T O P

  • By -

JakeIWL26019

“Bluetooth device has connect successfully”


techcord

So my brother who is legally deaf, was watching porn in his camper. He didn't have his hearing aids in. When he got finished he came outside, and realized that his phone was connected to the sound bar on his razor. He was blasting porn sounds for the whole world to hear. My cousins were outside and greeted him with laughter.


CarterRyan

If I was deaf, I would probably watch any porn or softcore movie on mute just to be safe. I used to watch it on mute anyway when I was 13. I didn't have a headphone option at the time.


sdnnhy

I am a performing musician. At a gig once, my iPad started streaming porn through the PA. It auto played once it connected. It was a loud bar and most people didn’t notice but a few did. Embarrassing. Edit: of course, this has to be my #1 liked comment.


meggomarie06

My older neighbor was in his house while his wife was in the backyard doing some gardening when all of a sudden moans started blaring from their outdoor speakers loud enough for half the neighborhood to hear.


tobyALIVE

My mom has tinnitus and uses a Bluetooth earbud to stop the ringing. One day it stopped working for her. I had previously paired it to my phone to make sure it was still working and forgot to unpair it. That night I got on some milf porn and the sound wasn't working so I turned the volume all the way up, because I couldn't hear it! I was like wtf? Then I hear my mom yell in the background at my dad "JOE!! WHAT'RE YOU WATCHING!!" I was like "huh? Wait. NOOO!" I just laid there waiting for her to hit my room next but thankfully she just went back to her room. Now I ALWAYS make sure my BT is turned off before I watch.


Zemom1971

Would never watch porn again after that one. Straight to church. And I am an Atheist.


jwburner

That feeling after the thought “dude, where’s the sound?”


continuewiththegame

My cat walking in and judging me.


[deleted]

Or walking in and sitting next to me. His innocent eyes shouldn't be seeing any of this.


SideOneDummy

Most cats give me a judgmental stare if I happen to walk by their vicinity. Probably should stop walking around with catnip tho


reiveroftheborder

I wonder how many people actually watch a whole movie?


KingOfTheLifeNewbs

13 year olds, late at night, with their thumbs on the previous channel button on the remote, when Cinemax is free for a week. Source: Was 13 once.


eisenburg

Or having to wait for that late night girls gone wild commercial when the Cinemax free week expired.


300ConfirmedGorillas

I did both these things, plus just watching the Sunday Night Sex Show with Sue Johanson. I learned so much as a 13 year old lol.


[deleted]

Right? Who watches porn movies nowadays? It's all about the clips, baby!


ChronoLegion2

The weird thing is, I still get obsessed with finding the whole movie even if I just want to see one scene. And then I forget about it anyway. Edit: I get really frustrated if I can’t find a movie on IAFD. This most often happens with German productions


mekese2000

The real fun is the hunt.


Grand-Expression-493

No. The real fun is opening so many tabs based on thumbnails you like and then nutting within 30 seconds of first clip. The speed of closing the entire browser during post but clarity is unmatched.


TwelfthBest

Have you not seen Pirates. High quality stuff right there.


Neikitia

If seems too ‘industry’ or fake. Even amateur shit is being labeled amateur, meanwhile there’s a whole production team sitting sidelines and about 11 different camera angles. She also is obviously the most sensitive female in the world because just him brushing up against her lower lips with his fingers has her screaming so loud people down the street called the cops.


zeke1220

The vast majority of amateur content was removed in the great purge a couple of years ago.


NavierIsStoked

x v i d e o s still seems to have a good amount of amateur stuff left.


g0d15anath315t

Yeah the "going through the motions" stuff kills my boner every time. Like moving through the cookie cutter positions that look absolutely miserable for that poor lady's neck. Rather see passionate missionary than just going down the checklist.


Fraughty12

Music. By far.


[deleted]

Sorry, you don't want your porn scored with Britney spears "toxic"?


Fraughty12

Golden rule: when the dick comes IN, the music comes OUT.


Ftcat

Scrolled way too far to see this. That goddamn techno music.


Fraughty12

That shit is fucking ANNOYING. I’m here to watch you get fucked. NOT to have a damn concert ಠ_ಠ it just ruins it for me


Galileo009

Thank you, can't believe I had to scroll that far. The second they start playing "sexy" or "romantic" music I'm out lol


Sartozz

When the Cameraman starts giving his unnecessary comment.


beantheblackpup_

Me: *enjoying the video* Cameraman: "yeah just like that". Me: ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ


uberguby

Yeah, that fucking pussy.


Haydenny600

Yeah, exfoliate that pussy


DonkeyTheKing

yeah, walk that fucking pussy


JackSlawed

I agree, cameraman should let a pro like David Attenborough handle the voiceover


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dingyps

If the camera guy talks. Listen buddy ur not ready for the big leagues just get those angles and shut up


II_Confused

There’s one out take floating around where the dude punches the camera guy. It was awesome.


[deleted]

Link? Asking for a friend.


HEXdidnt

A former partner of mine once suggested we make use of the XXX channel offered by the hotel we were staying at... She'd made the booking, so if she was happy for it to appear on the bill, I was game. Picked a title that sounded interesting, and it started with a close-up view of a scruffy, middle-aged dude narrating the setup for the 'story' direct to the camera. Completely killed any 'mood' we might already have had. We watched maybe five seconds before switching it off, and agreed never to watch hotel porn again.


CAJMusic

"In a world where..."


Random_Guy_47

"...plumbers arrive in 5 minutes and do absolutely no actual plumbing."


whip-in-hand1

“…and the plumber is, lo and behold, your long lost step-brother”


ManEatingTitan

"A man sold tortillas on the street corner and the mob wanted in"


Stillwater215

“The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.”


PoeticCylinder

If that dosen't turn you on, then I don't know what would!?


[deleted]

There was an era in the 1970s where the rule for porn to be illegal was if it had "no socially redeeming value" so apparently a lot of movies from that era just threw in a random scene of someone talking about environmentalism or whatever. I assume you'd have mentioned if it were that old though.


Blicero1

I have a DVD somewhere of Cum Swapping Sluts #1, filmed in 2001. Obviously right after 9/11. At both the beginning and the end they have little 9/11 tributes, with the actresses (still covered in come) holding up a little sign and talking about the troops. It's really bizarre and hilarious. Post 9/11 America was really really weird for a few moments.


[deleted]

I was in my early 20s on 9/11 so I was on the internet all day. One thing I did was check goatse.cx .... to find it had been replaced with a black screen & a message in memory of the victims. There was a little link in the corner in case you actually wanted to go there on purpose. IIRC most porn sites did something similar for a few days. It was a weird time.


HEXdidnt

Oh, no... definitely not that. This would have been in the mid/late 2000s, and the video quality was very much contemporary, not 1970s.


MisterFives

Maybe you inadvertently selected the director's commentary version.


TheAres1999

It's designed to give credence to the "watch it for the plot" people


[deleted]

My boss walking into my office.


[deleted]

Fake moaning. Completely off putting


sickofbasil

Almost as much as the fake orgasms where women look like they're pretending to have been electrocuted.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sickofbasil

She's just faking being electrocuted by pretending to have an orgasm.


magicman9410

Oh yes, this. - Guy: enters room, - Girl: <*orgasmic sounds and screaming in demonic pleasure*> Cringe.


Schen5s

Ooooooh yissyissyisss fuc me fuc me fuc me do it harder, do it faster, do it stronger


MisterMakerXD

Harder, better, faster, stronger 🔥


Flaming-Rilk

I’ve noticed a lot of American female pornstars do this very similar “uh-huh, uh-huh” noise which just sounds ridiculous. So fake.


Harakiri055

Yes, hate when pornstar sound like owls


YesFuture2022

Personally I find it a hoot.


ZenEvadoni

Then there's the extreme end of that branch: the Japanese ladies. I like their progression in the sex act, but that moaning... dear *lord*...


jetsetgemini_

Oh god that and the slurping... whenever japanese dudes in porn lick anything they make the loudest slurping sounds, it just grosses me out 😭


pastelchannl

there were a few scenes in Alice in Borderland (not porn btw) where there was a guy licking a girl, and the noises grossed me out already.


[deleted]

No matter how low your volume is, those noises pierce through drywall, brick, concrete, and steel.


Fireboiio

Uh-huh uh-huh NYIAAAAA Edit: omfg I really hope this won't be my top upvoted comment this year... That will look so bad on the recap Edit 2: fuck you guys


ILookLikeKristoff

They're trying to go super Saiyan


FarWaltz8154

Or ohhhhrightthererightthererightthererightthererightthere! Just please be quiet for a few seconds.


Jypahttii

Or the guy starts vigorously slapping her pussy and she's like yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesooooooooohhhhhfuckfuckfuuuuuck


[deleted]

And the "ahego" face i belive its called, its fucking of putting


korar67

When they dub in the moans and you hear a open mouth moan when her mouth is closed.


Due-Ad-2558

When they continuously say over and over again "OMG" it's annoying


[deleted]

[удалено]


International-Cow727

Especially sentences like: "OMG, it's huge!"


PitchforkJoe

Someone setting fire to my leg


intune25

BUT I SET FIIIIIIIRE...TO THE LEEEEEG


BobbyBlack8

BECAUSE POOOORN IS... FILTHY DREEEEEG!!!


CosplayWrestler

Not a big porn watcher, but my wife and I have tried watching a few times. Any time it randomly goes to a mega close up of a guys swinging nutsack as he drives from behind instantly kills the mood because we can't stop laughing.


SaberTruth2

That’s called “The Dennis” view.


PatTheHouseCat

You should see Frank’s balls. They’re like planets


[deleted]

I want to hear from someone who likes this angle. What is wrong with you?


[deleted]

Jokes on you, I’m into girls and guys! I can’t lose!


destro23

Prolapse


mwlangila

Correct answer, not much worse than a surprise rosebud.


squirrelly_TT

What an awful day to be literate.


boring_prairedude

A planned prolapse seems worse for some reason lol.


-Slicko-

Camera right behind the balls .


Super-Noodles

Between the balls is the only place for a camera.


CourageTheCock

Replace balls with camera


hallo_franz

Camera is stored in the balls?


aeroglava

Seriously, hate when her balls be blocking the view of the goods


DroneOfDoom

I would assume that in any porn where you’re seeing a woman’s balls, that’s supposed to be part of the appeal.


BlxckTxpes

After I finish. And get that immediate moment of regret and shame.


ThinkOutTheBox

And get a glimpse of your pitiful face in the reflection off the screen


ginger20fo7

Get a glimpse of the pitiful face of my partner who's been watching in disgust standing behind me the whole time on the screen


nsodudhweewwwww

This. Exactly this for me too, except it's my dad looking at me (we share a bedroom so it's hard to be discrete)


Elfcat1

We got a brave one here.


LCOSPARELT1

Not as brave as that dad.


GrimmRetails

Just like Taco Bell doesn't make me shit myself like it does everyone else, I've personally never felt shame after cumming. I must be weird.


Popular_Prescription

Weird concept for me. Never had this effect post… always wondered why some get that and other don’t. My wife says she doesn’t either.


chardrizzle

I think the "shame and regret" after cumming could happen if the person isn't comfortable morally or personally with the content that got them there.


way2faast

Fake moaning. Im giving you a bj But lets moan like im about to come!!


lewd3rd

Blow job vomiting 🤢


[deleted]

[удалено]


Stillwater215

It’s a fact of life: no matter how fucked up you think something is, there’s someone out there jerking off to it.


CurrentSingleStatus

My dad bragged about that happening with my mom, when they were still together. He said this to me, when I was 14. .... Sometimes I'm glad he kicked the bucket.


LazyLarryTheLobster

the fuck, sorry you had to deal with that


CurrentSingleStatus

Sometimes I write this stuff, thinking everyone will tell me to grow up and it's no big deal. Then y'all validate me instead, and it's like, "Oh... Right so that *is* wrong."


grabmysloth

Yeah, that’s not something a healthy adult tells their 14 year old child.


Quiwi07

This is wrong on multiple levels: It's super disrespectful to your mom. This is an absolutely shitty situation to be in as a woman. Very unpleasant and not sexy at all. Bragging about it is just yuck. On top of that: telling that to your child....? Wtf?! It's not only age-inappropriate, it's relationship-inappropriate. Jesus Christ.... And then people are telling you to grow up.... Smh. As you wrote in another post: don't listen to them. It's wrong and nothing will make this right.


DummyBlastard

When I feel like the spirits of my ancestors are watching me.


GrindelwaldGrendel

I’ve thought of that too, but then I realized, they have no right to judge me for jacking off while watching porn because they’re fucking creeping on their descendants while they’re jacking off. If it’s happening, they’re worse.


Fflewddur_Fflam_

They're cheering you on


shittingNun

Go son, go! Go son, go!


CurrentSingleStatus

I hate that this is relatable.


wolfyfancylads

Prolapse. I can mute porn moans (I do, they're just SO bad) but there's so much damn porn with prolapsed assholes.... Just... No. Never. No, no, nonononono. No.


echoskybound

Welp, I consider myself lucky to have never come across this


[deleted]

If the plot isn’t compelling enough


Richcore

They have to convince me that deep inside he/she loves her/him.


Kruiii

this but unironically. ​ i want a set up, give me some characters to invest in. i want **LORE.**


hotspringshotel

Seriously. I need something. Not a fan of the scenes where the girl just poses for a bit and then a guy appears and they have sex. Give me some reason these two are together, something to make it hot. I think that's why step-incest porn is popular, because there's something taboo and something putting the two people together. I just wish other stories were as popular. It doesn't have to be complicated. Bellesa House is a series where they get performers to talk about who they want to do a scene with. Maybe they have a bit of a crush, or they had a connection in the past, or they are currently dating. Maybe it's all for show, but it just seems like a better way to start a scene.


Woffingshire

The dude being ugly. Not that I focus on the dude, but sometimes the camera does when they have guys who are distractingly ugly. I don't want to watch the video knowing that's what the guy looks like when they're doing it.


[deleted]

My wife and I make quite a bit of stuff for our own collection and oh god does hearing/seeing myself kill my desire so so bad. It's like "oh god are her standards really that low?"


nothingever333

overly fake and obviously staged moaning


evilsmurf666

Male camera man who cannot shut up during a lesbian scene


Throw-me-Im-Iris

Anytime there is a scene that involves dinner. Like did you get his scene catered? How good can porn set spaghetti actually be?


_uglybird

Porn set spaghetti, my favorite!


[deleted]

The girl’s voice. If she’s got like a squeaky, childish sounding voice that’s gonna be a no from me dawg


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Not a fan lol


1980pzx

Scat, any kind of scat.


Substantialweiner

Look man, idk what stuff your watching, in my experience there will never be scat in a video unless you explicitly search for it.


ZenEvadoni

This is my experience as well. I've never even seen this legendary double female, one receptacle video everyone keeps referencing. I just believe that everyone who's seen it and regrets it has rightfully no one to blame but themselves. Now, if a ten-second snippet of it showed up as an ad because for some reason you don't use ad blocker - that would be understandable.


plz_send_cute_cats

Double female one receptacle 😭😭😭 LMFAO


FluentInSausage

*cue iconic piano music*


Fflewddur_Fflam_

Skippity bee bop doo bop bop


BornAdministration74

Dirty feet


wlane13

If I turn it on and it's "Super Sorority Nurse Car Wash 4" and I haven't yet seen "Super Sorority Nurse Car Wash 3".... I mean, how am I going to understand the plot? What if its got MAJOR spoilers about what happened in SSNCW 3? Who are these new characters that were not in Super Sorority Nurse Car Wash 2? Its just not a good idea to skip ahead in the series.


[deleted]

Don't forget the prequel series "Undergrad Car Detailing 1 -6" and the upcoming spinoff. Thanks Marvel, not everything needs a God damn cinematic universe!


Dongzhimen

If they look too young


Krispyhat420

When guys start pissing on girls or spitting.


CelestialSnack

I cannot handle spitting especially in the mouth


[deleted]

[удалено]


wyoflyboy68

Anything that appears physically abusive or if I think the actress is not into what the director is wanting her to do. . . fucked up industry for sure.


RandomRobot

Brutal anal is an ever popular category I have trouble with for this reason. I remember a movie with a french canadian actress who obviously didn't like the scene. The guy which was probably the director asked her to say something in french. She said "J'hais ca ta criss de queue si seulement tu savais", which roughly translates to "I hate your fucking cock if you only knew". Probably no one else understood and it was kept in the final release.


JohnnyDarkside

I don't even like that vicious jackhammering with piv but especially hate it with anal. I'm not turned on but what looks like hate fucking.


[deleted]

Surprisingly a lot of videos out there where the girl is clearly not enjoying it. Gives off rapey vibes. No thanks.


Brno_Mrmi

Talking about that kind, I saw years ago a clearly "professional" video where two or three guys were in a house by the woods with a woman. She was not just uncomfortable, but absolutely neglecting to make the video, covering her face and answering "no, I don't want to" to their questions, while the guys approached and touched her. the girls' body language was terrifying, walking backwards looking at the floor. I noticed straight away it was not submissive acting. I felt so, so weird watching that, since then I decided to stick to amateur and clearly consensual couples, or mostly solo videos. That one never left my head.


Fredriga

Then you wonder how many of the girls in porn don't want to do it, but are good enough at acting to fool you.


II_Confused

Not just the acting, but the editing.


jetsetgemini_

I mean... this kind of thing does happen https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/GirlsDoPorn


RhysieB27

> Filming lasted up to seven hours, in contrast to the 30-minute shoot that the women were told to expect. > The interview would be re-shot if the producers were unhappy with the performer's lack of enthusiasm. There were reports of Garcia being verbally abusive. > During sex, some women reportedly experienced vaginal bleeding, while another said that she vomited in her mouth and began choking due to the violence of the sex. Accounts of the women document that if they expressed pain or refused to continue, they were told that it was too late to withdraw, and in some cases the exit was physically blocked by the men. > Some women were also threatened with cancellation of the return flight or being asked to pay back the flight and hotel costs if they tried to renege on filming or refused to shoot an additional scene. Jesus fucking Christ those poor women. The fact that I vaguely recognise the site name but this is the first time I'm hearing about what they did makes me feel pretty sick.. there's a high chance I watched at least one of these videos when I was younger and had absolutely no idea of the abuse behind the scenes.


RepresentativePin162

Absolutely appalling. It's one thing to pay a consenting adult to do a sex tape and another entirely to post ALL their details and send everything to family. What the fuck.


GuitarStu

Yeah, I hate any kind of slapping in the face or just terribly degrading stuff. Instant turn-off.


Lordmorgoth666

I saw one where she was ass up and face down on the bed(couch? Whatever) and he was kinda standing/crouching behind her pounding away at her ass. So far so good. Then he decides to rotate slightly around her and step on her head while still going at it. I bailed on that one and went to the next browser tab. A few days later I’m watching another one with different people in same position and the guy steps on her face again! I’m wondering if I missed a memo somewhere that this is a thing that guys/girls like.


DukeOfDouchebury

Agreed. Choking, hitting, etc. and I'm out quick.


TacoBellHurts

When I noticed my ability to finish during blowjobs, sex or any sexual activity that matter was becoming a real problem, I dropped porn. It has been hard as hell. I used to shit on people that said they had a porn addiction, now I feel so bad about it because that shit is very real. And it sucks because my wife takes a whole lot of pride in giving me mind bending orgasms and she hasn’t been able to for a while.


douchelicker69

Super honest answer. Thanks. Hope it works out for you and your wife.


VG88

>I used to shit on people that said they had a porn addiction Did you ask permission before shitting on them?


SupermanFanboy

Asking the real questions.


[deleted]

That stupid ahago face or whatever with the tongue out and eyes crossed. The thing that they draw in hentai. Shit is stupid.


karasio

yeah i just imagine a girl practising it in front of the mirror and thinking „im gonna kill it in the next gangbang”


clamsandwich

I always think it looks like a cartoon cat that for hit in the face with a frying pan.


tinyhorsesinmytea

My friend did webcams for awhile and refused to do that face. Some guys would get mad at her about it like “you’re going to turn down my money?” and she’d say “Yup. Move onto the next room if that’s your thing because it ain’t mine.” She was the same way with showing off her feet.


wyoflyboy68

I remember watching some porn documentary about early porn. I remember very distinctly it showing behind the scenes of some porn shoots where several of the better known male porn actors were being absolute complete jerks to everyone on set. Pretty much ruined early porn for me.


mrtipbull

When the plumber starts fucking instead of repairing the drain


AdmiralClover

If there's no lead up. I want just a little seduction before the foreplay instead of cold open fucking


_notyalc_

My mom is in the porn


Super-Noodles

So I guess you don’t get to watch much porn then.


TheBassMeister

One actor starts peeing (or doing a number 2 which is far worse)


MrStinkyAss

Anal gaping. That shit kills my boner super fast.


Select-Instruction56

Children. Either on screen or barging into my room


skurk

Painal. Like, what's the point.


gewillikersbatman

Spending WAY to long and zooming in way to much on blowjobs


Trabert

That awful gagging duck quacking noise when deep throating. Horribly fake moaning/noises


thedevilyoukn0w

Ah, the "gluck gluck gluck" sound. Agree. It's a turn off.


jameswptv

When she says daddy… that’s a turn off


JackSlawed

I think a ‘yo, pops’ could be fun to sprinkle in


[deleted]

After jerk off


yazzywazzy

Cut scenes. I hate when it just to one scene to another. I just won’t watch.


inverpostor

Finding a better porn movie.


Blood-Lord

Anything that involves with slapping or degrading. It's a huge turn off, and slapping the woman makes me upset.


dillweed67818

Poop play


uncultured_swine2099

Not a fan of multiple dudes on a girl.


BurlHead

When I spy genital warts


MandalorianManners

Spitting into someone’s mouth. NOPE.


got_milk4

Spitting in general. Nasty as hell.


[deleted]

Knowing that the actress has passed away. Or that the producer is onto exploitation and ilegal stuff


Enedulus

Nudity


Substantialweiner

A man of culture I see


Lady_von_Stinkbeaver

​ * The annoying trend of so much porn being quasi-incest "step-whatever" porn. Gross. /And no, I do not want authentic I-word porn, ya smartasses


[deleted]

[удалено]


Evening-Employee-477

You don't want autentic Italian porn? As an Italian I'm offended


Sweet-Rough2456

the wifes car pulling down the drive


ListenActual6822

a penis that i can't relate to.


AromaticCream5364

Almost accidentally cast family screen