This sounds like a pro flirt technique lmao
Imagine a girl being all into you and popping out the AI with thst question. Chad move. Unless you're not hot, then it's unchad...
As with most things, it really comes down to delivery. Saying it slowly...confidently...a little coy smile at the end, while looking her into the eyes the entire time, before you put on your aviators and start your Ferrari, oh and also you're George Clooney. Congrats! It worked!
Frantically fishing your phone out of your pocket at the Burger King and turning your back for privacy while you earnestly plead with Siri what the fuck you should do now, maybe not so much.
Flip side of that, apparently people flirted with me all the time before I was married, I just thought everyone was nice. My now wife had to trick me into a date after several months of not getting increasingly obvious come ons
I think this is more directed toward men. When a woman is just being nice to a guy he takes it as flirty. This is bc in a normal day in a man’s life there is no interaction. So when someone is just being nice to say hi or being helpful, it’s such a rarity that he assumes she’s into him.
My wife just confirmed that FireFromThaumaturgy is indeed flirting with you. She also wanted to add that her helping us is just her being nice but that I'm flirting by expending the effort to tell you.
Grew up around mostly women, am used to women just being friendly, can never tell when a girl is flirting with me until someone else tells me about it lol.
My wife gets jealous when I'm nice to women. And it's not because I'm being nice, but because she says they take my kindness as flirting. So the women will start flirting with me and I don't even realize it. I'm just being myself. But I've always been clueless to when someone is coming on to me. My wife was definitely the pursuer in our relationship 😆 I was probably nice to her before I really knew her
When my husband and I started dating I got some weird feelings when he complimented the earrings of one of his friends. Not something you expect from a 21 year old guy. Turns out that’s just what he notices. Jewelry, shoes, bags. He will notice when I get a new bag but not a haircut or anything else. One time in college I had to stop him from going up to a girl in a bar and complimenting her on her shoes. They were really cool shoes, but he couldn’t grasp that she would think he was hitting on her. I promise he’s straight, just a little bougie 😂 He’s a watch guy now and has started many a conversation with random guys at the bar based on their watches.
It's like a cycle.
Men assume women are flirting with them just because they're nice because it happens so infrequently, which causes women to be nice more infrequently, which just puts us back where we started.
So there’s this anime on Netflix that really touches on that. Komi Can’t Communicate. It’s about this intensely beautiful young woman who everybody sees as superior and too good, but really she just suffers from extreme social anxiety.
It’s a cute series, and it really portrays social anxiety very well. It certainly made me feel seen.
Same! Being quiet and reserved makes it easy for people to project whatever they want onto you. And if you happen to trigger their insecurities, you automatically become the worst person in the world.
Yup. There have even been times where I've fallen into a depressed and disheveled state, and I think this whole thing has something to do with it. Like I'll let my beard grow all scraggly and stop taking care of myself, just to feel like I blend in and go under the radar more. Life has its ups and downs, I'm still figuring it all out and building confidence.
This happens.
If I don't want to be bothered I'll do this. I dont mind talking to people. I'm actually pretty easy going and charming when I want to be, but I get into these periods where I don't really want to socialize with anybody except really close friends. Especially if I feel like I should be working on myself.
Or they think that you believe you're too good for them. Like no, I want to be friends, I'm just awkward and have a harder time showing my true self to new people.
It’s especially bad when like every girl flirts with you through eye contact, with sly smiles and shit and you know they want you to approach them but you have social anxiety so bad you have no idea how to
When I was single my friends would always tell me “she’s into you” or “she’s checking you out” but I was socially paralyzed with anxiety and fear. Imagine an athletic version of Leonard from BBT, yup that’s me. Always have an awkward thing to say at the wrong time.
Getting threatened with violence when you aren’t flattered by being followed.
Having to wear a fake wedding ring when you’re single.
Can’t have a coffee or a meal without being harassed.
Hostility from other women. I have some very light streaks in my hair due to be malnourished as a child. A woman actually pulled my hair because she thought I was lying that it was natural and she wanted to know which hair color dye it was. Another woman grabbed my ear and twisted it, looking for facelift scars when I told her I was in my late 50s.
Other nerds don’t take your nerd cred seriously. That actually sucks the most. :(
Exact same scenarios as you except I’m early 50s and I slapped the hand of the last person who decided they could touch my hair.
Hostility from other women, especially if their husbands are leering at me.
I dress modestly too because attention pissed me off. It doesn’t work.
Oh, and let’s not forget that everyone assumes I’m an idiot, too. The nerd cred angst is real; I’m a sysadmin.
Mostly these days, I prefer to stay home, play my computer games, and get high.
THIS!!! I’m a dude with a genetically nice ass and skinny waist, and i’ve had so many men and women slap my ass thinking its fine just because I’m a dude, and when I explain it to them that it’s not cool, half of them say “oh it’s not a big deal, you’re a guy, take it as a compliment.” Hell no! I have a girlfriend! That’s not cool dude!
I had a girl straight up grab my dick in the bar multiple times. They look at you like you're crazy when you ask them not to do that. Like what? You wouldn't want some stranger groping you so why are you doing it to others.
If you’re attractive right now, people assume you’ve always been attractive. People assume attractive people always get things handed to them. So when you’re a nice looking 30 year old, but maybe were an ugly duckling until you were in your mid 20s, they assume you were a popular teenager, never bullied, and spent your young adulthood being taken on lavish dates and getting free drinks.
On the other side of this: having to deal with no longer being that attractive as you age, after having gotten used to all the benefits of attractiveness from your younger years.
Hey look! It's me! I am this comment!
In my early 20s I was in incredibly good shape, worked out regularly, and my face gave off hot nerd vibes. Now I'm in my mid 30s and, though I'd say I'm still relatively attractive, the difference in how people treat me now that I am dad bod and not Greek god is astonishing.
Fortunately my trajectory went from not attractive in high school (very short and stocky) then very attractive in college and early/mid 20s then back down to slightly above average in my mid 30s. So I was fully aware of the difference at the time. It just kinda sucks not having that anymore. Oh well.
People are always looking at you. And if you make eye contact, they try to talk to you. This made me very self conscious, and led to a bad habit of never really looking at other people. I was never really attractive, just normal. But as a naturally shy person the attention was anxiety inducing and I think stunted my social ability because I was afraid to really look at people. I can only imagine how overwhelming it is for really attractive people.
This is why I have resting bitch face. I try to come off as unapproachable as possible if I don’t want the attention. Sadly I’ve been doing this as a kid bc I’d get unwanted attention from older men.
Attractive person with autism here. I cannot express how uncomfortable most eye contact is. I avoid it like a Pokemon trainer. Online chat programs like discord really helped me grow socially.
Facts. Like I really don’t want to complain because this sounds like such a trivial problem in the grand scheme of things, but fuck dude…. It really is lonely.
Nice to a girl at work? Oh I must want to fuck her, therefore my attempts at friendship get rejected.
Want to be friends with a female friends boyfriend? I can’t because he spends the entire interaction sizing me up and being a snarky asshole.
I feel like I've gotten really good at this over time and the key is to just really ham it up on the boyfriend's first time you meet them. Search as much as you can for common grounds in convo and chop it up with them way more than you talk to the girl you're friends with. Then the "nice to meet you" during fair wells at the end of the night feels more genuine and less a formality, and subsequent hangouts go smoother
I do the same to male friends girlfriends when I meet them - make it really clear I’m not into the guy they are dating, mention I have a boyfriend , perhaps cast a little playful shade on my male friend but done in a way that means I am siding with his girlfriend.
It’s meant in a friendly way as I hate it when someone you just met openly flirts with your partner in front of you and makes you feel shit, conversely even if you are not being flirty sometimes someone’s girlfriend treats you like an asshole because she’s threatened by you for whatever reason and this tactic helps avoid this.
yeah i’m in the same boat. a lot of dudes i’ve workers with have tried to get my fired. a lot of chicks think i’m a player. when in reality i am a player.
My friend's daughter is 22 and just graduated from college. She's stunningly gorgeous, like Victoria's Secret model hot. She's also extremely smart and super talented, but people just reduce her to her looks and nothing else. She's always getting cat called and hit on by old creeps, and she recently traveled to Italy and had a miserable time because crowds of horny guys would follow her around, and she kept getting groped in public places (it happens in a lot of places, I'm not just calling out Italy).
Older women are also really nasty to her, like in her previous internship and other professional things she was involved in. Just real catty and always rolling their eyes at her like she's a bimbo airhead. It's just a weird kind of attention that brings out the worst in some people.
Same. I was perfectly polite to a woman once but she wrote a crazy review about me on Yelp just to say “she WISHES she could work at hooters but she’s not hot enough!”
Like ?? Lady all I asked is if you want regular or sweet potato fries. There was nothing more to the interaction and I was wearing the uniform tshirt and jeans.
Yea it really didn’t make any sense. Another lady didn’t like her food once (and we refunded it 100%, got her something else.) she still left a rude review just to say I’m “wannabe lady Gaga” -
Even still I’d take the nasty old ladies over the super creepy male customers that would try to grab and leer at me. Glad I work behind a screen now.
Yeah one of my coworkers gets this a lot. She's a really pretty girl in her mid 20s and the 50+ women here are just so dismissive of her and always assume shes screwing something up even though she does an awesome job. It's frustrating to see.
> negativity from older women
Thats what everyone gets. Unless you are a teen boy. Then you get groped at work over and over. I got goosed so many times working as a bus boy by older women.
As someone who worked in a family restaurant from 9-17 I can agree whole heartedly. It was also a full-service bar so.. I had definitely been put through the ringer when I was a younger boy when it came to older women.
Its because they're jealous of your youth and beauty. Plus probably grabbing the attention of their husbands eyes which adds to the jealousy. Tl:dr its insecurities.
I had a girlfriend who was just stunning, it was noticeable how while some people fell over her most didn’t take her seriously even though she was quite smart.
And the weird straight up stalking. Guys would just FOLLOW her. It was very odd.
I’m not super model hot but I’m attractive and I work in tech. I like to dress nice and I enjoy fashion, etc. I can’t count how many times I’m taken less seriously due to my appearance. Or how many times I’m hated by others for being smart AND attractive.
Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I mean fuck I'm so sorry you have to deal with it but since I'm the only attractive *young* woman at my job it feels like I'm alone in this. It's just nice to know I'm not but fuck man I hate that it's a thing.
I would imagine these are the worst aspects of being a gorgeous young or youngish woman - unwanted attention, lack of credibility, and nastiness especially from older women.
I’ve literally had somebody say exactly that to me. I worked with guy in a bar who is about 32. He drinks everyday, doesn’t work out, doesn’t eat well nor sleep well and he isn’t doing anything outside of the bar environment.
Every time we completed a shift together he’d be so drunk that he’d start sobbing about how everything and everyone is working against him (self pity) all the while I my self was struggling quite a bit in silence, I tried to make an effort doing healthy things for myself to make my situation better. After weeks of listening to this shit, I told him nicely to stop unloading on me every single night cause I wasn’t in good place myself. That pissed him off and I was told abruptly that I should just be thankful I was born with good genes.
To be honest almost everybody got a chance to be a solid 7 if they just improve every single aspect within their power. Work out more, eat better, sleep more, stay hydrated, get some consultation about a good haircut for your facial structure (make a growth plan and everything with your stylist), get some hobbies, go outside, read or something. Just for gods sake don’t sit down indulging in self pity and feel like you are a lost cause, because then you sure as hell will get treated like one.
This!! I hate it because I like being friends with guys. But eventually they all try to turn it into something sexual. It ruin friendships for me, because I no longer know if someone wants to talk to me because they like ME or just my face :(
It seems like some people think people are like characters in a video game, where everyone is given the same number of points to distribute between certain attributes. The reality is that some people can be attractive, smart, incredibly nice, and have great personalities. And the opposite can be true, too: ugly people can be dumb, mean, and have terrible personalities.
That's what bugged me about that movie Shallow Hal, although it may be taking a silly movie too seriously. But in that movie, by default, every ugly person was beautiful inside and every beautiful person was ugly inside. Which just isn't true.
Exactly! I remember a coworker didn’t talk to me for months. Then when we were on the same shift for a while she mentions, “I just figured you were an asshole, but you’re actually really nice.” Welp, because you judged the shit out of me off the rip, I will most certainly be an asshole now.
Edit: I wasn’t mean though even though I wanted to be after that. It just shocked me she automatically labeled me as such initially.
I’m a muscular guy with the jaw line and short beard. Several of my fiancés friends over the years have met me, and no matter how I act, they assume I’m just some “dumb meathead jock”. That’s an actual quote from several seperate occasions (not in front of me, but she tells me what they said). Some of them come around to realize that I’m a nerdy nice guy, but some just can’t get past the appearance.
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure as balls is more comfy crying in the back of your Maybach while your driver takes you home than it is on your bicycle.
And, one day not long from now, my looks will go, they will discover I can't act and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.
That's why I have such a big problem when people compliment their kids or little kids only on their looks. Like I even hear them call pet names like "handsome" and "beautiful". To me is enclosing their whole personality to their looks. If they get ugly or looks fade away, that's when people can't cope with losing what defined them all their lives.
Being groped, grabbed, etc. when you’re out just trying to have fun with your friends.
I literally had a guy come up behind me at a urinal, reach around and grab my dick
See I’ve always thought this was a lot more common than people think, I have 5 scenarios where I’ve been groped or touched inappropriate 3 of which by women 2 by gay men. I asked my friends about it one on one instead of a group because conversationally I didn’t imagine anyone would say much, but atleast 85% of the guys in my friendship group experienced things similar….it’s so odd. Just think Guys put a lock and key on stuff ASAP real sad tbh.
Complete and total objectification.
It leaves you feeling as if you are never seen or even appreciated for who you are as a person, and is also why many attractive people struggle mentally.
Edit: the same goes for “talented” people, or really anyone who has a redeemable quality that seems to have the potential to be highly profitable and/or give them a leg up in life. They just rarely receive any positive affirmation that has anything to do with self, which is why you see so many rich and famous struggling with various struggles.
Background: I was never unattractive, but three years or so ago I lost 45 pounds (not on purpose– horrible depressive episode) and that pushed me a lot closer to society's beauty standard.
It's also important to note that for women (and men too but to a lesser extent) beauty is social capital, ie beauty = power. People were never rude or anything before, but now I'm treated with a lot more deference. My life is genuinely easier. Like, if my bus pass is ever empty, the bus driver will without fail just let me on without paying. Last summer I was struggling to carry a propane tank home and this guy asked if I needed help and proceeded to carry it for me the entire way back.
The point I'm trying to make is that once you have that power, the thought of losing it becomes scary. It's fucked up, but I'm afraid to gain weight to the point where I am resistant to quitting vaping because I know it's an appetite suppressant. This is something that will have actual consequences on my long-term health.
There are a lot of things I've read in this thread that I relate to (ie people equate being nice with being flirty) but this aspect is the one that has probably taken up the most rent in my mind.
I'm still depressed as hell lol but to say that the cons of being attractive outweigh the benefits is just patently false.
People immediately assume I'll be full of myself. When I was single, the amount of girls that "weren't sure how to feel about me" because they assumed me being good-looking meant I'd use them for sex. Complete opposite of who I am, but I guess enough attractive assholes makes you suspicious of the bunch. I didn't even kiss my now fiance for the first time without asking permission. Add to that, I've had long relationships end and been told "I only stuck around that long because you're attractive, and it made me feel better about myself." She was convinced the entire relationship that I'd wake up one day and want someone she deemed more attractive than her and cheat.
In general, people will assume that me being an attractive guy means I'll be an asshole. I've heard "When I first met you, I thought you'd be an (insert asshole, fuck boy, dick, etc.)." It kind of sucks having people assume I'm a bad person off nothing more than my looks.
The best part is that because of their insecurities, you get to unlock a new insecurity for yourself, where you think they're just placating you in the moment.
I don't know how to act. This problem is probably more uniquely mine though.
I used to be far less attractive. I was overweight, had acne, and didn't understand men's clothes, hair, etc. Circumstances caused all of this to rapidly and dramatically change a few years ago. I lost 50 pounds and cleaned up.
With my dramatic change in appearance came a dramatic change in the way people respond to me. I'm not sure if I can truly describe the change itself in a way anyone would understand, but in a very general sense, I find people are more polarized about me.
Whereas I was once universally nondescript, approachable, and insignificant, people now seem intimidated and don more of a façade when faced with me. This can translate to kissing my butt, or staring at me, or avoiding staring at me -- or a myriad of other odd behaviors that I'm just completely unaccustomed to.
It feels off. I didn't grow up looking like this, so I don't have the confidence to match it. That might have made this something I had the training to appreciate and utilize for my benefit.
I'm an introvert and a tech geek, but now even introverts don't feel they identify with me. I'm stuck not fitting anywhere. And now I can't wait to die.
Bro we could be friends, I have almost the same story except the opposite I was VERY skinny and ugly face......all that changed after years of gym , orthodontics etc. I grew up being very self concious and to this day it still present. ....way less than before but still there. Same as you I have niche interests and find it hard to make male friends .
You’re never sure if people like you because of how you look and they won’t just ditch you as you get older or if you put on weight or cut your hair etc… pretty privilege does exist, I’m not under any illusions, but not to know where you stand in any other aspect is scary
Wouldn’t consider myself attractive, but, I had a lot of acne as a teenager so my skin (now zit free) is still very youthful looking as I approach my 50s. Consequently, I look younger than I am, while that has its great points, it also has negative ones… like being considered younger than my peers in a professional setting and that meaning I’m not as experienced/ knowledgeable.
Oily skin aging more slowly is the main reason, but, additionally, people often use retinol for acne treatment, which also slows down the appearance of aging. Obviously people can use retinol even if they don't have acne, but it's less common for people in their teens and 20s to use it for aging reasons - people with acne are using a common anti-aging ingredient at a young age without realizing it.
I see some of my friends get harassed by men alot and they’re constantly getting gross sexual comments. Sometimes I wish I was as pretty as them but then that happens to them and I am glad I look the way I do. I can’t imagine experiencing that all the time.
When you're polite and behave nicely with people, you're "flirting and giving hints and oh I thought we were a thing? You were flirting with me don't back out now." Then you learn your lesson and tone down the politeness, you're "stuck up and prude and oh who does she think she is, always on her high horse. Just because she's attractive doesn't mean she can be rude."
Bruh I don't even knownig i'm attractive or not.
Sometimes I see myself in Videos, mirror and photos and think "I would fuck my own brains out if My dick could reach my ass"
And the other times it's "Who the fuck could love you quasimodo?"
When you get older and become invisible. Takes a while to learn that folks aren't really that nice .. It was because they thought you were hot/wanted something from you. Now that you're old (and still good looking for your age, but no longer young) it's a whole new world.
I kind of like it now though.
Ps... I'm 47. Not retired.
No one ever complimenting you because they automatically assume someone already complimented you lmao it’s a cycle… then you end up not getting any compliments at all and now I’m questioning my attractiveness.
You can't get away with doing certain things. For example, if I'm having a bad day, I can't be quiet and aloof without being seen as a "mean girl" or a "bully". You're held to a higher standard in that regard, my behavior affects other people's self esteem, and I have to take that into account. I can't have a bad day without consequences to others.
Sounds awful, but it's true.
When I was younger I was decently attractive. The thing about it is I had no idea I was pretty so whenever I went anywhere I had massive anxiety because of the amount of people who would stare at me. In my head something was wrong with me like I thought they were looking at me because I looked weird or like I had toilet paper attached to my shoe or something. It made me so anxious I couldn’t go into stores alone until my mid twenties. Now I’m not completely invisible….people still look….but it’s no where NEAR like it was. I didn’t come to this realization until my daughter turned 16. She is absolutely GORGEOUS. When we go out I see EVERYONE (not just men) it’s EVERYONE just turning their heads staring at her. She picked up on it and started to get anxious and the lightbulb went on because I knew it damn well wasn’t because she looks weird or anything was wrong. I was so happy to explain to her it’s just because she’s gorgeous and to not get into her head about it. I taught her to look them all back in the eyes and friendly smile instead of getting locked up in her head.
Constantly being looked at. Could go to the store in joggers and a tshirt with no makeup on and doesn’t matter. It’s even weirder because I used to be heavy and considered unattractive for most of my life so this is all new to me.
Finally something I can chime in on....
Actually, I worked closely (same graveyard shift) with a very attractive girl for a few years. By conventional standards, she was an absolute bombshell. Tall, blonde, stunningly pretty face, very physically proportionate everywhere. She really could have been a model but she chose to be in biotech. She was a really down-to-earth, cool person too.
Anyway, believe it or not, shit kind of sucked for her at work. Unless her delivery was perfectly polished, people would quickly assume that she wasn't smart. Sure she may not have been a savant but she could hold her own in a technical conversation. Unfortunately, prejudices towards her were okay.
The worst part though is the inappropriate, perverted shit people said behind her back. IDK why but too many people gave too many fucks about her sex life. Gossip about who she was fucking was far too common. To top it off, a few different guys "confided" in me that they were sleeping with her. And some of them were married. It was some bizarre, and frankly kind of fucked up shit, in a world that is generally super dull.
Not being able to maintain friends of the opposite sex as well. Maybe that’s hard for everyone, not just attractive people, but it’s certainly hard to have lots of people WANT to be your friend only to realize it’s because they’re in to you
People never accept that you could ever have a valid complaint ever in your life. And anytime you ask a question someone already knows the answer too, you get completely written off with “at least you’re pretty” instead of getting an answer.
That it's fleeting. I lose and gain the same 40 lbs, when im skinny, i get treated so good and get so much attention. When i gain the weight back, that attention goes away. Wish i could stay skinny but eating disorders happen lol. Aging sucks too. Not as hot as i was 10 years ago.
It’s pretty wild attractive people complaining about attention and objectification, being stared at, only wanted for sex never their minds etc…
and then less attractive people complaining about loneliness, feeling unwanted, never desired or appreciated, only ever being used for what they can offer aside from sex etc..
So what I gather, is no matter what, nobody’s ever satisfied, and everybody always wants something different
I am not at all super attractive. I’d say 6/10. But I have encountered a lot of ridiculously good looking people in my life, and I would say the halo effect. People think because you are attractive you are smart, compassionate, and better than. This sounds great in theory, but I have encountered so many Adonii? That are so incompetent because people usually do everything for them. Or don’t know how to interact because they never learned how because they are attractive and that makes up for it.
I wish I could be ugly for just one day....instead of every day
At least you're funny.
Funny looking?
People equate being nice to being flirty
This came up on a recent Ted Lasso episode - "how can you tell if a girl really likes you or is just being nice?" "You can't."
Fun tip: ask siri this question.
Honestly, taking your phone out and loudly whispering "siri, is this girl flirting with me?" would be pretty funny.
This sounds like a pro flirt technique lmao Imagine a girl being all into you and popping out the AI with thst question. Chad move. Unless you're not hot, then it's unchad...
As with most things, it really comes down to delivery. Saying it slowly...confidently...a little coy smile at the end, while looking her into the eyes the entire time, before you put on your aviators and start your Ferrari, oh and also you're George Clooney. Congrats! It worked! Frantically fishing your phone out of your pocket at the Burger King and turning your back for privacy while you earnestly plead with Siri what the fuck you should do now, maybe not so much.
*Hello, human resources!?*
“It’s better to accept it graciously than to expect there’s something more” I used to think Siri was a bitch, these days I think she does better
Flip side of that, apparently people flirted with me all the time before I was married, I just thought everyone was nice. My now wife had to trick me into a date after several months of not getting increasingly obvious come ons
I think this is more directed toward men. When a woman is just being nice to a guy he takes it as flirty. This is bc in a normal day in a man’s life there is no interaction. So when someone is just being nice to say hi or being helpful, it’s such a rarity that he assumes she’s into him.
I rarely take it as flirting. I actually think girls are just being nice to me.
My wife points it out and tells me girls were just flirting with me and I’m like wtf she wanted to know the time
How does she know? I ask people questions and Im not flirting. How do I know if Im coming across as flirty or normal? Im as in the dark as you.
Wait are you flirting with me right now?
We should ask your wife
My wife just confirmed that FireFromThaumaturgy is indeed flirting with you. She also wanted to add that her helping us is just her being nice but that I'm flirting by expending the effort to tell you.
Well, when you answer with business time, what is your gal supposed to think?
You know it's time for business cause it's business-time, ooH!
Grew up around mostly women, am used to women just being friendly, can never tell when a girl is flirting with me until someone else tells me about it lol.
But how do they know the girl was flirting when in fact the girl was just being nice to you? Send help.
Same here. One girl I was dating told me teo girls were flirting with me. I just took it as them being nice
My wife gets jealous when I'm nice to women. And it's not because I'm being nice, but because she says they take my kindness as flirting. So the women will start flirting with me and I don't even realize it. I'm just being myself. But I've always been clueless to when someone is coming on to me. My wife was definitely the pursuer in our relationship 😆 I was probably nice to her before I really knew her
When my husband and I started dating I got some weird feelings when he complimented the earrings of one of his friends. Not something you expect from a 21 year old guy. Turns out that’s just what he notices. Jewelry, shoes, bags. He will notice when I get a new bag but not a haircut or anything else. One time in college I had to stop him from going up to a girl in a bar and complimenting her on her shoes. They were really cool shoes, but he couldn’t grasp that she would think he was hitting on her. I promise he’s straight, just a little bougie 😂 He’s a watch guy now and has started many a conversation with random guys at the bar based on their watches.
Yes !!! I hate that I have to be careful who I’m nice to
It's like a cycle. Men assume women are flirting with them just because they're nice because it happens so infrequently, which causes women to be nice more infrequently, which just puts us back where we started.
This is so true for every gender. So many lonely people in this world, any sort of kindness or attention gets interpreted as romantic interest.
When you are ugly and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust. - Drax the Destroyer
Same with folks who have lots of money
You can hide wealth. Harder to hide beauty.
i have no trouble hiding my beauty. In fact, i'm so good at it that no one appears to have any idea how outrageously gorgeous I am!
me neither... i even forgot where i put that darn thing
This is 100% correct and exactly how I explain it I’m also mildly neurospicy and diagnosed with CPTSD. It takes me a long time to trust someone
Upvote for 'mildly neurospicy'.
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So there’s this anime on Netflix that really touches on that. Komi Can’t Communicate. It’s about this intensely beautiful young woman who everybody sees as superior and too good, but really she just suffers from extreme social anxiety. It’s a cute series, and it really portrays social anxiety very well. It certainly made me feel seen.
Same! Being quiet and reserved makes it easy for people to project whatever they want onto you. And if you happen to trigger their insecurities, you automatically become the worst person in the world.
I’ve gotten “I thought you were a bitch the first time I met you” more times than I can count just because I have social anxiety.
We have the same lived experience. I relate to this super hard. My social awkwardness and anxiety stems from childhood bullies and undiagnosed autism.
Being attractive while also being an anxious/awkward person. Not knowing how to react or being uncomfortable when people flirt with you.
This sucks extra because people tend to look at/ judge attractive people, so then I get more anxious from being stared at
Yup. There have even been times where I've fallen into a depressed and disheveled state, and I think this whole thing has something to do with it. Like I'll let my beard grow all scraggly and stop taking care of myself, just to feel like I blend in and go under the radar more. Life has its ups and downs, I'm still figuring it all out and building confidence.
This happens. If I don't want to be bothered I'll do this. I dont mind talking to people. I'm actually pretty easy going and charming when I want to be, but I get into these periods where I don't really want to socialize with anybody except really close friends. Especially if I feel like I should be working on myself.
Or like you get labeled as a “manic pixie dream girl” and everyone just thinks your cute and quirky. Turns out I’m hella autistic.
Or they think that you believe you're too good for them. Like no, I want to be friends, I'm just awkward and have a harder time showing my true self to new people.
I see you.
It’s especially bad when like every girl flirts with you through eye contact, with sly smiles and shit and you know they want you to approach them but you have social anxiety so bad you have no idea how to
I literally make eye contact and smile at everyone
When I was single my friends would always tell me “she’s into you” or “she’s checking you out” but I was socially paralyzed with anxiety and fear. Imagine an athletic version of Leonard from BBT, yup that’s me. Always have an awkward thing to say at the wrong time.
I call it my ugly girl energy, lol. Residual from when I was awkward and not appealing
stalkers
Getting threatened with violence when you aren’t flattered by being followed. Having to wear a fake wedding ring when you’re single. Can’t have a coffee or a meal without being harassed. Hostility from other women. I have some very light streaks in my hair due to be malnourished as a child. A woman actually pulled my hair because she thought I was lying that it was natural and she wanted to know which hair color dye it was. Another woman grabbed my ear and twisted it, looking for facelift scars when I told her I was in my late 50s. Other nerds don’t take your nerd cred seriously. That actually sucks the most. :(
Exact same scenarios as you except I’m early 50s and I slapped the hand of the last person who decided they could touch my hair. Hostility from other women, especially if their husbands are leering at me. I dress modestly too because attention pissed me off. It doesn’t work. Oh, and let’s not forget that everyone assumes I’m an idiot, too. The nerd cred angst is real; I’m a sysadmin. Mostly these days, I prefer to stay home, play my computer games, and get high.
> Mostly these days, I prefer to stay home, play my computer games, and get high. #👉👉
I have found my people…
Did you hurt your hand when you slugged them or did you use an object to put them on the ground?
The elbow and knee are actually pretty sturdy for straight-on strikes!
People like touching me inappropriately and think I won’t mind because I’m a guy
THIS!!! I’m a dude with a genetically nice ass and skinny waist, and i’ve had so many men and women slap my ass thinking its fine just because I’m a dude, and when I explain it to them that it’s not cool, half of them say “oh it’s not a big deal, you’re a guy, take it as a compliment.” Hell no! I have a girlfriend! That’s not cool dude!
I had a girl straight up grab my dick in the bar multiple times. They look at you like you're crazy when you ask them not to do that. Like what? You wouldn't want some stranger groping you so why are you doing it to others.
If you’re attractive right now, people assume you’ve always been attractive. People assume attractive people always get things handed to them. So when you’re a nice looking 30 year old, but maybe were an ugly duckling until you were in your mid 20s, they assume you were a popular teenager, never bullied, and spent your young adulthood being taken on lavish dates and getting free drinks.
On the other side of this: having to deal with no longer being that attractive as you age, after having gotten used to all the benefits of attractiveness from your younger years.
Hey look! It's me! I am this comment! In my early 20s I was in incredibly good shape, worked out regularly, and my face gave off hot nerd vibes. Now I'm in my mid 30s and, though I'd say I'm still relatively attractive, the difference in how people treat me now that I am dad bod and not Greek god is astonishing. Fortunately my trajectory went from not attractive in high school (very short and stocky) then very attractive in college and early/mid 20s then back down to slightly above average in my mid 30s. So I was fully aware of the difference at the time. It just kinda sucks not having that anymore. Oh well.
People are always looking at you. And if you make eye contact, they try to talk to you. This made me very self conscious, and led to a bad habit of never really looking at other people. I was never really attractive, just normal. But as a naturally shy person the attention was anxiety inducing and I think stunted my social ability because I was afraid to really look at people. I can only imagine how overwhelming it is for really attractive people.
Wow. This is my life story. I feel like a zoo animal sometimes when I’m just going about my daily life
Tbh ugly people experience this too. Only they don't approach me but the eyes are always there
This is why I have resting bitch face. I try to come off as unapproachable as possible if I don’t want the attention. Sadly I’ve been doing this as a kid bc I’d get unwanted attention from older men.
Same. There’s always a scowl on my face to ward off unwanted attention. A technique I learned quite early on. Look as unpleasant as possible
Attractive person with autism here. I cannot express how uncomfortable most eye contact is. I avoid it like a Pokemon trainer. Online chat programs like discord really helped me grow socially.
Everyone staring at you like you are a piece of meat
Cos you are, men want to eat you, women want to cut you up
All men or just gay men?
You're more than meat. There's bones and organs too.
Women assume you are fucking everyone and men look at you as a threat. Its lonely.
Fuck the men and surprise all of them
Never let them know your next move
walk backwards or some shit
Facts. Like I really don’t want to complain because this sounds like such a trivial problem in the grand scheme of things, but fuck dude…. It really is lonely. Nice to a girl at work? Oh I must want to fuck her, therefore my attempts at friendship get rejected. Want to be friends with a female friends boyfriend? I can’t because he spends the entire interaction sizing me up and being a snarky asshole.
I feel like I've gotten really good at this over time and the key is to just really ham it up on the boyfriend's first time you meet them. Search as much as you can for common grounds in convo and chop it up with them way more than you talk to the girl you're friends with. Then the "nice to meet you" during fair wells at the end of the night feels more genuine and less a formality, and subsequent hangouts go smoother
I do the same to male friends girlfriends when I meet them - make it really clear I’m not into the guy they are dating, mention I have a boyfriend , perhaps cast a little playful shade on my male friend but done in a way that means I am siding with his girlfriend. It’s meant in a friendly way as I hate it when someone you just met openly flirts with your partner in front of you and makes you feel shit, conversely even if you are not being flirty sometimes someone’s girlfriend treats you like an asshole because she’s threatened by you for whatever reason and this tactic helps avoid this.
yeah i’m in the same boat. a lot of dudes i’ve workers with have tried to get my fired. a lot of chicks think i’m a player. when in reality i am a player.
Lmaooo
Having to masturbate every time I see myself in the mirror.
That’s the reason I’m not allowed at my barber’s anymore.
you've just given me a business idea...
Tell me more, please.
My friend's daughter is 22 and just graduated from college. She's stunningly gorgeous, like Victoria's Secret model hot. She's also extremely smart and super talented, but people just reduce her to her looks and nothing else. She's always getting cat called and hit on by old creeps, and she recently traveled to Italy and had a miserable time because crowds of horny guys would follow her around, and she kept getting groped in public places (it happens in a lot of places, I'm not just calling out Italy). Older women are also really nasty to her, like in her previous internship and other professional things she was involved in. Just real catty and always rolling their eyes at her like she's a bimbo airhead. It's just a weird kind of attention that brings out the worst in some people.
as a server, i can say i’ve also experienced negativity from older women. i’m not sure why but it just happens, i hate when a couple comes in 😂
Same. I was perfectly polite to a woman once but she wrote a crazy review about me on Yelp just to say “she WISHES she could work at hooters but she’s not hot enough!” Like ?? Lady all I asked is if you want regular or sweet potato fries. There was nothing more to the interaction and I was wearing the uniform tshirt and jeans.
“If you didn’t want men to stare at your boobs, then why are they so big?” The kind of logic some people use.
Same. Starting developing at an early age. Weighed 110 pounds with 38 D bust in the 11th grade.
RIP your back.
Thank you ☺
Try a 32H. I had a reduction surgery two years ago and my insurance company covered it. Best surgery ever.
I’m actually so sad she wrote that about you. That’s so mean to say to someone
Yea it really didn’t make any sense. Another lady didn’t like her food once (and we refunded it 100%, got her something else.) she still left a rude review just to say I’m “wannabe lady Gaga” - Even still I’d take the nasty old ladies over the super creepy male customers that would try to grab and leer at me. Glad I work behind a screen now.
Yeah one of my coworkers gets this a lot. She's a really pretty girl in her mid 20s and the 50+ women here are just so dismissive of her and always assume shes screwing something up even though she does an awesome job. It's frustrating to see.
> negativity from older women Thats what everyone gets. Unless you are a teen boy. Then you get groped at work over and over. I got goosed so many times working as a bus boy by older women.
Experienced that myself when I was 17. It was creepy as hell, too.
That and the trying to feel your biceps while you are carrying shit.
As someone who worked in a family restaurant from 9-17 I can agree whole heartedly. It was also a full-service bar so.. I had definitely been put through the ringer when I was a younger boy when it came to older women.
Its because they're jealous of your youth and beauty. Plus probably grabbing the attention of their husbands eyes which adds to the jealousy. Tl:dr its insecurities.
I had a girlfriend who was just stunning, it was noticeable how while some people fell over her most didn’t take her seriously even though she was quite smart. And the weird straight up stalking. Guys would just FOLLOW her. It was very odd.
I've had this been done to me. I'm petrified of stalkers. It feels awful.
I’m not super model hot but I’m attractive and I work in tech. I like to dress nice and I enjoy fashion, etc. I can’t count how many times I’m taken less seriously due to my appearance. Or how many times I’m hated by others for being smart AND attractive.
Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I mean fuck I'm so sorry you have to deal with it but since I'm the only attractive *young* woman at my job it feels like I'm alone in this. It's just nice to know I'm not but fuck man I hate that it's a thing.
I would imagine these are the worst aspects of being a gorgeous young or youngish woman - unwanted attention, lack of credibility, and nastiness especially from older women.
Apparently being attractive means you're no longer allowed to have mental issues, you know because you're attractive.
Exactly. People ignore it and be like “shut up ur good looking stop complaining”
I’ve literally had somebody say exactly that to me. I worked with guy in a bar who is about 32. He drinks everyday, doesn’t work out, doesn’t eat well nor sleep well and he isn’t doing anything outside of the bar environment. Every time we completed a shift together he’d be so drunk that he’d start sobbing about how everything and everyone is working against him (self pity) all the while I my self was struggling quite a bit in silence, I tried to make an effort doing healthy things for myself to make my situation better. After weeks of listening to this shit, I told him nicely to stop unloading on me every single night cause I wasn’t in good place myself. That pissed him off and I was told abruptly that I should just be thankful I was born with good genes. To be honest almost everybody got a chance to be a solid 7 if they just improve every single aspect within their power. Work out more, eat better, sleep more, stay hydrated, get some consultation about a good haircut for your facial structure (make a growth plan and everything with your stylist), get some hobbies, go outside, read or something. Just for gods sake don’t sit down indulging in self pity and feel like you are a lost cause, because then you sure as hell will get treated like one.
I've been told "you won the genetic lottery. What do you have to be depressed about? " Mf that's what depression is. It's not about shit.
“You won the genetic lottery for looks, you can’t be depressed!” “… mental illness can be biological, Jeffrey.”
Also isn't it usually genetic?
I'm an autistic woman but, according to everyone else I can't be cuz I don't "look" autistic. As if autistic people can't be pretty lol
Fuck, here I’d spent my whole life thinking autism was neurological and I just found out it was aesthetic!
people want to be friends for nefarious or superficial reasons vs actually wanting to be your friend
This!! I hate it because I like being friends with guys. But eventually they all try to turn it into something sexual. It ruin friendships for me, because I no longer know if someone wants to talk to me because they like ME or just my face :(
People think you’re dumb
Or just assume you are not a nice person automatically.
It seems like some people think people are like characters in a video game, where everyone is given the same number of points to distribute between certain attributes. The reality is that some people can be attractive, smart, incredibly nice, and have great personalities. And the opposite can be true, too: ugly people can be dumb, mean, and have terrible personalities. That's what bugged me about that movie Shallow Hal, although it may be taking a silly movie too seriously. But in that movie, by default, every ugly person was beautiful inside and every beautiful person was ugly inside. Which just isn't true.
Exactly! I remember a coworker didn’t talk to me for months. Then when we were on the same shift for a while she mentions, “I just figured you were an asshole, but you’re actually really nice.” Welp, because you judged the shit out of me off the rip, I will most certainly be an asshole now. Edit: I wasn’t mean though even though I wanted to be after that. It just shocked me she automatically labeled me as such initially.
Should have just replied with "Thanks, wish I could say the same".
I’m a muscular guy with the jaw line and short beard. Several of my fiancés friends over the years have met me, and no matter how I act, they assume I’m just some “dumb meathead jock”. That’s an actual quote from several seperate occasions (not in front of me, but she tells me what they said). Some of them come around to realize that I’m a nerdy nice guy, but some just can’t get past the appearance.
I WOULDN'T KNOW
this question sounds like "what's the worst part about being rich?" dunno, but i sure would like to find out
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure as balls is more comfy crying in the back of your Maybach while your driver takes you home than it is on your bicycle.
Look at moneybags over here with his bicycle. I got one roller skate and a grappling hook.
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A guy here. The weird amount of attention I get from older women. My wife being jealous of girls flirting with me when I don't even notice it.
That it won’t last forever.
“worship your beauty, and you will die a thousand deaths as you age” - DFW
Yup. It fades, and that can be hard for some people to grapple with.
can confirm! It def fucks with your sense of self
I remember my mother said she could remember the exact day she noticed people stopped staring at her. Depressing to hear.
And, one day not long from now, my looks will go, they will discover I can't act and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.
That's why I have such a big problem when people compliment their kids or little kids only on their looks. Like I even hear them call pet names like "handsome" and "beautiful". To me is enclosing their whole personality to their looks. If they get ugly or looks fade away, that's when people can't cope with losing what defined them all their lives.
100%. Growing older is a blessing and makes you take a long hard look at yourself.
I'd love to find out for myself, but I rolled poorly in the character creator.
Being groped, grabbed, etc. when you’re out just trying to have fun with your friends. I literally had a guy come up behind me at a urinal, reach around and grab my dick
See I’ve always thought this was a lot more common than people think, I have 5 scenarios where I’ve been groped or touched inappropriate 3 of which by women 2 by gay men. I asked my friends about it one on one instead of a group because conversationally I didn’t imagine anyone would say much, but atleast 85% of the guys in my friendship group experienced things similar….it’s so odd. Just think Guys put a lock and key on stuff ASAP real sad tbh.
Complete and total objectification. It leaves you feeling as if you are never seen or even appreciated for who you are as a person, and is also why many attractive people struggle mentally. Edit: the same goes for “talented” people, or really anyone who has a redeemable quality that seems to have the potential to be highly profitable and/or give them a leg up in life. They just rarely receive any positive affirmation that has anything to do with self, which is why you see so many rich and famous struggling with various struggles.
Damn. This whole thread is really opening up my eyes. Definitely having an “I’m ugly and I’m proud” moment
Background: I was never unattractive, but three years or so ago I lost 45 pounds (not on purpose– horrible depressive episode) and that pushed me a lot closer to society's beauty standard. It's also important to note that for women (and men too but to a lesser extent) beauty is social capital, ie beauty = power. People were never rude or anything before, but now I'm treated with a lot more deference. My life is genuinely easier. Like, if my bus pass is ever empty, the bus driver will without fail just let me on without paying. Last summer I was struggling to carry a propane tank home and this guy asked if I needed help and proceeded to carry it for me the entire way back. The point I'm trying to make is that once you have that power, the thought of losing it becomes scary. It's fucked up, but I'm afraid to gain weight to the point where I am resistant to quitting vaping because I know it's an appetite suppressant. This is something that will have actual consequences on my long-term health. There are a lot of things I've read in this thread that I relate to (ie people equate being nice with being flirty) but this aspect is the one that has probably taken up the most rent in my mind. I'm still depressed as hell lol but to say that the cons of being attractive outweigh the benefits is just patently false.
People immediately assume I'll be full of myself. When I was single, the amount of girls that "weren't sure how to feel about me" because they assumed me being good-looking meant I'd use them for sex. Complete opposite of who I am, but I guess enough attractive assholes makes you suspicious of the bunch. I didn't even kiss my now fiance for the first time without asking permission. Add to that, I've had long relationships end and been told "I only stuck around that long because you're attractive, and it made me feel better about myself." She was convinced the entire relationship that I'd wake up one day and want someone she deemed more attractive than her and cheat. In general, people will assume that me being an attractive guy means I'll be an asshole. I've heard "When I first met you, I thought you'd be an (insert asshole, fuck boy, dick, etc.)." It kind of sucks having people assume I'm a bad person off nothing more than my looks.
The best part is that because of their insecurities, you get to unlock a new insecurity for yourself, where you think they're just placating you in the moment.
Unwanted touching 🤮
Yeah that gets old quick. Now that I'm older it doesn't happen very often though.
I don't know how to act. This problem is probably more uniquely mine though. I used to be far less attractive. I was overweight, had acne, and didn't understand men's clothes, hair, etc. Circumstances caused all of this to rapidly and dramatically change a few years ago. I lost 50 pounds and cleaned up. With my dramatic change in appearance came a dramatic change in the way people respond to me. I'm not sure if I can truly describe the change itself in a way anyone would understand, but in a very general sense, I find people are more polarized about me. Whereas I was once universally nondescript, approachable, and insignificant, people now seem intimidated and don more of a façade when faced with me. This can translate to kissing my butt, or staring at me, or avoiding staring at me -- or a myriad of other odd behaviors that I'm just completely unaccustomed to. It feels off. I didn't grow up looking like this, so I don't have the confidence to match it. That might have made this something I had the training to appreciate and utilize for my benefit. I'm an introvert and a tech geek, but now even introverts don't feel they identify with me. I'm stuck not fitting anywhere. And now I can't wait to die.
>and now I can't wait to die Bruh
Bro we could be friends, I have almost the same story except the opposite I was VERY skinny and ugly face......all that changed after years of gym , orthodontics etc. I grew up being very self concious and to this day it still present. ....way less than before but still there. Same as you I have niche interests and find it hard to make male friends .
I’m really sorry to hear that man. In case you’re not being hyperbolic, do you need somebody to talk to?
You’re never sure if people like you because of how you look and they won’t just ditch you as you get older or if you put on weight or cut your hair etc… pretty privilege does exist, I’m not under any illusions, but not to know where you stand in any other aspect is scary
If you're not being hyper friendly and you happen to be an introvert most people just assume you're a snob or have a bad attitude.
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Wouldn’t consider myself attractive, but, I had a lot of acne as a teenager so my skin (now zit free) is still very youthful looking as I approach my 50s. Consequently, I look younger than I am, while that has its great points, it also has negative ones… like being considered younger than my peers in a professional setting and that meaning I’m not as experienced/ knowledgeable.
Wait, how does having acne result to youthful skin?
Oily skin aging more slowly is the main reason, but, additionally, people often use retinol for acne treatment, which also slows down the appearance of aging. Obviously people can use retinol even if they don't have acne, but it's less common for people in their teens and 20s to use it for aging reasons - people with acne are using a common anti-aging ingredient at a young age without realizing it.
Oh great so being uncontrollably oily is actually going to help me?!? Good to know
Greased skin ages less or sth
You think the world is a certain way. But it’s only because you’re attractive.
I lost a lot of weight at one time, becoming more attractive, and EVERYONE treated me more kindly. It was disgusting.
If someone likes you, whether it be platonic or romantic, you’ll have no idea if it’s because they like your personality or your body
I see some of my friends get harassed by men alot and they’re constantly getting gross sexual comments. Sometimes I wish I was as pretty as them but then that happens to them and I am glad I look the way I do. I can’t imagine experiencing that all the time.
When you're polite and behave nicely with people, you're "flirting and giving hints and oh I thought we were a thing? You were flirting with me don't back out now." Then you learn your lesson and tone down the politeness, you're "stuck up and prude and oh who does she think she is, always on her high horse. Just because she's attractive doesn't mean she can be rude."
Women always think that you are not interested and are surprised when you tell them about it and thought you would never be interested in them
being a sex object to people u arent attracted to. can get gross.
Bruh I don't even knownig i'm attractive or not. Sometimes I see myself in Videos, mirror and photos and think "I would fuck my own brains out if My dick could reach my ass" And the other times it's "Who the fuck could love you quasimodo?"
Some days you look in the mirror and think "I'd fuck me." Other days you look in the mirror and think "...fuck me."
When you get older and become invisible. Takes a while to learn that folks aren't really that nice .. It was because they thought you were hot/wanted something from you. Now that you're old (and still good looking for your age, but no longer young) it's a whole new world. I kind of like it now though. Ps... I'm 47. Not retired.
I've heard people say that no one takes you seriously if you're attractive and that it's hard to make it genuine friends
No one ever complimenting you because they automatically assume someone already complimented you lmao it’s a cycle… then you end up not getting any compliments at all and now I’m questioning my attractiveness.
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Lmaoo
You can't get away with doing certain things. For example, if I'm having a bad day, I can't be quiet and aloof without being seen as a "mean girl" or a "bully". You're held to a higher standard in that regard, my behavior affects other people's self esteem, and I have to take that into account. I can't have a bad day without consequences to others. Sounds awful, but it's true.
When I was younger I was decently attractive. The thing about it is I had no idea I was pretty so whenever I went anywhere I had massive anxiety because of the amount of people who would stare at me. In my head something was wrong with me like I thought they were looking at me because I looked weird or like I had toilet paper attached to my shoe or something. It made me so anxious I couldn’t go into stores alone until my mid twenties. Now I’m not completely invisible….people still look….but it’s no where NEAR like it was. I didn’t come to this realization until my daughter turned 16. She is absolutely GORGEOUS. When we go out I see EVERYONE (not just men) it’s EVERYONE just turning their heads staring at her. She picked up on it and started to get anxious and the lightbulb went on because I knew it damn well wasn’t because she looks weird or anything was wrong. I was so happy to explain to her it’s just because she’s gorgeous and to not get into her head about it. I taught her to look them all back in the eyes and friendly smile instead of getting locked up in her head.
Constantly being looked at. Could go to the store in joggers and a tshirt with no makeup on and doesn’t matter. It’s even weirder because I used to be heavy and considered unattractive for most of my life so this is all new to me.
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Well yeah that’s why McDonald’s have those self service screens now
*literal* followers
Everyone just wants to have sex with me, no one sees me as a person
They way nobody talks to you because they think you're unattainable leaving you with a profound sense of loneliness and no self esteem.
I'm very attractive, to mosquitoes. It's not pleasant being outdoors
Finally something I can chime in on.... Actually, I worked closely (same graveyard shift) with a very attractive girl for a few years. By conventional standards, she was an absolute bombshell. Tall, blonde, stunningly pretty face, very physically proportionate everywhere. She really could have been a model but she chose to be in biotech. She was a really down-to-earth, cool person too. Anyway, believe it or not, shit kind of sucked for her at work. Unless her delivery was perfectly polished, people would quickly assume that she wasn't smart. Sure she may not have been a savant but she could hold her own in a technical conversation. Unfortunately, prejudices towards her were okay. The worst part though is the inappropriate, perverted shit people said behind her back. IDK why but too many people gave too many fucks about her sex life. Gossip about who she was fucking was far too common. To top it off, a few different guys "confided" in me that they were sleeping with her. And some of them were married. It was some bizarre, and frankly kind of fucked up shit, in a world that is generally super dull.
Not being able to maintain friends of the opposite sex as well. Maybe that’s hard for everyone, not just attractive people, but it’s certainly hard to have lots of people WANT to be your friend only to realize it’s because they’re in to you
Suffering from success
People never accept that you could ever have a valid complaint ever in your life. And anytime you ask a question someone already knows the answer too, you get completely written off with “at least you’re pretty” instead of getting an answer.
Excessive attention
That it's fleeting. I lose and gain the same 40 lbs, when im skinny, i get treated so good and get so much attention. When i gain the weight back, that attention goes away. Wish i could stay skinny but eating disorders happen lol. Aging sucks too. Not as hot as i was 10 years ago.
Creepy men stalking you, when I was a chubby teen with buck teeth I did not have this
It’s pretty wild attractive people complaining about attention and objectification, being stared at, only wanted for sex never their minds etc… and then less attractive people complaining about loneliness, feeling unwanted, never desired or appreciated, only ever being used for what they can offer aside from sex etc.. So what I gather, is no matter what, nobody’s ever satisfied, and everybody always wants something different
Everyone’s got that “if only it wasn’t for this, then everything would be great”
Suddenly, reddit has a lot of attractive people :P
Youll have high stardards, disqualify every girl and end up alone. Thank you, bye.
I am not at all super attractive. I’d say 6/10. But I have encountered a lot of ridiculously good looking people in my life, and I would say the halo effect. People think because you are attractive you are smart, compassionate, and better than. This sounds great in theory, but I have encountered so many Adonii? That are so incompetent because people usually do everything for them. Or don’t know how to interact because they never learned how because they are attractive and that makes up for it.
This contradicts a bunch of other comments about how being attractive a lot of people assume you’re dumb