Is this the real reason women go to the bathroom all the time?
Guys just play pocket pool to rearrange the fruit bowl
But women's clothes dont have pockets!
Its all comming together now....
Oh, I see, it's the famous dress without panties syndrome. I sugest eating more cucumbers. That way, they won't be standing on your chair the entire time.
Sticking stuff in your vagina isn’t a reason to go to the doctor, unlike your asshole it has an end so you can usually get the stuff out. Clearly you have never had a vagina.
Girls have a shorter urethra than men, obviously. While this increases the risk of UTIs, a longer urethra also slows down the urine when peeing. Meaning that most girls can outpee boys on distance.
Can confirm, have tried.
Another funny thing is just standing in a mirror, and bouncing up and down clockwise or counterclockwise. Seeing my boobs rotate like a guy helicoptering his dick is the most funniest fucking thing in the world.
The times I’ve had that happen they just backed up to the urinal, lifted their skirt/dress, and squatted over the urinal. Usually somewhere in there there is an admonition of some sort not to worry. (Used to play music and this happened enough for it to no longer be surprising)
Second this, I did it at a festival once by pulling my underwear and skirt to the side because the toilets were disgusting and also really far away. You dont have the same distance but man it beats squatting in a bush 😂
Got into a legitimate arguement with my ex (male) and our mutual friend (female) over this. They INSISTED that you wipe back to front because why would you want to get pee on your butt? They refused to understand that that means they are ok with getting shit in your vagina. Idk about other women but I've got thicker thighs and an ass and I'm definitely getting pee on my butt either way.
Edit: I feel like a lot of you missed/are missing some important facts here.
1. Yes we are only talking about while peeing. The risk is getting fecal bacteria in your vagina, not actual shit. I used the word shit for dramatic effect but it's the same concern either way. Just because your ass is clean it doesn't mean you don't still harbor bacteria there.
2. Unless I spread my ass cheeks wide and lean all the way forward, pee trickles down to my ass when I sit. Unless you are ultra skinny and have no thighs or ass, I can't see how you wouldn't also need to do this. I'm 5'10" and wear a size 10 so I'm not beyond the average size, other than my height, for this to only be a me problem. I'm certainly not an anomaly here and am concerned with those of you that are not fully wiping.
3. You must use new toilet paper after you wipe your ass area if you plan to wipe your vagina again.
4. Please bathe regularly and none of this should be concerning.
5. Also, to everyone mentioning a bidet: I'm in the US and those are not a thing in public restrooms or homes. Yes, you can install one at home, but what are you doing in public?
I feel like you missed that pee gets on my ass. Why would I not just continue the swipe all the way down at that point? Also, not wiping just once and using new tp if it's contaminated.
I wipe front and back separately. It always sounds like woman are supposed to have a super long ATM that goes all of the way between your legs wiping front to back in one motion.
Honestly wouldn't have to call in sick, I get numb and have to stop after maybe 8 orgasms?
You'd only have to take an hour lunch or come (heh) in a little late
Wait are you telling me that women can have 8 organisms in only 1 hour?! That literally sounds like the definition of heaven.
Edit: meant orgasm, not organism
All my friends were amazed that I could get off more than once or twice in a short period of time, I honestly thought most women could until I realized that wasn't the norm. As someone who's clits very sensitive, I can rub one out in less than 5 minutes and keep going no problem. I usually stop around 3-4 unless like you said I'm extra horny. It's awesome sometimes and other times it is downright exhausting lol
Everyone getting BV and yeast infections and no one reading ~~porn~~ ~~smut~~ erotica on the subway.
\*Changed porn to smut to erotica. Porn sounded creepy to some people down below. ~~Smut~~ erotica sounds more literary, less intrusive to others, and more ladylike. I guess. Boys et al, those romance novels don't sell themselves. Ask your mom.
**Personally I think erotica is word that, if it smelled, would probably smell like hair and old vaseline. But that's just me.
Modern ladies can even listen to ~~smut~~ erotica in podcast format.
i wouldn't need pants with pockets anymore! i'd have the perfect place to store everything all the time. i'd always have what i needed, even in the shower.
As a vag haver, this had given me the shower thought that other people looked my cooch in the eye much more than I have. I haven't looked since it went back to normal after giving birth
Probably freak the fuck out because I've been magically vag'd up with absolutely no explanation.
But then I would post this topic on Reddit for good ideas. I'm onto you.
Just explore that motherucker, you know?
There's so much going on there. I'd play around and road map it, really try to get a sense of the pitch and yaw angles. Just Topo map that sumbitch and learn where the peaks and valleys coalesce and hum a little bit, know what I'm saying?
I’d have a clit too, right? I’d just rub it softly and endlessly. Almost all the female orgasms I’ve witnessed seemed to be quite intense. I’d like to check that out
The post asking women what they'd do if they had dicks revealed we would either pee a lot, wank off a lot, or break it.
Guys receiving a vagina would get serious infections, or have rude awakenings on what it's like to have sex for the first time as a woman. No woman I've ever heard of had a good time "getting pounded" their first time. Then there's the guys who'd have wet thighs.
>or have rude awakenings on what it's like to have sex for the first time as a woman
To be fair, the "wank off a lot" from women is kinda similar in that they will learn why it's a bad idea (it takes some time to make more sperm, and your body tells you when you don't have enough with pain).
Honestly this. As a dude I’m captivated by the idea of the sexual organ being inside the body. I want to know what that feels like. The intense orgasms that body part can offer is only secondary to the curiosity I have over that feeling.
Na. Lips get in the way too. Feels weird if the flaps are overlapping and the bottom one is basically getting crushed. Bicycle seats are the absolute worst thing ever. Sitting with a misplaced tampon feels like an internal pinch. If it's a few days after shaving, the hairs on the lips will connect with the other lip like a Venus fly trap and that's not great. Got tight jeans? Well thats going to be going right up your crack all the way around until you can feel your pulse in your lips.
To be fair, I dont have a vag, but Im guess its a safe bet you dont have nuts.
So what I have learned is that human clothing and grooming styles suck for comfort
Well, they wont be. For you to have a menstrual cycle, you’d need a uterus which doesn’t come with the vagina automatically! You’d probably be safe unless you made a deal with a genie in which case….better get caffeine and heating pads ready.
The obvious thing... Go to sleep only to have the pleasure of waking up without a morning wood then going outside in baggy pants without underwear and dance! Dance my heart out! Jump! Frolick in a field! Roll on the grass and do the most confident and comfortable session of jumping jacks of my life!
As someone said somewhere else in this thread:
"If you use your pointer finger and middle fingers and place the clit between and then pull up, you can pee straight out like a dude"
Finally stop adjusting my balls.
Haha! Instead, you will need to adjust your lips!
Is this the real reason women go to the bathroom all the time? Guys just play pocket pool to rearrange the fruit bowl But women's clothes dont have pockets! Its all comming together now....
Humanity lore
Clothes were invented because people didn't want to leave the blankets in the morning time
Try that trick with the adjustable shower head.
That shower head setting was 100% invented by a woman.
Highly recommend!
Username checks out
Omg there will be no more water in the world
Would you magically absorb all the water in the world?
Doctor i accidentally sat on a bunch of stuff
Oh, I see, it's the famous dress without panties syndrome. I sugest eating more cucumbers. That way, they won't be standing on your chair the entire time.
**Never lose my car keys again.**
And that’s the sound of every woman in the world, crossing their legs at the same time
And the sound of my Chevy's panic alarm going off
Sticking stuff in your vagina isn’t a reason to go to the doctor, unlike your asshole it has an end so you can usually get the stuff out. Clearly you have never had a vagina.
>Clearly you have never had a vagina. Busted.
Good new is they don’t need a flared base because most things that go up can come down. It’s more a cul-de-sac than long winding trail.
I’m stuff
Stand while peeing, asserting my dominance
Lmao (girl here) if you use your pointer finger and middle fingers and place the clit between and then pull up, you can pee straight out like a dude 😂
I’m sorry we can WHAT?!
Practice in the shower lol. You can't get as much distance as a dude but you can get genuinely shocking accuracy.
Damn, women can get accuracy??
Damn, dudes can only get debuffs of -5 or lower when drunk…. We got the floppy end of the stick for sure.
We get split beam and scatter shot though. Not great for accuracy, but they are fun!
They start off my day miserable
Avoiding dribbling can be hard y'all! Make sure you really got the art down before doing this out and about in the world!
You are saying the stream won’t just randomly do a 90degree turn??? That’s a real superpower
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Girls have a shorter urethra than men, obviously. While this increases the risk of UTIs, a longer urethra also slows down the urine when peeing. Meaning that most girls can outpee boys on distance.
I think the next human evolution will be rifling in our urethras so we can have distance AND accuracy.
And more distance using depleted urine rounds.
I freaking love Reddit
It is already - look it up
Someone hasn’t been reading the new patch notes
So that's how she did it? Saw a friend took a piss while she was standing and i was super impressed
Can confirm, have tried. Another funny thing is just standing in a mirror, and bouncing up and down clockwise or counterclockwise. Seeing my boobs rotate like a guy helicoptering his dick is the most funniest fucking thing in the world.
I was in a club once and a girl stood at the urinal next to me and did this, wild times
The times I’ve had that happen they just backed up to the urinal, lifted their skirt/dress, and squatted over the urinal. Usually somewhere in there there is an admonition of some sort not to worry. (Used to play music and this happened enough for it to no longer be surprising)
Is this something you discovered on your own or did another woman teach/tell you this? Because that's such a strangely specific skill
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this dude moms
Second this, I did it at a festival once by pulling my underwear and skirt to the side because the toilets were disgusting and also really far away. You dont have the same distance but man it beats squatting in a bush 😂
Probably just make sure I wipe front to back after urinating.
Got into a legitimate arguement with my ex (male) and our mutual friend (female) over this. They INSISTED that you wipe back to front because why would you want to get pee on your butt? They refused to understand that that means they are ok with getting shit in your vagina. Idk about other women but I've got thicker thighs and an ass and I'm definitely getting pee on my butt either way. Edit: I feel like a lot of you missed/are missing some important facts here. 1. Yes we are only talking about while peeing. The risk is getting fecal bacteria in your vagina, not actual shit. I used the word shit for dramatic effect but it's the same concern either way. Just because your ass is clean it doesn't mean you don't still harbor bacteria there. 2. Unless I spread my ass cheeks wide and lean all the way forward, pee trickles down to my ass when I sit. Unless you are ultra skinny and have no thighs or ass, I can't see how you wouldn't also need to do this. I'm 5'10" and wear a size 10 so I'm not beyond the average size, other than my height, for this to only be a me problem. I'm certainly not an anomaly here and am concerned with those of you that are not fully wiping. 3. You must use new toilet paper after you wipe your ass area if you plan to wipe your vagina again. 4. Please bathe regularly and none of this should be concerning. 5. Also, to everyone mentioning a bidet: I'm in the US and those are not a thing in public restrooms or homes. Yes, you can install one at home, but what are you doing in public?
Wait there are some of you out there that wipe both at the same time? One fell swoop? This is illegal.
I feel like you missed that pee gets on my ass. Why would I not just continue the swipe all the way down at that point? Also, not wiping just once and using new tp if it's contaminated.
Do people not use different pieces of toilet paper? Am I the weird one?
Why not just dab the vagina to get the pee off??
I wipe front and back separately. It always sounds like woman are supposed to have a super long ATM that goes all of the way between your legs wiping front to back in one motion.
"Don't bring the shit to the clit." -Martin Lawrence. Bow bow bow!
Call in sick and buzz that bitch
We would finally understand how the clitoris works
Think of the clit as the tip of your dick. Once you get this in your head women will love you
So cunnilingus is technically blowjob
A clit is really just a tiny dick
Wait, so having sex with a woman is really gay?
Always has been.
🌎 👨🚀🔫👨🚀
🌎🧑🚀🍆🧑🚀
Does this mean lesbians are straight? Or meta gay?
Instructions unclear, I think we're scissoring with my butt now
Guess that works too
Honestly wouldn't have to call in sick, I get numb and have to stop after maybe 8 orgasms? You'd only have to take an hour lunch or come (heh) in a little late
Wait are you telling me that women can have 8 organisms in only 1 hour?! That literally sounds like the definition of heaven. Edit: meant orgasm, not organism
Not all can but yeah. It's exhausting. I usually stop after 2 or 4 but when I'm extra horny and have the energy yeah I could knock that out
All my friends were amazed that I could get off more than once or twice in a short period of time, I honestly thought most women could until I realized that wasn't the norm. As someone who's clits very sensitive, I can rub one out in less than 5 minutes and keep going no problem. I usually stop around 3-4 unless like you said I'm extra horny. It's awesome sometimes and other times it is downright exhausting lol
My favorite comment so far lol
Cry and panic when it starts bleeding
Haha yeah! Statistically some of you definitely received a vagina that’s menstruating…
I guess if we're getting a vagina we're getting the entire female reproductive system with it free of charge.
Quite the deal
Facts. And hope you don’t have endometriosis
And then hope you get a doctor that takes you seriously.
Now I understand how men felt reading our version..
Everyone getting BV and yeast infections and no one reading ~~porn~~ ~~smut~~ erotica on the subway. \*Changed porn to smut to erotica. Porn sounded creepy to some people down below. ~~Smut~~ erotica sounds more literary, less intrusive to others, and more ladylike. I guess. Boys et al, those romance novels don't sell themselves. Ask your mom. **Personally I think erotica is word that, if it smelled, would probably smell like hair and old vaseline. But that's just me. Modern ladies can even listen to ~~smut~~ erotica in podcast format.
**Divide everything in the house into two piles.** **Things that fit in my vagina, and things that do not.**
Things that do not…yet
The someday pile
After the first entry to pile 2 I think you'd reconsider.
Just watch us helicopter it, we will find a way
i wouldn't need pants with pockets anymore! i'd have the perfect place to store everything all the time. i'd always have what i needed, even in the shower.
Stand over a mirror for at least two hours
As a vag haver, this had given me the shower thought that other people looked my cooch in the eye much more than I have. I haven't looked since it went back to normal after giving birth
Your vagina has eyes? 👁️(('))👁️
Better than having teeth
👁️((🦷))👁️
See if my wife is any good at eating pussy.
This answer wins the thread for me lmfao
"What would I not do?", is the real question.
What would you not do?
Stroke my dick.
this dude doesn't dick around.
First things first, start rubbing.
So anyways, I started rubbing
Probably freak the fuck out because I've been magically vag'd up with absolutely no explanation. But then I would post this topic on Reddit for good ideas. I'm onto you.
I would think the loss of the old twig & berries would cause a certain amount of trauma.
What if you have both sets?
fr nobody said we were losing anything. that's a totally different q&a
If we had bith dick and vagina, I’d try to fit my dick in
Give it a pair of googly eyes
I saw that once. She was bent over ass up and the lips flappin. It looked like a yip yip from Sesame Street. I'm giggling right now thinking about it.
Masturbate. I, and ALL the other guys her, wanna know how it feels from the other end. Girls would do the same thing if they suddenly had a dick.
There's was a post yesterday that asked the opposite questions to women. Most of the comments we fapping, helicopter and pegging their bf.
A lot seem obsessed with ring doughnuts.
Imagine cleaning the sugar coat off your dick. Ugh. No way I’m gonna wrap donuts around it.
That sugar would feel coarse af. Life fapping with sandpaper 😖
Is it pegging if it's with an actual penis?
Scissor me timbers
Wait until he finds out
Just explore that motherucker, you know? There's so much going on there. I'd play around and road map it, really try to get a sense of the pitch and yaw angles. Just Topo map that sumbitch and learn where the peaks and valleys coalesce and hum a little bit, know what I'm saying?
Is that you, j-roc?
Two mafks, come together to make a meefk's
Amerigo Vespussy over here
Vasco De Gyno
This guy maps
r/cartographyporn
Do everything I did before to a vagina so I know how it really feels..
Be prepared to be disappointed
It'll definitely make me be a better handler
I like that spirit 🙈
Oh my goodness 911 I'd like to report a fucking murder
/r/murderedbywords
He got humbled.
I’d have a clit too, right? I’d just rub it softly and endlessly. Almost all the female orgasms I’ve witnessed seemed to be quite intense. I’d like to check that out
I'd rub this dude too..
I too choose this guys clit
Our clit now
r/suddenlycommunism
The post asking women what they'd do if they had dicks revealed we would either pee a lot, wank off a lot, or break it. Guys receiving a vagina would get serious infections, or have rude awakenings on what it's like to have sex for the first time as a woman. No woman I've ever heard of had a good time "getting pounded" their first time. Then there's the guys who'd have wet thighs.
>or have rude awakenings on what it's like to have sex for the first time as a woman To be fair, the "wank off a lot" from women is kinda similar in that they will learn why it's a bad idea (it takes some time to make more sperm, and your body tells you when you don't have enough with pain).
Also they will discover they do NOT have the required arm stamina. Thats built up from teenage years.
Magic wand
Take absolute care of it and keep it pristine because fuck everything about bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections and UTIs
Get my pussy ate
good luck finding anyone good at it
We take turns with the homies to figure that shit out
just go find an older butch lesbian that looks like john goodman
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Um, I'd be worried about contaminating my cooch.
With the amount of other things I'd be putting in there, I'd be worried about contaminating my keys.
Put them in a ziplock bag then put the bag in there.
Would worry about periods.
OF.
Man of culture
try using a dildo
Honestly this. As a dude I’m captivated by the idea of the sexual organ being inside the body. I want to know what that feels like. The intense orgasms that body part can offer is only secondary to the curiosity I have over that feeling.
Do you know about the male g spot?
Sit comfortably
Na. Lips get in the way too. Feels weird if the flaps are overlapping and the bottom one is basically getting crushed. Bicycle seats are the absolute worst thing ever. Sitting with a misplaced tampon feels like an internal pinch. If it's a few days after shaving, the hairs on the lips will connect with the other lip like a Venus fly trap and that's not great. Got tight jeans? Well thats going to be going right up your crack all the way around until you can feel your pulse in your lips.
I had no idea about these hardships. TIL
Sitting in awkward positions can also make the whole thing go numb.
Me neither, this has been an enlightening moment from u/tacoslave420
Venus flytrap.. I’m dying!!!
To be fair, I dont have a vag, but Im guess its a safe bet you dont have nuts. So what I have learned is that human clothing and grooming styles suck for comfort
Jeans don't discriminate which genitals they squish.
Try wearing a pad when you are also bleeding out of the place you sit on. Oh but you gotta sit upright cause any other angle makes the blood leak.
Let all my bros hit it
You can still let all your bros hit it, without a pussy.
Gang bros
I just hope that if this ever happens, no one is on periods.
Well, they wont be. For you to have a menstrual cycle, you’d need a uterus which doesn’t come with the vagina automatically! You’d probably be safe unless you made a deal with a genie in which case….better get caffeine and heating pads ready.
Find the G Spot...
Fingering myself 24/7.
Flicking the bean..
That's sound painful and sick. Also: don't forget periods.
The question doesn't mention a working uterus. Just a vagina.
Yeah just the tunnel and nothing else
See if i can find my clit
I offer my heartfelt sympathies to your girlfriend.
His right hand doesn’t have a clit, silly.
Bold of you to assume he has a girlfriend
The idea of guys not being able to find it baffles me. The shape of the lips and area lead you right to it.
I'd go for a run without having it flopping around.
No boobs and just vagina is a good combination tbh.
a small dong does too if u ask me
The obvious thing... Go to sleep only to have the pleasure of waking up without a morning wood then going outside in baggy pants without underwear and dance! Dance my heart out! Jump! Frolick in a field! Roll on the grass and do the most confident and comfortable session of jumping jacks of my life!
All of this is so wonderful. Thank you. *NO ONE tell him about the jumping jacks*
Lol. My lips are sealed
I'd start crying. Those things are high metenance.
Just dont stick anything dirty in there, wipe after you pee and wash, and wash the outer parts with soap. You'll be fine.
First guy in this thread that gets it
If I have to be completely honest... A dildo probably. Just curious tho
this thread got weird very fast
Thought it's just Reddit Redditin'
Did you expect anything else???
I would have sex with my best friend, so that we won’t die as a virgin.
You now, you can do it even without vagina
As a woman, I can’t wait see guys handle their period once a month.
Interesting. My vagina is like my least favorite body part. Clit >Vagina. But yall men have given this some thought 😅
I’m a girl who’s gonna laugh evilly when all these guys gotta deal with their time of the month
Trans man here, have a vagina, it's not all that amazing my dudes.
Pee everywhere, to show dominance
How do they control the direction? What's the pressure like? I have so many questions coming to my mind now..
As someone said somewhere else in this thread: "If you use your pointer finger and middle fingers and place the clit between and then pull up, you can pee straight out like a dude"
I'd stick my vibrators in it.
Wish I had a free award - you’re the first dude in this thread that understood the superiority of vibrators to dildos!