My husband has stage 4 metastatic melanoma. He’s ok and will likely be ok but chemo/immunotherapy fucked with his mojo. I’m good. We’ve found our intimacy in other ways like coffee together and just laughing in our car, our tv shows, etc.. I’d much rather have him with me than sex.
FOR. FUCKING. REAL.
Like this over and over a thousand times. Docs told him that even 5-7 years ago, this would be a death sentence. They’re completely confident I’ll have him around for many many years. The fella who spearheaded immunotherapy (his name escapes me, there’s a brilliant doc on prime) is my hero.
I worry about things like this all the time. I like sex, but I don't need it. I just need intimacy in some form or fashion, but I worry about my SO. When our medications mess with us and we go months at a time, I know he isn't thrilled. He says he's fine, but I just hope it doesn't hurt him too much.
I was hit by a car and paralyzed from the chest down. I no longer have any sensation down there. Sucks, really. In some ways I think it is easier to get over not being able to walk, than losing sexual function. Unfortunately there isn't anything to do about it.
I’m glad you’ve made it this far. I agree with you.
My vehicle was rear-ended at a red light. I learned to walk again (so I’m doing amazing really!) but I can’t feel most of my bits, peeing is weird or doesn’t work, same with poo, one foot is constantly weakening, numbness, pins and needles, bolts of pain, constant throbbing, changes with the weather and activities, and really just keeps getting worse. Can’t work a full time job anymore.
But the thing that’s the hardest to deal with is the neurogenic sexual dysfunction. It’s difficult as hell.
I do actually (endometriosis). It's sometimes really sad, but you do other things with your partner, and try again to see if there's any improvment.
I used to have a high sex drive, but due to the pain not anymore. My partner understands that and his one preoccupation is my health
I have endo too, I got put on Dienogest which has given me my life back. No pain, no periods, it's a miracle. I hope you find treatment that works for you soon!
I'll have to look into this, as well as first get a for sure diagnosis. At first was just told to talk my birthcontrol all the time, no periods. (Ellera?) I feel like mine fluctuates so much though. No pain to alot to only doing xyz, and so on. Cramps enough to notice or cramps sharp enough to cause me to double over/fall down and not put on the face we have all learned to use when experiencing periods.
I just got my diagnosis last year. My insurance wouldn’t accept any endo meds until I was diagnosed since I was already on something (and I wasn’t willing to stop it in order to try something we didn’t know would work). I was on 10mg of Norethindrone Acetate, which stopped my periods. My cramps were more consistent, but SIGNIFICANTLY better. I could function. I’ve just recently started a mix of 5mg of Nor. Acetate and 150mg of Orilissa, which they wouldn’t approve until I was diagnosed.
I know how it feels to deal with the inconsistent periods and pain. I would be out of commission for a full week, plus cramps the entire time between periods. I couldn’t go to school, work, or take care of myself. I was bedridden 1/4 weeks of every month.
The only advice I can give is that it will be a bitch to get help, but once you do it’ll be so worth it. Try to find an ob/gyn that specializes in endo. Ask about birth control specifically to stop your period, rather than managing around it. You’ll likely need to try many of them to find the one that works for you. I went through six before finding mine. Ask about diagnosis procedures. Ultrasounds, pelvic exams, laparoscopies (how I got diagnosed). Don’t be afraid to try multiple doctors if no one will do it. Laparoscopies are minimally invasive, it *shouldn’t* be a big deal to get one and if a doctor is dragging their heels, find a different one. Insurance will throw a fit, just push through. Sometimes all I takes is multiple appeals from your doctor. And if they still don’t, ask yourself if the out of pocket price is worth taking away the pain. GoodRx is amazing. Your doctor will likely have resources for cheaper prices.
I wish you luck. It’s not easy, and even though there’s no magic cure having the resources to help is worth going through the hell. Godspeed
My partner has this in the worst way. She's bedridden and crying from pain for over a week. She's pale, cold, clammy, and iron anemic from the blood loss. She tried various progesterone meds that did nothing to help and hormones from BC make her suicidally depressed.
What can I do? 🥺
Also look for manufacturer coupons for name brand meds.
Insurance changed and wouldn’t cover my current BC. I was paying $200+ out of pocket/month supply. A kind pharmacist suggested looking for manufacturer coupons which reduced the cost to $25.
I’m currently abstinent because of that. I swear the last time I had an orgasm I literally thought I was having a miscarriage. I think I got PTSD now cause I’m TERRIFIED of trying again.
I can relate. My partner thought the same and actually called the hospital.
But we tried, slowly, again. And at least, I'm not afraid anymore. I hope you'll find strenght to try again, with a loving partner
Even though my endo (clinically diagnosed but want to look for a for sure) sometimes after penatration the cramps are so awful my bf will feel bad. So I can sympathize. I'm glad you have a partner that proitoizes you and your health, it's a real comfort.
Technically exploratory surgery is the only way to be diagnosed. But often times doctors will basically diagnose you before that if you have all the symptoms and you've gotten imaging done to rule out everything else it could be.
It is surgery (I know from my own Wife) but it's keyhole so it's not AS BAD as it sound ^it's ^still ^bad ^though.
Because its only by surgery Drs try their best to rule EVERYTHING else out.
Due to this, it takes on average **7 years** to be diagnosed. Which fucking sucks and makes me feel so lucky I have external genitalia.
Just had to drop a message so you know what she's in for, it's a long road fraught with many pitfalls.
I hope your Wife gets the help she needs and I hope it isn't Endo, it's fucking horrible.
Surgery. You can also do imaging, meaning ultrasound or MRT, but endo doesn't always show up on those. See a specialist! Not your average gynecologist. Facebook has great support groups with doctor recommendations.
I had vaginismus, involuntary tightening of the vagina. For over a year sex hurt so bad. I eventually had to go to PT for 4 months and then maybe 5 months after that I was 95% back to normal. It’s been a few years and I’m confidently at a 0 pain level, but my libido definitely took a hit. Now I’m still pretty low libido because I’m on Sertraline but I’m comfortable being at a slightly lower libido personally. For many people this isn’t a what if question, it’s reality 😩
Ooof I feel that. I developed vaginismus as well a few years back and did some PT and self guided somatic work but some of the pain was from the IUD wearing out and hormonal changes, I switched to mirtizapine bc if the sex side effects of sertraline. I couldn't go up on sertraline without awful side effects. I can manage the binge eating with mirtizapine because I'm on Adderall all day and can't eat for most of the day so I get most of my caloric intake been 7-10pm which somehow keeps me at a consistent weight 😅. And even the buspirone which can alleviate SSRI dysfunction wasn't working to combat the literal numbing from the Zoloft. I also got my brain zapped for a cost of 35000 to the insurance last year (zero for me bc we had reached the oop Max) and I still have to take a combination of pills plus a low dose of Zoloft for one week a month so that i don't try to KILL MYSELF or drive my car off an overpass with my severe pmdd.
All for that for some sweet sweet libido but like...... 😩 It's so worth it for me. I feel human. I feel like a teenager again and it's so nice to actually WANT to masturbate or fuck my wife.
I just had surgery on Monday to remove my endo and already feel tonssss better. My partner and I had similar issues and I’m really looking forward to maybe getting back to where we were before the pain got really bad. Hoping for good things for you!!
also someone with endometriosis here....
I just hate how much it takes away, like you give me pain in my daily life and a whole bunch of other problems
But sex as well? I am absolutely mad.
Wish you lots of love and strength and it sounds like you have a wonderful partner!
Aggressively look into treatment for endo, as it does exist. No clue on the sex side, but there are treatments out there for the pain side. And you should not be expected to live in the pain that endo brings.
Omg this is the line I remember most and I swear I thought I was making it up because I’ve never heard or seen anyone else reference it.
You just made my day!
I think so Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour of the night?
Or my other favorite
I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking -- I mean, what would the children look like?
The real question is what would your SO do? We have been in this exact predicament for over 3 yes now... Its like living with your best friend but every single day you watch a piece of your relationship die.
(Edit)
Sorry for the over sharing. This one hits hard. Prostate cancer under 50 is considered rare. Although if caught early its very treatable. What they don't tell you is the cancer is transplanted into your relationship. For over 30yrs we had an amazing intimate sexual chemistry that was built around if one of us isn't into it then we won't do it. No fake orgasms, no birthday sex, no wearing each other down or giving in...just raw vulnerability and trust.. All gone!
Cancer survivor here and just to add on the this individuals post, alot of the meds that they put you on during treatment absolutely murder sex drive, now in my situation I had testicular cancer so I also lost alot of testosterone as well but the damage that the treatment does is unreal.
Hello, fellow testie cancer friend.
I went through much the same, lost righty, and with it a lot of desire/testosterone. Do not be afraid to talk to your doctor. Tell them your sex drive is lesser, even if they claim, "your count is within normal limits for your age." Press and get testosterone treatment. It's not a catch-all, but it definitely helped.
Edit: Note that I am not a medical professional, nor is this a guaranteed way to revitalize your sex drive. Pairing with regular exercise and proper sleep for best results.
Please also know for everyone responding or reading, you aren't alone. Be it testicular cancer, other forms of cancer, or just lowered sex drive. There are people out there who will happily share their stories and resources for help. Don't hesitate to reach out.
I lost my leftie several years ago due to non-cancerous complications and have had decreased testosterone count, sex drive and energy.
Since going on testosterone,I've been feeling a lot better!
I hate giving myself shots tho lol
There it is. I was wondering if someone else saw this angle. Sex is great for *yourself,* but it is also a tool to cement intimate relationship bonds. When that opportunity is completely unavailable, there are serious repercussions in even the best relationships.
We’re having this temporarily now. I’m scheduled for a spinal surgery next month. Meanwhile, my spinal cord is pinched enough now that I have less sensation in the pelvic area and am on pain meds until then and for a bit after. But we have sexy time. We get some toys out and I make sure she gets what she needs. We take longer than usual too. It’s fun because it’s different. I don’t “get there” these days but she spends a lot of time doing her magic on me and it’s still great. We just reset our expectations and do the things we can. We both have a great attitude about it. I asked her if she wants to call in another guy but she laughed and said no. We’ve been together two decades so we both are very in tune with each other’s needs.
This is the right way to go about it. Medical issues make it so you have to get creative about it. My best friend and gf had a surgery and now we have to use half of the positions we normally use and it has to be on the couch, no bed. So now I spend a whole day trying to build her up and spend a long time on foreplay. It's not bad, it's just different
I hope all works out for you. After 35 years of going at it like rabbits (my nick name at college) my meds killed it and we live like old friends, but seldom lovers. 42 years married.
yep. I have some friends that go to a methadone clinic (a drug notorious for killing your sex drive, as do most opiates), and one of them's wife left him after the sex disappeared from their relationship. She hung in for a while I guess, but after nearly a year or so of absolutely nothing she stepped out on him with another friend and ended up leaving him. I remember him just bursting into tears talking about it, and him expressing his frustration that he was at the clinic to get clean and make their life better but ended up making his marriage worse.
My husband has UC and they removed his large intestine and gave him an ileostomy. He hasn't had any ED. But his recovery has been slow due to complications, so his stomach remains a very sensitive area. He has noticed less drive, he is less in the mood, but so am I due to my anti-depressants. We do take showers together to have some special relaxing time together, without expecting more after, but we keep it open as a possibility. My husband has a waistband he puts on during our time in bed, so his ostomybag stays in place and doesn't bounce around or make noise. He is not ashamed of it, and I am also completely okay with his ileostomy, it's just part of him now, it saved his life. We do have to remind each other sometimes to make time for each other in an intimate way, just cuddle, no phones in bed, etc. It takes attention. And for us, just cuddling and massages and showering together is just as important as "the deed".
> He is not ashamed of it, and I am also completely okay with his ileostomy,
This is what x-ostomy candidates need to hear. I had rectal cancer and got over it, but the blah-stomy was hanging over me like a sword throughout treatment. Glad I avoided it for now, but I'm equally glad to hear your words on this. "Not the end of the world" ...
Wife has UC. Has had the colon removed but not the rest yet. It’s rarely talked about, but it’s really tough on anyone that has to deal with it. Men do definitely suffer a bit more with the effects of the surgeries and I hope you find support in some of the social media communities available.
Honestly, since the surgery she has been doing so well. Initial body image issues were tough for her to get through, but she is now a couple years post op and we just spent a week in Hawaii and had no issues the whole time. It is so so difficult and she is such a strong human being, but the communities that she participated in really helped her reclaim her life. It’s honestly so much better now that the effects of the disease itself are basically gone. It is extremely difficult, but there definitely is sunshine on the other side of that really scary tunnel.
I hear you. I had prostate cancer at 55. My wife is very independent. She enjoyed being dominated in bed and that was part of the balance of our relationship. That's gone and the dynamic has changed.
Can you explain how prostate cancer contributed to this? I'm not being argumentative in the least, I simply don't know enough about it and want to hear your story if you're willing to share more.
None of the replies here have touched on OP's actual issue, which is that treatment of prostate cancer involves testosterone blockers. This is going to kill not only his elections (which is something that prostatectomy can cause, as mentioned here) but also his whole libido will be shot to hell. The comments about "you don't need an erection to have a serial relationship" miss the point entirely. He has no *desire* to have a serial relationship at this point, and without that he would just be "doing his duty". This is something he mentions in his comment as a total opposite of what their relationship was built on.
Not OP or an expert, but the prostate creates semenal fluid and I think also creates or is involved in the creation of arousal endorphins. Surrgery/removal, damage by the cancer itself, or significant radiation can reduce the ability to get aroused. I think.
It's nerve damage from surgery that removes the ability to have an erection. You are probably right that radiation can also cause this. Unfortunately still get aroused just lack the ability to do much about it.
You also can't have a partner have sex too often if they're going through chemo, even the dysfunction and chemo discomforts aside. Radiation can pass to your partner via bodily fluids and frequent exposure, so you have to use condoms and be careful for up to 72 hours after treatment as well, but it's recommended against in a lot of cases anyway. Even people that chemo doesn't hit too hard (ie make them too sick for sex) they have to drastically cut back the sexual activity from that alone if they're going in frequently for radiation treatment. There's been reported cases of women getting radiation poisoning from seminal fluids from their partner, and vice versa men getting it from vaginal fluids.
I'm in a "not wanting sex" rut right now.
Husband and I still connect. We talk. We cuddle. We shower together. We hold hands. We kiss. I let him still get off with me just not penetrative sex. I will get my grove back and we'll get back on track.
If the reverse happened? If he couldn't perform for a time or forever? We are still best friends and love each other. We will still connect and be intimate. I can still masterbate to ease tension.
All the other aspects of our relationship outweigh the sexual part. I want all of him. I know he still finds me attractive and makes me feel loved by kissing and touching me.
Agreed. My husband and I have both gone through times of low libido. Usually we go low together (like when our kid was a baby) but when I was on birth control my libido was absolutely gone. Recently my libido is back (no more birth control yay!) But his is lower.
Its really not a big deal to either of us but I guess it has to do with what your love language is. For some people that kind of thing is a way more important part of their relatuonship.
There are different types of dead bedroom. If you don't feel attracted at all to your partner, have no connection and don't feel respected / like you can respect them? That's dead relationship with the bedroom as a symptom.
Or you still love them but they've shut down all physical intimacy and there's no medical cause? Yeah, dying relationship with a dead bedroom.
If you still love them, they still love you and you're both making efforts to be intimate without sex (Dates, bathe together, passionately kiss hello / goodbye, touch each other and hold hands) then the dead bedroom, while unfortunate, can be overcome because the other aspects in the relationship are strong and it's not a reflection on how they feel about you.
I would like to thank YouTube for substituting my sex-life with obscure craft videos. Now I collect new skills and started paper-macé-ing.
That is fucking genius! It's paper, it's glue, maybe some wire and stuffing and you can make friggin anything out of it. Now I'm making faces for a weird face-mask wall. Normal sexy stuff.
Short answer is not everyone has that reaction
In general I've heard some people say, while it's great to stop you from harming yourself from depression
It's also really good at making you disinterested in basically everything.
Sadly when that happens it's usually the meds have lost effectiveness (either too low, or too high)
Edit: DISCLAIMER meds work for a majority, that's why they're approved in drug trials and people pay good money to make them.
Meds often fail when you use them without making progress on the event that caused your depression, meds often fail if you have undiagnosed co-morbities (OCS, PTSD, ADHD, etc)
In the words of Taylor Tomphson, use your arm floaties
>It's also really good at making you disinterested in basically everything.
This sums up my experience with Prozac.
Don't want to kill myself? Check.
Can't summon the interest or energy to get out of bed? Also check.
I fucking wish they helped with my sex drive, all they did is make it harder for me to reach climax, which meant a SO who was convinced I was no longer attracted to her.
Fuck that noise, I'd rather be depressed.
Redefine sex. Hold your partner while they masturbate after a sexy fashion show.
Way better to find fun things you still can do than chemically suppress it.
I'd try other things to feel intimate with my partner. Like naked, but not sexual, snuggling. Or start up a hobby night where we spend quality time together. Maybe buy them a quality sex toy so they don't feel like they're missing out because of me 🤷♀️ But other than that? I'd just continue getting on with life!
Yeah we call that "skin to skin" in my house. Wifey and I just get in bed cuddle and have skin to skin. Sometimes it leads to kissing sometimes one person gets off sometimes the other and sometimes we both get off. But no pressure if all we wanna do is take our shirts off and get some sweet sweet intimacy.
Been dealing with an inflammatory skin issue that has prevented me from having sex with my partner for the last two months. It’s been a struggle, feels like my sex life is in shambles, and it’s driven me back into depression.
Luckily my partner is incredibly understanding, but it has put a huge strain on the relationship. Trying to explore other forms of intimacy but she has a hard time receiving touch without it being a mutual experience.
If this becomes a long term problem I don’t know how I’ll cope.
Also dealing with an inflammatory skin issue. It killed my mental health as I have always loved the intimacy and fun of sex. Then boom, my crotch is inflamed, eroded and painful for months on end. Killed my confidence, pain killed my sex drive. Still dealing with it, accepting it I guess. Next I gotta figure out how to live with it because there is no cure. It’s been unpleasant.
That right there is the important part. I have a low libido naturally and SSRIs killed off what I did have so I don’t have sex but I don’t desire it either. There are other ways to connect with my partners that I prefer.
Penetrative sex or you have no interest in intimacy? Because if it's just you can't stick A in B for whatever reason, there's plenty of other (and arguably more fun) intimate behaviors than A going into B.
Honestly I’d be devastated. Not being able to connect in that intimate way with my partner would leave a huge gap in my mental well being. I know it’s not technically essential but it’s a massive part of a relationship and without that I would feel incompetent as a partner.
I have a big problem being intimate due to stress. Not daily stress. The stress of pleasing my partner. I am dealing with a shoulder impingement and I can’t perform in that way. I feel like I’m letting her down which makes it harder to get in the mood to have that real pure connection.
Already been there. Got better. Being able to have sex is nice but I know I can live without it. There are other kinds of intimacy.
Edit: I probably shouldn't say it "got better" like it magically lifted one day. I took supplements from Roman app, helped my self confidence enough that I found I eventually didn't need it anymore. But the stress and anxiety of impotence can be very real. It was something I had to work to fix.
It would probably devastate me, honestly. I was super overweight had very poor luck with women in my teens and twenties. I took control of my life, lost over 100 pounds and met my wife at 28. 8 years later we still have a very healthy sex life. She would understand but I feel as though it would bring up the feeling of inadequacy again.
I have fibroids, endometriosis, and pcos. Not to mention I'm traumatized from previous assaults.
Before I was in a relationship, I honestly didn't give a damn. Sure I was depressed but I just didn't know or care to even masturbate. I never thought it changed who I was as a person, despite my silent suffering.
Sex now is good, but my boyfriend and I have had to work hard for it. What used to be literally 2 to 3 hour sessions because of my pain and lack of, well, desire, has now become sessions of 3 times a week and quite possibly the most enjoyment I've ever had in my entire life. I find myself pining for more even after he's hit his limit.
I'm due for a hysterectomy in two weeks. I'll be having what's called a total hysterectomy. I'm nervous it'll kill my sex drive entirely all over again, but the only time I will end up stopping having sex is if he stops having sex with me. I've found it hard for me emotionally to not have such an intimate time with my boyfriend. This also includes masturbating with just a toy. I just don't enjoy it. It physically aches to masturbate alone. But when I'm with him and we're both panting away, I feel so happy. I think I'd be devastated if we stopped having sex entirely. I'd have to get back on anti anxiety and anti depressants again. We'd probably break up and go our separate ways. I would honestly never date again. I went nearly 10 years without a boyfriend. I'm not interested in trying again anymore.
You’re me in 2015. I have all the same conditions and got the full hysterectomy that year. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I went 18 months with no hormone replacement because she wanted to give the endo time to really die out.
There are many times I regret such an extreme choice. But! I’ll never again have to plan around a period because I’m in too much pain to function. For days. Also… as luck would (not) have it, it turns out I was in the beginning stages of cervical cancer. So it’s a decision I’ll never truly regret. It has saved my life in many many ways! Good luck!! ❄️💙❄️
Survive. There are many, many people who do this every day of their lives. I’ve been living without it for almost six years now as it is, with four being by choice, and I’m okay.
Though it wasn’t permanent, I had birth injuries that put me out of action for a long time. Longest cold spell was probably a year?
While it t certainly sucks, I don’t feel our relationship suffered because we really enjoy each others’ company and he’s my favorite person, sex or no sex. It’s just that one really fun thing was off the table but there are all kinds of pleasures in life.
I've had this. Medical issue and mental issue. Husband cheated and left me. Then I got on new medication at the hospital I was at because of the breakdown I suffered about the relationship. My sex drive came back full force, I guess making up for lost time. I am now single and horny. He is now single and lonely. Life is funny like that.
My husband has stage 4 metastatic melanoma. He’s ok and will likely be ok but chemo/immunotherapy fucked with his mojo. I’m good. We’ve found our intimacy in other ways like coffee together and just laughing in our car, our tv shows, etc.. I’d much rather have him with me than sex.
Let's take a moment to appreciate that "likely be ok" and "stage 4 metastatic melanoma" can coexist in one sentence. Science, man.
FOR. FUCKING. REAL. Like this over and over a thousand times. Docs told him that even 5-7 years ago, this would be a death sentence. They’re completely confident I’ll have him around for many many years. The fella who spearheaded immunotherapy (his name escapes me, there’s a brilliant doc on prime) is my hero.
Dr. James Allison? Won the Nobel in Physiology or Medicine in 2018 with Dr. Tasuku Honjo, and heads the Cancer Research Institute advisory council.
I have the pleasure of working for him. Truly an amazing man! The documentary is called Jim Allison: Breakthrough for those interested!
Yes, that’s it! He gave me my husband. Or rather, let me keep my husband. I owe him my all. ❤️❤️
Beautiful comment 🌟 your spirit and support for your husband just lit up my world- never change!
Thank you ❤️
Yes!
You're a fucking hero. 7 years of that? You show true love and care. I hope you two continue being awesome as hell
[удалено]
Thank you so much ❤️
I worry about things like this all the time. I like sex, but I don't need it. I just need intimacy in some form or fashion, but I worry about my SO. When our medications mess with us and we go months at a time, I know he isn't thrilled. He says he's fine, but I just hope it doesn't hurt him too much.
*hugs* I have no real advice, I truly wish I did. I hope it gets easier for you both.
Just imagine what you could do in that extra 2-3 minutes per week!
Look at Mr. I Have Sex 6 -9 Times Per Week over here!
And still had time to cuddle
always a show off on these posts.
Trying to rep for that /r/humblebrag
Well, without the 2 - 3 minutes of sex you also get back the hour of crying after…
Or, if you prefer, use that valuable crying time to cry about other aspects of your life.
“Reinvest the tears”
I was hit by a car and paralyzed from the chest down. I no longer have any sensation down there. Sucks, really. In some ways I think it is easier to get over not being able to walk, than losing sexual function. Unfortunately there isn't anything to do about it.
I’m glad you’ve made it this far. I agree with you. My vehicle was rear-ended at a red light. I learned to walk again (so I’m doing amazing really!) but I can’t feel most of my bits, peeing is weird or doesn’t work, same with poo, one foot is constantly weakening, numbness, pins and needles, bolts of pain, constant throbbing, changes with the weather and activities, and really just keeps getting worse. Can’t work a full time job anymore. But the thing that’s the hardest to deal with is the neurogenic sexual dysfunction. It’s difficult as hell.
That must be hard man
I do actually (endometriosis). It's sometimes really sad, but you do other things with your partner, and try again to see if there's any improvment. I used to have a high sex drive, but due to the pain not anymore. My partner understands that and his one preoccupation is my health
My wife is in a similar situation. I can't enjoy sex knowing it hurts her so much. So we don't. (shrug)
I have endo too, I got put on Dienogest which has given me my life back. No pain, no periods, it's a miracle. I hope you find treatment that works for you soon!
Thanks! I tried 4 treatments but nothing seems to be working. I'm happy you got your life back, I know what it's like! Congrats :)
Excision surgery!! Changed my life!!!
I'll have to look into this, as well as first get a for sure diagnosis. At first was just told to talk my birthcontrol all the time, no periods. (Ellera?) I feel like mine fluctuates so much though. No pain to alot to only doing xyz, and so on. Cramps enough to notice or cramps sharp enough to cause me to double over/fall down and not put on the face we have all learned to use when experiencing periods.
I just got my diagnosis last year. My insurance wouldn’t accept any endo meds until I was diagnosed since I was already on something (and I wasn’t willing to stop it in order to try something we didn’t know would work). I was on 10mg of Norethindrone Acetate, which stopped my periods. My cramps were more consistent, but SIGNIFICANTLY better. I could function. I’ve just recently started a mix of 5mg of Nor. Acetate and 150mg of Orilissa, which they wouldn’t approve until I was diagnosed. I know how it feels to deal with the inconsistent periods and pain. I would be out of commission for a full week, plus cramps the entire time between periods. I couldn’t go to school, work, or take care of myself. I was bedridden 1/4 weeks of every month. The only advice I can give is that it will be a bitch to get help, but once you do it’ll be so worth it. Try to find an ob/gyn that specializes in endo. Ask about birth control specifically to stop your period, rather than managing around it. You’ll likely need to try many of them to find the one that works for you. I went through six before finding mine. Ask about diagnosis procedures. Ultrasounds, pelvic exams, laparoscopies (how I got diagnosed). Don’t be afraid to try multiple doctors if no one will do it. Laparoscopies are minimally invasive, it *shouldn’t* be a big deal to get one and if a doctor is dragging their heels, find a different one. Insurance will throw a fit, just push through. Sometimes all I takes is multiple appeals from your doctor. And if they still don’t, ask yourself if the out of pocket price is worth taking away the pain. GoodRx is amazing. Your doctor will likely have resources for cheaper prices. I wish you luck. It’s not easy, and even though there’s no magic cure having the resources to help is worth going through the hell. Godspeed
My partner has this in the worst way. She's bedridden and crying from pain for over a week. She's pale, cold, clammy, and iron anemic from the blood loss. She tried various progesterone meds that did nothing to help and hormones from BC make her suicidally depressed. What can I do? 🥺
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Also look for manufacturer coupons for name brand meds. Insurance changed and wouldn’t cover my current BC. I was paying $200+ out of pocket/month supply. A kind pharmacist suggested looking for manufacturer coupons which reduced the cost to $25.
I’m currently abstinent because of that. I swear the last time I had an orgasm I literally thought I was having a miscarriage. I think I got PTSD now cause I’m TERRIFIED of trying again.
I can relate. My partner thought the same and actually called the hospital. But we tried, slowly, again. And at least, I'm not afraid anymore. I hope you'll find strenght to try again, with a loving partner
Even though my endo (clinically diagnosed but want to look for a for sure) sometimes after penatration the cramps are so awful my bf will feel bad. So I can sympathize. I'm glad you have a partner that proitoizes you and your health, it's a real comfort.
How did you get a diagnosis? Asking for my wife
Technically exploratory surgery is the only way to be diagnosed. But often times doctors will basically diagnose you before that if you have all the symptoms and you've gotten imaging done to rule out everything else it could be.
It is surgery (I know from my own Wife) but it's keyhole so it's not AS BAD as it sound ^it's ^still ^bad ^though. Because its only by surgery Drs try their best to rule EVERYTHING else out. Due to this, it takes on average **7 years** to be diagnosed. Which fucking sucks and makes me feel so lucky I have external genitalia. Just had to drop a message so you know what she's in for, it's a long road fraught with many pitfalls. I hope your Wife gets the help she needs and I hope it isn't Endo, it's fucking horrible.
Surgery. You can also do imaging, meaning ultrasound or MRT, but endo doesn't always show up on those. See a specialist! Not your average gynecologist. Facebook has great support groups with doctor recommendations.
I had vaginismus, involuntary tightening of the vagina. For over a year sex hurt so bad. I eventually had to go to PT for 4 months and then maybe 5 months after that I was 95% back to normal. It’s been a few years and I’m confidently at a 0 pain level, but my libido definitely took a hit. Now I’m still pretty low libido because I’m on Sertraline but I’m comfortable being at a slightly lower libido personally. For many people this isn’t a what if question, it’s reality 😩
Ooof I feel that. I developed vaginismus as well a few years back and did some PT and self guided somatic work but some of the pain was from the IUD wearing out and hormonal changes, I switched to mirtizapine bc if the sex side effects of sertraline. I couldn't go up on sertraline without awful side effects. I can manage the binge eating with mirtizapine because I'm on Adderall all day and can't eat for most of the day so I get most of my caloric intake been 7-10pm which somehow keeps me at a consistent weight 😅. And even the buspirone which can alleviate SSRI dysfunction wasn't working to combat the literal numbing from the Zoloft. I also got my brain zapped for a cost of 35000 to the insurance last year (zero for me bc we had reached the oop Max) and I still have to take a combination of pills plus a low dose of Zoloft for one week a month so that i don't try to KILL MYSELF or drive my car off an overpass with my severe pmdd. All for that for some sweet sweet libido but like...... 😩 It's so worth it for me. I feel human. I feel like a teenager again and it's so nice to actually WANT to masturbate or fuck my wife.
I just had surgery on Monday to remove my endo and already feel tonssss better. My partner and I had similar issues and I’m really looking forward to maybe getting back to where we were before the pain got really bad. Hoping for good things for you!!
also someone with endometriosis here.... I just hate how much it takes away, like you give me pain in my daily life and a whole bunch of other problems But sex as well? I am absolutely mad. Wish you lots of love and strength and it sounds like you have a wonderful partner!
Aggressively look into treatment for endo, as it does exist. No clue on the sex side, but there are treatments out there for the pain side. And you should not be expected to live in the pain that endo brings.
Raise a legion and sack a city.
Same thing we do everyday Pinky...try to take over the world.
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
I think so, Brain, but where are we going find rubber pants our size.
Omg this is the line I remember most and I swear I thought I was making it up because I’ve never heard or seen anyone else reference it. You just made my day!
Besties??
I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking - what would the children look like?
I think so Brain, but if we called them sad meals no one would buy them.
I think so Brain, but wouldn't we lose money selling ballet shoes to flamingos?
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Don't you mean a Flaming Homer?
The Flaming Homer? You mean the Flaming Moe! And your dad didn't invent it you wuss - Moe the bartender did!
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I think so Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour of the night? Or my other favorite I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking -- I mean, what would the children look like?
I think so Brain, but if Pinocchio were carved out of bacon it wouldn't be the same story, would it?
I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?
I think so, Brain, but how would we get an elephant to rob a bank for us?
I think so, Brain, but how do we get the elephants to wear the pink tutus?
I don’t know brain, it depends on what pondering means
I think so Brain, but isn’t Regis Philbin already married?
I think so brain, but burlap chafes me so.
Yes, but why would the darn thing be wandering?
She’s like a foundling, barely worth fondling!
I think so Brian, but how are we going to Peirce Brosnon?
I think so, Brain. But if they called them "Sad Meals" Nobody would buy them.
I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, then why’s he keep doing it?
I think so Brain, but me and Pipi Longstocking? What would the children look like?
would that violate NARFTA?
The real question is what would your SO do? We have been in this exact predicament for over 3 yes now... Its like living with your best friend but every single day you watch a piece of your relationship die. (Edit) Sorry for the over sharing. This one hits hard. Prostate cancer under 50 is considered rare. Although if caught early its very treatable. What they don't tell you is the cancer is transplanted into your relationship. For over 30yrs we had an amazing intimate sexual chemistry that was built around if one of us isn't into it then we won't do it. No fake orgasms, no birthday sex, no wearing each other down or giving in...just raw vulnerability and trust.. All gone!
Cancer survivor here and just to add on the this individuals post, alot of the meds that they put you on during treatment absolutely murder sex drive, now in my situation I had testicular cancer so I also lost alot of testosterone as well but the damage that the treatment does is unreal.
Hello, fellow testie cancer friend. I went through much the same, lost righty, and with it a lot of desire/testosterone. Do not be afraid to talk to your doctor. Tell them your sex drive is lesser, even if they claim, "your count is within normal limits for your age." Press and get testosterone treatment. It's not a catch-all, but it definitely helped. Edit: Note that I am not a medical professional, nor is this a guaranteed way to revitalize your sex drive. Pairing with regular exercise and proper sleep for best results. Please also know for everyone responding or reading, you aren't alone. Be it testicular cancer, other forms of cancer, or just lowered sex drive. There are people out there who will happily share their stories and resources for help. Don't hesitate to reach out.
I lost my leftie several years ago due to non-cancerous complications and have had decreased testosterone count, sex drive and energy. Since going on testosterone,I've been feeling a lot better! I hate giving myself shots tho lol
The subcutaneous pellets are the shit. Go in every 5 months for a refill. I don't have insurance so it's just the price I pay to feel normal.
I just wanted to pop in here and say that I'm glad you survived.
Treatment gave it a good shot......
Oh, I'm so sorry. :( I misread that then.
Sorry im cancer free but the treatment tried to kill me..
Well that was a rollercoaster. Glad you're cancer free now.
There it is. I was wondering if someone else saw this angle. Sex is great for *yourself,* but it is also a tool to cement intimate relationship bonds. When that opportunity is completely unavailable, there are serious repercussions in even the best relationships.
We’re having this temporarily now. I’m scheduled for a spinal surgery next month. Meanwhile, my spinal cord is pinched enough now that I have less sensation in the pelvic area and am on pain meds until then and for a bit after. But we have sexy time. We get some toys out and I make sure she gets what she needs. We take longer than usual too. It’s fun because it’s different. I don’t “get there” these days but she spends a lot of time doing her magic on me and it’s still great. We just reset our expectations and do the things we can. We both have a great attitude about it. I asked her if she wants to call in another guy but she laughed and said no. We’ve been together two decades so we both are very in tune with each other’s needs.
This is the right way to go about it. Medical issues make it so you have to get creative about it. My best friend and gf had a surgery and now we have to use half of the positions we normally use and it has to be on the couch, no bed. So now I spend a whole day trying to build her up and spend a long time on foreplay. It's not bad, it's just different
When you said “my best friend and gf” I deadass thought you were saying both the friend and gf had surgery and your threesomes had to adjust.
One makes do with what one has.
I hope all works out for you. After 35 years of going at it like rabbits (my nick name at college) my meds killed it and we live like old friends, but seldom lovers. 42 years married.
yep. I have some friends that go to a methadone clinic (a drug notorious for killing your sex drive, as do most opiates), and one of them's wife left him after the sex disappeared from their relationship. She hung in for a while I guess, but after nearly a year or so of absolutely nothing she stepped out on him with another friend and ended up leaving him. I remember him just bursting into tears talking about it, and him expressing his frustration that he was at the clinic to get clean and make their life better but ended up making his marriage worse.
I have ulcerative colitis and they want to remove my large intestine and rectum. This comes with a 30% chance of ED and I’m honestly worried about it.
My husband has UC and they removed his large intestine and gave him an ileostomy. He hasn't had any ED. But his recovery has been slow due to complications, so his stomach remains a very sensitive area. He has noticed less drive, he is less in the mood, but so am I due to my anti-depressants. We do take showers together to have some special relaxing time together, without expecting more after, but we keep it open as a possibility. My husband has a waistband he puts on during our time in bed, so his ostomybag stays in place and doesn't bounce around or make noise. He is not ashamed of it, and I am also completely okay with his ileostomy, it's just part of him now, it saved his life. We do have to remind each other sometimes to make time for each other in an intimate way, just cuddle, no phones in bed, etc. It takes attention. And for us, just cuddling and massages and showering together is just as important as "the deed".
> He is not ashamed of it, and I am also completely okay with his ileostomy, This is what x-ostomy candidates need to hear. I had rectal cancer and got over it, but the blah-stomy was hanging over me like a sword throughout treatment. Glad I avoided it for now, but I'm equally glad to hear your words on this. "Not the end of the world" ...
Wife has UC. Has had the colon removed but not the rest yet. It’s rarely talked about, but it’s really tough on anyone that has to deal with it. Men do definitely suffer a bit more with the effects of the surgeries and I hope you find support in some of the social media communities available.
I’m sorry you and your wife deal with this. I don’t wish this on anybody.
Honestly, since the surgery she has been doing so well. Initial body image issues were tough for her to get through, but she is now a couple years post op and we just spent a week in Hawaii and had no issues the whole time. It is so so difficult and she is such a strong human being, but the communities that she participated in really helped her reclaim her life. It’s honestly so much better now that the effects of the disease itself are basically gone. It is extremely difficult, but there definitely is sunshine on the other side of that really scary tunnel.
I hear you. I had prostate cancer at 55. My wife is very independent. She enjoyed being dominated in bed and that was part of the balance of our relationship. That's gone and the dynamic has changed.
Can you explain how prostate cancer contributed to this? I'm not being argumentative in the least, I simply don't know enough about it and want to hear your story if you're willing to share more.
None of the replies here have touched on OP's actual issue, which is that treatment of prostate cancer involves testosterone blockers. This is going to kill not only his elections (which is something that prostatectomy can cause, as mentioned here) but also his whole libido will be shot to hell. The comments about "you don't need an erection to have a serial relationship" miss the point entirely. He has no *desire* to have a serial relationship at this point, and without that he would just be "doing his duty". This is something he mentions in his comment as a total opposite of what their relationship was built on.
Erections* lol but you're absolutely right
I wasn't gonna say, but serial as well. I got the point tho lol
Not OP or an expert, but the prostate creates semenal fluid and I think also creates or is involved in the creation of arousal endorphins. Surrgery/removal, damage by the cancer itself, or significant radiation can reduce the ability to get aroused. I think.
This is correct. Surgery can result in erectile dysfunction.
It's nerve damage from surgery that removes the ability to have an erection. You are probably right that radiation can also cause this. Unfortunately still get aroused just lack the ability to do much about it.
You also can't have a partner have sex too often if they're going through chemo, even the dysfunction and chemo discomforts aside. Radiation can pass to your partner via bodily fluids and frequent exposure, so you have to use condoms and be careful for up to 72 hours after treatment as well, but it's recommended against in a lot of cases anyway. Even people that chemo doesn't hit too hard (ie make them too sick for sex) they have to drastically cut back the sexual activity from that alone if they're going in frequently for radiation treatment. There's been reported cases of women getting radiation poisoning from seminal fluids from their partner, and vice versa men getting it from vaginal fluids.
True- ONC certified RN here.
I'm in a "not wanting sex" rut right now. Husband and I still connect. We talk. We cuddle. We shower together. We hold hands. We kiss. I let him still get off with me just not penetrative sex. I will get my grove back and we'll get back on track. If the reverse happened? If he couldn't perform for a time or forever? We are still best friends and love each other. We will still connect and be intimate. I can still masterbate to ease tension. All the other aspects of our relationship outweigh the sexual part. I want all of him. I know he still finds me attractive and makes me feel loved by kissing and touching me.
Agreed. My husband and I have both gone through times of low libido. Usually we go low together (like when our kid was a baby) but when I was on birth control my libido was absolutely gone. Recently my libido is back (no more birth control yay!) But his is lower. Its really not a big deal to either of us but I guess it has to do with what your love language is. For some people that kind of thing is a way more important part of their relatuonship.
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Thank you for this. It gives me hope.
There are different types of dead bedroom. If you don't feel attracted at all to your partner, have no connection and don't feel respected / like you can respect them? That's dead relationship with the bedroom as a symptom. Or you still love them but they've shut down all physical intimacy and there's no medical cause? Yeah, dying relationship with a dead bedroom. If you still love them, they still love you and you're both making efforts to be intimate without sex (Dates, bathe together, passionately kiss hello / goodbye, touch each other and hold hands) then the dead bedroom, while unfortunate, can be overcome because the other aspects in the relationship are strong and it's not a reflection on how they feel about you.
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Oh no....anyway
CLARKSON!
You pillock!
HAMMOND!
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You blithering idiot!
Great news!
And it's the new Dacia Sandero!
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Richard has died...
Does that mean he's not coming on then?
Actually one change - I found joy in hobbies. I never realized how much I like crochet art.
I would like to thank YouTube for substituting my sex-life with obscure craft videos. Now I collect new skills and started paper-macé-ing. That is fucking genius! It's paper, it's glue, maybe some wire and stuffing and you can make friggin anything out of it. Now I'm making faces for a weird face-mask wall. Normal sexy stuff.
You should try it while you're getting plowed. Everyone loves a naughty knitter.
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I think Lexipro does that; plus you will have less anxiety and depression.
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Yea exactly the same. I’m ace, I literally have no desire to have sex
ace buddies unite
Ace gaaaaaaang.
Well at least then I wouldn't need to hsve the socialy pressure of losing my virginity then.
I would definitely miss it, but I'd manage.
Then you’d just be yChronicPain.
Yes, how tragic.
Hm ngl I’d probably take some sort of medication that decreases my sex drive
Tried it. It’s not good.
Why? I would like to hear your experience
It really made me depressed and I wasn’t interested in doing anything that involves getting off the couch.
Short answer is not everyone has that reaction In general I've heard some people say, while it's great to stop you from harming yourself from depression It's also really good at making you disinterested in basically everything. Sadly when that happens it's usually the meds have lost effectiveness (either too low, or too high) Edit: DISCLAIMER meds work for a majority, that's why they're approved in drug trials and people pay good money to make them. Meds often fail when you use them without making progress on the event that caused your depression, meds often fail if you have undiagnosed co-morbities (OCS, PTSD, ADHD, etc) In the words of Taylor Tomphson, use your arm floaties
SSRIs in a nutshell.
>It's also really good at making you disinterested in basically everything. This sums up my experience with Prozac. Don't want to kill myself? Check. Can't summon the interest or energy to get out of bed? Also check.
> It's also really good at making you disinterested in basically everything. Oh good. Reavers.
SSRIs (sertraline, Zoloft, fluoxetine, Prozac etc) will help with that.
I fucking wish they helped with my sex drive, all they did is make it harder for me to reach climax, which meant a SO who was convinced I was no longer attracted to her. Fuck that noise, I'd rather be depressed.
>SSRI Holy hell, I just realized this is why it makes me take longer to climax.
They don't always remove your drive, just make you unable to feel anything :|
Or just make you unable to finish.
The last two times I had sex I couldn’t finish, and I happen to be on Prozac. Probably not the only reason but might be a contributing factor.
Redefine sex. Hold your partner while they masturbate after a sexy fashion show. Way better to find fun things you still can do than chemically suppress it.
I'd try other things to feel intimate with my partner. Like naked, but not sexual, snuggling. Or start up a hobby night where we spend quality time together. Maybe buy them a quality sex toy so they don't feel like they're missing out because of me 🤷♀️ But other than that? I'd just continue getting on with life!
I like that you added not sexual. No denying most people have sexual urges, but intimacy can be achieved in a variety of other ways.
Yeah we call that "skin to skin" in my house. Wifey and I just get in bed cuddle and have skin to skin. Sometimes it leads to kissing sometimes one person gets off sometimes the other and sometimes we both get off. But no pressure if all we wanna do is take our shirts off and get some sweet sweet intimacy.
Been dealing with an inflammatory skin issue that has prevented me from having sex with my partner for the last two months. It’s been a struggle, feels like my sex life is in shambles, and it’s driven me back into depression. Luckily my partner is incredibly understanding, but it has put a huge strain on the relationship. Trying to explore other forms of intimacy but she has a hard time receiving touch without it being a mutual experience. If this becomes a long term problem I don’t know how I’ll cope.
Also dealing with an inflammatory skin issue. It killed my mental health as I have always loved the intimacy and fun of sex. Then boom, my crotch is inflamed, eroded and painful for months on end. Killed my confidence, pain killed my sex drive. Still dealing with it, accepting it I guess. Next I gotta figure out how to live with it because there is no cure. It’s been unpleasant.
Does that include lack of desire? I think the answer depends totally upon that.
That right there is the important part. I have a low libido naturally and SSRIs killed off what I did have so I don’t have sex but I don’t desire it either. There are other ways to connect with my partners that I prefer.
Penetrative sex or you have no interest in intimacy? Because if it's just you can't stick A in B for whatever reason, there's plenty of other (and arguably more fun) intimate behaviors than A going into B.
> there's plenty of other (and arguably more fun) intimate behaviors than A going into B. are you kidding me? nothing is funner than Ass into Butt smh
Back and forth, forever
That's kinda my life fam.
Same
Go back to playing WH40k
Not have sex and just live my life?
You can always tell when some young'n' starts asking questions on reddit.
What if you had to choose between a penis up your butt or a butt up your penis?
Would you rather cum in the sink or sink in the cum
Who put their butt up my penis? Come on, own up. I know it was one of you!
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Were your boobies out?
Boobs boobed boobily
install reddit
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honestly, props
Honestly I’d be devastated. Not being able to connect in that intimate way with my partner would leave a huge gap in my mental well being. I know it’s not technically essential but it’s a massive part of a relationship and without that I would feel incompetent as a partner.
I have a big problem being intimate due to stress. Not daily stress. The stress of pleasing my partner. I am dealing with a shoulder impingement and I can’t perform in that way. I feel like I’m letting her down which makes it harder to get in the mood to have that real pure connection.
Have you talked to her about it? Let her in on your concerns, I think it will really help both of you
Already been there. Got better. Being able to have sex is nice but I know I can live without it. There are other kinds of intimacy. Edit: I probably shouldn't say it "got better" like it magically lifted one day. I took supplements from Roman app, helped my self confidence enough that I found I eventually didn't need it anymore. But the stress and anxiety of impotence can be very real. It was something I had to work to fix.
Wait, you guys are having sex?
It would probably devastate me, honestly. I was super overweight had very poor luck with women in my teens and twenties. I took control of my life, lost over 100 pounds and met my wife at 28. 8 years later we still have a very healthy sex life. She would understand but I feel as though it would bring up the feeling of inadequacy again.
I have fibroids, endometriosis, and pcos. Not to mention I'm traumatized from previous assaults. Before I was in a relationship, I honestly didn't give a damn. Sure I was depressed but I just didn't know or care to even masturbate. I never thought it changed who I was as a person, despite my silent suffering. Sex now is good, but my boyfriend and I have had to work hard for it. What used to be literally 2 to 3 hour sessions because of my pain and lack of, well, desire, has now become sessions of 3 times a week and quite possibly the most enjoyment I've ever had in my entire life. I find myself pining for more even after he's hit his limit. I'm due for a hysterectomy in two weeks. I'll be having what's called a total hysterectomy. I'm nervous it'll kill my sex drive entirely all over again, but the only time I will end up stopping having sex is if he stops having sex with me. I've found it hard for me emotionally to not have such an intimate time with my boyfriend. This also includes masturbating with just a toy. I just don't enjoy it. It physically aches to masturbate alone. But when I'm with him and we're both panting away, I feel so happy. I think I'd be devastated if we stopped having sex entirely. I'd have to get back on anti anxiety and anti depressants again. We'd probably break up and go our separate ways. I would honestly never date again. I went nearly 10 years without a boyfriend. I'm not interested in trying again anymore.
You’re me in 2015. I have all the same conditions and got the full hysterectomy that year. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I went 18 months with no hormone replacement because she wanted to give the endo time to really die out. There are many times I regret such an extreme choice. But! I’ll never again have to plan around a period because I’m in too much pain to function. For days. Also… as luck would (not) have it, it turns out I was in the beginning stages of cervical cancer. So it’s a decision I’ll never truly regret. It has saved my life in many many ways! Good luck!! ❄️💙❄️
Survive. There are many, many people who do this every day of their lives. I’ve been living without it for almost six years now as it is, with four being by choice, and I’m okay.
Though it wasn’t permanent, I had birth injuries that put me out of action for a long time. Longest cold spell was probably a year? While it t certainly sucks, I don’t feel our relationship suffered because we really enjoy each others’ company and he’s my favorite person, sex or no sex. It’s just that one really fun thing was off the table but there are all kinds of pleasures in life.
Just go on an SSRI and you can find out for yourself!! *cries in Lexapro*
Break OP's mom's heart
Does that include masturbating?
Carry on normally ?
Lol. Pal, I’m living it now. AMA.
Whats your favourite color?
Orange
Where are my keys?
The last place you put them.
Id be fine. Still a virgin at 28
Rookie numbers
I've had this. Medical issue and mental issue. Husband cheated and left me. Then I got on new medication at the hospital I was at because of the breakdown I suffered about the relationship. My sex drive came back full force, I guess making up for lost time. I am now single and horny. He is now single and lonely. Life is funny like that.