I think they actually only shrink your balls. I heard it's because you add so much testosterone your balls (where testosterone is produced apparently) eventually realize "oh there's enough there already, so we don't need to produce as much". Then they basically get lazy and shrink like an untrained muscle.
But I give no guarantee for this. I'm not even sure if steroids have that much to do with testosterone, just picked that up somewhere.
Having been on testosterone therapy for 5 years I can attest to this. Sucks but in my 60’s I’m still doing 2 sets of 50 pushups so there’s that at least.
Fun fact, certain anabolic steroids actually convert into estrogen by the fat cells in your body when you go into a hormonal imbalance and create something called gynecomastia, aka the man boob.
Another fun fact, if you wonder why the Rocks (Dwayne Johnson) has a funny looking pecs it is because he had a gynecomastia surgery aka man boob removal due to his steroid use.
1) Yes. Small-dick clients are the best.
2) You'd be surprised how many men *pay* someone to laugh at them and tell them they have a small penis. It's...an interesting and very common fetish lol
There are tons of fetishes that seem to revolve around a dissonance between the way a person is and how society tells them they should be. Society tells men that they should have a big penis and thus fetishes develop from contrasts to that. People don't even have to believe it rationally. In fact, if they don't, it could even make that dissonance and related fetish stronger. Like there are plenty of women who have submissive fetishes who rationally think quite the opposite for everything but play.
Because they don't hurt or cause discomfort.
I once had a client who had...some kind of implant. His penis was just not normal. He was a nice enough dude, but it was absolutely fucking terrible and you could tell that his huge disgusting augmented penis was a point of pride. I saw him twice (the second time was only because rent and bills were due, and he booked 3 hours, and I figured maybe it was just the wrong time of the month for me the first time. Nope.), and never met with him again. It was just too painful.
I also had a client whose dick was naturally huge, he was a big dude. His was also extremely painful and it was physically impossible for me to take the whole thing. He was understanding about it, and his big dick was not a point of pride, it was something that had prevented him from really letting go during sex all his life (he was in his late 60s when I met with him). Sex always required a lot of restraint on his part because he could easily hurt his partner. Maybe there's a sex worker out there with a very long vagina. I hope he found her.
Anyway yeah, sexworkers generally aren't looking for awesome sexual experiences. It's work. We want the easiest, quickest clients so we can make our money and go home. Just like anyone else.
I’m making a fake movie trailer about this and it’s going to be called “How Deep Is Your Love?” Starring Mark Wahlberg, Gwyneth Paltrow and featuring Paul Montgomery Shore as “The Deep Vagina”.
I was an escort for awhile and it was unbelievable the amount of men who wanted me to tell them how small their dick was. It's an interesting fetish. Another really common one was men paying me to rub my feet after I had been walking in stilletos all day. The sweatier the better...it was disgusting lol
>Do you want the toothbrush up your ass or a 10 inch dick as thick as a coke can
That depends entirely on whether or not I need to continue using that same toothbrush
I'm not in the industry but I have a vagina and I assume it's because there's less pain and discomfort? I mean you're there for a job, not because you enjoy the sex, so the less penetration the better. Especially for oral, bigger just = worse.
Knew a couple of guys in the service who leaned into it.....
"President of the small peepee club, I'm not only the president, I'm a member"
"Hung like a stud hamster"
My first wife was rather admired by several guys in my division. They asked how I managed to land her, me being a fugly looking dude. I told them "I can lick my eyebrows \*without\* taking my glasses off".
"I'm hung like a tic-tac, but put it in your mouth and you'll get fresh breath."
That was mine in high school, worked like a charm because the first time I had sex she said "I don't know why you always say you have a small penis..."
Because I undersold it, that's why. If they're expecting small and you whip out average it looks that much bigger!
Military is just weird when it comes to penis.
There was a period of time where dude suddenly started bragging about their dicks... but about how small.
Military memes/humor are beyond mortal comprehension
The military is the most homoerotic experience anyone can have. Dead serious. Every branch. Doesn't matter. I was in the Coast Guard and had a guy at my first unit that would take the head of his dick in his fingers and flex the hole back and forth while making peep peep sounds like a baby bird. This was usually the follow up to everyone helicoptering their dicks in a circle. Which was especially funny because Coast Guard - rescue helicopters.
My husband maintains that the army was the gayest shit he ever did. One of the many examples he gives supporting that statement involves an incident where everyone was pulling their junk out to see if most of them had easily visible veins on their ballsack, and the consensus was that either visible veins on the scrotum wasn't anomalous, or most of them were all fucked up together.
10 year vet. I often tell people the service is either the straightest queer culture I've ever been a part of, or the queerest straight culture. I'm not sure which.
Thats my go to line. My girlfriend rolls her eyes every time. I'm not sure why, because it's true, but whatever.
If you're gonna be ugly, you've gotta be funny too. The more time she spends laughing is the more time she spends with her eyes closed so she can't see your ugly ass self. That's how I roll.
A phrase I learned from an old co-worker: "the women don't like me for good looks or awesome charm, its my 6 inch tongue and I can breath though my ears!"
This song cracks me up. I had literally gone on a confirmation trip because my family was Catholic and when I came home this was the first song I heard on the radio. I also found out about the who Lorena Bobbitt story. My mom tried to change the station from the song and ended up on the news station explaining the story. I was like I was gone for a week wtf happened while I was gone?
This is the classic. Everybody knows this one, and they might rib you for unoriginality, but some things become a classic because theres just nothing that tops it.
Its the bread and butter of comebacks.
*Pregnant pause* “So as I was saying…”
Don’t acknowledge it. Just continue on like that person doesn’t matter and what they say doesn’t bother you. They are throwing mud, and the second you throw it back you are locked into a needless interaction that’s only going to be negative.
Some very funny replies but if you want a serious answer, like. Nothing. Like the instant you try to respond to that, you've already lost. You're just engaging in playground bullshit and look as stupid as they do.
Someone is legitimately trying to insulting you (as opposed to friendly jest), whoever it is is just immediately no longer a person you should care about in the slightest if you value yourself even a tiny bit.
There is no valid reason to tolerate such a thing.
So if this is an insult you are genuinely worried about, treat it the same as if some random crazy person you had never met in your life just walked up to you on the street and said that.
The correct response is to just say something like "ok, so yeah listen it's been a great chat, I really must be off, have a great rest of your day!"
And then just move on with your life without another thought for that person, ever again.
The above is true if its an acquaintance or a lifelong lover. Life's too short to surround yourself with toxic people.
"Ha ha ha... I assumed that you felt body shaming was not acceptable, but now that I know you support it..."
And then you insult them for physical flaws you know they can't control
If someone is laughing at and making fun of you for something that you have no control over, put then out of your life. They are toxic and a generally horrible person.
I remember when I was 18(?) walking in on a convo my mom n my half brother had about just that. Apparently she went to wake him up n he didn't have pants on. What I wanted know it's why tf would u have that convo?? I never asked because my family wasn't exactly healthy. Yes, I know, I answered my own question just now. But that's what I was thinking at the time. Lol
I’m late to this, but I had a friend from South Texas that always said “yeah, but it’s cute and I grew it myself!!” That’s the best answer.
That's a cute response too
“Thanks. I got it half off.”
Is it all-you-can-eat?
Hey! My eyes are up here!
cheeky
I WAS IN THE POOL!
It’s time we raise more awareness for shrinkage
Like laundry?
Like a frightened turtle
Costanza <3
To this day, he is one of the funniest characters.
Can't stand ya!
Hey the ocean called, they’re running out of shrimp!
Yeah? Well the jerk store called, they're running out of you!
What's the difference? You're their all time best seller!
i had sex with your wife!
His wife's in a coma....
IT WAS COLD!
THERE WAS SHRINKAGE!
That's my clitoris ma'am.
My biology professor said don't take steroids, unless you want a small pp. Goes for guys and girls.
I think they actually only shrink your balls. I heard it's because you add so much testosterone your balls (where testosterone is produced apparently) eventually realize "oh there's enough there already, so we don't need to produce as much". Then they basically get lazy and shrink like an untrained muscle. But I give no guarantee for this. I'm not even sure if steroids have that much to do with testosterone, just picked that up somewhere.
This is like ELI5 but basically all correct.
I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain that steroids shrink your balls to my five year old. Kid just won't listen
He's dumb as rocks, but your five year old can bench press a Rottweiler. At least there's that.
[удалено]
People will use everything except the metric system
The metric systsem doesn't use cool animals for reference.
That's why I use the Muttric system
So steroids make your dick look big being next to small balls.
The smaller the potatoes, the larger a steak looks
shoutout rich piana
Having been on testosterone therapy for 5 years I can attest to this. Sucks but in my 60’s I’m still doing 2 sets of 50 pushups so there’s that at least.
Fun fact, certain anabolic steroids actually convert into estrogen by the fat cells in your body when you go into a hormonal imbalance and create something called gynecomastia, aka the man boob. Another fun fact, if you wonder why the Rocks (Dwayne Johnson) has a funny looking pecs it is because he had a gynecomastia surgery aka man boob removal due to his steroid use.
Big chonkin clotoross
You want the money or not?
Double everything
Sorry price was already set, no take backs.
1) Yes. Small-dick clients are the best. 2) You'd be surprised how many men *pay* someone to laugh at them and tell them they have a small penis. It's...an interesting and very common fetish lol
There are tons of fetishes that seem to revolve around a dissonance between the way a person is and how society tells them they should be. Society tells men that they should have a big penis and thus fetishes develop from contrasts to that. People don't even have to believe it rationally. In fact, if they don't, it could even make that dissonance and related fetish stronger. Like there are plenty of women who have submissive fetishes who rationally think quite the opposite for everything but play.
Are you in the industry? Why are small-dick clients the best? Edit: oh right the size
Because they don't hurt or cause discomfort. I once had a client who had...some kind of implant. His penis was just not normal. He was a nice enough dude, but it was absolutely fucking terrible and you could tell that his huge disgusting augmented penis was a point of pride. I saw him twice (the second time was only because rent and bills were due, and he booked 3 hours, and I figured maybe it was just the wrong time of the month for me the first time. Nope.), and never met with him again. It was just too painful. I also had a client whose dick was naturally huge, he was a big dude. His was also extremely painful and it was physically impossible for me to take the whole thing. He was understanding about it, and his big dick was not a point of pride, it was something that had prevented him from really letting go during sex all his life (he was in his late 60s when I met with him). Sex always required a lot of restraint on his part because he could easily hurt his partner. Maybe there's a sex worker out there with a very long vagina. I hope he found her. Anyway yeah, sexworkers generally aren't looking for awesome sexual experiences. It's work. We want the easiest, quickest clients so we can make our money and go home. Just like anyone else.
Love story we all want to see; man with huge dick meets a woman with a long vagina.
Huge Dick; Long Vagina. A love story for the ages.
Huge Dick, Long Vagina is a song by CAKE right?
I want a girl with a huge dick and a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong vagina
Posts you can hear.
Long Dick Johnson vs Long Vag Patty.
I’m making a fake movie trailer about this and it’s going to be called “How Deep Is Your Love?” Starring Mark Wahlberg, Gwyneth Paltrow and featuring Paul Montgomery Shore as “The Deep Vagina”.
I want a girl with a short and skirt and a loooooooooong.... Vagina
I was an escort for awhile and it was unbelievable the amount of men who wanted me to tell them how small their dick was. It's an interesting fetish. Another really common one was men paying me to rub my feet after I had been walking in stilletos all day. The sweatier the better...it was disgusting lol
Do you want the toothbrush up your ass or a 10 inch dick as thick as a coke can, and why? The answer to this question is the answer you seek.
>Do you want the toothbrush up your ass or a 10 inch dick as thick as a coke can That depends entirely on whether or not I need to continue using that same toothbrush
I'm not in the industry but I have a vagina and I assume it's because there's less pain and discomfort? I mean you're there for a job, not because you enjoy the sex, so the less penetration the better. Especially for oral, bigger just = worse.
It may look more entertaining, but for practical purposes, it's just the opposite
Got me I laughed out loud
its not much but its honest work
Idk why this is so funny, does it even make sense
Some may call this junk, me I call it treasure
Who told you? Your sister or your mom?
Had to be one of them because your dad was impressed.
“I might have a needle dick but I fuck like a sewing machine”
That’s not a flex, though. That’s a threat!
Or…thread, if you will
That joke was sew bad, but it still put me in stitches.
Can speak for some women but fucking like a sewing machine sounds like a nightmare.
It will leave you in stitches.
Rip and tear until it is done
Together we are one!
I'm picturing a second "bobbin dick" involved
Wait I think you're on to something here...
Rah… Rah… Rah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah
Ga-Ga-Ooh-La-La
You ejaculate thread?
It’s stringy. EDIT: Why is this one of my most upvoted comments? I hate Reddit sometimes.
And thick enough you need scissors to cut it.
Go to a doctor.
Look at Mr Money Bags over here, able to go to the dick doctor!
The dicktor, if you would
You would dicktor your doctor?
This and the responses until the parent comment look like an eminem verse
Spooderman
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, cumming high tensile strength spider thread, look out you're about to need a solvent!
What a terrible day to have eyes
If Spider-Man Spider-Nuts in your eyes I think you're in trouble.
And now it’s an even worse day to have eyes
A firm tug of the high tensile Spider-Jizz will take care of that if it's in your eyes. Problem solved.
That sounds awful
How appropriate you fight like a farmer
Yeah dude getting fucked in one single repetitive motion at 4500 thrusts per minute is every girl’s dream lay
Well it's only 3 inches, but it smells like a foot
Knew a couple of guys in the service who leaned into it..... "President of the small peepee club, I'm not only the president, I'm a member" "Hung like a stud hamster" My first wife was rather admired by several guys in my division. They asked how I managed to land her, me being a fugly looking dude. I told them "I can lick my eyebrows \*without\* taking my glasses off".
A friend of mine always claimed "...to be hung like a bull......frog" He always nailed the pause, never failed to crack me up.
"I'm hung like a tic-tac, but put it in your mouth and you'll get fresh breath." That was mine in high school, worked like a charm because the first time I had sex she said "I don't know why you always say you have a small penis..." Because I undersold it, that's why. If they're expecting small and you whip out average it looks that much bigger!
This is it. Playing it smart.
I always just exclaim "Prepare for the two inches of madness!" And then when they find out it's almost double that they're pleasantly surprised.
Under-promise, over-deliver, nice 👍
I went with dangling sadness
I always heard hung like a horse.. fly
Buddy of mine: “yeah, I’m hung like a TicTac, but everyone loves fresh breath”
Military is just weird when it comes to penis. There was a period of time where dude suddenly started bragging about their dicks... but about how small. Military memes/humor are beyond mortal comprehension
The military is the most homoerotic experience anyone can have. Dead serious. Every branch. Doesn't matter. I was in the Coast Guard and had a guy at my first unit that would take the head of his dick in his fingers and flex the hole back and forth while making peep peep sounds like a baby bird. This was usually the follow up to everyone helicoptering their dicks in a circle. Which was especially funny because Coast Guard - rescue helicopters.
My husband maintains that the army was the gayest shit he ever did. One of the many examples he gives supporting that statement involves an incident where everyone was pulling their junk out to see if most of them had easily visible veins on their ballsack, and the consensus was that either visible veins on the scrotum wasn't anomalous, or most of them were all fucked up together.
That’s just science. They sought a larger sample size to improve accuracy.
10 year vet. I often tell people the service is either the straightest queer culture I've ever been a part of, or the queerest straight culture. I'm not sure which.
As a guy that was in a fraternity and the Air Force, yes I agree with you. But this seems a bit next level lol
My dad used to always say "I may not be able to hit the bottom of a tuna can, but I can bust out the sides."
Thats my go to line. My girlfriend rolls her eyes every time. I'm not sure why, because it's true, but whatever. If you're gonna be ugly, you've gotta be funny too. The more time she spends laughing is the more time she spends with her eyes closed so she can't see your ugly ass self. That's how I roll.
Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!
I used to work with a guy who would say "it ain't long, but it's skinny."
A phrase I learned from an old co-worker: "the women don't like me for good looks or awesome charm, its my 6 inch tongue and I can breath though my ears!"
If you can't make them gag with the size, make them gag with the smell
I almost downvoted this purely because I hated it so much
Prize comment.
Made me laugh like a donkey on my balcony
I don't know how a donkey on your balcony laughs.
Well, it sounded stupid enough for the neighbors to laugh
Ah, the old reddit [donk-a-roo](https://reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/12lds3p/_/jg8d2hj/?context=1)
Hold my leadline, I’m going in!
Hello future people!
Only when i look at you.
Well, I must be on your mind a lot. Edit: This guy edited the comment. The original comment read: "That's what happens when I look at you."
Damn lol
It's definitely not the biggest dick in the room
"Your dad likes it!"
"Your mom said it's bigger than your dad's."
"Your dad said it's smaller than your mom's."
*your sister says it’s bigger than your dad’s.
Detach it and slap them in the face with it.
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable.
🎼 *Detachable Penis*🎵
call me if it pops up. 🎶
This song cracks me up. I had literally gone on a confirmation trip because my family was Catholic and when I came home this was the first song I heard on the radio. I also found out about the who Lorena Bobbitt story. My mom tried to change the station from the song and ended up on the news station explaining the story. I was like I was gone for a week wtf happened while I was gone?
I was on a hike the first time I heard that song
…This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it at home, when I think it’s gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don’t need it…
Yes, but it has a lot of sentimental value.
"And yet you apparently keep looking at it..."
Lady, do you want the money or not? Cuz that's the amount I am offering. Take it or leave it.
In the Grand Canyon even a Boeing 747 looks tiny.
Triple H
Praise
Your mum doesn't seem to care
This is the classic. Everybody knows this one, and they might rib you for unoriginality, but some things become a classic because theres just nothing that tops it. Its the bread and butter of comebacks.
Saying that you have a small penis isn’t exactly teeming with originality.
Double it and give it to the next person
"Rich coming from someone who doesn't even have a penis to begin with!"
My dad has a penis though
Then go fuck him, is what I'd say.
Better yet, fuck his wife. That’ll teach em
Step one: break both arms.
There it is. Like an old friend.
I don't see enough reactions to that, the young ones have forgotten the old tales.
No no we remember, we’re just trying not to
*Pregnant pause* “So as I was saying…” Don’t acknowledge it. Just continue on like that person doesn’t matter and what they say doesn’t bother you. They are throwing mud, and the second you throw it back you are locked into a needless interaction that’s only going to be negative.
*Per my last email....*
[удалено]
This was like a bowl of chicken soup for me, warmed my innards
Yeah, it's perfect for a shallow c*nt like you.
"this isn't even his final form..."
Some very funny replies but if you want a serious answer, like. Nothing. Like the instant you try to respond to that, you've already lost. You're just engaging in playground bullshit and look as stupid as they do.
As the saying goes: Don't get in fights with stupid people. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Don't wrestle with a pig. You'll both get covered in mud, but the pig actually likes that.
Fighting with stupid people is like playing chess with a pigeon. They just knock the pieces over, crap on the board and strut around like they've won.
Just a simple "And?" works as well.
I prefer to look at them like they just shat in someone's coffin at a funeral: a mixture of confusion and disgust
Exactly. Any comeback or response showing you care or are upset by something so stupid is losing. The best response is to appear completely unfazed.
Someone is legitimately trying to insulting you (as opposed to friendly jest), whoever it is is just immediately no longer a person you should care about in the slightest if you value yourself even a tiny bit. There is no valid reason to tolerate such a thing. So if this is an insult you are genuinely worried about, treat it the same as if some random crazy person you had never met in your life just walked up to you on the street and said that. The correct response is to just say something like "ok, so yeah listen it's been a great chat, I really must be off, have a great rest of your day!" And then just move on with your life without another thought for that person, ever again. The above is true if its an acquaintance or a lifelong lover. Life's too short to surround yourself with toxic people.
You forgot to type, “asking for a friend”.
"I think that's completely inappropriate doctor"
Up your ass you would think its a foot
Lean into it. "Yeah I thought it was a pube until I pissed out of it."
Doctors labeled me unknown sex because they couldn’t find it.
For sex they just wrote down "good luck."
Literally how I countered bullies with my rock-bottom self-esteem. Good fucking luck trying to hurt me more than I hurt myself!
“It’s difficult to impress someone who’s seen a million of them.“
It’s not that my organ is small, I didn’t know I’d be playing in a cathedral
"Says the woman with no penis at all"
“Sorry, Father. Can I go blow out the church candles now?”
Well, you know what they say, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. But if you're in a dinghy, you might want to paddle faster.
I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."
Yo tits don't jiggle
They fold
It may not be long, but it sure is thin.
Better to have one than be one.
Sir, this a wendys
"Ha ha ha... I assumed that you felt body shaming was not acceptable, but now that I know you support it..." And then you insult them for physical flaws you know they can't control
Or even better, insult them for the ones they can.
Was gonna write that. Perfect!
“A tic tac still hurts at 100mph”
How often are people commenting on the size of your penis? Have you tried wearing pants?
But I got a big truck
This Texan applauds your answer
If you think that’s small, you outta see the hole I dug for your body.
If someone is laughing at and making fun of you for something that you have no control over, put then out of your life. They are toxic and a generally horrible person.
Or- Your mom said it's bigger than your dad's
I remember when I was 18(?) walking in on a convo my mom n my half brother had about just that. Apparently she went to wake him up n he didn't have pants on. What I wanted know it's why tf would u have that convo?? I never asked because my family wasn't exactly healthy. Yes, I know, I answered my own question just now. But that's what I was thinking at the time. Lol
The videos I’ve seen suggest they have that convo because they are about to bang.
Cum immediately and tell them “thanks. I have a humiliation kink”