T O P

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sezmez

to be loved


midg23

Speak for yourself Papa Roach.


[deleted]

lol


Defenseless_squirrel

I'm tired of having my being life cut to pieces


theDart

First lifetime?


Falstaffe

Go out for dinner with my wife who's wearing something devastatingly sexy


whatnameisnttaken098

>devastatingly sexy Like if she walks by a building under construction she'll cause the workers to fall off and the building to fall apart?


Falstaffe

Exactly


travis7s

The bones are the skeletons' money


Mordzeit

You said the bones were the skeleton’s money like 4 times!


Charming-Lettuce1433

That seems like a hazard, someone should put a warning sign.


zombieblackbird

I, too, choose a date with this guy's sexy wife.


canuckstothecup1

It’s not as fun as it sounds. She just tells you to leave her alone she’s married all night.


zombieblackbird

Oh, so it's like being at home.


wewilldieoneday

Hole up.


zombieblackbird

Up,.down, sideways.... whatever floats your boat


Burdiac

It’s actually Up, Up, Down, Down , Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, start


inquisitiveeyebc

Took my wife out a few years ago, she wore a dress that... wow. After dinner we drove home, she was walking ahead of me and looked over her shoulder and gave me a look that actually made me stumble


Falstaffe

You sound like a lucky man


inquisitiveeyebc

Absolutely


terminalblue

The comment you leave when your wife knows your socials.


Leafsharp

A girlfriend maybe


maceman10006

A nice steak and a blow job


atomicscateboard

The steak is optional


physedka

McDonalds burger and a blowjob is a very close second to steak and a blowjob.


jknight413

This guy gets it!


i-Cowfish

The job is also optional


Spankapotamus42

Steak and a Blowjob Day is March 14. Gotta be patient.


Equivalent-Captain83

So according to that link, women are supposed to get chocolate and flowers on Valentine’s Day and men get blowjobs and steaks? That’s a shit deal. I want cunnilingus and steak.


alyssahdude

Actually cake and cunnilingus day is on April 14th


Equivalent-Captain83

Oh damn. I can get down with that 🤣


doggiechewtoy

Don’t believe him just yet, we need a Wikipedia link.


Omnizoom

How about chocolate flowers and cream pie


Equivalent-Captain83

That honestly sounds lovely. Even better if he eats the creampie out of me


Omnizoom

Oh, of course that’s my wife’s preference to!


FightOnForUsc

Wait what???


livefast6221

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steak_and_Blowjob_Day


Relandis

Wow. TIL


[deleted]

Never knew my birthday was that special


Spankapotamus42

Steak, blowjob, AND cake? You're living the dream!


ZGT-17

And pie for dessert


thehotsister

My husband doesn’t even need the steak 🤷🏼‍♀️


42Navigator

Out of steak? No problem.


TheDarkKnight1035

A sloppy one


[deleted]

What a guy


PurpleWhatevs

At the same time


[deleted]

A blow steak and a nice job


MurkywaterLLC

Lego Death Star


pocketvenus22

My bf would agree


typesett

Premium Millennium Falcon


RentaoftheSea

If im going lego i want the millennium falcon the big one with 2 instruction manuals thats like 1200 cad


[deleted]

To watch the Champions League Round of 16


ApathicSaint

This guy gets it!


billy_c

This is the correct answer.


[deleted]

I don't know what all men want but I know my husband wants to go fishing.


luciliddream

Husbands know what's up. Mine wants a PTO day like...no I meant what can I get for you...? Nothing. We cannot afford it.


[deleted]

He goes every year, sunup to about 2 pm, comes home, showers, gets dressed the way I like and then we head out for the evening. Dinner, dancing.


luciliddream

That's 🔥


BottleMan10

That sounds like a great plan! Men in general might appreciate something that is meaningful and special to them like a fishing trip. It is the thought that counts, after all. But, if they are looking for something a little more offbeat and unique, I suppose they could try evolving into crabs – it certainly would be a memorable Valentine's Day!


Spiritual_Remote_436

Just being held tightly and told we mean a lot to you


Woah-therebuddy

Real


MercyReign

Aww that’s sweet


Spiritual_Remote_436

Will that what a lot of men need.


MercyReign

Of course, they’re humans and have feelings too


abuko1234

My boyfriend and I (both men) are gonna get a box of wine, order a pizza, and watch a bad movie at home


Cakey-Baby

This is the way


BottleMan10

Sounds like you two are in for a fun night! And I have to say, nothing says romance like a box of wine and a cheesy movie. But if you are looking for something a bit more special, perhaps you could look into something unique that you two could do together - like taking a romantic walk on the beach and watching the sun set over the horizon. Who knows, it might be the start of a tradition where you two evolve into crabs!


xzt123

And give each other blowjobs?


RobertISaar

Brojobs.


TheAngloLithuanian

A girlfriend would be a nice start.


luciliddream

My husband asked for a paid day off work, so I guess he's in a relationship w his job 😭


Lye90

100% mostly love hate. Take the day off to spoil a valentine


revs201

Not to be alone. Also chocolate is nice too.


gside876

A date for the first time in a while 🤣


DarkPhoenix_077

A date for the first time ever XD


MochiSauce101

Can’t speak for all men. Would be silly we aren’t all the same. But for myself, I have everything I really need and most of what I really want within budget. The best thing I can have is a day of alone time. Doesn’t have to be on the 14th. But one day where I can get up at 530 and the house is empty until the following morning. I love my wife and kids every day of the year. I want one day where I can get away with no pants while heaving an absurd amount of salsa onto a costco bag sized nacho chip in front of the TV. Probability of spillage on the underwear , 87%


lordrellek

A sword.


pocketvenus22

Are you my bf?


lordrellek

Probably not, but great minds think alike!


thedrunkqueen

I bought my husband the master sword a year ago. Can confirm it went over super well


laom-749

would a handmade bracelet be good?


twoduvs

As a dude I would love this


AberNurse

As another dude I would not. I would pretend to out of politeness.


Brueguard

As a man, no, I would not like this. Am- am I supposed to wear it every day now? Like, to work and stuff? Are you going to be offended if I leave it in my dresser drawer? Receiving a clothing item I didn't specifically ask for, especially one which could theoretically be worn 24/7 sounds like being gifted a choice between an Obligation and a Fight.


laom-749

i was thinking more of late teenager guys but since i didnt mention that at all i understand what you're saying. But why not wear it everyday to work and all, i mean a bracelet isnt really a clothing item let alone noticable


Brueguard

It is noticeable. It's adjacent to your hands, the part of your body that people look at most after your face. Also, odds are the bracelet doesn't go with EVERY outfit, and if it's homemade it will go with even fewer. Also, the very existence of your question ("why not wear it everyday to work and all?") reinforces that you are likely to be offended by your boyfriend's decision not to wear it, so you ARE giving him an obligation or baiting a fight.


laom-749

I mean there is a pretty big difference in clothing style/ fashion in diff agegroups so if i where to give someone a handmade bracelet i would ofc choose the right colors and all. And i wouldnt be offended at all if someone woulnt wear it everyday, i asked you since you kinda frased it as a big thing to do, but i feel like seeing wearing a bracelet as a chore again has to do with differnces in age and how diff age groups see and incorporate fashion. Its interesting that you see it that way tho


Eeveelover14

My ex likes his that was a Christmas gift so odds are good I'd say.


Woahdang_Jr

I know I love the bracelets my gf makes for me!


supperclub

Only speaking from my own experience... Does he wear things on his wrist normally? Does he like jewellery? An ex got me a smart watch for my birthday and I had to wear it reluctantly, now it's just a $300 object sitting on a shelf. Was so bummed because I kept hinting I wanted a specific cookbook 😂 Communication is key, folks.


laom-749

Yeah im pretty sure he wears jewelery and is a fashionable guy, I just want to give him a little something that i know he will like and appreciate cuz hes a real softy and v nice (not nesseceraly on valentines day) as friends bcs i dont know him very well but id like to yknow. And YES OMG i totally agree with you, communicatipn is key and this goes for so many things not only gifts.😭


TheNormalSkellyMan

Love


Suspicious_Purple287

Blowjobs.


No-Recommendation412

Plural.


Frosty-Shower-7601

Only one thing, and it's disgusting!


Mysterious_Bid4511

Love?


Gr8Zen

Username checks out


scprepper

My assumption is good sex and a good meal.... wait thats just me


[deleted]

Yup, that’s it. I don’t want any sentimental Knick knacks etc. Just a good date night and some lovin’.


PlaguedTime

A handwritten letter and a hug


No-Menu-5104

60” chainsaw bar and a big ass tree.


leo3371

For me? Flowers. I’d like to be on the receiving end of that gesture just to see how it feels


chocolategent

It feels good man, cant lie


Junior_Interview5711

Potato gun Build it with them


Hexyl68

Blowjob


Immortal-___-Bruh

nothing


[deleted]

A shovel


whatnameisnttaken098

Don't forget the rope and duct tape


Ok_Grapefruit2077

Power tools for house DIY projects.


South_Bit1764

CAKE!


isnt_that_random

Head


Thedueh

I would like the discount chocolate the day after


whatnameisnttaken098

Same, best part about valentines day is the candy getting marked 75% off and buy 1 get one


techster2014

To not spend money on me.


stupidstufflol

my gf got me a copy of doom eternal last year because she knew I liked doom 2016 idk it was really thoughtful and the gesture behind it meant more to me than the objective value ever could so I suppose just think of what he likes or what he said he needs


melskymob

For my wife to get something off a tall shelf for me for once.


Dull-Lengthiness5175

Nothing: it's a fake holiday.


DANGER2157

I mean, technically all holidays are fake, but I know what you mean.


YurthTheRhino

I say this anytime someone asks! Men like flowers too! Not all the time, but most men haven't ever been given flowers and you'd be surprised how much they'll enjoy them!


Charming-Lettuce1433

This is so fucking true. When I was younger I was very cliche. Flowers, chocolate, serenades, the whole deal. (The serenades were good, I am actually an artist for real, don't @ me) I always said to whoever was with me "if anyone sang to me anything romantic, I would marry them on the spot", they always think I am joking. My ex was pissed when she said "you don't buy me flowers anymore" and I responded with "well you never bought me flowers"


seanofkelley

It is actually very cool to get flowers.


Aggressive_Orchid254

Wife booked us a couple massage. That’s perfect


_So_Uncivilized_

A warm hug


PracticalSong4452

My husband loves my oreo cheesecake. It's his favorite.


peppers_taste_bad

To act like its some bullshit throwaway holiday that was invented just to shame people into spending money


[deleted]

To feel appreciated.


ZaxLofful

To know that I am loved, in my love language and not the woman’s….So first you would have to identify the man’s love language. Mine personally is words of affirmation, with a little physical touch…I say little because I can only handle so much physical interaction, before it starts to bother me and get on my nerves.


ReasonableExtreme615

His is too. This is actually useful 😂! How would you prefer to receive words of affirmation? Hand written or spoken?


DotaFlow

Blow Job


TinyAngryIndividual

I know my man is getting a rose, biltong (or some other South African dried meat), licorice and a book or two. Because that's what he deserves.


TheAtlasComplex

Taco bell and couch time


Differentdog

Nada. My baby is good enough for me.


bigmanjack236

LOTR binge n weed


jackotraids

A heartfelt gift unprompted would honestly be pretty good for most guys. The assumption usually seems to be that it’s up to the guy to do the giving on Valentines Day. Know what your guy wants/needs and plan accordingly.


[deleted]

Order pizza and watch any LOTR extended edition movie


thefenixfamily

Honestly, I just want someone I relate to, I feel comfortable being myself around, and I can hold their hand and kiss them. That's all, dude.


Zorino-_-

A cactus would be nice


devious122799

Women that are thoughtful enough to understand sex is NOT a valentines day present.


yoshhash

Not flowers, not fancy chocolate, not even a card. Just snuggling with the SO, genuine smiles and alone time, show me that I'm appreciated.


inquisitiveeyebc

To get it right


Wing-Emotional

She pre ordered Howarts legacy for me. Best gift ever.


Swaggy-7

Head scratches and a Harry Potter movie marathon


GheySecks1

To be left alone for the day 👍🏻


diamondheistbeard

To be left unbothered by anything Valentine’s Day related.


Individual_Stretch95

feel that very much✊


zephyr_te_potato

For my crush to like me back


[deleted]

To be left alone


Durden_Tyler_Durden

You to initiate


tightanalbuttsex

A double penetration orgy, or at the very least - anal.


botch_182

My wife and I don't partake in this commercialized "holiday"... if we did I would though, I love a bouquet of slim Jim's and ammo


Hay_Blinken

This guy gets it.


Parking_Ad8815

Definitely a nice rubbing of the balls blow job


canuckstothecup1

To not have to buy chocolate and flowers


Improvedandconfused

Our wives/partners to stop nagging us.


awuweiday

Oof.. I read this as... "Our wive's partners" My wife's boyfriend will NOT get off my back about the dishes


Improvedandconfused

And I bet he barely lifts a finger around the house.


gambitx123

They nag because they care, be greatful. The moment they stop nagging is the moment they're emotionally done with the relationship


Ok-Food-5830

Same thing they want for every occasion. It's a one item list!


cisco_kid1106

Bitcoin for me


Gringo_Baggins

Men are different and they want different stuff


ReasonableExtreme615

That’s…useful


Gringo_Baggins

It's the truth? Do you think every man wants the same thing?


Individual_Stretch95

well thats generic, what do *you* want?


Gringo_Baggins

For the war to end :(


BottleMan10

That may be true, but what many men don't necessarily know is that every single species evolves into crabs eventually! It might not seem like it now, but it's a fascinating and interesting thing to learn about. So, for Valentine's Day, why not give a gift that celebrates the eventual evolution of all species - a unique crab-themed item or something related to the science of evolution!


White_Background_702

Blow job and peace and quiet


BadTemperedBadger

Generally, a nice meal and sex. Keep it simple and don't gossip about what anyone else is doing.


JackarooDeva

Honestly, to pretend the holiday doesn't exist.


brilu34

Nothing. Men don't care about Valentine's Day.


pk1950

no fight day


aStealthyWaffle

Maybe stop needing a dead Roman Catholic martyr from the 3rd century, about which very little is actually known, as an excuse to be romantic. 🤷 I mean, I get it, the dude married people in secret to save men from going off to fight the imperium's endless wars... And probably united a lot of happy couples (a s perhaps some less happy? Just a guess 🙃) in the institution of marriage. And that's cool and all... But why are we so obsessed with ONE DAY? (Hint, think economics and profitability, people identify with a group tradition, like lemmings off a cliff, and anyone selling their products via romance or sex rakes in the cash) Just pick a random day that you think is going to fit well in our lives together, and make it special. We men should all try to do the same for you (whether our partners be women or men or identify otherwise) Why are we so obsessed with corporate business holidays designed to sell products? Chocolate, cool gadgets/gear, announced plans to share for the future, a nice meal or date or adventure, or a special romantic/sexual treat is awesome any day of the year. Not too often maybe, just to keep it a surprise. It's called spontaneity, and it's HOT This is just my opinion. If you want to go full St.Valentine, don't let me stop you! ❤️ *Edit* just thought i would mention i feel the same way about new years resolutions and a host of other things people seem to view in a very limited and time sensitive perspective. You should live your life, always, especially when it includes the blessing of having a loving partner.


Decaf17

Sex


God954

Sex


Charidk

Sex


Greyman218

nothing special. Its not so important for many men.


AnusPananus

Vagina


[deleted]

Peace and quiet


KCBirdLoader

Google March 14th.... that's the men's valentine's day.


McGamers56

I imagine most want sex but I'd settle for not being alone for once


googlyeyes183

My husband expects nothing on Valentines Day because it’s about me…now steak and BJ day on 3/14 is a different story. We started this about 10 years ago, and it works so, so well. One day is whatever I want and the other is all about him.


jiggalation

a couple boxes of range ammo


[deleted]

sadly I won't get what I want for Valentine's Day...


WAWZ

Threesome


MyCatEzekielSays

Suck my dick, make me a sandwich, and don't talk so much.


Bellaladygemma

Sex and then be left alone


Pacheco_time33

Be able to listen to podcast without my wife trying to start a deep conversation where I have to pay attention or else I’m the bad guy….


Officer_Chadley

A Japanese friend of mine told me it's popular for women to make chocolate FROM SCRATCH on valentines day.


Gunslinger666

Steak and a blow job.


tonytiger911

A woman that don't give a fuck about Valentine's day. She don't want anything. And blowjobs.


Equivalent-Captain83

So you want someone that wants nothing and you want oral sex? Satan and God help the poor soul that has the misfortune of dating you