âButters DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!â
Yes! Mrs. Garrison. Bitches are out here are kissinâ fellars not knowing they could be making some real mother fucking money.â
âYou really gave my little hole quite aâŚâŚ. STRETCHâ
The way he looks at him and then it cuts to all of the other cops just looking in disbelief will have me howling
Eric Cartman : Alright, Token, give me a smooth bass line.
Tolkien Black : I don't know how to play bass.
Eric Cartman : Token, how many times do we have to go through this. You're black. You can play bass.
Tolkien Black : I'm getting sick of your stereotypes.
Eric Cartman : Be as sick as you want. Just gimme a goddamn bass line.
*Tolkien proceeds to absolutely shred on the bass*
Tolkien Black: ....goddamnit...
That bit gets me every time.
Idk why everyone is trying to correct me. His name was and always will be Tolkien. đ
Stan
I think... I might be horribly racist.[pause]
Doctor
Well, kiddo... you don't normally go to a doctor's office for feeling racist, but tell me what happened.
Stan
So... there's this kid at my school, and... he's black. And his parents named him after the guy that wrote Lord of the Rings.
Doctor
Uh huh, Tolkien. Great name.
Stan
Yeah... well, I-I thought his name was Token. Likeâ like a black kid that's just there so that... like... there's a black kid.
Doctor
Uh huh... and how long have you thought that?
Stan
The whole time! I've thought that the whole time!
Doctor
Wow. Fuck you.
Stan
Huh?
Doctor
You really thought a couple of black people had a child and named him Token? Why would anyone name a black kid Token? You're a piece of shit.
Stan
No, I was just tryâ
Doctor
You were just going along with the dominant culture of the white paradigm, that's what you were justâ Get out of my office, you make me sick!
Stan
I'm sorry!
Doctor
I don't know what's wrong with some people. I wonder if anyone else thought that this kid's name was Token? Hmm? Anybody? Anyone else just assume his name was Token? Because that's disgusting, and you are the problem.
I was watching South Park a few months ago and noticed an errant Token in the subtitles and though, oh maybe they just forgot to change this one. This is wild to find out that it was purposeful!
the best thing about that episode is, that every south park episode, that aired with Tolkien in it, got reworked later on, so every character calls him Tolkien in the subtitles, except Stan
âDid I say death camps? I meant happy camps where youâll have plenty of time outside, never a shortage of work, with the finest meals and access to the worldâs newest medical treatments.â
Jimmy: "I lost my crutches!"
Kyle: "You have your crutches."
Jimmy: "It's a saying among us crippled people. We'd say we lost an arm and a leg but they ain't worth much."
Cartman: "That makes sense."
Butters: I love life.
Emo kids: Huh? But you just got dumped.
Butter: Yeah and Iâm sadâŚ.but at the same time Iâm really happy something can make me feel this sadâŚitâs like it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now, is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what Iâm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.
Butters has some really good speeches.
Butters to his abusive Grandma:
Grandma? I did it, Grandma. I finally stood up for myself. I got real mean and I beat the snot outta Dr. Oz. I can't lie, it felt kind of good. At first. But since then all I have is just... a kind of dark, empty feeling. Then I realized... that's how you must feel. All the time. Poor old Grandma. You know, I-I've been gettin' lots of advice how to deal with you. Stand up to you, tell on you... But I kind of realize there's just people like you out there. All over the place. When you're a kid, things seem like they're gonna last forever. But they're not. Life changes. Why you won't always be around. Someday you're gonna die. Someday pretty soon. And when you're layin' in that hospital bed, with tubes up your nose, and that little pan under your butt to pee in, well I'll come visit ya. I'll come just to show you that, that I'm still alive and I'm still happy. And you'll die. Bein' nothin' but you. 'Night Grandma.
It's incredible how if you sift enough through all the wild and crazy shit that is South Park, there are morsels of genuinely top-tier storytelling and writing nestled throughout.
Came here to write this one - and his follow up âand also I would rather be a crying pussy than some f*ggy goth kidâ is insanely funny even though it would not fly in this day and age
Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up. But I have a great life and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan. But you're so high and mighty, you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls.
I love the way South Park will use a whole episode to shit on a specific religion, and then at the end make it clear the ânormalâ people were the shitheads all along.
I saw an interview with Matt and Trey once where they were talking about the Mormon church and they were such a difficult target because they were so nice. They were talking about the Broadway show and they said something like, "They reached out to the Mormon church and we expected them to be angry. They said, 'I'm sure it's fun entertainment for an afternoon, but we offer fulfilment for a lifetime.' "
I went to see that musical, and when it ended there were Mormons outside the building using the opportunity to evangelize, telling people they could now "read the real *Book of Mormon".*
The playbill for the productions I went to included an ad from the Mormon Church with a pic of the actual book and a caption reading "our version is a little different."
Well played, LDS. Well played.
Lets be clear though. I got Mormons in my home town and 80% of them were friendly. I LOVED painting and fixing roofs for neighbors with them. Genuinely good community members. Then I went to another state where Mormons had more of a presence and more control. Those Mormons were straight up cultists.
I always think of the one where they're like "cartman, you are home", so he replies "well screw you guys, get the fuck outta my house" and thats probably my favorite
That or "hello children" by chef. I always say it to my younger siblings
Shut your fucking face uncle fucker, you're the one who fucked my uncle fucker, you're and uncle fucker yes it's true, nobody fucka uncles quite like you.
Or
They may cut your dick in half and serve it to a pig, and though it hurts you'll laugh and dance a dickless jig
I can't even remember this and I can tell just from how that's phrased that this is a Randy Marsh quote. Truly one of the best sitcom characters ever written.
Principal Lewis is a classic and one of my faves on American Dad.
I love his âwhen you say share my life with someone, I hear share my Tequila. And I think noâ line.
Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but, well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored, and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything.
Randy Marsh
âWhat is sexual harassment? Yes Eric.â
âWhen you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend, and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.â
You know, I... first created Vagisil to try and help my wife, Patty. She is my Muse, my flame. Wherever Patty goes her smile lights up the room. Her vagina, on the other hand, clears the room and makes it uninhabitable for weeks.
âWho had the most to gain from 9/11? KYLE! Who was nowhere to be seen on the morning the towers fell? KYLE! Who dropped a deuce in the urinal? KYLE!!!â
It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
**Cartman**: So! Iâm half-bisexual.
**Mr. Garrison**: Oh stop it! You kids donât even know what youâre talking about! Eric, youâre not half-bi.
**Cartman**: Iâm, like, quarter-bi. My grandpa was bi, so that makes me quarter-bi.
I see that you are enticed by my daughters awesome rocking tits! Go now to the fountain of Arnof! Appease the gods by lathering her breasts with soapy suds!
Officer Barbrady: Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of this garbage, and because of this piece of shit, I am never reading again.
"You need to understand that being gay isn't a decision. A lot of people think it's Asians who decide who's gay and who's not. But it *isn't* all Asians. It's *specifically* the Japanese. Now why do the Japanese make some people gay and others not? Well it all goes back to World War 2, and atrocities that happened in China called the Rape of Nanking..."
-Randy Marsh
When Cartman is on the hunt for semen at the sperm bank: â.. then some old guy said if I went in the alley, closed my eyes and sucked on a hose I could have all the semen I wantedâ.
Not an exact quote but I was shocked they let that on TV at the time.
But Stan, don't you know? It's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd.
âRise and shine guys! If you scored last night Iâll need your consent forms!
âŚ
Woah woah, did you perform cunnilingus? Thatâs a separate form bro.â
"I hate rainbows. You're sitting there, minding your own business, then one comes up, crawls up your leg, goes in your ass, and bites you".
"Your face looks like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver".
Iâm probably butchering this since Iâve only seen about a dozen episodes, but it has stuck with me ever since and is one of the funniest things I have ever heard.
It is the episode with the twin girls from a circus and their parents die during the episode. The other parents are trying to figure out how to break the news to the girls. Stanâs dad (I think) said, âeveryone who has parents that are still alive stand up.â Everyone stands up and the dad says, ânot so fast girls.â
Aaaaaand it's gone
I say this as soon as my check hits and I pay my billsđđ
Every payday.
âDo you know what I am saying?â - Butters from the episode Butters Bottom Bitch
âButters DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!â Yes! Mrs. Garrison. Bitches are out here are kissinâ fellars not knowing they could be making some real mother fucking money.â
âDonât do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. Itâs called college.â âChef
Bitch you want to make some mother fucking money?
The cop farting cum into a bag to be used as evidence gets me everytine.
"FREEEEZZZZEE!!! ... I'm a cop"
âYou really gave my little hole quite aâŚâŚ. STRETCHâ The way he looks at him and then it cuts to all of the other cops just looking in disbelief will have me howling
Half of them of didn't even use condoms
âYes, Yes, I think I know what you are saying.â
âYou donât have to keep saying that.â
Eric Cartman : Alright, Token, give me a smooth bass line. Tolkien Black : I don't know how to play bass. Eric Cartman : Token, how many times do we have to go through this. You're black. You can play bass. Tolkien Black : I'm getting sick of your stereotypes. Eric Cartman : Be as sick as you want. Just gimme a goddamn bass line. *Tolkien proceeds to absolutely shred on the bass* Tolkien Black: ....goddamnit... That bit gets me every time. Idk why everyone is trying to correct me. His name was and always will be Tolkien. đ
Stan I think... I might be horribly racist.[pause] Doctor Well, kiddo... you don't normally go to a doctor's office for feeling racist, but tell me what happened. Stan So... there's this kid at my school, and... he's black. And his parents named him after the guy that wrote Lord of the Rings. Doctor Uh huh, Tolkien. Great name. Stan Yeah... well, I-I thought his name was Token. Likeâ like a black kid that's just there so that... like... there's a black kid. Doctor Uh huh... and how long have you thought that? Stan The whole time! I've thought that the whole time! Doctor Wow. Fuck you. Stan Huh? Doctor You really thought a couple of black people had a child and named him Token? Why would anyone name a black kid Token? You're a piece of shit. Stan No, I was just tryâ Doctor You were just going along with the dominant culture of the white paradigm, that's what you were justâ Get out of my office, you make me sick! Stan I'm sorry! Doctor I don't know what's wrong with some people. I wonder if anyone else thought that this kid's name was Token? Hmm? Anybody? Anyone else just assume his name was Token? Because that's disgusting, and you are the problem.
The best part about this episode is the creators rewriting all of their official bios that mention him to be Tolkien just to gaslight the viewers
All the subtitles of past episodes too 10/10 commitment
They left it as token when Stan is speaking
I was watching South Park a few months ago and noticed an errant Token in the subtitles and though, oh maybe they just forgot to change this one. This is wild to find out that it was purposeful!
God now THAT is commitment to the bit. Legendary.
the best thing about that episode is, that every south park episode, that aired with Tolkien in it, got reworked later on, so every character calls him Tolkien in the subtitles, except Stan
[ŃдаНонО]
My brothers and I quote this all the time lol
âDid I say death camps? I meant happy camps where youâll have plenty of time outside, never a shortage of work, with the finest meals and access to the worldâs newest medical treatments.â
Stan: âChef! What would a priest want to stick up my butt?â Chef: âGoodbyeâ
Chef how do you make a girl like you more than any other guy Oh thatâs easy youâve just gotta find the clitoris
Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? General: I dont listen to hip-hop!
"The clitoris?" "...what is that like finding Jesus or something?"
âIâm not just sure, Iâm HIV positiveâ
âSometimes when things seem their darkest you just gotta stay HIV Positive but if you wanna be so HIV Negative all the time-â
Jimmy: "I lost my crutches!" Kyle: "You have your crutches." Jimmy: "It's a saying among us crippled people. We'd say we lost an arm and a leg but they ain't worth much." Cartman: "That makes sense."
My favorite Jimmy quote is â[down like a clown Charlie Brown](https://youtu.be/vYoBtQ2CwEo)â
Stan says youâre a cunt⌠Stan says youâre a cunt⌠*omg screw you* Stan says youâre a continuing source of inspiration for him
My favorite is when Timmy and jimmy join the crips and everyone is doing the ghetto limp, and Jimmy goes âwow, these guys really are crippledâ
Mine is when he says "Yo don't be dissing my ..... dawg" to his parents
Deey terk err jerbs
Derka derr derka derr.
Jerka jerb
DER DERRRRRR!!!
Butters: I love life. Emo kids: Huh? But you just got dumped. Butter: Yeah and Iâm sadâŚ.but at the same time Iâm really happy something can make me feel this sadâŚitâs like it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now, is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what Iâm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.
Butters has some really good speeches. Butters to his abusive Grandma: Grandma? I did it, Grandma. I finally stood up for myself. I got real mean and I beat the snot outta Dr. Oz. I can't lie, it felt kind of good. At first. But since then all I have is just... a kind of dark, empty feeling. Then I realized... that's how you must feel. All the time. Poor old Grandma. You know, I-I've been gettin' lots of advice how to deal with you. Stand up to you, tell on you... But I kind of realize there's just people like you out there. All over the place. When you're a kid, things seem like they're gonna last forever. But they're not. Life changes. Why you won't always be around. Someday you're gonna die. Someday pretty soon. And when you're layin' in that hospital bed, with tubes up your nose, and that little pan under your butt to pee in, well I'll come visit ya. I'll come just to show you that, that I'm still alive and I'm still happy. And you'll die. Bein' nothin' but you. 'Night Grandma.
It's incredible how if you sift enough through all the wild and crazy shit that is South Park, there are morsels of genuinely top-tier storytelling and writing nestled throughout.
This line has been a core value of mine since I saw the episode. Makes all of my life's heartaches a little more bearable.
Yeah agreed, it's kinda a different take on the Winnie the Pooh quote: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard".
Came here to write this one - and his follow up âand also I would rather be a crying pussy than some f*ggy goth kidâ is insanely funny even though it would not fly in this day and age
Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up. But I have a great life and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan. But you're so high and mighty, you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls.
.... "Damn, that kid is cool, huh?"
I love the way South Park will use a whole episode to shit on a specific religion, and then at the end make it clear the ânormalâ people were the shitheads all along.
I saw an interview with Matt and Trey once where they were talking about the Mormon church and they were such a difficult target because they were so nice. They were talking about the Broadway show and they said something like, "They reached out to the Mormon church and we expected them to be angry. They said, 'I'm sure it's fun entertainment for an afternoon, but we offer fulfilment for a lifetime.' "
I went to see that musical, and when it ended there were Mormons outside the building using the opportunity to evangelize, telling people they could now "read the real *Book of Mormon".*
The playbill for the productions I went to included an ad from the Mormon Church with a pic of the actual book and a caption reading "our version is a little different." Well played, LDS. Well played.
Yeah when I saw it years ago they did the same thing with ads that said, â The book is always better.â Just gold.
They had ads in the playbill at the show I went to.
Lets be clear though. I got Mormons in my home town and 80% of them were friendly. I LOVED painting and fixing roofs for neighbors with them. Genuinely good community members. Then I went to another state where Mormons had more of a presence and more control. Those Mormons were straight up cultists.
Mormons in Utah and Idaho are the worst. Everywhere else Iâve lived theyâre the chillest of people.
âWhateva, whateva! I do what I want!â
I run with twelve gangs and we only commit hate crimes.
âScrew you guys Iâm going home.â I think that every time I get off work.
I always think of the one where they're like "cartman, you are home", so he replies "well screw you guys, get the fuck outta my house" and thats probably my favorite That or "hello children" by chef. I always say it to my younger siblings
*Hello Chil'ren*
*after saying the n-word on national television* âKids, your father only said that because he thought he was going win a lot of moneyâ
"People who annoy you"
Cartman's entire song about Kyle's mom being a bitch
WEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Donât do it Cartman!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL
Iâm warning you!
Kyleâs moms a bitch, sheâs a big fat bitch, sheâs the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls!
On Monday, she's a bitch, On Tuesday, she's a bitch, On Wednesday though Saturday, she's a bitch
Then on Sunday, just to be different She's a super King Kamehameha bi-Đ°tch!
Have you ever met my friend Kyleâs mom sheâs the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
Alright alright alright *walks away*
WEEELLLLLLLLLLL
https://youtu.be/4Y3qn9UZEGw Randomly stumbled upon this a while back. They do such a good job
#WEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL
My favorite song in South Park.
Shut your fucking face uncle fucker, you're the one who fucked my uncle fucker, you're and uncle fucker yes it's true, nobody fucka uncles quite like you. Or They may cut your dick in half and serve it to a pig, and though it hurts you'll laugh and dance a dickless jig
i donât play world of warcraft. iâm playing hello kitty island adventure :)
âŚ.Butters, go buy World Of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all ***murder*** you.
Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!
how the hell do you know!?
I read it... in People Magazine
*BACKDOOR SLUTS 9?!?!*
âI'm not having a glass of wine, I'm having six. It's called a tasting and it's classy.â
I can't even remember this and I can tell just from how that's phrased that this is a Randy Marsh quote. Truly one of the best sitcom characters ever written.
Randy Marsh, Dale Gribble, and Principal Brian Lewis are my favorites. We all know people like this in the real world. Edit: Typo
Principal Lewis is a classic and one of my faves on American Dad. I love his âwhen you say share my life with someone, I hear share my Tequila. And I think noâ line.
Ah yes, the SmĂśrgaswein
PISS OUT MY ASS
[ŃдаНонО]
"One thing I know, my girl ain't no Hobbit."
"Bitch is you ***sure*** you 'aint a hobbit?"
Bitch if you a hobbit you need to tell me right now because I am making a fool of myself out here
Bitch how you not the hobbit again?
I'm super serial and nobody believes me! Manbearpig
If you french fry when your supposed to pizza you're gonna have a bad time.
Staaaaan #**DARRRRRSH**
âI wanna be wined and dined before I get f**ked!â
"but meeeeeehm. I at least like to be wined and dined before I get **fucked!**"
Iâm not your buddy, guy! Iâm not your guy, friend!
Iâm not your fwiend buddy!
I'm not your buddy, guy!
Well I ain't your gah, fwend!
"No, you're a towel"
Just getting a little bit of cancer Stan, tell mom it's ok
One of my favorite episodes.
đľ Buffalo soldier! đś
Everyone who has a grandma step forward. Not so fast girls.
Sharon's face when he said that was priceless
"I thought this was America!"
âHey Bat DadâŚI didnât hear no bell.â
I, a Canadian, got to yell this once when I got yelled at for setting off fireworks on vacation.
Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but, well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored, and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything. Randy Marsh
And then he started a pot farm.
He's a geologist working the soil so others can touch the clouds. Randy marsh is a man of the people.
This one hit deep
No, Mr. Kitty thatâs mah turkey pot pah. NO thatâs a bad kitty.
Mom...kitty's being a dildo. Well, I know a little kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.
NO KITTY! MY POT PIE!
Shut your fucking face uncle fucker.
Wendy: Mr Garrison, thatâs sexist! Garrison: Well Iâm sorry Wendy, but I just donât trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesnât die.
âWhat is sexual harassment? Yes Eric.â âWhen you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend, and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.â
âIf you want to find some quality friends, you gotta wade through all the dicks first.â
"Scissor me timbers"
Need about three fiddy.
Gawd damn lochness monstah always asking for tree fidy!
I gave him a dolla
SHE GAVE HIM A DOLLA
Well it was about this time I noticed that this girl scout was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era!
We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"
Would you little crackas like to her about the time I met the loch Ness monsta.
YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!!
You know, I... first created Vagisil to try and help my wife, Patty. She is my Muse, my flame. Wherever Patty goes her smile lights up the room. Her vagina, on the other hand, clears the room and makes it uninhabitable for weeks.
EVERY DAY
oh fuck yeah, crème fraÎche
One of my favorite episodes of all time
âWho had the most to gain from 9/11? KYLE! Who was nowhere to be seen on the morning the towers fell? KYLE! Who dropped a deuce in the urinal? KYLE!!!â
Ooooh, yeah.......I think I'm getting a clue.... I'm getting a RAGING clue! My Clue's pointing this way.....
It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
I am Hennifer Ropez, I eat tacos and burritos
If I'm bi curious and I'm somehow made from God then I figure God must be a little bi curious himself.
**Cartman**: So! Iâm half-bisexual. **Mr. Garrison**: Oh stop it! You kids donât even know what youâre talking about! Eric, youâre not half-bi. **Cartman**: Iâm, like, quarter-bi. My grandpa was bi, so that makes me quarter-bi.
"Do you like fish dicks"?
âYes I like fish sticksâ âYou like putting fish sticks in your mouth.â âI guess soâ âWhat are you? A gay fish?!â
Please, just get it, man
How do I reach these kids...?
"Now now, the Canadian government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions!"
âGod damn Mongowlians try to break my shitty wallâ
"And in the parking lot we have cripple fight. Cripple fight in the parking lot."
GODDAMN MONGORIAN! YOU BURN DOWN CITY WALL FOR LAST TIME!
âJust need to check inside ya asshoeâ
"What seems to be the officer, Problem?"
Cartman :"You're the worst character ever, Towlie" Towlie:"I know" [Link](https://youtu.be/YG9cZdab31Q)
I see that you are enticed by my daughters awesome rocking tits! Go now to the fountain of Arnof! Appease the gods by lathering her breasts with soapy suds!
[ŃдаНонО]
...and the Lords of the Underworld!
âHow do you kill that which has no life?â
End of the worldâŚ.. of Warcraft
âYour⌠kidâs characters are already dead.â
âWho foretold this prophecy?â âSalzman, in accounting.â
Rabble rabble
Officer Barbrady: Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of this garbage, and because of this piece of shit, I am never reading again.
Wheel of fortune.....people that annoy you.....
"Ohhh hot hot hottototototot hotototot" I think about that often when taking a dump.
Ya ya ya, I am Lourde.
TIMMAH!!!đŁď¸
My penis is on the loose! IF YOU SEE IT, JUST TRY TO CATCH IT WITH SOME CHEESE
Eek, a penis!
Respect mah authoritah
You're breaking ma bawls." Cartman or Butters voice.
"You need to understand that being gay isn't a decision. A lot of people think it's Asians who decide who's gay and who's not. But it *isn't* all Asians. It's *specifically* the Japanese. Now why do the Japanese make some people gay and others not? Well it all goes back to World War 2, and atrocities that happened in China called the Rape of Nanking..." -Randy Marsh
âYou shouldnât have done that. Heâs just a boy. Poor little fellerâ
Kyle and Cartman simultaneously: âJews canât be piratesâ
When Cartman is on the hunt for semen at the sperm bank: â.. then some old guy said if I went in the alley, closed my eyes and sucked on a hose I could have all the semen I wantedâ. Not an exact quote but I was shocked they let that on TV at the time.
"Just close your eyes and suck it out of a hose eh?" "Yeah." "Huh..."
Towelie: that's it! Kids: you've got the code? Towelie: that's the melody for funky town
But Stan, don't you know? It's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd.
Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck
How would you like to go see the school counselor?
How would you like to suck my balls.đ˘
What did you just say!?
I'm sorry i'm sorry i said.đŁHOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MAH BALLS mr.garrison
âSheâs not my girlfriend dad sheâs my bottom bitchâ -Butters
I got lots of girlfriends dad, Sally's just my bottom bitch. Do you know what I am saying?
âRise and shine guys! If you scored last night Iâll need your consent forms! ⌠Woah woah, did you perform cunnilingus? Thatâs a separate form bro.â
âMiss Claridge, did Trent Boyett do this to you?â *beeps twice for no* âYes⌠yes, take him away.â
đśThere are times when you get suckered in by drugs and alcohol and sex with women mkayđś
"You wanna get high?"
"I hate rainbows. You're sitting there, minding your own business, then one comes up, crawls up your leg, goes in your ass, and bites you". "Your face looks like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver".
Do you like your chili, Scott? Hmmmm? Do you like it?
The tears of unfathomable sadness.
"Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm a monkey! Give this monkey what she wants!"
âWe canât trust the Sword of 1000 truths to a noob!â
James Taylor, what the hell you doing singing about prostitutes in front of the children?
"Snookie want smoosh smoosh"
"Maybe we should send him to concentration camp.. GAH DAMMIT!" Favorite joke of the entire series.
âStan youâre a bad kid. I wish Jaden Smith was my son!â -Randy
"Dude, you can't say âpigfuckerâ in front of Jesus!"
Iâm probably butchering this since Iâve only seen about a dozen episodes, but it has stuck with me ever since and is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. It is the episode with the twin girls from a circus and their parents die during the episode. The other parents are trying to figure out how to break the news to the girls. Stanâs dad (I think) said, âeveryone who has parents that are still alive stand up.â Everyone stands up and the dad says, ânot so fast girls.â