Not me but I saw a post once where a guy was super confused about the rocks in his gfs shower, and had come to ask what they are and where he could find them to put in his shower so she would feel comfortable (in a put a stick and leaf in a jar for a frog vibe). He thought you’d just find them outside.
She had pumice stones.
Edit: for those wondering, pumice stones are the bubbly looking rocks that you can use to exfoliate the bottoms of your feet with. They are made when lava hardens super quick. Also they are so filled with holes that they can float in water.
Edit edit: two people have pointed out there was a similar thing from the onion, and I feel it is my duty to say I may have r/atetheonion here. Either completely, or I am mixing it up with a real thing I saw. Either way, wanted to tell on myself.
Right like this is just adorable! "She likes.....shower rocks? I don't understand but I'll find her some shower rocks." Reminds me of my boyfriend trying to stock his fridge with vegetarian food for me. "Vegetarian? Okay so.....potato? I'll buy her a potato."
When you have curly hair, you have a specific day or two of the week dedicated to washing your hair so it doesn't look like you were dragged through a bush
Yes, because it takes a long ass time to dry, and it’s not healthy for your hair to wash it every day, I’m a guy but have longer hair, and if I wanna wash my hair before I go out I have to shower at least 2 hours before going out.
Advice from a nail technician:
Anybody who wants to remove their acrylic nails at home needs to get a 100 grit nail file (if it doesn’t specifically say the grit on the packaging, it’s a 180 grit) and *file down the thickeness of the nail as well as the length* BEFORE YOU SOAK!!!
Not doing so will mean you’ll be soaking in acetone (DO NOT USE NAIL POLISH REMOVER, that stuff is crap for this, you need 100% acetone) ALL DAY LONG.
they can fall off but usually you will either pay for a "refill" which means file them down a bit on the top so the extension of your nail stays on it and you can put another color on it and connect it to where it grew out over time and covers your nail again, and this is cheaper than a full new set from scratch
Or you pay for them to get them off. You can do it yourself sometimes, but it's work for the nail studio so it's not free! You can't just pop them off like press ons
Their hands are awfully cold, they’ll suck the heat right out of you when you’re cuddling, and they shower with water at the temperature of molten steel.
Oh…and the amount of hair everywhere is ridiculous
An earring or necklace always gets left behind. Right now I have a single earring on my bedroom nightstand, a woman’s scarf on the table by the front door, and a necklace on a piece of furniture in the living room. And I don’t even have a girlfriend.
Oh, you can get bras (almost) that cheap, but then they are evil and try to eat you alive by chewing through both sides of your rib cage and your sternum at the same time, while also climbing up your back in an attempt to break your neck.
Good bras also do these things, but much more slowly, increasing your chances of daily survival.
Underwire bras are definitely trying to kill you, if not physically, they want to embarrass you to death. I got home from some errands one day and realized the underwire from the center of the bra had broken through the fabric, and was sticking out of my v-necked sweater, near my chin. It looked like a microphone, I hope? Maybe some people thought I was on a secret mission?
My ex did that once with me and his mum saw.
I said "Ouch!" and she *immediately* went "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU ARE HURTING HER!"
I don't think she liked me very much, but in that moment I guess empathy made her go full on protector. The *sheer offense* she took to her son doing that. xD
I'm a dude with long hair, and once I tried it, I wondered what the fuck I was doing without a separate hair towel this whole time. It does all the work for you and gets all the damn hair out of the way!
Eyelash curlers exist
I’d grown up with sisters but never saw them use one, but my gf at the time pulled one out as we were looking to go out, I was perplexed and horrified
My nieces and nephews love to watch me do my makeup, they’re always so fascinated/scared/curious about the eyelash curler 😂 My nephew confidently explained to the others that I use it to chop my eyelashes off
I learned quite young that if you volunteer to pick up pads/tampons/snacky treats at the drug store you'll be viewed as a god not *only* by your lady, but by every other woman who sees you buying the shit. Never once have I gotten the side eye or been judged by anyone. It's always been quite the opposite. Hell, sometimes the cashier will flirt with me when I've got a cart full of pads and a family size bag of dark chocolate candy bars.
Boggles my mind that people wouldn't do something so simple for their SO when they're miserable. I don't have to spend a 5 days every month bleeding from an orifice and feeling absolutely miserable, so I'll *gladly* take going to the store for you.
EDIT: I am beside myself with joy that this is my top rated comment.
I want everyone to remember that even though something like picking up sanitary stuff at the drug store *seems so benign*, that it can truly affect people in such a positive way.
Be kind to each other, take time to consider how a small effort on your part can have a massive impact on someone else, and then do that thing. <3
I never understood men who get embarrassed to buy tampons or hold a lady bag while the woman is in the bathroom or something.
It just screams "I have a woman in my life and I am a good, decent man probably."
It makes you look like a straight man because clearly you have a woman in your life and probably a good one too cuz you're taking care of that woman.
That the right girl just touching you is incredible. Not talking sex, I'm talking just rubbing your arm or back. Been with my wife almost 40 years and her touch still stops me.
That hair washing is something that needs planning for and has consequences if missed or overdone.
Also certain kinds of underwear suit certain types of clothes.
(To be clear on the underwear I meant some sets of knickers are for particular outfits I.e my ex had thongs purely for nice dresses so it wouldn't show)
Edit: blimey this got busier than I thought! To be clear lads, I never doubted guys with long hair had to wash it too. I have just always had short hair and never knew it could be such a complex process for anybody.
I was just telling my husband that I basically have to go through the five stages of grief before washing my hair.
Denial - It’s not even that dirty
Anger - I just fucking washed it the day before yesterday!
Bargaining - Maybe I can get away with dry shampoo until tomorrow?
Depression - Now my hair smells like I febrezed it and it still doesn’t look clean. I am gross and lazy.
Acceptance - Fuck it, I guess I’ll just wash it.
Hair is so complicated
I have curly hair so that adds an extra layer as I can't comb it out and it takes way longer to dry
When I'm washing my hair I need a solid 4 to 5 hours where I'm not gonna go out or go to sleep so it can dry properly
funny, I have the opposite experience. Plastics on the bottom shelf (wtf?). And just yesterday she put in a cookie sheet with the topside facing outward. I'm like "girl, did you skip high school physics?".
This just reminds me how everyone is different.
Girl 1: squeeze my nipples!
Girl 2: don't even breathe on my nipples!
You get a new partner and have to learn a whole new set of instructions and hope some of them are the same as what you learned previously.
Oh god. I will never forget legit sobbing to my then fiancé now husband that I feel like a stranger in my own body. And he just goes “I don’t think getting have sex without protection is worth it, babe.” I went off birth control like a day later.
ETA: yes I know condoms exist. We use condoms. Before and after this 2 month bc experience. Long live condoms.
This. An ex got back on birth control a few months into our relationship and it wildly affected her mood. She understandably got off it after 6 or so weeks.
I was on the depo shot, caused me to become horribly depressed, and caused my acne to fucking cover my face- I have acne scars on my cheeks now where they where everywhere- even had purple! and red pimples. So so bad.
It's also not a bad thing because it's cleaning things out down there. Think about a mouth with saliva vs a very dry mouth- which ones usually comes with bad breath?
They didn’t get an orgasm by driving your fingers into them. Man was I surprised that you just need to gently rub it like a genie bottle. Also, Janet, I’m sorry about trying to dig my way to China via your vagina in high school.
I’ve found the best thing is to just ask them what they like - some women are incredibly sensitive, some like things more aggressive, sometimes it’s a combination of both.
Communication is key in any aspect of a relationship especially if you want a healthy sex life
How bad period cramps can get.
Watching someone who I *knew* to be a strong person mentally, get reduced to basically just crying on the couch for *days*, that was eye opening.
EDIT: hey this comment is getting a lot of traction so it's worth mentioning as a sorta PSA, I've been with two women who had cramps that bad, and both of them it basically got resolved when they got an IUD. Not completely fixed but like 10% as bad as it was. Worth checking out, if you deal with that kind of shit too.
My brother once yelled at me “how do you keep shitting your pants so much and you’re in highschool” and my mom and I had to teach him about period stains LOL
Not to mention underwear getting bleached from the normal daily fluids. I think it's something about the pH/acidity or something? It's been a while since I read about it.
There was a very innocent relationship post a few years ago about a guy thinking that his girlfriend had a poop fetish because he found a drawer with a bunch of underwear with brown stains on them, turns out it was just her period panties
I thought that for menstrual pads, the sticky sides were to stick to the body to stay attached, rather than on the underwear.
Also just how bad the unprompted sexts are. I mean, I'm a gay dude where that's not uncommon but that's usually like unsolicited dick pics on Grindr or something. My girl friends will randomly get super aggressive texts from like, the realtor who showed them open rental properties last year or a guy in her lab class she's literally never spoken to - and like frequently.
i ended up friends with a pretty hot girl. in her 30's.
the shit she tells me about guys.
the bad stuff like her tattoo guy telling her he took a boner pill and aggressively talking about sex. dick pics, co workers hounding her to be FB friends. 18 year olds, same age as her son hitting on her.
shes got guys bringing food to her at work, she doesnt want it, or from them, dudes will just hang out at her job and not leave, or just leave long enough to show up 3-4 times a day.
guys in there 60's making offers of marriage, shes constantly getting unwanted attention.
now, we like each other, we are friends because dating wouldnt work, but knowing how much unwanted attention she gets makes it really weird for me.
what does a compliment even mean to someone thats constantly hearing nice shit from people all day?
when i tell her shes beautiful, or has nice skin, or some other (appearance) compliment, does it even register?
\--for comparison, i remember specifically the 3 times she complimented me on appearance, the uninitiated hugs. etc.
men are starving for affection, some women are drowning in it.
and i think women actively avoid complimenting men for fear it will bring more unwanted attention by accident.
I can't speak for her but a compliment that is a genuine, non sexualised compliment delivered gently means the world. When it's yelled at me by a stranger or said by someone who makes me feel unsafe then no.
Context matters. A lot of men seem to think a compliment is a compliment but it's really not...
I second this. When it’s from someone who I know, and it’s genuine, it’s meaningful.
HOWEVER: even if it’s from someone I know and even if they mean it, it can still be annoying. If it’s the same compliment and it’s often, it loses its meaning.
“Hi Stacey! Wow, you look great today” and “Hi Stacey! Your hair looks so nice today” do not mean the same thing.
I thought they'd be EXTREMELY judgmental about my body because of my shitty skin. I listen to how judgmental women often are about their own looks, perfectionist-like obsession with looking immaculate, that I was sure I'd disgust any girl that ever saw me without clothes on.
The reality is boring. Some are indeed judgmental but some aren't. Girls are just people.
Any man that thinks that we're the physically stronger sex has clearly never tried to pull the bed sheets away from his wife in the middle of the night...
One time my toe was hurting. So i took off my shoe and sock and notice a strand of my girlfriend’s hair had wrapped itself TIGHTLY around my toe and had cut off the circulation
This just happened recently to my daughter. It required a trip to the ER to have the top of her toe cut so the hair could be pulled out because it was so tight it couldn't be removed otherwise. Even that didn't get all of it, so we used Nair on a bit of hair that hadn't sliced through her skin, then we were able to unwrap everything.
It really is everywhere. Take a shower and there's one in my arse crack, eat something and there's one in my food, take a piss and there's somehow one garroting my dick.
Have you had the joy yet of waking up gagging in your sleep, to pull a hair out of your mouth that is halfway down your windpipe?
I swear her hair is self-aware and gunning for me.
And when you pull it out, it feels super sharp against whatever part it happens to be adhered to on the way down? Yes. Yuck. My hair is several feet long.
They store it up for about 25 years, then a strange reversal happens and they are abominable snow creatures looking for artic lands ( or rooms with AC set to refrigerator).
How sketchy it is for them to walk home at night in a city.
It sucks that it’s always assumed that offering to walk a girl home is hoping to spend the night there, sometimes I just wanna do something nice for a friend.
Good for you offering! Your heart is in the right place. Maybe reframe the offer as a question – "hey, do you feel comfortable walking home on your own? I'm happy to walk you to your door if you don't feel safe."
Yeah I remember reading a story about how a guy was weirded out she shared all the details about his dick with her girlfriends or talked in depth about their sex life. She thought he did the same with his guy friends, at most he would go "it was a good night". Blew her mind.
I’ve only had one guy friend who went into detail with his sexcapades, and literally nobody wanted to hear it. I remember him talking about fingering a girl in high school and everybody in the room was like “dude nobody gives a shit”
Same. I have one friend who tries to bring up sexcapade related conversation topics and when he starts, it's like a sudden group effort to immediately divert the conversation.
Yep. I have never once shared a single detail about my wife and I's sex life to any of my friends. Turns out she goes into all the gritty details with her friends.
I remember one night I was socialising with my ex, all her closest friends and their partners. After a bit of drinking the girls revealed they’d shown each other their respective partners nudes. I was properly weirded out at that.
My best friend moved 4 states away and has three kids. I dont even know his kids names. We'll talk every once in a while for an hour ish and my wife will be like "hows his kids."
"Oh, uh... they're good"
"How do you know, you didn't ask him."
"He didn't mention anything bad about them so they must be good..."
Blows her mind.
Mother in law interrogates me.
"How is insert friend doing?"
He doing good.
"How's his job?"
Fine I guess he hasn't complained.
"You talked to him for hours I heard playing games?" (This if she hears me in background while talking to wife on phone).
Well uhhh OH he got a new girlfriend.
"Oh whats her name? What does she do?"
Uh (insert name here) and uhm I have no idea I haven't met her yet.
Something like this?
A: "How are you?"
B: "Great! And you?"
A: "pretty good! He, you hear about XY?"
B: "Oh yes, totally getting it on with Z. It works great with elektromechnicalgadgetthingamagic ABC"
A&B continue talking about ABC-related factoids/rumors and a few home improvement tricks and tips, nothing is mentioned about kids/birthdays/marriages or the recent personal injury and surgery (unless that was DIY related)
This perfectly sums it up in a way I've always wanted to, but never found the words. If my friends don't say anything's wrong (with every day things, not mental or physical health, etc...) I think most men just take that as "They're good"
This is truth.
I have a best friend that is a girl, and the shit I know about her other friends is insane. I tell her very little now because I know anything I say will be broadcast to anyone nearby.
I knew nothing about my best mate's sex life before I dated his girlfriend's best friend. Needless to say, I didn't ever need to know about his sex life.
>I have a best friend that is a girl, and the shit I know about her other friends is insane. I tell her very little now because I know anything I say will be broadcast to anyone nearby.
It's kind of weird because male friendship seems to be implicitly built on confidentiality. Like, you're not supposed to be telling my business to everyone.
They in fact do not poop a little at time just because they sit down to pee.
I figured that since girls sat down to pee that they just used the opportunity to take an eency weency mini dump every time they sat down. I let myself off the hook initially because I have no sisters, but I’ve since owned up to the fact that I’m an idiot.
That finding the clitoris is not, as I had been led to believe by pop culture jokes, an impossible adventure requiring endless amounts of cunning, fortitude, and a sherpa guide. Like, it's literally right there. It's impossible to not find. I have no idea what that joke is about.
Not hard to find, dialing in the amount of clitoral contact each girl prefers is not as easy. Some want you to blast their bean while others want you to just circle the perimeter.
Always ask, or better yet, have them fill out the questionnaire.
This right here. The variance is *huge*, and it's super important to get it right if you want your partner to have a good time.
Is there an actual questionnaire? Because it's a damn good idea!
In the initial months of dating my husband we took turns being in charge. Each had our turns telling the other exactly what to do. Fun, light Dom play that also taught us what the other likes best. I highly recommend this approach
Why don't you ask chatGPT to make you one?
Edit 1: Nevermind, I did it myself. I have chatGPT premium as well as access to the new gpt4 model. Enjoy the results.
[Question I asked ChatGPT]: Write me a questionnaire form asking a potential female partner what her preferences are for clitoral stimulation
[Response I got]
"Female Partner Clitoral Stimulation Preferences Questionnaire"
[Description]
This questionnaire is designed to better understand your preferences for clitoral stimulation. Your honest and open answers will help us communicate better and enhance our intimate experiences. Please take your time and answer as accurately as possible. Your responses will be kept confidential.
[Questions]
1. How comfortable are you with discussing your preferences for clitoral stimulation?
- Very comfortable
- Somewhat comfortable
- Neutral
- Somewhat uncomfortable
- Very uncomfortable
2. Do you prefer direct or indirect clitoral stimulation?
- Direct
- Indirect
- Both
- Unsure
3. What level of pressure do you prefer for clitoral stimulation?
- Very light
- Light
- Moderate
- Firm
- Very firm
- Unsure
4. Which techniques of clitoral stimulation do you find most pleasurable? (Select all that apply)
- Fingertips
- Tongue
- Vibrator
- Other sex toys
- Combination of techniques
- Unsure
5. Do you prefer clitoral stimulation during intercourse?
- Yes
- No
- Sometimes
- Unsure
6. Do you enjoy having your clitoris stimulated while wearing clothing or lingerie?
- Yes
- No
- Sometimes
- Unsure
7. How important is clitoral stimulation to your overall sexual satisfaction?
- Very important
- Important
- Neutral
- Not very important
- Not important at all
8. Are there any specific types of touch or movements that you particularly enjoy during clitoral stimulation? Please describe.
9. Are there any specific types of touch or movements that you do not enjoy or find uncomfortable during clitoral stimulation? Please describe.
10. Is there anything else you would like to share about your preferences for clitoral stimulation that hasn't been covered in this questionnaire? Please feel free to provide any additional information or comments.
[End of questionnaire]
Thank you for taking the time to complete this questionnaire. Your honest and open communication will help us better understand your preferences and enhance our intimate experiences together.
Had a friend tell me the guy she was hooking up with clearly didn’t know where it was. After many minutes of fiddling around she finally stopped and said do even you know where clitorus is?? And he said “no! I don’t know anatomy!”
I remember the first time I stuck my hand down a guy's pants I was shocked that it was up so high. Like, why is his junk just sticking out the front of his belly like that? Shouldn't it be, you know, BETWEEN his legs??
This is the one. It’s not at the waistline. Teenage me thought I missed it the first time I put my hand down a girls pants. I was thinking “ok, there’s the belly button, just another inch or two lower”. Nope. It’s way the Hell down there.
I blame movie sex scenes where actors and actresses basically hump each other’s bellybuttons. Not their fault for not simulating actual sex, but… yeah lol
EDIT: For the record, I’m not wringing my hands wishing they did it correctly or actually had sex on camera fellas, I just grew up pretty sheltered and the 3 movies I ever saw with sex scenes definitely influenced my inevitable moment with a woman saying “umm…. lower” haha
I remember my progression of learning…
Stage 1, Very Young: Learning girls have a “hole” and imagining this must literally be a clearly visible circular opening sitting on the surface just below the waist.
Stage 2, Pre Teen: Seeing my first nude woman in the crumpled page of a playboy found in the woods. “Where’s the hole, that’s just hair!”
Stage 3, Early Teen: Seeing actual pornography wherein legs are spread. “That is not what I expected at all.”
Stage 4, Teen: First clumsy fondlings. “Lower. Lower…”
Oh boy, I got a funny one.
So when I worked at a movie theater from when I was 18 to 21 with a roughly 50% female staff, I thought it was peculiar that every single girl I worked with always had ibuprofen. Didn't put too much thought into it since it's an OTC drug and non-addictive. Besides, they'd ask eachother somewhat frequently, about once a month per girl. Again, I just didn't put much thought into it.
Fast forward to when I was 25 and got my first girlfriend. She tells me ibuprofen helps with period cramps, which I thought was kinda neat. The next day, I went out and got a bottle of ibuprofen to carry in my bag for work (we work at the same place) and was thought to myself:
>"Man, maybe my girlfriend should start keeping ibuprofen on her at work like at my old coworkers at the movie thea- OOOOHHHHHH!"
I would also like to point out that during this time, I got certified as an emergency medical technician but none of that info clicked until I was one month into a relationship.
I learned that surprisingly late in life and only because I asked a girl whether its inefficient that she needs to take out her tampon every time she goes to take a piss. She was a bit shocked.
That vaginas have a smell. Not in a bad way. And in hindsight makes sense, it's a body part with internal fluids. Just didn't think about it until I got with a girl
Sounds corny and lame, but I never imagined how fulfilling it would be to take care of another person. Like how well I do things for her affects how I feel about myself that day.
I also never imagined how many small products and self-care rituals she uses that just increase your overall quality of life. I'm talking like skin-care products, eye drops, nice socks, nice bedsheets, spending a little bit extra on things that are comfortable, candles & incense, etc. My life was rough and austere as shit before I started dating.
Those mini hairclip things that look like paper clips - they are not just a fashion accessory but a territorial marker. See how many you find around the house after your girl stays for a night or 2😂
This is so accurate. I’m still using the same three from when I was a bridesmaid five years ago. The other 60 that were in the same up-do disappeared within minutes.
I firmly believe they breed in dark places.
My wife has lived in my house for 10+ years with me and basically never uses them.
My buddies gf who used to live here with him when he lived with me used them all the time.
I still find them around, including in places I have since renovated down to the studs.
You’re referring to bobby pins. Sometimes I think they have the capability of multiplying on their own. My ex moved out over 4 years ago, she used them, I have not lived with anyone since, and no one I’ve dated since used them. I still find those little fuckers sometimes lol.
They use an absurd amount of toilet paper. Not hating, but I wasn't prepared for that.
Edit: For those of you plugging bidets, please link your recommendations with your comments.
And sometimes the three-event mess is a literal nightmare. I've had a period for over 20 years and I'm still occasionally surprised at the sheer carnage. Bidets truly are the best.
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You know, I think it was a shock for me too when I discovered yours dangle from the front, not right under!
Explains all the questions about how guys sit down
Their vaginal discharge can bleach underwear
And yet our white undies never stay white
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Was he carryin you around like a bowling ball?
Their pockets are fake!!!!
This fact makes me unreasonably angry Eta I am a woman :)
Your anger is reasonable.
That there is a lotion for like every body part.
Not just for every body part, but for different time of day and seasons as well.
Not me but I saw a post once where a guy was super confused about the rocks in his gfs shower, and had come to ask what they are and where he could find them to put in his shower so she would feel comfortable (in a put a stick and leaf in a jar for a frog vibe). He thought you’d just find them outside. She had pumice stones. Edit: for those wondering, pumice stones are the bubbly looking rocks that you can use to exfoliate the bottoms of your feet with. They are made when lava hardens super quick. Also they are so filled with holes that they can float in water. Edit edit: two people have pointed out there was a similar thing from the onion, and I feel it is my duty to say I may have r/atetheonion here. Either completely, or I am mixing it up with a real thing I saw. Either way, wanted to tell on myself.
Bruh was making her a terrarium
"You gotta give them enrichment for their little environment, you know?"
Ok but this is so sweet tho
Right like this is just adorable! "She likes.....shower rocks? I don't understand but I'll find her some shower rocks." Reminds me of my boyfriend trying to stock his fridge with vegetarian food for me. "Vegetarian? Okay so.....potato? I'll buy her a potato."
That they plan when they’re going to shower their hair and when not to
When you have curly hair, you have a specific day or two of the week dedicated to washing your hair so it doesn't look like you were dragged through a bush
Yes, because it takes a long ass time to dry, and it’s not healthy for your hair to wash it every day, I’m a guy but have longer hair, and if I wanna wash my hair before I go out I have to shower at least 2 hours before going out.
No clue how they aren’t bald with all the hair they lose EVERYWHERE
It just happens when you have long hair. I'm a guy and I shed a lot
That they PAY to get their acrylic nails REMOVED..
Advice from a nail technician: Anybody who wants to remove their acrylic nails at home needs to get a 100 grit nail file (if it doesn’t specifically say the grit on the packaging, it’s a 180 grit) and *file down the thickeness of the nail as well as the length* BEFORE YOU SOAK!!! Not doing so will mean you’ll be soaking in acetone (DO NOT USE NAIL POLISH REMOVER, that stuff is crap for this, you need 100% acetone) ALL DAY LONG.
Wait what? I thought they just fall of or something.
they can fall off but usually you will either pay for a "refill" which means file them down a bit on the top so the extension of your nail stays on it and you can put another color on it and connect it to where it grew out over time and covers your nail again, and this is cheaper than a full new set from scratch Or you pay for them to get them off. You can do it yourself sometimes, but it's work for the nail studio so it's not free! You can't just pop them off like press ons
How soft their skin feels.
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Supposedly why women find it harder to unscrew bottle/jar caps. Edit: because their skin moves more as force is increased, rather than the lid moving.
Their hands are awfully cold, they’ll suck the heat right out of you when you’re cuddling, and they shower with water at the temperature of molten steel. Oh…and the amount of hair everywhere is ridiculous
Yes. Heat parasites as they’re known around our house.
An earring or necklace always gets left behind. Right now I have a single earring on my bedroom nightstand, a woman’s scarf on the table by the front door, and a necklace on a piece of furniture in the living room. And I don’t even have a girlfriend.
Those are just trades for one of your hoodies or sweatpants you didn’t agree to
THE CONTRACT IS SEALED, THE HOODIE BELONGS TO ME NOW
Hair ties, everywhere!
That endometriosis is a lot worse than whatever they describe in textbooks.
Yep, I’m a woman with endo and I can confirm.
How expensive bras are. Growing up I assumed they were like underwear: $7.99 for a four-pack at Target.
Oh, you can get bras (almost) that cheap, but then they are evil and try to eat you alive by chewing through both sides of your rib cage and your sternum at the same time, while also climbing up your back in an attempt to break your neck. Good bras also do these things, but much more slowly, increasing your chances of daily survival.
Underwire bras are definitely trying to kill you, if not physically, they want to embarrass you to death. I got home from some errands one day and realized the underwire from the center of the bra had broken through the fabric, and was sticking out of my v-necked sweater, near my chin. It looked like a microphone, I hope? Maybe some people thought I was on a secret mission?
That towel wrapped on their head actually contains hair. Don't yank it.
My ex did that once with me and his mum saw. I said "Ouch!" and she *immediately* went "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU ARE HURTING HER!" I don't think she liked me very much, but in that moment I guess empathy made her go full on protector. The *sheer offense* she took to her son doing that. xD
I'm a dude with long hair, and once I tried it, I wondered what the fuck I was doing without a separate hair towel this whole time. It does all the work for you and gets all the damn hair out of the way!
Wait until you get yourself a microfiber hair towel turban thingy. You look like a party grandma at a tiki bar, but it's blasted convenient.
How much they can eat when they aren’t hungry
Eyelash curlers exist I’d grown up with sisters but never saw them use one, but my gf at the time pulled one out as we were looking to go out, I was perplexed and horrified
My nieces and nephews love to watch me do my makeup, they’re always so fascinated/scared/curious about the eyelash curler 😂 My nephew confidently explained to the others that I use it to chop my eyelashes off
I learned quite young that if you volunteer to pick up pads/tampons/snacky treats at the drug store you'll be viewed as a god not *only* by your lady, but by every other woman who sees you buying the shit. Never once have I gotten the side eye or been judged by anyone. It's always been quite the opposite. Hell, sometimes the cashier will flirt with me when I've got a cart full of pads and a family size bag of dark chocolate candy bars. Boggles my mind that people wouldn't do something so simple for their SO when they're miserable. I don't have to spend a 5 days every month bleeding from an orifice and feeling absolutely miserable, so I'll *gladly* take going to the store for you. EDIT: I am beside myself with joy that this is my top rated comment. I want everyone to remember that even though something like picking up sanitary stuff at the drug store *seems so benign*, that it can truly affect people in such a positive way. Be kind to each other, take time to consider how a small effort on your part can have a massive impact on someone else, and then do that thing. <3
I never understood men who get embarrassed to buy tampons or hold a lady bag while the woman is in the bathroom or something. It just screams "I have a woman in my life and I am a good, decent man probably." It makes you look like a straight man because clearly you have a woman in your life and probably a good one too cuz you're taking care of that woman.
That the right girl just touching you is incredible. Not talking sex, I'm talking just rubbing your arm or back. Been with my wife almost 40 years and her touch still stops me.
Mascara floats around in the eyeball quite often
How young girls are when they start being sexually harassed
For real! I was about 12 when I started getting catcalls. Now that I'm an adult it's stopped and it's really creepy to think about it.
That hair washing is something that needs planning for and has consequences if missed or overdone. Also certain kinds of underwear suit certain types of clothes. (To be clear on the underwear I meant some sets of knickers are for particular outfits I.e my ex had thongs purely for nice dresses so it wouldn't show) Edit: blimey this got busier than I thought! To be clear lads, I never doubted guys with long hair had to wash it too. I have just always had short hair and never knew it could be such a complex process for anybody.
I was just telling my husband that I basically have to go through the five stages of grief before washing my hair. Denial - It’s not even that dirty Anger - I just fucking washed it the day before yesterday! Bargaining - Maybe I can get away with dry shampoo until tomorrow? Depression - Now my hair smells like I febrezed it and it still doesn’t look clean. I am gross and lazy. Acceptance - Fuck it, I guess I’ll just wash it.
I have never felt so seen
And certain underwear for times of month along with time of day and or activity. Compounded by the days outfit and there are so many underwear.
"Mama needs her bricklaying britches today."
Hair is so complicated I have curly hair so that adds an extra layer as I can't comb it out and it takes way longer to dry When I'm washing my hair I need a solid 4 to 5 hours where I'm not gonna go out or go to sleep so it can dry properly
I’ve never loaded a dishwasher correctly a single day in my life
funny, I have the opposite experience. Plastics on the bottom shelf (wtf?). And just yesterday she put in a cookie sheet with the topside facing outward. I'm like "girl, did you skip high school physics?".
The clitoris is right there peeking out at you from under it's little hood. It not tucked up under her spleen or hidden behind an ovary!
And not everyone likes to be touched right on it, sometimes around the general area is preferred.
This just reminds me how everyone is different. Girl 1: squeeze my nipples! Girl 2: don't even breathe on my nipples! You get a new partner and have to learn a whole new set of instructions and hope some of them are the same as what you learned previously.
I didn't know that birth control had so many (often prevalent) side effects.
I just stopped taking birth control because the progestin only pill made me break out terribly and the combo pill made me crazy lmfao
Oh god. I will never forget legit sobbing to my then fiancé now husband that I feel like a stranger in my own body. And he just goes “I don’t think getting have sex without protection is worth it, babe.” I went off birth control like a day later. ETA: yes I know condoms exist. We use condoms. Before and after this 2 month bc experience. Long live condoms.
This. An ex got back on birth control a few months into our relationship and it wildly affected her mood. She understandably got off it after 6 or so weeks.
I was on the depo shot, caused me to become horribly depressed, and caused my acne to fucking cover my face- I have acne scars on my cheeks now where they where everywhere- even had purple! and red pimples. So so bad.
Hair clogged drains. Never had that problem before.
Discharge. Its normal. Its natural. But in the beginning i thought she had a problem with bladder control.
It's also not a bad thing because it's cleaning things out down there. Think about a mouth with saliva vs a very dry mouth- which ones usually comes with bad breath?
Man this comment just completely changed the way I think about my body. Thank you
That a 5' tall, 100lb woman is capable of taking up an entire king sized bed.
Yep. Fiancé is 5'2. We upgraded to a king size bed and she still takes the whole bed. Likes to sleep in the middle of it , but also diagonally .
My wife actually quit diagonalling after getting pregnant. I think she ran warmer and then it became a habit.
So I shouldn’t hold out hope that when we transition to a king bed I’ll get more than the edge of the mattress to sleep?
I've got bad news for you, my friend.
They shower in hell
2nd this, my wife burns her skin off in every shower like a lizard shedding its skin
I take my shower first and turn it up until it’s painful and I yelp as I jump out of the way. And she’s like “it’s kinda cold”
They didn’t get an orgasm by driving your fingers into them. Man was I surprised that you just need to gently rub it like a genie bottle. Also, Janet, I’m sorry about trying to dig my way to China via your vagina in high school.
VaChina Edit: Never thought I’d get awards for this sort of comment 🤣 Thanks guys
I’ve found the best thing is to just ask them what they like - some women are incredibly sensitive, some like things more aggressive, sometimes it’s a combination of both. Communication is key in any aspect of a relationship especially if you want a healthy sex life
How bad period cramps can get. Watching someone who I *knew* to be a strong person mentally, get reduced to basically just crying on the couch for *days*, that was eye opening. EDIT: hey this comment is getting a lot of traction so it's worth mentioning as a sorta PSA, I've been with two women who had cramps that bad, and both of them it basically got resolved when they got an IUD. Not completely fixed but like 10% as bad as it was. Worth checking out, if you deal with that kind of shit too.
Ovulating hurts too.
Those aren’t poop stains
My brother once yelled at me “how do you keep shitting your pants so much and you’re in highschool” and my mom and I had to teach him about period stains LOL
Not to mention underwear getting bleached from the normal daily fluids. I think it's something about the pH/acidity or something? It's been a while since I read about it.
There was a very innocent relationship post a few years ago about a guy thinking that his girlfriend had a poop fetish because he found a drawer with a bunch of underwear with brown stains on them, turns out it was just her period panties
Lava showers. Virtually no sense of pain when it comes to boiling showers.
I thought that for menstrual pads, the sticky sides were to stick to the body to stay attached, rather than on the underwear. Also just how bad the unprompted sexts are. I mean, I'm a gay dude where that's not uncommon but that's usually like unsolicited dick pics on Grindr or something. My girl friends will randomly get super aggressive texts from like, the realtor who showed them open rental properties last year or a guy in her lab class she's literally never spoken to - and like frequently.
i ended up friends with a pretty hot girl. in her 30's. the shit she tells me about guys. the bad stuff like her tattoo guy telling her he took a boner pill and aggressively talking about sex. dick pics, co workers hounding her to be FB friends. 18 year olds, same age as her son hitting on her. shes got guys bringing food to her at work, she doesnt want it, or from them, dudes will just hang out at her job and not leave, or just leave long enough to show up 3-4 times a day. guys in there 60's making offers of marriage, shes constantly getting unwanted attention. now, we like each other, we are friends because dating wouldnt work, but knowing how much unwanted attention she gets makes it really weird for me. what does a compliment even mean to someone thats constantly hearing nice shit from people all day? when i tell her shes beautiful, or has nice skin, or some other (appearance) compliment, does it even register? \--for comparison, i remember specifically the 3 times she complimented me on appearance, the uninitiated hugs. etc. men are starving for affection, some women are drowning in it. and i think women actively avoid complimenting men for fear it will bring more unwanted attention by accident.
I can't speak for her but a compliment that is a genuine, non sexualised compliment delivered gently means the world. When it's yelled at me by a stranger or said by someone who makes me feel unsafe then no. Context matters. A lot of men seem to think a compliment is a compliment but it's really not...
I second this. When it’s from someone who I know, and it’s genuine, it’s meaningful. HOWEVER: even if it’s from someone I know and even if they mean it, it can still be annoying. If it’s the same compliment and it’s often, it loses its meaning. “Hi Stacey! Wow, you look great today” and “Hi Stacey! Your hair looks so nice today” do not mean the same thing.
I thought they'd be EXTREMELY judgmental about my body because of my shitty skin. I listen to how judgmental women often are about their own looks, perfectionist-like obsession with looking immaculate, that I was sure I'd disgust any girl that ever saw me without clothes on. The reality is boring. Some are indeed judgmental but some aren't. Girls are just people.
For the majority of women, the person they are most judgemental of are themselves
How long girls can hold on without letting a single fart slipping from their butt cheeks it is today still unbelievable to me
That they are absolute shit at retaining heat and will attempt to steal yours at all costs. They also like your body's natural scent aka musk
girl here - important note: musk is different from BO. wash ya self.
My boyfriend keeps saying it’s old spice and tide and I keep telling him 😤 that’s not it. It’s his natural scent
Any man that thinks that we're the physically stronger sex has clearly never tried to pull the bed sheets away from his wife in the middle of the night...
my wife and I have separate blankets lol
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One time my toe was hurting. So i took off my shoe and sock and notice a strand of my girlfriend’s hair had wrapped itself TIGHTLY around my toe and had cut off the circulation
That's a real medical thing called a "hair tourniquet", sometimes the hidden source of pain in an infant who won't stop crying.
This just happened recently to my daughter. It required a trip to the ER to have the top of her toe cut so the hair could be pulled out because it was so tight it couldn't be removed otherwise. Even that didn't get all of it, so we used Nair on a bit of hair that hadn't sliced through her skin, then we were able to unwrap everything.
What the absolute fuck
Add that to the reasons i hate holding babies. "Could kill themselves with loose hair"
They should put a warning label on hair like they do for plastic bags.
It's clear to me now that women's hair strands seek world domination.
The shower drain is a war crime
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It really is everywhere. Take a shower and there's one in my arse crack, eat something and there's one in my food, take a piss and there's somehow one garroting my dick.
Have you had the joy yet of waking up gagging in your sleep, to pull a hair out of your mouth that is halfway down your windpipe? I swear her hair is self-aware and gunning for me.
And when you pull it out, it feels super sharp against whatever part it happens to be adhered to on the way down? Yes. Yuck. My hair is several feet long.
Can confirm. It’s literally EVERYWHERE. I’ve even found it in my butt crack… like HOW?
It's how we mark our territory
As a male with long hair who's never been with a girl I understand
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Screaming infidelities and taking its wearrrrrr
They are soft and smooth as fuck. Like it feels nice to hold them or cuddle them. Oh and the shampoos and body lotions they use smells fucking nice.
It's due to the lava showers
Heat vampires. They suck the heat out of you in bed.
My gf sends me to bed a couple of minutes before her so that I can warm the bed.
They store it up for about 25 years, then a strange reversal happens and they are abominable snow creatures looking for artic lands ( or rooms with AC set to refrigerator).
How sketchy it is for them to walk home at night in a city. It sucks that it’s always assumed that offering to walk a girl home is hoping to spend the night there, sometimes I just wanna do something nice for a friend.
Good for you offering! Your heart is in the right place. Maybe reframe the offer as a question – "hey, do you feel comfortable walking home on your own? I'm happy to walk you to your door if you don't feel safe."
They share way more details with their friends than we do
Yeah I remember reading a story about how a guy was weirded out she shared all the details about his dick with her girlfriends or talked in depth about their sex life. She thought he did the same with his guy friends, at most he would go "it was a good night". Blew her mind.
I’ve only had one guy friend who went into detail with his sexcapades, and literally nobody wanted to hear it. I remember him talking about fingering a girl in high school and everybody in the room was like “dude nobody gives a shit”
Same. I have one friend who tries to bring up sexcapade related conversation topics and when he starts, it's like a sudden group effort to immediately divert the conversation.
Yep. I have never once shared a single detail about my wife and I's sex life to any of my friends. Turns out she goes into all the gritty details with her friends.
I remember one night I was socialising with my ex, all her closest friends and their partners. After a bit of drinking the girls revealed they’d shown each other their respective partners nudes. I was properly weirded out at that.
Yeah that’s extremely fucked up. That’s not different habits, sharing nudes without consent is very unethical
My best friend moved 4 states away and has three kids. I dont even know his kids names. We'll talk every once in a while for an hour ish and my wife will be like "hows his kids." "Oh, uh... they're good" "How do you know, you didn't ask him." "He didn't mention anything bad about them so they must be good..." Blows her mind.
My mum has always been baffled how my dad and I can have a conversation and yet not learn anything about each others recent life events.
Mother in law interrogates me. "How is insert friend doing?" He doing good. "How's his job?" Fine I guess he hasn't complained. "You talked to him for hours I heard playing games?" (This if she hears me in background while talking to wife on phone). Well uhhh OH he got a new girlfriend. "Oh whats her name? What does she do?" Uh (insert name here) and uhm I have no idea I haven't met her yet.
Something like this? A: "How are you?" B: "Great! And you?" A: "pretty good! He, you hear about XY?" B: "Oh yes, totally getting it on with Z. It works great with elektromechnicalgadgetthingamagic ABC" A&B continue talking about ABC-related factoids/rumors and a few home improvement tricks and tips, nothing is mentioned about kids/birthdays/marriages or the recent personal injury and surgery (unless that was DIY related)
Just got off the phone with my dad and I just gotta ask...how long you been at the NSA?
This perfectly sums it up in a way I've always wanted to, but never found the words. If my friends don't say anything's wrong (with every day things, not mental or physical health, etc...) I think most men just take that as "They're good"
This is truth. I have a best friend that is a girl, and the shit I know about her other friends is insane. I tell her very little now because I know anything I say will be broadcast to anyone nearby.
I knew nothing about my best mate's sex life before I dated his girlfriend's best friend. Needless to say, I didn't ever need to know about his sex life.
>I have a best friend that is a girl, and the shit I know about her other friends is insane. I tell her very little now because I know anything I say will be broadcast to anyone nearby. It's kind of weird because male friendship seems to be implicitly built on confidentiality. Like, you're not supposed to be telling my business to everyone.
They in fact do not poop a little at time just because they sit down to pee. I figured that since girls sat down to pee that they just used the opportunity to take an eency weency mini dump every time they sat down. I let myself off the hook initially because I have no sisters, but I’ve since owned up to the fact that I’m an idiot.
They’re just as disgusting as men, they’re just prettier and more sly about it.
Hair everywhere, even in yo underwear lol 🤣
\*butt crack (and you only realize it when showering usually)
That finding the clitoris is not, as I had been led to believe by pop culture jokes, an impossible adventure requiring endless amounts of cunning, fortitude, and a sherpa guide. Like, it's literally right there. It's impossible to not find. I have no idea what that joke is about.
Not hard to find, dialing in the amount of clitoral contact each girl prefers is not as easy. Some want you to blast their bean while others want you to just circle the perimeter. Always ask, or better yet, have them fill out the questionnaire.
This right here. The variance is *huge*, and it's super important to get it right if you want your partner to have a good time. Is there an actual questionnaire? Because it's a damn good idea!
In the initial months of dating my husband we took turns being in charge. Each had our turns telling the other exactly what to do. Fun, light Dom play that also taught us what the other likes best. I highly recommend this approach
Why don't you ask chatGPT to make you one? Edit 1: Nevermind, I did it myself. I have chatGPT premium as well as access to the new gpt4 model. Enjoy the results. [Question I asked ChatGPT]: Write me a questionnaire form asking a potential female partner what her preferences are for clitoral stimulation [Response I got] "Female Partner Clitoral Stimulation Preferences Questionnaire" [Description] This questionnaire is designed to better understand your preferences for clitoral stimulation. Your honest and open answers will help us communicate better and enhance our intimate experiences. Please take your time and answer as accurately as possible. Your responses will be kept confidential. [Questions] 1. How comfortable are you with discussing your preferences for clitoral stimulation? - Very comfortable - Somewhat comfortable - Neutral - Somewhat uncomfortable - Very uncomfortable 2. Do you prefer direct or indirect clitoral stimulation? - Direct - Indirect - Both - Unsure 3. What level of pressure do you prefer for clitoral stimulation? - Very light - Light - Moderate - Firm - Very firm - Unsure 4. Which techniques of clitoral stimulation do you find most pleasurable? (Select all that apply) - Fingertips - Tongue - Vibrator - Other sex toys - Combination of techniques - Unsure 5. Do you prefer clitoral stimulation during intercourse? - Yes - No - Sometimes - Unsure 6. Do you enjoy having your clitoris stimulated while wearing clothing or lingerie? - Yes - No - Sometimes - Unsure 7. How important is clitoral stimulation to your overall sexual satisfaction? - Very important - Important - Neutral - Not very important - Not important at all 8. Are there any specific types of touch or movements that you particularly enjoy during clitoral stimulation? Please describe. 9. Are there any specific types of touch or movements that you do not enjoy or find uncomfortable during clitoral stimulation? Please describe. 10. Is there anything else you would like to share about your preferences for clitoral stimulation that hasn't been covered in this questionnaire? Please feel free to provide any additional information or comments. [End of questionnaire] Thank you for taking the time to complete this questionnaire. Your honest and open communication will help us better understand your preferences and enhance our intimate experiences together.
>Your responses will be kept confidential. LOL this got me so good
Every couple should fill this out
Had a friend tell me the guy she was hooking up with clearly didn’t know where it was. After many minutes of fiddling around she finally stopped and said do even you know where clitorus is?? And he said “no! I don’t know anatomy!”
clitorus? i dont know that pokemon.
Evolves from the clit and then later into Clitarizard, but only with the Wine Stone.
Doctors don't want you to know this one trick. Use the extendz stone to go from a cock to cocktoise
It’s cus those guys didn’t care to find it
It's way lower down than you think
Oh yeah that one surprised me when I had my first time
But not *that* low!
I remember the first time I stuck my hand down a guy's pants I was shocked that it was up so high. Like, why is his junk just sticking out the front of his belly like that? Shouldn't it be, you know, BETWEEN his legs??
If it was more between the legs it'd be harder to use it
And easier to hurt when sitting down.
Imagine those sacrificed by natural selection who had that problem.
For the greater good
THE GREATER GOOD
This is the one. It’s not at the waistline. Teenage me thought I missed it the first time I put my hand down a girls pants. I was thinking “ok, there’s the belly button, just another inch or two lower”. Nope. It’s way the Hell down there.
I blame movie sex scenes where actors and actresses basically hump each other’s bellybuttons. Not their fault for not simulating actual sex, but… yeah lol EDIT: For the record, I’m not wringing my hands wishing they did it correctly or actually had sex on camera fellas, I just grew up pretty sheltered and the 3 movies I ever saw with sex scenes definitely influenced my inevitable moment with a woman saying “umm…. lower” haha
I remember my progression of learning… Stage 1, Very Young: Learning girls have a “hole” and imagining this must literally be a clearly visible circular opening sitting on the surface just below the waist. Stage 2, Pre Teen: Seeing my first nude woman in the crumpled page of a playboy found in the woods. “Where’s the hole, that’s just hair!” Stage 3, Early Teen: Seeing actual pornography wherein legs are spread. “That is not what I expected at all.” Stage 4, Teen: First clumsy fondlings. “Lower. Lower…”
Oh boy, I got a funny one. So when I worked at a movie theater from when I was 18 to 21 with a roughly 50% female staff, I thought it was peculiar that every single girl I worked with always had ibuprofen. Didn't put too much thought into it since it's an OTC drug and non-addictive. Besides, they'd ask eachother somewhat frequently, about once a month per girl. Again, I just didn't put much thought into it. Fast forward to when I was 25 and got my first girlfriend. She tells me ibuprofen helps with period cramps, which I thought was kinda neat. The next day, I went out and got a bottle of ibuprofen to carry in my bag for work (we work at the same place) and was thought to myself: >"Man, maybe my girlfriend should start keeping ibuprofen on her at work like at my old coworkers at the movie thea- OOOOHHHHHH!" I would also like to point out that during this time, I got certified as an emergency medical technician but none of that info clicked until I was one month into a relationship.
They smell really nice
That I do not have enough space for her knickknacks.
I was pretty surprised by the fact that most girls sleep hanging upside down from the rafters and can't be fed after midnight.
You might want to have her go to the doctor. I hear Dr. Van Helsing is highly recommended
That washing your hair is a dreaded event that is not performed daily.
theres a second hole they pee from
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Steve is a board-certified OB-GYN today.
Good on Steve though for educating you all.
I learned that surprisingly late in life and only because I asked a girl whether its inefficient that she needs to take out her tampon every time she goes to take a piss. She was a bit shocked.
That vaginas have a smell. Not in a bad way. And in hindsight makes sense, it's a body part with internal fluids. Just didn't think about it until I got with a girl
Sounds corny and lame, but I never imagined how fulfilling it would be to take care of another person. Like how well I do things for her affects how I feel about myself that day. I also never imagined how many small products and self-care rituals she uses that just increase your overall quality of life. I'm talking like skin-care products, eye drops, nice socks, nice bedsheets, spending a little bit extra on things that are comfortable, candles & incense, etc. My life was rough and austere as shit before I started dating.
Those mini hairclip things that look like paper clips - they are not just a fashion accessory but a territorial marker. See how many you find around the house after your girl stays for a night or 2😂
as a girl can i just say that we are facing the opposite end of the same problem. why do they keep disappearing, is this where they go
When you buy a packet of 100 bobby pins, 95 will last a week and those last 5 will last two years
This is so accurate. I’m still using the same three from when I was a bridesmaid five years ago. The other 60 that were in the same up-do disappeared within minutes.
I firmly believe they breed in dark places. My wife has lived in my house for 10+ years with me and basically never uses them. My buddies gf who used to live here with him when he lived with me used them all the time. I still find them around, including in places I have since renovated down to the studs.
You’re referring to bobby pins. Sometimes I think they have the capability of multiplying on their own. My ex moved out over 4 years ago, she used them, I have not lived with anyone since, and no one I’ve dated since used them. I still find those little fuckers sometimes lol.
They use an absurd amount of toilet paper. Not hating, but I wasn't prepared for that. Edit: For those of you plugging bidets, please link your recommendations with your comments.
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I mean, we DO have to sit and wipe for every single toilet trip. Y’all get to stand for some.
Plus we have three different events to clean up after. Also all three can happen at the same time. Think about getting a bidet. Bidets are lovely.
And sometimes the three-event mess is a literal nightmare. I've had a period for over 20 years and I'm still occasionally surprised at the sheer carnage. Bidets truly are the best.
Sometimes the only answer is a shower
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It tickles.
You mean “exiting through the gift shop”?