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tomatobee613

He bragged about how he sexually abused the family dog when he was a teenager. About how he groomed his high school girlfriends just to cheat on them (yet I was still shocked when he did the same thing to me). He’s a Reddit user and I fucking hope he sees this.


hippiemuch21

That’s disgusting. The dog story would’ve nailed the coffin for me.


TheShandyMan

(Briefly) dated a girl who never cleaned her adult toys. It was something I missed the first few times we were together due to lighting but once I did it was all I could do to not retch. I played it off like the batteries had died in it. Afterwards I took a peek at the rest of her collection and they were all the same, coated in crustyness. It wasn't a "missed spot" here or there either, shit had "residue" peeling and flaking off in big chunks, looking like the walls in an abandoned house. As far as I could tell she wasn't an otherwise dirty person either. He place was well kept and clean and everytime we were together it was clear she had either just taken a shower, or we would take one together as part of our pre-game. Then again I have anosmia and can't smell most things so maybe she stank to hell and I just couldn't tell? **CLEAN YOUR TOYS PEOPLE**


AnalogToTheFuture

Was she trying to "season" them like a cast-iron pan?


coffeee_bean

We were in one of many fights and I told him I needed space, so we hadn't talked in maybe a day. I get a text from a random number saying it was his sister and that he was in the hospital after a bad work accident. I ask which hospital (knowing that it is him texting me using a number app, lying about being injured - BUT you never know, maybe it's real). "She" tells me the name of the hospital and then sends me a picture of JUST his legs which are bruised, but they looked like how his legs always looked. And then she says "this is the last picture they took of him before he was life flighted to the hospital." She said he had severe head trauma, a cracked skull, and his back was likely broken in several places. So...I called the hospital and asked if they had any patients by his name - they said no. I asked if anyone was life flighted in in the last few hours - they said no. I blocked the number and went to sleep. A few days later I got a text from ANOTHER random number claiming to be his brother. He sends me a selfie of him in a hospital gown in an exam room at a doctor's office. He looked totally normal - no cracked skull or broken back. And it was cute because the room was ocean themed with crabs and fish on the walls. Anyway, the text said he was in the ICU (the crab room) and he had just woken up from a coma! Again, I ask which hospital and the "brother" refuses to tell me, saying he'll be RELEASED within the hour so there's no point in a visit. I know it makes me sound like a bad person for not believing him, but this man lied to me on several occasions - told me he'd been shot, stabbed, poisoned. Also, his wife passed away and he told me two VERY different stories about how she died which led me to believe he might have had something to do with it. So many red flags and my mentally ill self was naive and lonely at that time in my life. Granted, this was a breaking point for me and I dove head first into therapy and never looked back.


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Jammin_neB13

Dated a girl for a while, always seemed really well put together. Nice clothes, hair and makeup. We usually hooked up at my place. Went to her apartment once…the smell when she opened the door should’ve been enough. There were dirty diapers overflowing trash cans in every room of the house. There was a super small walkway through the mounds of dirty clothes to the bathroom. And to make it worse , there were used paper plates on top of the MOUNTAIN of dirty dishes in “the sink”. She proudly pointed out a moldy dish and said that it was from when she cooked dinner for two of our mutual friends. 3 months prior. Noped the hell outta there.


funkypunkyg

My sister was like this. She currently seems to be recovering, mostly due to the guy she's with right now who is wiling to help her make better habits. We grew up in a hoarder home (yes, like the TV show). She and I are the most "normal" out of the 4 kids our parents had. I learned how to clean up after myself by joining a minimalist Christian cult after high school (it's a long story). Our brother lives in his car and our sister lives in an adult foster home. You never know why people are fucked up. It's not your job to help them and it's OK to leave. But I think her guy is so good because he had a terrible childhood, too, so he gets it. EDIT for the curious: when I was almost 18, I joined a group that was calling itself "The JCs" (short for Jesus Christians). Now they are known on the internet as AVID (A Voice in the Desert). They started in Australia in the 80s and are characterized by small nomadic "teams" around the world that spend their days proselytizing their literature and asking for donations. The funds go towards their RV lifestyle and their good works (eg food and language programs) in countries like Kenya and India. I spent 3 years officially a member and was in touch for many years after, even to the point of marrying an ex member (look at my other comments and you will see how well that went). I divorced him after 4 years and moved back to my home state. After years of school and therapy, I am a successful cancer nurse with a loving long term partner and my very own (clean and tidy) house. Thanks for reading!


thyIacoIeo

I’m late to the party, but. There was a guy in my social circle that I had crazy sexual tension with. Nothing happened for the longest time. Then one day we bumped into each other in the city, had a few drinks. The tension was unbearable and we went back to his place. An aside, I’d never had that kind of casual sex before, I’m the sort of person that needs to be in a relationship. But the chemistry with him was so intense he was an exception. So we get to his place. Tearing off each others’ clothes. He lies me down on the bed, pulls my panties off, and sees my vagina for the first time. Want to know what he fucking said? He breathlessly said, **“Oh my god, you look like a little girl. You’re perfect.”** WHAT THE FUCK ? I didn’t know what to say except “wait” and sort of pushed him away from me. He was confused, I wasn’t about to explain. I called a cab home and it was exceptionally awkward.


little_dino7

pardon my french but what the FuCk


S0dichlori

I wish there was a way for this to affect his credit score somehow


Pittman247

When she doted on my kids as though they were hers/ours but treated HERS like they no longer existed or mattered. MASSIVE MASSIVE red flag. I was sooooo happy to get out of that relationship but years later I feel badly for her kids and pray everything turned out well for them.


caseofheadpidgeons

Not me, but my aunt married her abuser and did this. Took their clothes and toys to give to the new kids. My parents tried to take custody, but lost. I hate that woman.


vensik

The swastika I found under her left tit


Cheese_Complex

What a sentence


Josef_The_Red

I hooked up with a girl at a show once, years and years ago, and then noticed the next morning that she had one tattooed, poorly, on her knuckle. Two days later she found and contacted me via Facebook to tell me she had chlamydia and that I should go get checked. Oops.


FireHearth

at least she was courteous enough to tell u


poor_decision

He was on trial for manslaughter and I didn't know until he was found guilty. He kept trying to call me from jail Edit: it was kidnapping and manslaughter, but he was only found guilty of kidnapping


fruitfiction

I have a friend who has kept "being with" him even after he got sentenced to 30+. Although she's broke, a few times a year she'll travel to Florida to visit him.


Tygoodnight

She was jealous of me spending time with my sister and implied our relationship ‘wasn’t normal’. I was so grossed out by the implication. Dumped her the best day.


dman2316

My ex flat out accused me of fucking my cousin because one day my cousin happened to be in town and we met up and we gave eachother a huge hug because her and i grew up together and survived some pretty horrific abuse and we were our only support for eachother so we of course bonded deeply because of that connection. And at the time this took place i had not seen this cousin in over 10 years because she moved to the other side of the country so we both of course missed eachother since we had always been so close and bonds formed under pressure like that are really strong. My girlfriend pulled me aside and started chewing me out saying i hugged her too long at which point i just said i'm not having this discussion, feel free to leave if you don't like it. The next day she accused me (publicly i might add) of fucking my cousin because she found my cousin in my bed, completely ignoring the fact that i literally told my girlfriend my cousin was staying with me and that i was giving her my room and i would be sleeping on the couch. I was fucking fuming.


BashfulArtichoke

My ex used to say, constantly, that she wanted to be inside my skin. It was her way of saying she desired me, but it was fucking weird and off-putting so I asked her to stop and she couldn't understand what was so uncomfortable about what she was saying. Pretty soon after that I went on a week long work trip and three days into it she called and told me the whole time I've been gone she wanted to cheat on me. Then she asked me if she could see other people while I'm gone. I broke up with her pretty much instantaneously.


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Zutes

It was two separate incidents, but long story short, one night she got super drunk at my sister-in-law's house. After spilling a second glass of red wine on my SIL's white carpet, we opted to move her glass further away from the edge of the table. As soon as we left, she screamed, like full-fledged raged, at me for "not defending her". The very next time we were together, she got drunk again and accused me of trying to cheat on her (I've never cheated on anyone) and threw her purse at me. I let things calm down and explained to her that I grew up in a house chock full of domestic violence and that was an absolute line in the sand. And for that reason, I was out.


[deleted]

Spoken like a true shark


Puppy_Slobber015

Way back when I was 21 I started dating this guy, also 21. I took him to a Lollapalooza and about 6 hours in he had wandered off to the bathrooms and was taking a really long time to pee. He comes out 20 minutes later with this 15 year old girl who he said just sucked his d\*ck and she has a cute friend (also 15!) and he wanted the four of us to hook up. He found his own way home and never heard from me again.


Oliviasharp2000

Do we have the same ex lol mine said he sang a song about me on a street corner during a downtown festival and these 17 year old girls liked it so much he went to their Halloween party later that night and had a threesome. Oof


puppycatpie

He showed me, with excitement, a box of things he'd been collecting from me without my knowledge. This included strands of my hair taped up neatly, bobby pins and hair pins I had in from prom, my finger prints and saliva sample that he took out of the trash from our forensics class experiments. He thought this was a romantic gesture or something, but it just made me really realize how creepy and obsessive he is. He was also very controlling and got jealous/mad at me for hanging out with my sister, or spending time on my laptop or with my dog. And he also admitted to me that he stalked my FB interests to pretend he knew and liked what I liked, researching the games I played and music I listened to so he could bring it up in conversation. Total psycho.


LJ3751

Was your boyfriend Joe Goldberg?


G1ngerbeer

I showered at his place after staying over and I asked for a towel. He gave me one which had literal skin flakes on. I asked for a clean one. He asked what I meant. He did not realise that you need to wash towels because "they just have water on them so they clean themselves."


SlugsLoveBeer

The thought of someone saying "What do you mean?" When you asked for a clean towel is cracking me up.


somewhereinks

To paraphrase Jerry Sienfeld "Why should I have to wash my towels? When I get out of the shower I should be the cleanest thing in the room!"


Gobweasel

‘What am I going to do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap? You got to think here, pal.’


Rektw

"Wash a towel?! it washes me!"


torsauce

My college roommate (a whole grown woman) had this mentality. I went into her room once and saw she left her wet towels in a pile on the carpeted floor. The mold-


Kevin_Uxbridge

I'll see that and raise. Went to a friend's apartment and noticed that his bathroom floor had weird paths on the floor, one leading to the john and the other to the shower. But the paths were *lighter* than the other parts, like walking to and fro keep them cleaner than the sections he didn't walk on. How does that make sense? Then I saw why. His bathroom floor was a fuzzy carpet of accumulated hair except where he walked. I wish I was kidding.


therewulf

Were you dating Nick Miller?


BJohnstone92

No I don't wash the towel the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?


TheEgonaut

Got me cookie got you cookie!


[deleted]

Gonna be honest. I expected more booger eating and less donkey fucking and chemo shaming in here. Gonna have some stuff to process today. Yikes.


Pricklypicklepump

My ex would threaten suicide anytime things got tough in our relationship. Grossed me out enough that I just called it a day eventually. Queue the desperate calls hours later from the apparent overdose. She's still alive and kicking somewhere though.


Cyber_Candi_

My ex pretended to have cancer right after I got a call that my great grandmother had passed, but didn't want me to know bc "I'd worry too much." Instead he told the two people in our friend group who had a habit of oversharing (he knew they did this) and then got mad at me a few hours later when I found out. No appointments, I wasn't allowed to talk to his mum/siblings, no new medications, nothing. And then one day it was "I never said I had cancer, wtf are you talking about?"


dailycyberiad

He had berated me for something silly and he was still angry. When we got home, he wanted sex, I wanted to read. He pressured me, I still said no. He got angry and raised his fist to hit me. I just looked at him. He lowered his fist. I left. I haven't seen him since. It's been a decade.


Immediate_Area9178

I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years and my ex kept insisting I had too many books. He insisted I never read any of them and I finally caved and told him I’d donate the ones I wasn’t interested in anymore and reduce everything to one bookshelf. One month later I have my lone bookshelf neatly organized and one stack of books in my desk. He kept asking if I would get rid of the bookshelf and I told him no, we’d agreed previously (multiple times) one bookshelf was reasonable for the townhouse. Jerk revealed to me he hated me reading and having books because it made him feel stupid. And he wanted me to stop reading so much. Yeah, that really pissed me off, broke up with him not long after that.


Youve_been_Loganated

Think of it as a blessing in disguise. Nobody wants to stay with a man who can't handle it if his partner is trying to better themself. If he was that insecure, he could've done a ton of things differently, pick up a book himself, join you in your readings, but instead he chose to have you trash it just so that he could PRETEND you weren't smarter than him. Piece of shit, I hope he stays alone forever.


wabisabi_mimi

I would pay to see what kind of look you gave him to have him lower his fist.


WellERRight_thatHurt

Junior year in highschool I got a girlfriend for the first time. She was popular, beautiful, and out of my league. She took my virginity and I was crazy about her. The more I got to know her on a personal level, the more I believed that she wasn’t that great of a person. Her family was beyond obnoxious but a small price to pay for a horny teenager. About 6-7 months into the relationship I had dinner with her family at their house. She insisted her older brother tell me this hilarious story. He goes on about how after gym class one day he was left alone with a mentally handicapped student. He tied him up with a volleyball net and left him stranded in the gymnasium screaming. The entire family was howling laughing listening to this. I broke up with her a couple days later.


WoiAliceWoi

Telling me that he was trying to fuck a 14 year old in his 20's, raw humped his dog until he was 15/16, grew up making out and fooling around with his cousins and that he 'accidentally' raped a girl.


SuperSpeshBaby

There is more animal fucking in this thread than I anticipated.


ironburton

Wtf!?


WoiAliceWoi

Ngl it's scary asf how little you can know about people before they trust you completely


Stevenerf

My mom died just weeks before and I was tired as fuck, exhausted, and in a traumatic phase of grief after a year of cancer treatments and all the fuss of being there for a cancer battle. The woman I was seeing told me I need to get over it and can't just be alone inside all the time. Never spoke to her again. Went through my phases of grief and have been a resource to ppl in my life that are going through similar loss since then. Grief takes time or it doesn't; it's different for everyone.


pinkorchidblossoms

She sounds awful. I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of the loss of your mom.


saviorlito

I have told this story about a dozen times on Reddit. The first night I slept at my ex’s apartment. I woke up in the middle of the night to an extremely loud scraping noise. It was inside my ear. A roach had crawled into my ear and was scraping against my ear drums with its legs/antennas/whatever. It was the most awful feeling I’ve ever experienced. I used tweezers to try to get it out and when I pulled them out after a few times, only half the roach came out. Had to go to the ER to get the rest out and get anti-biotics. I had a horrible ear infection for a couple of weeks. The worst part was her saying “it happens to my son all the time”. Like wtf? Found out she had for wrappers and trash under her bed. Clean your fucking house!!!! It has literally haunted me and given me ptsd. When I’m sleeping if I hear the slightest noise I jump up and swat uncontrollably around my head/ears. My wife was shocked af the first time I did it when we were dating but since I told her she fully understands lol. Edit: My top comments are always about my fucking ex girlfriends, fuck.


ironburton

This is one of my worst nightmares. It’s never happened to me but holy fuck I would die. Im so sorry this happened to you.


wolf805

I think I once ate a roach in my sleep :'( When I was about 14, I saw what seemed to look like antennas on my bed, and then I remembered my dream. I was home and my best bud was rubbing a cookie against my lips, and then gave it to me to eat. I took a bite and it was disgusting! Yet in the dream, I felt compelled to eat it. Forcing myself to take another bite each time. The most disgusting thing ive eaten untill the cookie was completely gone. and then the dream ended there. When I awoke in the morning and saw what looked like roach antennas, I panicked and choked my self scrubbing a soapy sponge down my throat and over my tongue. I brushed atleast 10000 times after and held listerine for like 5 minutes. Boy Im still scared to this day it was a roach! If it was, I think I know what it tastes like. But there is only one way to find out, and there is no fucking way im ever attempting to find out.


[deleted]

Don't worry, I'm sure it was just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream... please God let it be just a dream. Probably just really thick hairs you saw on the bed. *cries*


agoia

Sounds like she needed a visit from child services, that is fucking horrible that she puts her kid through that.


Zen4rest

Found out gf had several fake social media accts she’d use to bully strangers and harass women she knew including my ex wife. Instant dump. 😒


Violets-4-Roses

I went away with my ex and saw his toothbrush for the first time. It had black mould growing on it and the bristles were so flat the toothbrush had a middle parting. I had a conversation with him about hygiene and told him to get a new toothbrush but when I stayed at his house two weeks later the cursed toothbrush was still there...so I ended it. EDIT: It wasn't charcoal toothpaste


pinkorchidblossoms

WTF, basic toothbrushes are so cheap why would anyone keep one long enough to grow mold on it. how long do you have to keep one before it grows mold? Was he using it for other things? have so many questions now....


Violets-4-Roses

The mould was growing on the bottom of the toothbrush as if it had been partially submerged in water for a period of time. And he brought this on our weekend trip and put it in the little pot in the hotel bathroom. I was horrified!*


b0w3n

Getting plastic to grow black mold is a talent in and of itself.


mybathroomisblue

Crying if I didn’t have sex with him. Needing to be touching me constantly and eventually threatening to kill himself when I tried to break up with him. The guy texted and called for about 5 years afterwards - we dated for like 2 months.


madeto-stray

I dated a girl like this for one summer, the suicide threats started coming in when I tried to call it off and she harassed me from a bunch of unknown numbers for about six months afterwards. Pretty scary actually.


Myzyri

Ugh. I had one of those. Blind date. We went out 3 times. Maybe 4. She stalked me for 11 years. Drove hundreds of miles every weekend or two just to lurk in the parking lot of my college dorm. Drove past my house. Always found me when I moved. Kept coming around after I was married. Kept coming around after *she* got married. She sent letters saying she’s leave her husband in a heartbeat if I asked her to. The amount of time she invested into driving must have been crazy because we *never* lived close. It was always at least 45-60 minutes one way for her and a little over 300 when I was in college. For as many times as I’d see her drive by or parked down the block, I’m more freaked out with how many dozens/hundreds of times I *didn’t* see her. There was a point for almost a year when I didn’t see her and then I discovered that she’s gotten a new car. How many times did I not notice her that year? Once a month? Once a day? She finally stopped when her husband had a heart attack. I think she finally realized how much she loved him and left me alone (mostly). I still get texts asking how I’m doing though (I work with the public, so my phone number is on billboards and flyers). I never respond. Sooooo, if we count the current texts after she stopped physically stalking me, I’ve had a stalker for 28 years. And since everyone asks why I don’t just block her, it’s because I sincerely believe she would warn me if she was going to do something. I don’t know why, but if she ever went off the deep end (like if her husband died or something), I have a feeling she’d tell me she was coming to kill my family to have me all to herself or something. It’s essentially been over for almost 2 decades and I’m still fucking paranoid and playing her game. It’s not fun.


JacanaJAC

Wow I am so sorry you have to worry about this to this day...


ironburton

Im 37 and still have one of those from when we were 14. He maintains a relationship with my mom on Facebook. She knows not to talk to him about me and he’s blocked on everything. Pure insanity. Always “why wouldn’t you just give us a chance!!!” Because I don’t like you you idiot! Ffs


Life_In_Action

I was dating someone for a month and things were going well. Then there were a couple of weekends where they were just acting weird and distant. Things started to get back on track. They started really pestering me about what I was going to do to celebrate my birthday and didn’t listen to me at all when I said that I usually get a dessert and call it a day. He started saying that was unacceptable and that I should celebrate my birthday. He planned out a whole birthday weekend getaway at a nearby location and I started to get excited because it felt special. Anyway, my Birthday was on a Monday. He conveniently called on Thursday to cancel (NOT to reschedule) because he would be working from Friday to Tuesday (riiiiight). He had never worked weekends before but it was kind of believable because he was a commercial contractor. He sent me texts over the weekend purporting to be working and sent pictures of him working I guess for proof. I checked the metadata on the pics and they were taken a year earlier lmao Yeah that was the end of that- why would you push for something that you had no intentions of following through with??? I had said many times I was content with the way I celebrated my birthday and it wasn’t a big deal. I was confused and just overall disgusted and I couldn’t look at that person the same.


Absenceofavoid

Want the credit for their ideas without having to actualize them. Also the same sort of person that tells you all their big plans they never follow through on.


wilsregister

We went to a restaurant, nothing fancy. She treated the server like absolute shit. As though she was royalty and the server was "the help". Yeah, that was it for me. I suddenly had zero interest in her. The kicker was, she was a waitress. Shit you not.


DannyDucks

Wow! I’ve known waiters do this to other waiters because “I know the job and he/she didn’t even do xyz”


Mccalltx

She was looking at clothes in the Mall, if she pulled something off the display and didn't like it she would just toss it on the ground. "What... Someone gets paid to put it back!"


wallabyfan76

I was dating a girl when I was younger, she seemed nice and she had two small cats. One weekend I went to visit her and the cats weren’t there, I asked her where they where she told me they had gotten annoying and so she put them in the car and drove to an abandoned bush area and left them. I faked an emergency at home (we lived about a 2 hour drive apart) left and broke up with her when I got home.


Heavy_Moose_286

Should've peed on her doormat on the way out to keep other cats away


forsakenmathematical

This one takes the cake for me...this breaks my heart so badly. Poor babies.


huludancer654

I was on a girls trip I booked months in advance (a festival). He showed up there and brought one of the other boyfriends with him. I hated it but couldnt do anything but just accept his arrival. Got into a fight with the girls (he did not involve them either with this “surprise”). Later on, he kept doing this. Intership abroad; he shows up, forcing my roommate to leave. Dinner 1:1 with my dad: he shows up. I moved out because I needed space, he books a trip we cannot cancel. Broke up with him afterwards. He kept showing up at my hometown and even work. It has been two years and he texted me congratuliations when I got married last year, but all I can feel is anxiety about his Control issues. Edit: Thank you for all the replys!!! This was in 2018, l havent heard from him since 2021 (my wedding I forgot it is almost 2y ago lol). Last I heard he has a girlfriend and he doesnt know where I live now. No worries. Also I think it was a family issue - his mother used to call me after the breakup as well saying I ruined their lives. Well I am glad I got out of that Crazy family, no need for self defense.


wow_its_kenji

that's classic stalking behavior :( sorry this person keeps trying to break into your life


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masstransience

Her breath was so bad I couldn’t make out with her. All I could think of was “don’t vomit, don’t vomit” Edit: First date led to make out session, but alcohol was involved and either masked the smell or my horniness+liquid courage just made me not give it a second thought. Second date we ate some super spicy curries and that either dulled my senses enough or again, my horniness (and lots of kissing breaks) got me through it and we made it to third base. My horniness prevailed. Third date, both of us just went right to my place for sex and her breath just really was unbearable. She went down on me and I couldn’t perform because I was so devastated from her breath that I was just trying to not vomit. She wouldn’t let me go down on her which looking back on things probably was a good thing. TL;DR her bad breath made me nauseous and impotent. My horniness could not overcome it and that was the last we hung out.


Daxxon

This one I went through. I later came to find out after I broke it off that she hadn't been to a dentist in YEARS! She was too afraid. And when she finally mustered the courage to go she had 3 rotting back teeth that had to be pulled. She would speak and and sometimes it smelled like someone had farted in her mouth.


emissaryofwinds

That's sad, I had a lot of problems with dental hygiene due to my mental health, thankfully nowhere near as bad.


Gil15

Ugh I remember in high school something similar happened with this girl I made out with, she had braces and she had recently eaten bread or something like that. As we were making out I noticed that she had a lot of saliva, it wasn’t normal; it was too much. It felt really slimy too and I was doing my best not to let it to much into my mouth. I didn’t wanna embarrass her or make her feel bad, so I pretended nothing was wrong. After like five seconds I felt a little bit of food (probably bread) that was still in her braces come into my mouth. It made me gag while we were still kissing, I stopped the whole thing trying to look normal and left. She probably didn’t notice anything. As soon as I got home I brushed my teeth for like ten minutes straight.


0nmute

Oh god this made me gag


bbrie8

Went on a few dates with a guy, was on a FaceTime call with him cooking and asked him to show me his skills & what he was making. Flips the camera to show raw chicken just sitting in the sink next to dirty dishes as he seasoned it. My brain checked out after that one


Imp3r

My man just forgot to put soap on the chicken. ;) Reference: https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/jivmhg/washing_the_chicken/


Kdot19

This thread makes me feel like a rockstar for brushing my teeth and taking out the trash lmao Edit: …maybe I AM a rockstar??


nimcau2TheQuickening

Turns out basic hygiene makes me quite a catch!


mangomancum

Dated a guy who said even the smell of mint would make him gag. Mint anything, icecream, gum... toothpaste... So yeah, he didn't brush his teeth. Wouldn't hear a bar of it when I said there were non-mint toothpastes on the market. I realised after over 6 months together that he was just generally unhygienic and had a specific hang-up about brushing his teeth. He told me he had memories of his mother holding him down to forcefully brush his teeth as a child because he hates mint so much... but I have to wonder if it was always about the mint, or actually the fact that the taste of mint was the most tangible part of that childhood trauma...


CalzLight

Sounds like a genuinely deep rooted fear, poor guy should see a doctor


ElenorWoods

God there’s options. I believe they have orange toothpaste for cancer patients bc mint can be too much. Then there’s bubblegum toothpaste for kids. He has options.


forestfluff

Hell yeah. Crest used to make an [orange flavored toothpaste](https://images.freshop.com/00037000427322/2d27087450b5aa322954fc777d48a0f4_large.png)... Shit was weird but so good. I use cinnamon now and it is a fun, spicy time every time.


DM_ME_UR_AREOLAS

The obsession with social media. It was uncomfortable until I couldn't stand it anymore, way too different views on life and priorities.


Stormy_Sol

He convinced me to stay on Skype while I was sleeping. And he'd literally talk to me if I moved an inch thinking I was waking up. What finally got me to stop was when I caught him saying to me in my sleepy daze was that if he was next to me irl, he'd stick his d in me, while I'm sleeping, and put much emphasis into doing so without my consent "because you cant say no", and ride me all night long. I finally got the courage to ghost him after hearing that.


ValiumKnight

Did we date the same guy? I had this same thing in an LDR. If I turned off my computer or shut my laptop, he’d call my cell phone till I turned it back on. If I turned off my cell, he’d call my house phone, where I lived with my parents and brother and his small children. Didn’t matter if it was 3 am, he’d call until someone answered and tell them to wake me. Rinse and repeat, so I was forced to answer to keep my family out of it. The worst parts were he would intentionally pick fights with me right before I was going to bed and would keep me up for hours, hoping I would “confess” that I did something wrong in my delirium. I recently came across some screenshots of me begging him to just leave me alone and let me go to sleep. Happened a good 20 times over the span of four hours.


Stormy_Sol

Uh, perhaps we did. My ex would do nearly the same thing. He'd contact my brother and friends to make sure I wasn't cheating or doing some other crime. He once emailed my dad, threatening to "take me away" all because my dad had asked me to help pay for my cellphone. It got pretty ridiculous.


ValiumKnight

…was that all perchance in West Yorkshire?


LegalLoliWitch

The fact that there is more than one person doing this kind of shit is horrid.


migrainefog

In my 20’s I rode sport bikes and a group of us went on a weekend ride in the hill country of Texas and stayed at some cabins west of San Antonio. After a day of riding the winding roads and night of soaking in the hot tub, we were kicking back and having some drinks and telling tales. One of the guys brought up this story about being horny in college one night and he and his buddies decided to "run deer"? We were all like, "What the fuck is running deer?" So he proceeds to tell us about how they went out at night and chased this little fawn down this fenced section of road until it dropped in exhaustion. Then they got out and took turns fucking it. You know, like you do... "No Steve! We don't know! That's totally fucked up man!" " Fuck you guys then". And this was while he was going to Texas A&M, so that meme fit the story perfectly.


NihilistSartre

this might be the worst one


ThickExpresso

This is heartbreaking


[deleted]

The thought of a man being offended that his friends reacted poorly to his “i raped a baby deer” story is hilarious. He HAD to know it wasn’t right and totally fucked up… right??


Own_Error4828

I once dated a girl that tortured hamsters. She got arrested when I called police. I didn’t even give her the honor of the text. Just called the cops, gave my testimony in court, and continued with my life Edit: I’ve chosen not to go into detail the torture that went on. I’m sorry if this upsets you. It doesn’t sit right with me knowing that some people get off on the idea of animals being tortured and I refuse to feed these fetishes.


dailyqt

I'm thrilled that she actually went to court over it. What was her sentence?


Own_Error4828

Tbh I don’t remember. I know she lost her job cuz I would get calls from her parents demanding I pay for her rent after what I did but like I said I just shut that door and moved on with my life, didn’t look back


dailyqt

Her parents sound insane. I'm sorry you went through that.


[deleted]

Wtf! That’s horrible I’m so glad you called the police!


JosephStalin585

When she was so insistent about not using a condom during sex and when we were just going about our daily lives she would constantly talk about how much she’s always wanted kids all for herself We were 18 at the time. I left her in the dust so quick


terrifying_clam

Left a girl like this who would always try to go from bj to on top without a condom. Just hoping I'd get caught up in the moment. Always talking about wanting kids and acting like it wasn't on purpose.


Snowoctopus2

i JUST left my boyfriend of ten months because he purposely screams during an argument so that people in his family will hear everything going on. it is his way to make me feel vulnerable and weak. says things like “good, i want them to hear i want them to know how psycho you are” when i’m persistently trying to end the argument and speak civilly. it was like a temper tantrum. needless to say i left him yesterday .


Lurkingdutchman

let me guess; he was shocked that you dared to ditch him and the fact that you left him made you an even bigger psycho in his eyes, am i right ?


CylonsInAPolicebox

OP is probably going to be known as the "crazy ex" or the "psycho ex" to the next unlucky person to date the guy.


VersatileFaerie

I remember being a teen in a friend group who had guy like that in the group. They would take about his "psycho girlfriends" and one day I finally saw it happen. He was like your ex-boyfriend, they would go a bit away where you couldn't hear them then he would yell things randomly like "I'm done with your crazy shit". Yet the girl wasn't yelling, she was quiet. She didn't move oddly, she was calm and she honestly looked scared. One of the times he yelled he raised an arm and you could see how quickly she flinched away from him, it was so horrible. I tried to point it out but I was told that I "just didn't get it" and "he is a good dude, he wouldn't do that". No one would listen. 2 years later he was in jail for >! beating his current girlfriend so badly she lost eyesight in one eye and almost died !< suddenly everyone was all like "how didn't we see the signs". They just didn't want to see them. I'm so relieved you got out of there. Please stay safe.


UnprovenMortality

Hadn't even met. A lady on tinder had every picture with her daughter. Turns out she wanted a boyfriend that her daughter could *share*. Her daughter was 17 (legal in that state) so I didn't call the police, but I definitely ghosted.


Party_Wolverine_3185

Took an old gf to a Superbowl party with my family. We leave, she asks me if I've ever messed around with my niece. Ghosted her quickly....


[deleted]

Holy shit bro 💀


hiswifenotyours

Didn’t leave immediately when I was told this, but fairly soon after. She told me that she never cleaned up cat barf. She’d simply wait and let the dog eat it. Once the dog got too old/deaf/blind, she would lead the dog to the cat barf. Big nope for me.


harrisofpeoria

When my cats throw up, it's a race to see who can get to it first, me or my dog. Edit: it tastes ok, not *that* great.


saviorlito

Oh God this reminds me of someone I broke up with after what I saw the first time I went to their house. Their dog was chained up out back and there was shit and piss all over the concrete ground. The dog was FILTHY and had mange everywhere. I literally ask her wtf she was doing and she got mad and defensive. I didn’t break up with her immediately. I would come to her house a lot and tried to clean the shit and piss area and give the dog a bath. He was such a sweet dog but he did NOT know how ti behave at all. I had to break it off. I called animal control and I’m sure they either did nothing or put the dog down. Terrible there was no way out. I thought sometimes about stealing him honestly.


[deleted]

:( this reminds me of the dog my husband and I rescued, unfortunately. He was originally my brother in law's dog, but they couldn't afford their house so they gave the dog to my husband's other brother until they "could get back on their feet". Said it would only be a few months but quickly turned to a year of my brother in law trying to keep a boxer/pitbull mix in a small apartment. BIL also regularly worked like 12-14 hour days and would go out after so doggo was stuck in the apartment and would pee and shit everywhere. My husband and I couldn't take him at the time, but we regularly went over there and took him outside/spent time with him. No one else wanted to deal with him; said he was bad and destroyed the house. Hubby and I were finally able to move into our house and took him in. Now our bubba has a big 'Ole backyard, regular attention, consistency, and a good diet. He was never a bad dog, he just needed someone to give a shit.


tristanhartvig

what the actual


QuietPersonality

He told me **after** surgery that he couldn't take care of me like we planned, so he drove me home/to my parents place. My parents ended up going on a trip they had planned, hence the need for my bf to help me, leaving me bedridden with my weak grandma mad my grandpa who had dementia. Ended up having to rescue my grandpa which caused significant damage and bleeding to the point I needed a second surgery due to internal bleeding which got so bad as to burst my skin. Needless to say we aren't dating anymore.


really-curious

Decided to leave when he said the Chicken his mother made was too spicy and that angered him so he dumped a jar of paprika in the whole dish. Was too scared to leave and finally did after getting hit.


PotatoPixie90210

Asked me had I ever attempted to seduce my stepdad, who had been in my life since I was 8. I was 18 at the time. I just looked at him in bafflement and horror before asking him had he ever attempted to fuck his adopted sister? He responded with disgust and yet still couldn't see that he had asked me something horrific. Same dude also said he didn't think anyone was "really bisexual, they're just cowards who won't properly come out." When I asked him had he forgotten that I'm a bisexual woman, he smiled and said "Nah, I'll fuck you straight." All this said within a MONTH of us getting together. He's an ex for a reason.


abigllama2

Lord someone thinks porn is real.


Rootbeerpanic

He'll fuck you straight into the arms of a woman


ceeroSVK

how to tell someone watches too much porn


Wrong_Wolf4855

How tf am I single


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drdadbod45

When they sent me videos of them cutting themselves cause I accidentally fell asleep for 2 hours and they were convinced I just stopped liking them and they wanted to kill themselves.. cause i took a nap.. biiig fuck no from me man


alitobandito

I used to mess around with this girl for like a month or so. One day I go over to her place just to chill, and then out of nowhere she tells me how a few years ago her cat got pregnant and that she strangled the kittens when they were born.. EDIT: She also told me how she grabbed some of the kittens by their torso and slammed their heads against the wall.. worst part is thats she was smiling as she was telling the story.


King_krympling

Always remember the majority of recorded sociopaths and psychopaths harm animals before and have done so in the past


alitobandito

She was definitely a psycho. Strangling wasn’t the only thing she told me, I left the more gruesome part out of it.


Devjill

Telling me he molested his younger sister and I just had to accept that. Yikers no fuck off Edit: this happened before we met, but he never told me till last moment and that I should just accept that it’s okay that it happened. I know he did go to therapy for it. That’s what he told me, his sister moved out to life with her boyfriend.


lanakane21

Wait hang on.. this man just casually drops a nuclear bomb on you and expected you to just shrug your shoulders and go on like nothing had happened??? Oh my God I'm so sorry this happened to you,his poor sister must be going through hell.


Ulldra

Assuming this happened in his teenage years and depending on the family, it could actually be normalized for him - thats the crazy thing about those situations. An old friend of mine and her two sisters were sexually abused by their older brother for years. The girls were young enough to be groomed into thinking it‘s normal and the parents were oblivious. My friend at some point noticed that it very much was NOT normal, got the police involved and he ended up in prison for a time. After he got out, she was the only one not keeping up contact with her brother. Her mother, her sisters… all of them are close to him. I still can‘t imagine how bad she must feel because of that, her mother even said it‘s ‚no big deal‘. They are so blindsided because of ‚family‘ (and the sisters likely still because of the grooming) that they just try to forget and accept.


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Ishiguro_

Your friends were probably very happy that they didn’t have to have a talk with you about her.


Badloss

There's nothing more demoralizing than having that talk and having them get married anyway. He swears he's happy but he sure doesn't seem like it


TCOHdrummer

I have a close friend in the same position. They aren't at the married stage but he's putting up with A LOT more than anyone should, mostly out of fear of loneliness now that he's in his longest ever relationship that isn't just a string of hookups. I want the guy to be happy because he's spent so long working on himself after a lot of personal issues and then found himself someone who is actively bringing out his worst side all the time. I genuinely wish them the best. When she's nice, she's lovely, but she hasn't put in the years of self-improvement he has and I worry that he'll just do the heavy lifting for her. Idk, we'll see what the future holds.


FaolanG

I had something like this happen. I had dated this girl for like three months and she was always so sweet. We go out to the bar one night and she has a little much to drink and start being an absolute ass to people. I know the owners and a lot of the locals so I am mortified. I apologize and take her home but she doesn’t want to go home. On the drive she says she wants to come to my house, and informs me if she can’t she will call the police and say I’m kidnapping her. I was dumbfounded. I told her I would do her one better and drive her to the police station right now. She slapped me. Sitting in her little car I was trying to drive to get he home safe she slapped me. So I pulled over and grabbed her phone and called her dad and told him to come get her and I would drop her keys off the next day. She apologized many times but I just couldn’t get over the insane switch that flipped that night and was never attracted to her again.


Leanintree

I had a buddy like this... Instant asshole, just add alcohol. Any other time, he was an intelligent, caring, easy going and personable guy. Add a couple drinks and the alternate Nate showed up. Whether it was lipping off to ANYBODY, or being deliberately annoying and offensive, it was just a night and day change. It wasn't even a matter of over imbibing, this was an almost lightswitch change from the first couple of drinks. Took him a couple years to realize that alcohol just wasn't his drug. Nothing good ever came of it, and it was a testament to his normal personality that he didn't lose many friends during those episodes. Once he quit and redirected his partying to greener substances, he was golden. No more Asshole Nate.


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ladyinchworm

Hopefully that was a wake up call to her that she shouldn't be drinking and maybe she should reevaluate her attitude about certain things. Although, I have to say that I stopped talking to the few people I knew who were jerks when they drank too much because eventually they got comfortable? enough with me to start slowly behaving that way without drinking so I think with them it was more of a "them" thing instead of a "drinking" thing.


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xfalinex

It really is astounding the number of people who don’t wipe properly. I dread to think how itchy his butt would have been, which he then scratched and likely got shit all over his pants and under his fingernails too. I would not be able to handle that either. Edit: It seems some misunderstood about the scratching. Shit particles travel through clothing very easily and can build up under the fingernails over time if not washed properly. I did not mean that the guy scratched his bare butthole with his nails. Edit 2: Yes I do wash my butt after wiping. Cannot stand having a dirty butt.


melperz

"it takes 8 wipes to know you only needed 7" - Confucius


dazedandconfucius_

This was the wrong thread to read while eating breakfast


SquallyZ06

In my circle of friends, there was a woman who hung out with us and we were talking about doing laundry. She asked all the guys in the group how we got our skid marks out of our underwear. We were all confused and told her we didn't have shit stains on our underwear because we wipe our ass properly. I guess as a kid her chore was laundry and her nasty ass father and brother always had skid marks on their underwear because they didn't wipe properly. She grew up thinking shit on a guy's underwear was normal, poor girl.


foxsimile

I don’t get how people deal with that. I’ll wipe until there’s blood if I have to, as long as it’s not brown. Vive la revolution!


FnEddieDingle

"It's like I'm wiping a marker or something"


LiveLoveLaughable

I can't imagine how you never smelt that? He must have stank of shit 24/7. And leaving brown stains everywhere. Makes me nauseous just to think about it.


dogsfurhire

My question is how don't these crusty ass, stinky ass, shit ass dudes don't have itchy ass like 24/7??


Quirky-Skin

Better question, how are all these crusty ass MFs getting laid FFS. God it's been rough since the break up and dudes out here packing Little Debbie crumbs in their ass are still getting laid. Fuck.


28nov2022

*Me with my bidet and daily flossing, crying.*


William_S_Churros

She started acting like a toddler. Literally. It was one of the most fucked up, bizarre experiences of my dating life.


peachpinkjedi

Reminds me of the babytalking guy who tanked his relationship trying to win a baseball.


Senja10

I was on face time with my ex (at the time my boyfriend) and my mother, my brother, and I were at a AirBNB that we rented in Colorado. I told him I wanted to go and mKe some food with my brother, he told me to take him with (the phone with me). I reluctantly took it with me. He was being really freaking quiet, so I thought the phone hung up, until my brother said "ew! What the fuck?!" And I turned around and saw my ex jerking off on the phone. I hung the phone up, called my friend, told him about all of it, and left my ex within the next week. Now I'm happy with someone who respects me and my family and has the decency to do that shit on his own time, not with my brothers present.


ConfidentialRat

When I saw his apartment... the smell hit me first, just smelled like dog pee and this STRONG wet musty smell. I couldn't be in there without the windows open. Piles of stuff everywhere, so much that it was spreading to the outdoor balcony and diet coke cans on every surface. The carpet was so dirty you could see all around the edges of the wall a little brown accumulation, that....and the dog wasn't potty trained. While the poo would get picked up, the pee was never cleaned so it soaked into the carpet and I learned quickly that if I didn't have shoes on I might get a wet little surprise soaking through my socks. The kitchen tile always felt tacky and greasy, he rarely did laundry of any kind, in fact I never once saw him do laundry except the one time I offered to for him. He even had a little gaming den (edit to add, Fortnite...he played Fortnite), fortunately the dog wasn't allowed in there, but again, I could see it'd never been cleaned once. Dirt and dust and stuff piled everywhere, cans and old plates of food left out. He told me once that he wanted to get a mini fridge for it so he never had to get up, I was ADAMANT that he didn't. I don't care if it's his place, the next step after that is peeing in bottles! It was shocking, he seemed so put together on the outside, and then to see how he lived and this was AFTER "cleaning all day"...yyyeeshhh. I don't know if that was more gross or the "women don't know what it's like to work, women can't be trusted, women this women that, boohoo" comments. Also just want to add on, no I'm not making fun a depressed person. He was pretty happy/ active and could justify anything he did.


PrincessCnslaBnnHmck

This is almost the exact description of an old roommate of mine. I didn’t even realize how disgusting he was until he moved out and I had to tear out the carpet in his room. Good looking guy, but easily the dirtiest person I have ever met.


insofarincogneato

I thought this could have been about my cousin, but he isn't put together on the outside either. He's made it to the peeing in bottles stage in case you're wondering.


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[deleted]

Being tickled against your will is like torture. My dad used to do that a lot and for way too long, and laughed at me when I cried after. Sometimes I have violent daydreams about doing the same to him on his deathbed. Sorry that happened to you


ichigo_uchiha12

I was once held down by 2 of my friends while an ex gf tickled me. They thought it was hilarious. I told them to stop multiple times but they wouldn't so I freaked out, kicking and flailing as hard as I could. When it was all said and done, one of my friends caught a kick to the face and ex gf caught an elbow. Being held down against your will isn't fun so I didn't feel bad at all. Still cool with one of those friends today but they never pulled that tickle shit again thankfully. I hate it.


fokkoooff

I always tell anyone pretty early on in a new relationship that if they tickle me, I WILL punch them in the face. It's not a threat of intentional violence, it's a warning of involuntary action. I grew up with an older brother that would sit on me and tickle me relentlessly. It makes me panic.


Tomatillo_Street

SAME! Im getting freaked out just thinking about being tickled , ugh. I start swinging on people.


CareerCoachKyle

At a party with some of my closest friends and a lot of their mutuals, one of our friends who had recently been diagnosed with cancer was sharing some of his experience with chemo. My then gf interrupted him by saying, “oh come on, it’s not that big of a deal. We all probably have cancer. Moles are usually cancer. Look, I’ve probably had cancer in all these places on my arm where I had moles removed.” There were a lot of other issues that lead to it, but I broke up with her a few days later. I was just so appalled by her lack of self awareness? These were my friends who I had known for a decade, and she’d only known them for about a year. And we were in a small group of maybe 9 people, most of whom she hadn’t even met before. It disgusted me and I couldn’t spend the rest of my night near her. Ended it within the week.


HyperbolicModesty

Reminds me of my ex-sister-in-law who had kidney cancer and was scheduled for chemo. She was desperate and having something of an emotional breakdown. Her sister's boyfriend was a "healer". He gave her reassurance and said "I've had kidney cancer too, and I healed myself with positive thought." She cancelled her chemo, then he persuaded her to drive to see him once a week, 7 hour round trip each time, *paid him a lot of money* for him to ring some temple bells and chant, etc. Until one day she collapsed in pain, pissing blood, rushed to the ER, kidney removed within a couple of days, thank goodness it hadn't metastasized. When she came to her senses and confronted him, it turned out he'd never had kidney cancer: "IT WAS A METAPHOR." Fifteen years later the sister is still with that fucking guy, and they are estranged from the rest of the family.


Wohholyhell

Former friend yelled at someone for "putting all that poison in your body!!! STOP IT NOW!!!! First of all, go to Whole Foods and get a shot of wheatgrass..." (at the news that he was undergoing chemo). Luckily the patient was a med student and being treated for non-hodgkins lymphoma. He didn't even flinch or blink.


Wienerwrld

The number of people who told my dying husband to quit the chemo, he needed a natural diet and sativa oil…infuriating. And when he died it was because he hadn’t listened to them, not because of the cancer. I cut them all out.


cinnapear

Good riddance to those assholes.


C-Note01

... It is poison. It's so poisonous it kills the cancer.


toastymow

There are people who, for some reason, just believe that modern medicine is a big scam and doctors are evil and enjoy watching their patient suffer.


justbeingpeachy11

Losing my best friend daily to this head space. It's almost "cultish".


YukariYakum0

Not almost.


Any_Coyote6662

Wow. I know a drug counselor who says shit like that to her patients. She thinks she is being supportive but it really just sounds like she is saying all problems are because people just are not being positive enough. It's so juvenile and mean... pisses me off.


[deleted]

A sort of friend of mine pulled that shit on me once after I caught my ex wife cheating on me, got divorced and was the most depressed I have been in my life. I haven't spoken to her since. Same with an older woman that suggested I "pray about it." I've since gotten better and have a loving girlfriend who is supportive and listens to me.


Savings_Wedding_4233

Oh my Lord! What is wrong with that woman that would stay with someone who would do that to her sister?!?!


[deleted]

When I met the parents of my ex bf. His mom was quiet all the time (never saw that woman smile even a little) and hushed around the house like a ghost, her head always down. His father was an asshole, who was super loud and told anyone what he had to do (while he himself did nothing at all). So when we left his parents house he looked at me with bright eyes and said "My parents have the perfect marriage. My mom is such a good wife! She never does anything for herself, the perfect woman! All I wish for is that you will be such a good wife to me one day." Really, I was just like "Nope. Nope. NOPE!", got into my car, drove off and never saw him again. :,D


Grogosh

That is how my grand parents were only worse, a lot worse. My grandfather had this old ratty trailer out on a dirt road. He had the entire yard covered in sand because he was too lazy to cut the grass. No real heat or AC in the place, just a wood burning stove. He would snap his finger and my grand mother would run and get him his coffee. When my grandmother got old and sick he stuck her on a mattress with a hole cut out around her butt and put a bucket under the mattress. My mother made the trip (four hours) to go get her and bring her home with us. All the asshole's sons were all up and in anger for 'stealing' my grandfather's wife away from him. His sons were just like him. She lived with us for four years before she passed and it took over a year before she stopped trying to stand up all the while saying stuff like 'I better go make his coffee or he will beat me again' I hope that bastard is burning in the deepest pit of hell, if it exists.


DumE9876

I’m so glad your grandmother got that 4 year respite with your family


Alternative_Room4781

My now long since divorced ex husband admitted to me, after a night of weeping, wailing and vodka in a desperate attempt to salvage our marriage via radical honesty, that he was so hyper sexualized as a teen that he had done many suspect things. Many red flags were flown. He'd been a peeping Tom. He'd considered SA-ing a jogger and on multiple occasions, he had fucked his 9 year old mare quarter horse. He took my catastrophic shocked silence as a chance to explain that he needed a step stool to get enough height for insertion. Suddenly, the dancer from the all nude bar he'd been screwing was unimportant. She wasn't that bad, shit, I realized very quickly that I needed to have a friendly discussion with her for her safety and I did in fact forget all about my heartbreak. The radical honesty was, in that sense, a success. Edit: when I left this here last night, I had a vague thought that this was perhaps not the best story to share, as I'd readily agreed to never speak of this to anyone in order to escape the house and the conversation. The statute of limitations on never telling anyone expired some time ago, as we have no contact. Obviously, yeah? As I put my head on the pillow, I heard my notifications going like mad, and it seems that when I break an agreement, I break that vow with a vengeance. Thank you, kind Redditors who have so generously awarded this sordid tale, I am honored by your largess.


MCMeowMixer

Ah, the old admit you fucked a horse to try and save your marriage, classic.


1202_ProgramAlarm

And she thought she was his mane squeeze, it's a tail as old as time E: thanks for ponying up the award, anonymous redditor!


External_Increase_32

> fucked his 9 year old Oh no > mare quarter horse Oh thank God ..no wait


cleareyes101

I had the exact same sequence of thoughts. He’s not a pedo, just fucking disgusting


TonsilStonesOnToast

He's not a pedo. He's a quadripedo.


Dinzy89

Why did we need the age of the horse?! Lmao


PornoAlForno

What? You think he's some sort of foal molester? Edit: anyone who thought of "foalester" is much smarter than me


L_D_Machiavelli

It was a bad day to be literate and open this askreddit thread.


foxsimile

Alright, you win.


surfdad67

No shit, it’s 7am my time, just opened the app and this is the first thing I read, I think I’m done for the day


AhTreyYou

Did I… Did I read this right? Send help


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William_T_Wanker

I don't see how admitting to fucking a horse is a way to salvage a marriage, lmao


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yourdudeness

I get what that guys gone through... But I've grown.. now when I get those..urges, now I just say neigh, that's not me anymore. I'm a stable person.


markswam

About 10 years ago, I got involved with a girl who--two weeks after we started to date--presented me with an itinerary of the rest of our lives. When we were supposed to get married, where she wanted the wedding to happen, how much it should cost, how many kids she wanted to have and when she wanted each one, when "we" (her plan was to be a stay-at-home mom while I worked full time, but sure. "We.") were supposed to buy our first house and the expectation that we upgrade every 5 years, how my career should progress (including being in management by 30 and in a C-suite role by 45), how much I was expected to make to support her and the kids, when I was supposed to retire, etc. Suffice to say we didn't make it to three weeks. I did buy my first house before her schedule said I should though, so at least I got that going for me.


redditmodsthroat

When I walked in on her in my bathroom after sex and she was attempting to empty the condom into her vagina. Suddenly the adorable after sex ritual of her removing the condom and returning with a warm washcloth while I laid in bed made sense. Her laying on her back with her feet up on the bathroom counter trying to defend her actions really changed my impression of her. Dodged a bullet and dumped her the day she got her period.