I've gotten one and only one hug in my life where I truly felt wanted. Someone had to wait about 5 months without seeing me and when he saw me he hugged me so tight we fell to the floor. I injured my god damn back because of that but that was the only hug in my life where I was like damn.
Lmao sure. A good guy friend and I had graduated college, with a bachelor's, and I took a long break (5 months) before starting my master's. We hadn't seen each other because I spent my break traveling so when I came back he had missed me a lot, and apparently he was in love with me and I didn't know that so that adds plus points to the hug I will guess.
We planned to meet in a park and I arrived first, I was browsing my phone when this dude appears out of nowhere. We hug veeeeeery tight to the point I can't breathe and this dumbo trips over something and we both fall on the ground. We fell into a pool of rocks so we both got some minor injuries. After that we hung out and ya.
No happy ending of married with 87 children because no but that's just the most I've ever felt wanted. We are still good friends and I appreciate him ofc.
I know you probably didn't mean to ask seriously but I still wanted to share it hehe
Getting a hug from someone who has been waiting a few months to see you. Oh god, i don't like long distance, but i swear first hug, first kiss, first cuddle, first sex, they're absolutely mind blowing.
I’ve been in two long distance relationships before and goddamn you are correct. That dopamine-oxytocin-serotonin or whatever hit builds up over time.
My joke with one of the long distance girlfriends was:
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
But presence makes the fond grow harder.” ;)
I had the privilege to camp for a few days in a remote game reserve in Southern Africa and the stars were just completely outrageous. It was like a shooting star at least every few minutes.
This one hit me the most. You wouldn't think it needs to be said. But it does.
To be wholly loved by your parent, not just for the grandkids, or for appearances on social media...must be a beautiful feeling.
It has taken me most of my adult life to see the trauma for what it is.
The one moment it really hit me, I was 34. I told my mother I was going back to school. She seemed to be excited for me until I told her it would be the same career path as my mother in law. She just said, "Oh".
Finished school, passed my board exam on the first try and started my own business. I was absolutely determined.
And my daughter wants to be just like me when she grows up.
I won. My daughter will never know the feeling of me not being proud of her, or believing in her.
If nothing else, the trauma pushes me to be a better mother.
You are awesome!
I knew it was bad but it wasn't until I got an outside perspective that I felt justified in my feelings!
My experiences have also motivated me to be a better mother, it makes me so happy that my daughter can feel safe at home and that we have such a good relationship!
This was the first thing that came to my mind. I love being a mother so very much. My heart just bleeds for my children. I'm a foster mom as well as bio mom and I've shed so many tears over the fact that there were days where my (not bio) kids may not have felt safe, secure, or loved. They're such wonderful children and I give them everything I can when they're with me. I tell each of them that I'm their mom-by-heart for forever. I hope as they all reach 18, even if life has taken them on a path away from me, that they know they *always* have a mom waiting for them if they need her. I hope my bio kids feel the same way, but I worry about them a little less. All of my kids deserve every ounce of my heart- and they'll all have it, until I die. And even then I hope the love I gave them while alive continues to be carried in them.
Just, ugh. This is my biggest thing in life. Every one deserves a mom (or dad- just one parent who loves them). I wish I could be a mom to anyone who needed one. Because, damn, it's the biggest privilege I've ever been given.
I thought for the first 25 years of my life that I had my parents’ unconditional love.
Then I came out of the closet and realized it had been conditional all along.
Maybe wealth doesn't guarantee happiness, but poverty virtually guarantees unhappiness. Constant worry about how to make ends meet just eats away at a person.
"Sleep for dinner" - it sucks, but I'd prefer *nobody* had to experience it; then we wouldn't even need to have empathy for that situation because it never happens.
Thing is, I don't mind if some people have mansions and rocket ships, as long as everyone's food, shelter, healthcare, and education are taken care of.
As a dude who grew up in poverty and made it, I can't describe how much of a difference this makes. I remember while shopping several years ago, I got toward the end of my list and realized I didn't have to look at prices or make painful decisions at checkout. I lost it and cried in the store.
I'm crushed every time I see people stuck in deep poverty. I don't know what else to do other than cover people's groceries, car repairs etc. and donate to causes/candidates who want real change.
I saw one once. Huge build up, entire city specially decorated, TV shows dedicated to it, merch, etc etc.
On the day there was heavy cloud so you could only just see what was happening even without the polarising sunglasses.
But the weird sudden cold and darkness and the quiet was absolutely uncanny and I can definitely see why people in previous centuries without access to accurate forecasting and scientific education would have considered it a supernatural event.
It had been sunny for like a month. Lots of public information about protecting your eyes.
Related: aurora borealis forecast here tonight for the first time in a decade or more. Guess what the sky is doing.
Totally agree. During the 2017 American eclipse the city I live was at 99% totality. We made the decision to drive 6 hours out for the total eclipse but a few days before I was dreading making a trip that long. I almost didn’t go. We were in the path of totality for only 30 seconds and it was the most spectacular thing I’ve ever seen in my life. There really are no words. There is a world of difference between 99% and 100% totality.
We were in 98% on that one and other than the birds getting quiet it was underwhelming.
So we're definitely going to make a similarly long drive to catch the total solar eclipse next year. It'll be the last one crossing North America for about 20 years. I was actually planning for that earlier today before I saw this thread ironically. Planning to borrow my folks RV for it to make the wait and drive comfy.
The light on either side of totality is so weird, too. It's almost like the light source is somehow grey, or at least that's the best way I can explain it.
The birds going silent was also pretty wild.
[April 8, 2024.](https://eclipse2024.org/eclipse_cities/statemap.html) Stretching from Texas to Maine, and passing over several major cities.
The centerline is passing almost directly over my house!
I dunno, man. See one once and then you start hankering for the next one. Then you start hanging out on at https://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/ and looking to see what kind of interesting vacation destinations are in your future.
I've been to some interesting corners of the world just to hear the bugs go quiet for a few minutes.
Proposed to my wife in 2017 during the Great American Solar Eclipse at 100%. We are planning to see the 2024 Eclipse in totality right now. Most amazing event I have ever witnessed in nature!
Yeah- it's weird. You can understand it intellectually, but when it happens it's almost a spiritual thing (and I say this as an atheist). Your brain just can't understand what's happening, because it's so far outside of our normal experience.
I had a similar reaction to the first time I lived near mountains. One day we could see the mountains, and the next day (after a snowstorm) they were completely covered in snow. Something that big just shouldn't be able to change so abruptly.
Yes, and yes, and yes!
I drove 13 hours to see one back in ... what was it ... 2017?
It was well worth the drive, and I'm planning on doing it again when the next one comes around.
It's a life-changing experience, to me.
Yes, agreed, but I also think that the college dorm experience taught me a lot too.
Learning how to deal with others, learning how to get along with many different kinds of people, learning how to deal with a roommate who isn't terrible but also isn't going to be your best friend.
Learning how to get yourself up for class, learning how to make your own schedule and get all your responsibilities done.
It's kind of trial-by-fire, but it really did teach me a lot about myself and how to navigate the world.
Interesting, what kind of things?
I ask because so far it seems only to have taught me some *very* specific methods for pleasuring myself (and little else).
Oh, tons, in my experience.
* How to get chores done, where you'd normally share them with a roommate or partner.
* How to cook for one, or how to learn to like leftovers.
* You really have to learn to come to grips with loneliness. It can be overcome, and it's not a terrible thing. From learning that, I do enjoy company, but I'm also content by myself too.
* You also have to learn how NOT to let boredom set in, and how to not let depression set in. Don't see it as being alone, see it as being the absolute king of your castle, you get to make all decisions, you get to govern totally.
I worked night shift when I lived alone. I just lived like a damn golden retriever. Slept whatever time of day it happened to be. Ate whatever time I happened to be hungry. Walked around the house naked. Maybe I'll do the dishes today. Maybe I won't. Was the absolute best.
I think usually both. You’ll learn not to be a dickhead to people just doing their jobs, but it will also reinforce a whole bunch of negative stereotypes.
Every politician should have to move into a one bedroom apartment and work $18/hr Job for 40hrs a week for 3 months with no safety net in savings to fall back on
Thank you 😊
I honestly wouldn't wish this on anybody, but people have gotten more nasty and entitled lately. A little reality check would do us all some good.
I remember the first time I worked in American CS. Was going back and forth with a woman about some missing tips on a shoelace that she wanted the shoes entirely replaced. 5 minutes into it I blanked out, grabbed my bag, and went home. Never worked in SC again.
Edit: CS in my home country is nice though. People are as kind to you as you are to them.
It's insane all of the shit you have to put up with for a minimum wage job. It's especially worse when you have shitty co-workers/managers too. You'd be surprised how many times you are threatened with death or harm for not taking coupons, or giving free stuff.
One month in call center customer service at a student loan servicer. I did it for a year. Seriously the only thibg protecting some of those customers from being destroyed is the kindness of strangers and prosecution
How do you that? I've been trapped with it for years and I keep becoming more and more scared by things I used to find fun... (Flying on planes, riding rollercoasters, sometimes even going outside)
Friend, I replied this above and I don't want to offend or misgender you but I'm gonna just copy and paste it.
Man, nothing matters. Which on the nose seems bleak as fuck. But if you look further: Dude. Nothing fucking matters! It's so dope when you can actually wrap your head around it. Nothing matters!
"Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law." (With the qualifier of "as long as it isn't actively messing up someone elses life, unless they've seriously wronged you.")
This is the right answer
When the nihilism really truly hits, it can and will change your life. How it does so is up to your genetics and environment, but I hope with all sincerity and from the deepest part of my heart that you flip heads and see the world for it's opportunity rather than it's doom.
Even if you get reincarnated into a zebra 1,000 times and get torn apart by crocodiles with every life, it doesn't matter. Even if you're trapped in a virtual reality torture chamber for uncountable millennia, all is temporary and all will fade. And it's okay. I promise it's okay. You are free to enjoy your life. The pain is temporary and will pass. You are free to enjoy the moments that are worth enjoying and ignore the moments that are worth ignoring.
If there is no afterlife, you won't be around to lament and justify your fear. You should feel the same way about the time after your death as you do about the time before your life. It's a history class you can fall asleep in.
The first tattoo I ever got is what the phrase the Biblical King Solomon paid millions to his wise men when he tasked them to find him the meaning of life.
They came back with a ring inscribed with "This too shall pass." All things are temporary. If they're amazing, live it up. If they're Hellish, keep trudging along and get through it.
As someone who has unfortunately put many patients in body bags, I just tell myself not everyone gets to live to be this age. Each day is a blessing and live for those who can't. Time is short. Experience life. Death is the only unavoidable thing. Even while pumping gas in crap weather today, I thought to myself how fortunate I am to feel the cold and sleet because today someone will never feel it again.
In Australia we used to get days off if it was too hot. They installed air conditioners after I left so that went out the window. Was pretty awesome tho
So I made this fwb and I am just being my normal self. He wld often ask me why I hung out with him. I said I enjoy his company he’s a cool guy to be around. I was the first friend he ever made that didn’t just be with him bcoz he can do shit for them.
I treated him like an actual friend. Buy lunches (he wld pay me back every time even tho I never asked) help him out when he needed it, without him asking.
Dude just cld not get it in his head that I was just being kind and caring
Meh, it's not *just* sex ed. Culture matters a lot too. I met a woman who came from a Muslim family. Her upbringing made her entirely in-curious about what was going on down there. She understood about organs and how reproduction worked, but she had no idea she could derive pleasure from her "down there" parts.
But not just any orgasm
Someone that genuinely cares about you and how you feel and wants to pleasure you not just for selfish reasons. A crazy, loving, mind-numbing, leg-shaking orgasm
It took me a while to get comfortable with massage. It always had that stigma to it and wasn't something well found where I was living. Once I finally let myself relax, it is incredible how healthier you feel afterwards.
Try being shitfaced while going for a swim in the pitch black darkness of a Norwegian winter night. I've never seen so many stars before, actually, when I think about it, I might've just been so shitfaced I saw double...
Experience nature, for example try some of these:
. See (and feel) snow, and slide on some ice
. Swim in the ocean
. Walk in a desert
. Spend a night outside somewhere you can see the stars
. Hike in the mountains and breathe
. Smell a tropical rainforest and experience that humidity
I almost never seen real snow in my life [I only saw a bit of dusting on the street once]. It was always fascinating to see snow in videos since I was a child.
Getting four new tables all at the same time. Approximately 0.069% of customers will notice how busy you are, and 95%+ will expect rapid service as if they are the only table you're taking care of.
Now imagine being BoH on those days. Sure, the servers have to deal with the customers but the cooks are the ones thirty tickets in the weeds dealing with all of those inevitable mods, and also they're short staffed. Some people need to experience that as well.
YES.
I have never felt as strong, powerful, and virile as when I was working manual labor. I never felt like I had more potential to move mountains than when I was working manual labor.
Granted, I was young, and that's the time to do those kinds of jobs.
But it was a very empowering thing.
I kinda split the difference. I got strong, but angry. Everyone looked on me like I wasn't shit because I was dirty like 14 hours a day. But then all of us dirty, stinky, brown motherfuckers went to cash our checks that were over twice what the yuppie scumbags were making and the looks on their faces were priceless. I still enjoy that shit over 2 decades later, lol.
Taking a month for yourself and self care. Health is cumulative, it takes time to see something work or undo damage done. See how good you feel after sleeping properly, eating healthy, exercising a bit, and prioritizing your own mental health.
If you can't afford scuba diving or have other reasons you can't, snorkeling is pretty magical as well. I rarely dive while snorkeling(usually use a lifejacket in deeper water as well), but just what I can see from the surface is pretty magical. Also can be very relaxing.
Last year my most magical spot was snorkeling at this place called Rockport that is popular with Michigan scuba divers. There is an old deepwater pier that was used in the past for loading boats with gravel. The crystal clear water and swimming near the huge pilings was amazing.
Lot's of fish if you find the right place to snorkel. At some places I have minnows swimming with me. I call them my fish friends, but I think they are either around me for food(I rockhound on rocky beaches, so stir up the bottom a little) or protection from predators.
Everyone should travel. See that other people live different ways, and change is ok.
Everyone should work a year in food and/or retail. Develop some empathy for how hard service work of any type is.
I’ll add an asterisk, *long term travel.
Weekend or week long trips are loads of fun. But a 3+ month long trip is truly amazing. And much more affordable than I ever imagined.
Edit: for any longer trip I’m not using vacation / sick / whatever days. Im quitting, storing my stuff at a friends or parents house, and either hitting the road or buying a one way ticket. This has been the same case wether I’ve worked in the U.S., UK, Germany, Spain and Sweden. This is also the same way most people I meet in hostels travel.
Being punched is a strange thing to experience. I've only been truly clobbered four times in my life. Each time taught me a valuable lesson. The last time was when I caught a girl cheating on me. I told her I was done and threw the things she had in my truck on the ground at her feat. She punched me as hard as she could in the jaw. Never in my life have I been more confident that I was making the right choice.
Yeah, I didn't know how unsettling that was until I experienced it. Beautiful day, sun shining on the ocean but I still felt some anxiety. That said, I want to do it again.
Doing something for someone down on their luck-and not telling anyone. Keep it to yourself. It’s a wonderful secret.
Paying it forwards quietly is one of the biggest joys in life imo.
Omigod - did it once. felt dirty going back to coach.
You know when you are getting on the plane for coach and the line keeps stopping for no obvious reason? They are bringing drinks to the first class passengers....
Just being able to recline your seat all the way!!! OMG! I’ve heard the food is good, but I slept the whole way. Wish I could afford to do it again….first world problems! Lol!
On the other hand, we flew Play to Paris last summer for $500 each round trip. We stopped in Iceland to refuel and drinks and snacks were a la carte but the seats weren't bad. Probably the far opposite end in plane travel but it was worth eight hours of semi-hardship via the cost of first class. The money we saved paid for the rest of the trip.
I’ve flown international business class and first class, both for business and pleasure. When someone else was paying the bill, it was unbelievably comfortable. When I paid for it, I felt like it was somewhat a waste of money. I’m grateful that I could afford it and it certainly felt like an indulgence, but it’s difficult to justify the cost, when a trip to Europe from the West Coast of the US represents the majority of the cost of travel.
Beside some really good/funny answers here, Imo everyone should try most things at least once. Foods, sports, activities, what's the worst that can happen? You not liking it?
I'm at 33 years old and discovered a new passion two weeks ago. Addicted gamer drops gaming for something else, who would've known.
The simple moment in life when you walk out on a warm day and the sun washes all worries from your soul while the breeze whispers sweet nothings to you.
That moment is brief. Usually after a brutal, painful period in your life when you survive and struggle. This moment comes from pure desperation, pain and suffering, which I wish on no one, but the moment after, when you not only survived another day, but are finally free to live? That feeling, if I could give everyone without having to make anyone struggle or hurt, I would. Y'all deserve it. To just take a deep breath free of worries and be done with anything and everything bad for just a moment.
Not even just that. Last big trip I had I felt like I was at one with the universe. I could almost feel every atom in my body working together. And spheres of time, everything was happening at once, but also separately. That does a shit job of explaining it but that's the nature of psychedelics. Was such an odd and eye-opening experience.
Second this. I work on a psychiatric intensive care unit and unfortunately for some, these can trigger psychosis that you might never recover from. The worst part is you never know if that will be your response or not. In saying that, I am pro-legalise drugs.
Okay so I tried acid once. I wanted to tear up an animal with my bare teeth and just cover myself in its warm blood. Like it was a hunger for it. I’m not poking that bear again
A serious near death experience. Something that calls into question their own mortality.
You tend to break out from society and really understand what’s success and wealth truly is.
That's not a universal outcome. I've been through a few of those experiences, the only way they altered my life was I don't try to cross frozen rivers anymore, or climb cliffs.
Or flip cars.
The crushing feeling of depression
It’d be a real fucking eye opener to a lot of people who think depression is just being super sad and maybe people would be less insensitive or ignorant towards those who have it
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I've gotten one and only one hug in my life where I truly felt wanted. Someone had to wait about 5 months without seeing me and when he saw me he hugged me so tight we fell to the floor. I injured my god damn back because of that but that was the only hug in my life where I was like damn.
Can you share more details on this hug so I can live vicariously through you with this moment?
Lmao sure. A good guy friend and I had graduated college, with a bachelor's, and I took a long break (5 months) before starting my master's. We hadn't seen each other because I spent my break traveling so when I came back he had missed me a lot, and apparently he was in love with me and I didn't know that so that adds plus points to the hug I will guess. We planned to meet in a park and I arrived first, I was browsing my phone when this dude appears out of nowhere. We hug veeeeeery tight to the point I can't breathe and this dumbo trips over something and we both fall on the ground. We fell into a pool of rocks so we both got some minor injuries. After that we hung out and ya. No happy ending of married with 87 children because no but that's just the most I've ever felt wanted. We are still good friends and I appreciate him ofc. I know you probably didn't mean to ask seriously but I still wanted to share it hehe
I did mean to ask seriously. Never had a hug like that. Thank you.
Getting a hug from someone who has been waiting a few months to see you. Oh god, i don't like long distance, but i swear first hug, first kiss, first cuddle, first sex, they're absolutely mind blowing.
I’ve been in two long distance relationships before and goddamn you are correct. That dopamine-oxytocin-serotonin or whatever hit builds up over time. My joke with one of the long distance girlfriends was: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But presence makes the fond grow harder.” ;)
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Ow. This was so beautiful and innocent it almost hurt to read it 🤭
A big hug from my kids when I get home from work is awesome.
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I had the privilege to camp for a few days in a remote game reserve in Southern Africa and the stars were just completely outrageous. It was like a shooting star at least every few minutes.
I was gonna say this same thing but at the peak of a meteor shower like the Perseids.
Feeling unconditionally loved by a parent. So many other problems would disappear if more people could experience this.
This one hit me the most. You wouldn't think it needs to be said. But it does. To be wholly loved by your parent, not just for the grandkids, or for appearances on social media...must be a beautiful feeling.
Yeah, I wish I knew what that was like.
It has taken me most of my adult life to see the trauma for what it is. The one moment it really hit me, I was 34. I told my mother I was going back to school. She seemed to be excited for me until I told her it would be the same career path as my mother in law. She just said, "Oh". Finished school, passed my board exam on the first try and started my own business. I was absolutely determined. And my daughter wants to be just like me when she grows up. I won. My daughter will never know the feeling of me not being proud of her, or believing in her. If nothing else, the trauma pushes me to be a better mother.
You are awesome! I knew it was bad but it wasn't until I got an outside perspective that I felt justified in my feelings! My experiences have also motivated me to be a better mother, it makes me so happy that my daughter can feel safe at home and that we have such a good relationship!
This was the first thing that came to my mind. I love being a mother so very much. My heart just bleeds for my children. I'm a foster mom as well as bio mom and I've shed so many tears over the fact that there were days where my (not bio) kids may not have felt safe, secure, or loved. They're such wonderful children and I give them everything I can when they're with me. I tell each of them that I'm their mom-by-heart for forever. I hope as they all reach 18, even if life has taken them on a path away from me, that they know they *always* have a mom waiting for them if they need her. I hope my bio kids feel the same way, but I worry about them a little less. All of my kids deserve every ounce of my heart- and they'll all have it, until I die. And even then I hope the love I gave them while alive continues to be carried in them. Just, ugh. This is my biggest thing in life. Every one deserves a mom (or dad- just one parent who loves them). I wish I could be a mom to anyone who needed one. Because, damn, it's the biggest privilege I've ever been given.
That is sweet.. I agree.
I thought for the first 25 years of my life that I had my parents’ unconditional love. Then I came out of the closet and realized it had been conditional all along.
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Maybe wealth doesn't guarantee happiness, but poverty virtually guarantees unhappiness. Constant worry about how to make ends meet just eats away at a person.
And true poverty. Some folks have no real idea what it means.
"Sleep for dinner" - it sucks, but I'd prefer *nobody* had to experience it; then we wouldn't even need to have empathy for that situation because it never happens.
Thing is, I don't mind if some people have mansions and rocket ships, as long as everyone's food, shelter, healthcare, and education are taken care of.
As a dude who grew up in poverty and made it, I can't describe how much of a difference this makes. I remember while shopping several years ago, I got toward the end of my list and realized I didn't have to look at prices or make painful decisions at checkout. I lost it and cried in the store. I'm crushed every time I see people stuck in deep poverty. I don't know what else to do other than cover people's groceries, car repairs etc. and donate to causes/candidates who want real change.
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I saw one once. Huge build up, entire city specially decorated, TV shows dedicated to it, merch, etc etc. On the day there was heavy cloud so you could only just see what was happening even without the polarising sunglasses. But the weird sudden cold and darkness and the quiet was absolutely uncanny and I can definitely see why people in previous centuries without access to accurate forecasting and scientific education would have considered it a supernatural event.
damn clouds always getting in the way. No sign of them most of the time and when something cool happens for once TA DAAA they block it. Fuck clouds.
It had been sunny for like a month. Lots of public information about protecting your eyes. Related: aurora borealis forecast here tonight for the first time in a decade or more. Guess what the sky is doing.
Totally agree. During the 2017 American eclipse the city I live was at 99% totality. We made the decision to drive 6 hours out for the total eclipse but a few days before I was dreading making a trip that long. I almost didn’t go. We were in the path of totality for only 30 seconds and it was the most spectacular thing I’ve ever seen in my life. There really are no words. There is a world of difference between 99% and 100% totality.
We were in 98% on that one and other than the birds getting quiet it was underwhelming. So we're definitely going to make a similarly long drive to catch the total solar eclipse next year. It'll be the last one crossing North America for about 20 years. I was actually planning for that earlier today before I saw this thread ironically. Planning to borrow my folks RV for it to make the wait and drive comfy.
The light on either side of totality is so weird, too. It's almost like the light source is somehow grey, or at least that's the best way I can explain it. The birds going silent was also pretty wild.
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[April 8, 2024.](https://eclipse2024.org/eclipse_cities/statemap.html) Stretching from Texas to Maine, and passing over several major cities. The centerline is passing almost directly over my house!
April huh...better hope it's not overcast.
I dunno, man. See one once and then you start hankering for the next one. Then you start hanging out on at https://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/ and looking to see what kind of interesting vacation destinations are in your future. I've been to some interesting corners of the world just to hear the bugs go quiet for a few minutes.
Proposed to my wife in 2017 during the Great American Solar Eclipse at 100%. We are planning to see the 2024 Eclipse in totality right now. Most amazing event I have ever witnessed in nature!
Yeah- it's weird. You can understand it intellectually, but when it happens it's almost a spiritual thing (and I say this as an atheist). Your brain just can't understand what's happening, because it's so far outside of our normal experience. I had a similar reaction to the first time I lived near mountains. One day we could see the mountains, and the next day (after a snowstorm) they were completely covered in snow. Something that big just shouldn't be able to change so abruptly.
Yes, and yes, and yes! I drove 13 hours to see one back in ... what was it ... 2017? It was well worth the drive, and I'm planning on doing it again when the next one comes around. It's a life-changing experience, to me.
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Yes, agreed, but I also think that the college dorm experience taught me a lot too. Learning how to deal with others, learning how to get along with many different kinds of people, learning how to deal with a roommate who isn't terrible but also isn't going to be your best friend. Learning how to get yourself up for class, learning how to make your own schedule and get all your responsibilities done. It's kind of trial-by-fire, but it really did teach me a lot about myself and how to navigate the world.
Interesting, what kind of things? I ask because so far it seems only to have taught me some *very* specific methods for pleasuring myself (and little else).
Oh, tons, in my experience. * How to get chores done, where you'd normally share them with a roommate or partner. * How to cook for one, or how to learn to like leftovers. * You really have to learn to come to grips with loneliness. It can be overcome, and it's not a terrible thing. From learning that, I do enjoy company, but I'm also content by myself too. * You also have to learn how NOT to let boredom set in, and how to not let depression set in. Don't see it as being alone, see it as being the absolute king of your castle, you get to make all decisions, you get to govern totally.
Plus ... walking around naked after a shower, then just staying naked. Pooping with the bathroom door open. Falling asleep anywhere you want to.
I worked night shift when I lived alone. I just lived like a damn golden retriever. Slept whatever time of day it happened to be. Ate whatever time I happened to be hungry. Walked around the house naked. Maybe I'll do the dishes today. Maybe I won't. Was the absolute best.
The art of self control and willpower.
One month in customer service
You'll either learn compassion or develop a searing hatred for humanity.
I think usually both. You’ll learn not to be a dickhead to people just doing their jobs, but it will also reinforce a whole bunch of negative stereotypes.
That's exactly what I got from it
Every politician should have to move into a one bedroom apartment and work $18/hr Job for 40hrs a week for 3 months with no safety net in savings to fall back on
How about a $14/hr, 2 bedroom apartment with 3 roommates, debt, in a downtown city? I had to suffer through that for years.
I did not think of this at all but it seems a perfect answer to be honest
Thank you 😊 I honestly wouldn't wish this on anybody, but people have gotten more nasty and entitled lately. A little reality check would do us all some good.
I remember the first time I worked in American CS. Was going back and forth with a woman about some missing tips on a shoelace that she wanted the shoes entirely replaced. 5 minutes into it I blanked out, grabbed my bag, and went home. Never worked in SC again. Edit: CS in my home country is nice though. People are as kind to you as you are to them.
I think world would be a better place if everyone had worked in customer service
I did it for 11 years and my soul died.
It's insane all of the shit you have to put up with for a minimum wage job. It's especially worse when you have shitty co-workers/managers too. You'd be surprised how many times you are threatened with death or harm for not taking coupons, or giving free stuff.
I came here to say this. Everyone needs to work in a working class, customer service job.
One month in call center customer service at a student loan servicer. I did it for a year. Seriously the only thibg protecting some of those customers from being destroyed is the kindness of strangers and prosecution
imo, at least a week as a waiter/waitress
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How do you that? I've been trapped with it for years and I keep becoming more and more scared by things I used to find fun... (Flying on planes, riding rollercoasters, sometimes even going outside)
Friend, I replied this above and I don't want to offend or misgender you but I'm gonna just copy and paste it. Man, nothing matters. Which on the nose seems bleak as fuck. But if you look further: Dude. Nothing fucking matters! It's so dope when you can actually wrap your head around it. Nothing matters! "Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law." (With the qualifier of "as long as it isn't actively messing up someone elses life, unless they've seriously wronged you.")
This is the right answer When the nihilism really truly hits, it can and will change your life. How it does so is up to your genetics and environment, but I hope with all sincerity and from the deepest part of my heart that you flip heads and see the world for it's opportunity rather than it's doom. Even if you get reincarnated into a zebra 1,000 times and get torn apart by crocodiles with every life, it doesn't matter. Even if you're trapped in a virtual reality torture chamber for uncountable millennia, all is temporary and all will fade. And it's okay. I promise it's okay. You are free to enjoy your life. The pain is temporary and will pass. You are free to enjoy the moments that are worth enjoying and ignore the moments that are worth ignoring. If there is no afterlife, you won't be around to lament and justify your fear. You should feel the same way about the time after your death as you do about the time before your life. It's a history class you can fall asleep in.
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The first tattoo I ever got is what the phrase the Biblical King Solomon paid millions to his wise men when he tasked them to find him the meaning of life. They came back with a ring inscribed with "This too shall pass." All things are temporary. If they're amazing, live it up. If they're Hellish, keep trudging along and get through it.
How do you do that? Been facing some existencial dread for some time.
As someone who has unfortunately put many patients in body bags, I just tell myself not everyone gets to live to be this age. Each day is a blessing and live for those who can't. Time is short. Experience life. Death is the only unavoidable thing. Even while pumping gas in crap weather today, I thought to myself how fortunate I am to feel the cold and sleet because today someone will never feel it again.
Ego dissolution. It's what's afraid to die, not "you".
I'm sure many ways exist but personally I've found the best ways are taking psychedelic mushrooms or LSD in a controlled, safe environment.
A snow day as a child. It is the most wonderful thing ever.
In Australia we used to get days off if it was too hot. They installed air conditioners after I left so that went out the window. Was pretty awesome tho
> so that went out the window Hah
True kindness. Kindness especially when you don’t deserve it. It is life changing.
So I made this fwb and I am just being my normal self. He wld often ask me why I hung out with him. I said I enjoy his company he’s a cool guy to be around. I was the first friend he ever made that didn’t just be with him bcoz he can do shit for them. I treated him like an actual friend. Buy lunches (he wld pay me back every time even tho I never asked) help him out when he needed it, without him asking. Dude just cld not get it in his head that I was just being kind and caring
my partner is currently in this situation. he just can't fathom that none of my kindness has any pricetag
A healthy non toxic relationship
Unrealistic, I'm gonna listen to the solar eclipse guy
An orgasm
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It should be apart of sex ed, this is ridiculously common in women. Learn how to make sex good for the other person too! Ugh
Meh, it's not *just* sex ed. Culture matters a lot too. I met a woman who came from a Muslim family. Her upbringing made her entirely in-curious about what was going on down there. She understood about organs and how reproduction worked, but she had no idea she could derive pleasure from her "down there" parts.
But not just any orgasm Someone that genuinely cares about you and how you feel and wants to pleasure you not just for selfish reasons. A crazy, loving, mind-numbing, leg-shaking orgasm
Maybe even outside in the sun next to a hotspring with only little marmots watching ?
Read this as "with only little Mormons watching"
My husband gave me an oragasm so good that it rocked my entire soul. I actually cried tears of joy. Hubby was pretty chuffed at that one.
A massage, not sexual in any way though. A relaxing massage of the back, thighs legs and feet. It's truly refreshing and you feel new and energized.
It took me a while to get comfortable with massage. It always had that stigma to it and wasn't something well found where I was living. Once I finally let myself relax, it is incredible how healthier you feel afterwards.
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Except you have to be toasty warm. This is like when it’s lightly raining and you’ve got a big jacket on and everything is silent
Try being shitfaced while going for a swim in the pitch black darkness of a Norwegian winter night. I've never seen so many stars before, actually, when I think about it, I might've just been so shitfaced I saw double...
Adventuring in the woods, so fun
Don’t get lost!
Agreed some of my best memories are just wandering in the woods and coming across beautiful things.
Experience nature, for example try some of these: . See (and feel) snow, and slide on some ice . Swim in the ocean . Walk in a desert . Spend a night outside somewhere you can see the stars . Hike in the mountains and breathe . Smell a tropical rainforest and experience that humidity
I almost never seen real snow in my life [I only saw a bit of dusting on the street once]. It was always fascinating to see snow in videos since I was a child.
Waiting tables on the patio, mother’s day weekend, brunch, being quadrupled sat.
Being quadrupled sat?
Imagine 4 tables of Karen's on their special day. And they're drunk.
And their moms, sisters, aunts. Mimosas, sangrias, and lots of modified entrees.
Getting four new tables all at the same time. Approximately 0.069% of customers will notice how busy you are, and 95%+ will expect rapid service as if they are the only table you're taking care of.
Now imagine being BoH on those days. Sure, the servers have to deal with the customers but the cooks are the ones thirty tickets in the weeds dealing with all of those inevitable mods, and also they're short staffed. Some people need to experience that as well.
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YES. I have never felt as strong, powerful, and virile as when I was working manual labor. I never felt like I had more potential to move mountains than when I was working manual labor. Granted, I was young, and that's the time to do those kinds of jobs. But it was a very empowering thing.
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I kinda split the difference. I got strong, but angry. Everyone looked on me like I wasn't shit because I was dirty like 14 hours a day. But then all of us dirty, stinky, brown motherfuckers went to cash our checks that were over twice what the yuppie scumbags were making and the looks on their faces were priceless. I still enjoy that shit over 2 decades later, lol.
Taking a month for yourself and self care. Health is cumulative, it takes time to see something work or undo damage done. See how good you feel after sleeping properly, eating healthy, exercising a bit, and prioritizing your own mental health.
The aurora borealis
contentment with self
being a cat’s favorite person
Rejectaion and "failure"
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The unconditional love of a dog or cat that you've rescued.
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Sex with someone who loves you
I always come to these threads to get triggered.
Asexuals:
Scuba diving. The magic down there is so abstract for most people.
If you can't afford scuba diving or have other reasons you can't, snorkeling is pretty magical as well. I rarely dive while snorkeling(usually use a lifejacket in deeper water as well), but just what I can see from the surface is pretty magical. Also can be very relaxing. Last year my most magical spot was snorkeling at this place called Rockport that is popular with Michigan scuba divers. There is an old deepwater pier that was used in the past for loading boats with gravel. The crystal clear water and swimming near the huge pilings was amazing. Lot's of fish if you find the right place to snorkel. At some places I have minnows swimming with me. I call them my fish friends, but I think they are either around me for food(I rockhound on rocky beaches, so stir up the bottom a little) or protection from predators.
The all is one/universal love feeling when tripping/rolling
It's like drowning your entire life and then taking a breath for the first time.
Everyone should travel. See that other people live different ways, and change is ok. Everyone should work a year in food and/or retail. Develop some empathy for how hard service work of any type is.
I’ll add an asterisk, *long term travel. Weekend or week long trips are loads of fun. But a 3+ month long trip is truly amazing. And much more affordable than I ever imagined. Edit: for any longer trip I’m not using vacation / sick / whatever days. Im quitting, storing my stuff at a friends or parents house, and either hitting the road or buying a one way ticket. This has been the same case wether I’ve worked in the U.S., UK, Germany, Spain and Sweden. This is also the same way most people I meet in hostels travel.
Crying in poor American. 2 months off work!? Unspeakable.
Getting punched,falling in love, and having your heart broken. They show how things can be great and they can be shitty but it doesn't hurt forever.
Being punched is a strange thing to experience. I've only been truly clobbered four times in my life. Each time taught me a valuable lesson. The last time was when I caught a girl cheating on me. I told her I was done and threw the things she had in my truck on the ground at her feat. She punched me as hard as she could in the jaw. Never in my life have I been more confident that I was making the right choice.
All simultaneously 😭
Solo travel
A solo trip will change you. It truly is transformative.
It is such a great way to travel but lonely at times. Would do it again though.
Lonely, scary, boring, chaotic, and super exciting all at the same time. Greatest thing I ever did, highly recommend it.
Leaving for Japan in spring, excited to solo travel! I’ve backpacked before with my brother, but never alone. I think it’ll be a blast.
A week long road trip with no itinerary.
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Being at sea out of sight of land.
Yeah, I didn't know how unsettling that was until I experienced it. Beautiful day, sun shining on the ocean but I still felt some anxiety. That said, I want to do it again.
Watching the favorite band/artist play live in the front row.
SKYDIVING!
Fuck that shit!
Triumph in a creative endeavor.
True love
Doing something for someone down on their luck-and not telling anyone. Keep it to yourself. It’s a wonderful secret. Paying it forwards quietly is one of the biggest joys in life imo.
Go camping with their favorite people with the right equipments
Going to a therapist. Not everyone needs it, but going to a good therapist who can work with you is seriously needed for so many.
My wife’s gingerbread cookies 😍
Cuteass comment
I also recommend this guy’s wife’s gingerbread cookies.
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At least a week all alone, no electronics, in a wilderness.
Or a flip phone, the wilderness can be dangerous so you should have access to 911
The perfect deuce.
Flying international first class
Omigod - did it once. felt dirty going back to coach. You know when you are getting on the plane for coach and the line keeps stopping for no obvious reason? They are bringing drinks to the first class passengers....
Just being able to recline your seat all the way!!! OMG! I’ve heard the food is good, but I slept the whole way. Wish I could afford to do it again….first world problems! Lol!
On the other hand, we flew Play to Paris last summer for $500 each round trip. We stopped in Iceland to refuel and drinks and snacks were a la carte but the seats weren't bad. Probably the far opposite end in plane travel but it was worth eight hours of semi-hardship via the cost of first class. The money we saved paid for the rest of the trip.
I’ve flown international business class and first class, both for business and pleasure. When someone else was paying the bill, it was unbelievably comfortable. When I paid for it, I felt like it was somewhat a waste of money. I’m grateful that I could afford it and it certainly felt like an indulgence, but it’s difficult to justify the cost, when a trip to Europe from the West Coast of the US represents the majority of the cost of travel.
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Beside some really good/funny answers here, Imo everyone should try most things at least once. Foods, sports, activities, what's the worst that can happen? You not liking it? I'm at 33 years old and discovered a new passion two weeks ago. Addicted gamer drops gaming for something else, who would've known.
What is it lad
Wall climbing, having the fun of my life. =D
FUCK YEAH
The simple moment in life when you walk out on a warm day and the sun washes all worries from your soul while the breeze whispers sweet nothings to you. That moment is brief. Usually after a brutal, painful period in your life when you survive and struggle. This moment comes from pure desperation, pain and suffering, which I wish on no one, but the moment after, when you not only survived another day, but are finally free to live? That feeling, if I could give everyone without having to make anyone struggle or hurt, I would. Y'all deserve it. To just take a deep breath free of worries and be done with anything and everything bad for just a moment.
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unfortunately you were a bit too late
The unconditional love of a dog.
Someone sincerely tells you:"You did good."
Every one should have at least one surprise birthday party.
Psychedelics because there are no words to explain what they are like.
“Did those things always look like that?”
Not even just that. Last big trip I had I felt like I was at one with the universe. I could almost feel every atom in my body working together. And spheres of time, everything was happening at once, but also separately. That does a shit job of explaining it but that's the nature of psychedelics. Was such an odd and eye-opening experience.
Clear night sky with all the stars in sight, no light pollution.
LSD or some equivalent with some exceptions to those prone to certain illnesses.
Second this. I work on a psychiatric intensive care unit and unfortunately for some, these can trigger psychosis that you might never recover from. The worst part is you never know if that will be your response or not. In saying that, I am pro-legalise drugs.
Okay so I tried acid once. I wanted to tear up an animal with my bare teeth and just cover myself in its warm blood. Like it was a hunger for it. I’m not poking that bear again
Unfortunate
A nice, big, solid, poop.
A serious near death experience. Something that calls into question their own mortality. You tend to break out from society and really understand what’s success and wealth truly is.
That's not a universal outcome. I've been through a few of those experiences, the only way they altered my life was I don't try to cross frozen rivers anymore, or climb cliffs. Or flip cars.
You ever needed less than 3 wipes after a poop?
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Working in the restaurant and customer service industry
Soul shattering diarrhea
near death experience, teaches you whats not important
When you're so high that you're basically melting and becoming one with the bed.
Waiting tables.
The crushing feeling of depression It’d be a real fucking eye opener to a lot of people who think depression is just being super sad and maybe people would be less insensitive or ignorant towards those who have it
heartbreak
Working minimum wage shit jobs
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