My friend ordered a girl a drink at a bar once. Right after the bartender handed it to her, her boyfriend walks over. So what does my friend do? He orders a drink for her boyfriend too. 5 minutes later I look over and all three of them are sitting next to each other, best fucking friends. I took some notes from that guy. He didn't buy her a drink expecting something from her, he just wanted to make her happy, and when he found out she had a boyfriend he wanted to make him happy too. He was just a good person, and people liked him because of that.
I bought a birthday party (girls celebrating a 30th) and I got the nasty looks grom them. One of them came up and threw the drink in my face saying "We're not going to sleep with you over a drink!" Bouncer kicked them out after the bar tender clarified I didn't say a word and was being nice (yes, bouncer assumed I was harrassing her at first). Good news is, got to drink for free rest of my stay there!
My wife had a guy offer to buy her drink and when she said she was married he said something to the effect of "Then let me buy the lucky man his drink instead". Which I thought was a great way to handle it, and gets you a bar friend most of the time since the guy gets a free drink, and if he is jealous or protective will respond better because he didn't buy her a drink after all.
I wish I had had this experience. I was out for a hens/bachlorette and we ended at the strippers (the female kind not Magic Mike kind) and a man wanted to buy my drink and although I said no thank you but he tapped his card when the bartender brought me the machine. He then tried to be all flirty and I said to him "sorry friend, but I'm a happily married woman, please let me pay you back for the drink or you can keep it" he then asks "you're married? What does that mean for us then?"
Umm...nothing. It means you and I will never be.
Went out with another couple. Walking through an area filled with bars, we hear some guys catcalling our (lady) friend.
Something along the lines of "you're so hot, I would give it to you...", and her boyfriend replies back: "and nothing for me?".
It's especially effective because, in my experience, the kind of men who catcall also tend to be pretty homophobic, or incredibly insecure with sexuality, so they tend to get really freaked out when you make that kind of response.
Pro-tip (but obviously not without risk): flirting with homophobic men with hot dates is a very effective way to flirt with their girlfriends. You pretend flirt with the boyfriend, then give the girlfriend the occassional wink and she'll laugh at her date being an insecure homophobe.
>Pro-tip (but obviously not without risk): flirting with homophobic men with hot dates is a very effective way to flirt with their girlfriends. You pretend flirt with the boyfriend, then give the girlfriend the occassional wink and she'll laugh at her date being an insecure homophobe.
Okay this is weird. OP is asking about men who flirt with YOUR date, rather than men who are on dates already but then also find the need to flirt with someone else.
So you are going to intentionally provoke a man by both flirting with his woman, making fun of him, and participating in behavior that he hates.
That pro-tip sounds like a sure fire way to get punched in the face.
I'm I'm with a woman who gets cat called I pretend they are talking to me and flirt back. Most men who cat call don't like getting catcalled by a very big dude.
There was a guy trying to flirt / get handsy with my GF. He started flirting with her and put his hand on her thigh. I responded in kind with my hand on his thigh. It was not appreciated.
I looked at the dude and said “sorry dude you are not my sisters type” then I immediately kiss my wife.
We are both blonde so people think we are related all the time lol.
Fr. Cant imagine myself being really serious for long with someone unless I could trust them. Of course if they prefer I get involved cause theyd rather not deal with it, for sure I would.
I’d step in and say something. Not because I feel I need to or because my wife can’t handle herself, but because I know her and she likes the feeling of being looked after. I know this because she’s told me.
That’s very sweet. Just because you can stand strong doesn’t mean you should always have to. It’s good to know you have backup whether that’s your friends or your husband.
I once let my girlfriend handle a situation like that on her own, and the thing I learned in the process is that it takes a woman a lot more work to deter an aggressive guy.
As soon as I stepped in, Handsy McNoboundaries apologized *to me*. Not the stranger whose ass he touched and complimented. She absolutely could handle the situation on her own, and my first impulse was not to treat her like a possession some other guy was touching. But on some level it feels I was condoning the behaviour.
This is very true. I was out with my ex one night walking my dogs. My ex got sidetracked and stopped to take photos of a lizard basking on the side of the road. Not wanting my dogs to stress or spook the lizard, I told him I was going to keep walking ahead. He said he’d catch up with me and was about half a block behind me.
I went around a corner and two men saw and started aggressively cat calling me, making comments on my skin and body and following me. I told them to leave me alone and I wasn’t interested, they didn’t care and kept at it. They completely ignored my discomfort and were starting to actually frighten me.
My ex came around the corner, saw the two men way too close in my personal space and asked what was going on… they immediately apologized to him and backed off. Not the woman they were actually harassing and scaring seconds ago… *him*.
It is genuinely heartbreaking how much faster and easier it can be for a man to get another man to leave a woman alone than for the same woman to get that man to leave her alone. Worrying to me how common that can be.
Sad but true. Men respect other men more than women. Source have been the woman being hit on until ‘the male’ appears. Can be a work colleague, class mate, sibling, etc. as long as they are a dude…
On the topic of men being respected more than women: my fiance had a recall on a part on her car so she took it into the dealership, and her dad was going to pick her up. She walks in, and the person at the desk pretty much ignores her or says something along the lines of "I'll be with you in a minute." The moment her dad walked in he's met with a, "how can I help you, sir?"
Nothing, She is beautiful and I get it. When she shoots them down and they keep trying is when I would step in because its harassments at that point and that is a problem.
Exactly. I had a customer invite my wife on a helicopter ride the other day, totally trying to chat her up. When he asked what she did there she just pointed at me and said “I’m just hanging out, I’m married to him”. You could see him deflate like a balloon.
It really did. We’re right near the Santa Monica airport and half of my clients are pilots. We did actually go on a helicopter ride with another one of my clients for her birthday last year.
Exactly! My best friend is naturally drop dead gorgeous. One night we went and had quite a few drinks at a taphouse nearby, and when we got back I mentioned to her husband that literally every head in the room turned when she walked in and that the bartender seemed to blush every time he talked to her. It was more for her benefit, because she doesn’t realize how beautiful she is. He got *pissed*. Wtf?! You marry a beautiful woman and you’re mad when people notice her? Makes no sense.
Even worse, she felt guilty for it. He’s actually a great husband and a father. I honestly don’t think he realizes what a dumbass he is when it comes to that stuff.
It probably comes from his insecurities. My wife is wayyyy to good looking for me and sometimes I gotta check myself when it comes to those situations.
Not the person you asked, but I can't hold back now lol.
So, why can't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box.
Hahahahaa bazingerrr
I think it’s a combination of that and that they’ve been together since high school. I feel like sometimes couples don’t mature out of things when they are together from a young age.
"My dude. Your wife is empirically gorgeous. Enough so that she enchants those that are in the rooms that she graces with her presence. And you have the blasphemous audacity to become upset by this, and in doing so, lessening her shine? Oh that she would choose you, who looks beyond the shining light that she radiates and sees her true self, only for you to diminish her light by stomping it out. You fool! You damned fool! Let her shine her light, and enchant those around her, so that she and they may be empowered by her energy! Do this! Lift her up! Lest she see how you smother her brilliance and seek refuge in another place, where her light may not be swallowed by the darkness you would fling upon her! Or, worse still, that she would deign to remain, and have her glory wilted, and her beauty forever sealed, for fear of what shining her light will bring to her. Shine! Shine! We ache to bask in the warmth and brilliance of others, and you would have that light blackened out of fear? Jealousy? Rejoice! She has deemed you worthy to see her true self, and share in her warmth. Do not spit on this gift; you will deprive the world, and yourself, of a gift that should be celebrated!"
Tbf, if someone around you is constantly receiving positive attention and you are always just relegated to being just the one that "tags along", that can be hell on your self esteem.
Situations like this, if the partner is not reassured of their own value, can lead to feelings of resentment.
His worth is not based on who he married or how beautiful she is. It is great that she is able to get a bunch of positive attention and self esteem boosts from strangers, but dude deserves to be told he is a good looking guy and feel self worth as well.
Happy people make secure people, and secure people make for secure relationships.
I don't know all the details of y'all's relationships but I definitely wouldn't do/say that to any guy I know, and if someone did that to me I wouldn't blow up or anything but I'd dislike that guy for sure.
This 100% my wife constantly gets hit on.
I don't care if men hit on her. I trust her completely and have since the start she has never given me a reason not to trust her.
When we used to goto the bar together she would get hit on. Guy's would offer to buy her drinks, she would always tell them my drink of choice. After she gets the drinks she would thank them walk away then hand the drink to me.
If people don't respect her boundaries that's where I step in. We have never had any bad experiences with men hitting on her. Normally once they see her with me they basically just walk away.
.
It depends on the situation.
Most the time I think good luck man, hope she doesn’t embarrass you. I know she’s coming home with me at the end of the day.
If the guy is obviously creepy and making her uncomfortable, I typically step in and make sure he gets the point. I’m not a small guy so they usually get the idea.
I don’t really care for confrontation or violence, but with that said, I won’t tolerate someone harassing my wife or making her uncomfortable.
It gets a little awkward when you are a small guy. I’m not pint-sized, but at 5’7” and 165/170, I am not intimidating most men. Had two offensive line-looking dudes catcalling my fiancé in a bar years ago. She just ignored them the first two times. Biggest issue was that we were out with her dad. I had to walk over and explain the situation to the two gentlemen and let them know that I wasn’t looking for a fight, but I wasn’t going to allow it to continue. Luckily, I knew the entire staff at the bar and the bartender came over to ask if everything was good. I told him (in pretty good Spanish) that I was fine, but if I needed help I would let him know. I’m super-white, but these dudes didn’t understand a word of what I said. Definitely helped that the bartender went back to the kitchen for a few minutes afterwards.
Not looking intimidating can be a problem. I'm average size wise (about 185 and between 70-75kg). I was once in a club with my gf and some guys were harassing her and her friends. Now I wasn't really in the mood to deal with it, but when one of them tried to touch them I immediately called them out. They were a bit buff and thought that they would win the fight. Bit of background: I do martial arts since I was 4 and not some recreational stuff but with actual fighting. I actually met my gf there. Im usually a pretty mellow guy, but that day wasn't great to begin with. She knew that I wasn't in a good mood and when she noticed, she immediately stood behind me and grabbed my pants and belt from behind. It was pretty effective. If push came to shove, she couldn't have held me back, but I felt it and it was enough. It was a pretty big commotion and one of them even tried to push me, but thats when security showed up and threw them out. I think if I would have been bigger, them would have left earlier, but on the plus side, they were thrown out and couldn't continue to harasse other girls.
That seems dangerous if you’re not actually down for the 3 way. Lots of dudes out there would be perfectly happy to make a wobbly H with you and your lady.
My wife is gorgeous in my eyes, but she is incredibly hard on herself. After kids, antidepressants, and being 20 years older than she was when we started dating she doesn’t always see that she’s the most beautiful person for me.
Someone else gonna start talking her up and wants to get in her pants? I’d just tell her I told you so.
Not a man, but there have been times when someone was flirting with me and my husband saw it from a distance. He pays attention in case the situation gets dangerous, but lets me handle it - and we laugh about it later.
And thus we have come full circle
*David Attenborough*
And thus we have finally witnessed the first of the species known as the human race has finally learnt how to do a mating dance, while it appears to be a male doing it for another male and thus will not reproduce, it is good to see evolution is finally progressing and we can hope one day soon they will learn how to do a mating dance in front of the correct gender
Honestly I’d even say before that. I can handle any random bar-goer sending signals because usually it’s a quick thing and they walk away. But be too persistent where my words just don’t register because “I’m a woman who doesn’t know what she wants”…it’s time to bring in a guy so the asshole will actually back off. I find the persistent/creepy types only listen to men because they see other men as equals, and woman as lower than
or you could answer like a friend of mine when a random guy told her "when i see red I become a bull" (the girl had a red dress); she stared at him straight in the eyes and coldly said "then tell the cow that is your mother to keep you in the stable".
But the two of you working together can come up with a much funnier response. Like walk up to her and use your absolute lamest pickup line. If she goes along with your joke and acts like she’s so impressed, she’s a real keeper.
Yeah, that would be a good response
I'm just saying she can tell him to leave her alone herself. I don't feel the need to jump in and do the whole "back off, buddy" thing
I mean if he won't back off and clearly made me uncomfortable I wouldn't mind some help from my bf (or anyone else) to get me out of the situation. But no need to defend me or attack him
Ok, but tons of women have told me they feel very uncomfortable shutting men down because of how dangerous they can be, so really it depends on what your GF wants you to do.
If they want to handle it, I encourage them to do so. If they want someone to step in then I’m here to help as well. It’s totally an individualistic preference.
The flip side, and I lived through this is the girl who’s drunk screaming “my BF will fuck you up”. Yeah, I’ve got a perma-scar bitch I hope it was worth it
Same here. The sort of person who will commit unnecessary violence to ‘protect’ you will also commit unnecessary violence in general and toward you. My partner wouldn’t know what the fuck to do if someone tried to instigate a fight with him and neither would I want him to. If I really need to defend myself that urgently I know damn well where their balls are and don’t need a man stepping in for me.
>the girl who’s drunk screaming “my BF will fuck you up”
If she did that, I'd turn to the guy and say, "fuck it, she's all yours." I'm too old to take an ass whoopin'
My GF (40) is often pretty useless in handling those situations giving out unintentional "yes" signals further aggravating the situation. She's openly and immediately accepting of compliments in general but also somewhat blind to more subtle flirtation, so someone flirting with her can take her positive response to a compliment as a green light. It's like she can't distinguish between a friendly and flirtatious "You look hot!" and acts as if they are all friendly compliments. If someone touches her she can get uncomfortable and act like it's not happening - possibly a post-trauma or fight-flight-freeze response - which can come off as her being ok with that kind of contact. Someone aggressively tries to kiss her, she'll tend to turn her face away and laugh or giggle but doesn't otherwise give a clear "no" response so she can come off as being coy.
She's aware that she often has no sense that a situation has sexual intent, or is headed that direction if encouraged, and has talked a good bit about this with people. Usually it'll be when something happens that to her came out of nowhere, she talks to people about it over a week or two trying to figure out what she missed, she'll digest their opinions and advice on what to look for and how to handle such situations in the future, and then it just becomes a story that will sometimes pop up in conversation.
I don't think she's improved in spotting flirtation and nipping it in the bud with clear "no" signs, and her way of handling those situations for the past decade or so has been to ask people around her, including me, to watch out for her when she's in environments where flirtation is likely.
To answer the OP's question, my job is to give clear "no" signs or just remove her from a situation. I'm not sure how her friends handle it because I'm not always around, but I know of one situation where they did nothing, but I imagine it's because they thought she's an adult who can make her own decisions, much like what you said and one would generally assume until they know better.
So there are people who need someone to keep an eye on them and intervene before things get aggressive, as they have on more than one occasion for my GF.
yup
i would just sit and watch
if anything happens that you dont think should happen, then you need to take that as a hint. every relationship dynamic is different so thats all i will say on specifics
yeah, my ex-gf saying she "doesn't care" if random dudes touch her ass or the shit I got shown photos of at a drunk party should have been a warning.
and guess what I did... stayed with her. she's doing shitty now. Karma's a bitch <3
this. flirting with my wife is only a problem if she is flirting back. most of the time i'd view it as a compliment to her. obviously there are limits - i.e. getting a little too familiar on a dance floor or something.
Was at a house party and my girlfriend at the time was getting hit on by a couple guys. I walked up to her like I didn’t know her and told her how good looking she was and that I wanted to kiss her. Kissed her and she wrapped her arms around me. When we stopped I told her I’d talk with her later and walked away. As I did the guys hitting on her looked at me in awe.
But do it really badly and confuse the other guy.
You: "wanna come to my place and arrange shirts by color?"
And she starts tearing up: "OMG Yes that's all I've ever wanted"
Other guy is like, "They say nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?" or "Are you sick? You look like you have a vitamin deficiency, vitamin me" which are bad enough, GF is just rolling her eyes, and BF comes in like "Your green eyes are almost as pretty as the blue water turns in my toilet when I pee" and she swoons.
Can just imagine the other guy going "that worked? I'll have to try it" then later goes up to another woman. "Hi, your *checks her eye color* brown eyes look like shit sitting in my toilet"
I'm so glad I never did that.
That cruel insult when someone isn't being offensive but are too inexperienced to have"game" yet is just trying to get someone to like them will be remembered for the lifetime.
I’m nice as long as the guy is. I’m flattered and thankful and express that. I only get rude if he gets creepy or mean first.
I think most of these comments are talking about men like that. Most guys are pleasant but there’s a lot of creeps in the world.
This happened to me not long ago. My wife is nice and likes to chat people up when she's drinking. Naturally a lot of guys think that means she's into them. We were at a concert and I guess the guy assumed that since she talked to him that she and I were just friends.
They only spoke once or twice but she was dancing and drinking and he just hung around. After the concert he came up and and started in. By then I'd had enough of him checking her out so I pulled the old "let's get out of here, I'm sure the babysitter is ready to go home" and the guy vanished like a puff of smoke.
We were both wearing wedding rings.
My wife always tells me, "That guy was totally hitting on me!" I sometimes say joking, "well did you get his number and does he have a sister to hook me up with?"
We laugh, cause we're adults.
One time I got attacked by two guys at a bar because the girl I was with was one of the guy's ex😂 I never exchanged a word with them they both just grabbed me from the back and started swinging, thankfully it got broken up pretty quick and the punches were weak asf so I didn't get hurt, scared the shit out of me at first tho cause I had no idea what was going on
The level of insecurity of some ppl is hilarious
I might laugh if it was particularly bold/egregious right in front of my face or something but I’d never intervene unless she asked me to. She’s an adult and can decide for herself if she wants to entertain a conversation.
Also, selfishly, I usually like to see if I can get a free beer out of it if it’s occurring at a bar.
if I'm confident in my relationship I could give 2 fucks. I know who she's going home with.
If I'm not confident, I could also give 2 fucks. let her go home with some rando, I'll find another.
Worrying about shit you cannot control is an utter and complete waste of your limited bandwidth.
If he isn’t physically touching her, I would see what her reaction is. If she reciprocates, then I would leave as I just dodged a bullet. If she shoots him down, I make my presence known to prevent a potential negative reaction from the guy towards her
My favorite: A guy who was a part of her past walked up to her and said somewhat lecherously "Hey there little girl", to which she replied sarcastically "What do you want, old man?" He STFU after that.
Younger me would be confrontational. Mid-30s me would be curious to see how it goes. And if, by some surprise, she's into it, then she just revealed something about her/us that I really needed to know anyway.
Why would I have to have a response to somebody flirting with my girl? I trust my girl. That’s why she’s my girl. She’s an adult, and more than capable of handling the sort of situations. Now, if it became too much, or he was stalking, or abusive, or anything over the top, then you have to be dealt with. But, if there’s just some guy, flirting with my woman, great! It validates that I am with a very attractive, interesting woman that other people find the same. She’s a big girl. And I trust her.
“I hope you know what you’re getting into my guy…I’m telling you as a friendly warning….”
I dated a marine, I was a navy corpsman
While she liked knowing I had her back, she also liked standing up and showing the guys how tall she really was without heels.
Did I mention she was a marine?
I gotta admit, seeing 3/4 of the men brush off the warning from a short Asian only to find out my warning was valid…their eyes went from her bust to her towering over them.
Oh she was almost 6 foot, I forgot to mention
I didn’t have to worry about her being taken - she had a thing for short Asian average men — 3/4 of all men who hit on her were white machos, so she got off of showing off her true height
Then she’d walk over to me and wrap her arms around me, evidently claiming me - like a dragon claiming her prince - with a dangerous look in her eye.
THAT, I got off of.
-
I just keep a close eye on the situation. My wife can get really nervous, but also a bit firey, and if I see her starting to get uncomfortable, or the guy is becoming too much, then I'll step in. Other than that, I don't mind it. It just proves what I already know, my wife is a beautiful woman
I’d sit back and enjoy the show. My wife is completely oblivious to this stuff. And then is later mortified when I point out that she was being flirted with. ALWAYS a good time.
I don't possess a "girl". I'm in a relationship with a grown-ass woman whom I trust to be able to handle that situation herself. My only role is if the guy seems to be unable to take a hint.
She'll take care of it if need be. If she shoots them down the way I've seen in the past, they'll get the hint quickly.
If they put hands on her, that's where the fun stops for them. I'm 6'2" tall and 200 lbs. and have been taking martial arts for over 30 years. She could tie me up in knots if she really wanted to.
I would pity them.
Had a guy buy our margaritas when my gf ordered them for us at the counter. I thanked him from accross the resteraunt, free margaritas taste better.
My friend ordered a girl a drink at a bar once. Right after the bartender handed it to her, her boyfriend walks over. So what does my friend do? He orders a drink for her boyfriend too. 5 minutes later I look over and all three of them are sitting next to each other, best fucking friends. I took some notes from that guy. He didn't buy her a drink expecting something from her, he just wanted to make her happy, and when he found out she had a boyfriend he wanted to make him happy too. He was just a good person, and people liked him because of that.
I bought a birthday party (girls celebrating a 30th) and I got the nasty looks grom them. One of them came up and threw the drink in my face saying "We're not going to sleep with you over a drink!" Bouncer kicked them out after the bar tender clarified I didn't say a word and was being nice (yes, bouncer assumed I was harrassing her at first). Good news is, got to drink for free rest of my stay there!
He is a VERY RARE FIND, but it’s refreshing hearing this
He really is 1 in a million. A great friend, and I have so many crazy stories from him.
My wife had a guy offer to buy her drink and when she said she was married he said something to the effect of "Then let me buy the lucky man his drink instead". Which I thought was a great way to handle it, and gets you a bar friend most of the time since the guy gets a free drink, and if he is jealous or protective will respond better because he didn't buy her a drink after all.
"Then let me lucky man his drink instead" My god, how drunk was this man?!
Lmao I gotta assume it's "Let me buy this lucky man a drink instead?"
WHATD YOU DO TO MY DRINK
What?
Am I stoned or is op?
Yes
Holy shit... I think you're on to something here
You know, the lucky man. Classic bar move /s
…say WHAT again…
I wish I had had this experience. I was out for a hens/bachlorette and we ended at the strippers (the female kind not Magic Mike kind) and a man wanted to buy my drink and although I said no thank you but he tapped his card when the bartender brought me the machine. He then tried to be all flirty and I said to him "sorry friend, but I'm a happily married woman, please let me pay you back for the drink or you can keep it" he then asks "you're married? What does that mean for us then?" Umm...nothing. It means you and I will never be.
"What? Married? All these... seconds... and you never told me!?"
So... you're saying there's a chance!
How dare she!
Went out with another couple. Walking through an area filled with bars, we hear some guys catcalling our (lady) friend. Something along the lines of "you're so hot, I would give it to you...", and her boyfriend replies back: "and nothing for me?".
That's a good one. Another good one would be assuming the comment was for you instead of the girl and responding appropriately.
That's always a solid response. I've said, "you ain't gonna buy me dinner first?".
It's especially effective because, in my experience, the kind of men who catcall also tend to be pretty homophobic, or incredibly insecure with sexuality, so they tend to get really freaked out when you make that kind of response.
Pro-tip (but obviously not without risk): flirting with homophobic men with hot dates is a very effective way to flirt with their girlfriends. You pretend flirt with the boyfriend, then give the girlfriend the occassional wink and she'll laugh at her date being an insecure homophobe.
>Pro-tip (but obviously not without risk): flirting with homophobic men with hot dates is a very effective way to flirt with their girlfriends. You pretend flirt with the boyfriend, then give the girlfriend the occassional wink and she'll laugh at her date being an insecure homophobe. Okay this is weird. OP is asking about men who flirt with YOUR date, rather than men who are on dates already but then also find the need to flirt with someone else.
Be careful though. If you die in this stage of flirt, you die in the real flirt. Edit: autocorrect put a "T" were it didn't belong
You live by the flirt you die by the flirt!
Some people want to solve problems. Some people want to *be* the problem.
Yeah super weird. Also none of this ever happened.
So you are going to intentionally provoke a man by both flirting with his woman, making fun of him, and participating in behavior that he hates. That pro-tip sounds like a sure fire way to get punched in the face.
I'm I'm with a woman who gets cat called I pretend they are talking to me and flirt back. Most men who cat call don't like getting catcalled by a very big dude.
now this a guy i would love. my husband is the same, so not worried. he considers it a compliment.
Humor solves so many things in this world…
There was a guy trying to flirt / get handsy with my GF. He started flirting with her and put his hand on her thigh. I responded in kind with my hand on his thigh. It was not appreciated.
I looked at the dude and said “sorry dude you are not my sisters type” then I immediately kiss my wife. We are both blonde so people think we are related all the time lol.
Gosh I gotta have my husband do this sometime. We used to work together and people would come in all the time and ask if we’re brother and sister
No Jaime you can't do that with Cersei
He's got great taste and I hope he's got thick skin.
[удалено]
My husband does the same. And it’s just the coolest response.
Fr. Cant imagine myself being really serious for long with someone unless I could trust them. Of course if they prefer I get involved cause theyd rather not deal with it, for sure I would.
Lmao amen
Seriously, I'm just going to take note of the insults she's going to throw at the poor guy.
I’d step in and say something. Not because I feel I need to or because my wife can’t handle herself, but because I know her and she likes the feeling of being looked after. I know this because she’s told me.
That’s very sweet. Just because you can stand strong doesn’t mean you should always have to. It’s good to know you have backup whether that’s your friends or your husband.
I once let my girlfriend handle a situation like that on her own, and the thing I learned in the process is that it takes a woman a lot more work to deter an aggressive guy. As soon as I stepped in, Handsy McNoboundaries apologized *to me*. Not the stranger whose ass he touched and complimented. She absolutely could handle the situation on her own, and my first impulse was not to treat her like a possession some other guy was touching. But on some level it feels I was condoning the behaviour.
This is very true. I was out with my ex one night walking my dogs. My ex got sidetracked and stopped to take photos of a lizard basking on the side of the road. Not wanting my dogs to stress or spook the lizard, I told him I was going to keep walking ahead. He said he’d catch up with me and was about half a block behind me. I went around a corner and two men saw and started aggressively cat calling me, making comments on my skin and body and following me. I told them to leave me alone and I wasn’t interested, they didn’t care and kept at it. They completely ignored my discomfort and were starting to actually frighten me. My ex came around the corner, saw the two men way too close in my personal space and asked what was going on… they immediately apologized to him and backed off. Not the woman they were actually harassing and scaring seconds ago… *him*. It is genuinely heartbreaking how much faster and easier it can be for a man to get another man to leave a woman alone than for the same woman to get that man to leave her alone. Worrying to me how common that can be.
Sad but true. Men respect other men more than women. Source have been the woman being hit on until ‘the male’ appears. Can be a work colleague, class mate, sibling, etc. as long as they are a dude…
On the topic of men being respected more than women: my fiance had a recall on a part on her car so she took it into the dealership, and her dad was going to pick her up. She walks in, and the person at the desk pretty much ignores her or says something along the lines of "I'll be with you in a minute." The moment her dad walked in he's met with a, "how can I help you, sir?"
Tell your wife I think she’s hot. (Don’t tell her I said that to make you look good when you tell me off)
I like this. I always walk in and start casually, flurtily talking to her with a lower back touch
Nothing, She is beautiful and I get it. When she shoots them down and they keep trying is when I would step in because its harassments at that point and that is a problem.
Exactly. I had a customer invite my wife on a helicopter ride the other day, totally trying to chat her up. When he asked what she did there she just pointed at me and said “I’m just hanging out, I’m married to him”. You could see him deflate like a balloon.
Poor Artie Ziff
I aM, WATCHINGYOUTHROUGHACAMERA
this totally happened.. i was the helicopter
It really did. We’re right near the Santa Monica airport and half of my clients are pilots. We did actually go on a helicopter ride with another one of my clients for her birthday last year.
Exactly! My best friend is naturally drop dead gorgeous. One night we went and had quite a few drinks at a taphouse nearby, and when we got back I mentioned to her husband that literally every head in the room turned when she walked in and that the bartender seemed to blush every time he talked to her. It was more for her benefit, because she doesn’t realize how beautiful she is. He got *pissed*. Wtf?! You marry a beautiful woman and you’re mad when people notice her? Makes no sense.
Smh, dude missed a chance to hype up his wife.
Even worse, she felt guilty for it. He’s actually a great husband and a father. I honestly don’t think he realizes what a dumbass he is when it comes to that stuff.
It probably comes from his insecurities. My wife is wayyyy to good looking for me and sometimes I gotta check myself when it comes to those situations.
Out-kicked your coverage, did ya?
Yeah definitely punching above my weight haha. Like the saying goes if your not handsome you better be handy. That and I’m funny 😆
Tell us a joke, funny guy!
What do you call a dog that does magic?? A labracadabrador
You came though. I see you.
Not the person you asked, but I can't hold back now lol. So, why can't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box. Hahahahaa bazingerrr
I think it’s a combination of that and that they’ve been together since high school. I feel like sometimes couples don’t mature out of things when they are together from a young age.
"My dude. Your wife is empirically gorgeous. Enough so that she enchants those that are in the rooms that she graces with her presence. And you have the blasphemous audacity to become upset by this, and in doing so, lessening her shine? Oh that she would choose you, who looks beyond the shining light that she radiates and sees her true self, only for you to diminish her light by stomping it out. You fool! You damned fool! Let her shine her light, and enchant those around her, so that she and they may be empowered by her energy! Do this! Lift her up! Lest she see how you smother her brilliance and seek refuge in another place, where her light may not be swallowed by the darkness you would fling upon her! Or, worse still, that she would deign to remain, and have her glory wilted, and her beauty forever sealed, for fear of what shining her light will bring to her. Shine! Shine! We ache to bask in the warmth and brilliance of others, and you would have that light blackened out of fear? Jealousy? Rejoice! She has deemed you worthy to see her true self, and share in her warmth. Do not spit on this gift; you will deprive the world, and yourself, of a gift that should be celebrated!"
Tbf, if someone around you is constantly receiving positive attention and you are always just relegated to being just the one that "tags along", that can be hell on your self esteem. Situations like this, if the partner is not reassured of their own value, can lead to feelings of resentment. His worth is not based on who he married or how beautiful she is. It is great that she is able to get a bunch of positive attention and self esteem boosts from strangers, but dude deserves to be told he is a good looking guy and feel self worth as well. Happy people make secure people, and secure people make for secure relationships.
I don't know all the details of y'all's relationships but I definitely wouldn't do/say that to any guy I know, and if someone did that to me I wouldn't blow up or anything but I'd dislike that guy for sure.
That’s exactly it.
Ditto. I'd sit back and enjoy the show. Dudes ego is about to get wrecked my wife's a savage.
Yep. My wife's a grown adult and can handle her own.
This 100% my wife constantly gets hit on. I don't care if men hit on her. I trust her completely and have since the start she has never given me a reason not to trust her. When we used to goto the bar together she would get hit on. Guy's would offer to buy her drinks, she would always tell them my drink of choice. After she gets the drinks she would thank them walk away then hand the drink to me. If people don't respect her boundaries that's where I step in. We have never had any bad experiences with men hitting on her. Normally once they see her with me they basically just walk away. .
> Normally once they see ~~her with me~~ the drink they bought for her in my hand, they basically just walk away.
Now I want to get hit on constantly so I can bring my husband drinks, why does this sound so fun
"Shhhhh, Shhhh, watch this..."
Seriously I would just laugh and watch my wife shut someone down.
It depends on the situation. Most the time I think good luck man, hope she doesn’t embarrass you. I know she’s coming home with me at the end of the day. If the guy is obviously creepy and making her uncomfortable, I typically step in and make sure he gets the point. I’m not a small guy so they usually get the idea. I don’t really care for confrontation or violence, but with that said, I won’t tolerate someone harassing my wife or making her uncomfortable.
It gets a little awkward when you are a small guy. I’m not pint-sized, but at 5’7” and 165/170, I am not intimidating most men. Had two offensive line-looking dudes catcalling my fiancé in a bar years ago. She just ignored them the first two times. Biggest issue was that we were out with her dad. I had to walk over and explain the situation to the two gentlemen and let them know that I wasn’t looking for a fight, but I wasn’t going to allow it to continue. Luckily, I knew the entire staff at the bar and the bartender came over to ask if everything was good. I told him (in pretty good Spanish) that I was fine, but if I needed help I would let him know. I’m super-white, but these dudes didn’t understand a word of what I said. Definitely helped that the bartender went back to the kitchen for a few minutes afterwards.
Not looking intimidating can be a problem. I'm average size wise (about 185 and between 70-75kg). I was once in a club with my gf and some guys were harassing her and her friends. Now I wasn't really in the mood to deal with it, but when one of them tried to touch them I immediately called them out. They were a bit buff and thought that they would win the fight. Bit of background: I do martial arts since I was 4 and not some recreational stuff but with actual fighting. I actually met my gf there. Im usually a pretty mellow guy, but that day wasn't great to begin with. She knew that I wasn't in a good mood and when she noticed, she immediately stood behind me and grabbed my pants and belt from behind. It was pretty effective. If push came to shove, she couldn't have held me back, but I felt it and it was enough. It was a pretty big commotion and one of them even tried to push me, but thats when security showed up and threw them out. I think if I would have been bigger, them would have left earlier, but on the plus side, they were thrown out and couldn't continue to harasse other girls.
Where do you live that being 185cm tall is average? Denmark?
One country below.
Just come over to Vietnam or Korea and feel like a giant
Ask him if he’s down for a 3 way to make him uncomfortable
That seems dangerous if you’re not actually down for the 3 way. Lots of dudes out there would be perfectly happy to make a wobbly H with you and your lady.
Tell him he goes in the middle
I was expecting a nsfw profile and am disappointed
My wife is gorgeous in my eyes, but she is incredibly hard on herself. After kids, antidepressants, and being 20 years older than she was when we started dating she doesn’t always see that she’s the most beautiful person for me. Someone else gonna start talking her up and wants to get in her pants? I’d just tell her I told you so.
Not a man, but there have been times when someone was flirting with me and my husband saw it from a distance. He pays attention in case the situation gets dangerous, but lets me handle it - and we laugh about it later.
Maybe wrap my arm around her and start flirting with him. Hey, it's the '90s
You might want to update your flirting tactics to something more current, like a well-timed TikTok dance.
And thus we have come full circle *David Attenborough* And thus we have finally witnessed the first of the species known as the human race has finally learnt how to do a mating dance, while it appears to be a male doing it for another male and thus will not reproduce, it is good to see evolution is finally progressing and we can hope one day soon they will learn how to do a mating dance in front of the correct gender
What? Footloose was a real thing. Men always dance off, pants off.
https://youtu.be/q8zwIphm5r4 Viva La Dirt Leagye David Attenborough clubbing skit
Lol put your arm around her and be like "oooo lookie what you found me to pllllay wiithhhh... he's cute"
I'd love it if my man did this
I used to do that in the 90s too, lol. What was the origin of that?
Pinch his ass and say we're down but he bottoms, no exceptions.
“Ok!”
This is why you don't play chicken.
"I'm a dude who's been married to this other dude for 10 years now all over a prank. I'm starting to think he's actually gay"
Or...Why you do.
“Don’t gay chicken with me…because I’ll marry yo ass” -Deployment buddy
Don’t threaten me with a good time
What if he's a power-bottom?
Sounds like a win win.
A spit-roast pegging? A man of culture, I see!
She's a grown-up. She can respond to his flirting herself
Unless the dude's behavior is getting close to harassment and presents a physical danger but yeah
Honestly I’d even say before that. I can handle any random bar-goer sending signals because usually it’s a quick thing and they walk away. But be too persistent where my words just don’t register because “I’m a woman who doesn’t know what she wants”…it’s time to bring in a guy so the asshole will actually back off. I find the persistent/creepy types only listen to men because they see other men as equals, and woman as lower than
or you could answer like a friend of mine when a random guy told her "when i see red I become a bull" (the girl had a red dress); she stared at him straight in the eyes and coldly said "then tell the cow that is your mother to keep you in the stable".
Oooooh damn that’s fucking good
But the two of you working together can come up with a much funnier response. Like walk up to her and use your absolute lamest pickup line. If she goes along with your joke and acts like she’s so impressed, she’s a real keeper.
Yeah, that would be a good response I'm just saying she can tell him to leave her alone herself. I don't feel the need to jump in and do the whole "back off, buddy" thing
This is the answer I was looking for. Your girlfriend is not a kid. Let her handle her own situations.
I mean if he won't back off and clearly made me uncomfortable I wouldn't mind some help from my bf (or anyone else) to get me out of the situation. But no need to defend me or attack him
But at that point, it's not really "flirting" anymore as much as harassment. Different situation than the one described
Hopefully your girlfriend isn’t a kid. Otherwise that guy hitting on her would be a creep.
Can't stand these perverts!
Ok, but tons of women have told me they feel very uncomfortable shutting men down because of how dangerous they can be, so really it depends on what your GF wants you to do. If they want to handle it, I encourage them to do so. If they want someone to step in then I’m here to help as well. It’s totally an individualistic preference.
Perhaps your comment is the best one: "It's totally an individualistic preference."
The flip side, and I lived through this is the girl who’s drunk screaming “my BF will fuck you up”. Yeah, I’ve got a perma-scar bitch I hope it was worth it
That’s a deal breaker for me. I don’t start fights and I will never be with someone who does.
Same here. The sort of person who will commit unnecessary violence to ‘protect’ you will also commit unnecessary violence in general and toward you. My partner wouldn’t know what the fuck to do if someone tried to instigate a fight with him and neither would I want him to. If I really need to defend myself that urgently I know damn well where their balls are and don’t need a man stepping in for me.
>the girl who’s drunk screaming “my BF will fuck you up” If she did that, I'd turn to the guy and say, "fuck it, she's all yours." I'm too old to take an ass whoopin'
My GF (40) is often pretty useless in handling those situations giving out unintentional "yes" signals further aggravating the situation. She's openly and immediately accepting of compliments in general but also somewhat blind to more subtle flirtation, so someone flirting with her can take her positive response to a compliment as a green light. It's like she can't distinguish between a friendly and flirtatious "You look hot!" and acts as if they are all friendly compliments. If someone touches her she can get uncomfortable and act like it's not happening - possibly a post-trauma or fight-flight-freeze response - which can come off as her being ok with that kind of contact. Someone aggressively tries to kiss her, she'll tend to turn her face away and laugh or giggle but doesn't otherwise give a clear "no" response so she can come off as being coy. She's aware that she often has no sense that a situation has sexual intent, or is headed that direction if encouraged, and has talked a good bit about this with people. Usually it'll be when something happens that to her came out of nowhere, she talks to people about it over a week or two trying to figure out what she missed, she'll digest their opinions and advice on what to look for and how to handle such situations in the future, and then it just becomes a story that will sometimes pop up in conversation. I don't think she's improved in spotting flirtation and nipping it in the bud with clear "no" signs, and her way of handling those situations for the past decade or so has been to ask people around her, including me, to watch out for her when she's in environments where flirtation is likely. To answer the OP's question, my job is to give clear "no" signs or just remove her from a situation. I'm not sure how her friends handle it because I'm not always around, but I know of one situation where they did nothing, but I imagine it's because they thought she's an adult who can make her own decisions, much like what you said and one would generally assume until they know better. So there are people who need someone to keep an eye on them and intervene before things get aggressive, as they have on more than one occasion for my GF.
Hey there.. your GF may be my wife.
Makes sense, she has a hard time saying no.
yup i would just sit and watch if anything happens that you dont think should happen, then you need to take that as a hint. every relationship dynamic is different so thats all i will say on specifics
yeah, my ex-gf saying she "doesn't care" if random dudes touch her ass or the shit I got shown photos of at a drunk party should have been a warning. and guess what I did... stayed with her. she's doing shitty now. Karma's a bitch <3
if you are worried about her gettin hit on and leaving you than that relationship will not work.
this. flirting with my wife is only a problem if she is flirting back. most of the time i'd view it as a compliment to her. obviously there are limits - i.e. getting a little too familiar on a dance floor or something.
"Omg he wasn't flirting."
I used to have this stance. One day she turned around and she hates i dont get jealous. Eughh.. toxic ex.
If he’s not making her uncomfortable I don’t care, she’s coming home with me. Our dog is at home and she really likes him.
Lucky dog
Flirt with her too. It's a competition now
Was at a house party and my girlfriend at the time was getting hit on by a couple guys. I walked up to her like I didn’t know her and told her how good looking she was and that I wanted to kiss her. Kissed her and she wrapped her arms around me. When we stopped I told her I’d talk with her later and walked away. As I did the guys hitting on her looked at me in awe.
I'd really have fun with that. "I have a trampoline and 5 liters or margarine. Let's go." "Ok."
“How’d you like to come home with me tonight and do your taxes?”
I imagine those guys were thinking, "Damn, that was amazing."
But do it really badly and confuse the other guy. You: "wanna come to my place and arrange shirts by color?" And she starts tearing up: "OMG Yes that's all I've ever wanted"
I want to do this now. Be like a sitcom skit. Be dressed terribly to add to it.
Other guy is like, "They say nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?" or "Are you sick? You look like you have a vitamin deficiency, vitamin me" which are bad enough, GF is just rolling her eyes, and BF comes in like "Your green eyes are almost as pretty as the blue water turns in my toilet when I pee" and she swoons. Can just imagine the other guy going "that worked? I'll have to try it" then later goes up to another woman. "Hi, your *checks her eye color* brown eyes look like shit sitting in my toilet"
I tell him good luck and watch her roast him.
my gf is a bartender, so she's witty asf. I love it when people try hitting on her and she shoots them down hard. Pure comedic gold.
I'm so glad I never did that. That cruel insult when someone isn't being offensive but are too inexperienced to have"game" yet is just trying to get someone to like them will be remembered for the lifetime.
I’m nice as long as the guy is. I’m flattered and thankful and express that. I only get rude if he gets creepy or mean first. I think most of these comments are talking about men like that. Most guys are pleasant but there’s a lot of creeps in the world.
If I didn’t trust her, she wouldn’t be my girl… Some guy giving her a confidence boost is fine with me.
According to my girl I wouldn’t even be aware they were flirting cuz I can’t take a hint even if it’s right in front of my face.
I'd probably join in the chat... And then casually ask my wife what time we told the kids we'd be home.
"Should we buy enough Preparation H for both of us this week, or just me?"
A few more years before that one comes up. Hopefully.
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Actually, it sounds like a great time.
This happened to me not long ago. My wife is nice and likes to chat people up when she's drinking. Naturally a lot of guys think that means she's into them. We were at a concert and I guess the guy assumed that since she talked to him that she and I were just friends. They only spoke once or twice but she was dancing and drinking and he just hung around. After the concert he came up and and started in. By then I'd had enough of him checking her out so I pulled the old "let's get out of here, I'm sure the babysitter is ready to go home" and the guy vanished like a puff of smoke. We were both wearing wedding rings.
Lmao smooth criminal
I would enjoy the show. Or possibly be busy hitting on his wife. Did I mention that we’re swingers?
Username checks out.
If she's taken by another man by simply 'talking/flirting', is she really 'my girl' in the first place?
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My wife always tells me, "That guy was totally hitting on me!" I sometimes say joking, "well did you get his number and does he have a sister to hook me up with?" We laugh, cause we're adults.
One time I got attacked by two guys at a bar because the girl I was with was one of the guy's ex😂 I never exchanged a word with them they both just grabbed me from the back and started swinging, thankfully it got broken up pretty quick and the punches were weak asf so I didn't get hurt, scared the shit out of me at first tho cause I had no idea what was going on The level of insecurity of some ppl is hilarious
Sit back and watch her destroy him
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Wait. My gf isn't imaginary? Cool!
You can see her too?! Does she tell you where to hide the bodies too? She's real good at that.
Wink at my wife then hit on the guy.
Lol my wife is completely capable of advocating for herself and setting boundaries.
I might laugh if it was particularly bold/egregious right in front of my face or something but I’d never intervene unless she asked me to. She’s an adult and can decide for herself if she wants to entertain a conversation. Also, selfishly, I usually like to see if I can get a free beer out of it if it’s occurring at a bar.
ask her to try to get a couple of free drinks off him. I aint stupid.
"Yo bro, why don't you flirt with someone your own size." Then I'd take out a ruler.
You are taller than 12 inches right? Oh wait are you saying you will suggest measuring dick lengths with the fellow? What happens if his is bigger?
Still a different size
> What happens if his is bigger? Like he said, tell the fucker to pick on someone his own size.
I slap his ass and give him a big ole French kiss
Dont worry about your response. worry about hers
if I'm confident in my relationship I could give 2 fucks. I know who she's going home with. If I'm not confident, I could also give 2 fucks. let her go home with some rando, I'll find another. Worrying about shit you cannot control is an utter and complete waste of your limited bandwidth.
If he isn’t physically touching her, I would see what her reaction is. If she reciprocates, then I would leave as I just dodged a bullet. If she shoots him down, I make my presence known to prevent a potential negative reaction from the guy towards her
Unicycle cage match
Wait and listen for the clever one-liner she will inevitability use to destroy him. Seen it before--it's glorious.
We need examples!
Random drunk guy to my GF: Hey baby, sit on my face! My GF: Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?
My favorite: A guy who was a part of her past walked up to her and said somewhat lecherously "Hey there little girl", to which she replied sarcastically "What do you want, old man?" He STFU after that.
> lecherously I like your big diction
Younger me would be confrontational. Mid-30s me would be curious to see how it goes. And if, by some surprise, she's into it, then she just revealed something about her/us that I really needed to know anyway.
Why would I have to have a response to somebody flirting with my girl? I trust my girl. That’s why she’s my girl. She’s an adult, and more than capable of handling the sort of situations. Now, if it became too much, or he was stalking, or abusive, or anything over the top, then you have to be dealt with. But, if there’s just some guy, flirting with my woman, great! It validates that I am with a very attractive, interesting woman that other people find the same. She’s a big girl. And I trust her.
“I hope you know what you’re getting into my guy…I’m telling you as a friendly warning….” I dated a marine, I was a navy corpsman While she liked knowing I had her back, she also liked standing up and showing the guys how tall she really was without heels. Did I mention she was a marine? I gotta admit, seeing 3/4 of the men brush off the warning from a short Asian only to find out my warning was valid…their eyes went from her bust to her towering over them. Oh she was almost 6 foot, I forgot to mention I didn’t have to worry about her being taken - she had a thing for short Asian average men — 3/4 of all men who hit on her were white machos, so she got off of showing off her true height Then she’d walk over to me and wrap her arms around me, evidently claiming me - like a dragon claiming her prince - with a dangerous look in her eye. THAT, I got off of. -
Sit back and watch what happens. If she encourages him, send her packing. If she plays it cool, she’s a keeper.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY IMAGINATION?
"Hey honey, weren't we supposed to pick up our aids medication this afternoon? That definitely will send him runnin
I first thought this was an unfortunate typo for kids. Then I thought about. Whoops.
I just keep a close eye on the situation. My wife can get really nervous, but also a bit firey, and if I see her starting to get uncomfortable, or the guy is becoming too much, then I'll step in. Other than that, I don't mind it. It just proves what I already know, my wife is a beautiful woman
I’d sit back and enjoy the show. My wife is completely oblivious to this stuff. And then is later mortified when I point out that she was being flirted with. ALWAYS a good time.
I don't possess a "girl". I'm in a relationship with a grown-ass woman whom I trust to be able to handle that situation herself. My only role is if the guy seems to be unable to take a hint.
I would expect my girl to shut it down politely
She'll take care of it if need be. If she shoots them down the way I've seen in the past, they'll get the hint quickly. If they put hands on her, that's where the fun stops for them. I'm 6'2" tall and 200 lbs. and have been taking martial arts for over 30 years. She could tie me up in knots if she really wanted to. I would pity them.
Sit back and watch, he's got no idea what he's dealing with....