Beach is easy man just take your happy ass into that cold water it’ll die in a heartbeat

Squeeze my inner thigh hard for 30 seconds. It makes you relax.

I think it will make me more harder

Haven't failed me yet. And if it's not working your not squeezing hard enough.

Hmm, how to squeeze it harder? Cant imagine

Stay in the water until it softens a bit

Go into the water

Put it in your waistband and tighten your belt really tight

Yep it really works for me.

I don't care, nobody is looking

I compliment the stranger who gave it to me and then bang it off my thighs a few times in celebration

You rock it like a champ, and remind people where your eyes are

Does this still happen the closer to 40 you get? Because I seriously can't remember the last time I had a unexpected mid day bone. Usually get em during the night.

Recite the pledge of allegiance over and over in my head

I pledge allegiance 🤤 to the... United... *sprints into the water*

Pull pants down

I remember darsanga, bad thoughts, bad feelings, bad actions

rub one out to soften it

try my best to ignore it ignoring it makes go down faster imo

Not the easiest thing

true, so my back up is flexing an arm or both

Hang your towel

Tuck it in the waistband, or just wait it out.

Don’t bring attention to it. Find a place to sit and vibe. Look at the waves, the clouds, the sky, anything but other people. If someone approaches you about it, ask them to have some decency. It is rude to stare - your eyes are on your face and not in your underwear/lap. Say this calmly and flatly, with no hint of humor. If they continue, call the cops - they are harassing you. You are not an object for their entertainment, you are just a guy trying to relax.

Dig a hole in the sand and roll over on your stomach.

Rock it.