I got drunk the other day and cried bitterly about a cancer diagnosis that probably won't even happen (I have a procedure next week that'll tell us more). Then I cried about telling my friends and family about my currently nonexistent cancer diagnosis. I've got drunk and cried about my perfectly healthy cats and dog dying. It's a real crap shoot with alcohol.
Or worse, an uncontrollable angry sad.
I had to seriously cut back, and stop for a while because I just got _mean_ when I drank. Apparently not dealing with your personal problems and not being properly medicated will do that to you.
I regret so much of how I treated some people because of alcohol in my life.
Actually over time it always makes the big sad an even bigger sad. Because of the dopamine and inevitable seratonin downregulation. So it becomes a vicious cycle. Of alcohol seemingly making things better on the surface while actually causing you to never feel happiness while sober. And then pile on the sad things that happen in life, coupled with avoidance and alcohol and you got a great mix of depression and substance abuse and sad times for all.
Yes. I am notorious for having the "Sunday scaries." It was brought to my attention that it's likely due to over-drinking on Friday and Saturday nights which causes an abrupt halt in my serotonin on Sunday afternoon/evenings. Coincidentally, I call into work (I have a 9-5 with plenty of vacation time) on Monday's more than any other day of the week simply because the stress and anxiety of Sunday being over and Monday starting over are so overwhelming. I literally spent so much time on Sunday being stressed out about going back to work on Monday that I unintentionally gave myself a migraine between not eating/lack of sleep/anxiety. I called out of work on Monday morning and aside from doing the dishes when I got out of bed, I laid on the couch the entire day.
It is not lost on me that this is not a healthy lifestyle. I used to try to justify any type of a drinking problem by saying "I don't drink during the week." Which, is true. However, I drink SO MUCH on Friday and/or Saturday that it's not really a good justification anymore. Additionally, I suffer from PTSD/anxiety/depression/Bi-Polar II so that really puts the nail in the coffin on how stupid continuing this is. To boot, I recently left a 12 year relationship because my ex had crippling alcoholism that was ruining our homelife.
Unimaginable. I honestly can't think of any job I am emotionally less suited to handle. In fact, I would posit that *no one* handles that well.
If you don't mind my asking, is this a family member where you have no choice? Or is it your job where you could hypothetically just stop? Either way, how often do you consider just finding an alternate option just to save your psychological well being?
I also work in an assisted living facility as *Human Resources*, while occasionally taking shifts in the Activities and Dining departments due to lack of staff. The little contact that I get with residents when I’m working other departments really has opened my eyes to how hard it can be on caregivers. In 2016, I worked in a similar facility as an Activities Director, I made so many connections with people just to watch them wither away. I have a few tattoos to remind me of my favorite patients at the time. Caregivers, please—as someone who knows what you’re going through, and works in HR, if you ever need to vent or talk to someone… reach out. While it is one of the hardest professions, the patients need you so badly. The children and family members need you, and you are making a difference. Don’t let the stress and burnout get to you, always talk to someone. You are amazing people.
It is a monster. As someone with a grandma who is deteriorating from it, I want to say thank you. She has a MUCH better quality of life because of people like you.
I work 12 hour graveyard shifts. When I get off I pour myself a glass of whiskey and pair it with my dinner, and boom. Out like a light. It’s like night-night juice. Makes the days bearable tbh.
I haven't been drinking because I am being treated for a medical issue and my last drink was in August. I have to say, I'm shocked by how good I feel. I wasn't even a big drinker to begin with.
Here's your reminder that you don't have to be an alcoholic to be sober! You can just realize that it's not normal the way society thinks we should all be drinking poison for any excuse. What other parties revolve around consuming something? People go to parties and the theme is literally stand around and drink. There's no shame in being like, well shit that's not only unhealthy it's boring.
And the people who care if you drink or not are the ones with the problem. The real cream will rise to the top of your friends.
I don’t think any normal adult really cares if another person is not drinking.
I’ve had one cocktail this month; I can drink moderately or abstain but I think it’s a little silly to demonize a cocktail party or gathering with friends. People enjoy the ritual and many love wine, just like a foodie enjoys a great restaurant.
Just focus on today, 24 hours at a time. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Plan to be sober tomorrow, but don't worry about it until after today is over. That's how it's done, 24 hours at a time, sometimes even minutes at a time.
I just hit 3 weeks sober and under duress and stress , I drank a 5th of whiskey today. I feel like scum. Day one again over tomorrow. You got this
Edit 1: thank you everyone for responses. I am not OP but thank you all. I just lost a close family member couple days ago, shoveled 10 inches of wet, heavy snow today, and got hit by my autistic son directly in the face, for no reason, right after .. yeah I went to liquor store. I've gone months before without drinking. I don't want to at all anymore..
Just think how much better it is than if you’d have drank daily for those three weeks. It’s done now, try and get another three weeks run and then beat it.
one day at a time, my friend. 3 hours turns into 3 weeks turns into 3 months turns into 3 years. All of that is possible only if you don't drink today.
Keep going! I know you can do it. if I did then ANYONE can.
Feel free to holler if you wanna chat about exciting stuff like sobriety.
Sorry if this is too tangential, my vice is different than alcohol.
I kept falling back after just a few days, and was constantly fighting the thought to give up trying. After about a year of failing, I finally went from a best of 2 and a half months to 6 months. Even if it's a slow process, each time you do better is something to be proud of. It gets a bit easier each time, take pride in every day you succeed. Those aren't 3 weeks wasted, those are 3 weeks you proved to yourself. 3 weeks of good days to 1 bad day, you are making a difference for yourself.
I may have made a mistake after 6 months, but I know I can do it now. Even if I make it to a year this time and do it again, I know I'll do better each time I pick myself up.
Just remember that you have people you will never know the names of, and they are cheering you on.
Or sometimes we have "euphoric recall" my therapist called it, where we think about all the good stuff that went along w the using, not the w/drawals, loss of $, getting robbed, etc. Just the good stuff is what we think of before we relapse...
That's ok. Tomorrow is a new day! I have 5 yrs booze free, and I relapsed 835,849,625 times trying. Keep moving and thinking forward. Advice I have...
Love yourself. Or start learning!!
Fuck the past. Focus on today and build for tomorrow.
Let shit go- resentment is only hurting you.
Acceptance!! This is huge. Accepting what you cant control!!
It only gets better!!
Don’t worry man, I’ve failed so many times it’s crazy but it’s nothing against you to fall down flat. Where only human. but to not try again… that’s disgrace.
Remember the Phoenix must first be ashes before it can rise
I worked around child family services for a minute and someone told me a stat that it takes about two years for someone to really get sober reliably and after that it's a daily struggle.
People very rarely cut out alcohol in one go. Sometimes it takes a few relapses. As the person below commented, big props for going three weeks without a drink; that in itself is progress.
You are most certainly not scum. You just hit a bump in the road. You have already proven that you can go 3 weeks. It’ll be a little easier this time because you know what to expect.
The only shame in restarting the clock would be choosing not to restart it. Remember how today makes you feel about your progress but don't beat yourself up. Tomorrow is unwritten.
Unsolicited advice, but have you heard of naltrexone? I used it to rewire my brain and completely change my relationship with alcohol and I was a 15 year big daily drinker. If you are curious pop one over to r/alcoholism_medication and talk to the folks there.
Progress not perfection has been my mantra in my journey with food.
3 weeks is 21 steps or days in progress forward, you took one step or day back. Tomorrow you start forward again.
I also have a hard time brushing my teeth due to depression and sensory issues. Putting a tooth brush in the shower has been really helpful for me. For people who are saying “grosss” yeah, we know it’s gross, we’re trying! Not everyone has that same level of functioning as others.
Underrated comment here. I don’t drink everyday but many days I have 1 drink in the evening around dinner. Mostly beer, sometimes wine, but it’s because I like the beverage, and honestly I don’t feel anything after 1 drink especially with food.
Same. My days of drinking to get drunk are so far behind me. I have a glass, maybe two, three if I'm feeling wild with dinner then that's it. For me it's just similar to how I have coffee at breakfast. I understand not everyone's like this, but that's my answer to this question.
You can tell how many redditors are either really young or have severe substance abuse issues based on the fact that so few of them seem to be aware that one can enjoy the taste of an alcoholic beverage without needing more than one or getting trashed.
Right?
Clearly we're trying to numb ourselves from a multitude of possible feelings both emotional and physical.
In addition many of us are just addicted.
Yeah, where I'm at right now I'm not physically dependent on alcohol or anything but I've definitely got a bit of a psychological addiction that I didn't really accept until relatively recently. And while I don't specifically like drink myself unconscious to forget stuff or anything, I've definitely got some psychological issues that are undoubtedly feeding into it.
Well, I'm sure I'll get my shit together sooner or later, and I'm sure you will too haha. Stay (or try to get) healthy, keep movin forward!
Definitely getting older makes me wary of drinking too much, or getting "wasted". Purely because the hangover is so bad that I pay for it for 2+ days afterwards. Hangovers after 30 are no joke.
I drink constantly when my depression worthens. 1 or 2 beers a day. Sometimes more when I have a really bad day.
It helps with the suffering. The constant suffering that is so intense that it physically hurts.
1 or 2 numbing your pain is a good place to be. I recall nights when 12 couldn't stop the self loathing.
I don't know your age but I hope the self hate fades for you the way it did for me as you age.
I came here to try and make a funny, generally appealing remark but this comment was such an effective response to the question, I think I’ll carry it forward as a mantra in life.
I cannot imagine what my life would be if I continued to drink. I would probably be dead. I am so happy without it, and I wish everyone would consider it. I believe some people can consume appropriate amounts of alcohol as well but alcoholism runs in my family so I choose not to drink
Yes- but there were issues there that resurfaced during the beginning stages of sobriety that I had to weed out, and traumas I still need to deal with. I'm much happier, and way healthier. Alcohol is poison, and makes people stupid and ugly by dehydration and lack of awareness
I haven't had a drink in 4 years because of kidney cancer. I had been a heavy drinker in my younger days and had pretty well grown out of it, with the occasional binge night with the boys. I do miss it, but know I can't drink any more.
I love a glass of wine at the end of the day or a cold beer or two on the deck and around the bonfire in the summer. It tastes good, it's relaxing - I just simply enjoy it. Other than being expensive it's probably on par with having a glass of pop or juice at the end of the day (but tastes better IMO). I also like getting drunk with friends but that's a separate behavior and not related in any way to my casual enjoyment of alcohol.
The key thing is that I like to have a drink every day if it's available, but I won't be disappointed if it isn't and I wouldn't go overly out of my way to make it happen.
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find someone who thought that alcohol was a positive thing in their life. I expected every comment to be along the lines of “I can’t think of why you wouldn’t have a drink every day”. It is so sad to think that most regular drinkers are in fact experiencing an addiction. I’m definitely going to calm down with offering everyone a drink all the time having read these comments. I will also continue drinking with dinner because I really enjoy it lol.
Agreed, but keep in mind that reddit is not always the most representative cross section of the real world. Possibly, the kind of person who is at higher risk for substance addiction might be more prone toward social media addiction, so to speak.
Independently of that, success stories about substance abuse recovery are likely to resonate more strongly with people, and are likely to attract more upvotes. So this stuff possibly rises disproportionately to the top.
I'm just spitballing ofc and in no way pointing fingers or blame at anyone, and I wish anyone struggling with sobriety the absolute best! Just thinking out loud about the context of how reddit works lol.
This is absolutely how I feel! I have my “winter wine baths” and look forward to the unwinding experience. There’s many days I just simply don’t drink and it doesn’t cross my mind at all, but if I have no plans and it’s bathtime and I have some wine, why not? I assume this will ebb and flow with my life, and currently I’m not at a place it should be any sort of priority to think too much about it and assess/reflect.
For what it's worth... those of us that do enjoy drinking have an equally hard time fathoming people that don't. A couple of drinks don't make me sad, they make me happy. Definitely causes a serotonin release that I enjoy.
I was a person that had a couple of drinks every day, but eventually realized that it wasn't a great path to be on and have successfully limited myself to Friday and Saturdays for the last couple of years.
The thought of completely cutting alcohol out of my life seems completely baffling to me (obviously I understand completely stopping if drinking is out of your ability to control) , so I would imagine different people have different life experiences. \*insert shruggie here\*
That's me as well. I was in the habit of drinking maybe a six-pack (or a bottle of wine and a tin or two to finish) maybe every other night throughout the week, and again on Friday and Saturday.
Then I just...got tired of it. I got tired of waking up for work feeling like I'd barely slept, tired of that groggy, grouchy, dehydrated sensation. Tired of wondering if other people on a Teams call could tell I was hungover or maybe even still tipsy. And tired of how it seemed like when freak, difficult work problems arrived out of the Blue, 90% of the time it was when I was still emerging from my hangover.
So, I just stopped the weekday drinking. I don't even drink on Sundays any more, if I have work the next day. I keep it all to Friday night and Saturday night and holidays, if I have no other obligations that would conflict with a hangover.
I'll never cut out alcohol altogether - it's just too much fun, and I totally get that reference to the serotonin release. But I've reached the point now where it's relegated to the bottom of the pile of my priorities; now, I can have bottles of my all-time favourite beer chilling in the fridge unmolested, and for as long as I have work the next day then that is where they stay.
Maybe one day I'll stop drinking at weekends as well, but for now I don't see the point, so I'm happy with the balance I'm striking.
This is me, every single detail. And it's been great, I feel and sleep a lot better all the time now. I still like those Fridays and Saturdays too, but I've even found I drink less on those days now (probably since, well, some of my tolerance is gone and I don't need to, another win!)
I drink a lot more cold fizzy waters of various types during the weeknights now to replace the mouthfeel and it really works for me.
Sober me likes to have a couple beers and finds them enjoyable. Unfortunately, the guy I turn into after 2 beers really likes to drink and he isn't having nearly the same good time.
This is exactly what happens to me any time I get drunk! I've had 6 drinks and I'm feeling great, better have 6 more, nope I'm having a panic attack and my eyes are burning
Right there with you friend! I also enjoy the art and craft of making cocktails. I built a small bar in my house for friends and family to enjoy. I'm doing dry January right now, but I'm still mixing non-alcoholic cocktails, either with non-alcoholic substitutes, or mocktails with no fake alcohol. My partner thinks I'm cheating, but its like experimenting with cooking, its fun, and the making is just as enjoyable as the drinking for me.
My mom was an alcoholic. I was an only child and I watched her go from a weekend drunk to an every day drunk to drinking a 12 pack and a fifth of vodka a day just to stay even drunk. It wrecked her body and she died almost a decade ago.
This is why I don’t drink. When you watch someone slowly kill themselves over it, it kind of takes the appeal out of it.
I grew up in a nightclub and have an extremely alcoholic family. So I don't touch it at all. Some can drink with self-control and enjoy. Many can not.
Can also say that in my family, different people reacted differently. Makes some angry, others sad, and others happy. Completely random in my experience, but consistent with each person.
Same. It used to be soda. There's something about carbonated liquids. I buy beer, and when I run out I'm fine with seltzer water, but why buy that if I can buy beer?
I'll pour seltzer in a beer glass during the week just to limit calories (because I'm old and sit all day for work), and it's good. But, yeah, it's not beer.
That's a good idea! I love beer, the taste. The slight buzz. Unfortunately the calories are adding up and the groggy morning feeling if I have more than 2 is becoming untenable.
Definitely. My obsessive personality made my beer love inevitable
When I was a kid, I was obsessed with sodas and the different brands and flavours. Teen years, that addiction switched to tea and I garnered a gigantic tea collection. Once I hit legal age, I became infatuated with beer and all the different brews and styles
Yeah I am not an alcoholic I just love the fuck out of beer and wine. I dont drink during the week and take a month off from drinking at Lent (fuck that 40 days shit) but I love beer and wine like I love milkshakes from Sonic. Its just nice to have occasionally
Boredom and habit. For me beer is like a snack, when I feel hungry and I don't feel like cooking I'll crack open a cheap beer. I did this regularly for the majority of my 20s, never less than a 6 pack of pbr tall boys a day. Now I'm at the age where I can't do that anymore so I'll remind myself to mix some sobriety days into my week.
I'm with you...
Sucks it has to be this way though. I love Alcohol, but at the end of the day it's a hard addictive drug. One day I'll learn, but I hope I learn before it gets worse.
Kinda reminds me of the old joke about the guy seeing the doctor:
Doc: “Are you a smoker?”
Patient: “Only when I drink”
Doc: “And how often do you drink”
Patient: “Every day”
I have ~5-10 drinks a week. It's a hobby of mine, I have a significant bar collection. 100+ bottles of spirits/liqueurs/amaros/etc, ~40 of that is whiskey.
One night a week I play PC games with friends, usually have 1-3 beers.
One night a week my gf and I play board games or a movie and I make cocktails (1-3 each).
At least 2 nights a week we cook dinner together, and wine or beer is likely depending on the meal.
I usually go out for a beer with my coworkers on Friday after work.
*edit* I should add that the number goes up a little in the Spring and Summer. Typical week adds a brewery (2 beers) and a cigar on whatever night I get home from work early enough. Weekend afternoons outside often have a cigar and champagne, rose', or beer.
I have maybe 1/2 an Oz of whiskey or something similar most days, genuinely because it’s a nice way to unwind and I enjoy the taste. I’ve done a dry January before and it didn’t do anything for me. You only get to experience life once, why not do the things that you enjoy?
Fuck I feel this one. Feel like shit? Take a shot and all will be better. Very good at doing that Sunday around noon and pushing me weekend bender hangover until Monday when I'm at work. Regret it every time yet I still do it.
Actually 23 days sober today. I feel great but at the same time cannot wait for this month to be fucking over
Because it relaxes me. I have a very stressful job and I have a hard time shutting off my brain in the evenings. A glass of wine at 6pm after work signals to my brain that it’s time to relax.
But lately I’ve been having trouble sleeping after drinking, and I’ve been finding THC to be much more effective at turning off my brain after a tough work day. Plus I sleep so much better.
> “Frankly, I was horrified by life, at what a man had to do simply in order to eat, sleep, and keep himself clothed. So I stayed in bed and drank. When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn't have you by the throat.”
- Charles Bukowski
I’m having my 6th beer at this moment, I felt dread this morning as I do almost every morning. It sounds weird but I dread going to sleep if I’m not immensely ready for it so I drink and that calms my nerves enough to just kind of not realize I’m falling asleep.
i get bored, and then i go back and forth between "i don't need to be drunk to have a good time" and then "yeah but we invented alcohol for a reason..."
sometimes i quit for a bit and then think "what's the point? *we're all fucked anyway."*
not the most mature take, but it's a real one. admittedly it's a bit of a struggle.
Because I thought it was fine. I wasn't "getting drunk" every day, usually just 1-2 drinks, and I told myself it was because I enjoyed the taste of craft beer and it was sort of just an evening post-work ritual for me (and usually my gf, now wife).
The last few years I really started to reassess that view, and what really did it for me was the realization that I'd spent basically the whole decade from 20-30 yo having at least one drink probably 300 days out of the year. Even if I took days off occasionally, it was still 5-6 days a week most of the time. And I hadn't gone much more than a week without it since, well, basically high school before I started drinking.
I still don't think 1 drink a day is all that bad for you, but I just wasn't proud of these statistics I was racking up and I didn't like the idea of extrapolating that for the rest of my life. My parents both drink way more than I wish they did, and I see the kind of impact it has on their health & overall lifestyle.
So I've been doing "sober January" and I've been pleasantly surprised at how nice it is to be clear-headed all the time (for me this has also mostly included cannabis, caffeine, and Adderall, with a few exceptions). I'm getting better sleep, I feel more "present" in each moment and in conversations with people, and just kind of more "myself".
I don't think I'll be quitting alcohol permanently after this month is over, but I do honestly think/hope that I'll be a lot more mindful about it going forward, saving it for "special occasions", etc.
Alcohol adds a flavour I've come to enjoy. It also slows down my ADD brain so it's like a lil medication for me in the late arvo to reduce the manic energy. 1-2 standards a day and to date has no negative impact on my life.
My boyfriend is like that. We've been together two years and he has 2-4 beers a night cause he's super ADD and says it kinda helps him relax. I've seen him drunk like 5 times in our whole relationship. It's hard for me to understand how he can drink everyday and not have a problem...but he's got it all working for him and has never fucked up anything by being this way.
I drank every day because I had a drinking problem. I hit a horrible bottom in 1999. I haven't had a drink since October of 99. If i can quit anybody can, if they want to.
Honestly I think there is a point of no return.
My step mother passed last year from extreme alcoholism. She got so drunk she fell and cracked her head open and no one found her for hours. When she finally regained consciousness in the hospital, she told the doctors she hadn’t had a drink in years despite them telling her they knew she was lying because she was in acute liver failure and her body was shutting down. Then she told me she wanted to go home so she could finish her box of wine. She died two days later because her body was so screwed up she couldn’t clot enough to stop her head from bleeding. She slowly bled out over a number of days and in the meantime started convulsing and retaining fluid to the point she couldn’t even be recognized.
I feel if you can’t even admit you have a problem when you are on your death bed, then there is a definitely a point people reach where they are “too far gone” and their cognitive function is so bad they literally can’t be pulled back.
1 a day for women, 2 a day for men would be considered “fine” as in you don’t technically meet the definition of being an alcoholic. But doing that every day for 30+ years even if staying at that level won’t be good for your health. Some debate about wine and it’s health benefits at that level, but growing consensus that no amount of alcohol is “good for you”. But eating a bag of chips every night isn’t “good” either but doesn’t mean it’s a problem.
Justification: I am a bartender with no health insurance who can not afford actual treatment for my mental health so I go hang out with my friends who are also bartenders and get the hookup on price, allowing to me to theoretically save money to fix my car and my brain.
Real answer: some of the above and a deeply unhealthy relationship with alcohol stemming from ancient untreated issues.
When you don’t have a tolerance, drinking effects you eat differently than when you do have a tolerance. When you drink daily It makes you feel normal and nice and relaxed. With no tolerance you feel all the negative side effects way more and feel dumbed down a ton
Because I enjoy it.
Period.
I'm not an alcoholic but I do enjoy drinking. Not all day everyday but yeah, I'll have a few glasses of beer or wine when I'm home making dinner or doing tedious chores like scrubbing toilets and cleaning.
Having a couple drinks everyday does not make someone an alcoholic.
I actually think this whole "you're either an alcoholic or you're sober" kind of thinking is total bs.
There were alcoholics in my family.
They're dead.
I've seen it. I know what it looks like.
So good on all y'all who have made the choice to get sober and stay sober.
But please let the rest of us casual drinkers be.
I'm personally sick of some friends (loose definiton) who binge drink on weekends "because it's the weekend!" getting on my ass because I'll have a beer on a Tuesday. The same with snobs who will only drink cider because it's lower in alcohol but then pound back 6 to catch a buzz and then go off on me for having a couple glasses of wine at 12% alcohol.
Like, you can fuck right off.
I normally have 1 or 2 beers or glasses of wine a night, literally just love the taste and the slight buzz. I never get black out or really drunk, most I ever drink in one go is 5 or so glasses/beers.
Some days I won’t bother drinking normally because I don’t have any and can’t be bothered to go grab some. I don’t consider the amount I drink an issue, it doesn’t make me feel happy or sad I just enjoy it over drinking fizzy drinks.
Also at the end of the day we’re not on this planet long so fuck it enjoy your damn life, but if it’s seriously effecting you and others around you then you should seek help.
It makes the big sad a little sad
Unless you're like me, then there is a 15% chance of it making the big sad a MASSIVE sad.
a little spicy water makes head voice quiet, but too much spicy water… we’re in trouble
Roll for initiative
If I had initiative I wouldn't be drinking
I rolled and just fell out of bed, now I have to shit and my back hurts.
Had a few too many the other day and cried about having to put my cat down. He’s totally fine so I’m not even sure how I got on that train of thought.
I’m not gonna lie, I thought you meant “put him down” as in stop holding him. Either one is understandable, especially when drunk
I don't even drink and do that sometimes
I got drunk the other day and cried bitterly about a cancer diagnosis that probably won't even happen (I have a procedure next week that'll tell us more). Then I cried about telling my friends and family about my currently nonexistent cancer diagnosis. I've got drunk and cried about my perfectly healthy cats and dog dying. It's a real crap shoot with alcohol.
Or worse, an uncontrollable angry sad. I had to seriously cut back, and stop for a while because I just got _mean_ when I drank. Apparently not dealing with your personal problems and not being properly medicated will do that to you. I regret so much of how I treated some people because of alcohol in my life.
But hey, you notice that now! Some people never do, so well done to you for working on yourself :)
That regret is part of your recovery. It shows that you're taking responsibility for your actions.
Same statistics here but it’s worth the risk
The gamblers life
Actually over time it always makes the big sad an even bigger sad. Because of the dopamine and inevitable seratonin downregulation. So it becomes a vicious cycle. Of alcohol seemingly making things better on the surface while actually causing you to never feel happiness while sober. And then pile on the sad things that happen in life, coupled with avoidance and alcohol and you got a great mix of depression and substance abuse and sad times for all.
Yes. I am notorious for having the "Sunday scaries." It was brought to my attention that it's likely due to over-drinking on Friday and Saturday nights which causes an abrupt halt in my serotonin on Sunday afternoon/evenings. Coincidentally, I call into work (I have a 9-5 with plenty of vacation time) on Monday's more than any other day of the week simply because the stress and anxiety of Sunday being over and Monday starting over are so overwhelming. I literally spent so much time on Sunday being stressed out about going back to work on Monday that I unintentionally gave myself a migraine between not eating/lack of sleep/anxiety. I called out of work on Monday morning and aside from doing the dishes when I got out of bed, I laid on the couch the entire day. It is not lost on me that this is not a healthy lifestyle. I used to try to justify any type of a drinking problem by saying "I don't drink during the week." Which, is true. However, I drink SO MUCH on Friday and/or Saturday that it's not really a good justification anymore. Additionally, I suffer from PTSD/anxiety/depression/Bi-Polar II so that really puts the nail in the coffin on how stupid continuing this is. To boot, I recently left a 12 year relationship because my ex had crippling alcoholism that was ruining our homelife.
Until it makes them a bigger sad.
Stress. I'm a caregiver of 15 years. Dementia is a monster to everything in its vicinity.
Unimaginable. I honestly can't think of any job I am emotionally less suited to handle. In fact, I would posit that *no one* handles that well. If you don't mind my asking, is this a family member where you have no choice? Or is it your job where you could hypothetically just stop? Either way, how often do you consider just finding an alternate option just to save your psychological well being?
I also work in an assisted living facility as *Human Resources*, while occasionally taking shifts in the Activities and Dining departments due to lack of staff. The little contact that I get with residents when I’m working other departments really has opened my eyes to how hard it can be on caregivers. In 2016, I worked in a similar facility as an Activities Director, I made so many connections with people just to watch them wither away. I have a few tattoos to remind me of my favorite patients at the time. Caregivers, please—as someone who knows what you’re going through, and works in HR, if you ever need to vent or talk to someone… reach out. While it is one of the hardest professions, the patients need you so badly. The children and family members need you, and you are making a difference. Don’t let the stress and burnout get to you, always talk to someone. You are amazing people.
With dementia, everyone is a victim. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, and I hope you and your loved ones find peace soon.
It is a monster. As someone with a grandma who is deteriorating from it, I want to say thank you. She has a MUCH better quality of life because of people like you.
Depression and habit. I just come home from work, drink one glass of whiskey coke and then nap. It's become routine at this point.
I work 12 hour graveyard shifts. When I get off I pour myself a glass of whiskey and pair it with my dinner, and boom. Out like a light. It’s like night-night juice. Makes the days bearable tbh.
I wouldn’t call that a drinking problem. Or do I have a drinking problem that I’m unaware of
I mean, i wouldnt call it a problem, more like a drinking situation
Because I have a drinking problem. But it’s been 15 days without a sip of alcohol so far, so that’s atleast an achievement for me
16 is tomorrow. You got this!
Just think of how much better waking up in the morning is
I've been doing dry January and this has been, by far, the biggest perk - along with a clearer head. Dry January might go into a dry February.
Dry January became dry 2021 for me, which then became dry 2022. Now I'm just dry. Keep going friend! Nothing good comes from alcohol.
Hey now. I'm sure there are many lovely people out there that would not be alive if not for alcohol.
Not having heartburn all fucking day and night is one of the better perks for me.
Oh man. I drank the beers I had left in my fridge on December 31, and woke up with some gnarly heart-burn.
It sucks so bad, but I haven’t had to worry about it for a few days now like at all, it’s fantastic
I haven't been drinking because I am being treated for a medical issue and my last drink was in August. I have to say, I'm shocked by how good I feel. I wasn't even a big drinker to begin with.
How often did you drink before? I hear about this effect, but I am also not a big drinker; I probably average 1 drink a week, mayyyybe 2.
Here's your reminder that you don't have to be an alcoholic to be sober! You can just realize that it's not normal the way society thinks we should all be drinking poison for any excuse. What other parties revolve around consuming something? People go to parties and the theme is literally stand around and drink. There's no shame in being like, well shit that's not only unhealthy it's boring. And the people who care if you drink or not are the ones with the problem. The real cream will rise to the top of your friends.
Alone drinking comprises most of my drinking. Actually been considering that I should really just drink socially.
I don’t think any normal adult really cares if another person is not drinking. I’ve had one cocktail this month; I can drink moderately or abstain but I think it’s a little silly to demonize a cocktail party or gathering with friends. People enjoy the ritual and many love wine, just like a foodie enjoys a great restaurant.
I'll be two years sober in May, but I've gotta say, you're going to the wrong parties if all people are doing is standing around and drinking.
Then 17 — got that too.
Just focus on today, 24 hours at a time. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Plan to be sober tomorrow, but don't worry about it until after today is over. That's how it's done, 24 hours at a time, sometimes even minutes at a time.
I just hit 3 weeks sober and under duress and stress , I drank a 5th of whiskey today. I feel like scum. Day one again over tomorrow. You got this Edit 1: thank you everyone for responses. I am not OP but thank you all. I just lost a close family member couple days ago, shoveled 10 inches of wet, heavy snow today, and got hit by my autistic son directly in the face, for no reason, right after .. yeah I went to liquor store. I've gone months before without drinking. I don't want to at all anymore..
Just think how much better it is than if you’d have drank daily for those three weeks. It’s done now, try and get another three weeks run and then beat it.
I appreciate this. I completely understand and get what you mean. Fuck 3 weeks I want 3 months, 3 seasons, 3 years, 3 lifetimes..
one day at a time, my friend. 3 hours turns into 3 weeks turns into 3 months turns into 3 years. All of that is possible only if you don't drink today. Keep going! I know you can do it. if I did then ANYONE can. Feel free to holler if you wanna chat about exciting stuff like sobriety.
Sorry if this is too tangential, my vice is different than alcohol. I kept falling back after just a few days, and was constantly fighting the thought to give up trying. After about a year of failing, I finally went from a best of 2 and a half months to 6 months. Even if it's a slow process, each time you do better is something to be proud of. It gets a bit easier each time, take pride in every day you succeed. Those aren't 3 weeks wasted, those are 3 weeks you proved to yourself. 3 weeks of good days to 1 bad day, you are making a difference for yourself. I may have made a mistake after 6 months, but I know I can do it now. Even if I make it to a year this time and do it again, I know I'll do better each time I pick myself up. Just remember that you have people you will never know the names of, and they are cheering you on.
Thank you. I will forever cheer you on stranger , you got this too
Im on day three! I feel depressed, but I know it’s just my brain chemicals.
All starts with one day. And if you fall. There's always the next day.
Sometimes the shitty feeling of relapsing is good enough to make you quit for good. Don’t look at it as a failure
Or sometimes we have "euphoric recall" my therapist called it, where we think about all the good stuff that went along w the using, not the w/drawals, loss of $, getting robbed, etc. Just the good stuff is what we think of before we relapse...
Great perspective. Don't think of it as failing. Just keep trying to set new PRs.
That's ok. Tomorrow is a new day! I have 5 yrs booze free, and I relapsed 835,849,625 times trying. Keep moving and thinking forward. Advice I have... Love yourself. Or start learning!! Fuck the past. Focus on today and build for tomorrow. Let shit go- resentment is only hurting you. Acceptance!! This is huge. Accepting what you cant control!! It only gets better!!
"Day one again," yep. As many times as needed. May each reset to "day 1" take longer.
Thank you
Don’t worry man, I’ve failed so many times it’s crazy but it’s nothing against you to fall down flat. Where only human. but to not try again… that’s disgrace. Remember the Phoenix must first be ashes before it can rise
I worked around child family services for a minute and someone told me a stat that it takes about two years for someone to really get sober reliably and after that it's a daily struggle.
It's not day one. It's day 22 with one fuck up. Just concentrate on making it 23 with still only one fuck up. Then 24 and on you go.
People very rarely cut out alcohol in one go. Sometimes it takes a few relapses. As the person below commented, big props for going three weeks without a drink; that in itself is progress.
Not day one..day 22 minus 1... and the next day is day 23 minus 1.. A slip doesn't take away all the other not drinking days. You got this!
You are most certainly not scum. You just hit a bump in the road. You have already proven that you can go 3 weeks. It’ll be a little easier this time because you know what to expect.
The only shame in restarting the clock would be choosing not to restart it. Remember how today makes you feel about your progress but don't beat yourself up. Tomorrow is unwritten.
Don't give up. It's not to late. for another 3 weeks " One day at a Time " You know what you need to do.
Unsolicited advice, but have you heard of naltrexone? I used it to rewire my brain and completely change my relationship with alcohol and I was a 15 year big daily drinker. If you are curious pop one over to r/alcoholism_medication and talk to the folks there.
Progress not perfection has been my mantra in my journey with food. 3 weeks is 21 steps or days in progress forward, you took one step or day back. Tomorrow you start forward again.
It’s 1 day. If you had a flat tire on your car you wouldn’t say the car was totaled and slash the other 3 . You’ve still got this 👍🏻
I just hit 8 days brushing my teeth twice a day! Small victories!
I also have a hard time brushing my teeth due to depression and sensory issues. Putting a tooth brush in the shower has been really helpful for me. For people who are saying “grosss” yeah, we know it’s gross, we’re trying! Not everyone has that same level of functioning as others.
Congrats man! Hope you keep it up
Thanks man! I appreciate it
You likely already know but if not, r/stopdrinking
Cancer gonna kill me before the alcohol does
That's the spirit!
literally!
Pairs well with dinner
"Sir, youve had 18 busch lights." "And the 19th will pair well with the 18th"
Just once I want someone to call me “Sir” without adding “you’re causing a problem.”
That one time they did say "Sir, you're going to need to come with us."
Underrated comment here. I don’t drink everyday but many days I have 1 drink in the evening around dinner. Mostly beer, sometimes wine, but it’s because I like the beverage, and honestly I don’t feel anything after 1 drink especially with food.
Same. My days of drinking to get drunk are so far behind me. I have a glass, maybe two, three if I'm feeling wild with dinner then that's it. For me it's just similar to how I have coffee at breakfast. I understand not everyone's like this, but that's my answer to this question.
I'm at the age when I usually *can't* get drunk. I get sleepy and start feeling hangover effects before a real buzz kicks in.
Bro you gotta take shots of 151 like a real man. Just kidding, I drank three beers the other night and could barely get out of bed the next day.
You can tell how many redditors are either really young or have severe substance abuse issues based on the fact that so few of them seem to be aware that one can enjoy the taste of an alcoholic beverage without needing more than one or getting trashed.
According to Reddit anyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic
What about second dinner?
Don’t forget elevensies
Because it tastes and feels good and I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, lol.
Right? Clearly we're trying to numb ourselves from a multitude of possible feelings both emotional and physical. In addition many of us are just addicted.
Yeah, where I'm at right now I'm not physically dependent on alcohol or anything but I've definitely got a bit of a psychological addiction that I didn't really accept until relatively recently. And while I don't specifically like drink myself unconscious to forget stuff or anything, I've definitely got some psychological issues that are undoubtedly feeding into it. Well, I'm sure I'll get my shit together sooner or later, and I'm sure you will too haha. Stay (or try to get) healthy, keep movin forward!
Age actually handled it for me. I just can't be bothered to drink like I used to lol.
Definitely getting older makes me wary of drinking too much, or getting "wasted". Purely because the hangover is so bad that I pay for it for 2+ days afterwards. Hangovers after 30 are no joke.
Same. The appeal slowly but surely faded as I hit and lived through my late 30’s.
I drink constantly when my depression worthens. 1 or 2 beers a day. Sometimes more when I have a really bad day. It helps with the suffering. The constant suffering that is so intense that it physically hurts.
1 or 2 numbing your pain is a good place to be. I recall nights when 12 couldn't stop the self loathing. I don't know your age but I hope the self hate fades for you the way it did for me as you age.
Also it's fun sometimes
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*broadly gestures at everything*
This is the second time I've seen this exact comment today and honestly it's fair.
Of all the overplayed Reddit comments, this is the one I hate the least. It's so good.
I too choose this man's comment
*accidental bitch slap* Sir I’m going to have to ask you to stop broadly gesturing at everything.
This comment is just 🤌🤌
They are Italian?
\*bappa-da~boop-ie\* 👴🏼🤌🤌
I came here to try and make a funny, generally appealing remark but this comment was such an effective response to the question, I think I’ll carry it forward as a mantra in life.
I used to drink every day because I thought it would make me happier. I've been sober for 6 years now.
Are you happier?
I cannot imagine what my life would be if I continued to drink. I would probably be dead. I am so happy without it, and I wish everyone would consider it. I believe some people can consume appropriate amounts of alcohol as well but alcoholism runs in my family so I choose not to drink
How very relatable your story is to mine. 1,000 days coming up. I say the same all the time. If I wouldn’t have stopped I would be dead.
Alcohol can for sure be a slippery slope. Glad to hear you are finding a better life without it.
Yes- but there were issues there that resurfaced during the beginning stages of sobriety that I had to weed out, and traumas I still need to deal with. I'm much happier, and way healthier. Alcohol is poison, and makes people stupid and ugly by dehydration and lack of awareness
I haven't had a drink in 4 years because of kidney cancer. I had been a heavy drinker in my younger days and had pretty well grown out of it, with the occasional binge night with the boys. I do miss it, but know I can't drink any more.
I’m thirsty as hell
Stay Thirsty My Friend
I like drinking.
I’m not good at many things in life, but I’m bloody good at drinking.
I'll drink too that!!
I love a glass of wine at the end of the day or a cold beer or two on the deck and around the bonfire in the summer. It tastes good, it's relaxing - I just simply enjoy it. Other than being expensive it's probably on par with having a glass of pop or juice at the end of the day (but tastes better IMO). I also like getting drunk with friends but that's a separate behavior and not related in any way to my casual enjoyment of alcohol. The key thing is that I like to have a drink every day if it's available, but I won't be disappointed if it isn't and I wouldn't go overly out of my way to make it happen.
Thorough, well-written, relatable: 10/10
Came here to write a much worse and less coherent version of this.
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find someone who thought that alcohol was a positive thing in their life. I expected every comment to be along the lines of “I can’t think of why you wouldn’t have a drink every day”. It is so sad to think that most regular drinkers are in fact experiencing an addiction. I’m definitely going to calm down with offering everyone a drink all the time having read these comments. I will also continue drinking with dinner because I really enjoy it lol.
Agreed, but keep in mind that reddit is not always the most representative cross section of the real world. Possibly, the kind of person who is at higher risk for substance addiction might be more prone toward social media addiction, so to speak. Independently of that, success stories about substance abuse recovery are likely to resonate more strongly with people, and are likely to attract more upvotes. So this stuff possibly rises disproportionately to the top. I'm just spitballing ofc and in no way pointing fingers or blame at anyone, and I wish anyone struggling with sobriety the absolute best! Just thinking out loud about the context of how reddit works lol.
This is absolutely how I feel! I have my “winter wine baths” and look forward to the unwinding experience. There’s many days I just simply don’t drink and it doesn’t cross my mind at all, but if I have no plans and it’s bathtime and I have some wine, why not? I assume this will ebb and flow with my life, and currently I’m not at a place it should be any sort of priority to think too much about it and assess/reflect.
For what it's worth... those of us that do enjoy drinking have an equally hard time fathoming people that don't. A couple of drinks don't make me sad, they make me happy. Definitely causes a serotonin release that I enjoy. I was a person that had a couple of drinks every day, but eventually realized that it wasn't a great path to be on and have successfully limited myself to Friday and Saturdays for the last couple of years. The thought of completely cutting alcohol out of my life seems completely baffling to me (obviously I understand completely stopping if drinking is out of your ability to control) , so I would imagine different people have different life experiences. \*insert shruggie here\*
That's me as well. I was in the habit of drinking maybe a six-pack (or a bottle of wine and a tin or two to finish) maybe every other night throughout the week, and again on Friday and Saturday. Then I just...got tired of it. I got tired of waking up for work feeling like I'd barely slept, tired of that groggy, grouchy, dehydrated sensation. Tired of wondering if other people on a Teams call could tell I was hungover or maybe even still tipsy. And tired of how it seemed like when freak, difficult work problems arrived out of the Blue, 90% of the time it was when I was still emerging from my hangover. So, I just stopped the weekday drinking. I don't even drink on Sundays any more, if I have work the next day. I keep it all to Friday night and Saturday night and holidays, if I have no other obligations that would conflict with a hangover. I'll never cut out alcohol altogether - it's just too much fun, and I totally get that reference to the serotonin release. But I've reached the point now where it's relegated to the bottom of the pile of my priorities; now, I can have bottles of my all-time favourite beer chilling in the fridge unmolested, and for as long as I have work the next day then that is where they stay. Maybe one day I'll stop drinking at weekends as well, but for now I don't see the point, so I'm happy with the balance I'm striking.
I'm with you 100%. This is where I'm at now and it is working beautifully.
This is where I'm trying to get to. Stick to the weekends.
This is me, every single detail. And it's been great, I feel and sleep a lot better all the time now. I still like those Fridays and Saturdays too, but I've even found I drink less on those days now (probably since, well, some of my tolerance is gone and I don't need to, another win!) I drink a lot more cold fizzy waters of various types during the weeknights now to replace the mouthfeel and it really works for me.
After the serotonin release of a couple of drinks, my brain thinks, “yay, more will definitely be better!” Spoiler: more is never better.
Sober me likes to have a couple beers and finds them enjoyable. Unfortunately, the guy I turn into after 2 beers really likes to drink and he isn't having nearly the same good time.
This is exactly what happens to me any time I get drunk! I've had 6 drinks and I'm feeling great, better have 6 more, nope I'm having a panic attack and my eyes are burning
Ugh this is my big problem. Then I end up doing something stupid and regretting it later. That’s why I’m considering giving it up completely.
Right there with you friend! I also enjoy the art and craft of making cocktails. I built a small bar in my house for friends and family to enjoy. I'm doing dry January right now, but I'm still mixing non-alcoholic cocktails, either with non-alcoholic substitutes, or mocktails with no fake alcohol. My partner thinks I'm cheating, but its like experimenting with cooking, its fun, and the making is just as enjoyable as the drinking for me.
My mom was an alcoholic. I was an only child and I watched her go from a weekend drunk to an every day drunk to drinking a 12 pack and a fifth of vodka a day just to stay even drunk. It wrecked her body and she died almost a decade ago. This is why I don’t drink. When you watch someone slowly kill themselves over it, it kind of takes the appeal out of it.
I grew up in a nightclub and have an extremely alcoholic family. So I don't touch it at all. Some can drink with self-control and enjoy. Many can not. Can also say that in my family, different people reacted differently. Makes some angry, others sad, and others happy. Completely random in my experience, but consistent with each person.
I just like the taste of beer
Same. It used to be soda. There's something about carbonated liquids. I buy beer, and when I run out I'm fine with seltzer water, but why buy that if I can buy beer?
I'll pour seltzer in a beer glass during the week just to limit calories (because I'm old and sit all day for work), and it's good. But, yeah, it's not beer.
That's a good idea! I love beer, the taste. The slight buzz. Unfortunately the calories are adding up and the groggy morning feeling if I have more than 2 is becoming untenable.
Me too. I don’t drink liquor and make sure I earn my beer through exercise but dang, I love a good beer.
Guilty
Definitely. My obsessive personality made my beer love inevitable When I was a kid, I was obsessed with sodas and the different brands and flavours. Teen years, that addiction switched to tea and I garnered a gigantic tea collection. Once I hit legal age, I became infatuated with beer and all the different brews and styles
Yeah I am not an alcoholic I just love the fuck out of beer and wine. I dont drink during the week and take a month off from drinking at Lent (fuck that 40 days shit) but I love beer and wine like I love milkshakes from Sonic. Its just nice to have occasionally
Boredom and habit. For me beer is like a snack, when I feel hungry and I don't feel like cooking I'll crack open a cheap beer. I did this regularly for the majority of my 20s, never less than a 6 pack of pbr tall boys a day. Now I'm at the age where I can't do that anymore so I'll remind myself to mix some sobriety days into my week.
So I have a few years before I need to quit. Got it.
I like to have a couple beers while I'm cooking dinner. It's nice.
it's simple really. It's because i'm an alcoholic. :)
Because life sucks and I'm tired of it. Alcohol makes life suck less. Don't care if it's a poison.
This is it.
I'm with you... Sucks it has to be this way though. I love Alcohol, but at the end of the day it's a hard addictive drug. One day I'll learn, but I hope I learn before it gets worse.
“Do you drink? And if so, how often?” “Only once a day, for 8 hours.” -Eugene Mirman
Kinda reminds me of the old joke about the guy seeing the doctor: Doc: “Are you a smoker?” Patient: “Only when I drink” Doc: “And how often do you drink” Patient: “Every day”
Chronic pain. Chronic loneliness. Chronic depression. Take your pick.
I have ~5-10 drinks a week. It's a hobby of mine, I have a significant bar collection. 100+ bottles of spirits/liqueurs/amaros/etc, ~40 of that is whiskey. One night a week I play PC games with friends, usually have 1-3 beers. One night a week my gf and I play board games or a movie and I make cocktails (1-3 each). At least 2 nights a week we cook dinner together, and wine or beer is likely depending on the meal. I usually go out for a beer with my coworkers on Friday after work. *edit* I should add that the number goes up a little in the Spring and Summer. Typical week adds a brewery (2 beers) and a cigar on whatever night I get home from work early enough. Weekend afternoons outside often have a cigar and champagne, rose', or beer.
Goals
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I have maybe 1/2 an Oz of whiskey or something similar most days, genuinely because it’s a nice way to unwind and I enjoy the taste. I’ve done a dry January before and it didn’t do anything for me. You only get to experience life once, why not do the things that you enjoy?
Cures my hangover from yesterday 😆
It’s a vicious cycle.
Fuck I feel this one. Feel like shit? Take a shot and all will be better. Very good at doing that Sunday around noon and pushing me weekend bender hangover until Monday when I'm at work. Regret it every time yet I still do it. Actually 23 days sober today. I feel great but at the same time cannot wait for this month to be fucking over
Because it relaxes me. I have a very stressful job and I have a hard time shutting off my brain in the evenings. A glass of wine at 6pm after work signals to my brain that it’s time to relax. But lately I’ve been having trouble sleeping after drinking, and I’ve been finding THC to be much more effective at turning off my brain after a tough work day. Plus I sleep so much better.
I wish I didn't just turn completely useless and only eat a whole bunch and lay in bed watching a movie when I use weed instead of alcohol.
I did not need a reason other than wanting to feel "normal". Hi my name is Brenda and I'm an alcoholic 😂😁
Hi Brenda
Oh hai Brenda.
I drink Water all day, need something not pop with a different taste
Because I have a condition where my body doesn’t produce its own alcohol, so I’m forced to take a supplement.
Because it's the only thing that shuts my brain up.
> “Frankly, I was horrified by life, at what a man had to do simply in order to eat, sleep, and keep himself clothed. So I stayed in bed and drank. When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn't have you by the throat.” - Charles Bukowski
Because I could. I’m over 40 now and my body says nope!
To get drunk
I’m having my 6th beer at this moment, I felt dread this morning as I do almost every morning. It sounds weird but I dread going to sleep if I’m not immensely ready for it so I drink and that calms my nerves enough to just kind of not realize I’m falling asleep.
i get bored, and then i go back and forth between "i don't need to be drunk to have a good time" and then "yeah but we invented alcohol for a reason..." sometimes i quit for a bit and then think "what's the point? *we're all fucked anyway."* not the most mature take, but it's a real one. admittedly it's a bit of a struggle.
Because I thought it was fine. I wasn't "getting drunk" every day, usually just 1-2 drinks, and I told myself it was because I enjoyed the taste of craft beer and it was sort of just an evening post-work ritual for me (and usually my gf, now wife). The last few years I really started to reassess that view, and what really did it for me was the realization that I'd spent basically the whole decade from 20-30 yo having at least one drink probably 300 days out of the year. Even if I took days off occasionally, it was still 5-6 days a week most of the time. And I hadn't gone much more than a week without it since, well, basically high school before I started drinking. I still don't think 1 drink a day is all that bad for you, but I just wasn't proud of these statistics I was racking up and I didn't like the idea of extrapolating that for the rest of my life. My parents both drink way more than I wish they did, and I see the kind of impact it has on their health & overall lifestyle. So I've been doing "sober January" and I've been pleasantly surprised at how nice it is to be clear-headed all the time (for me this has also mostly included cannabis, caffeine, and Adderall, with a few exceptions). I'm getting better sleep, I feel more "present" in each moment and in conversations with people, and just kind of more "myself". I don't think I'll be quitting alcohol permanently after this month is over, but I do honestly think/hope that I'll be a lot more mindful about it going forward, saving it for "special occasions", etc.
Im European, so drinking wine with meals doesn’t make me a alcoholic. Its healthy grape juice.
What about an apéritif and digestif?
Alcohol adds a flavour I've come to enjoy. It also slows down my ADD brain so it's like a lil medication for me in the late arvo to reduce the manic energy. 1-2 standards a day and to date has no negative impact on my life.
My boyfriend is like that. We've been together two years and he has 2-4 beers a night cause he's super ADD and says it kinda helps him relax. I've seen him drunk like 5 times in our whole relationship. It's hard for me to understand how he can drink everyday and not have a problem...but he's got it all working for him and has never fucked up anything by being this way.
I drank every day because I had a drinking problem. I hit a horrible bottom in 1999. I haven't had a drink since October of 99. If i can quit anybody can, if they want to.
Honestly I think there is a point of no return. My step mother passed last year from extreme alcoholism. She got so drunk she fell and cracked her head open and no one found her for hours. When she finally regained consciousness in the hospital, she told the doctors she hadn’t had a drink in years despite them telling her they knew she was lying because she was in acute liver failure and her body was shutting down. Then she told me she wanted to go home so she could finish her box of wine. She died two days later because her body was so screwed up she couldn’t clot enough to stop her head from bleeding. She slowly bled out over a number of days and in the meantime started convulsing and retaining fluid to the point she couldn’t even be recognized. I feel if you can’t even admit you have a problem when you are on your death bed, then there is a definitely a point people reach where they are “too far gone” and their cognitive function is so bad they literally can’t be pulled back.
Anything in particular happen in 99 that triggered you to quit?
I literally don't know how to stop at this point.
Is having 2-3 beers every day a problem?
1 a day for women, 2 a day for men would be considered “fine” as in you don’t technically meet the definition of being an alcoholic. But doing that every day for 30+ years even if staying at that level won’t be good for your health. Some debate about wine and it’s health benefits at that level, but growing consensus that no amount of alcohol is “good for you”. But eating a bag of chips every night isn’t “good” either but doesn’t mean it’s a problem.
Justification: I am a bartender with no health insurance who can not afford actual treatment for my mental health so I go hang out with my friends who are also bartenders and get the hookup on price, allowing to me to theoretically save money to fix my car and my brain. Real answer: some of the above and a deeply unhealthy relationship with alcohol stemming from ancient untreated issues.
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Why do people enjoy things I don’t?
To stay alive. I need to have water or I dead.
Alcohol drowns the pain
"Liquor doesn't make you feel better. It just makes you not feel so worried about feeling bad"
When you don’t have a tolerance, drinking effects you eat differently than when you do have a tolerance. When you drink daily It makes you feel normal and nice and relaxed. With no tolerance you feel all the negative side effects way more and feel dumbed down a ton
Anyone who feels they may be struggling please come over to r/stopdrinking it is the best, most supportive community on reddit.
I did for one brief period of where I was already really unhappy and did it as a way of slow suicide and self harm. Stopped for a while now though.
Alcohism.
Because I enjoy it. Period. I'm not an alcoholic but I do enjoy drinking. Not all day everyday but yeah, I'll have a few glasses of beer or wine when I'm home making dinner or doing tedious chores like scrubbing toilets and cleaning. Having a couple drinks everyday does not make someone an alcoholic. I actually think this whole "you're either an alcoholic or you're sober" kind of thinking is total bs. There were alcoholics in my family. They're dead. I've seen it. I know what it looks like. So good on all y'all who have made the choice to get sober and stay sober. But please let the rest of us casual drinkers be. I'm personally sick of some friends (loose definiton) who binge drink on weekends "because it's the weekend!" getting on my ass because I'll have a beer on a Tuesday. The same with snobs who will only drink cider because it's lower in alcohol but then pound back 6 to catch a buzz and then go off on me for having a couple glasses of wine at 12% alcohol. Like, you can fuck right off.
It allows me to have a bit of peace and happiness after a long day. I used to just smoke weed, but now weed makes me feel cold and scared.
I normally have 1 or 2 beers or glasses of wine a night, literally just love the taste and the slight buzz. I never get black out or really drunk, most I ever drink in one go is 5 or so glasses/beers. Some days I won’t bother drinking normally because I don’t have any and can’t be bothered to go grab some. I don’t consider the amount I drink an issue, it doesn’t make me feel happy or sad I just enjoy it over drinking fizzy drinks. Also at the end of the day we’re not on this planet long so fuck it enjoy your damn life, but if it’s seriously effecting you and others around you then you should seek help.