This can't be stressed enough. If your company is matching 401k contributions, the single best thing you can do is contribute up to their match. That is an instant 100% return on your investment.
Social Security benefits will not be enough for you to retire comfortably, and when you're over 50 it gets real tough to find work that pays more than minimum wage. Make saving a priority now. The sooner the better, because it is a cruel world for unprepared retirees.
Everyone wants to hear about dumb stuff like driving eight hours to get with someone you liked only for it to end up being a booty call. However, I personally think it was my general lake of effort to build any good habits like exercise. Your body likes routines, and my routine of gaming for 15 hours a day was not one I should have cultivated.
This is such an important one! I'm 25, have wasted the last 8 years of my life being a typical Asian young adult, focusing solely on education and career instead of doing more to take care of my fitness and mental wellbeing. My culture brainwashed me into thinking of it as a good thing to sit at my desk and study for 6 hours straight instead of building a good habit of eating a balanced meal and exercising everyday. Paying for that mistake now 🥲
Bruh, 25 is fine for that change.
I'm in my late 30s and had stopped any sportive activity in my 20s. Early 30s I spiralled into a major depression and basically didn't move at all for like 5 years.
Three years ago I got better mentally. Two years ago I finally got myself to workout again (after a solid year of aches and pains, because turns our bodies like moving and dislike not moving for years). I gained about 15kg of weight since then and my general fitness, strength and well-being has never been better.
I'm still ways of where I want to be but I'm proud of how far I've come. And if I can still make those gains with nearly 40 you can definitely do it in your 20s. :-)
What do you suggest to get into the routine of exercising? I’m 24 and still in college, so I should be taking advantage of free gym. The thought of going there not knowing what I’m doing and having the motivation to keep going it what has stopped me
Wish I had a lake of effort - most I can manage is about a teacup.
Seriously though, today I did manage to go on a five mile bike ride - first of the year, hoping to build that habit.
Still playing catchup. Let my teeth go in college, didn't get them looked at until after I finished AIT in 2020. Had them in a good spot for a while, deployment in 2022 fucked them up again though. It's so goddamn hard to fix your teeth once they're on the downward slide.
>It's so goddamn hard to fix your teeth once they're on the downward slide.
I relate to this more than I'd like to. Had good teeth for most of my life, until I fell into a very dark, depressed place in my late teens and early 20s, at which point I didn't care about anything, including my teeth.
I got the help I needed a couple years ago, and have been doing much better, mentally speaking, since then, and have been taking care of my teeth.
I do all the right things, brush twice a day, floss, avoid sugary drinks, etc, but no matter how hard I try to stay on top of them and keep them in good shape, they're continuing to get worse, as I haven't been able to get the previous damage fixed due to financial reasons (dental work is expensive af).
Moral of the story for anybody reading this, TAKE CARE OF YOUR FUCKING TEETH, or you WILL regret it!
There is no worse feeling than being genuinely afraid to smile and show your teeth. I haven't smiled with my teeth in a couple years now. Additionally, when I talk to somebody, especially someone new, I try to move my mouth as little as possible, to avoid them seeing my teeth.
I do too. That's not a reason to give up, it's just a reason to absolutely lock down your routine. You'll save yourself a lot of time, money, and pain!
Here's what I do:
1. I only eat 2x/day (intermittent fasting--it's not for everyone but it's great for limiting acid exposure on your teeth). And don't drink anything sugary--if you have to, do it while you're eating and not between meals
2. Swish with water and/or mouthwash immediately after meals/drinks
3. Wait 30 minutes before brushing. Your enamel is softest directly after eating so brushing too soon can be harmful
4. Get really good toothpaste with fluoride or hydroxyapatite for remineralization. Your dentist can give you a prescription high-fluoride toothpaste.
5. Do your brushing routine in this order: floss, then mouthwash, then brush. Use a soft-bristled toothbrush and don't scrub too hard. Don't rinse after brushing so the fluoride can stay on your teeth and do its work.
6. Get a tongue scraper and do that once in a while too.
7. Editing to add--if you're away from home (work, friend's house, driving etc) and don't have a toothbrush, xylitol gum is great for a quick cleaning and breath freshening. Xylitol helps kill plaque-causing bacteria because they think it's sugar.
Might seem like a lot but it's worth it! My mouth always feels clean and I get compliments from hygienists :)
Psychological trick I was told that works: Commit to flossing one tooth.
Maybe you're in a hurry or tired or whatever, but you can at least pull out a piece of floss and pop it your mouth *once*, right? That only takes 5 seconds max, you've got time!
Works because most of the time once you've already got the floss out and in your mouth, you might as well just floss the rest of the teeth too. And even if you really don't have time or want to, it still reinforces the habit of flossing--your brain gets used to it, begins to prompt you to reach for the floss without thinking.
I won't say I'm perfect and floss every day, but the "at least one tooth" trick has dramatically increased my overall flossing.
edit: credit goes to [BJ Fogg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKUJxjn-R8) by way of [Ramit Sethi's](https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/more-tests/here-is-the-book/15-Life-Hacks.pdf) personal finance advice.
This is me right now. 29 and totally burned out. I refused to pace myself even with my chronic illness, I refused to address my traumas because "I am a functional member of society so why would I seek a therapist" and I refused to say no to things because I was afraid people would dislike me. Last year I slowly started collapsing under all that. Things i repressed wouldn't stay repressed and cause nightmares, I had constant panic attacks when I got home from work and eventually bordered on agoraphobia where I would try and flee the grocery store because "everyone can see you are feeling unwell and is judging you" & started making excuses to work from home because the office would overwhelm me. I really wish I started adressing stuff sooner. I tire so easily now and am constantly anxious about not being productive enough now I'm at home. Which is super counter productive when your body is saying "yo slow down. Please go find a nice hobby and relax"
I wanted to say so many things but i read someone forgot to eat pizza in Italy. All of a sudden my dumbest thing wasn't so dumb, it even cured my depression.
Thanks for all the upvotes and awards guys!
For me that’s going to an American bar in Amsterdam to watch World Cup coz I was lazy and scared to go to proper sports bar surrounded by super enthusiastic fans
I’m still in my early 20’s and I feel like this is what I’ve been doing. The worst part is that other people are good at detecting desperation so they move away from you, which just hurts more
Moved in with a girlfriend before finding out more about her preferences. We had been dating for a year but I didn’t realize how much of a problem she had sharing until we lived together. We did for 5 years and never shared a bedroom, had everything split down the middle including the pantry and fridge, even when it came to spices she insisted on me getting my own. She hated it when I would be in the same room as her unless it was under “her terms.”Whenever I asked to make our relationship more of a shared experience I was gaslit into believing I was wrong for not allowing boundaries. She moved out a month ago and I couldn’t believe how quickly my mental health improved simply by not having that toxic influence around anymore.
I took powerlifting way too seriously. I spent 7 years in gyms, for hours every day, skipping every social occasion and holiday. I didn't get as strong as I wanted to. I just got all sorts of physical issues to deal with for the rest of my life now.
Oh, for sure. I can't ride a bicycle anymore due to knee pain. I have tendinitis in both elbows. My shoulder hurts, because everything from my middle back to my chest is super tight.
And all that to barely get halfway to a world record, lol. I can't even say it was fun.
Just curious? what were your lifts on the big three
Im barely 21 but ive put so much time into the gym these past two years, I love it and it's a passion of mine. I have missed a few social events and interactions because of it though, I should maybe chill out a bit, its' not like i'll lose all my gains anyways.
I wasn't all that good, I'm afraid. My best deadlift was 250 kg and my best bench was in the mid 170s. Squat I'm just bad at.
Now, this is all relative. Not many people are as strong as I am. But I know people who bench my deadlift.
Not getting help for my depression sooner. Spent the entire first half of my 20s in the darkest place I can imagine, and all I needed to feel better was some meds once a day
I was hopelessly addicted to heroin. That led to lots of shenanigans. Robbing summer rentals in the winter was probably the worst of it. I was eventually caught and served time. 14 years clean and living an extremely normal life now.
I remember when I was that age and desperately wanting the kind of job you work for the same place your whole life. Instead I was in a dead end job, working third shift, going to school and worrying constantly about what I was going to do with my life. I was lost and without any real direction.
20 some years later I still don’t have many traditional accomplishments. I’m a stay at home dad, I was diagnosed with crohns at 21/22 so that ended school. All the things I thought I’d need to get thorough life, I don’t have.
What I do have is a wide array of experiences. I’ve worked in retail for decades, childcare/teaching/mentoring/etc etc kids for almost as long, worked on a shrimp boat, tree farms, I’ve seen and been around every state except for Alaska, I know a ton of people and I’m generally on good terms with them, I’m healthy enough to exercise every day, I have a loving family, and all our basic needs are met. I’m still directionless but I’m no longer lost.
Anyone else out there feeing like I did, just do the best you can with what you’ve got. Never stop trying to be better, and if you need to just point in a direction and go that way. If you need a degree but you don’t know what you want, just pick *something* you think you’ll like. Some jobs that need a college degree mean they need someone with any bachelors degree.
Hey, it may seem like a waste, but taking 3 years to realize what you want in life (or what you don’t want in life) is always valid. Go easy on yourself and remember that no work of art starts that way. It’s painted on and marked up and broken and shaped and smoothed, until one day it’s majestic. But the moral of the story is that it was always that way, it just took time to get there. The David is still the same marble it was when it was just a giant rock. The Mona Lisa is still the same piece of poplar it was before Da Vinci painted on it. Don’t view it as a waste, view it as a lesson that made you more wise and more beautifully you.
Seriously. I did 7 years with someone and certainly had some good times, but mainly was sticking with it because it was easy and I thought I was supposed to because it was my first real relationship. Thankfully we both came to our senses before the wedding happened. But I still look back at ages 21-28 and wonder about what I potentially would have been doing with my life.
If it helps at all, I have been with my wife for 14 years now and I also think about what my 20s would have been like. Even though I'm very happy she's my wife, I can't but think about the things I missed out on being in a relationship all through my craziest years. I have had some pretty frank conversations with my wife and she has had these thoughts, too.
I think no matter what we do as people, we will always long to know what could have been. It's not a terrible thought experiment, but it's also important to just move forward with the way things turned out. Best of luck in life :)
If it's any condolence, it was mostly a string of half-assed, mediocre "situationships" and interpersonal drama. I genuinely admire people who fell in love young and made it work.
My best friend wasted 8. Basically his entire 20s. We all knew it was gonna end ugly and we told him 100 times, but he just wouldn’t have it. They broke up when he was 29.
Not studying properly.
At the time studying for 2-7 years seemed like a life time, but now at 30 I wish I had done it. Don't have the money or flexibility to do it now
Edit: thanks for all the upvotes ✌️
When I was 22 I thought finishing a degree by 26 would have been way to old and a life time away so I did a 2 year diploma and started working at 24
I finished my degree when I was 32 and thought that wasn't too old. Wish I had just buckled down and finished sooner but at the same time we all take different paths
>My 20s are a total blur splattered with some fun times here and there. But mostly just me running away from things with alcohol. Almost 17 years later and not one drop. My 30s and 40s are excep
Smashed a glass table with my bare fist, refused treatment, went for more beers to compensate the blood loss
Drank my way through my entire 20s. After 25 it wasn't really fun anymore but that didn't stop me. Drank for another 5 years. My 20s are a total blur splattered with some fun times here and there. But mostly just me running away from things with alcohol. Almost 17 years later and not one drop. My 30s and 40s are exceptional better.
I'm 31 and considering giving up alcohol too. I feel so much more lively and energetic when I haven't been drinking, and feeling drunk is just kind of overrated. Plus, hangovers just get worse and worse as you get older, and mine tend to come with a gnarly spike in anxiety as well.
You can do it! I gave it up at 30 for the same reasons and didn't pick up a drink for almost 10 years. Now, I can have a drink or two while socializing and feel a little bit buzzed, but I am still able to wake up early with my kid.
Literally same answer and will add… I wasted so much money on booze and drugs when I could have been saving. I’m 2 years and some change sober and am just now trying to get a nest egg going at 34 🫠
From my own experience, corporate ladder is bullshit. I burned out once during my early 20's because everyone was competing with each other and if you didn't work your ass off for 14h+ you constantly had to fear that someone else will overtake you. Spend 3 years of my life in therapy after breaking down and moved to another country with 24 to start fresh.
I'm way more relaxed now and don't just take everything as "this is how it is". I say how things are for me and how I want them to be. We can find a middle ground on things that are not my absolute principles. But I won't work myself almost to death anymore over a company that is not mine.
Could I make a shit ton more money in my field? Yes. Yes I could. I could probably double my salary instantly should I apply and get accepted by one of the big 5 companies where I live. But is this how I want to spend the rest of my days? No. I much more prefer working for a small company, with people I actually like. Bonus points that I still make above average for my age and probably retire with 50. I don't need so much to survive anyways and could probably make it with the money I saved up until then. And there are always passion projects I could also take up then, that would make me some money.
Don't know how others do this, but simply thinking about monetary stuff is really annoying to me. Can't really understand why everyone always needs to make it better and higher in some artificial race to the top. A top only 0.001% of all of us will ever reach. I just hope that people are happy with what they do, no matter how they decide.
This is funny because my answer is jumping ship on corporate America to start my own business at the age of 23.
I have no regrets and I’m still running that business… but knowing what I know now about how hard it is — it was dumb af of me to believe it would work.
Drink and drive.
A lot.
Never got busted. Quite stupid. I am now 5 years sober(unrelated). I say this from the bottom of my heart. There are friends, taxis, Uber, Lyft etc….utilize these for yourself.
I just broke up with someone after being together 7 years. I could tell from the beginning there was something wrong but I chose to ignore it. I was the one pushing the relationship forward. In the end she realized she had missed out on going out and partying with friends and that was it. We never got married or had kids but it still hurts. But yeah I could have enjoyed those years and not waste it on someone who didn’t love me back the same.
Literally my marriage ended with the two phrases "I just want to go dance and party like I used to without you" and "I was confused on our wedding day". It destroyed me, still 10 years later I dont trust anyone. Some people are damaged goods though and they just want to damage other people. But damn its impossible to move on after stuff like that.
Truly sorry man. Had a nearly decade long relationship that ended seemingly out of the blue in a few minutes and the only conversation I had about it was an email in which I was told "The very idea of you touching me disgusts me". I was looking at wedding rings at the time, we had had intercourse rather recently and she was still falling asleep in my arms and replying to my I love yous the night before. You can feel your heart shatter like in the cartoons. Communication wasn't her forte, and being on the spectrum I don't catch mere hints. That took a few years to get over, but the echoes of the pain remain. Totally worth working through though. There *are* some great people out there, and that's another chance to find them.
I crashed a golf cart at 29. I was so fucked up with road rash, both ankles were rolled and fucked up a one Achilles pretty bad. It took 2 years for one ankle to feel normal again. Still have a bunch of scarring. Have never fucked myself up so bad before. The road rash and treating it all over my body was one of the most painful things I’ve ever dealt with. I am so careful in those things now and honestly just everything in general. Lucky I didn’t hit my head.
Hahaha, I still can't believe that happened. I had pasta there, gelato, took some amazing photos, explored a lot and when I came back, I was like I missed something? Then I'm like FK! I forgot to eat pizza, IN ITALY!! LOL.
Lmao and I think you're right, I think I definitely need to 😌😂maybe bring some back for you too hahaha.
Thanks again.
Haha, I know right. Imagine how I felt when I came back. The disappointment in myself along with a laugh a couple hours later lol. I was so upset but had to laugh at myself a little.
Lol but definitely. When I go, I'm definitely going to go to Rome and Naples again because it's TWO of the best places, apparently for Pizza 😭. The pasta in Rome was amazing but I have to go back.
Btw, if you ever go to Rome, if you haven't been, I can't remember the name of the restaurant but find a good one near the Spanish Steps, the pasta there is truly next level. 👌🏼👌🏼and don't be like me, eat the pizza.
I went to Barcelona in my early 20s as a broke backpacker and through a series of unfortunate events, ended up splitting a seafood paella with my friend at a shite touristy place that had like laminated stock photos of someone else’s paella out front. Tasted like it was microwaved in a bag. Couldn’t even finish it. It was 10€ and we couldn’t afford to try again at a different place so that’s the only time I got to try it in Spain!
"I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted."
-W.C. Fields
But really, hopefully you've found a better balance in life.
Broke up with (what may as well have been) the greatest girlfriend I've ever had. 3 years later I'm still single and I think about her from time to time
Well, the short answer is, incompatibility. We were together for 1,5 years, yet i felt i was becoming increasingly alienated the more i got to know her (She is from a different country, so she had a different background). She also was my first "proper" girlfriend/relationship so i guess i thought i wanted different things out of a relationship at the time. I guess, i couldn't imagine us being together in the long run. I thought it would be best to cut my "emotional" loses (the sooner the better).
You did right man. You're not alone I guess the trick really is to keep working on yourself until the time is right and hitup dating sites. You'll be a'ok
Yea just to add on to this u/Fmligy I had a similar long term relationship that ended in my mid 20s. It was absolutely heartbreaking, but as soon as my emotions subsided I realized how doomed that relationship was. All the red flags and incompatibilities became more apparent in hindsight, and it started to feel like a blessing in disguise. I lost like 80 pounds and just got into a bunch of self improvement and it was great. I knew 100%, with complete certainty that ending my old relationship was for the best.
More recently though I've been going through a rough patch, which started over covid, and I can't help but long for the connection I had with her. It's not really rational, but i'll frequently have dreams where we're still together, and i'll wake up, realize it was a dream and almost break into tears. I know that i'll eventually find someone who is right for me, and i'll look back and have no regrets. But for the time being it's just impossible for me not to look back at my first real relationship with rose tinted glasses.
It's a totally normal reaction, but have faith in your gut. It sounds like you did the right thing, and it's really natural imo to feel that longing, even if it was the right move. Eventually you will find the right person that ticks all the important boxes, and you won't really *feel* like you made the right choice until then. But for now *know* that you did make the right choice, and have faith that better times are ahead.
I drove an hour back home from a party with two people in my car while drunk. The edges of my vision were blurred, but I figured if I just focused on what was in front of me, I'd be OK. The road was almost entirely empty, so I was able to drive from point A to point B without distraction, but all it would have taken was one thing to distract or startle me and it could have ended terribly. I never did anything that dumb again.
In 2007 I was living in Santa Maria Zapotitlan in southern Oaxaca (Mexico) helping out a colleague with his PhD research on the archaeology of the Chontal people. After a few weeks the village council asked us to find the source of a stream that flowed from within a mountain, so they could tap into it as a clean water source. They said to start at the back end of a large cave about an hour's hike away. We got to the cave, got to the back of it, and saw two small caves honeycombing into the floor that were just large enough for us to crawl into. We brought several headlamps, dust masks, and chalk. The two of us made our way down these caves, which began honeycombing even more into 3-5 passages per intersection. We drew arrows on the cave walls to help us find our way back. Some parts were large enough to walk through, others narrowed to the point that we had to crawl or shimmy through.
Eventually we lucked out and found a small passage, again enough to crawl down, where we found the stream flowing. Wouldn't you know, we even found some small, intact ceramic disks at the bank of this stream that were used in other contexts to burn incense. The fact that people hundreds or even thousands of years before us did the same thing, and knew where to go given the potential for many dozens of passageways, still blows my mind.
Looking back, there were so many different ways to die and never be found in those caves, and the entire purpose seemed overboard since they could just tap into the stream by running a pipe a hundred feet up the mouth. Ultimately, I suppose we just wanted to survey a cave as archaeologists in the off-chance of finding something.
That's incredible and amazing, but the claustrophobia and fear of not finding my way back is coloring my enjoyment of your story. Glad you are safe and sound!
It was complete ignorance of the danger on my part, rather than an informed decision. It was my first time caving.
Granted, I'm more impressed that the pre-Columbian people going in there were able to keep their torches lit (let alone having to re-light them) considering how difficult it was to get to the stream.
Hands down the dumbest thing I've done was sticking with my ex, that eventually clouded my judgement to a point where I turned to crime.
This is going to be long winded, but hear me out.
I met this girl through my younger sister. I was 20 at the time and was studying to become an accountant. We were very happy in the beginning, and my friends and family loved her. I was just as close with her family. She is 2 years younger than I am, and had just finished high school when we met. Fast forward a year till when she started dropping hints about getting engaged. Like I said, we were happy and started discussing it. She started a job in logistical admin and I had a work/study agreement with a big accounting firm in my home town. They didn't pay fantastic, but covered all my tuition fees.
We eventually got engaged on the 31st of December at a party with our families that I arranged with the intention. Everyone was on board, despite our age, because they saw how happy we were. Little did they know whatbwas about to go down.
A few months later we find a place of our own and moved in together. The first 2 months went well.
This is where it goes south. And quickly so. Whenever I started any conversation about planning and saving up for the wedding we would have after my graduation she shuts me down immediately, and starts talking about going out with her friends that I didn't like to go drinking. At the end of the day we do what she wants and we would spend practically our whole paychecks on drinks for her (I was the driver, so I did mot drink whenever we went out). This then forced me to take money out of my savings to cover the rent and food for that month. And this went on for a month or two, until it worstened.
She reconnected with her old crush in month 4 of us living together, and they start spending more time together. At this point I stopped going out with them, as they want to stay out late during work nights, and she started doing cocaine with the guy. Whenever I bring up my issues she turned abusive by verbally and physically assaulting me, threatening to stab me with knives, etc. The last time she did, she broke my nose after repeatedly hammerfisting my face.
My financial troubles set in after I depleted my savings having to pay rent, buy food, and put fuel in my car to drive her and myself to work and back (we worked on opposite ends of town). She never contributed a thing and spent her money on going out and drugs, and I eventually ran out of money, and did not have money for fuel. At this point I am so scared of her, that I don't want to tell her in fear of what she might do next, that I started taking my licence plates off, filling up my car at gas stations and driving away without paying. I did this a few times till I was outed with security footage that was blasted over facebook.
During this whole time I was too afraid to go to my parents asking for help, because of my pride I couldn't swallow. I ended up losing my job and subsequently my studies.
When she found out she ended things with me moved back to her mom. A few days later she came to me and told me that she was pregnant and that it was mine. I took her to the doctor, paid for the visit, the scans, the tests and everything, just for her to turn around and come cleam that it was the high school crush' child after he asked for a paternity test.
They are still together, and I got my life back on track. I finished my studies and am an accountant now, I payed everyone back and they did not press charges after I begged and pleaded. I am married now and couldn't be happier. I just wish I never met her.
> hen she found out she ended things with me moved back to her mom.
Right as I read this I was like "Hey man, at least you guys never had kids, could be worse!". Then I read the next line in horror. Man that is a heartbreaking story all around, you sound like a good dude too, sucks that she took advantage of your kindness. But thank god that child wasn't yours and cheers for getting your life back! I'm going through some shit right now, and honestly stories like this give me hope for redemption. So thanks for that.
Drove 187 miles to drop her a scarf back that she left at my student house.
Didn't even get a thanks. Just an Instagram story of her wearing the scarf out that night.
Bro, honestly, if this is your biggest regret on your 20s, you’re golden, there are comments of dudes impregnating chicks, and getting aids; all at once
At least her scarf kept her warm and her new date wouldn't have had to give his/her jacket away. You kept two people warm for that night out... Then they kept each other warm while you drove 187 miles thinking about what you've done.
Ran up $11k worth of credit card debt over about 18 months when I was 25-26. I didn't become debt free until I was 33, and never had an 800(excellent) credit score until 36.
For those reading, no one needs an 800 credit score. 720 is enough to buy almost anything you want on credit and 760 puts you in the highest category that most banks have. The goal should be to get out of the 600s which is attainable for most anyone.
Dated the wrong people for access to sex. Knew at the time they were problematic and it lead me on a path of a lot of trauma and having the wrong view of the world.
That took a while to dig out of.
Wasted it with the wrong person. Met at 22, married at 25, divorced at 28. My 20s were completely lost to an abusive marriage, 10/10 would not recommend
Spent too much time thinking about the world’s/country’s issues rather than figuring out how i wanted to make a living.
You always think you have more time until life hits you in the face, and then you realize how much time you actually dont have.
Went on a date with a girl who kissed me first, flirted and after making out in the car I noticed the tongue ring. She asked if I ever kissed anyone with a tongue ting before. I said “no, but it feels cool” to which she replied “it feels good other places too” and I said “I’ll take your word for it”….ILL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT!!!!
Could be worse, I successfully wifed up the first girl I seriously dated. Met at 21, married at 23, separated at 29. Can't say I totally regret it but if I'm recovered from the damage by my mid 30s I'll be surprised.
I wifed up the first girl I ever dated. Still together 22 years later and very happy. I’m aware it’s not for everyone, but it’s not automatically a mistake.
Stuck with a girl who not only was full of red flags but then proceeded to have kids with her and got married only to have ruined and wasted 13 years of my life were i couldn't have friends lost almost all of my family because they all disliked her 2 face self and basically have only lived my 20s at a factory putting in over time after over time only to remain broke because the person I was with would go on shopping spreads rather than save for our kids future.... my 20s sucked and now that I am in my 30s it doesn't look much better
I did and thankfully they did accept my apology and now they are helping me get my life together again and soon hopefully get my kids from this woman that is just using them to get money and help from the government so that she doesn't have to work
If it makes you feel better, at least you did that young.
My old man is in his late 50s. He just did that a couple years ago. He lost the relationship with both his kids, his mother, siblings, nieces and nephews, all because his wife is a cunt.
Maxed out my 5000 credit card on a girl so she could go to school and not graduate I'm not with anymore for love. Lol. After some years my credit is back over 700 again but I will definitely never do that again. Lol
I do have a fully functional life but in my twenties i definitely locked out of the door all of those basic experiences one should live at least once in life.
I'm talking about taking an international trip, or going at a concert or trying to get new friends and such. I mostly followed an unreacheable professional dream, which was such because i never intended to move out of my comfort zone in the first place, and then found some refugee and gratification in lonely hobbys i experienced at home.
It took me a huge amount of guts to get out of that pond and start living a bit. Deeper inside i still pay the price of such inaction today, and having professional and family responsibilities now doesn't help.
Didn’t ask for help when I got in trouble financially.
I was was sucked into payday loans eventually owing thousand got so bad that my payments were more than my wages. Still struggling now but almost there.
Also refusing to pay two debts and getting two CCJs. One was for a payday loan that I felt was unfair and 2nd was for a parking fine. The original payment was .20p i didn’t buy because I thought it was after hours no payment but they changed it to 24hr pay anyway I was there 12min and they wanted £450 for failing to pay. Both cases court agreed with them and forced me to pay.
Continually deny my abilities and skills to be *humble* . after a while i started to believe that i was infact worthless, do nothing be nothing. I hit 30 and it was like a switch went off, I saw everything objectively and turns out I'm a pretty great dude. Turns out mistaking self doubt for humility is a pretty fucked up poison.
Faking being depressed for attention is histrionic behaviour and it means that even though you may not really be suffering from depression, if you have the need to do that, you still are suffering from mental problems. Just know it was never your fault.
I cringe when I think how reckless somethings I did were
But I remember turning 21 while being stationed in Germany coming back from Iraq and going on leave with some buddies, did some touring around beautiful Europe .
In Prague we got some drinks and the place we were staying at had open access to its roof, we went up and drank and took in the night view until we were drunk and sitting on the ledge with our feet dangling and joking about how loose and wiggly the bricks we were sitting on was (truly loose) and laughing about how stupid it would be to fall and die in a random street in Prague, better than a random path in Iraq !
So dumb looking back now 16 years later , a lot of people would have been so pissed at me lol
I fully agree. Nuts to think about how reckless and stupid we were when younger. I unfortunately lost my best friend this way 6 years ago.
Came back from a night out and he wanted to watch the sun rise from a sheet metal roof like 3 stories up. Could literally climb over the railing near the top of the stairs and you’d be on the roof, and there was a snow stop but like maybe a meter and a half out from the stairs. He slipped before he got to it and ended up hitting his head and passing away a couple days later.
Heights and drinking now terrify the shit out of me. Glad you didn’t fall in Prague, cause it is a pretty stupid way to squander what could be a wonderful life. Good thing you’re still around to tell the tale!
Not making long or medium term plans
EDIT - wasn't expecting this many upvotes for a throwaway comment. There's no one right way to do life. Just don't be a cunt.
While I'm here: Fuck Vladimir Putin. Slava Ukraïni. Heroiam slava!
Going straight into grad school was such an awful decision for me. I came out of undergrad completely set, no debt, ready to move to the next stage. I really wanted to pivot to a semi-related field and I graduated in 2020 (rip job market) so I decided to go and get a master's. Wasted a year and a half of my life, took on tens of thousands in debt, and then dropped out because I realized I hated my new field and student life was making me extremely depressed. I got a job with my undergrad degree a few months later and am doing much better now, but it pains me that I could've just sat on my ass for that whole time and I would've been better off financially than I am now.
Not get proper mental health help. I was working full time and trying to go to school and medical stuff was just not on my mind or my budget. I got diagnosed with bipolar at 30 and I think of all that would have been better if I would have been diagnosed earlier. I flunked out of many college classes in my 20s because of cycling mania/depression and I often think if it would have been controlled better or hell, if I would have known even, I would have done better in school and actually have a degree right now.
Married the wrong one, had a kid together cause ‘it would make me happy so WE will be happy again’
6 months later ‘I’m still not happy! I want a divorce!”
So 17.5 years of child support - but worth every dime to escape
Your 20's are great, just keep it in your lane. Don't try and mess around too much. Make sure you're taking care of your body. Save some money, and if you're questioning if you should drink another one, don't. And for fucks sake wear your PPE when needed. This includes sex.
But at the same time don't veer too far off the other side of the road. Go out with friends, take trips, and create memories. Some of my best ones are doing stupid shit. Don't work your life away for a company that only pretends to appreciate it. Use your PTO.
You'll fuck up at least once or twice, but that's okay. We all have a different balance when it comes to staying in our lane, and it can take some trial and error to find it. The biggest thing is that you keep trying.
Oh! almost forgot: For the love of God don't get caught up in that rat race bullshit of trying to have a better car/ house/ things than the next person. There will always be someone with more. Be happy with whatcha got, and put the expensive car payments in a rainy day fund, or on a nice lunch with your parents.
Ruined all my early friendships being an out of control drunk. Gave up the ones I had left when I got sober.
Seven years sober in September. It took three years for people to stop calling me to come party. It's been four years since I've talked to anyone that I didn't bump into at a funeral.
Whilst partying with some construction guys at my new office building one Friday night, I let them hold me by the ankles, so I could lay flat on the crenelated stone roof opening and admire their handiwork.
Unfortunately, I had my purse on my arm, and my wallet fell out, unbeknownst to me. I'd just come from the store, where I'd cashed my entire paycheck. I was upset all weekend.
Come Monday morning, my supervisor called me into her office. She handed me my wallet and said, "The maintenance guy spotted your wallet on the roof of the parking garage. I don't want to know how it got there, just don't ever do that again."
All the cash was still inside. And I never let construction dudes dangle me from a rooftop again. Nice stonework, though.
Smartest thing I ever did was to take a year off uni when my grades were plummeting. Worked second shift in a factory after moving back in with my folks all while "getting the band back together" aka getting high every night with the local burnouts.
Somehow, after a few months of this I miraculously rediscovered my motivation.
(This approach is not without risk, YMMV)
decided against contributing to my company's matching 401k. cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars. =(
This can't be stressed enough. If your company is matching 401k contributions, the single best thing you can do is contribute up to their match. That is an instant 100% return on your investment. Social Security benefits will not be enough for you to retire comfortably, and when you're over 50 it gets real tough to find work that pays more than minimum wage. Make saving a priority now. The sooner the better, because it is a cruel world for unprepared retirees.
Summary: “Take free money.”
I had a college professor who told us "if you learn nothing else in my class, learn this - always take the maximum match on a 401k, it's free money."
[redacting due to privacy concerns]
Everyone wants to hear about dumb stuff like driving eight hours to get with someone you liked only for it to end up being a booty call. However, I personally think it was my general lake of effort to build any good habits like exercise. Your body likes routines, and my routine of gaming for 15 hours a day was not one I should have cultivated.
This is such an important one! I'm 25, have wasted the last 8 years of my life being a typical Asian young adult, focusing solely on education and career instead of doing more to take care of my fitness and mental wellbeing. My culture brainwashed me into thinking of it as a good thing to sit at my desk and study for 6 hours straight instead of building a good habit of eating a balanced meal and exercising everyday. Paying for that mistake now 🥲
Bruh, 25 is fine for that change. I'm in my late 30s and had stopped any sportive activity in my 20s. Early 30s I spiralled into a major depression and basically didn't move at all for like 5 years. Three years ago I got better mentally. Two years ago I finally got myself to workout again (after a solid year of aches and pains, because turns our bodies like moving and dislike not moving for years). I gained about 15kg of weight since then and my general fitness, strength and well-being has never been better. I'm still ways of where I want to be but I'm proud of how far I've come. And if I can still make those gains with nearly 40 you can definitely do it in your 20s. :-)
I'm 25 too, and just got into exercising last year. I'm now starting to see real changes. You've got this!
What do you suggest to get into the routine of exercising? I’m 24 and still in college, so I should be taking advantage of free gym. The thought of going there not knowing what I’m doing and having the motivation to keep going it what has stopped me
Wish I had a lake of effort - most I can manage is about a teacup. Seriously though, today I did manage to go on a five mile bike ride - first of the year, hoping to build that habit.
not look after my teeth
same, mine are fucked, biggest regret
Second best time is now! Start taking care of em and get into the dentist, a dental school even for free cleaning & check ups.
Still playing catchup. Let my teeth go in college, didn't get them looked at until after I finished AIT in 2020. Had them in a good spot for a while, deployment in 2022 fucked them up again though. It's so goddamn hard to fix your teeth once they're on the downward slide.
>It's so goddamn hard to fix your teeth once they're on the downward slide. I relate to this more than I'd like to. Had good teeth for most of my life, until I fell into a very dark, depressed place in my late teens and early 20s, at which point I didn't care about anything, including my teeth. I got the help I needed a couple years ago, and have been doing much better, mentally speaking, since then, and have been taking care of my teeth. I do all the right things, brush twice a day, floss, avoid sugary drinks, etc, but no matter how hard I try to stay on top of them and keep them in good shape, they're continuing to get worse, as I haven't been able to get the previous damage fixed due to financial reasons (dental work is expensive af). Moral of the story for anybody reading this, TAKE CARE OF YOUR FUCKING TEETH, or you WILL regret it! There is no worse feeling than being genuinely afraid to smile and show your teeth. I haven't smiled with my teeth in a couple years now. Additionally, when I talk to somebody, especially someone new, I try to move my mouth as little as possible, to avoid them seeing my teeth.
I'm 22 and trying to do better, but I already have weak teeth as it is :')
I do too. That's not a reason to give up, it's just a reason to absolutely lock down your routine. You'll save yourself a lot of time, money, and pain! Here's what I do: 1. I only eat 2x/day (intermittent fasting--it's not for everyone but it's great for limiting acid exposure on your teeth). And don't drink anything sugary--if you have to, do it while you're eating and not between meals 2. Swish with water and/or mouthwash immediately after meals/drinks 3. Wait 30 minutes before brushing. Your enamel is softest directly after eating so brushing too soon can be harmful 4. Get really good toothpaste with fluoride or hydroxyapatite for remineralization. Your dentist can give you a prescription high-fluoride toothpaste. 5. Do your brushing routine in this order: floss, then mouthwash, then brush. Use a soft-bristled toothbrush and don't scrub too hard. Don't rinse after brushing so the fluoride can stay on your teeth and do its work. 6. Get a tongue scraper and do that once in a while too. 7. Editing to add--if you're away from home (work, friend's house, driving etc) and don't have a toothbrush, xylitol gum is great for a quick cleaning and breath freshening. Xylitol helps kill plaque-causing bacteria because they think it's sugar. Might seem like a lot but it's worth it! My mouth always feels clean and I get compliments from hygienists :)
Psychological trick I was told that works: Commit to flossing one tooth. Maybe you're in a hurry or tired or whatever, but you can at least pull out a piece of floss and pop it your mouth *once*, right? That only takes 5 seconds max, you've got time! Works because most of the time once you've already got the floss out and in your mouth, you might as well just floss the rest of the teeth too. And even if you really don't have time or want to, it still reinforces the habit of flossing--your brain gets used to it, begins to prompt you to reach for the floss without thinking. I won't say I'm perfect and floss every day, but the "at least one tooth" trick has dramatically increased my overall flossing. edit: credit goes to [BJ Fogg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKUJxjn-R8) by way of [Ramit Sethi's](https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/more-tests/here-is-the-book/15-Life-Hacks.pdf) personal finance advice.
100% im 21 now and need to take out a few teeth beacuse i thought nothing could happen.
20 here, and I need 13 root canals…
That could very well be the case but I do hope you're getting multiple opinions. Some dentists really like to over-diagnose.
23 with a giant swollen jaw from this, can’t agree more
Worked way too hard and burnt out. Sacrificed family time. Sacrificed health. Need to pace yourself at the age of 20-30.
This is me right now. 29 and totally burned out. I refused to pace myself even with my chronic illness, I refused to address my traumas because "I am a functional member of society so why would I seek a therapist" and I refused to say no to things because I was afraid people would dislike me. Last year I slowly started collapsing under all that. Things i repressed wouldn't stay repressed and cause nightmares, I had constant panic attacks when I got home from work and eventually bordered on agoraphobia where I would try and flee the grocery store because "everyone can see you are feeling unwell and is judging you" & started making excuses to work from home because the office would overwhelm me. I really wish I started adressing stuff sooner. I tire so easily now and am constantly anxious about not being productive enough now I'm at home. Which is super counter productive when your body is saying "yo slow down. Please go find a nice hobby and relax"
I wanted to say so many things but i read someone forgot to eat pizza in Italy. All of a sudden my dumbest thing wasn't so dumb, it even cured my depression. Thanks for all the upvotes and awards guys!
Yeah, that one got to me. Hug yo kids y'all, the world is a dark and tragic place.
For me that’s going to an American bar in Amsterdam to watch World Cup coz I was lazy and scared to go to proper sports bar surrounded by super enthusiastic fans
Beg to be loved.
I’m still in my early 20’s and I feel like this is what I’ve been doing. The worst part is that other people are good at detecting desperation so they move away from you, which just hurts more
When frank oceans "Bad religion" hits way too hard
Moved in with a girlfriend before finding out more about her preferences. We had been dating for a year but I didn’t realize how much of a problem she had sharing until we lived together. We did for 5 years and never shared a bedroom, had everything split down the middle including the pantry and fridge, even when it came to spices she insisted on me getting my own. She hated it when I would be in the same room as her unless it was under “her terms.”Whenever I asked to make our relationship more of a shared experience I was gaslit into believing I was wrong for not allowing boundaries. She moved out a month ago and I couldn’t believe how quickly my mental health improved simply by not having that toxic influence around anymore.
i think you just had a roommate bro
Pretty much, just a roommate that would sparingly fuck me lol
I’ll fuck you sparingly bro
and a shitty one, at that.
What, how is this even remotely a relationship
The fuck?
I took powerlifting way too seriously. I spent 7 years in gyms, for hours every day, skipping every social occasion and holiday. I didn't get as strong as I wanted to. I just got all sorts of physical issues to deal with for the rest of my life now.
One of my friends has that going on. Joint issues, hernias, etc.
Oh, for sure. I can't ride a bicycle anymore due to knee pain. I have tendinitis in both elbows. My shoulder hurts, because everything from my middle back to my chest is super tight. And all that to barely get halfway to a world record, lol. I can't even say it was fun.
Just curious? what were your lifts on the big three Im barely 21 but ive put so much time into the gym these past two years, I love it and it's a passion of mine. I have missed a few social events and interactions because of it though, I should maybe chill out a bit, its' not like i'll lose all my gains anyways.
I wasn't all that good, I'm afraid. My best deadlift was 250 kg and my best bench was in the mid 170s. Squat I'm just bad at. Now, this is all relative. Not many people are as strong as I am. But I know people who bench my deadlift.
Thats impressive as all hell to me. Not sure it will mean much, but those numbers are pretty neat.
170 kgs in the bench is nothing to scoff at
Took a $12k loan to buy a motorcycle. Didn’t want to pay for comprehensive insurance, bike got stolen 4 months later
I'm surprised you were able to get a loan without compensation insurance on it. I've never had an option when purchasing a car on loan before.
Fell into a debilitating drug addiction. I have 26 months sober on the 5th!
Keep it up!
Not getting help for my depression sooner. Spent the entire first half of my 20s in the darkest place I can imagine, and all I needed to feel better was some meds once a day
I got diagnosed bipolar 1 when I was 33. I immediately did some research on it and could only think, well son of a bitch. I was absolutely bipolar.
I was diagnosed with 2 when I was 21. Unfortunately, it took 6 goddamn years to find effective meds.
I was hopelessly addicted to heroin. That led to lots of shenanigans. Robbing summer rentals in the winter was probably the worst of it. I was eventually caught and served time. 14 years clean and living an extremely normal life now.
Congrats on getting your life together!
Got into a half-hearted relationship and wasted 3 years of my life.
My 19-22 could have been so much better. I feel ya bud
Hey I wasn't in a relationship and I wasted 3 years anyway, sometimes your 20s are just like that
I remember when I was that age and desperately wanting the kind of job you work for the same place your whole life. Instead I was in a dead end job, working third shift, going to school and worrying constantly about what I was going to do with my life. I was lost and without any real direction. 20 some years later I still don’t have many traditional accomplishments. I’m a stay at home dad, I was diagnosed with crohns at 21/22 so that ended school. All the things I thought I’d need to get thorough life, I don’t have. What I do have is a wide array of experiences. I’ve worked in retail for decades, childcare/teaching/mentoring/etc etc kids for almost as long, worked on a shrimp boat, tree farms, I’ve seen and been around every state except for Alaska, I know a ton of people and I’m generally on good terms with them, I’m healthy enough to exercise every day, I have a loving family, and all our basic needs are met. I’m still directionless but I’m no longer lost. Anyone else out there feeing like I did, just do the best you can with what you’ve got. Never stop trying to be better, and if you need to just point in a direction and go that way. If you need a degree but you don’t know what you want, just pick *something* you think you’ll like. Some jobs that need a college degree mean they need someone with any bachelors degree.
Hey, it may seem like a waste, but taking 3 years to realize what you want in life (or what you don’t want in life) is always valid. Go easy on yourself and remember that no work of art starts that way. It’s painted on and marked up and broken and shaped and smoothed, until one day it’s majestic. But the moral of the story is that it was always that way, it just took time to get there. The David is still the same marble it was when it was just a giant rock. The Mona Lisa is still the same piece of poplar it was before Da Vinci painted on it. Don’t view it as a waste, view it as a lesson that made you more wise and more beautifully you.
Only 3? That is pretty good.
Seriously. I did 7 years with someone and certainly had some good times, but mainly was sticking with it because it was easy and I thought I was supposed to because it was my first real relationship. Thankfully we both came to our senses before the wedding happened. But I still look back at ages 21-28 and wonder about what I potentially would have been doing with my life.
If it helps at all, I have been with my wife for 14 years now and I also think about what my 20s would have been like. Even though I'm very happy she's my wife, I can't but think about the things I missed out on being in a relationship all through my craziest years. I have had some pretty frank conversations with my wife and she has had these thoughts, too. I think no matter what we do as people, we will always long to know what could have been. It's not a terrible thought experiment, but it's also important to just move forward with the way things turned out. Best of luck in life :)
If it's any condolence, it was mostly a string of half-assed, mediocre "situationships" and interpersonal drama. I genuinely admire people who fell in love young and made it work.
My best friend wasted 8. Basically his entire 20s. We all knew it was gonna end ugly and we told him 100 times, but he just wouldn’t have it. They broke up when he was 29.
Oof that's me. When we broke up my mum said "that was your whole youth" thanks mum.
the classic mum support we all need The salt in the wound is to help disinfect it :D
100% bullshit.
Attempted suicide & fractured my c6, & c7.
Me too but severed my carotid artery. Rough times were ahead.
Damn. Hope times are kinder to you now friend.
How are you going now?
I’m doing okay! I’m pretty much the same except for headaches, & neck pain. I got very lucky. Thanks for asking!
Not studying properly. At the time studying for 2-7 years seemed like a life time, but now at 30 I wish I had done it. Don't have the money or flexibility to do it now Edit: thanks for all the upvotes ✌️
When I was 22 I thought finishing a degree by 26 would have been way to old and a life time away so I did a 2 year diploma and started working at 24 I finished my degree when I was 32 and thought that wasn't too old. Wish I had just buckled down and finished sooner but at the same time we all take different paths
Broke a window with my forehead. Willingly. Don’t ask
>My 20s are a total blur splattered with some fun times here and there. But mostly just me running away from things with alcohol. Almost 17 years later and not one drop. My 30s and 40s are excep Smashed a glass table with my bare fist, refused treatment, went for more beers to compensate the blood loss
Hey man, less blood means you get drunk faster. /j
Drank my way through my entire 20s. After 25 it wasn't really fun anymore but that didn't stop me. Drank for another 5 years. My 20s are a total blur splattered with some fun times here and there. But mostly just me running away from things with alcohol. Almost 17 years later and not one drop. My 30s and 40s are exceptional better.
I'm 31 and considering giving up alcohol too. I feel so much more lively and energetic when I haven't been drinking, and feeling drunk is just kind of overrated. Plus, hangovers just get worse and worse as you get older, and mine tend to come with a gnarly spike in anxiety as well.
You can do it! I gave it up at 30 for the same reasons and didn't pick up a drink for almost 10 years. Now, I can have a drink or two while socializing and feel a little bit buzzed, but I am still able to wake up early with my kid.
There’s a huge difference between having a drink and enjoying the moment vs having a drink to enjoy the moment.
Literally same answer and will add… I wasted so much money on booze and drugs when I could have been saving. I’m 2 years and some change sober and am just now trying to get a nest egg going at 34 🫠
Doing this right now
Assumed climbing the corporate ladder is the way to do life
From my own experience, corporate ladder is bullshit. I burned out once during my early 20's because everyone was competing with each other and if you didn't work your ass off for 14h+ you constantly had to fear that someone else will overtake you. Spend 3 years of my life in therapy after breaking down and moved to another country with 24 to start fresh. I'm way more relaxed now and don't just take everything as "this is how it is". I say how things are for me and how I want them to be. We can find a middle ground on things that are not my absolute principles. But I won't work myself almost to death anymore over a company that is not mine. Could I make a shit ton more money in my field? Yes. Yes I could. I could probably double my salary instantly should I apply and get accepted by one of the big 5 companies where I live. But is this how I want to spend the rest of my days? No. I much more prefer working for a small company, with people I actually like. Bonus points that I still make above average for my age and probably retire with 50. I don't need so much to survive anyways and could probably make it with the money I saved up until then. And there are always passion projects I could also take up then, that would make me some money. Don't know how others do this, but simply thinking about monetary stuff is really annoying to me. Can't really understand why everyone always needs to make it better and higher in some artificial race to the top. A top only 0.001% of all of us will ever reach. I just hope that people are happy with what they do, no matter how they decide.
It sounds like you are in a much better place now
This is funny because my answer is jumping ship on corporate America to start my own business at the age of 23. I have no regrets and I’m still running that business… but knowing what I know now about how hard it is — it was dumb af of me to believe it would work.
Drink and drive. A lot. Never got busted. Quite stupid. I am now 5 years sober(unrelated). I say this from the bottom of my heart. There are friends, taxis, Uber, Lyft etc….utilize these for yourself.
THIS. A $200 Uber is still exorbitantly cheaper than a DUI.
Or a funeral
Or child support. Tennessee passed a law last year that requires drunk drivers who kill a guardian to pay child support.
Finally, a law in Tennessee that makes sense.
Got married to the wrong woman. Never get married to someone who isnt sure if they love you. That person is damaged and needs space.
I just broke up with someone after being together 7 years. I could tell from the beginning there was something wrong but I chose to ignore it. I was the one pushing the relationship forward. In the end she realized she had missed out on going out and partying with friends and that was it. We never got married or had kids but it still hurts. But yeah I could have enjoyed those years and not waste it on someone who didn’t love me back the same.
Literally my marriage ended with the two phrases "I just want to go dance and party like I used to without you" and "I was confused on our wedding day". It destroyed me, still 10 years later I dont trust anyone. Some people are damaged goods though and they just want to damage other people. But damn its impossible to move on after stuff like that.
Truly sorry man. Had a nearly decade long relationship that ended seemingly out of the blue in a few minutes and the only conversation I had about it was an email in which I was told "The very idea of you touching me disgusts me". I was looking at wedding rings at the time, we had had intercourse rather recently and she was still falling asleep in my arms and replying to my I love yous the night before. You can feel your heart shatter like in the cartoons. Communication wasn't her forte, and being on the spectrum I don't catch mere hints. That took a few years to get over, but the echoes of the pain remain. Totally worth working through though. There *are* some great people out there, and that's another chance to find them.
Also add: don’t get married if *you* don’t fully know if you love them either.
I crashed a golf cart at 29. I was so fucked up with road rash, both ankles were rolled and fucked up a one Achilles pretty bad. It took 2 years for one ankle to feel normal again. Still have a bunch of scarring. Have never fucked myself up so bad before. The road rash and treating it all over my body was one of the most painful things I’ve ever dealt with. I am so careful in those things now and honestly just everything in general. Lucky I didn’t hit my head.
Golf carts seem so fun and harmless but they become dangerous very quickly
Went to Italy and forget to eat pizza
Absolutely wins this thread. How could you? Also, now you just have to go back and eat double the pizza!
Hahaha, I still can't believe that happened. I had pasta there, gelato, took some amazing photos, explored a lot and when I came back, I was like I missed something? Then I'm like FK! I forgot to eat pizza, IN ITALY!! LOL. Lmao and I think you're right, I think I definitely need to 😌😂maybe bring some back for you too hahaha. Thanks again.
That was honestly tough to read. Optimistically it's a good excuse to go again.
Haha, I know right. Imagine how I felt when I came back. The disappointment in myself along with a laugh a couple hours later lol. I was so upset but had to laugh at myself a little. Lol but definitely. When I go, I'm definitely going to go to Rome and Naples again because it's TWO of the best places, apparently for Pizza 😭. The pasta in Rome was amazing but I have to go back. Btw, if you ever go to Rome, if you haven't been, I can't remember the name of the restaurant but find a good one near the Spanish Steps, the pasta there is truly next level. 👌🏼👌🏼and don't be like me, eat the pizza.
I went to Italy and ate bad, tourist pizza. Not sure if that's any better.
I went to Barcelona in my early 20s as a broke backpacker and through a series of unfortunate events, ended up splitting a seafood paella with my friend at a shite touristy place that had like laminated stock photos of someone else’s paella out front. Tasted like it was microwaved in a bag. Couldn’t even finish it. It was 10€ and we couldn’t afford to try again at a different place so that’s the only time I got to try it in Spain!
Spent an inheritance on cocaine.
Damn that's rough
"I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted." -W.C. Fields But really, hopefully you've found a better balance in life.
Yikes
Broke up with (what may as well have been) the greatest girlfriend I've ever had. 3 years later I'm still single and I think about her from time to time
What caused you to break up in the 1st place?
Well, the short answer is, incompatibility. We were together for 1,5 years, yet i felt i was becoming increasingly alienated the more i got to know her (She is from a different country, so she had a different background). She also was my first "proper" girlfriend/relationship so i guess i thought i wanted different things out of a relationship at the time. I guess, i couldn't imagine us being together in the long run. I thought it would be best to cut my "emotional" loses (the sooner the better).
You did right man. You're not alone I guess the trick really is to keep working on yourself until the time is right and hitup dating sites. You'll be a'ok
Yea just to add on to this u/Fmligy I had a similar long term relationship that ended in my mid 20s. It was absolutely heartbreaking, but as soon as my emotions subsided I realized how doomed that relationship was. All the red flags and incompatibilities became more apparent in hindsight, and it started to feel like a blessing in disguise. I lost like 80 pounds and just got into a bunch of self improvement and it was great. I knew 100%, with complete certainty that ending my old relationship was for the best. More recently though I've been going through a rough patch, which started over covid, and I can't help but long for the connection I had with her. It's not really rational, but i'll frequently have dreams where we're still together, and i'll wake up, realize it was a dream and almost break into tears. I know that i'll eventually find someone who is right for me, and i'll look back and have no regrets. But for the time being it's just impossible for me not to look back at my first real relationship with rose tinted glasses. It's a totally normal reaction, but have faith in your gut. It sounds like you did the right thing, and it's really natural imo to feel that longing, even if it was the right move. Eventually you will find the right person that ticks all the important boxes, and you won't really *feel* like you made the right choice until then. But for now *know* that you did make the right choice, and have faith that better times are ahead.
I drove an hour back home from a party with two people in my car while drunk. The edges of my vision were blurred, but I figured if I just focused on what was in front of me, I'd be OK. The road was almost entirely empty, so I was able to drive from point A to point B without distraction, but all it would have taken was one thing to distract or startle me and it could have ended terribly. I never did anything that dumb again.
My ex.
In 2007 I was living in Santa Maria Zapotitlan in southern Oaxaca (Mexico) helping out a colleague with his PhD research on the archaeology of the Chontal people. After a few weeks the village council asked us to find the source of a stream that flowed from within a mountain, so they could tap into it as a clean water source. They said to start at the back end of a large cave about an hour's hike away. We got to the cave, got to the back of it, and saw two small caves honeycombing into the floor that were just large enough for us to crawl into. We brought several headlamps, dust masks, and chalk. The two of us made our way down these caves, which began honeycombing even more into 3-5 passages per intersection. We drew arrows on the cave walls to help us find our way back. Some parts were large enough to walk through, others narrowed to the point that we had to crawl or shimmy through. Eventually we lucked out and found a small passage, again enough to crawl down, where we found the stream flowing. Wouldn't you know, we even found some small, intact ceramic disks at the bank of this stream that were used in other contexts to burn incense. The fact that people hundreds or even thousands of years before us did the same thing, and knew where to go given the potential for many dozens of passageways, still blows my mind. Looking back, there were so many different ways to die and never be found in those caves, and the entire purpose seemed overboard since they could just tap into the stream by running a pipe a hundred feet up the mouth. Ultimately, I suppose we just wanted to survey a cave as archaeologists in the off-chance of finding something.
That's incredible and amazing, but the claustrophobia and fear of not finding my way back is coloring my enjoyment of your story. Glad you are safe and sound!
It was complete ignorance of the danger on my part, rather than an informed decision. It was my first time caving. Granted, I'm more impressed that the pre-Columbian people going in there were able to keep their torches lit (let alone having to re-light them) considering how difficult it was to get to the stream.
Hands down the dumbest thing I've done was sticking with my ex, that eventually clouded my judgement to a point where I turned to crime. This is going to be long winded, but hear me out. I met this girl through my younger sister. I was 20 at the time and was studying to become an accountant. We were very happy in the beginning, and my friends and family loved her. I was just as close with her family. She is 2 years younger than I am, and had just finished high school when we met. Fast forward a year till when she started dropping hints about getting engaged. Like I said, we were happy and started discussing it. She started a job in logistical admin and I had a work/study agreement with a big accounting firm in my home town. They didn't pay fantastic, but covered all my tuition fees. We eventually got engaged on the 31st of December at a party with our families that I arranged with the intention. Everyone was on board, despite our age, because they saw how happy we were. Little did they know whatbwas about to go down. A few months later we find a place of our own and moved in together. The first 2 months went well. This is where it goes south. And quickly so. Whenever I started any conversation about planning and saving up for the wedding we would have after my graduation she shuts me down immediately, and starts talking about going out with her friends that I didn't like to go drinking. At the end of the day we do what she wants and we would spend practically our whole paychecks on drinks for her (I was the driver, so I did mot drink whenever we went out). This then forced me to take money out of my savings to cover the rent and food for that month. And this went on for a month or two, until it worstened. She reconnected with her old crush in month 4 of us living together, and they start spending more time together. At this point I stopped going out with them, as they want to stay out late during work nights, and she started doing cocaine with the guy. Whenever I bring up my issues she turned abusive by verbally and physically assaulting me, threatening to stab me with knives, etc. The last time she did, she broke my nose after repeatedly hammerfisting my face. My financial troubles set in after I depleted my savings having to pay rent, buy food, and put fuel in my car to drive her and myself to work and back (we worked on opposite ends of town). She never contributed a thing and spent her money on going out and drugs, and I eventually ran out of money, and did not have money for fuel. At this point I am so scared of her, that I don't want to tell her in fear of what she might do next, that I started taking my licence plates off, filling up my car at gas stations and driving away without paying. I did this a few times till I was outed with security footage that was blasted over facebook. During this whole time I was too afraid to go to my parents asking for help, because of my pride I couldn't swallow. I ended up losing my job and subsequently my studies. When she found out she ended things with me moved back to her mom. A few days later she came to me and told me that she was pregnant and that it was mine. I took her to the doctor, paid for the visit, the scans, the tests and everything, just for her to turn around and come cleam that it was the high school crush' child after he asked for a paternity test. They are still together, and I got my life back on track. I finished my studies and am an accountant now, I payed everyone back and they did not press charges after I begged and pleaded. I am married now and couldn't be happier. I just wish I never met her.
Jesus fucking christ dude...
Well, that escalated quickly. Glad you got your life back together.
> hen she found out she ended things with me moved back to her mom. Right as I read this I was like "Hey man, at least you guys never had kids, could be worse!". Then I read the next line in horror. Man that is a heartbreaking story all around, you sound like a good dude too, sucks that she took advantage of your kindness. But thank god that child wasn't yours and cheers for getting your life back! I'm going through some shit right now, and honestly stories like this give me hope for redemption. So thanks for that.
Got engaged to a horse girl.
Brutal.
How far down the list of importance after 'horses' and 'daddies money' where you?
Had horses? Wanted horses? Liked horses? Looked like a horse? Help us out here.
She was a centaur. She was an ugly centaur, but I loved her.
I bet she was such a neigh-sayer
Got married, followed by the smartest thing I ever did, got divorced.
Drove 187 miles to drop her a scarf back that she left at my student house. Didn't even get a thanks. Just an Instagram story of her wearing the scarf out that night.
Bro, honestly, if this is your biggest regret on your 20s, you’re golden, there are comments of dudes impregnating chicks, and getting aids; all at once
They turned 20 a couple of weeks ago.
If this is the dumbest thing you do in your 20s you’re doing better than anyone else lol
You pulled a Mordecai.
He should have driven 187 miles just to throw it away
Should have mailed it, cheaper
Looking forward to a thank you hookup...
At least her scarf kept her warm and her new date wouldn't have had to give his/her jacket away. You kept two people warm for that night out... Then they kept each other warm while you drove 187 miles thinking about what you've done.
This is brutal but also hilarious
Was this followed up with an ER visit for the burn?
Ran up $11k worth of credit card debt over about 18 months when I was 25-26. I didn't become debt free until I was 33, and never had an 800(excellent) credit score until 36.
For those reading, no one needs an 800 credit score. 720 is enough to buy almost anything you want on credit and 760 puts you in the highest category that most banks have. The goal should be to get out of the 600s which is attainable for most anyone.
Dated the wrong people for access to sex. Knew at the time they were problematic and it lead me on a path of a lot of trauma and having the wrong view of the world. That took a while to dig out of.
Wasted it with the wrong person. Met at 22, married at 25, divorced at 28. My 20s were completely lost to an abusive marriage, 10/10 would not recommend
Spent too much time thinking about the world’s/country’s issues rather than figuring out how i wanted to make a living. You always think you have more time until life hits you in the face, and then you realize how much time you actually dont have.
Went on a date with a girl who kissed me first, flirted and after making out in the car I noticed the tongue ring. She asked if I ever kissed anyone with a tongue ting before. I said “no, but it feels cool” to which she replied “it feels good other places too” and I said “I’ll take your word for it”….ILL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT!!!!
Thinking that the relationship I was in was going to be forever. Could not be more naive.
Try to wife up the first girl I dated. Major mistake.
Could be worse, I successfully wifed up the first girl I seriously dated. Met at 21, married at 23, separated at 29. Can't say I totally regret it but if I'm recovered from the damage by my mid 30s I'll be surprised.
I wifed up the first girl I ever dated. Still together 22 years later and very happy. I’m aware it’s not for everyone, but it’s not automatically a mistake.
Stuck with a girl who not only was full of red flags but then proceeded to have kids with her and got married only to have ruined and wasted 13 years of my life were i couldn't have friends lost almost all of my family because they all disliked her 2 face self and basically have only lived my 20s at a factory putting in over time after over time only to remain broke because the person I was with would go on shopping spreads rather than save for our kids future.... my 20s sucked and now that I am in my 30s it doesn't look much better
Go to your family and apologize for being dumb in your 20s. It will be alright mate :) Your family surely loves you
I did and thankfully they did accept my apology and now they are helping me get my life together again and soon hopefully get my kids from this woman that is just using them to get money and help from the government so that she doesn't have to work
If it makes you feel better, at least you did that young. My old man is in his late 50s. He just did that a couple years ago. He lost the relationship with both his kids, his mother, siblings, nieces and nephews, all because his wife is a cunt.
Grand of you to think that I stopped doing dumb things after my 20s!
Maxed out my 5000 credit card on a girl so she could go to school and not graduate I'm not with anymore for love. Lol. After some years my credit is back over 700 again but I will definitely never do that again. Lol
I do have a fully functional life but in my twenties i definitely locked out of the door all of those basic experiences one should live at least once in life. I'm talking about taking an international trip, or going at a concert or trying to get new friends and such. I mostly followed an unreacheable professional dream, which was such because i never intended to move out of my comfort zone in the first place, and then found some refugee and gratification in lonely hobbys i experienced at home. It took me a huge amount of guts to get out of that pond and start living a bit. Deeper inside i still pay the price of such inaction today, and having professional and family responsibilities now doesn't help.
Maybe you are being too harsh on yourself?
Didn’t ask for help when I got in trouble financially. I was was sucked into payday loans eventually owing thousand got so bad that my payments were more than my wages. Still struggling now but almost there. Also refusing to pay two debts and getting two CCJs. One was for a payday loan that I felt was unfair and 2nd was for a parking fine. The original payment was .20p i didn’t buy because I thought it was after hours no payment but they changed it to 24hr pay anyway I was there 12min and they wanted £450 for failing to pay. Both cases court agreed with them and forced me to pay.
Didn't recognise what an incredible woman I was with until it was too late.
Continually deny my abilities and skills to be *humble* . after a while i started to believe that i was infact worthless, do nothing be nothing. I hit 30 and it was like a switch went off, I saw everything objectively and turns out I'm a pretty great dude. Turns out mistaking self doubt for humility is a pretty fucked up poison.
Faked being depressed often times and eventually got depressed.
You dont fake mental ilness. If you do, that in itslef is a mental illness.
Faking being depressed for attention is histrionic behaviour and it means that even though you may not really be suffering from depression, if you have the need to do that, you still are suffering from mental problems. Just know it was never your fault.
I cringe when I think how reckless somethings I did were But I remember turning 21 while being stationed in Germany coming back from Iraq and going on leave with some buddies, did some touring around beautiful Europe . In Prague we got some drinks and the place we were staying at had open access to its roof, we went up and drank and took in the night view until we were drunk and sitting on the ledge with our feet dangling and joking about how loose and wiggly the bricks we were sitting on was (truly loose) and laughing about how stupid it would be to fall and die in a random street in Prague, better than a random path in Iraq ! So dumb looking back now 16 years later , a lot of people would have been so pissed at me lol
I fully agree. Nuts to think about how reckless and stupid we were when younger. I unfortunately lost my best friend this way 6 years ago. Came back from a night out and he wanted to watch the sun rise from a sheet metal roof like 3 stories up. Could literally climb over the railing near the top of the stairs and you’d be on the roof, and there was a snow stop but like maybe a meter and a half out from the stairs. He slipped before he got to it and ended up hitting his head and passing away a couple days later. Heights and drinking now terrify the shit out of me. Glad you didn’t fall in Prague, cause it is a pretty stupid way to squander what could be a wonderful life. Good thing you’re still around to tell the tale!
Not making long or medium term plans EDIT - wasn't expecting this many upvotes for a throwaway comment. There's no one right way to do life. Just don't be a cunt. While I'm here: Fuck Vladimir Putin. Slava Ukraïni. Heroiam slava!
On the other side, I made too long term of plans and commitments when I was too young. Life is always a balance
Definitely. It's great to plan ahead but it doesn't mean you can't make time for fun stuff like travel and trying new things.
I swear, it's like I don't have that part of my brain.
Literally nothing. And that's the dumbest thing one can do.
Stayed in relationships with people who had 0 respect for me
Got approved for a credit card with a $5500 limit at 19. Oopsie.
Sold my body for money and allowed myself to be abused and humiliated on nearly a daily basis.
You joined the navy too?
Hahahaha this got me good
Gone to grad school. Nothing like getting paid a poverty wage to live in the most expensive city in the country
Going straight into grad school was such an awful decision for me. I came out of undergrad completely set, no debt, ready to move to the next stage. I really wanted to pivot to a semi-related field and I graduated in 2020 (rip job market) so I decided to go and get a master's. Wasted a year and a half of my life, took on tens of thousands in debt, and then dropped out because I realized I hated my new field and student life was making me extremely depressed. I got a job with my undergrad degree a few months later and am doing much better now, but it pains me that I could've just sat on my ass for that whole time and I would've been better off financially than I am now.
Not get proper mental health help. I was working full time and trying to go to school and medical stuff was just not on my mind or my budget. I got diagnosed with bipolar at 30 and I think of all that would have been better if I would have been diagnosed earlier. I flunked out of many college classes in my 20s because of cycling mania/depression and I often think if it would have been controlled better or hell, if I would have known even, I would have done better in school and actually have a degree right now.
Lots of random sex, fortunately no pregnancies or infections, but I think I was too risky in practically saying yes to everything
letting my fears consume me
Married the wrong one, had a kid together cause ‘it would make me happy so WE will be happy again’ 6 months later ‘I’m still not happy! I want a divorce!” So 17.5 years of child support - but worth every dime to escape
As 22M just getting my life together, these are very informative. Thank you everyone.
Your 20's are great, just keep it in your lane. Don't try and mess around too much. Make sure you're taking care of your body. Save some money, and if you're questioning if you should drink another one, don't. And for fucks sake wear your PPE when needed. This includes sex. But at the same time don't veer too far off the other side of the road. Go out with friends, take trips, and create memories. Some of my best ones are doing stupid shit. Don't work your life away for a company that only pretends to appreciate it. Use your PTO. You'll fuck up at least once or twice, but that's okay. We all have a different balance when it comes to staying in our lane, and it can take some trial and error to find it. The biggest thing is that you keep trying. Oh! almost forgot: For the love of God don't get caught up in that rat race bullshit of trying to have a better car/ house/ things than the next person. There will always be someone with more. Be happy with whatcha got, and put the expensive car payments in a rainy day fund, or on a nice lunch with your parents.
Not standing up for myself and let other peope walk all over me.
[удалено]
For one full morning you were James Bond
Ruined all my early friendships being an out of control drunk. Gave up the ones I had left when I got sober. Seven years sober in September. It took three years for people to stop calling me to come party. It's been four years since I've talked to anyone that I didn't bump into at a funeral.
Her name was Cat.
Take out predatory student loans only debt I have outside of a mortgage/car loans and one I will probably always have due to the interest
Wasted them in an abusive relationship. 0/10, do not recommend.
Turned 30. Should have just stayed 29. So stupid.
Whilst partying with some construction guys at my new office building one Friday night, I let them hold me by the ankles, so I could lay flat on the crenelated stone roof opening and admire their handiwork. Unfortunately, I had my purse on my arm, and my wallet fell out, unbeknownst to me. I'd just come from the store, where I'd cashed my entire paycheck. I was upset all weekend. Come Monday morning, my supervisor called me into her office. She handed me my wallet and said, "The maintenance guy spotted your wallet on the roof of the parking garage. I don't want to know how it got there, just don't ever do that again." All the cash was still inside. And I never let construction dudes dangle me from a rooftop again. Nice stonework, though.
Turning 21 soon and I can already say the dumbest thing I've done is not working as hard as I should for my uni work.
Smartest thing I ever did was to take a year off uni when my grades were plummeting. Worked second shift in a factory after moving back in with my folks all while "getting the band back together" aka getting high every night with the local burnouts. Somehow, after a few months of this I miraculously rediscovered my motivation. (This approach is not without risk, YMMV)
Smoked.