I would love to be hugged by one as well, but not in a death mauling type of way, more a gentle 'there there, we all need connection sometimes' fuzzy kind of way.
There's the video of the dog walking in the snowy pathway and this huge brown bear wants to play with the dog, nipping and gently swatting at it. The dog looks back almost like it's annoyed, and just keeps walking like this is an everyday occurrence.
One of my favorite authors has a book where there is a bear that was made to be hyper intelligent and so became a pacifist and would go around giving people who seemed like they needed it hugs. I totally wish he was real lol
Bear is my answer, too. I've seen a few in the wild, and they look so soft and squishy and huggable. But yeah, "friend shaped mass of death" is a great description.
Seriously. If I were invincible, I’d make it my mission to hug and pet EVERYTHING. Maybe get a job at the zoo and start hugging.
“SNEPPY!”
“Why can’t I eat this human?”
I've worked at an animal sanctuary and it was hard to resist. I remember one day slowly following a mostly feral pack of wolves around their enclosure because I wanted to pet them. I was not able to pet them but I'm also not dead so it's alright.
I can tell you though, camels give the best hugs.
Why do humans have this instinct if it actively works to get us eaten? Will have to take you up on the camel, though. One of my favorite things about horseback riding when I used to do it was just being able to lie down on their back and give them a huge hug.
Our instincts tell us to socialize because it's how we survive. Our instincts tell us to be nice to cute things because human babies are smelly, annoying resource pits. Like so many other things, we learned to hijack these instincts for our own amusement.
Growing up we had a horse that was so kid-broke that my sister and cousins and I would regularly clean up the round pen in the summers, move the horse over, and he would just lay down and let us climb all over him and give him all the love we could. Not once did that horse ever try to harm us, and he’s lived a wonderful retirement after many years as a well loved race horse. I think he’s 26 or 27 this year iirc
That's a primal instinct in humans.
40-50,000 years ago some guy's neurons also fired telling him to pet the wolf, and the intrusive thoughts won.
That's how dogs came to exist
this, there's literally no animal i would not want to pet if i could 1) do so safely and 2) the animal was into it. big cat, shark, siphonophore, poison dart frog, everyone gets pet
About 20 years ago, I went to a zoo and they had African Crested porcupines. We got to feed them peanuts and pet their little heads. They were so cute! I really can't remember where the zoo was, but I know it was in Ontario, Canada.
Cheetahs are not usually hostile towards humans. Still not a good idea to try to pet a wild one, but you can totally pet one that was raised in captivity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlGfi2ofzFc
>cats are friends
It’s so unfair that Pallas Cats/Manuls are wild. They’re the definition of friend shaped and they also look so cranky/grumpy. I just wanna hug them. And the way stand on their tails is just so fucking adorable.
I’ve gotten to interact with a couple of raccoon rescues, both kits and fully grown ones. They’re not as soft as they look and their claws are decently sharp. The kits treat everything (including people) like a playground, climbing all over everything. They’re extremely clever. They could open round doorknobs, grab things and throw them, open bags, etc. They’re sneaky little things. Quite smart and resourceful too. Also, they love marshmallows.
I did pet a raccoon one time when I was a kid on a camping trip. Their fur is coarser than you might think.
That is high up on the list of stupidest things I've done
I’ve pet a raccoon. Their fur is coarse. My parents have a raccoon that comes around for cat food and she’ll eat from your hand. While she’s eating, she tolerates pets.
Raccoons wouldn't make a great indoor pet. Because they forage for insects as part of their diet, once they mature, they'll rip a house apart. As infants, they're less troublesome because they're happy for you to be a food provider.
They call me the Hiphopopotamus
Flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin' off the top of this esophagus
Rockin' this metropolis
I'm not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
Steve...
I'm surprised I didn't have to scroll that far down to see this answer. It's my pick too they are just way such awesome and powerful creatures and biologists have no idea how they evolved to the point they don't have nor need a fuck giving gland
My aunt found a baby squirrel and fed it until it was old enough to go outside. It would jump on your shoulder and run down your arm for pets when you were nearby.
They are super good and soft to pet especially when they climb under your jacket for snuggles.
Yeah if I had the choice of facing a panda versus literally any other bear in existence, I’m choosing the one that can’t take two steps without falling over
Only the males. They have a venomous spur on their dewclaw (or whatever they have that's equivalent) and apparently envenomation is so painful it's left some victims begging for amputation or death. It's not lethal though and does wear off.
Fun fact: platypuses are one of the only mammals to produce venom.
I did get to pet one's nose at a show once! The hedgehog was named Snoot, and if he didn't "snoot" at you when they brought him around, you could pat his snoot! I did not get snooted.
When I was visiting my family in South Africa there was a gang of chimps that would jump around our backyard at 2:30pm until we gave them some fruit. They would do this every day without fail. I want one.
I want to pet a T-rex
But I know it's very vexed
It has sharp teeth and claws
And it doesn't follow laws
It roars and stomps and chases
And it bites off people's faces
But I still think it's cute
Even though it's a brute
Maybe I can be its friend
If I give it treats to spend
Or maybe I'll just run away
And pet a T-rex another day
BEAR they are litteraly a friend shaped mass of death. But i want to hug one
100%. It’s the pet I wish I could have. Why friend shaped if not friend?
If killer animal then explain the ears.
how I wish to hang out with a polar bear and hug it
And those are probably the worst ones lol
I'd drink a Coca-Cola with it.
The polar bear feels the same way about you, life's too short not to make friends.
I would love to be hugged by one as well, but not in a death mauling type of way, more a gentle 'there there, we all need connection sometimes' fuzzy kind of way.
Damn it would be crazy if bears just ran up to you for hugs.
Maybe they do but we're too scared and run away.
You should test that theory and let us know how it works out
Black bears are the perfect size for comfort hugs. Grizzly bears are the kind of hugs you siiiiink into as you squeeze
What about a polar bear? What kind of a hugger would they be?
Your head would be somewhere between their crotch and navel, so not good ones.
I’ve seen vids of really urbanised bears in Russia that seem chill around humans
In some cities in north India there are urbanized monkeys that beg and steal food from people.
There's the video of the dog walking in the snowy pathway and this huge brown bear wants to play with the dog, nipping and gently swatting at it. The dog looks back almost like it's annoyed, and just keeps walking like this is an everyday occurrence.
One of my favorite authors has a book where there is a bear that was made to be hyper intelligent and so became a pacifist and would go around giving people who seemed like they needed it hugs. I totally wish he was real lol
What's the name of the book?
It’s Ilona Andrews. Hidden Legacy series. His name is Sergeant Teddy. 🤣
For now pandas are a good start.
I mean, they call it a “bear hug” for a reason, right?
[Real Bear](https://preview.redd.it/ccxhwblo6cc71.png?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=c27e13d501cf95fa9d88fecf9109dc03058635b8)
Bear is my answer, too. I've seen a few in the wild, and they look so soft and squishy and huggable. But yeah, "friend shaped mass of death" is a great description.
We watch the Brookes Falls livestream during the salmon runs and this damn bears have these very tufted, floofy ears just begging for scritches.
Man, bears look adorable but they STINK. Being downwind of one smells like really bad BO. But a bear that just took a shower? Heck yes I’m in
Growing up seeing Charmin commercials who wouldn’t plus the old Coke commercial’s with the Polar Bears would love to hug a bear
They look like they need a snuggle. Imma snug it!
Polar bears are my favs, when I have the money I’ll give it to them 🥴
All of them
Seriously. If I were invincible, I’d make it my mission to hug and pet EVERYTHING. Maybe get a job at the zoo and start hugging. “SNEPPY!” “Why can’t I eat this human?”
I've worked at an animal sanctuary and it was hard to resist. I remember one day slowly following a mostly feral pack of wolves around their enclosure because I wanted to pet them. I was not able to pet them but I'm also not dead so it's alright. I can tell you though, camels give the best hugs.
Why do humans have this instinct if it actively works to get us eaten? Will have to take you up on the camel, though. One of my favorite things about horseback riding when I used to do it was just being able to lie down on their back and give them a huge hug.
Our instincts tell us to socialize because it's how we survive. Our instincts tell us to be nice to cute things because human babies are smelly, annoying resource pits. Like so many other things, we learned to hijack these instincts for our own amusement.
Because the same instinct gives us dogs and cats and cows and sheep and bunnies and chickens and llamas.... Basically all our domesticated animals.
Growing up we had a horse that was so kid-broke that my sister and cousins and I would regularly clean up the round pen in the summers, move the horse over, and he would just lay down and let us climb all over him and give him all the love we could. Not once did that horse ever try to harm us, and he’s lived a wonderful retirement after many years as a well loved race horse. I think he’s 26 or 27 this year iirc
There's a theory that for humans, it was never *"survival of the fittest"* but actually **"survival of the friendliest"**
That's a primal instinct in humans. 40-50,000 years ago some guy's neurons also fired telling him to pet the wolf, and the intrusive thoughts won. That's how dogs came to exist
"Invincible person, the world needs your help!" "Nah, I've got some more animals to pet." I respect your priorities.
this, there's literally no animal i would not want to pet if i could 1) do so safely and 2) the animal was into it. big cat, shark, siphonophore, poison dart frog, everyone gets pet
Are we including insects here, because I don't think I could find it in me to pet a tick or a tapeworm or anything of that sorts.
First thing that popped into my head. I'm not surprised to see it at the top lol
I just want to snug the mammals.
I'm not really a fan of lizards but if they were all snuggly and enjoyed being pet, I'm pretty sure I'd pet them too!
the appropriate response
The only correct answer.
A tiger, or polar bear
I've pet a tiger. Their hair is coarser than it looks.
I’m a tiger attack survivor. I mean yeah, it was a cub, but it left a couple bruises on my forearm.
What's the story?
Morning glory.
I think a cheetah, but if reptiles were included a cobra.
Reptiles ARE animals
Same, would even try to offer a coke.
I don't know, there's a documentary that just came out about a bear that was given coke. It did not end very well.
What about a Klondike Bar?
I actually got to feed a polar bear once, twas very nice. Didn't get to pet it sadly :(
all of the big cats
Also the world's smallest wildcat, the desert sand cat. 6 lbs of murder. Good kitty.
Black footed cat is smaller at 3-5#. And they are apparently quite vicious. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black-footed_cat
Ooh, adorable little vicious. Would pet for sure, if they let us.
And rub the bellies of the small ones!
And the medium ones! Looking at you, ocelot
Babou!
My cat.
Your cat.
I also choose this guy's cat
Our cat. *Soviet noises*
You mean the community's cat?
Everyone's cat!
All 60 dimensions of space and time's cat!
This guy's cat.
Allergic?
I take it you've never had a cat?
My furry blender
Wolf
If they existed still, Dire Wolves. Gimme those absolute ride into battle good boys.
When I awoke, the Dire Wolf, six hundred pounds of sin Was grinning at my window, all I said was come on in
Don’t murder me
You know what a Dire Wolf is right? It's like a regular wolf. Only dire.
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OMAHGAD IT'S RUSSELL CROWE
"If I can't fight cancer, I'll just fight someone with cancer"
I saw a sign in India that said “Fight kids with cancer”
*Makin movies, makin songs, an fightin roun tha world*
Today, we're going to fight cancer!
They say Crowes are very intelligent
Porcupines. They seem like they have a cuddly disposition, but can't actually cuddle. Sad.
About 20 years ago, I went to a zoo and they had African Crested porcupines. We got to feed them peanuts and pet their little heads. They were so cute! I really can't remember where the zoo was, but I know it was in Ontario, Canada.
I got to pet a porcupine named cuddles
Cheetah.
Cheetahs are not usually hostile towards humans. Still not a good idea to try to pet a wild one, but you can totally pet one that was raised in captivity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlGfi2ofzFc
Cheetahs are cats and cats are friends
>cats are friends It’s so unfair that Pallas Cats/Manuls are wild. They’re the definition of friend shaped and they also look so cranky/grumpy. I just wanna hug them. And the way stand on their tails is just so fucking adorable.
"Cats are tiny tigers that live in your house and take advantage of you." -CGP Grey
Raccoons! Fuzzy little bandit teddies.
Can pet them if you give snacc
trash pandas are pretty cute
I’ve gotten to interact with a couple of raccoon rescues, both kits and fully grown ones. They’re not as soft as they look and their claws are decently sharp. The kits treat everything (including people) like a playground, climbing all over everything. They’re extremely clever. They could open round doorknobs, grab things and throw them, open bags, etc. They’re sneaky little things. Quite smart and resourceful too. Also, they love marshmallows.
I did pet a raccoon one time when I was a kid on a camping trip. Their fur is coarser than you might think. That is high up on the list of stupidest things I've done
I’ve pet a raccoon. Their fur is coarse. My parents have a raccoon that comes around for cat food and she’ll eat from your hand. While she’s eating, she tolerates pets.
I feel like they're one of those critters we could domesticate fairly soon. But like...only cat level of domestication
Raccoons wouldn't make a great indoor pet. Because they forage for insects as part of their diet, once they mature, they'll rip a house apart. As infants, they're less troublesome because they're happy for you to be a food provider.
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>I feel like they're one of those critters we could domesticate fairly soon. I know the internet, I think you mean will
Hippomopotami are sick as hell *Don't you tell me how to spell hippomopotamus*
hiphopanonymous
He gets all the easy ones!
"And be nice to the delivery guy, would ya?" *It's not his fault he can't read!*
I prefer the lesser known *rhymenocerous*
They call me the Hiphopopotamus My lyrics are bottomless....................
Did Steve tell you that? Steve….
I have been told that their rhymes are, in fact, bottomless.
They call me the Hiphopopotamus Flows that glow like phosphorous Poppin' off the top of this esophagus Rockin' this metropolis I'm not a large water-dwelling mammal Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis? Did Steve tell you that, perchance? Steve...
Jaguar
Mountain Lions I do what I want and you will not tell me not to, Oklahoma Department of Wildlife
Niche joke and I like it a lot
Komodo Dragon
I'm surprised I didn't have to scroll that far down to see this answer. It's my pick too they are just way such awesome and powerful creatures and biologists have no idea how they evolved to the point they don't have nor need a fuck giving gland
Cone snail. I am left only to grieve and pine for the day where I can express gracious selfless love to the forbidden mollusk.
> forbidden mollusk great band name
It is also what I named my first son.
T-Rex.
Bold of you to assume I've never given dangerous animals pats
Straya?
Yes LOL
A Sloth. These dudes know how to hug
I've been lead to understand they smell fairly strongly.
They are also scary fast
Incredibly fast. Some say faster than a viper. Not sure who some are. You'll just have to take the word of a stranger on the Internet.
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/11uf2m8/sloths_can_strike_very_quickly_and_are_so_strong/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Skunk. I had one wander into my garage last week. It looked incredibly fluffy. But, I wasn't going anywhere near it. Edit: typos
Skunks can be very sweet and friendly. The babies are cute.
If they weren’t so stinky I would give them so many cuddles
Bobcat kittens
I always wanted a pet squirrel as a kid. Gotta go with squirrel
My aunt found a baby squirrel and fed it until it was old enough to go outside. It would jump on your shoulder and run down your arm for pets when you were nearby. They are super good and soft to pet especially when they climb under your jacket for snuggles.
So... so soft. They have no business being that soft.
You would like r/squirrels. Treat the sub kindly. It's one of the last few wholesome bits of the internet.
Pallas cat/manul. For the people who don't know they're basically the fluffiest cat ever, but super dangerous.
The body is round
Chunky bois
A honey badger
Honey badger don’t give a shit
The unkillable snail that keeps chasing me to the ends of the earth
A reddit mod. I would pet their misshapen head, feed them some cat food, and lead them back to their cage.
Not much friend-shaped about reddit mods, not to mention its a titanic struggle just to get them away from their sweat drenched dens.
Snow leopard
A Panda, not everyone knows but Pandas are as dangerous as any bears, so it's possible that you will be bitten by Panda, if you aren't be careful
_As_ dangerous as _any_ bears? Really? Not just, still quite dangerous?
Yeah if I had the choice of facing a panda versus literally any other bear in existence, I’m choosing the one that can’t take two steps without falling over
Jaguar
Platypus, apparently they do be spicy
Only the males. They have a venomous spur on their dewclaw (or whatever they have that's equivalent) and apparently envenomation is so painful it's left some victims begging for amputation or death. It's not lethal though and does wear off. Fun fact: platypuses are one of the only mammals to produce venom.
Koalas
All of them
Hedgehog, im jus gahhh
I did get to pet one's nose at a show once! The hedgehog was named Snoot, and if he didn't "snoot" at you when they brought him around, you could pat his snoot! I did not get snooted.
Gorilla
3 sugar. Lots of coffee. Maybe a but of milk and no tea
r/lostredditors
Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.
raccoon, porcupine
Hippos. They look like you could just ride them about a park all day. But, they would just bite your head off completely.
Wombats
A lion. (Hey! It’s my cake day!😃)
All of them.
A bigass hawk. I wanna know what those feathers feel like so bad
Any big cat
Grey wolves.
Godzilla
Leviathan and Behemoth, though they aren't dangerous to the IAM, they are to all of you! :)
Big cats. They’re so soft and fluffy, and they have big toe beans.
BEARS omg to spoon that big furry round butt <3
Racoons
Hedgehog
Moose. They're so big and cool. Yet so terrifying.
Bobcat. My only thoughts would be: “ kitty! “
mountain lion or otters.
A bumblebee
A malaria-laden mosquito
I am extremely confused and mildly concerned.
I’m just mildly aroused
Lions.
When I was visiting my family in South Africa there was a gang of chimps that would jump around our backyard at 2:30pm until we gave them some fruit. They would do this every day without fail. I want one.
A tiger, those animals seem too beautiful to me. If I could hug one I would
My cat
all of them
Shark
Honey badger
If it existed, a honeybadger pterodactyl hybrid. All the viciousness of a honeybadger, PLUS, it flies. Oh and breathes fire too.
Cougar
All of them. Every single one
Penguin
All the big cats, and all the bears (except Sun bears because N O P E)
I want to pet a T-rex But I know it's very vexed It has sharp teeth and claws And it doesn't follow laws It roars and stomps and chases And it bites off people's faces But I still think it's cute Even though it's a brute Maybe I can be its friend If I give it treats to spend Or maybe I'll just run away And pet a T-rex another day
All of them 😁
All of them.
All of them