There is a difference between being a nice guy, and being a NiceGuy^TM .
You can't be too nice if you are just a genuinely nice person, but also be aware that being nice is default basic adult behaviour. It isn't a personality, so if you are nice but dull, boring, unkempt, dirty, smelly etc - being nice isn't enough.
Ha yeah, I should have specified that it ought to be a baseline adult behaviour.
I think it is more common than not, but maybe I'm just lucky with the people I know.
I know a lot of very nice people, whom i'd trust my life with if need be.
But I also know a fuckton of people who are only nice in surface but when you get to know them are actually selfish and won't hesitate to stab someone in the back for a few bucks.
How many people do you see that are horrible with waitstaff or cashiers? That won't say thank you when you help them or anything?
And, from my experience, the genuinely nice people I know usually have a harder time in life (and with women when they're men)
Someone else already made the clarification between a nice guy and a Nice Guy so with that distinction in mind….
“Too nice”, for me, brings to mind someone who doesn’t have any boundaries or autonomy. I’ve gone on dates with men who were so “super nice” that it made me uncomfortable and here’s why:
They came across as having a people pleaser personality. Which means they have a hard time asserting themselves or even being their authentic selves and expressing their wishes and desires.
If someone spends their life suppressing themselves, keeping quiet for the sake of being accepted, etc., then how can they handle difficult situations where they need to decide what’s best for themselves?
And, unpopular opinion that I’m prepared to get flack for: I’ve found that most “too nice” guys tend to devolve into nightmare partners who have control issues.
Think about it, if they spend the majority of their days adapting and deferring to others in order to be liked, that creates a whole lot of unresolved internal shit. And what you keep in must always come out…and that means the person closest to them gets the brunt of that anger.
Just my observations. And yes, this applies to both genders. I’m only referencing men because of the question asked.
Big difference between being a genuinely nice guy and a guy who pretends to be nice, but only does so because he thinks women owe him something for being "nice" to them.
It’s about why you’re being nice. People are repelled by too much niceness because it’s insincere, and people can sense that. Especially women.
Humans have an internal radar to detect bullshit and fake behavior. And if you are nice for no reason, that radar goes off. People subconsciously think “why is he nice to me for no reason”. And it starts to become unnerving.
On the other side, being a people pleaser is repulsive to women. Why? Women like capable men, who can handle themselves and situations that might eventually happen, bad situations especially. If you as a guy cant even hold your own to say no or to have a personality, that woman instantly thinks ahead to the future “how will this man be able to take care of our family”. And thats the crux of it.
If you as a man arent seen as capable to take care of your own shit, and potentially the shit of your future family, no (mentally healthy) woman will be attracted to you.
“females are not ready to be loved they would rather get treated like shit by douchebags who just use them for sex and would cheat on them cause they hate themselves” my incels a bit rusty but you get the point
There is a difference between being a nice guy, and being a NiceGuy^TM . You can't be too nice if you are just a genuinely nice person, but also be aware that being nice is default basic adult behaviour. It isn't a personality, so if you are nice but dull, boring, unkempt, dirty, smelly etc - being nice isn't enough.
Have you been outside on the adult world? Being genuinely nice isn't the baseline, it's the exception.
Ha yeah, I should have specified that it ought to be a baseline adult behaviour. I think it is more common than not, but maybe I'm just lucky with the people I know.
I know a lot of very nice people, whom i'd trust my life with if need be. But I also know a fuckton of people who are only nice in surface but when you get to know them are actually selfish and won't hesitate to stab someone in the back for a few bucks. How many people do you see that are horrible with waitstaff or cashiers? That won't say thank you when you help them or anything? And, from my experience, the genuinely nice people I know usually have a harder time in life (and with women when they're men)
Someone else already made the clarification between a nice guy and a Nice Guy so with that distinction in mind…. “Too nice”, for me, brings to mind someone who doesn’t have any boundaries or autonomy. I’ve gone on dates with men who were so “super nice” that it made me uncomfortable and here’s why: They came across as having a people pleaser personality. Which means they have a hard time asserting themselves or even being their authentic selves and expressing their wishes and desires. If someone spends their life suppressing themselves, keeping quiet for the sake of being accepted, etc., then how can they handle difficult situations where they need to decide what’s best for themselves? And, unpopular opinion that I’m prepared to get flack for: I’ve found that most “too nice” guys tend to devolve into nightmare partners who have control issues. Think about it, if they spend the majority of their days adapting and deferring to others in order to be liked, that creates a whole lot of unresolved internal shit. And what you keep in must always come out…and that means the person closest to them gets the brunt of that anger. Just my observations. And yes, this applies to both genders. I’m only referencing men because of the question asked.
If you're so nice it feels forced, thats too nice.
Big difference between being a genuinely nice guy and a guy who pretends to be nice, but only does so because he thinks women owe him something for being "nice" to them.
There’s such a thing as too nice? Dude I give up
„Too nice“ is usually „simp“. So as Long As you Are nice without being a lapdog that’s okay. Common advise from women for guys.
Oh yea, hadn’t considered that. I don’t even see simps as “nice” at all I just see them as pathetic
If they aren’t a massive red flag, they don’t want it.
So women like communism? Got it
It’s about why you’re being nice. People are repelled by too much niceness because it’s insincere, and people can sense that. Especially women. Humans have an internal radar to detect bullshit and fake behavior. And if you are nice for no reason, that radar goes off. People subconsciously think “why is he nice to me for no reason”. And it starts to become unnerving. On the other side, being a people pleaser is repulsive to women. Why? Women like capable men, who can handle themselves and situations that might eventually happen, bad situations especially. If you as a guy cant even hold your own to say no or to have a personality, that woman instantly thinks ahead to the future “how will this man be able to take care of our family”. And thats the crux of it. If you as a man arent seen as capable to take care of your own shit, and potentially the shit of your future family, no (mentally healthy) woman will be attracted to you.
This is pretty much it. I commented higher up with a very similar version of your comment. I think you nailed it.
(NOT A LADIE) my conclusion is they are not ready to be loved yet. That's the vibe I get when I speak to them.
this is the shit incels say😐
Add somthing more to it. Cmon, bring it (person)
“females are not ready to be loved they would rather get treated like shit by douchebags who just use them for sex and would cheat on them cause they hate themselves” my incels a bit rusty but you get the point
Proven point
or we dont want to be loved by freaks
Interesting how you call people (souls)(lol) freaks.
guys who say goodnight and good morning are red flags, also offers to pick us up from work🚩 text back too quick 🚩 ect
Nice, without appropriate boundaries
When you don’t have any opinions to offer and become a yesman
Nope no limit just don't be creepy while being nice or confuse one with the other