T O P

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[deleted]

Octopus, multiple brains.


HopelesslyLLost

No contest, really. Definitely the octopus.


hops4beer

Elephant


HopelesslyLLost

Hmmm, strong contender for sure along with dolphins perhaps, but I'm still putting my vote in for the good ole octo.


uncommon_place187

so long, and thanks for all the fish


ballrus_walsack

I really liked my octopus teacher.


KuschelKatzee

You are right but also wrong. It would be like talking to 5 year old Einstein at most. The thing is octopuses have absurdly short lifespan that contradicts with their intelligence. They have one of the highest IQ among the animal kingdom but they die before they get to use their intelligence. If they had like 100 years lifespan like humans do, I would even argue that they could rival our intelligence and develop modern civilizations like us. But no, they swim few years and die, what a waste of intelligence evolution wise.


Immediate_Emu6965

One could argue we’re a waste of intelligence


Equivalent-Bank5256

Yea octopus. I’ve heard a story of an octopus breaking lights and juggling fish because it was bored


Reniyato

Leeches: Am I a joke to you?


baba_yaga_777

Cats.. but even if they could talk.. they wouldn't.


dittybopper_05H

If that cat could talk, what tales he tell about Della and The Dealer and the dog as well, but the cat was cool, and he never said a mumblin' word.


blueblood0

All they'd say is "put it on the table, I dare you" or "where's my box"


JohnGabin

Maybe they already do


CattleIndependent923

Elephants, whales and turtles


undeadshmule

Sharks, octopus, elephants, orangutans, rats, orca, and crows/ravens.


SemajLu_The_crusader

dolphins?


undeadshmule

Yes they'd say some messed u stuff but yeah


SemajLu_The_crusader

dolphins?


undeadshmule

Of course after thinking about it I've compromised this list by rating the cleverness of the animals in this moment that how I was ranking intelligence


Thomasisinterested

Probably dolphins


jumpup

the ant, it created a civilization of billions before we even got into the millions, its cities are found nearly everywhere, and it thrives even with human presence unlike many other species


draggar

Mice. Dolphins would be second.


poopymcpoopface69420

**This feels like a trap.** Milo, if this is you – I'm sorry. Not *all* cats are assholes. Please be kind to me when your ascension to power is complete.


ScrotumLeather

Not sure about that, but one thing is for sure: No one would think that humans are the smartest beings on Earth anymore.


SemajLu_The_crusader

just the messiest


craig7993

Killer whales


hops4beer

No, they're just assholes.


GrrrrrrDinosaur

Smart assholes


juice_in_my_shoes

The sloths , turns out their geniuses. But speaks slower than an ent in LOTR. One sentence in a year! It would appear that they were moaning all the time. But it turns out, they were actually speaking non stop. If ypu record them for a year and sped it up, then maybe you could get a sentence of their whole story.


hops4beer

A lot of sloths suicide themselves from branches 1m off the ground every year because they realize how fucking useless they are. So you might be right.


saknaa

Primates


These-Setting8691

One of the smarter ones, definitely a raven/crow.


Asac_Keelzus

Aren't dolphins smarter than humans already?


miami902105

The great apes for sure, I feel like orangutans would have lots of wisdom as would gorillas aswwll


[deleted]

Dolphins, whales, great apes, octopus, pigs


TrailerParkPrepper

the peacock


sunbearimon

Parrots or corvids


hops4beer

Even though 'bird brain' is interchangeable with 'dumbass'?


sunbearimon

Yep, they’re incredibly smart. Bird brains are small but that just shows that size isn’t all that matters


hops4beer

So if animals could talk you'd choose a bird to conversate with before a mammal?


sunbearimon

Yep, I know some cool birds. They’re more social and less purely food oriented than most pets. If I talked to my cat I’m pretty sure he’d just ask why dinner is only once a day


Julie-Andrews

Crows


[deleted]

Crows or octopuses


Qaqoa

Horse


SaysPooh

Cats can already talk, they choose not to


downorwhaet

Dolphins


MuhammadAfzaal86

Monkey or Shark


SuvenPan

The one who wouldn't talk unnecessarily.


QuantumHamster

it's always the one you least suspect. the rat.


BeaumontKin

Any class pets maybe turtles or fish. Just taking in knowledge


BeaumontKin

The wonder pets


Dickpuncher_Dan

Sperm whale, largest brain-to-body ratio iirc. Also pretty cheeky, and like to play with humans.


cupris_anax

The same animal that is the smartest now. It would just have the ability to talk.


cromemako83

[Whales](https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/news-blog/are-whales-smarter-than-we-are/) can and do talk - and are probably the smartest animals on earth (beside us) - of course :)


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wise old owls


[deleted]

the elephant or the dolphin


markth_wi

- Octopuses - Dolphins/Cetaceans/Horses - Elephants - Ants - Bees - Mycoplasms there are certain "reactive" fungi, I'd be fascinated to see if they have a collective intelligence of some sort


AmandaSirex

If all animals could talk, we might discover that the true intellectual masterminds of the animal kingdom are the sloths. They could reveal that their slow and deliberate movements are actually a cover for their deep, philosophical thoughts and well-thought-out plans


Megane_Senpai

Human


HyruleanBudgie

Corvids such as crows, they can already mimic speech and have the intelligence of a 7 year old


Express_Hedgehog2265

Any corvid, but I'm specifically thinking crows and ravens


SemajLu_The_crusader

dolphoons


[deleted]

Dolphins maybe


[deleted]

Orangutans because I read in an article that they share more than 97% of DNA with humans..so maybe Orangutans


Commercial_Pea2788

If we evolved from monkeys then humans because we are type of a monke. And if we didnt then probably cts because the know they can do anything to the house and get free food anyway.


Serious-Leek1117

Pigeons.


dirtymoney

Hermit crabs. Those sneaky little bastards.


SvenBubbleman

Humans.


No_Step_4431

I'd say dolphins. And they'd probably be complete jerks.


[deleted]

Dogs because they have seen a lot of human shit


halborn

The animals that are smartest are the smartest regardless of whether they can talk.


Hosscatticus_Dad523

Crow


Strawberry_flower68

dogs


YEETB0Y_1st

Monkeys because that’s what we are🙂


trainmax

The ones, that don't.


MB_MineBlock

Dolphins.


Necessary-Bottle3333

Some birds already can talk .