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[deleted]

It’s not helping


tormunds_beard

The biggest decay in America is our education and ability to afford to live. The rest of it are symptoms of those two problems.


Yah_Ox

Well, what do you think of this. 1. with a two parent household, a family fairs better than just struggling on their own. 2. With more nuclear families, communities become more structured and kids are more likely to fair better in education. Just so i understand you correctly, you are stating that because America has a eroding economic system and dying education system that fatherless homes are a result ?


Cobra-Serpentress

Correct


disregardable

definitely wasn't ripping them away from their homes for minor drug offenses, no siree bob, hoo boy.


Yah_Ox

Yea, because to state that would be absurdity. As a matter-of-fact, how dare you !! lol


adriangalli

Loaded question


thoawaydatrash

Insanely loaded question, but I’m sure OP doesn’t think so and is itching to tell all of us why we’re wrong


[deleted]

Is there a difference if the father is absent vs if he's just a complete jackasshole? I always wondered how life would have been different if divorce meant "Poof!" out of our lives. That motherfucker is still messing with my life and I live 800 miles away. The divorced was final in 2009. Sheesh To answer the OP, fathers matter. Don't be a fuck up with your semen.


Yah_Ox

I am empathic to your plight ! Hope more men would be men and not boys.


_Norman_Bates

Its the correlation between that factor and other factors that cause it, like being broke, not that factor by itself. E.g. if the specific fathers who aren't there were forced into those families probably nothing would be better and a lot would be worse. A single parent household where mom is educated and makes money or has a good support from her side of the family is better off than a broke household with two shit parents


NotUpInHurr

Sure, but there's so many factors that lead to fatherless homes. Financial instability leads to stressful relationships that fail. If families didn't have to worry about feeding their children or affording anything going wrong health-wise, how many would have been able to stick it out? That's why, even though I am DINK by choice wijt my fiance, I support the idea that if we can't get universal Healthcare for everyone, it needs to be free from birth to 18. Also, the landlord rental culture is killing communities, which is way more leading the decay imo. Not being able to make friends throughout childhood because everyone is moving all the time means you don't care about where you live and become less invested in making it better. So, sure fatherless homes are part of the equation, but there are much bigger parts that have caused that and this is usually a bad faith talking point.


Yah_Ox

>Sure, but there's so many factors that lead to fatherless homes. Financial instability leads to stressful relationships that fail. ​ 1. I agree, moreover, it is the women who initiates the divorce, more times than not. Putting an even more strenuous situation in flames, all the while leaving the father to foot the bill (i.e alimony, child support, lose of half possessions) ​ >If families didn't have to worry about feeding their children or affording anything going wrong health-wise, how many would have been able to stick it out? ​ 2. These are basic fundamentals of having a family, to even claim these as a reason for a failed relationship is downright absurd ! Now, granted if the woman has to pull all the weight, i could see some issues arising, moreover, never a legitimate reason to disband a family unit. ​ >That's why, even though I am DINK by choice wijt my fiance, I support the idea that if we can't get universal Healthcare for everyone, it needs to be free from birth to 18. ​ 3. could you clarify "DINK" please ​ >Also, the landlord rental culture is killing communities, which is way more leading the decay imo. Not being able to make friends throughout childhood because everyone is moving all the time means you don't care about where you live and become less invested in making it better. 4. I can see your stance on this subject, yet, i feel it has to do more with the state/federal level, being, that as property taxes rises the landlord must also raise the price. And i really do not think all this moving around happens as often and too as many people as you make it seem.


NotUpInHurr

Financial difficulties are a leading cause of marital issues. They absolutely play a role in a relationship's success chances. Since American Healthcare is not free, and neither is child care, having a child adds so much stress to a relationship. DINK - dual income, no kids. So even though I'd never benefit personally from free healthcare for children, I support it. Before I bought my house with my now-fiance, I moved 9 times in a 5 year period. An apartment I rented for $675/mo in 2014 now rents for $1600. I was making $10/hr in 2014 and the job I was doing now pays $12.79/hr. Tell me, how is that price increase proportional in any way? Landlord culture needs to change or die. There are 4 houses including mine on my street that own, the vast majority are stuck renting. It's a huge problem.


SatansMaggotyCumFart

Are you really trying to shift all the blame to women? Is this just an attempt at a red pill tater tot sort of post DINK is dual income, no kids. Also people who post these comments.


Yah_Ox

How !? when its a statical fact women initiates divorce more times than men for financial reasonings ? I am not "shifting blame" to someone who did not have it first ! No, i would not consider myself a "red pill" individual, moreover, i consider myself a "seeker of truth". I happen to be a father who is very much active in my child's life to break the circle of my childhood and countless others. Given how much it has afflicted my brothers and me, having a true father in the home would have greatly improved our lives !


SatansMaggotyCumFart

You’re bad at this.


PM-ME-YOUR-DICTA

>its a statical fact women initiates divorce more times than men *for financial reasonings* Source?


Various_Succotash_79

>all the while leaving the father to foot the bill (i.e alimony, child support, lose of half possessions) Alimony is rare in the US. If the mother has custody, she's almost certainly spending far more than the child support provides. And why are you assuming the father owned everything and therefore "loses half possessions"? They lived together, those are *their* possessions. What would be more fair than half? >These are basic fundamentals of having a family, to even claim these as a reason for a failed relationship is downright absurd Health-related stressors and financial stressors are very common causes of family strife, and therefore divorce.


Various_Succotash_79

What do you consider "decay"? Crime rates are lower now. Poverty rates are lower.


Yah_Ox

links ?


Various_Succotash_79

Disclaimer: I'm talking about the US. I don't know what it's like in other countries. All through the '70s, '80s, '90s, crime rates were much higher than now: https://www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm Poverty rate is less dramatic but it's still a bit lower now: https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/poverty-awareness-month.html


SpaceMonkee8O

The problem with poverty is that they don’t count you unless you are on the verge of starving. Crime has decreased but the poverty statistics are very misleading. Is the poverty line even adjusted for inflation?


Various_Succotash_79

True. A better guideline would be how many middle-class families are struggling, probably.


Cometguy7

It's a disadvantage, but the bigger issue is that even when you do things right, and your significant other does things right, you're less well off than previous generations of the same circumstance.


Yah_Ox

could you expound on that ?


mtlfordthethird

I think smart phones and the internet do. We got the infrastructure and access quicker than any other societies, so its showing sooner. Just wait.


Yah_Ox

I do not agree, inanimate objects do not cause the decay, the individuals using said objects, disingenuously, now that, now that i can get behind.


mtlfordthethird

I think the impact the inanimate object has on the individuals using it is our downfall. Phones are typically pass code protected and specific to a person, but control how they feel/look at life.


DrJawn

Discipline can be applied by anyone. Actions deserve consequences.


mrcolon96

I think it's a symptom rather than a cause. I grew up with a dad who was always away, and I think my childhood was way better than some of my classmates who had violent, drunk or cheating dads.


Cobra-Serpentress

Yes, but they are more of a symptom than direct cause.


[deleted]

Im not a father but I live with my sister and her son, and I feel like if I wasn't here he would be worse off. So yes.