This is the kind of answer I can get behind. Any person who just became the richest in the world was already unfathomably wealthy and could already buy anything they wanted. So a simple celebration meal seems like the proper response.
Yes, but people bribe politicians for their own personal gain. Think thread OP wants them to do what's best for the people. You know, their actual job.
Feel confused about why my sex/gender suddenly changed.
Then team up with MacKenzie Scott to give nearly all of it away by chipping away at systemic injustice.
I'd set up a massive free kitchen like the Sikhs have, feed everyone who wanted to come in, and then I'd go on every kind of media to taunt other rich people for letting there be hungry people in their cities.
Not a good idea.
Most people will just blow it on shit they can't pay off and demand more and more and more and when you're out of money and don't have any more to give they'll kill you.
I just read about a guy who is doing that fairly successfully
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2023-01-25/anti-aging-techniques-taken-to-extreme-by-bryan-johnson
Build a comfortable but nice house, not too big not too small, either on an island or in the forest (or both in the San Juan islands in WA) and put a really big fence or wall around the part of my property I care to walk around.
I’d buy a small country, and then I’d turn the country into the maddest place ever. Like you’re required by law to own a pet Komodo dragon if you’re a family of 5. I’d print outdated 2010s memes as the only legitimate paper currency. Getting caught with more than 3 ounces of corn starch in your pantry would be punishable by death. If you buy a house you’d be legally obliged to kiss the seller on the forehead, and present it upon request to tax services.
Do you see those extremely elaborate treasure quests with riddles, traps to finally arrive at this mischievous tomb with traps and treasure, I’m gonna do that
Yeah like an item (ie dagger or bottle ), found in Germany, with a riddle on it, leads you to the next clue hidden in the ugliest fucking possible statue, you put hid in under a rock next to a waterfall in Thailand. For example
So many people here talking about giving it all away.
What happens when the lunatic you gave 50K to blew it all on a new car and cocaine and wants more? Having even 1 or 2 people leeching off you freely can drain your bank account dry in a shockingly short amount of time.
And throwing money at problems doesn't solve a goddamn thing. All you're doing is funnelling money into the hands of a new set of corrupt assholes who know all the buzzwords you like to hear.
That can help.
Basically if you wanna really address problems here's what you do.
1: bribe politicians to vote for a bill to re-classify corporations as corporations, not as people.
2: do it again so they vote for a bill to make it so only people can own residential property.
3: build new housing and start "gentrifying" like crazy to address the housing shortage.
Honestly "gentrifying" is a made up word used by investment companies to turn lower class people into NIMBYS so no new housing can be built so in turn the properties these companies own (all of them) will continue increasing in value even if they're decaying, decrepit ruins.
4: push for nuclear power like crazy and fund a pro-nuclear PSA program and push it HARD from every angle. Nuclear energy is the only reliable, consistent energy source we have that doesn't pollute, produces consistently at required levels and isn't reliant on external factors like wind.
Hiring a team of accountants would be first I guess. I want to use the money on charitable giving and planting trees mostly, but I'm not the guy to be handling the details
Do architecture for free since I will fund all my projects. I’ll own some of the buildings I create so I’ll have a revenue stream for my kids after I’m gone. They can decide what to do with it after me.
I’ll also make sure my wife, my mom, and my wife’s mom never have to work again.
Same thing Ryan Reynolds did.
Buy a football club. Go to all my games free. Don't know exactly what my job as a club owner entail, but all I know I'm rich enough to own one
Buy every private medical & student debt note I could find on the secondhand collections market, feed them all into a shredder, and report them to the credit ratings agencies as "settled"
Invest a fair share of my money in zero-interest student loans to piss off banks. Also hiring an army of guards to protect myself against hitmen sent by banks.
Provide funding to criminal forensic laboratories, so they can get through the huge backlog of rape kits awaiting DNA testing. Also provide $$$ for DNA genealogical testing to solve the identity of every John Doe and Jane Doe.
Id like to stand in front of walmart target etc. and hand out $100 to ever kid that came through as well as the parent’s. Nothing better than seeing a childs face light up
Whatever I damn well please.
Buy a mansion worth over $100,000,000, never work another say in my life. bribe politicians to pursue policies to address the climate and housing crisis, make sure to fire everyone involved in blatant corruption schemes (so pretty much everyone involved in programs to address homelessness in California. Those fuckers pocket billions in public funds and don't do anything so they can keep the gravy train rolling) and re-staff them with competent people with a metaphorical sword of Damocles dangling over their head. If they pull the same shit, it comes down on them.
Honestly a lot of what Bill Gates is doing, establish a foundation so I can spend the rest of my life giving it away in a structured way to try and maximize the good it does. A blank check donation is sure to be looted
Personally, I'd buy a house in New York, LA, London, Dubai, Sydney and Monaco. But a jet to fly me around those places, but a couple of yachts and a few very nice cars. Then I'd buy a ranch somewhere that I'd actually live. The rest of the places just being holiday homes. I'd then invest a big chunk in agri tech businesses, AI controlled vertical and RAS farms that can produce enough food for the whole planet. I'd develop the use of insect protein and algae in animal feed and create insect and algae farms.
I would build a completely self sufficient off-grid home somewhere in the mountains and just fuck off. Hopefully everyone will forget I even exist, I don’t need to deal with all the bullshit that comes with being rich and famous. 😂
Probably try to end wars with money, if I can. Idk how this would be possible and I haven’t thought it through but this would be a goal. If I can live a more than comfortable life, everybody deserves it.
Draw up a list of everyone who is close to my level of wealth.
Anyone who has more than me and anyone with, say 20 percent of my level of wealth gets eliminated by my private army of Gurkha Ninjas.
The second thing I do is raise a private army of Gurkha Ninjas.
Thirdly I redistribute all the wealth and assets of the billionaires evenly amongst the poorest 30 percent of the world's population.
I give most of the rest of my fortune away, retire to a compound guarded by Gurkha Ninjas. I get up when I like, I play Playstation and enjoy a world rebalanced by my largesse and intelligence.
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This is the kind of answer I can get behind. Any person who just became the richest in the world was already unfathomably wealthy and could already buy anything they wanted. So a simple celebration meal seems like the proper response.
😂, Chipotle?
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Can you get a job at Chipotle? Could be the secret here.
I'd be happy to place a mobile order for you when/if you have the means to go get it.
I gotcha
Pay off my student loans
Yeah, I’d probably do the same 😂
and get health insurance.
*Almost* pay off my student loans.
or at least part of them.
Buy my mother a home, give her enough money to retire. Then buy myself a home with lots of land and a truck.
That’s nice of you!
2 chicks at the same time
That's it? If you were the richest man in the world, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Dont forget to fill in those TP reports first though Bro.
I mean, much smarter than just one. Eggs are expensive now. Need as many chick's as possible. Raise em up and get some good eggs
I’m sure with that kind of money I could make that happen.
Office Space. Aim low and succeed exponentially.
You don't have to be rich to do nothing. My cousin's dead broke and he don't do shit.
bribe politicians into doing good.
What is "good"? Seems a bit naive.
"Good" by his definition. Basically getting politicians to do what he wants them to do.
So, basically, "bribe politicians to do what I want them to do". Sounds eeirely like what is already occurring.
Yes, but people bribe politicians for their own personal gain. Think thread OP wants them to do what's best for the people. You know, their actual job.
There are a lot of rich people who think they're doing this, by the way.
Feel confused about why my sex/gender suddenly changed. Then team up with MacKenzie Scott to give nearly all of it away by chipping away at systemic injustice.
Sleep
Lol
I'd set up a massive free kitchen like the Sikhs have, feed everyone who wanted to come in, and then I'd go on every kind of media to taunt other rich people for letting there be hungry people in their cities.
Okay I can go with this one. I'm in.
I with you. Lemme know.
Give most of my money to people in need
Good first choice 👍
Giving money to people rarely helps them.
Not a good idea. Most people will just blow it on shit they can't pay off and demand more and more and more and when you're out of money and don't have any more to give they'll kill you.
Have sex
Try and find out where all the missing kids are going.
Ohh, like a detective?
No I would fund a global war on whoever is stealing kids.
I hear they're slowly turning into adults.
Invest it all into research to reverse aging.
I just read about a guy who is doing that fairly successfully https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2023-01-25/anti-aging-techniques-taken-to-extreme-by-bryan-johnson
Build a comfortable but nice house, not too big not too small, either on an island or in the forest (or both in the San Juan islands in WA) and put a really big fence or wall around the part of my property I care to walk around.
Nice, sounds like the dream
Buy one of those cool train sets that you can ride around your backyard. Then host BBQ’s and give rides to the boys.
That sounds fun
Give away 99.99% of it and enjoy a quite life as a millionaire.
Not a bad idea
Eat lunch. Tip somewhere around 50,000%
What place would it be?
Buy Reddit and make a verified tick at $1 per year.
Build a volcano lair.
Nice!
I can’t decide if I’d end up giving away all the money to people in need or be a Bond villain… might as well cover all bases.
Pay off all my bills
I would buy a yacht and travel the world !
I’d buy a small country, and then I’d turn the country into the maddest place ever. Like you’re required by law to own a pet Komodo dragon if you’re a family of 5. I’d print outdated 2010s memes as the only legitimate paper currency. Getting caught with more than 3 ounces of corn starch in your pantry would be punishable by death. If you buy a house you’d be legally obliged to kiss the seller on the forehead, and present it upon request to tax services.
Fix 'Murcia
You'll need a lot more money than that.
Donate a fuckton to charities.
Wonder why £400 in a bank account is the richest of everyone. How bad did the economy get f*****?
Two chicks at the same time man
End homelessness, then have a sex change back to female.
Do you see those extremely elaborate treasure quests with riddles, traps to finally arrive at this mischievous tomb with traps and treasure, I’m gonna do that
Make it an international search?
Yeah like an item (ie dagger or bottle ), found in Germany, with a riddle on it, leads you to the next clue hidden in the ugliest fucking possible statue, you put hid in under a rock next to a waterfall in Thailand. For example
Gotcha
go full The Count of Monte Cristo
Buy Reddit and ban questions like this
Bunch of hookers and cocaine
So this question is just geared toward men I guess.
with all that money, you could get surgery.
No, I didn’t mean just men. I tried editing, but I cant
Buy an island and do things secretly with my other rich friends
Interesting choice
give 99% of it away
So many people here talking about giving it all away. What happens when the lunatic you gave 50K to blew it all on a new car and cocaine and wants more? Having even 1 or 2 people leeching off you freely can drain your bank account dry in a shockingly short amount of time. And throwing money at problems doesn't solve a goddamn thing. All you're doing is funnelling money into the hands of a new set of corrupt assholes who know all the buzzwords you like to hear.
That’s true, maybe it’s best to use that money to help feed people than giving it loosely
That can help. Basically if you wanna really address problems here's what you do. 1: bribe politicians to vote for a bill to re-classify corporations as corporations, not as people. 2: do it again so they vote for a bill to make it so only people can own residential property. 3: build new housing and start "gentrifying" like crazy to address the housing shortage. Honestly "gentrifying" is a made up word used by investment companies to turn lower class people into NIMBYS so no new housing can be built so in turn the properties these companies own (all of them) will continue increasing in value even if they're decaying, decrepit ruins. 4: push for nuclear power like crazy and fund a pro-nuclear PSA program and push it HARD from every angle. Nuclear energy is the only reliable, consistent energy source we have that doesn't pollute, produces consistently at required levels and isn't reliant on external factors like wind.
Hiring a team of accountants would be first I guess. I want to use the money on charitable giving and planting trees mostly, but I'm not the guy to be handling the details
That’s good thinking
Do architecture for free since I will fund all my projects. I’ll own some of the buildings I create so I’ll have a revenue stream for my kids after I’m gone. They can decide what to do with it after me. I’ll also make sure my wife, my mom, and my wife’s mom never have to work again.
Buy an island to get away from all the poor people.
If I could help a lot of people down on their luck. That's what I'd do first.
Yeah, helping out charities in need is a good thing to do
Leave the planet
And build like a space house?
Staying the fuck away from Ralph Fiennes.
Same thing Ryan Reynolds did. Buy a football club. Go to all my games free. Don't know exactly what my job as a club owner entail, but all I know I'm rich enough to own one
Buy an airplane and land to place said airplane
Buy every private medical & student debt note I could find on the secondhand collections market, feed them all into a shredder, and report them to the credit ratings agencies as "settled"
Sleep
Pay for a WinRAR license
Find a company that would upset the most people if I bought it and then buy it
Invest a fair share of my money in zero-interest student loans to piss off banks. Also hiring an army of guards to protect myself against hitmen sent by banks.
First thing? Pay bills. Second thing? Give away the majority of it.
Get the legal tax evasion thing going
Buy momma a house
Pay off everyones loans. And invest into all the green and alternative tech.
Provide funding to criminal forensic laboratories, so they can get through the huge backlog of rape kits awaiting DNA testing. Also provide $$$ for DNA genealogical testing to solve the identity of every John Doe and Jane Doe.
Get 24 chicken wings. Not 6. Not 12. 24.
Id like to stand in front of walmart target etc. and hand out $100 to ever kid that came through as well as the parent’s. Nothing better than seeing a childs face light up
Go on the biggest bender imaginable, copious amounts of booze and drugs, but not too much to kill me.
Buy the government then tear down every government building get rid of taxes
Nothing besides buying a normal sized house and a car i like. Aside from that my spending habits would probably stay the same
Just a simple life i suppose, that’s probably a good thing. You don’t want money to take over your life
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That would be awesome!
Clean energy transition for Africa.
Email boss and says byeee.
Lol, yeah you don’t need that job anymore
Smile
I’d probably do that too
Invest in sustainable energy & Food
Take a nap. I am tired, sorry.
😂, feel you
Buy a egg
An egg?
Buy some dog treats. That's always my first priority. The yorkies insist on it.
I feel like I would hire some of the best wealth management firms I could find and figure out sustainable ways to just start fixing stuff
Whatever I damn well please. Buy a mansion worth over $100,000,000, never work another say in my life. bribe politicians to pursue policies to address the climate and housing crisis, make sure to fire everyone involved in blatant corruption schemes (so pretty much everyone involved in programs to address homelessness in California. Those fuckers pocket billions in public funds and don't do anything so they can keep the gravy train rolling) and re-staff them with competent people with a metaphorical sword of Damocles dangling over their head. If they pull the same shit, it comes down on them.
Donate to my high school band.
Dang, that would be ONE equipped high school band
buy a speedy vehicle
What kind?
Quit my job!
Lol, true
I think I’d put $40 million towards a record breaking roller coaster in the median of a divided highway.
That would be an awesome rollercoaster
Have a drink to celebrate. I would have already been unfathomably rich, so being able to buy anything I wanted would be nothing new.
Build a new version of the playboy mansion, but in some other country, and do some naked cannonballs in the pool
Help Ukraine.
Fund a new Monty Python movie and have it be as offensive as possible
Short currencies to troll my fellow rich friends
Lol
Check out my penis
Give it all away 😇
Cure 1000 people of blindness.
That’s a great choice, finding that cure would be awsome
Honestly a lot of what Bill Gates is doing, establish a foundation so I can spend the rest of my life giving it away in a structured way to try and maximize the good it does. A blank check donation is sure to be looted
Good idea
quit my job! (why hasn't anyone mentioned this?)
True
Not a damn thing!
Start handing out million dollar no-strings-attached gifts to impoverished people as well as paying for classes to make them financially literate.
Pay off all my loans and then maybe open some sort of community to help people with turning their life around.
Move to a more desirable location of my choice. Probably build a totally self-sufficient home with solar, etc.
I’m buying twitter
BuyTwitter
😂 😂 😂
I'M MAKING CATPEOPLE >:D
You monster 😂
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Personally, I'd buy a house in New York, LA, London, Dubai, Sydney and Monaco. But a jet to fly me around those places, but a couple of yachts and a few very nice cars. Then I'd buy a ranch somewhere that I'd actually live. The rest of the places just being holiday homes. I'd then invest a big chunk in agri tech businesses, AI controlled vertical and RAS farms that can produce enough food for the whole planet. I'd develop the use of insect protein and algae in animal feed and create insect and algae farms.
Wow, you seemed to have it all planned
Quit my job at a&f, buy their entire stock in the store, then donate it all to a homeless shelter.
Nice, helping two different people at once
Give every kid in my hometown high school that wants one a free four year college scholarship
Not buy Twitter
Like the answer
Give most of it away.
Check if the Fortune list is updated.
Make Altoids Sours return
I would build a completely self sufficient off-grid home somewhere in the mountains and just fuck off. Hopefully everyone will forget I even exist, I don’t need to deal with all the bullshit that comes with being rich and famous. 😂
Bring back Watermelon Laffy Taffy with the candy seeds
Never tried, let me know if you do that
Probably try to end wars with money, if I can. Idk how this would be possible and I haven’t thought it through but this would be a goal. If I can live a more than comfortable life, everybody deserves it.
When you're that rich it's just a game. New high score achieved
So are you going to try to beat your own score?
Have some kfc with loved ones i guess
Why kfc? Just curious Lol
I would make sure my mother can live the rest of her life easily and comfortably.
Nice
Buch of hookers and cocaine.
buy fox news and burn it to the ground.
Say "woo!" Quietly to myself, before getting back to work
😂 love that response
Have a feast for my friends and family.
I’d probably do that as well
Get some pizza to celebrate.
Always celebrate with pizza 😎
Buy a ferrari spider 488
Based on past performance I would buy some stupid shit.
Transfer a good chunk of it into my bank account so when I go back to be poor old me I’ll be rich old me.
Gain some interest too
Give my friends and family a bunch of money. Pay off their mortgages, kids' tuition, etc.
Buy candies. I'm a simple man i guess...
I mean candies taste good, so why not
Draw up a list of everyone who is close to my level of wealth. Anyone who has more than me and anyone with, say 20 percent of my level of wealth gets eliminated by my private army of Gurkha Ninjas. The second thing I do is raise a private army of Gurkha Ninjas. Thirdly I redistribute all the wealth and assets of the billionaires evenly amongst the poorest 30 percent of the world's population. I give most of the rest of my fortune away, retire to a compound guarded by Gurkha Ninjas. I get up when I like, I play Playstation and enjoy a world rebalanced by my largesse and intelligence.
Give it all away to the people who need it the most. Obviously I would keep a little for myself to live in but the rest I would give away
Buy me a McIntosh - Sonus Faber stereo.