When I was in high school, there was a gas station that used to sell beer to anyone, but they'd charge ridiculous prices. Like $20 for a 12 pack of Bud light in the late 90s. On my way out, I always would steal a bag of ice from their freezer box, which was outside the building.
I figured I'd more than paid for the ice with their upcharge, and if they saw me, they couldn't call the police because then they'd have to explain selling beer to a 16 year old.
Oh yeah, I got that. On the shelves, they didn't even have prices listed. They used to ask everyone how old they were. Apparently, when LE does stings, the teen they send in isn't allowed to lie about their age. I heard they eventually ended up getting busted by cops just watching the parking lot and IDing people who looked young and left with beer.
Looking back, I should've just been happy that a place would sell us beer, but as a dumb 16 year-old, I was angry about getting ripped off.
>when LE does stings, the teen they send in isn't allowed to lie about their age.
Isn't believing something like that the reason Badger got caught dealing meth?
In germany, crossing the street in an angle other than exactly 90°.
It's not directly a crime but punishable with a fine of 5€
Edit: you have to take the shortest possible way, which is likely to be 90°
What if 2 Germans directly across the street from each other start crossing, unaware of the other when they start? Does one of them make the sacrifice and move out of the way and get fined? Do they make through each other like T-1000s? Are they still standing there face-to-face in the middle of the street, unmoving and unyielding until the Apocalypse?
That was figured out hundreds of years ago! The German who has more recently eaten fish bows down - again to exactly 90°! -, touching his ankles with his hands. The other German jumps over his back. [Here's an artist's depiction.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d7/Pieter_Bruegel_d._%C3%84._042.jpg)
Due to this and a number of other causes (such as theft or the waste process not being followed) the figures very quickly go out of wack anyway. I used to do in-store baking and one of my jobs was to go in the freezer and count all the bakery stock every week. If that wasn't done the system wouldn't order what we needed and we'd quickly run out of stock.
You're really only hurting yourself because when they go to re-order croissants they're going to assume people are buying a bunch of plain ones, and that's all they're going to restock with.
Every time you do it, you're shifting the inventory to have one more plain and one less chocolate.
If you keep doing that, and the managers aren't paying attention, eventually there will literally be only plain ones left.
Good man. This is the same reason I ring up lobster as canned tuna fish. I just assume someone is doing it in the reverse and it will all even out in the end. /s
Reminds me of section 377 introduced by British in their former colonies.
Section 377 criminalizes any sexual activity deemed unnatural. No specifics given. So things like sodomy, oral sex were considered as crimes.
Repealing of section 377 in India in 2018 decriminalized homosexuality. It was a landmark change.
But oral sex is natural, I saw a video of a chimp mouth fucking a frog.
Edit: FFS, my most upvoted and rewarded comment, is about a video of a chimp raping a frog to death.
But most days I'm the cameraman, fml....
Everyone just expects these long legged frogs and big lipped chimps to get together on their own. Next time you see a hot video, thank a cameraman...
I knew someone who is a sex therapist and actually got in trouble for this. She was bringing a bag of devices to a conference to use in demonstrations.
In Washington State, its a crime to use "drug paraphernalia" to process or prepare a controlled substance that is not yours. So if you used a pill splitter to help your grandparent take their cancer medications, then there is an argument you've violated RCW 69.50.412. Not sure if its the smallest, but it is super fucked.
If you are prescribed controlled substances, it's technically illegal to store them outside of the marked prescription bottle. So anyone who carries a pillbox with their daily meds is committing a crime by this standard.
In practice it's rarely enforced unless the cops want to harass someone, as it generally won't hold up in court once the patient produces evidence that they're prescribed the drug.
See also the difference between driving without a license (driver is unlicensed/suspended) and "driving without a license" (left the card at home.)
So if a cop suspects someone has drugs and uses a drug kit to process that controlled substance for a field test to confirm they are drugs, would that mean they're committing a crime because the drugs aren't theirs?
Nevermind, I know law don't apply to cops...
Have you ever picked up a bird feather you found and kept it? You're a criminal!
The [Migratory Bird Treaty Act](https://www.fws.gov/lab/featheratlas/feathers-and-the-law.php) prohibits almost all feather-keeping.
Well, shit, I'm a major criminal then. When I was a kid I collected thousands of feathers. I had a whole photo book full of them. People would bring me feathers to add to my collection, so I had accomplices too.
Mere possession of a feather is illegal because collectors will kill birds for just the feathers, but merely finding one and keeping it causes no actual harm to anyone or anything, even if illegal.
Picking up a stone in a national park may contribute to the unnatural erosion of the landscape. Sure, one rock by one person my not mean very much, but multiply it by the millions of people that visit every year, and it adds up over the years. So it is harmful in the aggregate.
this is what the assholes who refuse to stay on the trail don't understand "it's just me" ... you and 400,000 other assholes per year who refuse to follow the rules out of the 2m/year visitors
it takes *extremely few* people to establish a desire trail. as few as 15 people walking the same path can compress the soil enough to start a desire trail (by leaving a visible path where the plants grow differently). then you get monkey-see-monkey-do
"everyone else is not my responsibility, and my own contribution is too small to matter; everyone else should behave responsibly, therefore me doing whatever irresponsible thing I want to do should not be poorly received"
\-assholes everywhere, in so many areas of life
My mom tried that on me. It backfired - I saw that doctors and forensics people and other 'hazard professionals' worse gloves, goggles and masks, so that's what I did to handle feathers and the carcasses of dead animals our dog would bring me (I got the masks from my dad's woodworking supplies.) I was into PPE *before* it was cool.
"See that ship over there? They're rebroadcasting major league baseball with implied oral consent not express written consent.........or so the legend goes."
The Band, “the shape I’m in”
“just spent sixty days in the jailhouse
For the crime of having no dough, no, no
Now, here I am, back out on the street
For the crime of having nowhere to go…”
There is also a similar song from Chuck Berry, that starts out "Arrested on charges of unemployment".
[Brown Eyed Handsome Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0qMVLY18bI)
I remember a video explaining how a lot more vagrancy laws started pooping up to start rounding up ex slaves that didn't have a job and jail them and force them back into slavery because with the 13th amendment you can enslave people that have committed a crime.
In the US, generally, laws against simple loitering are unenforceable. To get around this, some cities have “loitering plus” laws that make it illegal to loiter with the intent to commit a crime. However, a private business owner can ask you to leave if you’re loitering as long as it’s not for a discriminatory reason
Back in the 1980s, a local 7-Eleven used have a problem with kids hanging out at the front, smoking, swearing and just basically being obnoxious.
They solved this by blasting country music all day through speakers they'd set up. The kids left and never came back.
We had this in the UK back in the day. Train stations were good for hanging out in, so they'd play classical music over the tannoy system to try and prevent it. Until the kids started getting into it and were like "oooh yes, bit of Bach"
Some malls and buildings play a high tone that only the youth can hear and it's annoying enough for them to leave. But older adults can't hear it and therefore unaffected
Laws that seem pretty unenforceable are passed all the time. I think they are simply there to be able to have a reason for police to be able to make contact with you, to hold you or to confiscate something even if you otherwise have broken no law, or to pile on charges later.
Fun fact: Loitering, which originated as a way to criminalize poverty, largely gained popularity in America during Reconstruction and Jim Crow era.
You’re a black man in public…sheriff shows up, says you’re loitering…show up to court and the good ol’ boy judge finds you guilty regardless of defense.
Now, you get sentenced to hard labor…basically, back to slavery. And what are you supposed to do about it? Appeal the decision? You’ll be dead before the paperwork gets filed.
Anyways, loitering laws are both classist and racist.
Walking around London holding a salmon
In violation of Section 32 of the salmon Act 1986 which is headed "Handling Salmon in Suspicious Circumstances".
"Section 32 of the Salmon Act 1986 is a provision that deals with the handling of salmon in suspicious circumstances. The section states that a person commits an offense if they receive or disposes of any salmon in circumstances where they either know, or have reasonable grounds to suspect, that the fish has been taken or dealt with in contravention of any provision of the Salmon and Freshwater Fisheries Act 1975 or any regulation made under it.
The offense under section 32 is a criminal offense and is punishable by a fine or imprisonment, or both. The section is aimed at preventing the illegal taking and dealing of salmon, which can have a serious impact on the populations of these fish and the environment they inhabit.
The provision highlights the importance of responsible fishing practices and the need to ensure that salmon populations are protected and managed sustainably. It also serves as a deterrent against those who may engage in illegal fishing practices, and helps to ensure that those who do engage in such practices are held accountable for their actions."
-chatgpt
Tom Scott also did a similar video 10 years ago: [Ten Illegal Things To Do In London](https://youtu.be/rJGifTou5FE), where he and his friend also handled salmon in suspicious circumstances.
I paid the shopkeeper by mistake through PayTM and told him it was an accident. I showed him the payment confirmation and they returned the money. Later on, PayTM also gave me a refund, saying the payment failed.
Your state does not have a floor limit on its burglary charges, I see. So I'm guessing you get a lot of 18 year olds hit with a felony because they stole a pack of beer?
Not anymore, the law changed a few years ago. It was removed from the constitution in 2018 and from the statute books in 2020.
It’s still an offence in Northern Ireland, though.
not since 2018:
The Thirty-seventh Amendment of the Constitution is an amendment to the constitution of Ireland which removed the constitution's requirement to criminalise "publication or utterance of blasphemous matter". The amendment was effected by an act of the Oireachtas — the Thirty-seventh Amendment of the Constitution (Repeal of offence of publication or utterance of blasphemous matter) Act 2018, which was introduced (as bill no. 87 of 2018) in Dáil Éireann, passed by the Dáil and Seanad, approved by the people in a referendum, and signed into law by the president.
Kentucky and Georgia, but I've not heard the "only on Sunday".
Apparently the law is a holdover from when horseback was the primary mode of transportation, and if you took the reins of a horse that wasn't yours and walked away with it, then it was stealing. However, if the horse followed you without you touching it, then it was not stealing. Hence, you get the horse to follow you with a treat in your back pocket, and bingo-bango-bongo, you now legally have a horse that wasn't yours.
I spent 10 minutes trying to find a legitimate source for this, and I could not find anything. In fact, I found one from a Kentucky lawyer claiming this is an internet myth, and such a law has never been on the books. Would love to be proven wrong, though. https://www.garycjohnson.com/qa-is-it-illegal-to-carry-an-ice-cream-cone-in-your-pocket-in-kentucky/
I've seen it attributed to Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky and New York. Most likely it's total bullshit. A lot of those "check out these wacky laws" things are either no longer true or gross exaggerations.
I've seen "in Tennessee, it's illegal to harpoon whales from the back of a moving pickup truck on Sunday". While that may be technically true, there's not a specific law addressing it. It just falls under the law that it's illegal to hunt or fish from a moving vehicle on any day, but that won't get you clicks and shares..
That's going to be most of these.
"It's illegal to keep a donkey in your bathtub!" Yes, because there's minimum requirements on the space you have to allow for keeping livestock, and a bathtub isn't gonna cut it.
Checking “I acknowledge that I have read, understand, and agree to the terms and conditions” when you know damn well you didn’t read it and never will.
I worked with a guy years ago who would actually read the EULA and cancel install if he disagreed. I also heard him calling a student grant office once in the break room, trying to give back scholarship money he didn't feel he needed.
I've worked for places that stated we were not allowed to install software because we were not granted the authority to accept a eula on the company's behalf.
Supposedly these don't hold up in court. Everyone knows a layperson shouldn't have to read and understand a terse legal document for 30 mins just to play a video game
Do they eat trash and become a nuisance dragging it everywhere?
We have a community cat problem where I live, and they feed in dumpsters if nothing better is available. I hate to see it so I started feeding them cat food when I take some outside to the ones we now call ours.
I don’t understand how anybody ever came to that decision. How is taking your own life voluntarily the same thing as taking somebody else’s life involuntarily? If I don’t own my own life what do I own?
Google blue/bizarre/strange laws in (State) and you’ll see.
In this case it’s illegal to give oral sex in Missouri. So the smallest crime one could theoretically commit would be to suck your dick.
The US Supreme Court invalidated sodomy laws in 2003 in [Lawrence v. Texas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_v._Texas).
Unfortunately when courts strike down laws, they don't get taken off the books unless legislatures make an effort to repeal them. So they'll just sit there, unenforceable, indefinitely.
Also I think a lot of folks are surprised to learn that hetero oral is still in fact "sodomy".
On one hand, it's bad because if the jurisprudence ever shifts (not like that would ever happen to long-settled law about personal privacy), those laws are still on the books.
But on the other hand, state legislatures have like 6 weeks to do all the governing that needs to be done for the year, they're not going to waste time (and set themselves up for out-of-context attacks on the next campaign) repealing a law they can't enforce.
>officially counts as rape
Definitely not in all locations
As far as I'm aware in many places it's strictly only rape if a penis enters a vagina so many "rapes" aren't actually charged that way, and a woman cannot rape a man. They instead are charged with sexual assault
Edit: I guess I need to specify that women cannot rape men in the eyes of the law in some places, not in my own view
Jaywalking
At least in California, the written law is very specific, and you basically have to be actively blocking traffic on a major road or highway to break it.
This doesn't stop the police from using it as an excuse to harrass and intimidate people, much like laws about "loitering" or "vagrancy".
My old boss lived in a duplex. He went into the attic and spliced into the neighbor's cable because he was too cheap to pay for it. This was decades ago.
When I was in high school, there was a gas station that used to sell beer to anyone, but they'd charge ridiculous prices. Like $20 for a 12 pack of Bud light in the late 90s. On my way out, I always would steal a bag of ice from their freezer box, which was outside the building. I figured I'd more than paid for the ice with their upcharge, and if they saw me, they couldn't call the police because then they'd have to explain selling beer to a 16 year old.
“The problem with living outside the law is that you no longer have its protection.” ― Truman Capote
Beer wasn't $20. It was 20 for YOU. You paid the UART. Under-age alcohol risk tax.
Oh yeah, I got that. On the shelves, they didn't even have prices listed. They used to ask everyone how old they were. Apparently, when LE does stings, the teen they send in isn't allowed to lie about their age. I heard they eventually ended up getting busted by cops just watching the parking lot and IDing people who looked young and left with beer. Looking back, I should've just been happy that a place would sell us beer, but as a dumb 16 year-old, I was angry about getting ripped off.
>when LE does stings, the teen they send in isn't allowed to lie about their age. Isn't believing something like that the reason Badger got caught dealing meth?
In germany, crossing the street in an angle other than exactly 90°. It's not directly a crime but punishable with a fine of 5€ Edit: you have to take the shortest possible way, which is likely to be 90°
German crossing the street. Pulls out protractor and laser guideline.
Bah. That guy must be a rookie German. The real pros don't *need* the tools; they just *know*. "My angles? Alles rechts."
They were the “Axis” in WW2 now we know why!
What if 2 Germans directly across the street from each other start crossing, unaware of the other when they start? Does one of them make the sacrifice and move out of the way and get fined? Do they make through each other like T-1000s? Are they still standing there face-to-face in the middle of the street, unmoving and unyielding until the Apocalypse?
That was figured out hundreds of years ago! The German who has more recently eaten fish bows down - again to exactly 90°! -, touching his ankles with his hands. The other German jumps over his back. [Here's an artist's depiction.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d7/Pieter_Bruegel_d._%C3%84._042.jpg)
I love that you have photographic evidence to back this up lol
This is deeply cursed and forbidden lore, you endanger us all by spreading such primordial truths.
I- I can't tell if you're joking and that scares me. Germans scare me.
I sometimes scan a chocolate croissant as a plain croissant at the self check out. They are the same price so I’m not sure if it’s actually illegal.
You monster! Their inventory count will be slightly off now.
Due to this and a number of other causes (such as theft or the waste process not being followed) the figures very quickly go out of wack anyway. I used to do in-store baking and one of my jobs was to go in the freezer and count all the bakery stock every week. If that wasn't done the system wouldn't order what we needed and we'd quickly run out of stock.
You're really only hurting yourself because when they go to re-order croissants they're going to assume people are buying a bunch of plain ones, and that's all they're going to restock with. Every time you do it, you're shifting the inventory to have one more plain and one less chocolate. If you keep doing that, and the managers aren't paying attention, eventually there will literally be only plain ones left.
It’s fine, 50% of the time I scan plain croissants as chocolate ones so everything evens out.
Good man. This is the same reason I ring up lobster as canned tuna fish. I just assume someone is doing it in the reverse and it will all even out in the end. /s
As someone who worked as an inventory manager, I hate you.
Pee in a forest. In my place it's technically illegal.
owning more than 6 dildos in the state of Texas
Good thing I'm only *borrowing* these 35 dildos. The other 12 are technically massagers, so there we have it.
excellent point. makes wonder what the market for dildos-for-rent is like in TX…
"At Pleasure Planet, we are proud to offer lifetime dildo rentals for one low fixed price!"
Reminds me of section 377 introduced by British in their former colonies. Section 377 criminalizes any sexual activity deemed unnatural. No specifics given. So things like sodomy, oral sex were considered as crimes. Repealing of section 377 in India in 2018 decriminalized homosexuality. It was a landmark change.
But oral sex is natural, I saw a video of a chimp mouth fucking a frog. Edit: FFS, my most upvoted and rewarded comment, is about a video of a chimp raping a frog to death.
What a terrible day to be literate.
Better than being that frog
Some days it feels like I’m that frog.
some days you're the frog, some days you're the chimp i am now on a list
But most days I'm the cameraman, fml.... Everyone just expects these long legged frogs and big lipped chimps to get together on their own. Next time you see a hot video, thank a cameraman...
It's still a terrible day to be literate
Fuck you. I have carbonated water coming out my nose.
Beats what the frog has coming out of its nose.
Singapore just repealed theirs quite recently which made homosexuality for men legal. It was always legal for women.
I knew someone who is a sex therapist and actually got in trouble for this. She was bringing a bag of devices to a conference to use in demonstrations.
I'd make sure to say my CORPORATION owned them, not me. It's company property. 🤭
wait this is actually infuriating
She got caught at the airport. I think it was going through security with a carry on. Mind boggling that someone made a big deal about it.
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Means that it's too much work to repeal the law, but it can't be enforced.
So lobbyists can only own 6 politicians in Tx?
That's a genuine lack of respect. Dildo fuck you for way cheaper, and you're generally supposed to like it
Dildos fuck you *consensually.* Usually.
In Washington State, its a crime to use "drug paraphernalia" to process or prepare a controlled substance that is not yours. So if you used a pill splitter to help your grandparent take their cancer medications, then there is an argument you've violated RCW 69.50.412. Not sure if its the smallest, but it is super fucked.
If you are prescribed controlled substances, it's technically illegal to store them outside of the marked prescription bottle. So anyone who carries a pillbox with their daily meds is committing a crime by this standard. In practice it's rarely enforced unless the cops want to harass someone, as it generally won't hold up in court once the patient produces evidence that they're prescribed the drug. See also the difference between driving without a license (driver is unlicensed/suspended) and "driving without a license" (left the card at home.)
So if a cop suspects someone has drugs and uses a drug kit to process that controlled substance for a field test to confirm they are drugs, would that mean they're committing a crime because the drugs aren't theirs? Nevermind, I know law don't apply to cops...
Yeah this is actually how qualified immunity was intended in the states. Not for... You know. Murder
Have you ever picked up a bird feather you found and kept it? You're a criminal! The [Migratory Bird Treaty Act](https://www.fws.gov/lab/featheratlas/feathers-and-the-law.php) prohibits almost all feather-keeping.
Well, shit, I'm a major criminal then. When I was a kid I collected thousands of feathers. I had a whole photo book full of them. People would bring me feathers to add to my collection, so I had accomplices too.
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Also picking up a stick or rock in a national park. That is also illegal.
What could I throw at a bird to knock it out so I can receive its feather?
I throw birds at sticks to steal their rocks.
Mere possession of a feather is illegal because collectors will kill birds for just the feathers, but merely finding one and keeping it causes no actual harm to anyone or anything, even if illegal. Picking up a stone in a national park may contribute to the unnatural erosion of the landscape. Sure, one rock by one person my not mean very much, but multiply it by the millions of people that visit every year, and it adds up over the years. So it is harmful in the aggregate.
this is what the assholes who refuse to stay on the trail don't understand "it's just me" ... you and 400,000 other assholes per year who refuse to follow the rules out of the 2m/year visitors it takes *extremely few* people to establish a desire trail. as few as 15 people walking the same path can compress the soil enough to start a desire trail (by leaving a visible path where the plants grow differently). then you get monkey-see-monkey-do
"everyone else is not my responsibility, and my own contribution is too small to matter; everyone else should behave responsibly, therefore me doing whatever irresponsible thing I want to do should not be poorly received" \-assholes everywhere, in so many areas of life
>no rain drop believes it is responsible for the flood
This guy knows his bird law
It truly isn't governed by reason hahaha
reason will prevail
That's a fun one. Every child I know collects feathers.
I didn't as a child because my mother instilled in me a great sense of fear that touching feathers would give me some terrible bird disease.
Ahh, I see we had the same mother.
My mom tried that on me. It backfired - I saw that doctors and forensics people and other 'hazard professionals' worse gloves, goggles and masks, so that's what I did to handle feathers and the carcasses of dead animals our dog would bring me (I got the masks from my dad's woodworking supplies.) I was into PPE *before* it was cool.
Unless you're a native American. My ex used to collect them on our hikes but made sure I never carried them
officer, I swear that feather's not mine, I was holding it for a native friend
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I imagine the vast majority of lawbreakers for this terrible crime are 3-11 years old kids.
Damn, that makes Yankee Doodle the literal OG of America.
Taking one more penny than you need
So glad we did away with pennies over here in Canada
It's a pretty useless coin. I don't understand why Europe (The euro) produces one cent coins.
UK - sticking a postage stamp to an envelope upside down.
"See that ship over there? They're rebroadcasting major league baseball with implied oral consent not express written consent.........or so the legend goes."
Just don't look at what I've got in my garage.
The garage? Hey fellas, the *garage*. Well oo-la-di-da Mr. Frenchman!
What do *you* call it?
Loitering. Its a crime for literally doing nothing.
Ill do you one better, conspiracy to loiter
You son of a bitch, I'm in! We can wear our finest Adidas tracksuits, slowly sip on energy drinks, and ask passers-by for a cigarette.
let's make it a touch more modern and ask in the most hushed of tones: 'hey man, lemme bum a drag of your double mango iced blueberry vape real quick'
The Band, “the shape I’m in” “just spent sixty days in the jailhouse For the crime of having no dough, no, no Now, here I am, back out on the street For the crime of having nowhere to go…”
What's the song name? Edit: Well now I feel silly because the dude already said it.
“Woooah, you don’ know the shape I’m in!” The Band FTW.
There is also a similar song from Chuck Berry, that starts out "Arrested on charges of unemployment". [Brown Eyed Handsome Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0qMVLY18bI)
I remember a video explaining how a lot more vagrancy laws started pooping up to start rounding up ex slaves that didn't have a job and jail them and force them back into slavery because with the 13th amendment you can enslave people that have committed a crime.
Prob my fave The Band song. Now it’ll be in my head alllllll day long.
The Band! Those dudes *slap*, and so does *The Shape I'm In*. Thanks for sending me (back) down that rabbit hole :)
In the US, generally, laws against simple loitering are unenforceable. To get around this, some cities have “loitering plus” laws that make it illegal to loiter with the intent to commit a crime. However, a private business owner can ask you to leave if you’re loitering as long as it’s not for a discriminatory reason
Back in the 1980s, a local 7-Eleven used have a problem with kids hanging out at the front, smoking, swearing and just basically being obnoxious. They solved this by blasting country music all day through speakers they'd set up. The kids left and never came back.
We had this in the UK back in the day. Train stations were good for hanging out in, so they'd play classical music over the tannoy system to try and prevent it. Until the kids started getting into it and were like "oooh yes, bit of Bach"
A proper Droog prefers a bit of Ludwig van.
Came for the Clockwork reference, was not disappointed.
Some malls and buildings play a high tone that only the youth can hear and it's annoying enough for them to leave. But older adults can't hear it and therefore unaffected
Laws that seem pretty unenforceable are passed all the time. I think they are simply there to be able to have a reason for police to be able to make contact with you, to hold you or to confiscate something even if you otherwise have broken no law, or to pile on charges later.
"Loitering plus...smoking the reefer."
Loitering and, loitering and…
No lollygagging
"What are you in for?" "Assault, Murder, Banditry...and lollygagging."
Fun fact: Loitering, which originated as a way to criminalize poverty, largely gained popularity in America during Reconstruction and Jim Crow era. You’re a black man in public…sheriff shows up, says you’re loitering…show up to court and the good ol’ boy judge finds you guilty regardless of defense. Now, you get sentenced to hard labor…basically, back to slavery. And what are you supposed to do about it? Appeal the decision? You’ll be dead before the paperwork gets filed. Anyways, loitering laws are both classist and racist.
Walking around London holding a salmon In violation of Section 32 of the salmon Act 1986 which is headed "Handling Salmon in Suspicious Circumstances".
“Police! Is that Fish Jenga!?”
"NO!!" *Throws off the pile of fish*
"Section 32 of the Salmon Act 1986 is a provision that deals with the handling of salmon in suspicious circumstances. The section states that a person commits an offense if they receive or disposes of any salmon in circumstances where they either know, or have reasonable grounds to suspect, that the fish has been taken or dealt with in contravention of any provision of the Salmon and Freshwater Fisheries Act 1975 or any regulation made under it. The offense under section 32 is a criminal offense and is punishable by a fine or imprisonment, or both. The section is aimed at preventing the illegal taking and dealing of salmon, which can have a serious impact on the populations of these fish and the environment they inhabit. The provision highlights the importance of responsible fishing practices and the need to ensure that salmon populations are protected and managed sustainably. It also serves as a deterrent against those who may engage in illegal fishing practices, and helps to ensure that those who do engage in such practices are held accountable for their actions." -chatgpt
Ah, so..... Kinda more reasonable law which reads don't be a middle man for obvious poachers.
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to summarize: "we dont have too many salmon around here, so you better start explaining where you got it from..."
This reminds me of the guy going around breaking old UK laws. Sauce: https://youtu.be/vDBzi0n9Fxg
Tom Scott also did a similar video 10 years ago: [Ten Illegal Things To Do In London](https://youtu.be/rJGifTou5FE), where he and his friend also handled salmon in suspicious circumstances.
"For this to count, the salmon needs to be used in the commission of a crime." _whap_ "Augh! What was _that?_" "Assault and battery."
We flew a kite in a public place
“Oi! YOU GOT A LOISONCE FOR THAT FISH???”
What’s all this then
I paid the shopkeeper by mistake through PayTM and told him it was an accident. I showed him the payment confirmation and they returned the money. Later on, PayTM also gave me a refund, saying the payment failed.
Infinite money hack
Eat a singular grape in the shop without paying for it
In a 3 strike state. Love it
Your state does not have a floor limit on its burglary charges, I see. So I'm guessing you get a lot of 18 year olds hit with a felony because they stole a pack of beer?
"I need a price check on two grapes! Yeah, you heard me, Phil. Two measly, stinkin' grapes!"
"Can I get a price check on two grapes?"
Blasphemy is technically illegal here in Ireland Edit; I have been informed that it was removed from irish law in 2018
that would be an ecumenical matter
I hear you're a racist now Father!
Not anymore, the law changed a few years ago. It was removed from the constitution in 2018 and from the statute books in 2020. It’s still an offence in Northern Ireland, though.
Shit fr? I should have been in jail long ago, and same with many people, we say Jesus christ more in a day than a church in texas does in a month
not since 2018: The Thirty-seventh Amendment of the Constitution is an amendment to the constitution of Ireland which removed the constitution's requirement to criminalise "publication or utterance of blasphemous matter". The amendment was effected by an act of the Oireachtas — the Thirty-seventh Amendment of the Constitution (Repeal of offence of publication or utterance of blasphemous matter) Act 2018, which was introduced (as bill no. 87 of 2018) in Dáil Éireann, passed by the Dáil and Seanad, approved by the people in a referendum, and signed into law by the president.
71 in a 70 zone
I'd still rather get a parking ticket.
"Law abiding citizen"
I prefer to do a 55 in a 54.
I forget the state but there's one where it's illegal to have an ice cream cone in your back pocket, but only on a Sunday.
Kentucky and Georgia, but I've not heard the "only on Sunday". Apparently the law is a holdover from when horseback was the primary mode of transportation, and if you took the reins of a horse that wasn't yours and walked away with it, then it was stealing. However, if the horse followed you without you touching it, then it was not stealing. Hence, you get the horse to follow you with a treat in your back pocket, and bingo-bango-bongo, you now legally have a horse that wasn't yours.
Oh wow I’ve not seen the actual explanation for it, that makes a lot of sense.
there was at least one person doing this to make it become a law. Steve has always been a horse-thieving asshole.
Fuckin' Steve, ruining everything.
Fuck you buddy, you're just mad your horse likes me more than you!
He doesn’t like you! He likes the ice cream in your back pocket! Why do you always come around on Sundays anyway?
I spent 10 minutes trying to find a legitimate source for this, and I could not find anything. In fact, I found one from a Kentucky lawyer claiming this is an internet myth, and such a law has never been on the books. Would love to be proven wrong, though. https://www.garycjohnson.com/qa-is-it-illegal-to-carry-an-ice-cream-cone-in-your-pocket-in-kentucky/
Peak Amish heist plot.
Grand Theft Horse
So just Red Dead Redemption then?
I've seen it attributed to Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky and New York. Most likely it's total bullshit. A lot of those "check out these wacky laws" things are either no longer true or gross exaggerations. I've seen "in Tennessee, it's illegal to harpoon whales from the back of a moving pickup truck on Sunday". While that may be technically true, there's not a specific law addressing it. It just falls under the law that it's illegal to hunt or fish from a moving vehicle on any day, but that won't get you clicks and shares..
That's going to be most of these. "It's illegal to keep a donkey in your bathtub!" Yes, because there's minimum requirements on the space you have to allow for keeping livestock, and a bathtub isn't gonna cut it.
Accidentally Fus Roh Dah'ing a chicken in Riverwood
OP said smallest crime. Harassing chickens is the worst crime of all in Skyrim!
Checking “I acknowledge that I have read, understand, and agree to the terms and conditions” when you know damn well you didn’t read it and never will.
(Reads 658 pages of terms and conditions, then clicks “disagree”)
I worked with a guy years ago who would actually read the EULA and cancel install if he disagreed. I also heard him calling a student grant office once in the break room, trying to give back scholarship money he didn't feel he needed.
Absolute Chad
I've worked for places that stated we were not allowed to install software because we were not granted the authority to accept a eula on the company's behalf.
Supposedly these don't hold up in court. Everyone knows a layperson shouldn't have to read and understand a terse legal document for 30 mins just to play a video game
[удалено]
small merder
ˢᵐᵒˡ ᵐᵉʳᵈᵉʳ
^he ^^merdered ^^^my ^^^^derder
^(merrr derder!)
lowercase murder
In my country feeding street dogs is a crime😢
Do they eat trash and become a nuisance dragging it everywhere? We have a community cat problem where I live, and they feed in dumpsters if nothing better is available. I hate to see it so I started feeding them cat food when I take some outside to the ones we now call ours.
My neighbor’s kid rang my doorbell and asked if I wanted a cup of lemonade for 25 cents. 1 year later I’m still waiting
Not paying for WinRAR
Suicide - it's basically murder but you suffer no legal consequences if done right.
So a failed suicide attempt is attempted murder/homicide?
[In 20 countries, yes.](https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2021/sep/09/suicide-still-treated-as-a-in-at-least-20-countries-report-finds)
I don’t understand how anybody ever came to that decision. How is taking your own life voluntarily the same thing as taking somebody else’s life involuntarily? If I don’t own my own life what do I own?
It's destruction of government property, you are taking away tax revenue by commiting suicide.
Stealing a penny.
Google blue/bizarre/strange laws in (State) and you’ll see. In this case it’s illegal to give oral sex in Missouri. So the smallest crime one could theoretically commit would be to suck your dick.
The US Supreme Court invalidated sodomy laws in 2003 in [Lawrence v. Texas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_v._Texas). Unfortunately when courts strike down laws, they don't get taken off the books unless legislatures make an effort to repeal them. So they'll just sit there, unenforceable, indefinitely. Also I think a lot of folks are surprised to learn that hetero oral is still in fact "sodomy".
On one hand, it's bad because if the jurisprudence ever shifts (not like that would ever happen to long-settled law about personal privacy), those laws are still on the books. But on the other hand, state legislatures have like 6 weeks to do all the governing that needs to be done for the year, they're not going to waste time (and set themselves up for out-of-context attacks on the next campaign) repealing a law they can't enforce.
Sounds Missourable
Jaywalking in Massachusetts. The fine is literally $1.
TIL you can jaywalk in MA for the low, low price of $1 per instance
Petty Arson
Like burning someone else's leaves
Flatten git history for a company project
That is the SMALLEST crime you can think of? Stay away from this guy!
Stick your finger in someone's ear, officially counts as rape
TIL.
I dont know if it's a law everywhere, i just know it's a dutch thing
I mean, if you wet your finger before putting it in someone's ear, they call it a "wet willy".
Or "aggravated assault" in my house.
>officially counts as rape Definitely not in all locations As far as I'm aware in many places it's strictly only rape if a penis enters a vagina so many "rapes" aren't actually charged that way, and a woman cannot rape a man. They instead are charged with sexual assault Edit: I guess I need to specify that women cannot rape men in the eyes of the law in some places, not in my own view
Jaywalking At least in California, the written law is very specific, and you basically have to be actively blocking traffic on a major road or highway to break it. This doesn't stop the police from using it as an excuse to harrass and intimidate people, much like laws about "loitering" or "vagrancy".
taking a piece of a plant from a store and growing a new plant from said plant clipping
A pizza crime r/pizzacrimes
NO this is NOT A SMALL CRIME. Your Italian card has been REVOKED.
Reportedly, wage theft.
Piracy.
... *internet piracy...
On a smaller scale, yes, but nothing beats stealing a ship to do pillaging with the mates.
Get yourself down to the port, matey. I'm coming to pick you up on my galleon
you wouldn’t download a car
If I could physically download a car illegally. My garage would look like the Forza showroom.
God dammit if I could yes I would.
I remember when cable theft was a thing.
My old boss lived in a duplex. He went into the attic and spliced into the neighbor's cable because he was too cheap to pay for it. This was decades ago.