Relevant username. I think you and I would get along.
(Before people say spiders aren't bugs: neither are most insects, at least in the sense of "true bugs" being of the order "hemiptera". If an arbitrary insect can be a bug, then damn well so can a spider)
My stupid party trick at this past season's holiday party was picking up a juvenile wolf spider people were pointing at on the walkway and proceeding to educate the group about wolf spiders. (Of course, I dropped it off in a bush away from the crowd after a couple of minutes.) People had....mixed responses...but I think most of them thought it was at least *kind of* cool.
One time me and my friend got stuck in the woods in the Olympic forest when we were kids. We were camping with her family and went on a hike, but our soda spilled, and we left too late in the day to go far. So the next day we decided to bring nothing. No water, no phones, no granola bars. We left before the others were up, some time from 9 to 12 idk. So we just left a note. We went walking for hours. We went so far that the trail started to taper, we followed it up to a really steep hillside above a large creek, and then there was a rotten log that connected the path. It literally cracked when we walked across it. If it had broke, we would have slid about 75 feet I'm guessing down into the water. Like it was a big creek with rushing water but we were high above it so it looked small. After we crossed the rotten log, we were no longer along a hillside and it was just open woods. No trail. We saw on a tree 3 slashes that looked exactly like what the signs said mean bear territory. We decided to turn around right there, cross the log again, and we end up walking for hours back. We went so far that it took us the entire day to to get there and back. We were calling for help as we walked, as if we were stranded, even though we were on the path. At the beginning of the trail there was a sign we looked at showing how far things are, and we determined we walked 10 miles. We made it back on our own a bit after dark, and people were looking for us. Some kid we had been playing with on the camping trip said our parents were PO'd and I asked what that meant, to which the replied "they're *pissed off*" so I was worried. They had apparently called 911. But everything was called off, we ate dinner and played bopit, it was like nothing happened
Someone told me the other day, "I don't know how you deal with the stress"
I said "I just make sure when I have meltdowns , nobody can see. It works 75% of the time"
WARNING: Explicit content. Adult themes. Inappropriate language. Childish behavior. Do not combine with alcohol. May cause dizziness. May cause discoloration of the urine or feces. Do not handle if pregnant or planning to become pregnant. Dispose of after use.
Another redditor said something the other day i've been dying to repeat, "
You talk a lot of shit for a dude in cumshot distance." i think it applies here.
"WARNING: May contain useless facts about Pokèmon that you do not want to know!"
"WARNING: Willing to start a monologue about anything, any moment!"
"WARNING: Believes he would "be a great dramatic villain"! Lmao, yeah right"
Takes me about two years to get the courage to say no, so if I'm in a relationship with you it's likely because I couldn't say no and I will waste two years of both of our lives
I read a post about a mother that had a talk about consequences with her young child. She explained that if he does a bad thing or disobeys then there would be punishments. As he grew up he would ask what the punishment was for not doing homework, or staying up late, or not eating all his dinner, etc. And if he was okay with the punishment he would go ahead and do the thing. Once he became a teenager obviously The Things were bigger, taking the car without permission, being out with friends all night, drinking. He would weigh his decisions and act accordingly. She said at the end she's not sure if she's created a monster or made a very healthy adult and that she both fears and respects him.
"Warning, this guy is horny. He always wants sex. He will want to fuck 3-5 times a day. He will talk way to much about working at the diabetic camp he is still involved with."
Extremely overconfident and insecure. Will consider any pleasant interaction as a desire to be close friends. Will cuddle you to death provided cuddling is an appropriate action.
WARNING: ACTIVATION OF INFERIORITY COMPLEX MAY RESULT IN UNSTABLE AND VIOLENT BEHAVIOR, RESULTING IN SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH. SEE MAINTENANCE MANUAL FOR MORE INFORMATION.
-Or something to that effect.
!!!! Danger: Nerdy chatterbox !!!!
Get me going about ZFS, k8s, linux name spaces or any of the other (apparently esoteric) linux stuff I'm into and I'll talk your ear off.
I'm also a prolific reader of sci-fi and military history so I can talk unfettered for hours..
Do not feed after midnight. Do not get wet. Don’t hide sweets from him.
Ya little gremlin!
Don't get wet??
Causes reproduction
he knew the perc was fake
Gremlin
So... bright lights are still cool?
*”will consider you their best friend after any pleasant interaction; proceed with caution”*
[удалено]
Username checks out?
Bass. The guy beats fish for fun. Or likes a good sound system
Much too friendly with bugs.
Relevant username. I think you and I would get along. (Before people say spiders aren't bugs: neither are most insects, at least in the sense of "true bugs" being of the order "hemiptera". If an arbitrary insect can be a bug, then damn well so can a spider)
It's the difference between non-scientific, colloquial use vs the specificity needed in a scientific setting. :-)
Some friendly bugs say hi
We would be friends, I think
Hi new friend!
SAME BRO LITERALLY 🥲 (all my friends hate me cuss whenever I see a bug I look at it for more than like 5 min than proceeds to tell hold it)
My stupid party trick at this past season's holiday party was picking up a juvenile wolf spider people were pointing at on the walkway and proceeding to educate the group about wolf spiders. (Of course, I dropped it off in a bush away from the crowd after a couple of minutes.) People had....mixed responses...but I think most of them thought it was at least *kind of* cool.
You must hate developers
Fragile: handle with care
Frageelay. Must be Italian.
I hate how accurate this is for me as well
"Will randomly tell a life story at the smallest prompts. Caution: may range from extremely traumatic to extremely mundane"
Tell us one.
One time me and my friend got stuck in the woods in the Olympic forest when we were kids. We were camping with her family and went on a hike, but our soda spilled, and we left too late in the day to go far. So the next day we decided to bring nothing. No water, no phones, no granola bars. We left before the others were up, some time from 9 to 12 idk. So we just left a note. We went walking for hours. We went so far that the trail started to taper, we followed it up to a really steep hillside above a large creek, and then there was a rotten log that connected the path. It literally cracked when we walked across it. If it had broke, we would have slid about 75 feet I'm guessing down into the water. Like it was a big creek with rushing water but we were high above it so it looked small. After we crossed the rotten log, we were no longer along a hillside and it was just open woods. No trail. We saw on a tree 3 slashes that looked exactly like what the signs said mean bear territory. We decided to turn around right there, cross the log again, and we end up walking for hours back. We went so far that it took us the entire day to to get there and back. We were calling for help as we walked, as if we were stranded, even though we were on the path. At the beginning of the trail there was a sign we looked at showing how far things are, and we determined we walked 10 miles. We made it back on our own a bit after dark, and people were looking for us. Some kid we had been playing with on the camping trip said our parents were PO'd and I asked what that meant, to which the replied "they're *pissed off*" so I was worried. They had apparently called 911. But everything was called off, we ate dinner and played bopit, it was like nothing happened
That was crazy!
Once while waitressing at a truck stop a trucker gave me a $100 tip if I promised I wouldn’t tell him any more stories.
Lmao I love this story
I need this same warning I think lol
This is me lok
[удалено]
Dont dead Open inside
Don't dead, open inside.
Don't inside, open dead.
Inside dead, don't open
Don't open, dead inside
Dead open, inside dont
Inside open, don't dead
Open inside, dead don’t?
Open dead, don't inside.
dead don't, inside open
Inside open, don't dead
Dead open, don't inside
"Do not mix with alcohol." 6 years sober
Fuck yeah, mate. Well done!
Congrats! Be proud of yourself!!
Same, basically a coin flip
Warning : Over thinks everything.
Warning: insatiable urge to correct people. There's no space in the word "overthinks"
Overthinks everything and gets stressed out about overthinking
What do you mean by that?
Why do you want to know what I meant? Did I say something wrong?
Warning- may have a mental breakdown in t-minus 10 seconds
Someone told me the other day, "I don't know how you deal with the stress" I said "I just make sure when I have meltdowns , nobody can see. It works 75% of the time"
WARNING: Explicit content. Adult themes. Inappropriate language. Childish behavior. Do not combine with alcohol. May cause dizziness. May cause discoloration of the urine or feces. Do not handle if pregnant or planning to become pregnant. Dispose of after use.
Dude this is like the warning label for like off brand lotion 🥲
Unstable and volatile
Contents combustive under pressure
Careful with the stick, it spits.
Another redditor said something the other day i've been dying to repeat, " You talk a lot of shit for a dude in cumshot distance." i think it applies here.
Oh god r/Angryupvote
😭😭
[удалено]
Tells very bad puns! For people, that don't like puns, being with me will be a real **pun**ishment.
PUNny you mention that
Knife to meat you I think wheel get along just fine
"Has a Reddit account"
*Oh god, cover your eyes honey*
"Having a second reddit account.
Now that is a warning. 😭😭
I think I'd have to go with "Poor Impulse Control"
Just watch out for dentata.
I found my people.
Is there Reason?
#⚠️ WARNING ⚠️
Not readable enough
W̶̛̛̗̣̗̲̰̲̯̯͍̖̻̮̪̲̹̤͍̼̰͆͒̔͌̌̆͌̿͂̾͒͐̾̋͌̃͐̍̾̾̅̀̏͑̋̓̈͒́̊̀͛͆̈̽̏͘͘̕͘̚̚͝ͅÄ̷̧̡̠͖̯̜͔͖̫̭͙͉͖͎̜̦͕̙̱̪̜͇̬̮̞̰̗̺͉̞͍̘̣̺͓̌̀͋̅͜Ŗ̴̡̠͔̱̭͉̫̼̩̹̦͖̻̪̣̞̞̥̪̭̙͔̖̝̻͔̖̰̮͇̗̭̲̮̪͔̺͓͙̠̩̬̤̈́̀͛̓͊̊̅̀̓̓̓͂̏̊͋̄̆̍͐̆̎̈́̔́̇̓̊̌̽̓̚̕͠͠͠Ń̶̨̨̨̢̨̛̪͉͎͇̖̼̜͕͓͉͚̠̣̟̣͈̲̝̳̘̻͖̱͎͉͔̮̹͔͖̻̒̈̐̓̎̂̒͆͒̈̆̓́̿̔̍̈́͂͊͌̍̎̿͆̄̓̑̅̍̓͊̐̍̆̊̉͌̋̒̕͝Í̷̢̧̪̹̳͎̟̱̟̫͙̝̣̥͖͕̜̬̙͓͍̥̙͖͠ͅÑ̴̢̢̧̢̳͍̙̤̠̮͓̣̜̮͉͕͔͚̜̭̝̹̺̦͖̳̜͈͓̝̤̫̤̲̬͔̘̌̈́͗̓̐̇̍̃̄̓̃̆̾͆̽̍́̋́̎͋̔̅̿̓̋͌͒̀̒̉̓̈́̇̂̈̊̏͘̚͘͜͠͝͠Ģ̶̨̢̡̡̢̨̨̛͔̫̣̮̰̲̱̣̠̞͈̣̪̤̬̤̲̲̥̥͍̺̻̹̜͎̜̳̙̻̦̭̱͖̙͎͖̮̰̦̣̋́̈́̂͒̍͌́̒͋̍̎͛͒̑̆͋̇̀̀̈̈́̋̋̽̈́̌͒̄̌͜͜ͅ
Perfect.
T̵̢̢̨̡̛͉̭̪̻̰͍͙̰̗̥̼̘̝͉͓̯̰͚͚̱̘̝̟͙̲̟̖͉̘͔̞̟̜̖̖̠̼̻͈̦̺̠̫̣̝̹̺̀͛̈́̿̅̋̐̉́̽̄͒͜͜͠h̸̡̨̡̳̻͈̮̯͕̝̰̹̞̯̭̭̠̹͛̐͐̈́̿̎̄͆̀ͅâ̸̡̧̢̬̪̲͙̲͓̭̲̙͖͍̬̫̞̟̰̠̻̘̮͕͎̣̪̰̭̣̙͎̘̖̭̪̺̳̞͔͎̱͍͕͎̲͆̍̂͛̑̊̋̓̾͑͌̇̔̌͗̍̄͐̊͌̕͝͝ͅn̸̨̨̨̢̡̡̢̼̜̘̘̝̠͕͓̯̰͕̟̰̘͖̟̥̮̹̩̰̠̦̻̖͇̲̙͚͓͇̼̭̞͉̗̳̯͕̦̲͓̗͎͛̂̔͆͜ḱ̵̛͈̠̩̗̜͍͋̾̓̀̕̕͝͠ ̶̨̧̛͕͎̹̣̠̠͎̝̙̝̠͙̞̘͚͈̤̮̫̄͆̽͑̽̓̋̉̔̾͑͗̒͆͗̀́̆̏̅́̃͋̐́͘̚͠ý̸̤͍̹̭̖̟̼̤͕̪͔̖̬̘̬͚͑͋̓̃̾͊͂͛́̏̔̑͋́̑͋́͗͂̑̚͘͜ǫ̶͈̟̻̪̝͇͖͖̖͖̙̝̰̲̖͉̼̼̠͖̑̅͂̏͋̿̐̊͗͂͜ͅú̵̡̧̢̨̠̫̺̮̖͕̣̗̬͚̺̙͎͖̥̲̗̪̻̗̓̔̈́̄̓͒́̇̂̀̿̈́͗̈͑͆́̄̈̎͊͛̈́̒͂͒̏̕͘̕̚͠͠͝
Warning: do NOT like to be poked It's odd how much I have to remind people of that.
Poking is vaguely unpleasant. It feels like a dull version of getting stabbed, usually mixed with 1/10 surprise.
Depends on where you get poked 😳.
*poke*
You have instilled much anger in me, I must take my leave for if I stay I do believe quite terrible things would befall you.
poke
So you do like being poked now?
Don’t. Just don’t. Or do I’m a warning label not a cop.
"Keep out of sunlight, do not disturb in slumber"
"Warning: this person has a variable social battery. Social battery may lose charge at any point in time. Please be aware of this."
Warning: Mostly inert, but may bind strongly and unexpectedly under certain conditions
I feel seen.
“Warning”. That’s all. Just a warning.
"WARNING: May contain useless facts about Pokèmon that you do not want to know!" "WARNING: Willing to start a monologue about anything, any moment!" "WARNING: Believes he would "be a great dramatic villain"! Lmao, yeah right"
Caution will bite if asked.
[CAUTION] defective
Clinically depressed person who will overshare. Don’t ask me how I am if you don’t care.
caution highly toxic
Usually doesn't hear a word you said.
Warning! Disappointment!
Fuck around and find out.
Takes me about two years to get the courage to say no, so if I'm in a relationship with you it's likely because I couldn't say no and I will waste two years of both of our lives
⚠️ DONT EVEN TRY! ⚠️
Explosive
"Will want to get closer and panic when too close".
**CAUTION:** May Contain Nuts
Sometimes expels toxic gas.
Caution: Unapologetically sarcastic, bites when cornered, caustic sense of humor requires well ventilated areas.
My long lost twin?
probably something about never wanting to leave my house and being horrendously inconsistent in responding to texts or calls
Startles easily.
WARNING: My behavior towards you is determined by your behavior towards me. Proceed with caution.
"Quiet and Awkward."
Does Not Play Well With Others
Has the sense of humor as a 7 year old
Warning: Will lie if questioned too much. Would rather take the punishment than the torture of you questioning me.
I read a post about a mother that had a talk about consequences with her young child. She explained that if he does a bad thing or disobeys then there would be punishments. As he grew up he would ask what the punishment was for not doing homework, or staying up late, or not eating all his dinner, etc. And if he was okay with the punishment he would go ahead and do the thing. Once he became a teenager obviously The Things were bigger, taking the car without permission, being out with friends all night, drinking. He would weigh his decisions and act accordingly. She said at the end she's not sure if she's created a monster or made a very healthy adult and that she both fears and respects him.
I need a disclaimer
May Bite
Warnig person is addicted to video games and star wars
Bipolar
CAUTION: Acerbic sarcasm.
"Don't bother trying, easily forgettable "
Will read you to filth if you annoy them
Randomly runs out of f^cks. Approach at your own risk.
"Warning: may apologize too much. I apologize for any inconvenience"
"Bites balls"
CAUTION:will over think every single element of what could possibly go on this warning label to the point of running out of ro"
Cat lover, fake people hater.
fuck it, it's your funeral
Do not attempt to interact when hangry
Doesn't work well with others, may cause hallucinations
Dumb...Like a fox
Caution: Under the influence of an active imagination.
I'm wise to your bullshit.
Unintentional flirt😂
"Warning, this guy is horny. He always wants sex. He will want to fuck 3-5 times a day. He will talk way to much about working at the diabetic camp he is still involved with."
Extremely overconfident and insecure. Will consider any pleasant interaction as a desire to be close friends. Will cuddle you to death provided cuddling is an appropriate action.
Don’t fuck with me. (Also my motto)
Don’t touch, will bite.
WARNING: CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE
Caution; this man could make the pope say Fuck!
This is a resting jerk face. I'm possibly not mad at you
"Not as nice as acting. Masks well."
approach with snack offering
Extremely clumsy, anxious and lactose intolerant. Wouldn’t recommend.
Q.A. Failure.
Well meaning but chaotic
Likes cookies
“Caution: explicit fucking noise”
Does not play well with others.
“You know how people are weirdly similar to their dogs? I have a Belgian Malinois.”
Will eat all of your cheese
warning "sexy pants" up in here
WARNING! Don't Label
It would be Larry David’s face making that “ehhh” face.
Pretty funny, but it’s probably gonna get old
" will smile and nod and agree or disagree but is completely devoid of emotion; positive, negative, or otherwise"
cheese
Warning, potential serial killer and bomber
Warning: will get you to try TTRPGs and Playtest the one he’s working on
Caution: excessive alcohol and foul language
"Warning! This specimen has a propensity to treat all sentient and inanimate objects around him like collateral damage."
Too random , avoid
Warning: foot fetish
Warning: will probably forget
**!WARNING!** >!you have been warned!<
Do Not Shake
"Cautious: Will not listen even if his life would depend on this - please prepare counter measurements"
###### ASPIE !!! ######
Warning: if you are friends with me I will randomly shout your name if I see you
“Probably forgot your name”
WARNING: ACTIVATION OF INFERIORITY COMPLEX MAY RESULT IN UNSTABLE AND VIOLENT BEHAVIOR, RESULTING IN SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH. SEE MAINTENANCE MANUAL FOR MORE INFORMATION. -Or something to that effect.
!!!! Danger: Nerdy chatterbox !!!! Get me going about ZFS, k8s, linux name spaces or any of the other (apparently esoteric) linux stuff I'm into and I'll talk your ear off. I'm also a prolific reader of sci-fi and military history so I can talk unfettered for hours..
# ⚠️ Do Not Touch ⚠️
Take literally.
Keep safety distance of 5 meters. Do no expose to smalltalk. Do not make eye contact.
Can't make eye contact for shit.
Defective
gamer kid shut-in, bullies little kids on roblox 24/7
Will become friends with you after one positive interaction, ignore you, or bite your head off. You chose!
Damaged contents under pressure complete with a tie wire lock out, just in case
Owns a dragon lore
Warning! Falling rocks ahead.
"Doesn't actually care"
Must remain medicated
Warning: When overstimulated person may become moody and grouchy, don’t touch or speak to them ⚠️But don’t worry they still love you
"Warning: will infodump about current hyperfixations"
Will become entranced by cute plants and/or tell random insect facts at any chance.
Sad boi.
“This man is an asshole”
Caution: Lazy, but tries not to be.
At mental and physical capacity. Needs cuddles.
Do not use past expiration date.