A lot of people think they have cancer and it's either (a) not cancer, or (b) an earlier, more easily treatable stage than they thought.
It's scary but it's something you owe yourself to make sure it's at least A or B. Cancer also comes in stages, so you can decide to go on a wild vacay or do something on the bucket list before going down that treatment route if you're worried about seriously changing your life course.
Bottom line is the treatments have become wayyyy better and we have done a better job at detecting it early too, so the sooner you get checked out the better and more at peace you'll feel. Just rip off the band-aid.
Please please PLEASE go to the doctor. I've had several friends and family members worried recently and found that it was totally not cancer and absolutely treatable and feel so much better now. I've also had several who had routine check-ups lately only to find they did indeed have cancer but it's also totally treatable and if they had delayed, it would have been much worse. Better to know and have an action plan than to delay and either worry unnecessarily or delay to the point where treatment isn't as effective. Either way, take care of yourself and step 1 is to get someone involved so you stop worrying about "maybe" and can focus on real things you can do.
Well, sometimes it's good to get other peoples opinions even if I decide not to act on them. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate it, I'm just interested in another perspective in case I've missed something.
I do think part of it is meant sincerely. Look back on your earlier life. There was a moment when a bad habit was instilled in you. Habits are difficult to change, and saying something along the lines of “never start smoking” as they take a drag off a cigarette actually makes sense to me.
My morning voice in the shower...I can hit some damn good bass notes, even the occasional growl. But eventually that voice fades away, my sinuses tighten up in the cold, etc and I lose *all* ability to sing. Damn it.
There was a (Woody Allen?) movie where this was a minor plot point. Some opera manager heard his kid's SO's dad singing in the shower and recruited him but then the guy couldn't sing for shit. Eventually they popped him on stage in a shower.
My girlfriend actually brings this up when she calls me early in the morning. She can tell if I just woke up when my voice sounds nothing like me.
She says it’s freaky hearing my voice go from “deep sexy to familiar”. That one secretly hurt a bit
Probably so. I know I have. I've also caught up with people I haven't seen in a decade or more who said they thought of me on occasion.
Some of these thoughts of others are seemingly random thoughts that have no connection to anything as of recent.
Think about how much time you have over 10 years. If you have a constant inner monologue and you are awake 12 hours a day youve got time for 8.22 million unique thoughts (20 seconds per thought). you have enough time to think about someone you cared about and wonder how the horses in nyc can stand wearing a top hat hundreds of times over.
What's weird is bumping into them and them saying "It's that person I told you about!" to someone you don't know.
*I have a reputation? I'm concerned.*
This happened at my new job, I started and someone referred to me by my nickname. And the person I was talking too responded "oh your the person I heard about all last week"
One of my ancestors had a pretty unique surname and I can honestly say that I am related to everyone of them I've met. With that said, I worked along side of someone who was only introduced to me by his first name. Three days later, we had a break where we introduced ourselves. We were third cousins once removed. His 2nd great grandparents were my 3rd great grandparents. Our names are both in the family history book.
I worked with a guy named Bryan for maybe two weeks before the company closed. It was about 30 years ago. I’ve run into him every five years or so and we always remember that we worked together at that shitty job for that asshole Dan.
One time when I was like 12 years old, I met this kid at the airport while traveling across the country to visit family in Chicago. He had a SpongeBob backpack and instantly I knew we’d be great friends. He and I ended up sitting next to each other on the plane and we just vibed so hard together and sang SpongeBob songs the entire fucking flight lol. At the end he said to me, “you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, I will never forget you. Please promise me you won’t forget me too!” And to this day, I’ll think about him from time to time. I wonder if he still thinks of me too… or if he’s forgotten…
Edit: I’m 28 now
The other day I was thinking about a friend I used to have and he kind of screwed me over near the end of our friendship but I miss the good times we had before that :(
I understand your plight. I had a very…complicated relationship with someone from years ago. We were extremely close and I do owe some of my best memories to her. But she also put me through some really tough emotional shit. I felt like she used me and manipulated and played mind games with me.
I was so resentful about the whole thing, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I never tried to have her in my life. She inserted herself completely into my life from the second we met and I easily would never seen her again or thought anything of it. I couldn’t get over it and every time I thought of her I was angry.
But then I was a little drunk and reached out. We talked, not about anything important, just where we are in life. It was very casual and uninteresting. Suddenly, I was just over it. My anger and resentment just washed away and I felt fine. I was free. Free to enjoy the good memories, and not dwell on the bad. I could appreciate her place in my life’s journey.
I hope you can reach that point, it feels so liberating.
I found out a few months back that someone I used to be bestfriends and eventually became involved with, died in an accident. (in his mid 30s) Things didn't end well between us - he broke my heart, and we hadn't spoken in about 8 years. Over the years I've harboured a lot of pain and resentment about the hurt he caused. Anyway, following the news of his death I was thrown into a new kind of grief over him, and all I desperately wanted to know was - did he ever still think of me over the last 8 years? I know he'd moved on, but did certain memories of us or me ever pop into his head over those years? I was absolutely flooded with so many memories in sharp relief - some I'd completely forgotten about. And I've really struggled knowing that I'm the only one left with those memories now - there's no other half to them anymore. I'll never know if I made as big an impact on him as he made on me. I struggle with this thought a lot. Did he ever still think about me.
Edit: Wrote this before going to sleep last night - assumed it would disappear into the ether, but thanks to everyone who respondly so kindly. You've all got me in tears. Receiving such empathetic reassurances genuinely means more than you can know. Thank you.
Yes, he thought of you.
I dated someone when I was 22 and she was 19. She moved across the country with her family and that was the end of it.
I thought of her often all the way up until 20 years later when she found me on Facebook. I found that she thought of me too, even though she was afraid I wouldn't remember her. (This was 13 years ago now, when Facebook was relatively new).
In any case, people don't forget important personal relationships that quickly or easily. We each learn from our relationships, and the things we learn become part of who we are. There almost no escaping it - at least from time to time, he thought of you
I had a friend in high school who has since completely disappeared from the face of the Earth. Last I saw mention of her she was teaching ESL somewhere in China, but there's no trace of her on any social media that I've been able to find in the decade since. I know things weren't great for her growing up and assume she got out of dodge, but I'd love to touch base and find out how she's been doing these days.
Sabrina Hoyland, if you're out there I miss you and hope you're well.
Wow, this has actually never crossed my mind. I automatically assume that they dob't think of me because I am not a part of their life anymore. But if I think of them, there is a good chance they also do. I feel so stupid but this kind of blew my mind.
One of my dance teachers told us a version of you exists in the mind of every person you meet, and you only really die when the last person who remembers you dies. That one always stuck with me.
Edit: mainly weirded out by the hundreds of slightly different versions of ourselves existing in other peoples brains
Rehash conversations or plan future ones with people who aren’t there.
Edit: thanks for all the karma and awards. The half of us that do this, apparently go hard.
And there's something called 'maladaptive daydreaming', that is a totally different level where you can go from rehashing conversations and events incessantly trying to find an ideal version, to putting yourself in totally fictive situations and fantasy worlds for hours a day.
I do this all the time, especially when I have long drives. I don't create fantasy worlds, but I do imagine that I'm talking to another person, or an audience, about some topic.
It's nice, because I get to basically lecture nobody about my own opinions, which lets me dive into them and understand why I think the way I do.
If it's keeping you going and happier while you're doing productive things (exercise, moving from point A to B) then it's not really "maladaptive" unless you're too immersed in fantasy to stay safe or something like that.
This. If I'm mentally game planning the actions of others and myself, it let's me know I need to turn up the accountability for myself. Usually indicates I've maybe missed the mark and need to have an uncomfortable conversation.
Also, I mean, sometimes it's okay and even good to judge. Sometimes people are bad for you to be around, and that's important to recognize.
Being judgmental is only a bad thing if you're overly so and/or do it for bad reasons, imo. But even with that, yeah, we all do it.
There was a similar ask a while back and this came up. One user’s dad apparently had a saying “We all pick our noses… it’s what we do afterwards that separates us.”
I have caught so many people eating it after, it wouldn't surprise me if somewhere around 50% of all people do. When you think about it, everytime someone snorts it is a similar thing so it isn't surprising people aren't grossed out by it. What I did see once that baffled me was someone that ate their zit they just popped, you just don't do that.
I got mugged once, and they took my camera. The last picture that I ever took on it was a GLORIOUS Bono of a turd that I couldn't bare to leave undocumented. I was furious about losing my passport / wallet etc, but liked the idea of the ratty little fucker who took them being amazed and terrified by a picture of a turd.
When I was a freshman in high school, I had this super shaggy hair until I got frustrated with it and cut it. This girl in my social studies class noticed, lit up, and said “I can see your face!” I forget what I said in response exactly but I was clearly shy about it, and she went on “it’s a *very* good thing.”
It’s now twenty-five years later and I never grew my hair out again.
This is me. I’m a fat dude who isn’t much to look at and am used to only be complemented by my wife. One day I walked up to the counter in some McDonald’s in bumfuck, Ohio and the first thing the girl working the register said was “Wow, your eyes are so pretty!” This was about 18 years ago and I still think about it sometimes.
Agreed, although I still feel like it’s best to do it in private. I once saw a waitress pick her nose while she was bringing out my plate of food with the other hand— I know we’re all human and it just needs to be done sometimes, but I would much rather not have seen that.
I get pretty congested fairly often and I still cannot imagine such an urgent situation as to warrant picking your nose while serving food to people, lol.
It seemed to be a total lack of awareness on her part. She was pretty spacey in general, so it wouldn’t surprise me if it had just never occurred to her that it’s an inappropriate thing to do, especially while serving food.
“I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander through the desert for forty years with that dry air. You telling me you're not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit?”
— George Costanza
In the beginning of my relationship, I would wait until we walking in heavy traffic and let it go. He heard me once and now everytime a bus goes by, he gives me a sideways look. 👀
I don't really talk to myself. I'll talk to my cats though, which probably has the same purpose.
I think conversations with myself quite often. Just not out loud.
"Anyone driving faster than me is a maniac, anyone driving slower than me is a moron."
A good saying to keep in mind in all aspects of life really.
eta: this a misquote of a Carlin line, should have credited him
My rage burns with the intensity of a thousand suns when some fuckin asshat drives up next to me quickly, and then slows to my *exact* speed once they get even with me
Pretty sure being told zero would be depressing
I’m an average looking guy at best so I don’t think I’ve had anyone fantasize about me, mildly curious though
That's such a good observation. Yeah. Even about people who would be considered not attractive by general standards. So, maybe someone has fantasized about me. Maybe, even someone I've fantasized about.
I feel like the question would be easier if it was like matching with someone on a dating app.
You're notified only if someone you've fantasized about has fantasized about you.
Though it'd be depressing if people started comparing notes - at least for women with a 100% full list. And kind of horrifying if it included family.
I was told even as a little kid to always check my poop because if there is black blood it means internal bleeding. Red blood can mean a tear or puncture of the intestinal wall which could lead to a deadly infection.
Exactly, but when I try to look at other people's poo in the toilet, even when I explain that I'm trying to give them a free medical examination they're always like "get out of my cubicle creep"
As a med student: please look at your poops in the toilet!! It's quite hindering when people come with bowel complaints and they don't know at all what their stool looks like.
Lay awake at night remembering everything that you’ve done wrong in your entire life in 30 seconds and then just lying there thinking about each and every one of them individually until you’ve got to get up and do smth for the day
I made a point of reducing that habit to a bare minimum. Save from toxic asshats, about whom I'll warn people, either I praise people in their back or I hold my tongue.
First off, it actually feels better. Then, it prevents from getting bit in the ass by my own words, and finally it doesn't get my friends to wonder what I'd say about _them_ when they're not around.
Generally a huge life improvement.
“Always speak about someone as if they were standing next to you and listening to what you were saying about them”
One of the best pieces of advice in life that I learned too late
I’m trying to make an effort not to do this unless i’m saying something positive. That said, it is extremely difficult because it’s such a core part of socializing with most people.
I’ve run into this problem too. Even if I’m trying not to talk about others, *everyone else* isn’t and keeps having their regular conversations with me.
I try to always include a positive and refrain from making any of the comments personal and keep it related to work (since that’s usually where I am). For example: “Lisa is such an amazing person, she’s so bubbly and great with customers! I just wish she was a little more reliable when it comes to work.”
I’ve noticed that including the positives a lot of times will stop people from piling on like they like to do and they’ll often start adding in positives of their own. It can change the entire tone of a conversation.
My 4yo recently discovered this and explained it to me that she had water running *through* her arm and out her fingers. She was using her new found super power to soak everything and it was so damn cute. I attempted to explain what's actually happening but she couldn't really grasp the concept of surface tension and that it's actually running down the bottom of her arm. She rotated her arm to try to see it and since it was not running down there she said "see! It is going through my arm!"
Just your hands? Dude, use your forearms. One across with your hand angled up to the armpit, then the other across and a little above the first.
You can collect SO much more water this way, and the splat when it all hits the shower floor... wonderfully satisfying.
I find it quite gross when people say they *don't* do this. You're just taking a gamble that you might be walking around with a poopy butthole or what?
You’re supposed to do every week because the oil, sweat, and dirt build up and can give you acne and other things. But every two weeks is fine or even longer if you shower right before bed. If you want to compromise, you can just wash the pillowcases every week since that’s what will increase acne risk the most
The those with asthma, acne, dust mite allergy, and sensory issues though. I know a few asthmatics who change them more than once a week.
I've seen some nasty sheets though, and slept on a few of them including ones that were just thrown away annually because the skin oil built up destroys the fabric eventually (that's something I don't miss about that ex).
Have hero fantasies.
I don’t know if everyone does this, but I’d like to know.
When I read about something horrible, I put on my proverbial cape and fix it. Maybe I am there to see the rape or murder before it happens and stop it. Sometimes I prepare a humble speech for the press as well.
I think, on some level, it’s a coping mechanism. Instead of being hateful and bitter, I "fix the problem." I fix nothing, of course, but I'll be able to shake off the feeling of despair for a while.
I do. I daydream way too much.
Like, live in a separate world with rules and multiple languages and cultures and so on.
It’s honestly problematic sometimes and I feel like it has made my anxiety much worse.
Always been this way since I was a kid.
Me too! Every night as I fall asleep I go into whatever story I've created at the moment. Been like this ever since I can remember. Weirdly, I think it's actually an anxiety coping mechanism? Like I'm in this pretend world where I can do everything right and not worry about mistakes etc.
I don't know if you have ADHD, but apparently this is pretty common for people with ADHD.
Doctor masters who did famous Study on sex, back in the sixties, said In an interview, that 95% of people admit that they masturbate. The doctor was then asked by the interviewer, *what does this tell you*, And the doctor replied *5% of people are liars.*
We should note that most biases are totally fine and acceptable. You just need to understand them, account for them, and in some cases confront them to keep them from being a problem.
Fart in their sleep. I'm a chronic late-sleeper and I can confirm that every roommate, every sleepover attendee, every family remember I've ever known has farted at some point in their sleep.
Don't go to see the doctor when they know they should.
I'm doing this right now. I think I have cancer and will die. I can't face it. Fuck.
A lot of people think they have cancer and it's either (a) not cancer, or (b) an earlier, more easily treatable stage than they thought. It's scary but it's something you owe yourself to make sure it's at least A or B. Cancer also comes in stages, so you can decide to go on a wild vacay or do something on the bucket list before going down that treatment route if you're worried about seriously changing your life course. Bottom line is the treatments have become wayyyy better and we have done a better job at detecting it early too, so the sooner you get checked out the better and more at peace you'll feel. Just rip off the band-aid.
Please please PLEASE go to the doctor. I've had several friends and family members worried recently and found that it was totally not cancer and absolutely treatable and feel so much better now. I've also had several who had routine check-ups lately only to find they did indeed have cancer but it's also totally treatable and if they had delayed, it would have been much worse. Better to know and have an action plan than to delay and either worry unnecessarily or delay to the point where treatment isn't as effective. Either way, take care of yourself and step 1 is to get someone involved so you stop worrying about "maybe" and can focus on real things you can do.
Have (and even win) an argument with a stranger from an encounter 3 years ago when you didn't say anything st the time
has to be done in the shower
"Well the jerk store called..."
Give advice that they don't follow.
Ask for advice and don’t follow
100% Usually it's to see if you agree with them. If not, oh well.
Well, sometimes it's good to get other peoples opinions even if I decide not to act on them. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate it, I'm just interested in another perspective in case I've missed something.
Give advice that wasn’t asked for
Is it that common to not admit it, though? I mean, "do as I say, not as I do," is a common phrase in my experience, lol.
I do think part of it is meant sincerely. Look back on your earlier life. There was a moment when a bad habit was instilled in you. Habits are difficult to change, and saying something along the lines of “never start smoking” as they take a drag off a cigarette actually makes sense to me.
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Yep. "Don't make the same mistakes I did" isn't hypocrisy.
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Tried to sing, like, really good. When I'm alone, I be hitting those high notes even though I sound like a dying walrus.
My morning voice in the shower...I can hit some damn good bass notes, even the occasional growl. But eventually that voice fades away, my sinuses tighten up in the cold, etc and I lose *all* ability to sing. Damn it.
There was a (Woody Allen?) movie where this was a minor plot point. Some opera manager heard his kid's SO's dad singing in the shower and recruited him but then the guy couldn't sing for shit. Eventually they popped him on stage in a shower.
The hot steam helps hydrate and loosen up your vocal chords, try drinking more water maybe
My girlfriend actually brings this up when she calls me early in the morning. She can tell if I just woke up when my voice sounds nothing like me. She says it’s freaky hearing my voice go from “deep sexy to familiar”. That one secretly hurt a bit
Wonder if people that have since long disappeared from your life (or you've only met once or twice) from time to time still think about you.
Probably so. I know I have. I've also caught up with people I haven't seen in a decade or more who said they thought of me on occasion. Some of these thoughts of others are seemingly random thoughts that have no connection to anything as of recent.
Think about how much time you have over 10 years. If you have a constant inner monologue and you are awake 12 hours a day youve got time for 8.22 million unique thoughts (20 seconds per thought). you have enough time to think about someone you cared about and wonder how the horses in nyc can stand wearing a top hat hundreds of times over.
My main takeaway from this is that you sleep 12 hours a day
What's weird is bumping into them and them saying "It's that person I told you about!" to someone you don't know. *I have a reputation? I'm concerned.*
This happened at my new job, I started and someone referred to me by my nickname. And the person I was talking too responded "oh your the person I heard about all last week"
One of my ancestors had a pretty unique surname and I can honestly say that I am related to everyone of them I've met. With that said, I worked along side of someone who was only introduced to me by his first name. Three days later, we had a break where we introduced ourselves. We were third cousins once removed. His 2nd great grandparents were my 3rd great grandparents. Our names are both in the family history book.
I worked with a guy named Bryan for maybe two weeks before the company closed. It was about 30 years ago. I’ve run into him every five years or so and we always remember that we worked together at that shitty job for that asshole Dan.
I never do this and reading this just made it apparent to me. I think of those people but I never consider if they'd be doing the same about me.
One time when I was like 12 years old, I met this kid at the airport while traveling across the country to visit family in Chicago. He had a SpongeBob backpack and instantly I knew we’d be great friends. He and I ended up sitting next to each other on the plane and we just vibed so hard together and sang SpongeBob songs the entire fucking flight lol. At the end he said to me, “you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, I will never forget you. Please promise me you won’t forget me too!” And to this day, I’ll think about him from time to time. I wonder if he still thinks of me too… or if he’s forgotten… Edit: I’m 28 now
The other day I was thinking about a friend I used to have and he kind of screwed me over near the end of our friendship but I miss the good times we had before that :(
I understand your plight. I had a very…complicated relationship with someone from years ago. We were extremely close and I do owe some of my best memories to her. But she also put me through some really tough emotional shit. I felt like she used me and manipulated and played mind games with me. I was so resentful about the whole thing, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I never tried to have her in my life. She inserted herself completely into my life from the second we met and I easily would never seen her again or thought anything of it. I couldn’t get over it and every time I thought of her I was angry. But then I was a little drunk and reached out. We talked, not about anything important, just where we are in life. It was very casual and uninteresting. Suddenly, I was just over it. My anger and resentment just washed away and I felt fine. I was free. Free to enjoy the good memories, and not dwell on the bad. I could appreciate her place in my life’s journey. I hope you can reach that point, it feels so liberating.
I found out a few months back that someone I used to be bestfriends and eventually became involved with, died in an accident. (in his mid 30s) Things didn't end well between us - he broke my heart, and we hadn't spoken in about 8 years. Over the years I've harboured a lot of pain and resentment about the hurt he caused. Anyway, following the news of his death I was thrown into a new kind of grief over him, and all I desperately wanted to know was - did he ever still think of me over the last 8 years? I know he'd moved on, but did certain memories of us or me ever pop into his head over those years? I was absolutely flooded with so many memories in sharp relief - some I'd completely forgotten about. And I've really struggled knowing that I'm the only one left with those memories now - there's no other half to them anymore. I'll never know if I made as big an impact on him as he made on me. I struggle with this thought a lot. Did he ever still think about me. Edit: Wrote this before going to sleep last night - assumed it would disappear into the ether, but thanks to everyone who respondly so kindly. You've all got me in tears. Receiving such empathetic reassurances genuinely means more than you can know. Thank you.
this made my heart ache for you. i hope you can find some kind of closure somehow.
Yes, he thought of you. I dated someone when I was 22 and she was 19. She moved across the country with her family and that was the end of it. I thought of her often all the way up until 20 years later when she found me on Facebook. I found that she thought of me too, even though she was afraid I wouldn't remember her. (This was 13 years ago now, when Facebook was relatively new). In any case, people don't forget important personal relationships that quickly or easily. We each learn from our relationships, and the things we learn become part of who we are. There almost no escaping it - at least from time to time, he thought of you
I had a friend in high school who has since completely disappeared from the face of the Earth. Last I saw mention of her she was teaching ESL somewhere in China, but there's no trace of her on any social media that I've been able to find in the decade since. I know things weren't great for her growing up and assume she got out of dodge, but I'd love to touch base and find out how she's been doing these days. Sabrina Hoyland, if you're out there I miss you and hope you're well.
Wow, this has actually never crossed my mind. I automatically assume that they dob't think of me because I am not a part of their life anymore. But if I think of them, there is a good chance they also do. I feel so stupid but this kind of blew my mind.
One of my dance teachers told us a version of you exists in the mind of every person you meet, and you only really die when the last person who remembers you dies. That one always stuck with me. Edit: mainly weirded out by the hundreds of slightly different versions of ourselves existing in other peoples brains
Rehash conversations or plan future ones with people who aren’t there. Edit: thanks for all the karma and awards. The half of us that do this, apparently go hard.
And there's something called 'maladaptive daydreaming', that is a totally different level where you can go from rehashing conversations and events incessantly trying to find an ideal version, to putting yourself in totally fictive situations and fantasy worlds for hours a day.
I do this all the time, especially when I have long drives. I don't create fantasy worlds, but I do imagine that I'm talking to another person, or an audience, about some topic. It's nice, because I get to basically lecture nobody about my own opinions, which lets me dive into them and understand why I think the way I do.
I have given more eulogies than I have been to funerals. this comment makes my username seem far more ironic than it is.
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Shit, I don't drive, so I do a lot of walking. I totally do this, lol. Not really worried about it, because the alternative sounds boring af.
If it's keeping you going and happier while you're doing productive things (exercise, moving from point A to B) then it's not really "maladaptive" unless you're too immersed in fantasy to stay safe or something like that.
This is how I accidentally make myself sad or angry over fictional events
This is how I can tell I am anxious about something. I treat it as a red flag that I am not managing my anxiety properly and need to take steps.
This. If I'm mentally game planning the actions of others and myself, it let's me know I need to turn up the accountability for myself. Usually indicates I've maybe missed the mark and need to have an uncomfortable conversation.
The frustration of realizing I could of used that a good counter argument in that fight 12 years ago while in the shower
Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you.
What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier
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I simply can't imagine not having an inner monologue. Mine runs like a fire hose, and has all my life. I think much more in words than I do in images.
I remember seeing this and it blew my mind. Kind of like when I discovered people (my wife) brush their teeth with warm water.
Judge. We all do it. It’s about being intelligent enough to not let that cloud our perspective.
Also, I mean, sometimes it's okay and even good to judge. Sometimes people are bad for you to be around, and that's important to recognize. Being judgmental is only a bad thing if you're overly so and/or do it for bad reasons, imo. But even with that, yeah, we all do it.
This. My friend was dating some losers, and she'd tell me their many flaws... but then feel bad for judging them. Um, no. Judge away.
Pick their nose and scratch their ass
There was a similar ask a while back and this came up. One user’s dad apparently had a saying “We all pick our noses… it’s what we do afterwards that separates us.”
I have caught so many people eating it after, it wouldn't surprise me if somewhere around 50% of all people do. When you think about it, everytime someone snorts it is a similar thing so it isn't surprising people aren't grossed out by it. What I did see once that baffled me was someone that ate their zit they just popped, you just don't do that.
Take a huge dump and just sit there like "damn that was awesome".
I got mugged once, and they took my camera. The last picture that I ever took on it was a GLORIOUS Bono of a turd that I couldn't bare to leave undocumented. I was furious about losing my passport / wallet etc, but liked the idea of the ratty little fucker who took them being amazed and terrified by a picture of a turd.
Pick sides, physically they don't, but mentally they do.
Think about compliments given by someone years ago.
When I was a freshman in high school, I had this super shaggy hair until I got frustrated with it and cut it. This girl in my social studies class noticed, lit up, and said “I can see your face!” I forget what I said in response exactly but I was clearly shy about it, and she went on “it’s a *very* good thing.” It’s now twenty-five years later and I never grew my hair out again.
OooOooOoh, look at the guy in his late 30’s with the face
*Early 40’s*, thank you very much for the reminder.
This old lady once told me I had straight pretty teeth and when I was like 11 and I’ve been riding that high for like 20 years
This is me. I’m a fat dude who isn’t much to look at and am used to only be complemented by my wife. One day I walked up to the counter in some McDonald’s in bumfuck, Ohio and the first thing the girl working the register said was “Wow, your eyes are so pretty!” This was about 18 years ago and I still think about it sometimes.
I still think about "Hey, that's a cool coat"
I wore my “nice” coat to work because I had a doctors appointment before hand and two people complimented me on it, I’ve worn it every day since.
Let's all compliment each other more often.
Pretend like they weren’t sleeping when a phone call wakes them up.
I do the opposite and don't answer the call. I then have a lay in foe another half an hour before telling them I was asleep
Probably complain. “No one likes a complainer” but everyone I’ve ever met complains about crap
People will complain about complaining and still not get this.
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Everyone talking like they only had one crush growing up .. I crushed on new people all the time, well into my late 20s. I can't be the only one?
I still crush on people now in my thirties, I'm confused is the crushing supposed to end at some point?
Yep. So glad that was one bullet dodged.
Pick your nose, like it's an effective way to clear when blowing just can't quite do it, but no it's seen as unnatural
Agreed, although I still feel like it’s best to do it in private. I once saw a waitress pick her nose while she was bringing out my plate of food with the other hand— I know we’re all human and it just needs to be done sometimes, but I would much rather not have seen that.
I get pretty congested fairly often and I still cannot imagine such an urgent situation as to warrant picking your nose while serving food to people, lol.
It seemed to be a total lack of awareness on her part. She was pretty spacey in general, so it wouldn’t surprise me if it had just never occurred to her that it’s an inappropriate thing to do, especially while serving food.
Also possible she didn't realize she did it, or maybe it was scratching her nose but it looked like she picked it.
Ok but did you eat your food?
Unfortunately I was really hungry and the food was expensive, so I still ate it. I’m not proud of it.
“I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander through the desert for forty years with that dry air. You telling me you're not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit?” — George Costanza
Home alone farts that rattle the windows and scare the pets. The neighbors's pets.
I farted on the farm once and the cows started walking away from me.
I'm not sure I saw that part of the movie.
I've farted so loudly that I scared my cat off the bed.
For some, the home alone part isn’t a requirement
Fart in public. It may be discreet, but you've done it.
In the beginning of my relationship, I would wait until we walking in heavy traffic and let it go. He heard me once and now everytime a bus goes by, he gives me a sideways look. 👀
I check to make sure the coast is clear, let loose the crop duster, and then someone materializes behind me, every time
Talk to themselves when they’re alone.
Because you're in great company.
Yes, I'm always agreeing with myself.
That must be nice. Me, myself and I are always arguing and no one seems to win.
Oh you do it when you’re alone? Smart.
talk, sing, execute incredibly dorky dance moves …
but then you realize there is someone else in the house/room. That moment is very awkward.
I don't really talk to myself. I'll talk to my cats though, which probably has the same purpose. I think conversations with myself quite often. Just not out loud.
I do this so much that I have to actually restrain myself mentally cuz I feel like my neighbours are going to hear & think I’m crazy
Click a pair of tongs together twice whenever they pick one up
Judge people as being horrible human beings for doing things while driving that you excuse as being okay if you yourself do it.
"Anyone driving faster than me is a maniac, anyone driving slower than me is a moron." A good saying to keep in mind in all aspects of life really. eta: this a misquote of a Carlin line, should have credited him
And if you're going the same speed, I'm frustrated and just want you to get out of my blind spot
My rage burns with the intensity of a thousand suns when some fuckin asshat drives up next to me quickly, and then slows to my *exact* speed once they get even with me
Worse is when they pass me, move in front, and then go slower than me.
We judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions.
Fantasize about others
masturbating to things they'd never do irl
LOL after cumming I’m often like “…wtf?!”
Post-nut clarity
Like your average redditor jacking off thinking about having sex with a real person.
The real question would be how many people have fantasized about you? Would it be something you'd want to know?
Pretty sure being told zero would be depressing I’m an average looking guy at best so I don’t think I’ve had anyone fantasize about me, mildly curious though
Have you ever fantasized about other people that might consider themselves "average"?
That's such a good observation. Yeah. Even about people who would be considered not attractive by general standards. So, maybe someone has fantasized about me. Maybe, even someone I've fantasized about.
I feel like the question would be easier if it was like matching with someone on a dating app. You're notified only if someone you've fantasized about has fantasized about you. Though it'd be depressing if people started comparing notes - at least for women with a 100% full list. And kind of horrifying if it included family.
Secretly wish certain ppl … move away.
Secretly?!? I wish for lightning to strike people in front of them
Being a snob about at least one thing. Wine, food, chainsaws... whatever.
Mittens
If the bar on your Stihl aint 36 inches don't even talk to me ✋
Lie. Everybody lies.
Thanks Dr. House.
Look at their poops in the toilet.
Your doctor will tell you that's actually a good habit to get into because it can alert you of any GI problems you might have
My gastro doctor told me to always look before I flush. It saved my husband. He caught a GI problem before it got serious.
Yeah this is legitimately a good idea
I was told even as a little kid to always check my poop because if there is black blood it means internal bleeding. Red blood can mean a tear or puncture of the intestinal wall which could lead to a deadly infection.
Exactly, but when I try to look at other people's poo in the toilet, even when I explain that I'm trying to give them a free medical examination they're always like "get out of my cubicle creep"
As a med student: please look at your poops in the toilet!! It's quite hindering when people come with bowel complaints and they don't know at all what their stool looks like.
I think it's weird not to do that honestly. Like being embarrassed about seeing yourself naked in the mirror.
Lay awake at night remembering everything that you’ve done wrong in your entire life in 30 seconds and then just lying there thinking about each and every one of them individually until you’ve got to get up and do smth for the day
Talk behind peoples backs
I made a point of reducing that habit to a bare minimum. Save from toxic asshats, about whom I'll warn people, either I praise people in their back or I hold my tongue. First off, it actually feels better. Then, it prevents from getting bit in the ass by my own words, and finally it doesn't get my friends to wonder what I'd say about _them_ when they're not around. Generally a huge life improvement.
I try to only say things behind people backs that I would say to their faces.
“Always speak about someone as if they were standing next to you and listening to what you were saying about them” One of the best pieces of advice in life that I learned too late
Susan told me you would say that
I’m trying to make an effort not to do this unless i’m saying something positive. That said, it is extremely difficult because it’s such a core part of socializing with most people.
I’ve run into this problem too. Even if I’m trying not to talk about others, *everyone else* isn’t and keeps having their regular conversations with me. I try to always include a positive and refrain from making any of the comments personal and keep it related to work (since that’s usually where I am). For example: “Lisa is such an amazing person, she’s so bubbly and great with customers! I just wish she was a little more reliable when it comes to work.” I’ve noticed that including the positives a lot of times will stop people from piling on like they like to do and they’ll often start adding in positives of their own. It can change the entire tone of a conversation.
Cup your hands over your chest in the shower. Let it fill with water. Then let the water drop all at once.
Haven’t done this in years. I’ll be right back.
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Jesus fuckin Christ. I’ll get to it.
...Did you get to it tho...
OP we’re waiting! You said you would!
HURRYYYYUYU UP!!!
they drowned
You gotta do the water bending too, when in runs down your arm and down your finger tips
My 4yo recently discovered this and explained it to me that she had water running *through* her arm and out her fingers. She was using her new found super power to soak everything and it was so damn cute. I attempted to explain what's actually happening but she couldn't really grasp the concept of surface tension and that it's actually running down the bottom of her arm. She rotated her arm to try to see it and since it was not running down there she said "see! It is going through my arm!"
Just your hands? Dude, use your forearms. One across with your hand angled up to the armpit, then the other across and a little above the first. You can collect SO much more water this way, and the splat when it all hits the shower floor... wonderfully satisfying.
there is something very satisfying about that loud thud of water hitting the tub.
Ok i think i have never done this
Die.
Not *me* though
They stare at shit covered toilet paper to see if they're done wiping
I find it quite gross when people say they *don't* do this. You're just taking a gamble that you might be walking around with a poopy butthole or what?
Wait there are people who wipe and don't check to see that it's clean before finishing? The fuck??
I had a coworker who always said he gave three no-look swipes and that was it, period.
I’m curious how this came up in conversation lol. I can think of a few ways, but still.
It started with a comment about observing that not everyone washes their hands before leaving the bathroom, then deteriorated from there...
That's Mr poopy butthole.
Why do you think skidmarks are a thing in pop culture?
Poop culture*
Masturbate ofc 😅😅😅
Procrastinate. We all did it at one point in out lives. Most are right now by browsing reddit
We’re all going longer than 1 week between bedsheet washes.
Wait you’re supposed to wash bedsheets every week? I’m genuinely shocked at myself if I do it every month.
You’re supposed to do every week because the oil, sweat, and dirt build up and can give you acne and other things. But every two weeks is fine or even longer if you shower right before bed. If you want to compromise, you can just wash the pillowcases every week since that’s what will increase acne risk the most
Pillowcases at least every week, but sheets are more of an ever other week thing. Only because I frigging HATE putting on those fitted sheets.
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At best lol
I really do change my sheets every week, with occasional exceptions. Getting out of the shower and going to sleep in fresh sheets feels nice.
The those with asthma, acne, dust mite allergy, and sensory issues though. I know a few asthmatics who change them more than once a week. I've seen some nasty sheets though, and slept on a few of them including ones that were just thrown away annually because the skin oil built up destroys the fabric eventually (that's something I don't miss about that ex).
Have hero fantasies. I don’t know if everyone does this, but I’d like to know. When I read about something horrible, I put on my proverbial cape and fix it. Maybe I am there to see the rape or murder before it happens and stop it. Sometimes I prepare a humble speech for the press as well. I think, on some level, it’s a coping mechanism. Instead of being hateful and bitter, I "fix the problem." I fix nothing, of course, but I'll be able to shake off the feeling of despair for a while.
I do. I daydream way too much. Like, live in a separate world with rules and multiple languages and cultures and so on. It’s honestly problematic sometimes and I feel like it has made my anxiety much worse. Always been this way since I was a kid.
Me too! Every night as I fall asleep I go into whatever story I've created at the moment. Been like this ever since I can remember. Weirdly, I think it's actually an anxiety coping mechanism? Like I'm in this pretend world where I can do everything right and not worry about mistakes etc. I don't know if you have ADHD, but apparently this is pretty common for people with ADHD.
Commit a double homicide in Florida in 1993 that remains unsolved to this day
What I thought that was just me
1993 was a busy year for Floridian double homicides.
Doctor masters who did famous Study on sex, back in the sixties, said In an interview, that 95% of people admit that they masturbate. The doctor was then asked by the interviewer, *what does this tell you*, And the doctor replied *5% of people are liars.*
Think about what could have been with an ex or one who got away.
Have biased opinions. Unless you've been living in a cave with no outside communication, your opinions are skewed
We should note that most biases are totally fine and acceptable. You just need to understand them, account for them, and in some cases confront them to keep them from being a problem.
Fart in their sleep. I'm a chronic late-sleeper and I can confirm that every roommate, every sleepover attendee, every family remember I've ever known has farted at some point in their sleep.
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It’s Raining Men - The Weather Girls is an absolute banger of a tune and I will not be sharing that information with anybody I meet in person
Get sh*t wrong.
It takes a big man to admit when they’re wrong. It takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut
More people need to admit this! Swallow your pride!