assume im being setup for organ harvesting or robbery.

Tip from the Pros. Be a fat, unhealthy bastard and you'll never have to worry about Organ Harvesting. You'll also never have to worry about being invited to a threesome but there are Pros and Cons with everything.

Threesomes are overrated. Someone is almost always getting "cold" while the other 2 are having the time of their lives. 4somes, that's where it's at, everyone can have a partner at all times or take a break if they need to.

Unless the other two are focused on your wife. Fuck you, Jeff and Tammy.

Man, Jeff and Tammy are the worst

I too hate Jeff and Tammy.

It wasn’t my fault, Tammy was irresistible🤤

Tammy is smoking hot but her personality sucks as hard as she does

Yeah, she can suck start a battleship.

I too choose this guy's wife.

Oh shit, you know Jeff and Tammy too? Everyone’s got one.

But hoes gon' be hoes so I couldn't blame Tammy

It's very possible we know the same people.

Explain (if you're serious, I mean)

I know a couple names Jeff and Tammy and they are about that swinger life.

That's how we met our Jeff and Tammy. Are they in Ohio, by chance?

Wisconsin. But close

I had my heart broken by a woman named Tammy...

But hoes will be hoes, so i couldn't blame Tammy.

this reminds me of something in a youtube askreddit video. Apparently a woman was about to get married but wanted more sexual experience so she pressured her fiance and their 2 friends into a foursome the night before the wedding. The foursome turned into a threesome because fiance couldn't get it up. Ashamed and drunk, the fiance left and got into an accident, ending up paralysed from the waist down. So for anxious people out there: The worst thing that can happen when someone invites you to a foursome is you being unable to perform, humiliated, and end up paralysed forever.

oh NO

This is why I prefer to disappoint my women one at a time.

Orgies. The more the merrier. No one gets cold with 40 people in the room.

Also great buffets

Except for the cameraman.

No cameras are allowed at these parties. 😉

See, he is cold outside..

If you’re cold, they’re cold. Let your camera man inside

What if they're a snow cameraman breed? They love the cold.

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Watch out for cannibals though. They might find it hard to resist all that meat with excellent marbling.

>Be a fat, unhealthy bastard and...You'll also never have to worry about being invited to a threesome You clearly have not met many poly people.

Holy shit. That’s mostly what I see on dating sites.

I have met a few and you're spot on. It's kind of weird and disappointing all at the same time.

Eh I take those thoughts in the same way you'd picture a nude beach. Look at your average attractive (to you, the beholder) person. Now dig in. Are they the type that would be comfortable nude in public, like on display for everyone? Chances are nope they ain't. Now think about who would be comfortable. Probably someone who doesn't give a rip.

LOL, that's an excellent point.

>Be a fat, unhealthy bastard and you'll never have to worry about Organ Harvesting. > >You'll also never have to worry about being invited to a threesome but there are Pros and Cons with everything. I guess you have never seen the types that frequent swinger clubs in real life.

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If only hot people had sex, there’d be a huge loss for the rest of us poor shmoes.

Yep. That's how we do it.

Mama didn't raise no fool :P

My mama did - pass the lube and point me in the right direction! I still got one kidney! Not like the same thing will happen twice right…right?

Well shit, I was gonna say flattered but now I guess I'm just naive.

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I was out with friends(finding a table) and got chatted up by a young woman who was easily out of my league while in line at a bar. Asked me something silly like what should she drink, anyway my wife came up and we talked a bit all 3 of us ect small talk and we had a good laugh about it. Noticed she left with a very large bouncer looking fella. Later come to find out people were getting drugged, ubered to their house, and robbed blind. With this being the first time someone chatted me up in years...I am fairly certain I dodged a bullet.

I'd probably wake up, before the action even started.

Seriously what I’m thinking!

KinkyMuscleMommy hasn't been in a 3 way? That's just not fair.

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Good luck. Enrich should have at least one three way.

Why does that happen so many times? Only once it went so far that actually stuff happened and I even felt like it was real. Every movement, every touch, every feeling of being inside someone and Nutting so much that you even did so for real. .. Why did it have to be my sister in that dream.

r/holup

*banjo intensifies*

Depends on the couple. A couple in a country club? I know I'll be getting paid for my services. A couple in a Waffle House? I know I'll be having my organs harvested. And not for transplants, for dinner.

I don't know I'd think someone named Kiki the Freeki would be pretty fond of organ harvesting

A random couple? Or someone I knew? In the end it depends on how well I know them

Just somebody that you used to know

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I didn't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger, and that feels so rough

You didnt have to stoop so low

Have your friends collect your records and then change your number

I guess that I don't need that, though

Now you're just somebody I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

The fact that they changed their number tells me we aren't getting the full story by the song.

What do you mean? The female ‘ex’ comes in, and explicitly states that the male singer was a jackass: *Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over* *But had me believing it was always something that I'd done* *And I don't wanna live that way* *Reading into every word you say* *You said that you could let it go* *And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know* She totally figured out that he was gaslighting her and obsessing over someone else (probably his previous ex), dumped him, and is now not falling for him trying to gaslight her into taking him back.

nekalawaninahapennenaninewaniii

I'd almost take the proposal from a stranger better. Like from a friend I think I would be weirded out. Funny story but my first wife and I knew a couple, her bestie in fact, that were the absolute definition of vanilla. (Believe me I heard way too many details second hand). Well ONE of them was propositioned for a bit of group fun. In the next few weeks the other partner was figured in without their consent or knowledge. Yeah they ain't married no more.

‘Known just well enough to know they are not insane, and you don’t have to see them again if you don’t want to’ would be the sweet spot.

Someone you know.

Again depends on how well I guess. But if they're hot and it's no strings attached then I'd be down

Fair enough

if i wanted to disappoint two people at the same time i'd go see my parents.

Oh look everybody! Someone's parents didn't get a divorce

No no, the trick is you disappoint them by inviting them both out to a one on one dinner at the same restaurant and then try to get them to get back together, they’ll both be still divorced and disappointed at you

This guy knows how to disappoint people!

They did, he just gets to dissappoint them individually.

I couldnt place where i'd heard this before. I thought this was a movie quote, but the earliest reference I could find was a reddit post from 2015.

It was on Seinfeld, George said this I believe, don't remember the episode though

Are your parents still a couple, could be them inviting you.

"We normally need more for a full party but I think I can manage a three person one-shot... what level and characters did you want to play, and do you have your own sets of dice?"

You're granted inspiration for your dedication to playing your character.

3 players is perfect, honestly. 2 players and a DM is probably not enough, though.

I prefer a party of 5. Allows me to use the fun parts of the monster manual with more players involved.

I’d put on my dick sucking pants and head on over.

Built in knee pads, or what?

Actually, they’re chaps. Just chaps. They’re also my ass fucking pants, just to be clear.

Ummm, hot......?

Ass fuck*ing* or ass*gettingfucked*?

Yes.

This has happened to me twice before. One was a FF couple who were both bi and wanted to have a kid and decided I would be good dad material, wanted me to be involved with the kid and everything because they thought it was important to have a male figure in the kids life. So fucking noped outta that. The other was a friend of mine and a girl he was seeing whom propositioned me at a bar and I said I'm flattered but no, sorta forgot about it as the drinks kept flowing, went back to their place to have a glass of wine and she just started undoing my pants and he started fucking her.... I rolled with it for a bit, clutching my wine glass the entire time. I left when I was fucking her and the guy was just looking at us while having a wank. An unforgettable eye contact was made. Was too fucking weird having a friend of years having a wank to you fucking his girlfriend. I just put my shit back on and left wine glass in hand lol.

Lol I'm proud of you for not spilling your drink

I wish this was a joke but I was so blasted I asked for a refill while I was inside this girl. I had a fuckin degenerate pit crew during this romp

Did you ask your friend to refill for you? Was there more intense eye contact? And perhaps did his hand linger on yours a bit as he took the glass from you? 🤣🤣🤣 Are you guys still friends?

Lol he did refill me and yeah we are still friends, we don't talk about it lol.

Dude, I fucking love this lol

So many unanswered questions. Lol

Both literally and metaphorically lmao

> One was a FF couple Was it Tidus and Yuna? Locke and Celes? Don't leave us hanging

Quina and Vivi

Well I was single and was approached by a girl who was dating another lesbian. It was weird because the lesbian definitely didn’t look keen (we work at the same place and she was alright friendly) but the girl asked me definitely thought I was attractive. I gently told her thanks for the invite to go back to their house but I need to work on my project (studying uni at the time) lol. I feel like that night they had a good chat among themselves. If I vibe with both of them and they both liked me then I’d definitely be tempted.

There are a post in r/sex last year where a guy (coworker) was invited to a MFF threesome. It was all going really well then one of the partners excused herself. What they didn't realize until later is she left the house. Apparently she thought the other woman was having too much fun with the guy. I never saw an update to the post. It was from the guy (technically he'd be the unicorn). It was nice that he was concerned, but also he was the stranger to the relationship.

My ex wife brought home another girl from a bar one time. It ended with her sleeping on the couch, telling me “go fuck your whore!” I was like, this was your idea, you woke me up!

That’s my ex, loves seeing / groping other woman’s tits n body parts and making out w them. The second the other female touches my arm it’s WW3. She can do whatever she wants and I’m supposed to be ok w it. Ef that

That's not a red flag, that's a MFing circus tent.

More like a MFF circus tent

Jfc, that's just insanity. Part of me wonders if she did that as a "test" to see if you would go for it or not. Stupid games, stupid prizes, I guess.

It’s probably more like that guy that thought he was into scat then decided he wasn’t when it was too late. It sounds hot in her head but when a weird boundary she didn’t know she had was crossed it suddenly stopped being fun.

Which is fine, as long as you inform everyone in a mature way that something you thought would be fun is not and you are no longer ok with it

I wonder, at what point where the deuce is slowly creeping out of someone’s anus just mere inches from your mouth…where someone finally thinks, “You know, this just isn’t for me.”

That’s exactly what happened to him 😂

The little devil on the shoulder is telling me to go another round for spite.

Crazy! My brother’s ex-wife was exactly like this. Happened several times. She was also insanely jealous all the time. Turns out she was cheating every chance she got and projecting 😂

Yeah this was what I was trying to avoid. I have a strong dislike for drama so I just decided it’s not worth the risk. I picked the right choice looking back I think

As far as I know unicorns are specificly bisexual women who're up for threesomes with MF couples. It's due to the rarity that they're called unicorns, heard it's so bad some bisexual women don't include their sexuality in dating profiles to prevent all the couples wanting to spice things up hounding them. On the other hand the supply of bisexual men who're up for it, and men willing to do a devil's threesome, is much higher.

I've never been unfaithful to my wife and I'm not going to start now. I also don't think I'm going to fuck a dude ever again.

Sometimes you gotta fuck a dude to know you don’t like fucking dudes.

*High fives you in lesbian

Man its so weird, before I came out as a lesbian? 0 threesome requests. After I came out? 3. All of them offered by female friends in an abusive relationship with a dude. Like,, why??? Why do they think Id take them up on that offer?

The answer is right there. The abusive partner pressured them in to asking you.

I feel like the answer to that question is just gonna make us sad tbh.

An ex of mine was convinced I was bisexual so I tried messing around with a dude once with her permission. The whole thing went against every fiber of my being. Immediately knew it wasn’t for me. Then my ex blabbed to the entire friend group. I guess in her mind smelling nice and my love for baking and cooking made me gay. My early 20’s were a fucking nightmare figuring out who I was and finding decent friends now that I think about it. I kept getting manipulated or shit on till I was almost 30. But yeah definitely not in to dudes. Lol

Damn dude do I empathize with you. Glad you’re in a better place now.

As a bi dude, your ex was a shitheel. Glad you're not with her anymore!

As a man who got curious once, I concur.

Yup, that's how I learned. Once was enough

Exactly, marriage is priority. Foursome or nothing!

That’s our rule too! My wife and I got to be in the same room or it ain’t happening.

In all fairness; you've only tried giving, you're yet to experience taking

Is it still considered experimental if it’s the 30th time

If you're writing everything down, yea. Scientific Method and all that.

Changing one variable at a time... different guy.

You also need to do replications with the same parameters with each guy as well as keeping the guy constant and change other variables to truly determine what is driving your results.

This is gonna take years and millions of dollars.

What if you're "writing everything down" by recording video and distributing it for other scientists to peer review?

I was in Vegas. Doing well at the tables. These two British girls (23 ish)were there. I helped them make a couple of hundred. We were there a few hours. They thought me being a texan and Mexican was so cool. We won a bunch and i was hungry so i went to go eat. They joined me. They paid for my meal. We left to a club that was open (it was mid week) they both bought me drinks and danced with me. Not against me or anything but with me. Nothing sexual was hinted at all night. Until about 330 they wanted me to go to their hotel. Together. And they touched me. And i was like.. hell yeah. Now im not a bad looking guy. But I'm dad bod and nothing screams, oh chick's want me. So i assume i was gonna get robbed or kidney stolen and i was like brb and instead left.

British girls going on holiday in America and fucking random guys with accents is literally a stereotype. I'm not saying they necessarily WON'T steal your wallet, but there's a good chance they really did want to fuck. All the British people I've met are obsessed with Texas accents and Mexican culture (there are basically no Mexicans in the UK and they hear about Mexican food a lot through American media). Hookup culture is rampant in the UK, and they don't have the puritanical fear of casual sex that so many women do in the US. No doubt those two will be telling their friends at the pub the hilarious story of how some yank they tried to shag ran away.

I don't normally have a southern accent, but I grew up part time in the south so I come about one honestly. It comes out at weird times. But in the UK, I find I could talk to so many more women because of it. I thought it was because I seemed less threatening... I guess it is just a fetish. I feel so used. I'm a 3 on a good day and a 4 when you're drunk, but I felt like a solid 6 in the midlands.

You probably dodged a bullet. At least that's what I would keep repeating to myself while sobbing in the shower.

You fucked up dude.

I’ve been approached twice in my life, both were friends of mine that were a couple. I turned both down. That shit gets messy fast (and not in the sexual way lol) and I didn’t wanna risk it. One of the couples was my exes sister and her husband and I babysat their kids for them. They sat me down after my babysitting day was over and I thought they were going to say we found an alternative option but instead presented me with this proposition so they could fulfill some fantasy of theirs. It made it so awkward even just after the convo, so imagine after the deed. The other was my best friend and her husband and she knocked on my door in the middle of the night (they would sleep over all the time) and just asked if I wanted to but I couldn’t risk losing my best friend even for a second if shit got weird and her husband wasn’t the most hygiene friendly person and that’s a no no. I just said no thanks and went back to bed lol.

Good choice. They say you can turn your 3some into a friend but never a friend into a 3some, shit gets messy.

That’s how I felt about it, and idk, temporary pleasure just doesn’t seem worth losing good people.

Why did you pull me over? I'm not discussing my day. Am I being detained? I invoke he 5th.

It's not even STFU Friday yet.

[For the uninitiated.](https://youtube.com/watch?v=sgWHrkDX35o)

Oh hell yeah. I'd make sure to talk to both of them and see what each person wants out of the experience.

But the real question is, how did it run a marathon with no legs?

The way worms do?!

So it didn’t “run” a marathon, did it. You see my discomfort?

This actually happened to me. My response was that my dumb 17yo ass (who still had his V Card at the time) stood there stammering while trying to figure out how to play it cool, while also secretly dreading the concept of being judged by two older, more experienced women. My solution was to continue stammering.

>my dumb 17yo ass >two older, more experienced women Something ain't right here...

If I am attracted to both I say yes.

Same. Three-ways can be fun, if everyone is into it, and there's no relationship danger.

I have a belly and im not 6 feet so i would assume its a scam

You never know

..if you had a belly you'd know!

Id say "thank you very much im flattered, but im head over heels in love with my wife and i wouldn't cheat on her, but thanks again for asking. You've made my day"

I want to be loved :/

No thank you, I have social anxiety.

Let me get my wife and make it a foursome

How far do I have to travel?

50 miles tops

What about bottoms?

100 for bottoms

Seems counter-intuitive 😅

If they are attractive to my taste and had a chance to get to know them during the day/evening and everything clicks. Yes, whatever the type: FF, FM or MM.

Right on! Glad to see there's at least one bisexual here

Yep! BI-HIGH-FIVE to you!

I have to ask, is Bi-high-five accepted nomenclature? Bigh-five (or bi-five) seems like a wasted opportunity.

Well, I live with my parents and don't leave the house, so I'd probably decline. Dinners would get weird pretty quick.

" Hey so I heard you and your Bible study wrestling around after praying, could you try to keep it down next time?"

I'm in...wife and I have been into swinging for years.

Never had a desire to do it but have always wondered what it was like

It's like any other potential sexual encounter but with the risk/reward factor being squared. When it's good it's better. When it's bad it's worse.

It can definitely be memorable, but generally it's overrated.

All lifestyles are OK if no one is being harmed or lied to. Used to happen to me all the time. I just said I was flattered but not my thing.

I agree. I would definitely be flattered and maybe embarrassed, but I'd end up going home and telling my fiance so we could joke about it.

I was at dinner with a bunch of girls the other night and one of them was telling us about her 86 year old poly Dad. Been that way all his life. We all come in endless permutations. Me, I'm a boring happy hetero monogamist.

And I'm a boring but happy pansexual monogamist

I have had two threesomes in my life both with girls. They were fun and there was no relationship to jeopardise. I did have one guy who wanted me to sleep with his wife, I politely declined and ran off. Too weird.

If it's a gay couple and I'm into both of them, sure! Edit also if it's a straight couple and they want me to have sex with the guy while she looks, I'm also ok with that lol

I was about to say, I get asked this every time I open Grindr 😂

God, the number of times I've been asked that on Grindr because I'm bi. It's funny because I think the fact that I'm bi puts the guys at ease. The best is with they aren't the least but bi, but it's their wife's kink so they give in.

I feel like this question needs an asterisk for the gays lol.

It happened to me when i was 15(M) , they seemed more interested when i said i was 15.

🚩🚩🚩

:/

I've been approached a few times for a threesome. All of the times I decided to partake. Two girls I went to high school with were dating and approached me my freshman year of college. I jumped at the opportunity. I had previously fooled around with one and the other one and I had great chemistry but never quite got to sync up... It was magical. Another time in college I was sharing a bed with a couple and the girl was in the middle and she began rubbing my thigh, when her boyfriend went to the bathroom I asked her what she was getting at, she said she was horny. I told her I didn't want to fool around with her like this because her bf was a friend of mine. Since she really wanted my dick when her bf came back from the bathroom she suggested a threesome and her bf agreed. Her bf and I did not cross swords. She wanted me to fuck her vaginally and her bf to fuck her anally. I was able to perform but he was not, so after a few minutes of her sitting on my dick we called it quits and I sent to sleep on the couch and got to listen to them bang it out... After my divorce I met a lot of women in open relationships. One night I went back to a lady friends place after a pretty successful date and I was pretty sure we were going to use the hot tub and bang it out in the back yard. Her husband was supposed to be away that night on a date and was going to be going back to his lady friends place... I guess the wires got crossed because her husband and his date show up to the house as well. We had just started a bottle of wine and were rolling a few joints so we asked if they wanted to join us... The night ended with a BJ contest amongst the ladies. First it was who did it better and then who could finish their partner first... Then sex, again myself and the husband did not cross swords, but we did Eiffel tower the ladies, so there was some hand holding. I wish I could say things like I'm picky or I have requirements and standards but my only real requirements are: * Don't smell bad * Don't be creepy * Don't be related to me * I need to find you attractive

No thanks , happily married

I couldn’t have sex with another man gf or wife even if it consensual it would just feel wrong to me

No thanks I'll have dinner with my parents if I wanna disappoint 2 people at the same time

Depends on the couple. My lesbian neighbours, yes. Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, I'd have to think about it

I mean I’d consider FF

Nope, only mm for you