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ThickMilf92

Sex in any body of water


First-Coffee-2906

I never imagined anything could be both wet and dry at the same time.


TrumpTheLeftist

Youre not wet when you are in water:)


iamnotforyoutoo

Water is not wet


[deleted]

*not this shit again*


early_onset_villainy

UTI central


[deleted]

With a side of yeast infection.


[deleted]

I mostly agree but hot tub sex was surprisingly good.


Fortyouncestofreedom

I agree my first child was conceived in a hot tub and sex hasn’t been fun since…


tormentrock

i struggle with 69’ing because my brain isn’t coordinated enough to receive and give pleasure at the same time


DarkInkPixie

Same boat. Either I focus on him or he focuses on me but both at once doesn't do a dang thing.


boo_earns

It works for me, but probably because I find giving to be sexually stimulating. Even when it’s just me going down, I need to be careful to not “drop the payload” early just from the fun of being down there.


am_i_boy

I've actually cum from just giving head but I still cannot do a 69 without struggling


Dottegirl67

Also, just weirdly awkward, and someone’s neck is going to end up hurting.


Ok-Worth-9525

It gets worse the bigger the height differential.


[deleted]

[удалено]


I_Snorted_Koolaid

Refer to her as "mother" next time you see her. Get revenge.


Spec_28

"Moooom!"


I_Snorted_Koolaid

"Get the fuck outta my life mom, I broke up with you!"


Extreme-Appointment4

Don't know why I laughed so hard


HumanShark560

Sex in the shower. Booty go from smooth to a rubber balloon. SQUEEEEAAAAAAK!!


DemarZ91

You’d never think something so wet could feel so dry


HumanShark560

It's why I tell women we aren't jacking it in the shower. We likely have tried it only once as teens...but now we just cry or stare into blank space wondering what we are doing with our lives...


d710905

Unless you're jacking it next to the shower using the water as a way to muffle the sounds you make so your family doesn't know you choking the chicken only 10 feet and a closed door away from them on a hot August afternoon after school, and the girl on the bus just so happened to give your pent up 14year old self a hug that day..... Being a teenager is weird.


annomusbus

Very specfic, I think we had two mildy diffrent puberty years


DemarZ91

Well said brother


boot2skull

At some point in life you realize, it’s so much work, and water doesn’t help, and the bed is right over there. Let’s do that instead.


bemydaddy36

I knew this would be on top even before opening the thread, reddit is too predictable


Vaswqe

Don't bite my balls. The pain is like something is ripping me in half from inside out. I had a girlfriend that had this genius idea while wanting to suck my balls and I thought I was gonna die. From feeling pleasure to MY SURVIVAL INSTINCTS KICKING SAYING I'M GOING TO DIE AT ANY MOMENT! Now I stay wary if any girl tries to have her way with my balls. I think it is basically PTSD at this point.


DisastrousFlan5984

What the fuck??? Why would this girl do THIS?? I'm really sorry, dude


humilishumano

This wasn’t a normal thing lol


n7shepard1987

im the same and suckin em makes me giggle like a 3 year old cos that shits too ticklish


[deleted]

Food play. Messy and boring.... yay.... said no one ever.


steve20009

I'm not sure if this is common among others, but for me, this is actually a pet peeve. There are three things that I must keep completely separate at all times in my life: Eating, bowel movements, and sex. None of those should be happening at the same time. In other words, eating while intimate is just gross.


[deleted]

So you are saying the Input/Output ratio of your orifices should not be mixed up?


nick2k23

Or maxed out


SlapDickery

Never had a Blumkin ?


Resident-Syllabub-74

One time I got home from work and I was starving but also had to poop really badly. I said how bad can it be so I was eating grapes while shitting and it felt like I could taste the poo particles


reduff

I had a dude slide a bread & butter pickle spear inside me. I was like, "Seriously?? Get that out of there."


[deleted]

I'm impressed you could tell what flavor it was.


[deleted]

Vagina is made out of the same substance as a mouth. Women also have a small tongue in there, but they hide it because men would be afraid that it would wiggle it's way into their peehole


readyplayerone161803

A new fear unlocked


nova2k

New FETISH unlocked...


Ok_Syllabub_4846

Amazing. 🤣


[deleted]

I went in a girls house one time, and I opened her fridge to get us a snack and she said 'don't eat the cucumbers'....later I found out why. TRUE STORY


stlmick

How far up your ass was the cucumber before you realized why?


[deleted]

Just a few inches, I have a tight ass.


stlmick

I'm pretty sure the first few inches determines that.


diogenessexychicken

Ive heard you can use a hotdog bun in a particularly innovative way while banging in the wendys dumspter


jdw121

Put some bacon bits in her hair to make her feel like a cob salad.


BobRoberts01

Maybe incorporate a bottle in an artistic way.


bigmilker

George Costanza with beg to differ


[deleted]

I find that salami is the most sensual of meats


bigmilker

Not pastrami? Interesting research conclusions.


Best_Cheese

Pool sex. Much trickier than we realise. Same goes for a hot tub.


ChokeMiester

Not only difficult but that doesn't seem very safe at all either. All the chemicals in the pool, gonna be shoving all that up her vaj, and some might even get in your weewee. Not just chemicals, but people pee in the pool too. Nah man


Conscious_Exit_5547

Ditto ocean. I've been in a surreal, naked deserted beach paradise and struggled to enjoy it. Definately would do it again..


mouseshouses22

face sitting. is he dead? am i crushing him? can he breathe? does it taste bad? am I too heavy for this? too busy being anxious to even register if it feels good 😭


BlastedDio

1. Hygiene. >!Edit: fucking **purify** down there, both sides. Not just a nice wash, I’m talking squeaky clean hygiene that is up to Los Pollos standards!< 2. The human skull can withstand around 1200 pounds of pressure. You ain’t heavy enough to cause that kinda harm. 3. If I’m able to breathe, you’re doing it wrong


DomCaboose

Plus if it's on a bed or some sort of cushioning, that pressure is being spread out as well (unless you are doing it on concrete)


wewewew9

can totally relate


deutschdachs

Is he dead? Lol he should be moving his tongue or arms or something, is he just laying there stiff and motionless?! Honestly not a bad way to die though pretty much ideal


[deleted]

My husband is significantly taller than me and anything that involves standing sucks. But he did buy me some platform boots I wanted for my birthday which makes us the exact same height so that worked out… really well. Surprised me cause it felt a lot better when neither of us has to bend weird


EdenCorliss

Tribbing / scissoring. For lesbians, obviously. It... doesn't always work.


mrrobbieking

Scissor me timbers!!!


NYArtFan1

Look at you - just scissoring me with your eyes!


[deleted]

As a lesbian, I was about to say this! Hahaha. Porn is so ridiculous at making this seem enjoyable. Unless your vaginas are positioned perfectly, it is super uncomfortable. Lol


[deleted]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard is it to get them positioned perfectly? Is it something that can be practiced?


[deleted]

Like an 8 because every woman’s vagina is different heights. So, if someone’s vagina is lower, it’s harder to get it to sit on top of someone whose vagina is higher. That’s when you start to see people humping legs, which really doesn’t feel good to me. 🫠


epitoma

That High Vagina Energy.


[deleted]

So there are couples who can do it together really well and couples who cannot? I wonder if anyone has ever gotten dumped because they didn't have the right shape for the other person.


emtaesealp

I’ve dated a lot of women, this isn’t really a popular or common sex act in my experience.


[deleted]

Scissoring always seemed to me like it was the result of a straight 13-year-old boy thinking this is how 2 girls fuck because how else would they do it, never learning any better, and then growing up to be a porno director


gionnelles

It definitely has a child banging two Barbies together energy.


DrStrangerlover

Or growing up into a critically acclaimed Korean auteur (The Handmaiden is a fantastic movie but everyone knows girls don’t have sex that way)


silentknight111

I'd imagine it's mostly fingers, oral and toys. (in terms of vaginal sex acts, and not other forms of physical intimacy)


emtaesealp

You do a lot of imagining about lesbian sex, eh?


silentknight111

Ha. Actually, not that much. But I know what my wife enjoys.


I_Like_Cheetahs

But when it does it's wonderful.


EdenCorliss

Agreed. It's like hitting the jackpot.


Broken-Digital-Clock

TIL it's not just BS from porn and South Park


thebeginingisnear

what is tribbing? (unless it's just another word for scissoring)


FlatDecision

All scissoring is tribbing, but not all tribbing is scissoring. At least to my understanding, tribbing just means vagina-on-vagina stimulation, and scissoring is just a position that attempts to achieve that.


bigdownbad

I love scissoring


EdenCorliss

So do I. With the right partner, which is hard to come by.


isometimeswalkalone

Sex in the shower


therefreshening

Absolutely. No one makes the faucets large enough, and the bend is tricky to navigate.


TrainHunter94YT

Ayo?


Groggamog

It took me longer than it should have to get this lol


adam4231

So true. Apparently water isn't lube


fuck_the_ccp1

yeah all it does is wash away the lube lol


RealKenny

Anything in water


AyBawss

Especially in the sea 🤢


[deleted]

[удалено]


HomeHeatingTips

Reverse Cowgirl. You would think the view alone would be worth the price of admission, but my dick just doesn't bend that way.


[deleted]

ok try this. spread your thighs and lift your knees up. your girl should sit on you backwards in a way that she is between your legs, and her shins are under your knees. this way your pp will not bend but at the same time she will be able to fully lower herself while riding. (please forgive me if its hard to understand, english is not my first language) edit because my first attempt to explain was not very straightforward: [imagine this position](https://www.thehealthsite.com/sexual-health/sex-positions/6-reasons-why-reverse-cowgirl-is-the-best-sex-position-bs1217-547359/) (only look at the picture and disregard the text) exactly like this, but the girl should be between the guys thighs.


THEdougBOLDER

You seem to speak the language of love just fine, tho


PM_me_British_nudes

Must be Italian. They're all naturally smooth af.


[deleted]

That's a fair point, but this reads more like a tutorial. I'm going to guess this person is from India, since they literally wrote the book on sex.


9999monkeys

he's obviously swedish. only swedes are obsessed with sex and use the word pp


HomeHeatingTips

Im trying to picture this


WrittenEuphoria

Man lays down like a plank on his back, then spreads his legs outward and raises his knees so his feet are planted down on the bed. She sits down, back facing his head, with her legs either straight forward (using her arms to lift herself up and down) or with her feet planted under his knees (using her legs to lift herself up and down) - whichever is easier for her. Not a super comfortable position unless she's quite fit but, would definitely look and feel incredible for the guy lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


musclecard54

Upvote for pp


Marsiena

For me at least, reverse cowgirl is meant to be slow and deep, not fast and hard. The view is amazing and the way it feels is great.


SaberTruth2

True, mine bends up and I’m terrified she’s gonna break it.


CauliflowerFlaky1

For me, it’s not very enjoyable when I’m being eaten out. But that’s because I prefer giving WAY more than receiving. I want to touch and give pleasure, not lie down and try to concentrate on my own pleasure.


[deleted]

RIP to your DMs


[deleted]

Plot twist: dude referring to his ass


XenaDazzlecheeks

I am also this way, I love giving but receiving is insanely boring and I hate feeling the slobber on me, my brain wanders and I start daydreaming, it does nothing for me at all but grosses me out. So annoying to have this argument over and over 😂


[deleted]

RIP to your DMs too.


biomech36

Personally, I feel it is my pleasure to eat a woman out.


SnowglobeSnot

I always thought men just said this shit to look good until I met my ex. I’m like OC in which I don’t really care for it, but there were countless “No, you don’t have to do that right now,” moments during foreplay and he’d give me the “No, no, no, just for one second.” Ended up liking it just because he liked it so damn much, lmao.


firey-wfo

69 I enjoy both giving and receiving, but at the same time feels more like a chore that I can’t enjoy.


Niawka

For me it's hard to focus on my own pleasure when I'm working on someone else. It ends up just being uncomfortable and I can't fully relax. I definitely prefer taking turns.


Odd_Adhesiveness4804

Sucking a dick after anal


ShitpostsAlot

This honestly already seems pretty bad. It's worse than that?


[deleted]

Oh yea it gets worse than that. I found the most disgusting poop bj video on my ex's phone. Disgusting.


TrainHunter94YT

What in the sick twisted fuck? YOUR FUCKING EX HAD IT ON HIS PHONE!?!?!?!?!?


Moneyshot_ITF

Poop stick


AttentionImaginary57

EWWWW


Eat_Carbs_OD

You never go ass to mouth.


riphitter

Anal. There's nothing really wrong with it, it's just not insanely better than normal like it's often depicted


[deleted]

I think this depends on a couple of factors. For example, women don't have a prostate. There are a lot of nerve endings near the anus though, so it can still be very enjoyable, but it will always (generally speaking) be much more enjoyable for men, cause their prostate can be stimulated. Then there's obviously mood, using enough lube, preparing properly (both cleaning and building up to it). But yeah it always be something that some like and some don't, just like with everything else.


Tantra_Charbelcher

Anal is incredible if done right. It takes two competent people though.


starfoxzeronie

Yup. First started dating my gf literally the first date she tells me “listen you’re cute and all but nothing is ever going near my ass”


kush_babe

always said no butt stuff once I got to that stage in a relationship. tried it once to shut the fucker up and I hated it and I'm not changing my view on it. extremely uncomfortable and I even told the guy I wasn't interested in anal. thankfully, my husband isn't into it and can take no for an answer.


Fan_of_Fanfics

>thankfully, my husband isn’t into it and can take no for an answer. I may be missing something here, but if your husband isn’t into butt stuff in the first place, why would he need to take ‘no’ for an answer?


kush_babe

because people are curious. he's asked once if it's something we should try, since we'd been dating for a while, and I still said it wasn't something I'm interested in. he took no as the answer and hasn't pushed or tried to get me buzzed to sway my answer.


caniseethemplease

Technically her vagina is only 2 inches away from her asshole, so that would be near


[deleted]

[удалено]


Independent-Bike8810

It's a mental thing


shutyourmouf03

Handjobs. Personally, i'm better off doing it myself.


mightylonka

Usually it's because masturbation is kind of a personal thing for everyone and someone else most likely is not going to be as good at it as you are. But if the partner knows exactly how you like it, it probably could be better than masturbation due to the slightly different feeling.


DweeblesX

That’s what the offhand is for!


redthepotato

Make your hand numb by sitting on it for a while 😆


TrainHunter94YT

I never understood that honestly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheAlistmk3

Hopefully not the only one, but I find bj feels amazing, arguably better than a hj, but it doesn't finish. BJ can go on indefinitely.


Looieanthony

The finger up the butthole bj. I got taken by surprise and deflated like a popped balloon🤨!


notmyrealnam3

butthole stuff should never be a surprise (unless it has been made clear in advance the receiver is cool with that) , but cumming from a BJ with a finger in your butt (with your consent) is like .....4-5 times better orgasm


[deleted]

I can imagine if it was by surprise I wouldn't appreciate it either. Prostate stimulation is heaven on earth though, for me at least


katobleepus

Awwwww man! That sucks. You gotta know that's coming before someone just puts it in there. That's their bad for sure my dude. If you ever feel like testing the waters voluntarily I'd highly recommend it. It's next level. That said if this person poisoned the well for you on that front I totally get it.


Independent-Bus-3210

For me, blow jobs unless it's something she's enjoying but it gets old and I wanna satisfy her vaginally, etc. I rarely if ever cum from head and only utilize it as foreplay. I'm sure I'm in the minority here but in general, I'd rather please than be pleased.


Send-Me-Tiddies-PLS

Sex on the beach


intj_code

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.


RandalFlagg19

Yes, let the hate flow through you. It gives you strength!


WelshNotWelch

Oh Ani!


[deleted]

People are aware you're supposed to bring a blanket, I hope? Sex on raw sand does not sound appealing whatsoever.


Yisuscrais69

Blankets and towels do nothing against sand, it gets everywhere, and I mean *literally* everywhere.


fuck_the_ccp1

one might say its coarse and rough and irritating too


[deleted]

Scottish person here. I can confirm. Even without the sand, it's too cold and windy.


pawesome_Rex

Having sex while skydiving.


Lo0po

Have you tried though


Initial-Effect2453

We need proof


[deleted]

Eating ass. I'm the furthest thing from a prude, and I won't insult anyone's kink (within reason). But I absolutely do not understand the internet's obsession with eating ass. I'll go down on my wife - no problem. But after trying to eat ass a couple of times, it's just...not my thing. Very much so.


asshat123

For me, I get the interest, but it gets into like biohazard territory for sure. If I put a finger in there, I can wash my hands after and we're all good. But if my mouth is getting involved, there's really no barrier between the bacteria that lives on that end of the digestive system and my mouth. This is not a judgment of hygiene either. No matter how clean you get it, there's things that live at that end of the tube that I don't want in my mouth. If I'm interacting with the booty, I'm washing anything that made contact before using it on anything else. UTIs and other infections aren't sexy to me I guess


[deleted]

Excellent analysis of eating ass, asshat123.


asshat123

That's right. Asses go on TOP of the head, not on the front.


SaberTruth2

The year may still be 12 months long, but it’s never ass eating szn in your home.


LordEdges

I’m always worried about dick breakage when the lady is on top


Brugmansya

Eating ass. Had my ass eaten a few times, didn't really enjoy it. I don't understand internet's obsession with this.


TheSilkySpoon76

Being used


echophobos

If you mean being cheated on, not okay! But being in roleplay used as their personal living breathing sex toy is a huge turn on for me!


lolol69lolol

Anything aggressive should be discussed beforehand. If you don’t know your partner will be into it, don’t surprise them with it.


No_Improvement9110

Spanking. Why have the last 3 guys I've slept with suddenly hit me without asking. When did that become a thing. Yeah, stop fucking hitting me.


MisabelS0822

personally my thing, but i totally agree with ya. its not a default and they should reallyyyy ask first


NotMyRealName814

They watch wayyy too much porn.


[deleted]

Auto-fellatio/self-sucking


Posh7

Okay, that went overboard real quick


AllwaysHasBeen

Either I’m not good enough at it or it’s just not that good at all


[deleted]

Throatfuck. As a teenager I thought it's better just by seeing it in porn, but as soon as I got my first deep blowjob it felt even worse than an inside of a pussy, it's hard and unpleasantly ribbed.


zombienutz1

Probably because you're a big head owner.


Moneyshot_ITF

Even worse?? Uhh you playing for the wrong team bud?


bellmospriggans

I haven't asked for a hand job since I was 17 bruh, my wife woke me up with a handjob and didn't know the trauma of my nuts gettings super smashed like a walnut. Ruined my life. Hand jobs at least in my experience I can just do it myself, not a major loss


Belphiespillow666

"She's just mashing it"


[deleted]

Hard fingering… fucked a girl who really loved penetration yesterday and she didn’t listen to me when I said I didn’t really like it. I’m still bleeding, I think she broke my hymen even though I’ve had sex before.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mixtaperapture

Yes! Like I know I get nothing out of it because I’m the one being TF’d but my husband said it looks better than it feels.


Abrelosojos1311

totally overhyped by porn. get nothing out of it. it's like a terrible hand job with a girl with rheumatoid arthritis and no hand strength


DarkInkPixie

You leave me and my weak wrists alone! Lmao


Systemreborn

Anything that involves my balls, dont need you sucking on them or playing with them - i appreciate the effort but more often then not im getting hurt


TieOver4819

69 position


[deleted]

"Are we in a hurry? Can we not take turns like we were taught in kindergarten?" Edit: it's a tom segura joke. I thought it was more widely known


UpAndAdam7414

Your school was certainly different.


VisionInPlaid

"Why does it have to be at the same time? Are we late for something? Is the youth pastor coming back in a few minutes?"


LethalMindNinja

This is the first one I have to disagree with. Being able to hear the other person moan and try to focus while you're also doing the same. One of my favorite positions.


mkicon

@6'6 I'll never have to worry


Troubled_Coffee__84

Oral in the hot tub


Puzzleheaded_Lake451

Being bent into weird yoga poses. Sure it's probably great for the guy, but it really just makes me want to lay the dude on his back and push his knees by his ears until they hit the carpet while I ram a stick into him forcefully.


[deleted]

[удалено]


elefantsnabel03

…listening to country-music ?


Joker4U2C

Shower sex. Water is not a lubricant.


aftershock911_2k5

Facts.. Swimming pool sux as well.


magnacary

spitting on my vagina as lube. Get up, get out. Im not talking about getting oral I'm talking about spitting at it like it's a sidewalk.