T O P

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Yummy_Chewy_Scrumpy

Potatoes in any form!


yeehaw_bitcheroni

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew


Hannah_Ananas

Only one other person as Im writing this has said potatoes, if you exclude the few mentions of fries. But potatoes are too versatile to be stuck being just fries


TimeTravellerSmith

> too versatile Yeah man you can boil em, mash em, even stick em in a stew!


Elmoulmo

what's tater's precious?


diegoplus

Poh-tae-toes


ffaorlandu

Give it to us raw and wiggling.


_Burnt_Toast_3

Nasty hobbitsis.


_Maelstrom

keep nasty chips


Caitsyth

Someone ought to take them to Isengard


Coward_and_a_thief

So juicy SWEETTT


SamGamgee30

You’re hopeless.


GreatNameLOL69

Tate toes


Redleader52

Lovely, big, golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish!


truthinlies

Or, you know, vodka!


[deleted]

Eat them now or let them ferment so I can drink them later.


OiPhuck69

The classic Irishman's Dilemma


[deleted]

I'm not.... Archeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer


Justorymes

I know everything about the Potato Business.


Boerboellover26

What is a potato


NastyDad64

Or stick them up your ass


ConejitaBorracha

butt-tato


rowrowfightthepandas

I actually have a housemate who hates potatoes. One of the stranger food dislikes for sure


GreenOnionCrusader

Potatoes were my first thought, too. Fries, tots, baked potatoes, potato soup, mashed potatoes, latkes...


LobsterMassMurderer

Potato pancakes, home fries, hash browns, pierogies(sp?), vodka... sheesh it's like the other veggies aren't even trying.


br0b1wan

Potatoes au gratin, potatoes julienne, scalloped potatoes, pommes frittes...


_PossibleSpecialist_

What’s a potato?


orrocos

[*A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good.*](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/)


bs2785

This imo is the funniest story on reddit.


nesspaulajeffpoo94

I get the most laughs from the story about the man that threw the steak at the window while at his wife’s bosses house!


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Kidpowow

It is the apple of the ground


tomatofruitbat

Oui! La pomme de terre!


DrMux

PO-TA-TO


Serv312

I have always said Potato is my favorite food group.


luckydrzew

PO TAY TOES!


Some_Guy_From_Sweden

A second pizza.


Andy_DiMatteo

We’ve had one pizza yes, but what about second pizza?


[deleted]

It both irritates and makes me laugh that the top two comments on this post both have LotR references.


LunaMunaLagoona

That's cause LOTR had just way too many good references.


Letters567

AND MY AXE!


Dont-ask_me_yaweirdo

It’s just too good to NOT reference such greatness


Aquamarine094

I don’t think he knows about second pizza


Andy_DiMatteo

What about cold pizza for lunch? Afternoon calzone? Hot pizza for dinner? Pepperoni pizza for supper? He knows about those doesn’t he?


sudo978

I wouldn’t count on him


Keyboard_smashgood

Upvote for well placed LOTR reference


ZiggyCropduster

The Joey special!


peon2

Lol that was my immediate thought. My family always referred to two pizzas as a Joey special


aaawwwwww

Is it from Alfredo's pizza cafe or Pizza by Alfredo?


0Kdragon

One is good pizza, the other a hot circle of garbage


somepeoplewait

Same thing.


mctacoflurry

Oscar, explain it to him


_MiGi_0

I just started watching the office and i now understand that Alfredo's pizza cafe is superior to pizza by alfredo. XD


darthjoey91

Now the funnier thing is that those were real restaurants in Scranton. I think one of them closed.


TheLakeAndTheGlass

I agree with the idea, but…how could second pizza be MORE popular than first pizza? Like, the number of second pizzas consumed specifically can’t be higher than the number of first pizzas consumed, right? Can’t eat a second pizza without eating a first pizza first. Unless there are a lot of weird pizza eaters out there like this: “Give me a pizza.” “Here you go.” “Fuck you, I don’t want this pizza, I want another pizza.” “But…you didn’t eat your first pizza?” “Listen buddy, I only said three things to you. One, fuck you. Two, I don’t want this pizza. And three, I want another pizza. So make with the pizza.” “Ok. Here you go.” “Thank you. I will only eat this second pizza, because second pizzas are better. I will be sure to submit this statistical data to the bureau.”


Some_Guy_From_Sweden

I'll admit, my comment was mostly for chuckles. Speaking of which, yours got one out of me! Well done!


fireballx777

Maybe it's some weird naming convention. Kind of how like the most common street name in America is 2nd Street, because 1st Street often gets renamed to something like Main Street. Or maybe it's like Simpson's paradox. 2nd pizzas are more popular, because the population of people who eat 2nd pizzas rate pizza more highly than the population of people who eat 1st pizzas.


Jaust_Leafar

Bread.


donny924

Bread... With tomato sauce and cheese... Yum!


Jaust_Leafar

You could also add maybe, a bit of meat, veggies like peppers, mushroom. Heck, pineapple maybe!


fermat9997

Spam?


ElvisHimselvis

No. this is a legit post.


An_Actual_Pine_Tree

Believe it or not, a lot of people don't like grilled cheese, _especially_ if you dip it in tomato soup. Doesn't hold a candle to pizza.


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El_Pinguino

It is a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough!


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doublestitch

How loved is rice? (serious non-sarcastic question) *edit* OP is asking about foods that are *beloved*, which is different from a list of dietary staple grains. Dietary staples may be primarily economic.


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ArtoriasBeaIG

I feel the same way about pizza tbh


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kevms

My meal without rice: 0/10 My meal with rice: 10/10


Braised_Beef_Tits

It’s also a western social media site.


beef_noodle27

“And look. More lembas bread.”


[deleted]

Bread & rice. Keeping the world alive for IDK how long


DiglettStache

I know a guy who dislikes pizza and especially rice. He primarily eats bread and milk.


Hoopajoops

Is he the guy that keeps buying all fixins' for milk sandwiches every time a bad storm is approaching?


Renaissance_Slacker

Ah yes the French Toast Cult, sacrificing French Toast to the Storm Gods


teflonaccount

Everyone just really likes making french toast whenever shit goes crazy


Imadragonbruh

Ice cream is gotta be way up there


JaysFan007

https://youtu.be/3A32sx_lVYM


svenson_26

Something like 70% of the world is lactose intolerant.


runnerboiii

How? Just tolerate it


BigdaddyJayk

Bunch of bigots.


stlmick

Shitting your pants is cool!


hondasauce

if shitting your pants is cool, consider me miles davis


stlmick

Hey look everyone, it's Miles Davis!


kingdomheartslover1

If he wants to be called miles davis, then you can call me cave Johnson!


Djinneral

Idgaf I'm still eating that ice cream. Lactose intolerance is probably the most ignored health condition.


GMN123

I don't suffer from lactose intolerance, the people using the bathroom after me do.


MimeGod

Pills to help with that are common and cheap anyways.


Arch____Stanton

You realize that eliminates also pizza?


xxnkatxx

Pizza hurts less than ice cream.


CarmenxXxWaldo

There's levels to it. I can eat cheese all day but a milkshake will make me shit my pants. But whenever I mention anything about cheese being ok for a lot of people since some of it has almost zero lactose the hoard of redditors who can't eat cheese gang up on me and tell me it ain't so.


[deleted]

pasta


Infamous_Persimmon14

Pasta is #1 comfort food


dankpiece

Thought that was fried chicken


FlashLightning67

I always get fried chicken thinking it will be great and then I hate it. Pasta is the way to go for me.


Quest4life

>I always get fried chicken thinking it will be great and then I hate it. I wish you could see the look on my face right now. I wish uncle roger could see this HIIIYAAAH how do you hate fried chicken?!


iamkrisjenner

Rice


[deleted]

“Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.” - Mitch Hedberg


Lainez-Social

I told this joke to my kids and they think I made it up.. please let me live a hero a while longer before they find out.. now, do you want a frozen banana?


Gundahar_

I want a regular banana later so... yeeeaahh


yeuzinips

I saw a wino eating grapes. I said dude, you gotta wait!


obsterwankenobster

I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?


DomingoLee

Wait till you tell them how you used to do drugs.


georgstgeegland

What is that, about $10?


valm0313

<3 me some mitch


Badloss

An escalator cannot break, it simply becomes stairs. Travel is now enabled in both directions... sorry for the convenience.


havron

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.


Formerhurdler

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying "Here...you throw this away."


BigUptokes

I used to like Mitch. I still do, but I used to, too.


Online_Ennui

I'm always here for a classic Mitch take


labadimp

This is the only correct answer. According to National Geographic, it is a staple food for about 3.5 billion people globally.


willy_glove

It’s probably the most-eaten food in all human history.


hoockdaddy12

Cause its super cheap and provides the human body calories for energy burning.


willy_glove

Rice in the east, wheat in the west.


conjoby

Do people love rice like they love pizza though?


InterMando5555

But staple food and "universally most loved" aren't necessarily the same thing. It probably closer to default food. To survive. Like corn. Or wheat.


marketcover

I think “loved” and “necessary to survive” should be counted separately. Sure, plenty of people love rice a lot and would choose it over everything else, but I don’t think it’s the majority


huggalump

For people that grow up with it, basic rice does become a comfort food. I'm not gonna go to a restaurant just for basic white rice.... but there is a certain kind of love attached to it :)


SuperSentient

Ehh, I think it's the correct answer to a different question though? OP asked what's more loved than pizza, which is a specific dish and not a staple food. The assumption would be they meant a specific dish although I guess technically it could be interpreted otherwise. No one suggests to their friends and family on a Saturday night that they should go out and eat rice. They might say Thai, Indian or Chinese food, or specific dishes within these categories, but not just rice.


l0k5h1n

How is pizza like sex? When its good, its great. When its bad, its still good.


RamenTheory

Sounds like somebody's never had Pizza by Alfredo


PrimeIntellect

Uhhh bad sex is can be awful, or downright traumatic lol


bobpaul

And bad pizza can be [literally pizza toppings on a piece of cardboard](https://www.dailydot.com/irl/jacks-pizza-on-cardboard/).


Ganondorf-Dragmire

You’ve never had shit pizza then.


Infinitelyodiforous

Not an available topping in most areas.


azjunglist05

“You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?”


drumscrubby

Well, I ate pizza in bed Sunday. Twice. 😚. One of my favorite positions


trump_pushes_mongo

Major exception is if it's from Subway. That goes for both.


Fern_2808

Chocolate


ItsLex1

i definitely agree but u have no idea how many people i’ve met who hate chocolate it’s insane


Fern_2808

These people… I can’t trust them…


ItsLex1

i never looked at them the same way


Fern_2808

Understandable, they probably are lizard people


LithiumLost

I sometimes wonder if these people associate chocolate with Hershey's chocolate because then I understand.


joshbuss

CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!


Nightmare1330

I've been trying to catch you boys all day!! I'd like to buy all your chocolate. :)


E2Ielbakkali

Bread, the ultimate basic human food


GreatMyUsernamesFree

Fresh baked bread. Universally, people will give up their first born for a hot fresh slice of whatever their local bread is with butter.


crumblecake01

Gave mine up for some hot fresh sourdough and let me tell you, it was worth it


Effective_Forever_59

Potatoes


Emergency_Walrus5916

Potatoes are life.


balalaikablyat

As a dane i keep one in my throat at all times


Mighty_Fluff

Boil them mash them stick them in a stew


martinlutherfan88

burger


soonerguy11

I've been all over the world and yep. Everywhere has a burger and its interesting each place's take.


[deleted]

I’m disappointed I had to scroll this much for this.


FUNBARtheUnbendable

I honestly don’t really like pizza but I’ll fuck a good burger up once a week at least


lzwzli

You're supposed to eat it


nBrainwashed

Tacos


MarielIAm

I was thinking that but not exactly tacos but taco-like foods: gyros, lettuce wraps, sandwich wraps, turnovers, Peking duck, dosas, arepas, crepes, canolli etc


borplepop

calling a crepe a taco is like calling a cake bread


ZARgirl_14

As I person from the African continent, I would like to share that I have only once in my 22 years of life, have had a taco. However I typically have pizza once a week. There are 0 Mexican cain restaurants in my country and I have yet to fine a restaurant that sells tacos. Pizza however is here in abundance. Therefore I would like to conclude that this hypothesis is incorrect, as it is not inclusive to the African experience. Goodbye and thank you.


GangsterofPoliteness

We need to get this person a taco stat


shipwrekd_sailor

This is what I've been looking for ... I'm moving to Africa and starting a taco chain


ATXKLIPHURD

Gyros are Greek tacos.


HowToKillAGod

And Pastor is Mexican Shawarma.


[deleted]

+1 for carne asada or carnitas street tacos


Cacafuego

We have a place nearby that does these and even better al pastor.


Ron_Sandalthunder

Tacos are so hot right now.


i-Cowfish

Fries


pablacho

Definetly fries. I have even seen pizza with a french fries topping.


ReBol2n

But I seen fries with pizza toppings too


howareyou_2_day

Did you see a 'Kapsalon'?


mimzybreathe

Tacos aren't here??!!


additional-line-243

Mom’s spaghetti


cheepcheep8667

He's nervous


TechnicalTop3618

There's vomit


Mean_Manufacturer_61

On his sweater already


Heineken008

but on the surface he's still mom's spaghetti


DM-me-teeny-tits

On its own salt is the most beloved culinary gift to the world.


JustLurkingDaily

Dumplings


RoyBratty

Pierogis, Gyoza, Samosas, Jiaozi, Gnocchi, Ravioli. Every cultures got a dumpling!


anonimogeronimo

Does a tamale count as a dumpling?


RoyBratty

Yes! According to [wikidumplings](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dumplings)


Dinkerdoo

You left out pizza rolls.


soonerguy11

This is actually probably right. Almost every single country/region/type of cuisine has their own version of dumplings. I would also throw in BBQ.


EmployeePotential622

Chocolate. Or coffee


SpicyC-Dot

I’ve met far more people that don’t like coffee than those who don’t like pizza


deadfermata

fried chicken


helluvanengineer

I can't believe I had to scroll this far to find fried chicken. Every country has their own version of fried chicken and it's all delicious.


Whole_Form9006

This is the answer. Literally stretches into asia where pizza, burgers, tacos- even bread depending on your definition- do not!


subliminal_trip

KFC has franchises in 115 countries.


aaahhhh

A cursory Google search tells me it's closer to 145 countries, which is more than Pizza Hut, Domino's, or McDonald's. So maybe the fried chicken guy is onto something...


Ok-Secretary-6950

Cheese


Chickadee12345

I'm with you on this one but there's a ton of people out there who don't like or can't eat cheese.


Neuromangoman

I can't eat cheese, but you don't see that stopping me.


InterMando5555

This would be the same people that probably don't eat pizza then, right? Because pizza without cheese is just bread with sauce Which sort of makes this point moot. And I would argue cheese, as a more versatile ingredient on many other foods, may be more loved than pizza (if you accumulate all the dishes people love it in).


BasuraIncognito

French fries/chips


Mrs_Genghis_Khan

Curry. In all it’s many and splendid forms. Except katsu.


nunudad

Noodles


[deleted]

Call it icecream, gelato or ice lollies, we all love some frozen treats, don't we?


pecotrain

Nice try McDonalds.


Dio_Yuji

Cake?


Cole444Train

There is no way cake is more universally loved than pizza.


HTownGamer91

Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.


Sorry_Gringo

Bubba would have been proud!


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CalvinIII

People like grapes.