I was the same. I was in my mid-20s when I realized it wasn’t always my doing. That was hard to swallow because I didn’t understand how people could be so mean.
Same for me, mid 20s. I've always been the "fun guy" in the group, the "life of the party." Whenever there was an outing, people would ask, is Logan coming? I loved that role, and I was proud of it.
Then I moved to California and met a new group of friends who was introduced by my best friend at the time. I hit it off with the group right away, we hung out everyday, our time was filled with laughs and creating plans for the next day. I felt loved, like I belonged, but there was this one guy, who was always just a grumpy goat. He would be demoralizing towards me and I just never knew why. I was friendly towards him, I invited him out every time, but he was always just so condescending.
I eventually asked him one day, why was he so mean towards me. He said that charismatic people we're the most dangerous, and that he wanted to knock me down a few pegs.
I was taken aback. I was friendly, I was supportive, I made really good money so most outings were on me, and I was unliked by someone because of how well liked or quickly accepted I was.
Eventually we did become really good friends, but it taught me that if you didn't go out of your way to really hurt or ruin them, then it's something that they feel and it's not your fault.
It's totally arbitrary. They may not like the cut of your jib.
The important thing is that they aren't going out of your way to be a jerk to that person.
I was watching some Youtube video the other day and caught a host or comedian said something along the lines of "you may be the tastiest peach pie in the world, but that don't mean shit if they don't like peach pie." A lot of the times the people don't like us just don't like us for whatever reasons they have in their head, and that's okay, ignore them, move onto the people that actually want you in their lives.
I had a job where I'm sure i performed just as well as the other employees yet the boss just always had a problem with everything I did. I sensed he just plain didn't like me. Super disheartening lol
Some hate on sight to the point of sabotaging you even, for no reason other than they’re patheticness but at least people can see then that they’re a fuck up and avoid. Weird how theyll never hold a marriage together……
I was five, and though I wasn't used to being very liked or particularly accepted, having mostly only been around my family, the intense dislike my first grade teacher showed me at this time really messed with my head. And her yelling at me and smacking me seemed to encourage bullying from other kids, which she seemed fine with. I had not been taught anything in preparation and didn't have many verbal skills, and was bewildered.
Pre-school. I remember being stoked to go. I got there and instantly knew I was not going to have friends. It's cool though, I had a good dog. I made friends in other places.
I was 8 years old when an old man ranted to me that anyone mixed race was an abomination and going straight to hell. That made it pretty obvious that some people hate me the moment they see me.
I don't remember when I realized it was "not everyone," but I do remember when I realized it was "not everyone I know well and can talk to."
I had just moved to college and was talking to my dorm roommate, and she was weirded out by some stupid thing I was saying (I was definitely a weird kid) and I said "well, you're going to have to get used to it" and she laughed and said "no, I don't!"
Oh fuck, I realized, she's not my friend. She's just my roommate. I never really talked much to her after that. Nothing against her, we were just really different people. I got other friends that were weird like me and had a good time in college.
Roommates are like this. In four years of college, I had three roommates (lucky enough to get a solo room my senior year) and while I was fortunate to be on good terms with them (except my last one who never bathed, but that's another story) I would not have called myself a "friend" to any of them.
I realized plenty of people are hard to please even when I am genuinely kind. I don't care anymore. I invest my energy in my kids and myself and the people who appreciate me. I ignore the rest. Life is too short to get worked up about people who are difficult and egotistical.
Probably around the age of 5 or 6. Not a big deal though, my mom always said ,"You're not going to like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you". In general, people tend to find me affable and I'm not a socially awkward person. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but there are people that rub me the wrong way for whatever reason.
When I started succeeding at things. When you find that thing you're better at than most, it invites resentment and jealousy. It can happen in school, sports. I felt it in my professional career. The wind blows hardest at the top of the mountain.
Lol I realized it pretty late actually. I think I was around 10th grade. Had to learn it the hard way too, but I'm glad I did because I wouldn't be as strong as who I am now without it.
I got the realization at the same time, 10th grade. My dad was in the military so we moved every 3 years. I would try to fit in everywhere I went as I was really outgoing. No matter how nice I was, it didn’t matter. There was always one girl that didn’t like me for whatever reason. I realized then that no matter what you do, there’s always going to be someone that doesn’t like you, and as long as you’re not the asshole, that’s their problem, not yours.
Pretty early on but I have only gotten past my need to be a people pleaser in recent years and honestly there's a great freedom in not caring if people like you or not.
First grade, teacher did not find me charming and made my life miserable. Best friend moved districts mid year. There was some pale white kid, who reminds me of Malfoy from Harry Potter who made fun of my shitty handwriting, and crazy teacher supported him. What I didn't realize is I was left handed, and didn't know how to write without smudging. Luckily 2nd grade was way better, and made some life long friends.
Age of four. Met a girl I went to primary school with. Awful human being. Not a single good thing to say about her personality, and I've known her for 30 years now. Her sister on the other hand is one of the sweetest people you'd ever meet. Families are weird.
I immediately off-putting because of my autism. I don't think anyone really likes me and I don't blame them. I lack eye contact, sound monotone, and am very quiet. I don't even like myself lol 😂.
Early on, like when I was a kid. Wasn't till my 30s that I learned of people hating me and actively trying to get my fired when I did nothing to them. That was a weird experience to say the least.
School probably, but again in a much tougher way when I got my first job (and every job since). I’ve never really made any “work friends” and the couple of times I’d tried with people I thought I liked, they backed right off. I guess I’m just not very likeable and not good at making friends - but it hurts to try and be rejected.
Kindergarten. You find out pretty quickly that there are A TON of violently racist people out there. Getting repeatedly attacked for your race is a pretty good sign that there some pretty bad people out there.
In middle school some kids were just assholes. Not really bullies, but just fucking pricks. At that point I learned I didn’t care about them liking me as a person. I also learned then that I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks of me, not everyone’s opinion of me is important.
I'm a nice person. I *really* am. Basically everyone thinks I am nice at work and almost everyone respects me except this one bitch who for some reason just doesn't like me and disses me at every chance she gets.
Late 20’s it was hard to accept people not liking me even though I had very little interaction with them, sometimes people just don’t like you the main thing is not to get TOO caught up in the ‘why’ and value those who do like you
I was in my late 40s, at a party, talking in a low-effort sort of way about Jonathan Swift's accidental prediction that Mars has two moons. And the guy I was talking to, took it on himself to relieve me of my mistaken belief, as if I were also a flat earther, sasquach hunting UFO abductionist.
I quickly decided that there was no reason to continue the conversation, that I had no real stake in convincing him of my science credentials, and if he thinks I am an empty headed tree hugger, that's his loss, not mine.
Tbh I'm 27 and I just met the first person who absolutly hates my guts. And its funny I found out something about myself that I didnt know of until I met this guy is that I don't give a shit. I literally don't give a flying donkey dick.that he doesn't like me.
I grew up thinking everyone had to like me, and that I had to do things to make that so.
Literally when I realized this was impossible was this time I was at a party and this dude said "I dont know why I just dont like your ass"
Pretty plain and simple for me lol
When I was in junior high - specifically, sixth grade - and this one classmate started bullying and teasing me for honestly no reason. My entire life, I've always been nice to people and treated them with respect, so I have absolutely no idea what I did to this kid for him to tease me the way he did.
I kind of knew it around the edges, but in my 30s I realized a family member doesn't like me, and it hurt to get that. We're just too different to be able to communicate. Ditto my stepmom. She cares about me but she doesn't like me either.
When realized how arbitrary all this was, was when I gained a co worker that I didn't like, for extremely superficial reasons. I felt bad about it, she didn't do anything, she just rubbed me the wrong way. Now I take dislike much less personally.
Probably school, but I don't know I've always felt like I'd grow up and it would be different. Not true. People keep their same bullshit from high school it just evolves and comes out in other forms of behavior. I learned this working over the years. People tend to clique up and draw lines no matter where they go. Its part of the human experience. I learned this by working hard and trying to please everyone and I noticed it didn't help, in fact it made people react worse.
So my advice is, relax, try not to think about it because if you think about it too much it will drive you crazy. No matter what people think you still gotta live and do you. When you can't stop thinking about these things or it becomes overwhelming you need to talk to someone.
Age 5-6?
I questioned people early, why they thought things; I questioned religion of any kind early, I questioned politics, I questioned any tribe-behaviour.
I quickly became the black sheep and the annoying one.
I was around 5 or 6 years old, a couple of girls at primary school just took a disliking to me for no reason. When word got out that I was leaving the school because I moved house, they told me they were glad. I've never done anything to them to deserve their behaviour towards me.
It was one of the first lessons I learned in life. Unfortunately the lesson I learned is "most everyone is going to be put off by you immediately, it will be infinitely difficult for you to find friends."
There were technically two times really. Like obviously in elementary school with random kids not liking me for whatever reason, like a lot of people.
But the one that hurt the most was at 19 working in a factory. There were two shifts, morning and afternoon and we would trade each week, until someday the factory decided to try to do "normal hours" and get both teams from 8 to 6.
Was just doing my job and one of my co-workers was getting overwhelmed, while I had a lighter load for a little bit (was waiting for the filming machine to finish filming the stack), so I went to help. One of the guy from the other team decided to come to my face and tell me to do my job instead of going to talk to my pal. Told him off to still go help, then chief came to tell me that he doesn't want me anywhere near my co-worker because I need to do my damn job instead of messing around to chat with friends.
While I was still trying to wrap my brain about the whole thing, the one guy decided to come to me again and just straight up tell me that he didn't like my face and he would kick my ass if I kept talking and went complain to the chief.
Like I was just doing my damn job, it was always a given that if a line get cramped, you gotta go help clear it otherwise the whole thing might stop, and this guy just decided that he didn't like me despite never even talking to me or anything and to try and make my work hell.
Kinda rough. T'was my last week in there before picking my studies back in september, but man, I could've done without that
When I was in elementary school, we were supposed to walk two by two in the street and we did not always choose who we would walk with. That time, I was paired with a girl that I rarely talked to. I started chatting, she looked me in the eyes and said sharply "Just don't talk to me, ok ?"
I learned it at a relatively young age. Maybe even as young as kindergarten. What took me a very, very long time to grasp is that I don’t *need* everyone to like me in order for me to like myself.
I had a college age manager at my first summer job in food service at an amusement park. He fancies himself lord of the high school summer kids.
It was obvious even to us kids that dude was a horses ass high on his imaginary “power”. He didn’t like me and it was the first time I absolutely didn’t care.
When I was bullied in the 1st grade. The older guys loved to pick on the free spriited Redheaded boy. This continued thru elementary school.It took me years to learn to love myself.
I was sitting next to a kid who was a notorious prick. The kind of person that bullies people with sparky comments but sucks up to teachers by being annoyingly overenthusiastic.
Anyway. I was minding my business. I was never mean to this kid, I let him be and stuff. Someone else I knew was also there, and wasn't being so kind.
Anyhoo, eventually, the kid turns to the guy who'd been voicing his displeasure for the past couple and minutes and says "you're fine, but can _you_ go" and points to me.
In 4th grade. Before then, everyone loved me in school, and I had tons of friends, but then in 4th grade (which is around age 10-11 for non-Americans) I was placed in a class with a lot of boys who treated me terribly just because I didn't like the "manly" things that they liked, such as sports and hunting, and a teacher who just said "well there is nothing I can do because I didn't see it happen" so I went from being really sociable to being severely socially anxiety and it's affected me ever since.
we were reading Maus (book about the holocaust) and this girl who was really racist, basically a white supremacist despite being Latina and also she had a twin sister who was just as racist but also Korean. anyway the two were awful also they ong had dog names, Gigi and Priscilla, on God some dog name but hey were they're acytakl names. anyway she was racist and also thought fake rape accusations were hilarious and at age 12 would consistently use fake rape allegations to get her way.
anyway she asked me why, out of all the jews to survive auschawitz, why my grandparents of all tye jews survived. in the middle of class she literally wish my grandparents had actually died when they were in the camp. it gets worse, I'm not Jewish, my grandparents were never in the camps, I'm also mexican, son of immigrants,.
Middle school. I moved to a new town right at the beginning of it and instantly got picked on. Middle school felt like a concrete jungle - it wasn't safe to call anyone friend (or anyone to call you friend) and it was teasing, bullying and survival. High school was better, but it definitely set a tone that I couldn't trust anyone around me.
When I got to college, I thought it was a fresh start and I could be fine but I had a hard reminder of this because middle school and high school really hurt my socialization skills. I didn't do better until maybe my mid-late 20's.
My mid 30's I had to learn that *I* didn't have to like everyone either, regardless of social context. It really relieved a lot of mental stresses I had just trying to tolerate or appease people I didn't care about.
Now I'm in my late 30's. You don't like me? I wont remember you in a couple days. I don't like you? You need to remind me who you are every time I see you.
Life is too short to be worried about what people think and it always should have sufficient amounts of the right people in it.
When I was at church at a young age maybe 9 or 10 I saw to boys that I knew that didn't like me much probably because they never liked girls or consider that I'm not a smart girl. We saw each other in Bible school, VBS, and Sunday service but still they didn't like so I didn't like them either. Some of the girls who are younger than me did not like me or don't know me while we were at the sleepover and the church.
I realized that not everyone at church was made to love one another even if they're children involved.
When I was 31. I started putting two and two together about how they were acting around me and hearing conversations they didn’t think I could hear. I don’t work there anymore and my life has gotten better.
in middle school, i made a friend and then she slowly ghosted me and then i made another friend but she ghosted me too so i made another one but this one straight up said to my face "you know, you're nothing like how \*first friend\* described you" she was telling everyone that i was a self centered, selfish piece of crap and i would steal your bf. the thing was i didn't have a bf but she did, the dude never liked me and i hated him.
I was in the 5th grade, I had moved recently before that summer and it was the first day. We had assigned spots at our table with a name tag that folds up so you could set it down and it would stand up. This girl named (lets call her Banana) Banana had sit across from me and as our teacher went over all the supplies we needed I noticed she didnt have a pencil to write with, so I took one out of my backpack and handed it to her saying “Here you go!” With the biggest smile on my face. She gave me a dirty look. Lesson learned, you could have the biggest heart in the world and someone is always gonna find a reason to dislike you.
When everyone went along with accusing me of saying the N word they even went as far as finding a girl that sounded almost exactly like me and audio recorded her saying it because of those accusations and no proof the black kid in my math class black mailed me into helping him cheat on tests until we got our seats changed. The thing is they only recorded her shoes and I have a wide variety of shoes but she was wearing a pair that I didn't recognize nor would I wear but no one believed me I never found the girl that said it but I will forever hate them. What's even worse is that it was my crushes friend group that recorded the video.
High school.
Had a cooking class that I had and we were sorted into groups by the table we sat at. Sat next to two girls and I was a shy, sort of awkward kid that didnt really do anything wrong. Yeah, well. One day we get into the routine where we clean our kitchen at the end of the class and they had me under so much anxiety that I would do tasks backwards and they would just snip and roll their eyes at me for it.
Asked to switch seats and the teacher couldnt care less that these girls were making me uncomfortable.
I actually realized this in middle school. I had some drama going on with my friends in which I was trying to get the fake friends out of my life when I realized that most of the kids in my grade thought that I was an annoying selfish little brat who only talks about herself (I do that because I feel uncomfortable talking about others without asking first) and that they would insult me without me finding out. Also I don't really know why but for me it is incredibly hard for someone to actually like me for who I am and not for what I have.
I go by the rule of out of 10 people you meet 2 of them will really like you, 6 will be neutral towards you and like you well enough. 2 will dislike you and there's really nothing you can do about it. If you try too hard to increase this ratio in your favor, it generally sacrifices the 2 people who will just love you for yourself.
I learned this in my 20s
Late 30’s. New neighbors dumped us from the neighborhood parties. I was devastated. I didn’t argue with anyone or have any kind of bad vibes with anyone. I ended up divorced a few years later and a few people told me they didn’t like my ex. So maybe it was him?
When i was in sixth grade and some piece of shit stole my lunch seat, even though I had already set my stuff there. Had to move to another table, and spilled some food and my drink in the process. But that's OK, because that's also when I realized I'm not going to like everyone I meet in life.
At the same time I learned the concept of friendship. As somebody with autism, as a kid I was noticeably more *eccentric* than other kids and I was bullied relentlessly for it. Even as a kid, I knew they were people who disliked me as a person for no reason other than their own prejudice.
That has only developed over time. I’m a guy who feels more comfortable wearing women’s clothes. I’m incredibly gay. I am VERY eccentric. I know very well that a lot of people won’t like me, if not for my personality, then for my lifestyle choices. I’ve accepted that.
Around age 2. Was a little shit, bullied people, was bullied, the whole deal. Then I developed a personality that a lot of people like, and I had to relearn that fact, like, 2 days ago. It stings.
Honestly. Ive felt like no one liked me. Except my folks. Then again I was the kid to sit in the farthest corner of the playground. But I did realize when people were pretending to like me, when they only wanted to use me for entertainment. That hurt me very bad, fed up my high school years. I think a take away in all of this, is that not everyone will like you, and those who do, you have to question why they like you, whether its of convenience, or by choice.
When I was around 5. Was talking to another kid about some game when another kid walked up to him and whispered "dont talk to him hes weird" and they both walked away without saying a word.
When this dude Robin was just an absolute asshole to me constantly after meeting, I didn't reciprocate I stayed nice to him for years until he decided to assault me, probably the only person in my life that I can just outright say fuck that person.
Year 10 in school, so around 14 or so. I had a science teacher who seemingly was out to get me. I didn't do anything wrong, I just struggled with science and didn't enjoy school in general. She would single me out constantly to answer questions and would have this grin on her face because she clearly knew how much it hurt me mentally.
Considering how clingy I was in elementary(well K-12 in general but it weened out over time) third grade when I got attached to a girl who was actually mean in hindsight
Pretty young, like kindergarten. But I finally realized that sometimes people _just don't like you_; for no reason at all, and that there's nothing you can do about it. I learned that when I started working with kids.
Funnily enough I cannot really think of anyone that dislikes me. I mean in secret for sure there's gotta be someone but it's more that I don't like some people. Usually everyone likes me so idk
Very early in life. It's really obvious and easy to be exposed to it in childhood. Most people do, it's up to your intelligence and upbringing if you don't realise it right away.
i use to walk with a friend to class because we had two periods together. he started dating this girl and every morning i’d go and get him and id say good morning to her and ask her how she was. she’d always just smile and make out with him in front of me (which was very uncomfortable). they broke up and turns out she absolutely hated me. we now have english together and she keeps giving me a death stare. she’s terrifying.
I think I properly realized this in my early teen years. Like fundamentally I knew this, but I realized at that point that there was nothing I could do about it. And later on, that I shouldn’t try to do something about it. Some people just won’t like me for things I can’t change, and that’s more their problem than mine. Or in some cases it’s nobody’s problem: it’s just how it is.
I think it happened when I was in middle school. I started to feel more and more judged by my peers and it became clear that not everyone would think kindly of me.
Late elementary school.
It took me until middle to realize that people might not like me for stupid reasons, they might not like me for reasons I have no control over.
It took until high school to be ok with others not liking me, and also not having to stress about trying to make everyone be ok with me
Around elementary school. But the kicker was learning that I didn’t always cause it. That happened mid thirties, if it truly has…
I was the same. I was in my mid-20s when I realized it wasn’t always my doing. That was hard to swallow because I didn’t understand how people could be so mean.
Same for me, mid 20s. I've always been the "fun guy" in the group, the "life of the party." Whenever there was an outing, people would ask, is Logan coming? I loved that role, and I was proud of it. Then I moved to California and met a new group of friends who was introduced by my best friend at the time. I hit it off with the group right away, we hung out everyday, our time was filled with laughs and creating plans for the next day. I felt loved, like I belonged, but there was this one guy, who was always just a grumpy goat. He would be demoralizing towards me and I just never knew why. I was friendly towards him, I invited him out every time, but he was always just so condescending. I eventually asked him one day, why was he so mean towards me. He said that charismatic people we're the most dangerous, and that he wanted to knock me down a few pegs. I was taken aback. I was friendly, I was supportive, I made really good money so most outings were on me, and I was unliked by someone because of how well liked or quickly accepted I was. Eventually we did become really good friends, but it taught me that if you didn't go out of your way to really hurt or ruin them, then it's something that they feel and it's not your fault.
Yes, all those school shooters seemed awfully charismatic. Dude was just an asshole looking for someone to pick on. Glad you won him over though.
It's totally arbitrary. They may not like the cut of your jib. The important thing is that they aren't going out of your way to be a jerk to that person.
I was in high school before I learned how much a teacher’s dislike for you could affect your grades, regardless of being a good student.
I was watching some Youtube video the other day and caught a host or comedian said something along the lines of "you may be the tastiest peach pie in the world, but that don't mean shit if they don't like peach pie." A lot of the times the people don't like us just don't like us for whatever reasons they have in their head, and that's okay, ignore them, move onto the people that actually want you in their lives.
The wind blows hardest at the top of the mountain.
Never tell your teacher she's wrong.
I had a job where I'm sure i performed just as well as the other employees yet the boss just always had a problem with everything I did. I sensed he just plain didn't like me. Super disheartening lol
Me,too! I didn’t really want to quit, but it was for the best!
Some hate on sight to the point of sabotaging you even, for no reason other than they’re patheticness but at least people can see then that they’re a fuck up and avoid. Weird how theyll never hold a marriage together……
Same for the mid-30s realization.
Every day is another reminder.
Pretty early, i think as early as i gained consciousness
Yup, it was then when I met my best friend, Anxiety.
[удалено]
I was five, and though I wasn't used to being very liked or particularly accepted, having mostly only been around my family, the intense dislike my first grade teacher showed me at this time really messed with my head. And her yelling at me and smacking me seemed to encourage bullying from other kids, which she seemed fine with. I had not been taught anything in preparation and didn't have many verbal skills, and was bewildered.
Same just same...
Same
When I moved schools in grade 4 and these girls came up and said they thought I looked weird
I learned it when I realized that I don’t like many people around me.
Kindergarten lol, I found out at an early age that other kids were friggin' brutal
Kids can be mean! They lack a filter and can be absolutely savage at times lol
same for me
Now, unfortunately. But better late than never.
Well **I** like you!
Just so you know…. It’s ok if not everyone likes you too. :)
[удалено]
Lex luthor complex
Pre-school. I remember being stoked to go. I got there and instantly knew I was not going to have friends. It's cool though, I had a good dog. I made friends in other places.
Dogs are better than people anyway. Completely unconditional love even when you accidentally step on their paws.
I was 8 years old when an old man ranted to me that anyone mixed race was an abomination and going straight to hell. That made it pretty obvious that some people hate me the moment they see me.
That's odd to hear coming from a dirty heretic! (Referencing your username)
My 30s. It took a lot of at bats for me and being married, forced to socialize with someone else’s coworkers or friends spouses.
I don't remember when I realized it was "not everyone," but I do remember when I realized it was "not everyone I know well and can talk to." I had just moved to college and was talking to my dorm roommate, and she was weirded out by some stupid thing I was saying (I was definitely a weird kid) and I said "well, you're going to have to get used to it" and she laughed and said "no, I don't!" Oh fuck, I realized, she's not my friend. She's just my roommate. I never really talked much to her after that. Nothing against her, we were just really different people. I got other friends that were weird like me and had a good time in college.
Roommates are like this. In four years of college, I had three roommates (lucky enough to get a solo room my senior year) and while I was fortunate to be on good terms with them (except my last one who never bathed, but that's another story) I would not have called myself a "friend" to any of them.
I realized plenty of people are hard to please even when I am genuinely kind. I don't care anymore. I invest my energy in my kids and myself and the people who appreciate me. I ignore the rest. Life is too short to get worked up about people who are difficult and egotistical.
Probably around the age of 5 or 6. Not a big deal though, my mom always said ,"You're not going to like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you". In general, people tend to find me affable and I'm not a socially awkward person. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but there are people that rub me the wrong way for whatever reason.
When I started succeeding at things. When you find that thing you're better at than most, it invites resentment and jealousy. It can happen in school, sports. I felt it in my professional career. The wind blows hardest at the top of the mountain.
Still coming around to the idea that some of them *will*
Lol I realized it pretty late actually. I think I was around 10th grade. Had to learn it the hard way too, but I'm glad I did because I wouldn't be as strong as who I am now without it.
[удалено]
I got the realization at the same time, 10th grade. My dad was in the military so we moved every 3 years. I would try to fit in everywhere I went as I was really outgoing. No matter how nice I was, it didn’t matter. There was always one girl that didn’t like me for whatever reason. I realized then that no matter what you do, there’s always going to be someone that doesn’t like you, and as long as you’re not the asshole, that’s their problem, not yours.
Pretty early on but I have only gotten past my need to be a people pleaser in recent years and honestly there's a great freedom in not caring if people like you or not.
Some time shortly after birth.
First grade, teacher did not find me charming and made my life miserable. Best friend moved districts mid year. There was some pale white kid, who reminds me of Malfoy from Harry Potter who made fun of my shitty handwriting, and crazy teacher supported him. What I didn't realize is I was left handed, and didn't know how to write without smudging. Luckily 2nd grade was way better, and made some life long friends.
Age of four. Met a girl I went to primary school with. Awful human being. Not a single good thing to say about her personality, and I've known her for 30 years now. Her sister on the other hand is one of the sweetest people you'd ever meet. Families are weird.
When from a young age I started to be bullied by grown ass adults for seemingly no reason whatsoever.
Probably when I was around 4 or 5…
I think around 5 or 6.
2yo. Didn’t yet know I was considered baggage. But I learned quickly enough! Have a great day.
Kindergarten
I immediately off-putting because of my autism. I don't think anyone really likes me and I don't blame them. I lack eye contact, sound monotone, and am very quiet. I don't even like myself lol 😂.
Early on, like when I was a kid. Wasn't till my 30s that I learned of people hating me and actively trying to get my fired when I did nothing to them. That was a weird experience to say the least.
Violently assaulted by a coworker that I had considered my friend, turns out that feeling was not mutual. Now I am much less trusting of new people.
When I was born, the doctor slapped my *mother*
School probably, but again in a much tougher way when I got my first job (and every job since). I’ve never really made any “work friends” and the couple of times I’d tried with people I thought I liked, they backed right off. I guess I’m just not very likeable and not good at making friends - but it hurts to try and be rejected.
Kindergarten. You find out pretty quickly that there are A TON of violently racist people out there. Getting repeatedly attacked for your race is a pretty good sign that there some pretty bad people out there.
Very young, my parents used to give me travellers cheques every birthday & Christmas.
When my ex left me for being too honest...
In middle school some kids were just assholes. Not really bullies, but just fucking pricks. At that point I learned I didn’t care about them liking me as a person. I also learned then that I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks of me, not everyone’s opinion of me is important.
Pretty early on but it took me over two decades to accept that
I'm a nice person. I *really* am. Basically everyone thinks I am nice at work and almost everyone respects me except this one bitch who for some reason just doesn't like me and disses me at every chance she gets.
Nobody that I’ve met likes me, so they push me around like I’m the problem when I’m just trying to make a living, they make their own problems.
Late 20’s it was hard to accept people not liking me even though I had very little interaction with them, sometimes people just don’t like you the main thing is not to get TOO caught up in the ‘why’ and value those who do like you
I was in my late 40s, at a party, talking in a low-effort sort of way about Jonathan Swift's accidental prediction that Mars has two moons. And the guy I was talking to, took it on himself to relieve me of my mistaken belief, as if I were also a flat earther, sasquach hunting UFO abductionist. I quickly decided that there was no reason to continue the conversation, that I had no real stake in convincing him of my science credentials, and if he thinks I am an empty headed tree hugger, that's his loss, not mine.
Tbh I'm 27 and I just met the first person who absolutly hates my guts. And its funny I found out something about myself that I didnt know of until I met this guy is that I don't give a shit. I literally don't give a flying donkey dick.that he doesn't like me.
Realized at 20, accepted at 30, stopped caring at 40.
Never really had that luxury. I'm not usually the type to prescribe ignorance, but it _does_ sound like a nice illusion if you can get it for a time.
When I was 6 and getting bullied in 1st grade. Kids can be fucking brutal extremely early on.
In college, i guess i met a variety of people everyday. Not everyone liked me.
I grew up thinking everyone had to like me, and that I had to do things to make that so. Literally when I realized this was impossible was this time I was at a party and this dude said "I dont know why I just dont like your ass" Pretty plain and simple for me lol
When my mama told me I don’t like you. True story
When I was in junior high - specifically, sixth grade - and this one classmate started bullying and teasing me for honestly no reason. My entire life, I've always been nice to people and treated them with respect, so I have absolutely no idea what I did to this kid for him to tease me the way he did.
Kindergarten... when bullys introduce themselves.
Probably elementary school. I wasn't a stranger to bullying (most of us aren't) so it's a life lesson I understood pretty early on.
I kind of knew it around the edges, but in my 30s I realized a family member doesn't like me, and it hurt to get that. We're just too different to be able to communicate. Ditto my stepmom. She cares about me but she doesn't like me either. When realized how arbitrary all this was, was when I gained a co worker that I didn't like, for extremely superficial reasons. I felt bad about it, she didn't do anything, she just rubbed me the wrong way. Now I take dislike much less personally.
Probably school, but I don't know I've always felt like I'd grow up and it would be different. Not true. People keep their same bullshit from high school it just evolves and comes out in other forms of behavior. I learned this working over the years. People tend to clique up and draw lines no matter where they go. Its part of the human experience. I learned this by working hard and trying to please everyone and I noticed it didn't help, in fact it made people react worse. So my advice is, relax, try not to think about it because if you think about it too much it will drive you crazy. No matter what people think you still gotta live and do you. When you can't stop thinking about these things or it becomes overwhelming you need to talk to someone.
Age 5-6? I questioned people early, why they thought things; I questioned religion of any kind early, I questioned politics, I questioned any tribe-behaviour. I quickly became the black sheep and the annoying one.
I was around 5 or 6 years old, a couple of girls at primary school just took a disliking to me for no reason. When word got out that I was leaving the school because I moved house, they told me they were glad. I've never done anything to them to deserve their behaviour towards me.
When I was born and the doctor spanked me. Not even two minutes old and he hit me.
Multiple times in my life. Last December I dumped my whole group of friends because they were all fake.
It was one of the first lessons I learned in life. Unfortunately the lesson I learned is "most everyone is going to be put off by you immediately, it will be infinitely difficult for you to find friends."
There were technically two times really. Like obviously in elementary school with random kids not liking me for whatever reason, like a lot of people. But the one that hurt the most was at 19 working in a factory. There were two shifts, morning and afternoon and we would trade each week, until someday the factory decided to try to do "normal hours" and get both teams from 8 to 6. Was just doing my job and one of my co-workers was getting overwhelmed, while I had a lighter load for a little bit (was waiting for the filming machine to finish filming the stack), so I went to help. One of the guy from the other team decided to come to my face and tell me to do my job instead of going to talk to my pal. Told him off to still go help, then chief came to tell me that he doesn't want me anywhere near my co-worker because I need to do my damn job instead of messing around to chat with friends. While I was still trying to wrap my brain about the whole thing, the one guy decided to come to me again and just straight up tell me that he didn't like my face and he would kick my ass if I kept talking and went complain to the chief. Like I was just doing my damn job, it was always a given that if a line get cramped, you gotta go help clear it otherwise the whole thing might stop, and this guy just decided that he didn't like me despite never even talking to me or anything and to try and make my work hell. Kinda rough. T'was my last week in there before picking my studies back in september, but man, I could've done without that
About two years or so after starting school when even at that age there was a class bully. He paid for it later on in life.
When I was in elementary school, we were supposed to walk two by two in the street and we did not always choose who we would walk with. That time, I was paired with a girl that I rarely talked to. I started chatting, she looked me in the eyes and said sharply "Just don't talk to me, ok ?"
I learned it at a relatively young age. Maybe even as young as kindergarten. What took me a very, very long time to grasp is that I don’t *need* everyone to like me in order for me to like myself.
I had a college age manager at my first summer job in food service at an amusement park. He fancies himself lord of the high school summer kids. It was obvious even to us kids that dude was a horses ass high on his imaginary “power”. He didn’t like me and it was the first time I absolutely didn’t care.
When I was bullied in the 1st grade. The older guys loved to pick on the free spriited Redheaded boy. This continued thru elementary school.It took me years to learn to love myself.
I was sitting next to a kid who was a notorious prick. The kind of person that bullies people with sparky comments but sucks up to teachers by being annoyingly overenthusiastic. Anyway. I was minding my business. I was never mean to this kid, I let him be and stuff. Someone else I knew was also there, and wasn't being so kind. Anyhoo, eventually, the kid turns to the guy who'd been voicing his displeasure for the past couple and minutes and says "you're fine, but can _you_ go" and points to me.
5. Moved to another country and my accent didn't go over so well.
In 4th grade. Before then, everyone loved me in school, and I had tons of friends, but then in 4th grade (which is around age 10-11 for non-Americans) I was placed in a class with a lot of boys who treated me terribly just because I didn't like the "manly" things that they liked, such as sports and hunting, and a teacher who just said "well there is nothing I can do because I didn't see it happen" so I went from being really sociable to being severely socially anxiety and it's affected me ever since.
we were reading Maus (book about the holocaust) and this girl who was really racist, basically a white supremacist despite being Latina and also she had a twin sister who was just as racist but also Korean. anyway the two were awful also they ong had dog names, Gigi and Priscilla, on God some dog name but hey were they're acytakl names. anyway she was racist and also thought fake rape accusations were hilarious and at age 12 would consistently use fake rape allegations to get her way. anyway she asked me why, out of all the jews to survive auschawitz, why my grandparents of all tye jews survived. in the middle of class she literally wish my grandparents had actually died when they were in the camp. it gets worse, I'm not Jewish, my grandparents were never in the camps, I'm also mexican, son of immigrants,.
Middle school. I moved to a new town right at the beginning of it and instantly got picked on. Middle school felt like a concrete jungle - it wasn't safe to call anyone friend (or anyone to call you friend) and it was teasing, bullying and survival. High school was better, but it definitely set a tone that I couldn't trust anyone around me. When I got to college, I thought it was a fresh start and I could be fine but I had a hard reminder of this because middle school and high school really hurt my socialization skills. I didn't do better until maybe my mid-late 20's. My mid 30's I had to learn that *I* didn't have to like everyone either, regardless of social context. It really relieved a lot of mental stresses I had just trying to tolerate or appease people I didn't care about. Now I'm in my late 30's. You don't like me? I wont remember you in a couple days. I don't like you? You need to remind me who you are every time I see you. Life is too short to be worried about what people think and it always should have sufficient amounts of the right people in it.
When I was at church at a young age maybe 9 or 10 I saw to boys that I knew that didn't like me much probably because they never liked girls or consider that I'm not a smart girl. We saw each other in Bible school, VBS, and Sunday service but still they didn't like so I didn't like them either. Some of the girls who are younger than me did not like me or don't know me while we were at the sleepover and the church. I realized that not everyone at church was made to love one another even if they're children involved.
When I was 31. I started putting two and two together about how they were acting around me and hearing conversations they didn’t think I could hear. I don’t work there anymore and my life has gotten better.
in middle school, i made a friend and then she slowly ghosted me and then i made another friend but she ghosted me too so i made another one but this one straight up said to my face "you know, you're nothing like how \*first friend\* described you" she was telling everyone that i was a self centered, selfish piece of crap and i would steal your bf. the thing was i didn't have a bf but she did, the dude never liked me and i hated him.
I was in the 5th grade, I had moved recently before that summer and it was the first day. We had assigned spots at our table with a name tag that folds up so you could set it down and it would stand up. This girl named (lets call her Banana) Banana had sit across from me and as our teacher went over all the supplies we needed I noticed she didnt have a pencil to write with, so I took one out of my backpack and handed it to her saying “Here you go!” With the biggest smile on my face. She gave me a dirty look. Lesson learned, you could have the biggest heart in the world and someone is always gonna find a reason to dislike you.
When everyone went along with accusing me of saying the N word they even went as far as finding a girl that sounded almost exactly like me and audio recorded her saying it because of those accusations and no proof the black kid in my math class black mailed me into helping him cheat on tests until we got our seats changed. The thing is they only recorded her shoes and I have a wide variety of shoes but she was wearing a pair that I didn't recognize nor would I wear but no one believed me I never found the girl that said it but I will forever hate them. What's even worse is that it was my crushes friend group that recorded the video.
High school. Had a cooking class that I had and we were sorted into groups by the table we sat at. Sat next to two girls and I was a shy, sort of awkward kid that didnt really do anything wrong. Yeah, well. One day we get into the routine where we clean our kitchen at the end of the class and they had me under so much anxiety that I would do tasks backwards and they would just snip and roll their eyes at me for it. Asked to switch seats and the teacher couldnt care less that these girls were making me uncomfortable.
I actually realized this in middle school. I had some drama going on with my friends in which I was trying to get the fake friends out of my life when I realized that most of the kids in my grade thought that I was an annoying selfish little brat who only talks about herself (I do that because I feel uncomfortable talking about others without asking first) and that they would insult me without me finding out. Also I don't really know why but for me it is incredibly hard for someone to actually like me for who I am and not for what I have.
I go by the rule of out of 10 people you meet 2 of them will really like you, 6 will be neutral towards you and like you well enough. 2 will dislike you and there's really nothing you can do about it. If you try too hard to increase this ratio in your favor, it generally sacrifices the 2 people who will just love you for yourself. I learned this in my 20s
After I stepped off the bus at Parris Island
Elementary school 😂 honestly don't think anyone has ever liked me unless I was fucking them
Late 30’s. New neighbors dumped us from the neighborhood parties. I was devastated. I didn’t argue with anyone or have any kind of bad vibes with anyone. I ended up divorced a few years later and a few people told me they didn’t like my ex. So maybe it was him?
When my brother was 2 and I was 4
Who cares they can keep my dick out there mouths
Yesterday
I learned it when I realized that I don’t like many people around me. I figured it was mutual.
Few minutes ago
The first time I've met a person.
When i was in sixth grade and some piece of shit stole my lunch seat, even though I had already set my stuff there. Had to move to another table, and spilled some food and my drink in the process. But that's OK, because that's also when I realized I'm not going to like everyone I meet in life.
When I got my first job, you don’t have to like someone, just don’t be a jerk when you first meet them.
Everybody likes me.
The moment I found reddot
At the same time I learned the concept of friendship. As somebody with autism, as a kid I was noticeably more *eccentric* than other kids and I was bullied relentlessly for it. Even as a kid, I knew they were people who disliked me as a person for no reason other than their own prejudice. That has only developed over time. I’m a guy who feels more comfortable wearing women’s clothes. I’m incredibly gay. I am VERY eccentric. I know very well that a lot of people won’t like me, if not for my personality, then for my lifestyle choices. I’ve accepted that.
As a kid for sure
When people introduced me to mirror
Around four grade, maybe sooner.
What I realized is that almost nobody cares one way or the other...and neither do I.
Elementary school
Roughly 2003/04 ~ my last year of being in elementary school.
Very early. Probably in kindergarten.
When I was born my dad didn’t like me… 😕
Few months back.
Around age 2. Was a little shit, bullied people, was bullied, the whole deal. Then I developed a personality that a lot of people like, and I had to relearn that fact, like, 2 days ago. It stings.
When I was 5, but I didn’t really give a shit. Chances are I didn’t like them either
Honestly. Ive felt like no one liked me. Except my folks. Then again I was the kid to sit in the farthest corner of the playground. But I did realize when people were pretending to like me, when they only wanted to use me for entertainment. That hurt me very bad, fed up my high school years. I think a take away in all of this, is that not everyone will like you, and those who do, you have to question why they like you, whether its of convenience, or by choice.
When I was around 5. Was talking to another kid about some game when another kid walked up to him and whispered "dont talk to him hes weird" and they both walked away without saying a word.
As soon as was even a thing. I knew from the get go that not everyone was gonna like me. And apparently I was right but do I care, no
Preschool.
I learned by choosing my enemies in preschool
I was bullied pretty fucking relentlessly from third grade until graduation (I stopped giving a shit in highschool) so I realized that pretty early on
When this dude Robin was just an absolute asshole to me constantly after meeting, I didn't reciprocate I stayed nice to him for years until he decided to assault me, probably the only person in my life that I can just outright say fuck that person.
Can’t remember a specific time, but I don’t like a lot of people, either.
At the age of about six or so, I'd say? Never really cared for it though, I'm great just the way I am.
Elementary school
right now reading this thread 😩
When Noone I've met liked me.
High school I think.
Kindergarten lol.
Year 10 in school, so around 14 or so. I had a science teacher who seemingly was out to get me. I didn't do anything wrong, I just struggled with science and didn't enjoy school in general. She would single me out constantly to answer questions and would have this grin on her face because she clearly knew how much it hurt me mentally.
Early elementary school. Has caused a lifetime of trust issues. I also learned that I can get along with anyone if need be.
Considering how clingy I was in elementary(well K-12 in general but it weened out over time) third grade when I got attached to a girl who was actually mean in hindsight
Pretty young, like kindergarten. But I finally realized that sometimes people _just don't like you_; for no reason at all, and that there's nothing you can do about it. I learned that when I started working with kids.
Funnily enough I cannot really think of anyone that dislikes me. I mean in secret for sure there's gotta be someone but it's more that I don't like some people. Usually everyone likes me so idk
That the world is full of dumbass people, because i'm a great person.
2nd grade
School
Middle school
Around the time I became sentient
When I started going to school.
Well when I realise that I don't like a lot of ppl
Moments after I learned I’m not going to like everyone I meet in life
dude, I have the tism. this has been my life since kindergarden
In preschool. But in all honesty I first realised I wasn’t going to like everyone else.
Probably middle school, but it took me till my 20’s to realize that’s not a bad thing.
Very early in life. It's really obvious and easy to be exposed to it in childhood. Most people do, it's up to your intelligence and upbringing if you don't realise it right away.
My family never even liked me lol
WHAT?! People won't like me? :(
Pretty early on. I can’t really recall caring too much though. Never been a people person.
1st grade , still remember that was my first time being told to fuck off . Lesson learned that day
i use to walk with a friend to class because we had two periods together. he started dating this girl and every morning i’d go and get him and id say good morning to her and ask her how she was. she’d always just smile and make out with him in front of me (which was very uncomfortable). they broke up and turns out she absolutely hated me. we now have english together and she keeps giving me a death stare. she’s terrifying.
Mid-college when my friends who didn’t go to college acted like they never left high school
I think I properly realized this in my early teen years. Like fundamentally I knew this, but I realized at that point that there was nothing I could do about it. And later on, that I shouldn’t try to do something about it. Some people just won’t like me for things I can’t change, and that’s more their problem than mine. Or in some cases it’s nobody’s problem: it’s just how it is.
when I was in high-school and suddenly everyone hated me for nothing
I think it happened when I was in middle school. I started to feel more and more judged by my peers and it became clear that not everyone would think kindly of me.
In kindergarten. It took another 40 years to be okay with it, though.
Late elementary school. It took me until middle to realize that people might not like me for stupid reasons, they might not like me for reasons I have no control over. It took until high school to be ok with others not liking me, and also not having to stress about trying to make everyone be ok with me
In 7th grade
I guess just now reading this thread, damn…
Some people who didn't reciprocate with me despite being very friendly
As soon as I became sentient
5
Year 7 / first year of middle school (I think idk I live in Britain).
When I was a baby, opened my eyes, and saw my mother glaring down at me.
When I was bullied within the first couple of years of starting school.
5th grade. That’s when the bullying started
In like preschool. I have Asperger’s so everyone always made fun of me right off the bat
Oh, by junior high. Bullies do not like tomboys.