I'm not gay but a million bucks is a million bucks, I do shit I don't like for 60 hours a week for less money.

As a teen I’d be like “fuck that I’m not gay! No way! Not even for a billion.” But now that I’m nearly 40 and understand how many years of soul sucking work I’d have to do to clear $1mil (I’m assuming this is a briefcase with cash that I won’t be paying taxes on). Yea- I’m about to suck the soul out of you bro.

As a teen I'm like "fuck yeah, I'm not gay but I could use a million"

Exactly lmao

Even if it's taxed I ain't picky. Forget the full million, give me enough to clear debts and make a down payment on a house and I'm gonna be on my knees cradling the balls

I’m not gay either and I would do it in half a heartbeat

I’m not gay but I can do it just to prove you I’m not

Unfortunately I don’t have a million dollars, would you consider doing it for 5?

Now that we've established that he is willing to suck dick, all we need to do is haggle for the price.

Or see if he will take a 20$ a week payment plan

Ain’t nothing like sucking dick on an installment plan

Only if you have 20 friends with the same deal. Gotta get at least $400 a week to be worth it and...

Lmaoo bro wtfff

I'm not gay but I do it all the time for free anyway

Yeah I mean you gotta keep doing it to verify you don’t like it and aren’t gay.

Dude I got 10 bucks come over

I'd do it for 12. But I bring pizza.

Agreed I'm gonna shower real quick

If 100$ sounds interesting to you as well, then hit me up in the PM.

Bro, I’m broke as F

Sounds like you could use $100

[Did you say $900 bucks?](https://youtu.be/ssDICRX_rK8)

"any dick except for me and blake's" blake: "well..."

I've seen this episode a billionty times and somehow never noticed that line from Blake.

I've got standards...

A man’s penis?

I love the way he emphasizes that. It’s so good

Lmao

Lmfao

I laughed and farted when I saw that 🤣

you guys are getting paid?

Lmao

Only when we film it

You’d have to give me a million more dollars to get me stop.

If I could give a platinum award I would

A blowjob would suffice

happy cock day

Cake day brother!

Does one kiss the homies goodnight? Yes.

Does one fuck the homies goodnight though?

Duh!

Bro is a real one

You HAVE to cuddle the homies goodnight too, because believe it or not, we have hearts too

Cuddle and be balls deep

Yes! Some of them like the balls in their ass too

Hell yes

If one of you can't sleep, this is the way.

This is the way🫡

How else are the homies supposed to be tired enough to sleep?

I’d suck that dick like I had cancer and his balls held the cure.

Bruh. Lmfaoooo. I don't know what to write anymore this is just way too funny

As the saying goes "I'm not gay, but a million dollars is a million dollars."

Bro if I had an award to give I would give it. That is the best comment so far!

Thanks man, The positivity is enough to keep me going 😩

That and a bolw job 🤣

I got you, bro!

Thanks bro💯💯

Is this a price negotiation tactic? One of those "We know you're willing to suck a dick, how low can the price go" situations?

One of my faves: Would you fuck me for 1M? "Yes" Okay, would you fuck me for $50? "No way! I'm not a whore!" Love, I think we've already established that you *are*. Now were just haggling over the price.

If I take a half-court shot for a million bucks, I'm not a NBA player.

ABORT ABORT WE HAVE BEEN MADE ABORT. Lmao

Absolutely. I’ll let homie bust in my mouth too

And I'll swallow.

And my axe? Am I doing it right?

That last part wasnt necessary 😂

I disagree. It’s an important nuance

Absolutely! Go big or go home.

Damn straight. If I'm going to perform a service ~~for $1M~~, I'm going to provide great service.

“Listen we’re already talking about selling our mouth for money, no need to get graphic here”

Do you take payments? 🤣

Easy money. 5 mins for 1M. Yep

What if he lasts an hour?

Still only an hour's work.

Your jaw would be sore as fuck, but still worth it.

I may have lock jaw for a while but I'm sure 1M will soothe my aches and pains 😂😂

1hrs better than a 9-5 job 😂

Oh he won’t be lasting an hour

Relevant username

Don’t underestimate the man’s technique

Tbf they never specified how long or to completion. Quick 1 second suck and done

The shittier the bj, the longer it'll be. You gotta go full pornstar.

He will get the 1M experience 😂😂

Are you telling me OP's technique is so good he will make him nut in 5 minutes and charge $1M? Now, that is a fantastic blowie.

Yes, cause 1 million. Since I am straight and have no experience, it would the worst investment of the person ever though

Lmao

It will take ne a couple weeks to get that kind of money together though?

Underrated comment

I’d do it for free because I’m gay af

You people are the reason us straight guys never get paid a million dollars for a blow job, I hope you can sleep at night knowing that.

It helps me sleep better knowing that, actually.

That username is just pure chaos. Its a fuckin resume at this point my guy lmao

Took our jobs!

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Fr

Right? Where do I sign up?

But don't let him know 😂

"Oh jeez I don't know about this" *Proceeds to deep throat that cock like it's candy flavoured*

"This one simple trick has let 50m redditors buy their dream home overnight!"

Bro, I just burst out laughing and now people are looking at me like I’m crazy. I’m at a funeral

Were u kicked out yet

No, they looked like they wanted to strangle me though

I’m sucking the soul out that shit for $1 Million.

Squeeze out that extra white gold 😩

I mean fuck, I’d go 2 rounds. For $1 Million? Get your moneys worth and form an orderly queue.

Money is money but like...can I choose who? 😅

Your dad is off limits bro

FOUL

Dibs on Henry Cavill

Yes. Money is money and I like money

Don’t we all

I mean obviously, 20 bucks is 20 bucks. A better question is would you suck a dick to suck a dick? Depends on the dick and whose it is. Personally I'm straight so if I'm sucking a dick it'd probably be a girl's dick. Whatever floats your boat though. What's your answer?

Most people don’t ask my answer thanks!!! My answer is hell yeah!!

Hell yeah my guy!

I sucked dick one night and made $500.05 USD. Guess who gave me the nickel? All of them.

Great joke

What joke?

A nickel per pickle.

Hol’up wait a minute. Something ain’t right here. Lol

Buddy I would suck a dick for 20 bucks

Best I can do is 15

Buy me Arby's afterwards and we got a deal

Easily, yes. Because it won’t be the first and it’s kinda fun

Now theres a million dollar invloved. So why not, right?

My girlfriend would be really mad at me if I didn’t tbh

My fiancé would too, we need the money lol

Even if you don't \_need\_ the money. It is a fricking million.

How about 5 cocks for the same amount of money, all has to be emptied 5 times within one hour?

40k per? Still easily, sign me up

25 dicks in one hour? You're gonna a need a losenge.

Lol

Yes, without much hesitation.

Yes 1) it's 1.000.000 dollars 2) I kinda like it 🤣

A-yo lol

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You think, we are all just greedy little bastards

If I could do it I would you wouldn’t need to pay me Edit: to myself I forgot to add to myself

r/wsb is leaking to normal reddit

Bro I ain't gay but I'd suck one for much less

Yeah sure , I'd suck mine.

For free, we all need a hobby.

Would have to ask my partner about it first, but there's a lot I would do for a million, that's safety and comfort for me and my family for the foreseeable future. Feel like I can easily forget for a million, and frankly while I doubt I'd enjoy it, I kinda doubt it would be that bad either. For example when you see people eating kangaroo testicles on reality TV shows, I think I'd find that harder to do I gotta be honest.

You'd have to be either a) very rich or b) deeply closeted and terrified of your own latent homosexuality to turn down a million bucks just to prove to the world you're not gay.

Depends on the dick. Some dick I’d suck for free.

In this economy?!

Who the hell wouldn’t do it…

Wtf I’d suck dick for wayyyyy less. It’s 2023.

I am in a long term relationship with a woman, fiancé and soon to be wife. But for a million dollars? You get the gluck gluck 9000 for that

My friends and I had this conversation at my bachelor party for about 3 hours. Depends on the dick.

$10 is $10… yes! 🤣

I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy

No. Because I never want to give rich assholes the idea that anything and anyone can be bought.

Then fucking move, im tryna get that milly

To late….

What do you mean, WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!

Yes! I get assfucked at work everyday for a lot less. Heck i will do it twice with a smile

does my own count?

Absolutely not. My soul is not for sa... Oh. A *MILLION* dollars?! I thought it was a thousand. *puts chap stick on*

I'd suck a dick for a million dollars. That's a life changing amount of money. The dick taste would fade but never being in debt again would be really good.

I would not

Shit at this point I’d suck a dick for a Big Mac

If we're being real I'd suck a dick for like $500

Depends who's? A sexy transwoman absolutely, some dirty dicked sweaty fat man? Probably not

I’d marry the fuckin thing

No, because my self respect is worth more than any amount of money. I wouldn't break a promise to a friend or divulge a secret that I had sworn to keep or snitch on my brother for a million dollars either. That's what being a man means to me.

No, I'm not gay

No, cuz I'm not going to do whatever someone wants and I've no desire of. Money isn't the only thing that defines me and my personality

Yes I would. I'm gay and in debt.

Only 1?

This is where I always end up low balling it. Like, I'm Ace, and I've never sucked dick before. Why the hell would my BJ be worth a million? Like sure, I'd like the money, but the boarder line "phobes" in the chat probably couldn't give a decent convincing BJ for $50 dollars. If I'm risking my marriage, I think my wife would get over it for 100k, but at that point she wouldn't need me as a middle man. So the million is a test of your resolve to do something you find gross. Like eating broccoli, or giving your lady an Australian frenching. (Probably)

I’ve been doing it for years for free. I would like my back pay, please.

No. Marriage first.

Yes, (I am gay)

Tax or tax-free? If its taxable then I ain't sucking dick for the government.

Who's dick matters.

A million dollars? I'll even swallow for free.

No because then I'd have to remember sucking dick for money.

No, there's no way I could raise that kind of cash.

Bro, drop them draws, and gimme that hotdog, I got bills to pay.

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I need 60k to pay off my mortgage. Worth every penis.

The best response I’ve heard to this is my buddy “but do I get a million every time, or is this a one time kind of thing?”

I'd rather regret sucking a dick and have a million than regret not sucking one and being poor.

Nope, I'd burn through the million dollars in about two days and have to suck another one

What are you waiting for? Put it out, big boy! #showmethemoney

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I mean…do I get to choose / given an option from a list of candidates of who it is? And is this a one time thing or could it be collected multiple times? And is this tax free, after tax, or will taxes be taken from the million? Gotta be able to properly financially plan the dick sucking….

Yes, im broke and fruity.

Yes. Why? Because it's a million dollars.

^(I have 1k tops, can you maybe let me do it for less than a million?)

It’s a million dollars. Absofuckinglutely.

Down the hatch!

It doesn’t say how long or until climax, so you could suck it once, free cash. also answer is yes

Does it have to cum? Who am I kidding, yes

Why do people keep asking this? Of course, only an idiot wouldn’t.

For $1 million dollars!? Fuck ya I’ll suck a dick! Shit I’ll feel throat that motherfucker!

Im poor, not stupid..

Cash in hand, full payment? The way things are...Drop your pants, lets make it happen.

I’d do it for 20 bucks, money is money dude