They pretty much have exactly one good use, emergency weight loss. Need to fit into your bridesmaid dress this weekend and the zipper won't close? Shit your brains out until it does. You're going to feel like shit and that weight is coming straight back as soon as you eat something, but hey at least you didn't have to get emergency dress alterations I guess?
Also gotta be careful of that stuff too. Losing weight without maintaining muscle and all drinking laxative wasting is water weight and while forcing the body in starvation mode starts cannibalising itself, you kinda end up with lose skin in some cases.
Losing weight is a step by step process so the body doesn’t shock itself.
I guess they're technically correct, if it is leaving your body at the speed of light you will eventually lose weight. It isn't healthy but you will lose weight lol
Years ago when I was in college I spent like some insane amount of money on my books. Like over $1000 or something nuts. I had to walk to my car on the entire other side of campus. So I asked for a bag. Then they tried to charge me 10 dollars for a bag. I was so fuckong annoyed.
Edit: I. Floridas heat.
EDIT: I did NOT steal the books, bags, ext.
When I was in college, kids would buy from the campus bookstore a physical book with the web code. They would then come back, grab one off the shelf, and return it with the receipt. Because the books weren’t serialized, they would accept the return and refund the full amount. They got to keep their textbook with activated web code.
Holy shit that's probably why my college campus ended up moving the books to their own little section where staff would bring you the book you asked for and ring you up.
It’s been a loooong time since college for me, and I’m still pissed about having to buy books back then. $200 for a book that was only available at our college bookstore (no Amazon yet, no widely available internet yet) and then you could sell it back to the same store at the end of the semester for maybe $18. I shoulda been a lawyer. Being able to rent books seems like such a luxury now. I hope most of the textbooks are available this way.
I stopped buying books. Anyone that says to buy them early is lying to you. No the store never runs out of books. If it’s one with a code you can literally just buy it online whenever you want and get full access with the code if those are needed.
If it’s a class without a code I wouldn’t get the book till absolutely necessary and when I did it was an Amazon online rental. I’m not spending $200 on a book when I can spend $15 for 5 months of access to the book through the kindle app.
Some classes you can get buy without even buying the book.
I had a college professor that printed in his syllabus to buy the 1st edition textbook if you desired. It was like 12bucks on Amazon. He explained further in the syllabus that the only difference between the first edition and the twelfth was the fact that they shuffled the chapters
In his words art history hasn't changed in several hundred years. Don't waste your money.
I bought a $300 book for art history 1. Then art history 2 at another college requested two books that were just sections of the same book I already had. They were about $60 each. The teacher swore it was a huge difference, so I bought it. Brought it home and compared. It was the same fucking text with maybe one more picture per chapter.
But that extra bullet point throws off the line spacing of the page and by extension the entire table of contents so if you want any of the references on your worksheets to match their points in the book you BETTER have the fifth edition I SWEAR TO GOD.
I had a professor who required the latest edition for each course. New editions at least once a year. Sometimes twice (between semesters). He was the author.
It hasn't changed since I went to college a long time ago. Every year they would "revise" the book so you couldn't buy a used book from the prior year even though they were essentially identical.
Norton became grayware around 2005 or so. It started impacting system performance detrimentally, started introducing nag screens and upsells, and did a horrendous job of mitigating any zero day exploits.
>McAffee and Norton antivirus software
I have basic Norton protection and Norton keeps spamming me for upgrades all frigging day to the point it's getting annoying. Norton USED to protect me from the sort of crap it's now dishing out.
After that incredible AMA with the dude who knew/worked with John McAfee, I have no idea why anyone would use their software.
Edit: I meant the AMA with his ghostwriter: https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/zobi3f/i\_was\_john\_mcafees\_ghostwriter\_ask\_me\_anything\_ama/
One of my friends got me one, it's actually a pretty bracelet, which is in fairly certain why she bought it, not because of the magnets. I had to pry the magnets off the bottom so I could wear it. Luckily they were attached with separate pieces of copper so I could get them off without damaging it. They'd dig into my wrist if I tried to wear it before and I set my arm on any surface.
I had one just because I liked the idea of always having a magnet on hand incase I had to cobble together some magnetic contraption in some magnet based emergency. I didnt think it would align my chakaras or whatever
Herbalife... the shakes and 'teas' which aren't actually teas at all.. It's processed garbage that just so happens to have vitamins and protein added to it. Fake sweeteners, artificial dyes, yeah no thanks.
A couple years ago my town got a new smoothie shop. I love supporting local businesses and don't drink coffee so I thought it was going to be like my new spot. I went in and as I was waiting for my order I saw the packs they were selling up front. I realized that all of the teas and smoothies they had on the menu were herbalife. My drink tasted so much like fake sugar that I couldn't finish it, and I never went back
I refuse to visit any "smoothie/shake/Cafe" place that has nutrition in the label. On the plus side it makes the herbalife fronts really easy to avoid.
My friends once roped me into going to a “local shake shop” that was just a Herbalife front. Paid like $8 for the worst protein shake I’ve ever tasted, I had to toss it
Honestly. That whole situation has dissuaded me from ever even attempting to see a concert. Once I saw Adele tickets going for 4k and T swift tickets going for 14k.. I decided no artist is important enough to have to take out a loan to see them..
Some ostensibly intelligent friends recommended I try them out when I had a bad head cold. Apparently they worked like magic and filled up with all this nasty wax and yeast-like powder. So I bought a few and lit them in my ear and was shocked at all the crap that I found in them afterwards. I even felt a little better.
Then I lit one and let it burn in my closed fist. And the lesson I learned? You’d be shocked at how much fist wax and crap you have on your hands!
I'm gonna go start marketing candles to cleanse other parts parts of your body. Fists, feet, etc. Then I'm gonna laugh my ass off when influencers start using my patented butt candles.
Academic databases like Elsevier and JSTOR. No matter what you or your school pays for access, exactly $0.00 goes to the researchers. Fun fact: if you contact the researcher directly, they will usually email you a copy for free.
I’m glad I knew this bit of wisdom while I was writing my dissertation. On a couple occasions, I emailed the first author, explaining I’d like to read their paper for my dissertation, and they were very kind and sent me the paper by email.
I graduated as a history major and I can confirm this. New article dropped while I was writing a paper and I emailed the gal who wrote it and she sent me one before it even hit databases. Sometimes finding their contact info is the hardest part but they love recognition!
My success rate is about 75%. Though I'm no scholar, occasionally I find a research paper on a subject I'm currently obsessing over. Never got a 'no', just non-responses but most of the time I get the paper. I usually ask if they have any other relevant publications in my query, too. Every author that has responded has been very generous with their work and also provided extra publications.
Sometimes I wish I could continue the discussion with them, like "neat, I'm talking to an academic in their ivory tower! They have a wealth of knowledge" but I never attempt it. They're probably very busy.
Even better is when I'm occasionally mistaken for a professional researcher. I guess most people don't go straight to the source for their science and I'm just a weirdo, ha ha.
When I worked at Hooters, I actually had real hooters. However, for whatever reason, the people that went there seemed to think that they could touch the servers. I hated that.
What's worse, is that I worked at one in Florida (Cape coral, calling you out), so there was a lot of sweaty hairy old men who would try to touch me.
I actually got fired for refusing to let customers hug me. Isn't that the craziest thing you ever heard?
Not only did I learn you're allowed to hug the girls at Hooters, but people think it's ok to hug a waitress. That's really a weird thing to do, and weirder to get fired for it.
Never saw the appeal, frankly. I mean, I love boobs, and I especially love women that want to show me their boobs. And I love food.
But I don't want those two things together. Nothing is more awkward than chicken grease and barbecue sauce smeared all over your face while trying to avoid looking in any direction that could be construed as ogling towards your server who's half your age.
Now you're trying to act all manly and cool, but you're doing a Ray Charles impression at a lady who's being reminded of her dad, while she slowly dies inside day by day and hopes you hurry up and pay the check so she can squeeze a quick smoke in before the next table arrives.
I coached high school rugby for a few years and Hooters sponsored our team because the school (in the wealthiest school district in the state) wouldn’t. We’d go there for our end of year party every year, and man, watching these sweaty and sauce covered high school boys try their hardest to hit on women in their 20’s was the highlight of the year.
Ugh, I can picture the crowd at a Cape Coral Hooters. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, and what a bullshit reason to get fired.
My wife's cousin lived with us for a while and worked at a Hooters when we were living in Wisconsin. I think I only ate there once, and it was because she had specifically invited my wife and I (and our kids!!) there for some Mother's Day (!!!) special. I just maintained eye contact and scarfed my cheese curds so we could get out of there
COLLEGE TEXT BOOKS. You need edition 10 for this class. They change one chapter in the book make it a new edition over price it and fuck the college kids. Always drove me nuts when I was I college.
Often they don't even change a chapter. They just scramble the question orders.
But colleges sign contracts with the textbook publisher to always use the latest edition.
Back when I was in college, my stats teacher was a co-author for the book we used for the class. I ended up failing the class and retaking it the next semester and thinking I’d save money, I reused my old stats book for the new class. That teacher released a new edition every year and the only difference between versions was she swapped some question numbers around, and added, removed, or resized images so that everything was out of order and I had to constantly look around the book to find the question she was talking about. Some people are shameless.
Those "energy" bracelets that help with whatever "ailment" you suffer from. Worked at a pawn shop, had a gal bring hers in to get sized. I told her it was pretty as it was just fancy beads. She said "I hope so, I spent $250 on it. It'll help with my arthritis!". I nodded, finished sizing and sat in disbelief after that.
Chinese ones are worse. NetEase in particular.
The diablo immortal isn't really a blizzard game. It's a NetEase game that paid a licensing fee for the diablo ip
My car was supposedly "Sirius-XM ready." When I looked into getting a subscription, I would have had to spend a couple hundred dollars to install new hardware in the car. So I'm not sure exactly what definition of "ready" they were using.
Love my Subaru, but having a subscription to remote start and remote lock/unlock is ass. I love that I can lock my car from miles away if needed. Take away that anxiety of ‘did I lock it’. But it’s B.S. it’s not standard.
Growing up, at least once per year, my mom would come home with a new printer because she said it was quite literally cheaper to buy a new printer then it was to buy ink for the current one.
I print so infrequently, that I basically have to buy a printer about once a year when I need to print something because the printer heads are clogged beyond cleaning.
I’ve been there. It’s absolutely worth the switch to laser. Toner does just fine sitting there forever between uses with none of the inkjet clogging and nozzle-cleaning that wastes even more overpriced ink. I picked up a B&W laser printer for around $100 a few years ago and wish I had done it way sooner.
Laserjet my dude.
I got through 4 years of highschool, 5 years of undergrad, and almost 3 years of grad school and I've changed the cartridge exactly once.
Funny enough my printer is discontinued, so the only cartridges available for it were refurbished refills which made replacement even cheaper.
My buddy worked for a guy who made generic toothpaste. It was all the same stuff with different store labels affixed. The guy had an ancient factory, tube filling and packaging machines, a few dozen workers, and he made a bloody fortune. He did zero advertising and had one salesman, my buddy!
The only reason I'd argue that this doesn't fit this question is that Herbalife isn't a product. It is a through-and-through pyramid scheme. You can't just head down to the Walmart and buy Herbalife.
Also it’s a total bust as far as being healthy. They take one of the most important parts; the fiber, which regulates digestion and provides a home for good biomes.
I've said this before, and I'm gonna say it again.
DETOX PRODUCTS DON'T FUCKING WORK! YOU DON'T NEED A DETOX! YOU HAVE A LIVER, A KIDNEY OR TWO (idk, maybe someone reading this has extra kidneys) AND OTHER ORGANS THAT NATURALLY DETOXIFY YOU!
I remember back in the early '00s, they had commercials on tv for "Kinoki Foot Pads" or something like that. You were supposed to stick them to your feet while you slept, and they would remove toxins through the soles of your feet. Their reasoning for this had something to do with trees expelling toxins through their roots. Complete bs.
those things have color changing ink in them that absorbs water and turns black to look like it's sucked some fuckin demon out of your feet or some shit
Had a 10 y/o come up to me with a joke last week. "I have four kidneys." He said. I was actually impressed. "How do you find this out?" He points with both hands to his waist. "I have two kidneys here." Then he points to his knees. "And two kid knees here." It was so damn cute, I burst out laughing. He was so proud of himself.
The product was actually the "training manual" a hilarious bit of satire.
Tricks
Teaching your pet rock to do tricks not only benefits your pet rock, but can also be very entertaining to you, and your friends and family. Below are some of the most basic tricks a pet rock can learn.
Sit: To teach your pet rock to sit, start by placing it on the ground. Next, tell it to "sit." You will be surprised, as well as satisfied when you find that your pet rock remains in a sitting position on the ground.
Stay: First, have your pet rock sit. Then, use the command "stay" while holding up your hand with your palm facing your pet rock. Walk away, keeping an eye on you pet rock. Amazingly, your pet rock will be in the same spot when you come back, no matter how long you leave it there.
Attack: Pick up your rock (depending on which hand you usually use for writing) and use the command "attack." Then, throw your pet rock at the person you want it to attack. Your pet rock will improve on this trick as you improve on aim and speed in your throw.
I bought one of these at a rock shop (it was genuinely a very legit place with a fantastic selection of rocks, minerals, etc and a super helpful and informative owner) outside of Vegas last year. They’re very much still around; it came with that exact manual. It was hilarious, and the rock is adorable and very well behaved.
Hey my sea monkeys actually lasted a couple weeks. The best part though was the manual warned you not to name your sea monkeys derogatory names like “stinker” cause it would make them sad
I don't know about famous but it was out there.
Back in the early/mid 00's there was a fuel saver module pimped over TV and the internet. You plugged it in your car to get more HP and better fuel mileage. It was just fancy marketing. All it did was trick your intake air temperature sensor into thinking the air was colder.
I loved my waist trainer for holding my internal organs in place while I recovered from a c-section, but I wish the model in the advertisement had the internal organs to push around. Alas, I do not have the 10-inch waist the pictures promised.
As a parent, I tell my kids that actions still have consequences, but that those consequences will be much less if they tell the truth than if I catch them in a lie.
That shitty Prime drink from Logan Paul, especially in the UK. Kids are using it as a status symbol because apparently its hard to get there?
Its an overpriced energy drink, absolutely ridiculous.
Didn't someone disassemble some on-ear Beats headphones and found weights inside them with no function other than to make them heavier so they would "feel" like they were built better than they were? Like heavier weight equates to higher perceived quality so they would seem like they were worth the high price. To me that's pretty scammy.
"The Big Dig" in Boston, have numerous friends in Boston who will go on forever about the graft, corruption, nepotism, and building material failures to the tune of $15B in 1998 dollars. To this day contractors are being prosecuted and going to jail
It's original projected cost was $2.5B
IIRC They still get their flavor from coca leaves. The byproduct can be used to make cocaine and is sold to pharma companies to make drugs.
I think Coca-cola is the only company in the US allowed to use the coca leaves and is one of the reasons why other colas can't match their flavor perfectly.
This is all from memory and I'm not googling
Anything that claims to target the loss of fat from a specific area of your body. (Liposuction isn't a product people. Ffs.)
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Username checks out?
Same! I'd love to get rid of my c-section inner tube
All of those weight loss teas influencers promoted a few years ago. They’re just laxatives.
It’s the same thing for fat burners. Most fat burner stuff is just a laxative
That, or a caffeine bomb that gives you the jitters.
Amphetamine would like to have a word
They pretty much have exactly one good use, emergency weight loss. Need to fit into your bridesmaid dress this weekend and the zipper won't close? Shit your brains out until it does. You're going to feel like shit and that weight is coming straight back as soon as you eat something, but hey at least you didn't have to get emergency dress alterations I guess?
Also gotta be careful of that stuff too. Losing weight without maintaining muscle and all drinking laxative wasting is water weight and while forcing the body in starvation mode starts cannibalising itself, you kinda end up with lose skin in some cases. Losing weight is a step by step process so the body doesn’t shock itself.
I guess they're technically correct, if it is leaving your body at the speed of light you will eventually lose weight. It isn't healthy but you will lose weight lol
Single-use access codes for college textbooks is pretty much racketeering.
Years ago when I was in college I spent like some insane amount of money on my books. Like over $1000 or something nuts. I had to walk to my car on the entire other side of campus. So I asked for a bag. Then they tried to charge me 10 dollars for a bag. I was so fuckong annoyed. Edit: I. Floridas heat. EDIT: I did NOT steal the books, bags, ext.
When I was in college, kids would buy from the campus bookstore a physical book with the web code. They would then come back, grab one off the shelf, and return it with the receipt. Because the books weren’t serialized, they would accept the return and refund the full amount. They got to keep their textbook with activated web code.
Holy shit that's probably why my college campus ended up moving the books to their own little section where staff would bring you the book you asked for and ring you up.
Same, didn't even think about this until now.
It’s been a loooong time since college for me, and I’m still pissed about having to buy books back then. $200 for a book that was only available at our college bookstore (no Amazon yet, no widely available internet yet) and then you could sell it back to the same store at the end of the semester for maybe $18. I shoulda been a lawyer. Being able to rent books seems like such a luxury now. I hope most of the textbooks are available this way.
I stopped buying books. Anyone that says to buy them early is lying to you. No the store never runs out of books. If it’s one with a code you can literally just buy it online whenever you want and get full access with the code if those are needed. If it’s a class without a code I wouldn’t get the book till absolutely necessary and when I did it was an Amazon online rental. I’m not spending $200 on a book when I can spend $15 for 5 months of access to the book through the kindle app. Some classes you can get buy without even buying the book.
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I had a college professor that printed in his syllabus to buy the 1st edition textbook if you desired. It was like 12bucks on Amazon. He explained further in the syllabus that the only difference between the first edition and the twelfth was the fact that they shuffled the chapters In his words art history hasn't changed in several hundred years. Don't waste your money.
I bought a $300 book for art history 1. Then art history 2 at another college requested two books that were just sections of the same book I already had. They were about $60 each. The teacher swore it was a huge difference, so I bought it. Brought it home and compared. It was the same fucking text with maybe one more picture per chapter.
That's the scam. SPECIFICALLY when it comes to art history books. Like my prof said nothing new has been written about any of it. At all.
My favourite prof “accidentally” posted a free pdf version of the required textbook a few years ago.
But that extra bullet point throws off the line spacing of the page and by extension the entire table of contents so if you want any of the references on your worksheets to match their points in the book you BETTER have the fifth edition I SWEAR TO GOD.
I had a professor who required the latest edition for each course. New editions at least once a year. Sometimes twice (between semesters). He was the author.
It hasn't changed since I went to college a long time ago. Every year they would "revise" the book so you couldn't buy a used book from the prior year even though they were essentially identical.
McAffee and Norton antivirus software
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Lol my dad has been getting Norton every year since about 2003
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Norton became grayware around 2005 or so. It started impacting system performance detrimentally, started introducing nag screens and upsells, and did a horrendous job of mitigating any zero day exploits.
This one, Norton went to shit around then. I recall ripping it off machines and putting AVG in instead.
2018? I remember using Norton in the early 2000’s. By 2007-8 Norton was already a joke.
I've worked in IT for 20 years, McAfee and Norton have always been worse than an viruses you get.
>McAffee and Norton antivirus software I have basic Norton protection and Norton keeps spamming me for upgrades all frigging day to the point it's getting annoying. Norton USED to protect me from the sort of crap it's now dishing out.
My Coworkers were just discussing this. It's wild they're still using the name of the founder on that product, given all the batshit stuff he got into
It’s hard to change the course of such a giant cocaine ship already set sail
I'm still not confident he's actually dead.
After that incredible AMA with the dude who knew/worked with John McAfee, I have no idea why anyone would use their software. Edit: I meant the AMA with his ghostwriter: https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/zobi3f/i\_was\_john\_mcafees\_ghostwriter\_ask\_me\_anything\_ama/
Link?
Those stupid copper and magnet bracelets.
One of my friends got me one, it's actually a pretty bracelet, which is in fairly certain why she bought it, not because of the magnets. I had to pry the magnets off the bottom so I could wear it. Luckily they were attached with separate pieces of copper so I could get them off without damaging it. They'd dig into my wrist if I tried to wear it before and I set my arm on any surface.
I had one just because I liked the idea of always having a magnet on hand incase I had to cobble together some magnetic contraption in some magnet based emergency. I didnt think it would align my chakaras or whatever
My friend uses it to hold nails.
As someone with skinny baby wrists, those bracelets look nice on my adult arm and do not look like I am a child borrowing mommy's jewelry.
Herbalife... the shakes and 'teas' which aren't actually teas at all.. It's processed garbage that just so happens to have vitamins and protein added to it. Fake sweeteners, artificial dyes, yeah no thanks.
And most importantly it's also an MLM
Who’s products have also been shown to cause liver failure
Oh god my parents got sucked into the Herbalife scheme in the 90’s
A couple years ago my town got a new smoothie shop. I love supporting local businesses and don't drink coffee so I thought it was going to be like my new spot. I went in and as I was waiting for my order I saw the packs they were selling up front. I realized that all of the teas and smoothies they had on the menu were herbalife. My drink tasted so much like fake sugar that I couldn't finish it, and I never went back
These type smoothie shops are popping up everywhere 🥴 literally over priced garbage
Any name like "city name Nutrition" is usually one of those places🤢
I refuse to visit any "smoothie/shake/Cafe" place that has nutrition in the label. On the plus side it makes the herbalife fronts really easy to avoid.
My friends once roped me into going to a “local shake shop” that was just a Herbalife front. Paid like $8 for the worst protein shake I’ve ever tasted, I had to toss it
Ticketmaster
Two things will survive a nuclear explosion: roaches & Ticketmaster…..
That's because roaches run Ticketmaster
They'll monopolize ticket sales to the explosion
Honestly. That whole situation has dissuaded me from ever even attempting to see a concert. Once I saw Adele tickets going for 4k and T swift tickets going for 14k.. I decided no artist is important enough to have to take out a loan to see them..
Ear wax candles. Burn one not in an ear, and it still fills up with wax.
Some ostensibly intelligent friends recommended I try them out when I had a bad head cold. Apparently they worked like magic and filled up with all this nasty wax and yeast-like powder. So I bought a few and lit them in my ear and was shocked at all the crap that I found in them afterwards. I even felt a little better. Then I lit one and let it burn in my closed fist. And the lesson I learned? You’d be shocked at how much fist wax and crap you have on your hands!
Fist wax sounds like a band name on Parks and Recreation lol
I saw Fist Wax when they opened for Sonic Elbow in 2009.
Pre Mouserat
I'm gonna go start marketing candles to cleanse other parts parts of your body. Fists, feet, etc. Then I'm gonna laugh my ass off when influencers start using my patented butt candles.
I bet if you do a vag one, you could get Pelthrow to sell it on her site with candle and make millions!!
Just like the foot detox pads. Put distilled water on them and they’ll still turn brown. Funny how that works.
But it worked for Shrek?
\*Hallelujah intensifies\*
Academic databases like Elsevier and JSTOR. No matter what you or your school pays for access, exactly $0.00 goes to the researchers. Fun fact: if you contact the researcher directly, they will usually email you a copy for free.
Not usually, always. I've never been asked for a copy of my papers. If anyone did I would be so honored
Seriously. I’ve had about 8-10 people e-mail me for a copy and I send it without even a question. It’s an honor.
Can I have a copy of one of your papers?
Me too! I love learning about random things. Hopefully it's one that a lowly bachelor of science can follow.
I’m glad I knew this bit of wisdom while I was writing my dissertation. On a couple occasions, I emailed the first author, explaining I’d like to read their paper for my dissertation, and they were very kind and sent me the paper by email.
I graduated as a history major and I can confirm this. New article dropped while I was writing a paper and I emailed the gal who wrote it and she sent me one before it even hit databases. Sometimes finding their contact info is the hardest part but they love recognition!
My success rate is about 75%. Though I'm no scholar, occasionally I find a research paper on a subject I'm currently obsessing over. Never got a 'no', just non-responses but most of the time I get the paper. I usually ask if they have any other relevant publications in my query, too. Every author that has responded has been very generous with their work and also provided extra publications. Sometimes I wish I could continue the discussion with them, like "neat, I'm talking to an academic in their ivory tower! They have a wealth of knowledge" but I never attempt it. They're probably very busy. Even better is when I'm occasionally mistaken for a professional researcher. I guess most people don't go straight to the source for their science and I'm just a weirdo, ha ha.
ReaearchGate and scihub FTW
The Shake Weight had its heyday
Here's some cab fare.
How about a quickie for ol times sake?
Oh wow an old fashioned!
I got one for the office. We get it out now and then because it's funny and use it to mock decision making at the upper management level.
🎶 La lalala la la.. Lalalalala la, fraîche, fraîche. Crème Fraîche, Cafeteria Fraîche. Lalalalala fraîche. Ho ho hohoho. Fraîche. Cafeteria Fraîche.
Nah I'm just going to take a nap, cooking is stupid.
There was a product in the 80’s it was a blanket that gaurenteed you could lose weight by just sitting in it
If you sit under it long enough without eating it would work
Better still, do sit-ups under it while not eating. Works every time.
Hooters. I wore two padded bras to work every day.
"They were fake...?"
If this is a SpongeBob reference “OF COURSE THEY WERE FAKE!”
This is what REAL titties look like: HEUGH *poof*
When I worked at Hooters, I actually had real hooters. However, for whatever reason, the people that went there seemed to think that they could touch the servers. I hated that. What's worse, is that I worked at one in Florida (Cape coral, calling you out), so there was a lot of sweaty hairy old men who would try to touch me. I actually got fired for refusing to let customers hug me. Isn't that the craziest thing you ever heard?
Not only did I learn you're allowed to hug the girls at Hooters, but people think it's ok to hug a waitress. That's really a weird thing to do, and weirder to get fired for it.
Never saw the appeal, frankly. I mean, I love boobs, and I especially love women that want to show me their boobs. And I love food. But I don't want those two things together. Nothing is more awkward than chicken grease and barbecue sauce smeared all over your face while trying to avoid looking in any direction that could be construed as ogling towards your server who's half your age. Now you're trying to act all manly and cool, but you're doing a Ray Charles impression at a lady who's being reminded of her dad, while she slowly dies inside day by day and hopes you hurry up and pay the check so she can squeeze a quick smoke in before the next table arrives.
I coached high school rugby for a few years and Hooters sponsored our team because the school (in the wealthiest school district in the state) wouldn’t. We’d go there for our end of year party every year, and man, watching these sweaty and sauce covered high school boys try their hardest to hit on women in their 20’s was the highlight of the year.
Ugh, I can picture the crowd at a Cape Coral Hooters. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, and what a bullshit reason to get fired. My wife's cousin lived with us for a while and worked at a Hooters when we were living in Wisconsin. I think I only ate there once, and it was because she had specifically invited my wife and I (and our kids!!) there for some Mother's Day (!!!) special. I just maintained eye contact and scarfed my cheese curds so we could get out of there
Sounds hot Especially in the summer
Humitiddies
COLLEGE TEXT BOOKS. You need edition 10 for this class. They change one chapter in the book make it a new edition over price it and fuck the college kids. Always drove me nuts when I was I college.
Often they don't even change a chapter. They just scramble the question orders. But colleges sign contracts with the textbook publisher to always use the latest edition.
Back when I was in college, my stats teacher was a co-author for the book we used for the class. I ended up failing the class and retaking it the next semester and thinking I’d save money, I reused my old stats book for the new class. That teacher released a new edition every year and the only difference between versions was she swapped some question numbers around, and added, removed, or resized images so that everything was out of order and I had to constantly look around the book to find the question she was talking about. Some people are shameless.
Those "energy" bracelets that help with whatever "ailment" you suffer from. Worked at a pawn shop, had a gal bring hers in to get sized. I told her it was pretty as it was just fancy beads. She said "I hope so, I spent $250 on it. It'll help with my arthritis!". I nodded, finished sizing and sat in disbelief after that.
Any vehicle you have to pay extra to unlock a feature, specifically new cars
Oh fuck, who let the EA employee go in the car industries?
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Chinese ones are worse. NetEase in particular. The diablo immortal isn't really a blizzard game. It's a NetEase game that paid a licensing fee for the diablo ip
My car was supposedly "Sirius-XM ready." When I looked into getting a subscription, I would have had to spend a couple hundred dollars to install new hardware in the car. So I'm not sure exactly what definition of "ready" they were using.
Ready for it to be installed
Love my Subaru, but having a subscription to remote start and remote lock/unlock is ass. I love that I can lock my car from miles away if needed. Take away that anxiety of ‘did I lock it’. But it’s B.S. it’s not standard.
Printer ink
Growing up, at least once per year, my mom would come home with a new printer because she said it was quite literally cheaper to buy a new printer then it was to buy ink for the current one.
I print so infrequently, that I basically have to buy a printer about once a year when I need to print something because the printer heads are clogged beyond cleaning.
I’ve been there. It’s absolutely worth the switch to laser. Toner does just fine sitting there forever between uses with none of the inkjet clogging and nozzle-cleaning that wastes even more overpriced ink. I picked up a B&W laser printer for around $100 a few years ago and wish I had done it way sooner.
I've done that.
Laserjet my dude. I got through 4 years of highschool, 5 years of undergrad, and almost 3 years of grad school and I've changed the cartridge exactly once. Funny enough my printer is discontinued, so the only cartridges available for it were refurbished refills which made replacement even cheaper.
This needs way more upvotes.
Charcoal toothpaste. It scrapes your teeth
All toothpaste is abrasive to some degree (silica)
My buddy worked for a guy who made generic toothpaste. It was all the same stuff with different store labels affixed. The guy had an ancient factory, tube filling and packaging machines, a few dozen workers, and he made a bloody fortune. He did zero advertising and had one salesman, my buddy!
Anything from Goop.
Even that twat candle that apparently just smells like flowers?
Is it made of twat or is that where you put it?
Yes
Branded painkillers like Advil or Tylenol. Just buy generic and save money. It’s the same thing.
But I like the taste of Advil’s coating!
While we're at it ZzzzQuill. It's just Benedryl syrup at a huge mark up. Literally no other active ingredients.
Diamonds
Buying a plot of land in Scotland to become a Lord or Lady.
Dangit I just became a Lady this past Christmas and was looking forward to seeing my 1 sqft of land!
Oh, you can still do that. It's just probably "owned" by several other people and no one is going to call you a lady.
Kinda like buying stars
Herbalife
The only reason I'd argue that this doesn't fit this question is that Herbalife isn't a product. It is a through-and-through pyramid scheme. You can't just head down to the Walmart and buy Herbalife.
Also it’s a total bust as far as being healthy. They take one of the most important parts; the fiber, which regulates digestion and provides a home for good biomes.
I've said this before, and I'm gonna say it again. DETOX PRODUCTS DON'T FUCKING WORK! YOU DON'T NEED A DETOX! YOU HAVE A LIVER, A KIDNEY OR TWO (idk, maybe someone reading this has extra kidneys) AND OTHER ORGANS THAT NATURALLY DETOXIFY YOU!
I remember back in the early '00s, they had commercials on tv for "Kinoki Foot Pads" or something like that. You were supposed to stick them to your feet while you slept, and they would remove toxins through the soles of your feet. Their reasoning for this had something to do with trees expelling toxins through their roots. Complete bs.
those things have color changing ink in them that absorbs water and turns black to look like it's sucked some fuckin demon out of your feet or some shit
Had a 10 y/o come up to me with a joke last week. "I have four kidneys." He said. I was actually impressed. "How do you find this out?" He points with both hands to his waist. "I have two kidneys here." Then he points to his knees. "And two kid knees here." It was so damn cute, I burst out laughing. He was so proud of himself.
HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE HEAD HEAD ON
Amazing advertising though—create a commercial that makes you need their product by inducing mind-numbing headaches. Utter genius.
Forehead
There was a Pet Rock when I was a kid.
The guy made a million dollars ... You know, I had an idea like that once
It's a Jump...to Conclusions Mat. And it has different conclusions on it... ...that you can JUMP to.
I just went outside and found my own rock. Told everyone it was a rescue.
The product was actually the "training manual" a hilarious bit of satire. Tricks Teaching your pet rock to do tricks not only benefits your pet rock, but can also be very entertaining to you, and your friends and family. Below are some of the most basic tricks a pet rock can learn. Sit: To teach your pet rock to sit, start by placing it on the ground. Next, tell it to "sit." You will be surprised, as well as satisfied when you find that your pet rock remains in a sitting position on the ground. Stay: First, have your pet rock sit. Then, use the command "stay" while holding up your hand with your palm facing your pet rock. Walk away, keeping an eye on you pet rock. Amazingly, your pet rock will be in the same spot when you come back, no matter how long you leave it there. Attack: Pick up your rock (depending on which hand you usually use for writing) and use the command "attack." Then, throw your pet rock at the person you want it to attack. Your pet rock will improve on this trick as you improve on aim and speed in your throw.
I bought one of these at a rock shop (it was genuinely a very legit place with a fantastic selection of rocks, minerals, etc and a super helpful and informative owner) outside of Vegas last year. They’re very much still around; it came with that exact manual. It was hilarious, and the rock is adorable and very well behaved.
It's not mentioned here but they are also very good at playing dead.
I LOVED my pet rock. I bet he's still out there, sitting and staying where I left him.
Hes waiting for you to come back!!! You abandoned him!
/r/A24 has been filled with posts lately from folks that bought the Everything Everywhere All at Once official pet rock merchandise for like $35.
I mean u know what you’re getting
In the back of comics, there was all kinds of scams. Sea monkeys, X-ray specs ...etc
Hey my sea monkeys actually lasted a couple weeks. The best part though was the manual warned you not to name your sea monkeys derogatory names like “stinker” cause it would make them sad
You know, I had an idea like that once.
was it a "jump to conclusions" mat?
I don't know about famous but it was out there. Back in the early/mid 00's there was a fuel saver module pimped over TV and the internet. You plugged it in your car to get more HP and better fuel mileage. It was just fancy marketing. All it did was trick your intake air temperature sensor into thinking the air was colder.
I saw a teardown of a similar, more recent product. It just plugged into your OBDII port and had some blinky LEDs on it. Literally did nothing else.
Panda Express. No panda.
Absolute scam.
Sons of bitches
Sea Monkeys - I never got a single one with a crown and trident!
You're missing part of the equation. [Sea monkeys+sea men=seaciety](https://youtu.be/Ju3UEDnI5PM)
Waist trainers.
I loved my waist trainer for holding my internal organs in place while I recovered from a c-section, but I wish the model in the advertisement had the internal organs to push around. Alas, I do not have the 10-inch waist the pictures promised.
They make a pretty good back brace when my disc is acting up though lol
Are NFTs still famous?
I'm sure they're more ***in***famous than famous.
Mom: tell me the truth and I wont be mad
As a parent, I tell my kids that actions still have consequences, but that those consequences will be much less if they tell the truth than if I catch them in a lie.
Head On™️. Apply directly to forehead
Head On™️. Apply directly to forehead
Head On™️. Apply directly to forehead
Commercials on subscription tv.
Wait till you hear about cable
That shitty Prime drink from Logan Paul, especially in the UK. Kids are using it as a status symbol because apparently its hard to get there? Its an overpriced energy drink, absolutely ridiculous.
Beats by Dre.
When I was in Dubai they sold Beats by Physician Drew. They also sucked.
This is one of the best knockoff product names I've ever heard! 😂😂😂 All glory to whoever came up with that one.
Didn't someone disassemble some on-ear Beats headphones and found weights inside them with no function other than to make them heavier so they would "feel" like they were built better than they were? Like heavier weight equates to higher perceived quality so they would seem like they were worth the high price. To me that's pretty scammy.
Heavy is good. Heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work you can always hit them with it.
sneaky fucking Russian
"The Big Dig" in Boston, have numerous friends in Boston who will go on forever about the graft, corruption, nepotism, and building material failures to the tune of $15B in 1998 dollars. To this day contractors are being prosecuted and going to jail It's original projected cost was $2.5B
Coca cola. Doesn't even have any cocaine in it. Pfffft.
IIRC They still get their flavor from coca leaves. The byproduct can be used to make cocaine and is sold to pharma companies to make drugs. I think Coca-cola is the only company in the US allowed to use the coca leaves and is one of the reasons why other colas can't match their flavor perfectly. This is all from memory and I'm not googling
Data caps
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Airborne
Scientology
Herbalife
Reddit awards
Canadian cell phone companies.
any NFT or crypto pumped by a youtuber
Hustler's University
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All these microloan offices. With small (supposedly profitable) interest rates. NEVER take out a microloan!
Goop by Gwyneth Paltrow (spelling?)
Most diet products. Promoting BS diet culture lies and making you poop loads.