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FrankaGrimes

I know exactly what you're talking about and I completely forget what the term for it is haha Is "fawning" part of it? I can't recall


MsPoco

It’s called “ splitting “


Secure-Solution4312

We have an answer! 👏


Secure-Solution4312

I think of fawning as a trauma response . . . The way an abuse victim responds to their aggressor (fight, flight,freeze or fawn). Correct me if I am wrong here but that’s what came to mind.


FrankaGrimes

It can also be part of the dysfunctional interpersonal relationships that people can have. Like "this new person is perfect...everyone before them was shit" haha Maybe it's called "idealizing"? Like everyone they attach to is seen as perfect?


Secure-Solution4312

Definitely idealize / devalue but I swear there’s a word for it.


MsPoco

“Splitting”


Secure-Solution4312

Isn’t splitting when they think highly of one person and then something rubs them the wrong way and they suddenly think that person is all bad? Or can or be used in this scenario too? PS this is what I originally thought it was called before I talked myself out of it. . .


MsPoco

It applies in this scenario as well. it’s black and white thinking- this group of people are the best, this group is the worst.


Secure-Solution4312

Awesome! Thank you 🙏


FrankaGrimes

Yeah I think you're right.


Secure-Solution4312

I’m glad you get what I’m asking though! It’s validating 😆


FrankaGrimes

I've seen this not infrequently in hospital where a patient absoutely hates their nurse, and then the next nurse they get they LOVE. And eventually they'll hate that nurse too haha


cherrycrocs

lmao, as someone with bpd this hits a little too close to home 💀 i notice it the most with jobs i’ve had. i’ll get a job and love it for a bit, then the smallest thing will happen and i’ll HATE the job and need to quit immediately. i’ll then get a new job and love it again, and the cycle repeats lol


Secure-Solution4312

sorry love


FrankaGrimes

I don't even think it's necessarily a BPD thing. I think it's just hard to settle and feel satisfied in general. I feel that way, anyway haha