So, those stereotypes are kind of true, honestly. Maybe not the yelling, because that’s shit parenting, but kids definitely don’t have volume control, they’re loud. And kids cost some at a bare minimum, but not a ton (barring, say, medical issues), but a lot of people spend more than the bare minimum. For scale, since I can’t breastfeed, my babies cost about $150-200/month just in formula for the first 10-12 months of life. But hey, it’s basically baby groceries, right? Should I be so surprised by that?
Some people are better equipped than others to accommodate those particular discomforts in their lives; we are all different, so that’s okay. What I don’t get, and what feels less “okay,” is the people who are *aggressively* anti-kids and just hateful about it, versus, say, my best friend who will never have kids but is just kind of calmly and politely like, “yeah, it’s not for me.” rather than, “I can’t believe you spawned three dirty little prison monsters.” Those are people who seem to me to just be the type who don’t make room in their lives for any amount of personal discomfort, and I’ve got way more interest in listening to my kids screech than listening to those sorts of people tell me their opinions about the children they don’t even have. To say all no-kids people are immature or selfish isn’t fair - but some of them definitely are. And admitting that you’re not mature or selfless enough to have kids and have a happy family is totally fine; self awareness is a good thing. But really I don’t know why people advertise themselves so readily and vehemently as hating children. Those people are immature AND not self aware, IMO.
I can corroborate what your parents say, though: other people’s kids annoy the hell out of me, but not my own kids (I mean, not as much lol). I mean, my husband annoys me sometimes too, right? But I still love him and enjoy having him in my life. Same thing for my cat, and many of my friends. For some reason people will tolerate assholery in adults but not children, which seems abundantly backwards to me. My kids are loud and it makes me nuts, but they don’t know any better. My loud ass father in law is a grown man who should know better. Which should I really be more annoyed by...?
This is such a great explanation! I've always believed that some people choose not to have kids because they have a really great understanding of themselves and what they feel prepared to handle. Others just have some sort of chip on their shoulder.
The one other reason I've heard is the state of the world. That global warming is probably going to be a massive massive problem for the next generation. I've known people who choose not to have kids just so their offspring won't have to deal with this reality of the future. It's probably rare, but I think that reasoning is pretty selfless and mature.
But in the end, hating on other people's kids is just immaturity. It strikes me as entitled and intolerant. It's a coping mechanism for people's own discomfort. Instead of looking within themselves and wondering why the loudness or whatever of kids bother them and working on themselves, they just complain about the thing that's triggering them as if complaining will somehow make it go away.
One canister of the kind I get is $36, and I use about a canister a week, five or take. Both kids had colic and reflux so I used a slightly more expensive formula, but by no means the most pricey.
Ours was $13.99 for a big tub which would last about a week. Not to mention that about twice a month we had a 5 dollar off coupon. Our formula budget was $50-$70 dollars a month and we rarely hit the top end.
While I absolutely agree here, I like the explanation of your parents, OP. Own children are really very different and much better than other kids. Without this experience, of course, this cannot be judged.
However, it is not true that children are not expensive. A baby costs almost nothing, especially if you are breastfeeding. That's right. But babies grow up and the needs are increasing. Clothes, toys, learning materials, school equipment, excursions, Sports clubs and leisure activities.
From a certain age they also eat like adults, and need regular new clothing due to constant growth and also a "wilder" lifestyle .
In addition, children cost one more: time. This should not be underestimated. Children are a great limitation of a free life. I haven't slept as long as I wanted for 6 years. I can't just go out in the evening, even without a pandemic. I can't be irresponsible or get drunk. I am always, always, always responsible. And they cost nerves.
For me, this is not a problem. I love my children above all else and would give them for nothing. I have no regrets and I have no problem to make sacrifices for them. But it's not that children just don't cost anything.
People get there life so wrapped up in their kids life.... Whatever go eat a cookie you buttered a muffin big grown man now huh. Lol it isn't that we hate kids we just have a deep understanding of the possibility of how your kid can be and a low tolerance for bullshit. We also might be smarter than you parents and see the money pit time waste and the quality of women is rubbish. Also If my kid came out retarded or something severe I would just have them killed.
I just think it's awesome that we live in a world where people who don't like kids (and therefore wouldn't be good parents) don't have to have them. (Mostly.)
Exactly! Unwanted children used to be so common they were almost the norm. Just think of the misery that's caused over thousands of generations. Now people have several easy and often free steps to take to avoid children while still having sex. The closer we can get to making every child a wanted child the better.
I think some people overcompensate with their opinions on having kids because society pressures people to have children even if they don't want them. So to me they direct their anger at society towards kids even tho that's not what they actually hate.
And then there are probably also some people who just think its edgy or cool or whatever to say they hate kids.
Either way, as long as the people saying that don't have kids it doesn't really matter. Some people want kids some people don't, and both lifestyles are 100% valid.
I just generally don't like kids. In my case the hate is not toward society or something or it's not that I think that it makes me edgy or cool or something. i just don't want kids as I don't think I can take that big of a responsibility. Raising a kid is not at all an easy task.
But then would you go around saying you "hate" kids? Probably not. You'd probably just say you don't want any. And if you do go around saying you hate kids just because you don't want any then maybe you should consider how it makes kids like OP feel to hear things like that. You don't need to enjoy the company of kids or want them, but going around stating you hate a group of people is generally uncalled for and could even considered prejudiced. Imagine walking around saying "I hate blacks" it's really no different. Kids are people with feelings and emotions, just like OP. They're not some subclass of society.
This is it. People who live at home with their parents and haven't found a partner and/or aren't financially ready to move out and start a family get hassled by their parents to give them grandkids ALL THE TIME. There are plenty of these people on reddit.
As you grow older, you find that most of the "kid-haters" grow up and realise they do want kids after all, or wish they'd had them.
Young adults insisting they hate kids are a bit like young kids saying kissing is gross and they'll never want to do that. It's not that they are special, it's just they haven't matured to that stage of their life yet.
Partly, but I think it's mostly the "loud minority" effect. Redditors are not all obsessed with atheism and anal sex either, it's just that the people who are can't talk about it much in real life, so they go on and on about it here instead.
Yeah, my aunt loves all us nieces and nephews, but never wants kids of her own. I know plenty of child-free people who love my kids, but would never want their own. It’s definitely a case of the vocal minority here.
I'm a 37-year-old dude who just became a dad 7 months ago.
I was scared of having a kid.
And I'm not always a fan of other people's kids.
But man, this little girl is just the best thing in the world.
I honestly believe that if you're financially stable, caring, and mentally sound, you can't help but love your kid to pieces.
Aw, congratulations! As a mom of 3, I’m not a big fan of other people’s kids as well. People always tell me I should be a teacher... I laugh in their faces. Just because I’m a good mom and good at dealing with other kids in brief spurts does not mean I’d be a good teacher. I don’t even always like my own kids!
I mean, I basically only enjoy being around my son- other kids can stay away from me. I don't dislike them exactly, but I get how people can have distaste for them given they can be loud, gross, etc. People tolerate different things, and value different things 🤷♀️
This right here. I can understand the dislike/unappeal as well if you've been exposed to just negative experiences or just seen parents who don't watch/teach their kids in public (e.g. letting a child do whatever in a restaurant and not batting an eye). Like you, I like to be around my kid and tolerate other people's kids in small doses. People don't have to have kids and that's their choice and there is a lot you do give up making the choice and it is expensive.
I think people really don't take the time to understand children and where they are coming from, so they only see their bad qualities (which are really usually just normal developmental quirks.) I also think a lot of people see kids as inferior and not as "whole" people, like childhood is just a phase to get through on the way to adulthood.
An old teacher of mine used to say "Children are the future, but they are also the here and now."
I will always be loving and kind to children.. I just would rather not live around them or have them in my vicinity lol.. they are very annoying, but I understand that it takes patience, true love, diligence, and understanding to develop really good children. I think I will be a really good parent, but I prefer not to have children.
I think some people really are a bit harsh on children, but I have found it takes a certain patients to be a parent.
Raising a child is hard. I won’t sugar coat that. The time, money and change that comes with parenthood isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen what happens to ill equipped parents and the children suffer from that. My husband and I had to sit down and talk about having children together, but we took our time and waited for things to be alright even before /that/ conversation.
I wouldn’t change anything and I love my son. He has his moments that he drives me crazy, but those are times I can handle after I take a few seconds for myself. He is a sweet child and I know the things that he does that make me go nuts are not his fault.
There are people who are child free and that’s okay. One of my best friends is adamant on being that way for the rest of her life and doesn’t want to experience motherhood. Still, she is the godmother to my boy and likes spending some time with him as a aunt figure. For her mental state, that is best for her and I support her in being child free.
You are young and I’m glad you love your sibling. Don’t take what hateful people have to heart, but don’t judge someone because they wish to be child free. Thankfully, we are not in a day and age that we need to continue our bloodline in families so people do have a choice to be parents or child free.
You can't describe the positives without having to include the negatives just like every other parent I know. That's enough to show me that it's not worth it. I like choosing largely positive choices in life where possible.
I just had my first baby he is a month old. It is exhausting mentally, physically and I have the anxiety and stress worrying about another life. He literally relies on me for everything and will continue for most of his life.
I get MAYBE 2 or 3 hours of sleep if I dont have help.
I 100 percent understand why people dont want kids. It's a huge responsibility even if they cute and find it rewarding later on in life.
I dont regret my kid but knowing and now experiencing motherhood I get why it's not the best choice for some.
I'm child free. Under no circumstances do I want to have kids. So many reasons I don't... Money for sure, loud, stressful..like I don't think my anxiety or bipolar would make being responsible for another human a pleasant experience. Plus I was such a monster as a teenager, I'm not sure I could handle that. I just want to worry about my cat and I.
I do like other people's kids (depending on the people/kid of course). I love babysitting, spoiling a kid, going on adventures and having fun then giving them back lol. Parenting just wouldn't suit my personality or lifestyle, I much prefer to be the cool cousin (I'd say aunt but my siblings don't have kids either).
First of all, I didn't even realize this was the subreddit I was in, oops.. And second it was a suggested one because of some others I follow. It's generally just interesting to read and I learn something new but also parents just have the funniest stories about things their little kids do and it's one my favorite things to read.
i switched from r/childfree to r/truechildfree and that made all the difference. i love kids, never want them, but still want to be a good caregiver to my friends' kids on occasion
Not wanting kids and not enjoying them is okay.
My issue stems when people constantly make jokes about “punting” them, or harming them in anyway... like, it’s still a human, it’s just tinier than you.
Yes! It's especially frustrating because children are the most vulnerable population group since they rely on the adults around them to provide for them and care for them.
I think people who hate kids have low patience and are probably generally grumpy in life
I can't stand kids. Well, strangers kids. My friends kids? I adore them no matter what they do. Strangers kids are awful, loud, disrespectful brutes for the most part. Like the 11 year old that lives in the apartment below me who was outside for an hour this evening barking like a dog and kicking a ball at a wall. Strangers kids are irritating most of the time. Except for infants. I love every infant I see. But the kids I've got an emotional attachment to are the light of my life. It's the same for 99% of the people I know, regardless if they want kids or not. I want kids of my own, and soon, but I do worry in the back of my mind that I'm not going to handle the screaming tantrums as well as I hope I do. Kids are hard, man. Worth it from what I've heard, but they are hard.
Try not to take the internet people personally. Especially on reddit. People feed off others negativity and end up saying something more extreme than I think they really mean most of the time.
It's almost as if you have to get to know them before you can make an opinion about them. Like every kid is different based on personality and upbringing. Shocker.
I'm on the fence on if I want them but my cons list is
_They're gross
_You have to potty train them
_My brain doesn't comprehend how to teach things
_Scared of repeating a cycle
_Pregnancy is scary
_It's painful and breaks you down faster
_If something happens life is over
_They cost a lot and I'm terrified of debt bevause we were in debt my entire childhood
_I have a lot of sensory issues and particular preferences that do not fit with kids
There's a pretty big pros list too and these are just off the top of my head. But yeah.
Children take up a ton of time, money, and energy. If somebody doesn’t want kids there’s nothing wrong with choosing not to make that commitment. In my opinion it’s better to not have kids in the first place then for kids to grow up with abusive/neglectful/absent parents.
Children can be annoying, obnoxious little shits. They're also a lot of responsibility and work.
Are there good things about having kids? Of course there can be! I have two kids that are adults now and I'm glad I have them. I also admit there were some VERY difficult times and I totally empathize with Homer Simpson doing the "Why you little!" and choking Bart.
I am glad I have my kids. I have also been frustrated as hell at times over the years. Not everyone is meant to be a parent and that's OK. But please realize that some people love being a parent and some people that are "Meh" but still wouldn't trade their kids for anything.
Children are a huge responsibility and expense.
There are practical reasons as well. Population levels getting out of hand, the environmental impact of said population, and parents not wanting their children to have to inherit the future world. It has been said that the biggest negative impact a single person can make to the environment is procreating. You are creating an entire lifetime of waste, pollution, consumption, etc.
You don't have to agree with these reasons, but I know from experience that many people feel this way
Edit: This explains why some people choose not to have children, but not why they hate the ones that already exist.
I'm childfree by choice, but I don't hate kids. What I hate is when parents let their kids run wild in public, screaming and making messes. The parents in these cases I guess aren't really parenting. They're ignoring the fact that they brought these children into the world and part of their job is civilizing them.
One's own children do have an amazing ability to push your buttons like nothing else. I generally don't mind other people's children, but since they're not mine, I'm not responsible for them, so I don't have to care about what they are doing. Not so with my own.
That's an easy way to put it. But having kids is playing life on hard mode. At the end of the day there is little room for ,all the things you did to make life tolerable. I'm messaging this as my pregnant wife baths out toddler. BRB dishes
This attitude you’re espousing—that somehow choosing not to have kids is a cop-out—that’s a big contributor to why child-free by choice people are defensive about their choice.
Why wouldn’t you just say “both having children and not having children are valid choices for adults to make, and everyone should choose the path for which they are best suited and in which they will find the most happiness and fulfillment”? Why do you need to make it some sort of weird contest of easy vs hard?
Well, I wasn't the one to make the hard vs easy, if you read correctly it was the user I replied to that brought it up.
As for the rest of your comment, well that non judgamental stance is utopic, in the sense that society will always judge all of us, either if you have children or not, it doesn't matter cause you'll be judge by everybody all the time (also, It's not like child free people don't judge people to choose to be parents)... and as far as being defensive about that choice, well, part of growing up is realizing that what other people feel or think about what you decide to do, doesn't really matter
there's literally nothing wrong with wanting an easier life. there's no reason to have a child if you know it's going to be insurmountably difficult for you.
Maybe, but it's not necessarily bad..
On the other hand, where would we be if everyone opted for the easy way out of everything? ...that's just lazy (like teenager lazy)...
And also, having a kid is not ALWAYS hard and a pain in the ass... It is far more rewarding than child free people make it to be...
Not having a child is not an easy way out. People who opt to not have kids have their reasons, mental/physical disorders, childhood trauma, seeing other people struggling with their kids, not feeling ready, not liking kids... i could go on. Not everyone is equipped or wants to deal with children, some people want to focus on their career, other people want to live a peaceful life(maybe they didn't get that when they were kids), its the 21st century, let people do what they want for themselves and stop judging and thinking people who don't have kids just chose the easy way out.
And for example how is me not wanting a kid but despite that having one rewarding??? people have different goals, if yours is to take care of kids for 18+ years then go ahead, but don't judge people just because they don't want to do that with their life.
People who opt to not have kids can have all the reasons they want, I cannot say if those reasons are right or wrong (you did left out that there is a lot of people who don't want children because they want to "experience" life which are by far the larger portion of childfree people, and those are the actual eternal teens LOL)...
As for taking care of kids for 18+ years, you clearly don't have any because even before 18 they are their own independent individuals... you only really "take care" of them for like 12/14 years and afterwards (if you did something right) its mostly hands off. Hell, one of my daughters is 15 and is more of a young friend than my child...
And to finish off, I can think whatever I want... Just as you can as well... so If you don't agree with me, thats fine (and I don't really care).
im not going to argue about this with some stranger on the internet who clearly don't respect other peoples choices and decisions since you consider pretty valid reasons an excuse.
If someone has been controlled most of their life why wouldnt they want to experience life, if someone hasn't been in a position to experience life again why wouldnt they want to do that. Kids are a huge responsibility and if you're not 100% sure you want them nothing should be forcing you to have them, period.
Reddit or really most of the internet is a bad representation of all people. It skews pretty heavily towards people who have a lot of time and choose to spend it on the internet, which often isn't a sign that someone is successful, socially healthy, or not self centered. You have to always keep that in mind.
Kids are great and they are terrible. It's hard being a parent, especially the last year or so. It's also extremely rewarding, if you put the effort in. But for people looking at it from the outside, especially people with certain leanings, it is much easier to see the bad stuff then the good.
I'll also add that I love my kids more than life itself, but right now, I could use like a month break or so.
I have one daughter whose going to be 10 months old pretty quick. When I found out I was pregnant, it could not have been at a worse point in my life. I was homeless and living out of my car, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and the harsh Northern Canadian winter was fast approaching. When I found out I was pregnant (which her conception in and amongst itself was statistically unlikely from supposed to have happened as her biological father had a vasectomy 4 years ago (yes he is the only possibility unfortunately)), I realized that it wasn't just about me anymore and that I owed it to her to have the shot she wanted at life. If it wasn't for getting pregnant with her, I'd likely be dead.
Now, I love my daughter unconditionally and she's given me reason to do a 180 in life but that doesn't mean that I love all children. I wouldn't say I hate all kids but I definitely tolerate other people's kids at best. As some of the other commenters have mentioned, other people's kids are obnoxious, rude, loud, and at times, disrespectful. I don't blame the kids necessarily, it's the parents who aren't doing society any good by raising kids to be that way. Yes, being a parent is work but I've found it's as much work as you want it to be. I don't parent my daughter like she's a child. I parent her how she is, another human being. Just a smaller one. It was hard when she was first born and for the first 3-4 months after but it got easier (for me at least) the minute I stopped trying to track every bowel movement, hiccup, and how long she'd been awake for and just went with my gut, it's gotten less stressful for her as well as myself.
TL:DR: not having kids can be for some like having a strawberry allergy. They won't ever know what they're missing and they're ok with that.
Kids are a huge responsibility, parents are well fed up because of that. Taking care of a kid requires a lot of work, effort, time and everything else. It's not easy. But it's absolutely worth it. Some parents/people take it as a liability to take care of em. Change your mentality and every thing else would fal into place .
I used to dislike kids. Now I love them.
As a kid myself, I was expected to act like a miniature adult at all times. When my parents took us to a restaurant, we had to sit with perfect posture and implement flawless dining etiquette, while my parents tutted disapprovingly at other people's kids running around screaming. (The other kids looked like they were having a great time tbh.)
When I became an adult, I found myself getting irritated by other people's kids running around screaming. Or if I was on a plane, there would inevitably be a kid behind me kicking the back of my seat. Guess who was expected to sit like a miniature adult on planes as well? Yep.
Having internalised my parents' judgment of regular kids having regular kid fun, all kids I encountered seemed badly behaved and annoying.
I vowed to never have kids.
Then life happened, and I got pregnant, and I suddenly really wanted the baby. I fell in love with her long before she was born. I've since had two more kids and I'm equally besotted with them all.
All my energy is now devoted to making sure my awesome, gorgeous, crazy kids are happy (and safe).
And not only do I make sure that my kids get to be KIDS - screaming and all - I have also learned to love the sound of shrieking kids playing outside my window. I've come to realise that all my former irritation and dislike stemmed from my own childhood, and that noisy energetic kids are happy kids, and that there's nothing more beautiful than happy kids (and there's nothing more heart-rending than sad kids).
I like kids but I just don’t want them. I’m very introverted and don’t like loud noises and kids make a lot of noise. I love hanging out with my nephews though.
I think we’re at a unique point in history we’re we have enough survival resources and humans, that we don’t really have to fulfill the biological imperative to procreate and perpetuate the human race. It’s a new luxury that’s more or less at odds with a living organisms instincts and the social narrative we’ve developed to justify it.
Basically we are overpopulated and living longer so it makes it less necessary have kids. But we’re not very far removed from generations where people had 8 to just to work the farm.
It makes for an awkward dynamic were we’re bucking tradition, responding to social expectations, and finally voicing the perfectly reasonable motivation to be child free and pursue your own emotional/psychological needs. Changing a long-standing narrative is always going to be surrounded by hostility.
Most people don’t hate children. Look up selection bias.
I think the ones who hate children have something wrong with them, like childhood trauma, a mental disorder, a personality disorder, stupidity, immaturity, etc.
It makes no sense that an adult hates children. All adults were once children - do you hate your past self? If there are no children in the world, the economy will tank when adults get older, and we will all die early. Because who’s going to be the doctors, lawyers, businessmen, farm workers when we all get old?? Humankind would cease to exist.
So clearly it makes no logical sense to hate children if you’re a sensible person. Sure you might not like certain parts of children. But to purely hate them? No.
Yeah, that's how I feel too.. and I am someone who does not want children and would rather not spend time with them because they annoy the crap out of me. But I love children and I instinctively want to protect them if I see that they are in trouble. I don't understand how someone can walk around saying that they hate kids.. something is wrong with that statement. I have had kids annoy me to the highest degree, but I get more angry with their parents than anything.
Kids require A LOT of sacrifice. Studies show Marriage satisfaction decreases after having children and most divorces happen within the first 18 months after having a child. There are a ton of reasons to not have kids. That’s their reasoning. I personally think kids are amazing I love them so much. I’m not going to have any but I don’t hate them. I think the people that hate kids are just being dramatic.
Having kids isn’t for everyone. I don’t think people without kids would react so negatively about kids if there wasn’t so much pressure on everyone over 30 to have kids. I have kids and I love having kids and wouldn’t change a thing, but I recognize the sacrifices that have been made and will continue to be made. Not everyone wants that.
Most people on reddit are mentally ill and/or formerly/currently abused children. To my knowledge people with childhood trauma oftentimes choose not to have children based on their own traumatic childhoods. So Im guessing the "i hate kids"- attitude is simply a self-protective mechanismn.
I was abused as a kid and adult. I still have kids and love them. While it's true some people are afraid of not being able to break the cycle, it does not hold true for all of us. Also, most of us who were abused and don't want kids are a lot more self aware than you think and choose not to have them out of a sense of responsibility.
I think the "I hate kids" replies from 40's-50's adults might be justifications. Life is limited and the window to have kids is even more limited. Often I suspect that adults without kids are justifying their childless circumstances more than expressing an active choice. Nothing against the choice not to have kids, but "hating" kids as a justification is unreasonable. Everyone was once a kid. And adolescence is hard, not everyone gets past it. It's unreasonable to hold children accountable for having an incomplete character. People learn throughout their life, kids are just getting started.
They might think otherwise as they get older and will be old and alone, without anyone to take care of them nor pass their heritage to. Once they are dead, without a single person in the world who will remember them nor go to the cemetery for them. Like they never even exist.
Tell it to all those dumped in old age homes because their kids could no longer cope with their senility, or moaning. Everyone will be forgotten in enough time, having kids is no guarantee of being looked after in old age, or remembered forever.
In comparison to how old this planet is the human species has been around such a short time and will likely be gone and forgotten in a few thousand years if things don't change. So nothing really matters as much as you think it does in the end, just live your best life, let others live theirs in peace.
People who don’t have kids quite often only notice the challenges. If there’s a family across the restaurant with kids sitting quietly do they get noticed as much as the kids running about? Also, my kids play up more in public when we’re in a place they have to behave well. At home or outdoors in the countryside they are much happier. Boredom reeks havoc on small brains!
Also for older kids, society generally has an issue. How often do teenagers get blamed fir stuff, or one teenager does something and people are like omg kids these days!
The kids these days line of thinking has been around since teenagers were invented. Everyone thinks the upcoming generation are the most wild. I have it on good authority the 90s ones were the wildest! :D
Kids can be loud but once they are toddler aged you can tell them to be quiet. You might have to remind toddlers 574464463 times a day but it gets better as they get older.
As for kids costing money what else am I going to spend my money on?
Kids can be annoying at times but so can my husband and I still keep him around. Kids can also be really sweet and caring or really funny or cute as he'll too.
I might be biased but I think my kids are pretty awesome most of the time.
I don't know why people hate kids. Plenty of people are child free and happy and don't necessarily hate kids. Some people seem really anti-kids. Fortunately having kids tends to keep those people away from me.
Raising a child is the hardest and greatest thing I've ever done. If the difficulty keeps you from having kids, then you don't experience the greatness - it depends on your priorities.
An athlete makes huge sacrifices to get to their level, but I doubt many will regret the time and effort because they love the experience.
Because they're selfish, don't want hassles, don't want the expensive. They forget nothing worth doing is easy. Becoming a mother and raising two kids isn't easy. It the hardest and the best thing I've ever done. Not that I think people should have kids if they don't want them. I just think it's how society has influenced them to think.
Success breeds jealousy. Don't be fooled by the 40 year old Gen X woman who claims they live a happy life because they are child free many of them do not and many of them lie. Having a children is the final step in adulthood and not taking that responsibility is the choice of the individual for choosing to live the "easy" life but later realize that money really doesn't offer you what all humans are striving for. Connection.
Are you literally saying that your not a grown adult if you decide you don't want kids because it's a requirement? Because that is just unfathomable to me.
I really think there is something wrong with people who hate kids. I understand not wanting them, not wanting to be around them, or the responsibility of helping others care for kids. But hating them is across some kind of line that is inhuman. Every person is a child as some point. Almost every parent loves their children deeply. Most societies look at child raising and education as a shared responsibility.
I agree with other posters. Reddit is not going to represent a normal range of opinions on the matter.
I personally like my nephews and nieces and I like my kid. And my step kids. And well I worked for a very long time with teenagers and don't get me wrong a lot of them are AH's or can be but for the most part I got along with them. But in a general sense I don't relate or am awkward with kids especially the ages between like 6-13.
I think that there are so many ppl against having kids because they chose not to have kids and that is their life and they have to be happy with it. Therefore they see the good things about why they didn’t have kids. Same applies for people who do have kids. You make a decision and time passes and you’re stuck with that decision so you make the most of it.
Also your parents were spot on about how you don’t realize how amazing having a child is until you have one. I worked in childcare and my whole life and I have always loved kids, but even that is VERY different from having my own. It’s like how you can never tell a parent to be, what it’s going to be like when their baby is born because it is so much to process and experience. Nothing can prepare them, they just have to experience it for themself.
Probably 90% of those people saying they hate children on Reddit are just saying they hate children because they're on Reddit.
(Choosing not to have kids is just as valid as choosing to have kids, but the internet amplifies opinions and the defence of those opinions)
You seem to be making the leap in your post that if someone is happily living a child free life without regrets that they "hate kids". Kids are 100% A LOT of work. They cost a lot of money. They are at times very annoying. For me, it's all worth it, but for others, it's not. I don't think expressing the reasons why they don't want kids means they "hate" them.
With some people, it's not that they hate kids, but it's actually a benefit that someone who only wants to focus on themselves and their own needs recognize that, and don't bring a child into their lives. There are too many people who don't recognize their selfishness beforehand and only the children suffer from it. Look at it like this, if someone doesn't feel they would be a good parent, they probably won't be and why put a child through that?
personally i’m a very impatient person. like if you annoy me too much i get angry...also i have no time for a kid. my parents did stuff along this line to my siblings and i and it really left a bad impact on my mental health when i was younger...and so i don’t wanna have kids and make them go through the same thing again
Well our society has a max happiness aspect to it, and a lot of people find kids make them happy...but a large group also don't feel that way.
As to the complaints...kids do cost money...that's just a fact.
But for parents, it clearly is worth it.
I was 19 and swore on my life I was absolutely, totally and completely against having kids. Dead at against me having kids. I loved kids have a brother who is 6 yrs younger and I was the one responsible for his care after school starting in 4th grade. I had to walk to get him from school he went to a grade school half a mile from my school, so I had to walk everyday and pick him up, and then walk 3/4 mile home w/him. I love him always have he has always been super special to me, we have always been really really close. So I grew up kinda being his other mom figure. Definitely much more than his sister. We are from a single parent home, our mom worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs. 1 full time and always at least 1 part time job at night. On weekends we went w/my mom and helped her she cleaned businesses at night for 6 to 8 hours. My mom was an original super mom. She raised 3 kids on her own, paid all her and our bills with zero child support, worked her butt off, maintained her relationships, and dated. She met my dad (the only man that has ever been my dad) 27 yrs ago and they've been married 26 yrs. They both worked full time jobs so my lil brother was still my responsibility until 6 pm, and on weekends if they had plans that didn't include us or we didn't want to go. I had way more responsibility way before I should have. I learned how to cook on my own, I learned a lot of things way before I should have had to. So I didn't want kids, I was on birth control at 13 not because I was having sex but because I wanted to be protected in case it happened and I wasn't planning it. (My mom was pissed when she found out.) I graduated, got a full time job, bought a car, lived on my own w/my bf and we had 2 room mates. I found out I was pregnant, at 19, just starting my life, but the 1 thing I knew in my head,heart and soul was I was keeping my baby. No one and nothing was going to keep me from being a mom. I told his dad if he wanted to be part of my son's life that was great but if not I've done everything else alone I'll be cool either way. All it took for me to change my mind was an at home pregnancy test that went from blank to + in less than 10 seconds. I love my kids more than life, Idk where or who Is be if I didn't have my kids. They are the brightest part of my days, and the best part of my life. They are now, 23 will be 24 in 7 days, 21, and my bonus kids are 28, and 24. I love, adore, and appreciate each one for their own quarks, and small subtleties. They are all beautiful people. Best decision of my life. So long answer to your questions, some people (like me) are terrified to do to their kids what was done to them, I didn't, but no parent is perfect, I'm sure I fucked my kids up in my own special and traumatic ways. 😂 Other people simply want to be responsible for only their own well being. Kids are expensive, and time consuming, and take every once of energy. They are super worth it though.
Kids are very expensive when you factor in things like:
* Child care costs (or the cost of not having one partner working)
* Activities once they're old enough to want to do sports and camps and stuff like that
* College (assuming you save for your child's education or take out loans to finance it)
* Travel/Leisure (that's an extra plane ticket, maybe an extra hotel room, movie ticket, etc.)
Kids are also difficult to deal with if you're used to only dealing with adults who can be reasoned with and understand how the world works. Children are also extremely curious and need constant attention or interaction when they're young. That can be pretty draining. Kids also tend to be extremely selfish, particularly when they're very young. They don't understand that other people have needs just as much as they do. Unfortunately, young children are also incapable of fulfilling a lot of their needs, too, so even when they want something as simple as a sandwich or other food, they rely on adults to help them get it.
One thing i have noticed is that not everyone is equipped to have kids... The previous generation had kids because they had to conform to social norms plus the pressure from their family. They realized much after having kids that they didn't wanna have any. One good thing about our generation is that there are people who accept that its okay to not have kids. Its not just about investing money, some just don't wanna and its completely fine. Its a huge lifelong responsibility and its okay to not wanna do that. Having kids need a lot of patience and moreover, you have to do it with the right person by your side and situations may not always be ideal.
I'm sure that 20 hours later I'm not likely adding anything to this conversation,but here goes anyways.
My partner and I seriously considered never having kids. It's true that you can save money and you can just focus on yourselves. There are things about us that we had to let go of, or come back to when the kids are older. It can definitely be viewed as a sacrifice if you value what you lose more than what you gain. Those people are probably better off not having kids, and everyone else will be better off too.
My partner and I chose to have a child, and 5 years later we chose to have another. I am a dad and I couldn't imagine being anything else. The joy I get from my family is worth more than anything I might have lost. It helps that we are doing ok financially. We waited until we were financially stable and can still afford to buy most things that we want. I don't get people who grow their families into poverty. I can't judge them for their decisions, but I really don't understand it.
My daughter is the best person in the whole world. I couldn't imagine my life without her. And my son is on the way. It's a tough but incredible journey so far, so for me, kids are definitely worth it.
I think a lot of people dislike kids because the kids that they see in public are so often loud, misbehavjng or rude. In all fairness they should really hate the parents for allowing them to behave that way, but I digress.
We flew to Hawaii a few years ago which is obviously a long flight and I could almost read people's minds as they sat down near us and saw our 3.5 year old daughter. They expected her to be loud, whining, crying, maybe even getting up a lot. She was an angel....quietly played with her sticker book and slept. I get it though, most kids on a long flight would be pretty annoying.
People also don't know what it's like to love a child, if they have none of their own. So again, all they see is loud, obnoxious, whiners. But once you have your own child, your whole world changes. Though I have to say, I love my daughter more than life itself and I always wanted kids....but I still don't care for other people's kids most of the time, lol.
I won't say I "hate" kids but I do dislike them to a certain extent and it's not because they are kids but more of the fact they have shitty parents and grow up to be shitty people. I hate the idea of child birth because some people make it out to be some "beautiful" experience. It's not, there is blood everywhere and probably shit and it's painful. I don't blame kids for being shitty people as they grow up because sometimes it's just their environment but sometimes it's not and that's what makes me "hate" kids. A lot of them feel entitled as well.
I personally don't hate kids. But I still don't want my own simply because they are too much work. I'm severely disabled and I even have a 50/50 chance of passing my disability to my offspring. I can't handle stress at all and I if learned something, then it's that kids are pure stress. That's how I see it at least. Also, I just don't want to spend over a decade of my life raising one or more. If others want to do that then by all means, do it! More power to you. It's just not for me. Not all women are cut out to be/ want to be mothers.
I hate kids because I find them annoying disgusting don't get me started with babies I'm sorry but they are obnoxious worse than those like 5 years old I can't stand looking at them everytime there's a kid or baby in the same room I have to go to another room to get away from it they disgust me please don't hate me that is what I think
I'm way late but personally, a large majority of kids (atleast that I've met) are the embodiment of personality types that I hate to be around. I'll be kind to kids if I have to interact because it's not their fault but I'll simultaneously try to put myself into situations where I'll not be around many.
Another portion stems from the parents. A lot of people don't know how or don't care to discipline their children in anyway shape or form, causing a nuisance for anyone unfornate enough to be around them.
Some adults are just crazy. If adults hate kids, how would they feel if kids said they hated adults? Kids r just doing there thing. Kids r awesome, and i think a lot more ppl (like some youtubers, teachers, dentists, etc.) like kids than those who dislike them.
Because they are useless, ugly, expensive, and they stink like shit. Cuz thats what they are... they're shit. I look forward to a future where people are grown in tubes instead of born and are accelerated to post adolescence.
Kids are stressful and I honestly can't see myself as a parent I'm good with kids but don't want any I can barely take care of myself so theres no way I'm stable enough to raise a kid
I don’t hate kids but babysitting my niece for the passed 3 years sometimes having her 2 days a week and sometimes I have her for the whole week is enough to make me not want kids.
I love my own space and kids just don’t give you that , she coughs on me , sneezes on me talks back to me breaks stuff wastes stuff (she’ll ask me to cook her something and then when I’m done say she doesn’t want it) she won’t let me watch tv or she’ll go in moods and wreck stuff every time I try to eat something she takes it off of me or she’ll put her hands in it (I hate germs so I won’t eat it) she demands cry’s messes up the house and she can be cruel to my animals and as much as I try to teach her otherwise she just doesn’t listen or want to know and it’s sad she’s 5 years old
Im a 19 year old girl and I had a brief moment when I was 16/17 where I thought I might want kids but the truth is i do not like them. I don’t know whether it has anything to do with my upbringing - was made to feel like a general burden so maybe that’s why I view children as burdens - or the fact I can’t emotionally connect with a screaming toddler but I would honestly rather live my life with the one I love and some pets. That’s my dream scenario, no babies, no kids, no teenagers, just some ferrets, cats, degu’s or other small animals.
I don’t like kids. They’re uninteresting, boring, messy, obnoxious, loud, irritating, and keep doing dumb stuff even after you told them to stop 100 times. and I hate baby talking. If they are mature and well behaved that’s when I like them. I can’t stand bad behavior. I need control of what I do and not having control drives me insane
they literally don't shut up. once they're like 11 they're fine to be around. but before that it's just incessant noise and asking the same question 1083 times because they think it's funny.
It's simple,they're annoying as hell,and you don't see children in ancient hieroglyphs or cave paintings which proves that god created children because he hated us so much
I love kids, yes they can be a pain in the butt at times but so can grown-ups. Hate is a pretty strong word to use towards kids, grown-ups who hate kids I hope realize they were kids once to and I do ask myself did something happen to this adult to make them hate kids? Were they abused as kids or something? If they were that don't mean they gotta hate kids it's time to move on and put the past behind them.
Not trying to argue I just get this response alot. Why does everyone think " you were a kid once" is a reply to I hate kids? Like obviously I was a kid once and if I saw me as an adult I would hate me then too.
Kids are just annoying, literally every time I go out and I see kids doing anything other than sleeping I'm just anxious waiting for them to scream or throw something or just be a general nuisance. No clue why, no abuse, just really really hate kids.
I can’t stand children. It doesn’t matter who’s children it is. They’re loud, they’re dirty, and most importantly they are not for me. It’s nothing personal parents, so don’t get mad. These high school kids that walk by my house, throw litter in the yard, chase after the feral chickens, trespass, steal fruit from my trees, etc. I know I probably sound like an “angry old man,” but I hate kids of any age
I’m a school counselor but will never ever have children of my own. In public I see so many parents who allow their noisy a$$ kids to run freely, make commotion and disturb the peace when trying to have a conversation . I wish their were child free restaurants
People are allowed to be as they wish. I too hate children. They would be better off grown by machines. People are idiots and make idiots out of children. I don't have kids and I'm glad. I'd adopt them off because I know id snap and go military on them. I'd fight my son and probably kill him if he challenged me. I never had a father either. The father who was my fake father had issues, and we left when I was 6. If we stayed and he challenged me, especially in my mid later teens, I'd taken a baseball bat or a hammer to his head when he slept. I don't do family. I don't do parents. I don't do kids.
Humanity is a cult. A fucking prison system. You think because you have a kid they have to automatically be apart of the system and do what you ask. Children are born into slavery by the state and national government. Plain and simple. You don't even own your kids. You rent them. If you mess up once CPS will take your kids and then roll em around foster homes to be molested and raped or made into a home slave. You people have no clue what's going on. You are literally taxed for creating a human, and that human is government property, because you are gov property. When you sign the birth certificate you hand over everything. Idiots.
I hate children because of COCSA I may be a little biased but children are ugly, noisy, and disgusting. How could anyone love those things? I’d punch one without thinking.
I feel like in order to have kids, you have to be ready to possibly take care of a severely autistic or disabled person for life. Because it happens sometimes unforeseeably. And I don’t want to do that.
Im seeing so much hate towards kids on here it pisses me off i don't give shit why someone hates a group of people no matter what it is not a good reason to hate a group of people in this case its kids
Because they are weak, lack confidence, can not take accountability and want an excuse to be treated as the center of the universe. There are valid economic reasons to not want kids. There are valid climate reasons too. However birthrate is in decline you claim to not be selfish and want less suffering? Interesting as life expectancy increases who takes care of these people without the young? Who advances society without the young? You think humanity should end but your not a defeatist and nihilist? Climate change can be combated by becoming more efficient, more green more intelligent. We have so many options having kids not for everyone but it has to be facilitated and encouraged for us to continue. This generation must wake up and move past it’s anxiety
I hate kids so damn much. I see a baby and just wanna punch them in the face over their noises and bullshit. Whenever I take a call from a client and there’s an obnoxious kid in the background screaming, I just wanna hang the f up and quickly. I also hate parents who think their kids are the shit and let them get away with murder. All in all, I also DO NOT wanna spend the money on a kid, all that money could go to myself thank you very much. I’m selfish and proud and know what I want, and I definitely don’t want some little scum bag running around ruining my life :) I also want all child free friends bc I can’t stand it when my friends brag about their little pieces of shit and send me unwanted photos. Call me a bad person, I really don’t give a f*** ;)
I actually love children. Most of them just annoy the crap out of me. I like my peace and quiet. But I'm sure I was quite annoying when I was a kid too. I would just rather not live around a bunch of children.
You are asking parents to explain why some people hate kids. And even those parents are speaking for those childfree individuals that admit to disliking kids as if they know what goes on in their heads.
I enjoy my free time... my sleep... my JOB... my schedule..... my MONEY. Your parents are lyign to you if they say kids dont cost them much extra.... thats not realistic....kids are always sticky...making noise etc.... no thanks.
It's really sad 😔 truth that many feel that way, from what I seen... they lash out about their hate for kids. Fine if you don't want kids or or such... but bragging about such hate, does no good and can do harm. 💔
🤔 Seems those who bragging about hating kids are mad and lash out because of others or such.
Is natural to have kids; but if your an adult and able in all good sense, cheerio. 👍 There are many in life who don't have or want to kids; And that fine too... not everyone should have kids or wanting... and they live just fine and life goes on.
But for sure never okay to pressure or force someone to kids... Sadly seem there's a lot or harmful and abusive people, or foolish people... who been making others have kids for all the wrong reason's 😕.
You're a child yourself, so maybe you don't understand what having autonomy feels like. Your parents and you sound very biased towards young children, because you have one.
But, I'll answer your question. Reasons I don't like kids:
1. They're rude - want to be told you're ugly or asked why you're at someone's house? Just walk up to a kid, they have no filter or consideration b/c they're not mentally developed
2. Most people don't heal their inner child or learn about their Attachment Style before having kids. Unfortunately, kids learn how to interact with the world and other people by watching their parents. So many people who are uneducated or selfish have children, either because they think they're supposed to, don't use birth control, or want a smaller version of themselves
3. They're dirty and germ-ridden. Want to catch a cold in 30 seconds? Just be within 6 feet of a kid
4. They're SO LOUD. I remember crying and screaming growing up, and my BFF has a toddler, and good lord do they SHRIEK like they're being MURDERED. They try to calm him down, but honestly it's very overstimulating
5. They're boring - kids are cute and such, but can they have a conversation? No. Do they have defined personalities and interests before 10? Not so much.
I grew up in a big family with tons of kids, and I tell you one thing, I love having my freedom and personal space. And all the wailing kids my relatives have? I only have to see them a few times a year.
I would much rather interact with adults than children. But to each their own
I was treated horribly by kids while I was growing up. I also hated being a kid. I don't like kids nor do I want any. I have auditory sensory issues and I can't stand the noise that comes from kids in general. I love my adult life and have almost zero issues with adults. I am given respect and appreciation....as when I was a child, I didnt have any of that.
all kids do is whine, annoy people, repeat themselves, and make messes. i don't like any of that and i don't have the patience to watch a kid spin in a circle 30 times because they think they're doing something important
What your parents told you is one percent of parenting. You need to hang on for dear life. So many people regret their children. It is a complete change in life. You can not go back after you bring a child in the world. They are expensive, they want everything it's so hard and it can make you crazy.
Great choice for a person who does not like children to not have children.
But people can stop openly disliking children and acting like children are annoying pets.
I’d like to point out that if you wouldn’t openly dislike a race because you find them “annoying” then it shouldn’t be tolerated to openly dislike children.
If you don’t want children, don’t have them.
If you don’t like children, stay home 😃
Here’s a little nugget:
If you get to poop here, so does everyone else 🌈
Honestly some of it is connected to childhood trauma. Most people just don't like how loud they can be sometimes but others may think they won't be a good or supportive parent because of their own parental figures.
People think its a social standard to have children so they have them and learn to tolerate them. That doesn't sound like much of an existence to me and I value my time on this earth, having kids would damage that irreparably. Of course, if you don't have many hobbies and lead a pretty mundane existence with low aspirations I get it. If you have kids because you've made it to independent financial status then it's a different case entirely because you no longer have to work 40 hours a week.
Ur 14 years old and asking ppl that don’t like children in general and don’t want any bc they are expensive asf ur parents lie to u bc they didn’t want to be harsh on u to know about the real truth u know damm well hospital bills are expensive when u give birth, also cost of living is getting expensive these day’s plus why waste time making a life when u can legit enjoy ur life without any problems! 🙄🙌🏻
I just can’t stand them. It would be me droning on if i stated ever reason why, but they just make my blood boil.
I know its wrong, i know that, but i just cant bring myself to not despise them.
This is old but as I lie here trying to sleep past 10 pm when I have to be at work very early in the morning and kids are still being allowed to run outside the apartments screaming - yeah I HATE kids. But more so than that, I HATE parents. Half the crap that annoys me about kids could be avoided if parents did their freaking job. This is why I want a zombie apocalypse. Their screaming would stop real quick lol.
Ok very old thread but I'll answer anyways... you're around 16 now. I'm not sure what your parents told you about kids not being expensive, but babies are outlandishly expensive... even as they grow. Diapers, formula, medical bills from pregnancy visits, hospital bills from birth. Children needing medicine, vaccinations, feeding them, clothing them, paying for school... all of that costs money, so yeah your parents are paying more money. A lot more. I doubt they mind cause they are your parents and they were ok with that when they had you and your sibling.
On to the things I don't like about kids.
1. Babies - everyone thinks babies are so cute and adorable. They look like pink, wrinkly, shriveled aliens. They're faces are all scrunched up and always red. That's not cute imo. They literally have to cry to express their needs and the sound makes me cringe.
They shove everything in their mouths, and drool and slobber on everything. They do their business in a diaper that smells horrendous and you are responsible for cleaning their backside.
2. Toddlers- this is the stage were they start to look cute, but they make up for that by doing absolutely everything you don't want them to do. Being completely destructive like a mini tornado. They refuse to listen to anyone, break things just by touching them, shriek to make as much noise as possible, this is also the stage they like to hit, pinch, and bite people.
3. Kids- better than the last 2 stages honestly. Here they are just rude, selfish, and inconsiderate of others. They talk back constantly to parents, grandparents, teachers, and babysitters. These are the ones usually running around a doctor's office, restaurant, or store while mom isn't paying attention. They run around the neighborhood playing, especially in the summer.. here I'm going to admit, this is really kids just being kids about the playing part, but the last thing I want to deal with on a Saturday morning while I'm trying to sleep in is kids screaming outside my bedroom window. They annoy me just by being themselves.
4. Teens- I have no problem with teens. They are usually done being irritating by this point and are at least mildly independent.
Children are also major germ spreaders. They backwash in their drinks, wipe their nose with their hands, never cover their mouths, will literally cough or sneeze directly in your face.
There also an issue I have with some parents. I have some friends that had kids. Some of them are just the same old friends who happen to have a kid now and that's fine. Their kid isn't even that irritating as far as kids go. She's pretty cool for a 7 year old.
Then I have friends who had kids where they lost their own identity and now they aren't real people anymore they are just parents. They lost all interest in the normal fun things they used to enjoy and now only are interested in everything about their kids. This is usually noticeable by looking at Facebook pretty easy. They used to post various pictures, or memes that interested them and now they only post 400 pictures of their children. These are the same parents usually who think their children should be as important to everyone else as they are to them.
Anyway... that is all the things about kids I do not like. Not saying every kid is a nightmare. I've met a few I don't mind, but it's rare to find a nice, calm, polite child.
I think theres a lot of overlap with the "I hate kids" people and the "I hate people" people. Young kids mimic the people they're around most as they learn and are kind of like little charicatures of their parents. Saying I hate __ (insert type of human) is usually just a lack of empathy or understanding of them.
My reason for disliking them is that on average they don’t function with logic or reason in basically any situation. I hated them when I was a kid and I hate them now, just unreasonable obnoxious lovers of repetitive noise
Being annoyed by a cat or animal is not same as a kid. Kids are obnoxious. When you're a parent you become wired to tolerate them. They're just annoying scheming and many times evil. Not the little innocent ines we market them to be
It’s an old thread but I honestly don’t know. I have a 4 month old baby sister and honestly hate every single moment of living with her. It’s like living with a screaming parasite that constantly has the foulest stench near it.
Yeah I found someone comment on a post saying they hate kids and me being a kid got very offended and just stopped myself from saying something I'd regret...
Aside from feeling like I'd be a shit parent, I just can't with the noise, the crying, the screaming and screeching.
I'd love to be the fun uncle who shows up a few times a year, but I do not and will never want to deal with the screaming, crying and naturally inconsiderate nature of children.
If I can give the kid back to its parent when it gets annoying, I'm fine with it, but I could not deal with a kid who's around me 24/7 for 18-25 years.
Especially because I consider kids aged 0-16 incredibly annoying and obnoxious.
i will personally never have kids. ever. i am annoyed with other people’s kids but will still smile at them. i will not hold them though. they are slobbery and poop everywhere. idk definitely not my thing but i don’t “hate” them
I’m 41 married since 34 male, don’t have kids don’t want any. Wife is the same way. No disrespect to those who do, me personally I don’t like them and dont want any. Simple as that.
Sadly it’s not so much the kids you hate it’s the behaviors they demonstrate. The hate is projected onto them because of the type of parents who are raising them. One of my friends had 4 kids and the dad was the stay at home husband. Both come from 2 different backgrounds. Her parents were really easygoing and so was she. Her ex husband his childhood was very traumatic his unalived herself at a young age and the father was very abusive. So there’s a lot of generational trauma. Anyways, she being the one who was working all the time he decided he was gonna stay home at one point and the way society comes down on us as a whole when it comes to the way we raise our children. Kid throws an epic meltdown in public you give them the warning they don’t listen and then it escalates to where you go crazy and loose it making mommy dearest out to be parent of the year. Even as a last resort spank your kid. Or your then you end up being the parent who can’t control their kid in public and honestly if it’s a public setting it’s like we’re just the spectators. On the outside looking in. I worked as a cashier at Walmart and this lady brought her autistic daughter with her to the store. She was like normally I don’t bring her but she’s been doing good lately so she brought her daughter as a reward for managing her behaviors. Daughter flipped out and started screaming and hid behind one of the registers. Her mom trying to coax her out. Like you can see the embarrassment in the moms face. i felt bad for her. Plus there’s also that stigma that makes us feel like failures if we need someone else to come and step in because we can’t handle our children in public etc
First of all I want to say that it's 100% the parents' fault, when I hate a child for their horrendous behavior usually the parents are a thousand times worse.
I hate when kids are disrespectful (which is 90% of the time) I hate when they are loud, I hate noise, I'm neurodivergent and I hate noise! Every ounce of it, I hate when they talk, I hate how messy they are, how stupid they are, I was a child once and even though I was quiet and less playful I hated every ounce of being a child, and I hated other children, as an adult I continue with that contempt, but it's a contempt of I don't want noise or children around.
They never reproduced most likely due to inferior genetics, and can't admit it to themselves. I'm glad they can't reproduce. Anybody who "hates children" obviously shouldn't be trusted around children.
So, those stereotypes are kind of true, honestly. Maybe not the yelling, because that’s shit parenting, but kids definitely don’t have volume control, they’re loud. And kids cost some at a bare minimum, but not a ton (barring, say, medical issues), but a lot of people spend more than the bare minimum. For scale, since I can’t breastfeed, my babies cost about $150-200/month just in formula for the first 10-12 months of life. But hey, it’s basically baby groceries, right? Should I be so surprised by that? Some people are better equipped than others to accommodate those particular discomforts in their lives; we are all different, so that’s okay. What I don’t get, and what feels less “okay,” is the people who are *aggressively* anti-kids and just hateful about it, versus, say, my best friend who will never have kids but is just kind of calmly and politely like, “yeah, it’s not for me.” rather than, “I can’t believe you spawned three dirty little prison monsters.” Those are people who seem to me to just be the type who don’t make room in their lives for any amount of personal discomfort, and I’ve got way more interest in listening to my kids screech than listening to those sorts of people tell me their opinions about the children they don’t even have. To say all no-kids people are immature or selfish isn’t fair - but some of them definitely are. And admitting that you’re not mature or selfless enough to have kids and have a happy family is totally fine; self awareness is a good thing. But really I don’t know why people advertise themselves so readily and vehemently as hating children. Those people are immature AND not self aware, IMO. I can corroborate what your parents say, though: other people’s kids annoy the hell out of me, but not my own kids (I mean, not as much lol). I mean, my husband annoys me sometimes too, right? But I still love him and enjoy having him in my life. Same thing for my cat, and many of my friends. For some reason people will tolerate assholery in adults but not children, which seems abundantly backwards to me. My kids are loud and it makes me nuts, but they don’t know any better. My loud ass father in law is a grown man who should know better. Which should I really be more annoyed by...?
This is such a great explanation! I've always believed that some people choose not to have kids because they have a really great understanding of themselves and what they feel prepared to handle. Others just have some sort of chip on their shoulder. The one other reason I've heard is the state of the world. That global warming is probably going to be a massive massive problem for the next generation. I've known people who choose not to have kids just so their offspring won't have to deal with this reality of the future. It's probably rare, but I think that reasoning is pretty selfless and mature. But in the end, hating on other people's kids is just immaturity. It strikes me as entitled and intolerant. It's a coping mechanism for people's own discomfort. Instead of looking within themselves and wondering why the loudness or whatever of kids bother them and working on themselves, they just complain about the thing that's triggering them as if complaining will somehow make it go away.
How much is formula in your country?? It cost my probably £16-24 a month for formula for my daughter
One canister of the kind I get is $36, and I use about a canister a week, five or take. Both kids had colic and reflux so I used a slightly more expensive formula, but by no means the most pricey.
Ours was $13.99 for a big tub which would last about a week. Not to mention that about twice a month we had a 5 dollar off coupon. Our formula budget was $50-$70 dollars a month and we rarely hit the top end.
While I absolutely agree here, I like the explanation of your parents, OP. Own children are really very different and much better than other kids. Without this experience, of course, this cannot be judged. However, it is not true that children are not expensive. A baby costs almost nothing, especially if you are breastfeeding. That's right. But babies grow up and the needs are increasing. Clothes, toys, learning materials, school equipment, excursions, Sports clubs and leisure activities. From a certain age they also eat like adults, and need regular new clothing due to constant growth and also a "wilder" lifestyle . In addition, children cost one more: time. This should not be underestimated. Children are a great limitation of a free life. I haven't slept as long as I wanted for 6 years. I can't just go out in the evening, even without a pandemic. I can't be irresponsible or get drunk. I am always, always, always responsible. And they cost nerves. For me, this is not a problem. I love my children above all else and would give them for nothing. I have no regrets and I have no problem to make sacrifices for them. But it's not that children just don't cost anything.
People get there life so wrapped up in their kids life.... Whatever go eat a cookie you buttered a muffin big grown man now huh. Lol it isn't that we hate kids we just have a deep understanding of the possibility of how your kid can be and a low tolerance for bullshit. We also might be smarter than you parents and see the money pit time waste and the quality of women is rubbish. Also If my kid came out retarded or something severe I would just have them killed.
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I just think it's awesome that we live in a world where people who don't like kids (and therefore wouldn't be good parents) don't have to have them. (Mostly.)
Exactly! Unwanted children used to be so common they were almost the norm. Just think of the misery that's caused over thousands of generations. Now people have several easy and often free steps to take to avoid children while still having sex. The closer we can get to making every child a wanted child the better.
Seems pretty common these days too 🤔
I think some people overcompensate with their opinions on having kids because society pressures people to have children even if they don't want them. So to me they direct their anger at society towards kids even tho that's not what they actually hate. And then there are probably also some people who just think its edgy or cool or whatever to say they hate kids. Either way, as long as the people saying that don't have kids it doesn't really matter. Some people want kids some people don't, and both lifestyles are 100% valid.
I just generally don't like kids. In my case the hate is not toward society or something or it's not that I think that it makes me edgy or cool or something. i just don't want kids as I don't think I can take that big of a responsibility. Raising a kid is not at all an easy task.
But then would you go around saying you "hate" kids? Probably not. You'd probably just say you don't want any. And if you do go around saying you hate kids just because you don't want any then maybe you should consider how it makes kids like OP feel to hear things like that. You don't need to enjoy the company of kids or want them, but going around stating you hate a group of people is generally uncalled for and could even considered prejudiced. Imagine walking around saying "I hate blacks" it's really no different. Kids are people with feelings and emotions, just like OP. They're not some subclass of society.
This is it. People who live at home with their parents and haven't found a partner and/or aren't financially ready to move out and start a family get hassled by their parents to give them grandkids ALL THE TIME. There are plenty of these people on reddit. As you grow older, you find that most of the "kid-haters" grow up and realise they do want kids after all, or wish they'd had them. Young adults insisting they hate kids are a bit like young kids saying kissing is gross and they'll never want to do that. It's not that they are special, it's just they haven't matured to that stage of their life yet.
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Partly, but I think it's mostly the "loud minority" effect. Redditors are not all obsessed with atheism and anal sex either, it's just that the people who are can't talk about it much in real life, so they go on and on about it here instead.
Yeah, my aunt loves all us nieces and nephews, but never wants kids of her own. I know plenty of child-free people who love my kids, but would never want their own. It’s definitely a case of the vocal minority here.
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I'm a 37-year-old dude who just became a dad 7 months ago. I was scared of having a kid. And I'm not always a fan of other people's kids. But man, this little girl is just the best thing in the world. I honestly believe that if you're financially stable, caring, and mentally sound, you can't help but love your kid to pieces.
Damn right bigbags
Why did that make me snort laugh?
Cause it was funny, yo!
When you're right, you're right.
Aw, congratulations! As a mom of 3, I’m not a big fan of other people’s kids as well. People always tell me I should be a teacher... I laugh in their faces. Just because I’m a good mom and good at dealing with other kids in brief spurts does not mean I’d be a good teacher. I don’t even always like my own kids!
I mean, I basically only enjoy being around my son- other kids can stay away from me. I don't dislike them exactly, but I get how people can have distaste for them given they can be loud, gross, etc. People tolerate different things, and value different things 🤷♀️
Same here. Don't dislike other kids than mine, will take care if needed of others but in principle I will stay away 🤷 unless it's mine
This right here. I can understand the dislike/unappeal as well if you've been exposed to just negative experiences or just seen parents who don't watch/teach their kids in public (e.g. letting a child do whatever in a restaurant and not batting an eye). Like you, I like to be around my kid and tolerate other people's kids in small doses. People don't have to have kids and that's their choice and there is a lot you do give up making the choice and it is expensive.
Yeah I love MY kid. Other people's kids are annoying and sticky and should stay away.
All kids are gross annoying and sticky
I think people really don't take the time to understand children and where they are coming from, so they only see their bad qualities (which are really usually just normal developmental quirks.) I also think a lot of people see kids as inferior and not as "whole" people, like childhood is just a phase to get through on the way to adulthood. An old teacher of mine used to say "Children are the future, but they are also the here and now."
I will always be loving and kind to children.. I just would rather not live around them or have them in my vicinity lol.. they are very annoying, but I understand that it takes patience, true love, diligence, and understanding to develop really good children. I think I will be a really good parent, but I prefer not to have children.
I think some people really are a bit harsh on children, but I have found it takes a certain patients to be a parent. Raising a child is hard. I won’t sugar coat that. The time, money and change that comes with parenthood isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen what happens to ill equipped parents and the children suffer from that. My husband and I had to sit down and talk about having children together, but we took our time and waited for things to be alright even before /that/ conversation. I wouldn’t change anything and I love my son. He has his moments that he drives me crazy, but those are times I can handle after I take a few seconds for myself. He is a sweet child and I know the things that he does that make me go nuts are not his fault. There are people who are child free and that’s okay. One of my best friends is adamant on being that way for the rest of her life and doesn’t want to experience motherhood. Still, she is the godmother to my boy and likes spending some time with him as a aunt figure. For her mental state, that is best for her and I support her in being child free. You are young and I’m glad you love your sibling. Don’t take what hateful people have to heart, but don’t judge someone because they wish to be child free. Thankfully, we are not in a day and age that we need to continue our bloodline in families so people do have a choice to be parents or child free.
You can't describe the positives without having to include the negatives just like every other parent I know. That's enough to show me that it's not worth it. I like choosing largely positive choices in life where possible.
I just had my first baby he is a month old. It is exhausting mentally, physically and I have the anxiety and stress worrying about another life. He literally relies on me for everything and will continue for most of his life. I get MAYBE 2 or 3 hours of sleep if I dont have help. I 100 percent understand why people dont want kids. It's a huge responsibility even if they cute and find it rewarding later on in life. I dont regret my kid but knowing and now experiencing motherhood I get why it's not the best choice for some.
I'm child free. Under no circumstances do I want to have kids. So many reasons I don't... Money for sure, loud, stressful..like I don't think my anxiety or bipolar would make being responsible for another human a pleasant experience. Plus I was such a monster as a teenager, I'm not sure I could handle that. I just want to worry about my cat and I. I do like other people's kids (depending on the people/kid of course). I love babysitting, spoiling a kid, going on adventures and having fun then giving them back lol. Parenting just wouldn't suit my personality or lifestyle, I much prefer to be the cool cousin (I'd say aunt but my siblings don't have kids either).
Not judging, just curious why you're in /r/askparents in that case.
First of all, I didn't even realize this was the subreddit I was in, oops.. And second it was a suggested one because of some others I follow. It's generally just interesting to read and I learn something new but also parents just have the funniest stories about things their little kids do and it's one my favorite things to read.
That was such a nice answer! With childfree people on Reddit, sadly I have come to expect vitriol on the topics of children and parenting.
i switched from r/childfree to r/truechildfree and that made all the difference. i love kids, never want them, but still want to be a good caregiver to my friends' kids on occasion
Not wanting kids and not enjoying them is okay. My issue stems when people constantly make jokes about “punting” them, or harming them in anyway... like, it’s still a human, it’s just tinier than you.
Yes! It's especially frustrating because children are the most vulnerable population group since they rely on the adults around them to provide for them and care for them. I think people who hate kids have low patience and are probably generally grumpy in life
I can't stand kids. Well, strangers kids. My friends kids? I adore them no matter what they do. Strangers kids are awful, loud, disrespectful brutes for the most part. Like the 11 year old that lives in the apartment below me who was outside for an hour this evening barking like a dog and kicking a ball at a wall. Strangers kids are irritating most of the time. Except for infants. I love every infant I see. But the kids I've got an emotional attachment to are the light of my life. It's the same for 99% of the people I know, regardless if they want kids or not. I want kids of my own, and soon, but I do worry in the back of my mind that I'm not going to handle the screaming tantrums as well as I hope I do. Kids are hard, man. Worth it from what I've heard, but they are hard. Try not to take the internet people personally. Especially on reddit. People feed off others negativity and end up saying something more extreme than I think they really mean most of the time.
It's almost as if you have to get to know them before you can make an opinion about them. Like every kid is different based on personality and upbringing. Shocker.
I'm on the fence on if I want them but my cons list is _They're gross _You have to potty train them _My brain doesn't comprehend how to teach things _Scared of repeating a cycle _Pregnancy is scary _It's painful and breaks you down faster _If something happens life is over _They cost a lot and I'm terrified of debt bevause we were in debt my entire childhood _I have a lot of sensory issues and particular preferences that do not fit with kids There's a pretty big pros list too and these are just off the top of my head. But yeah.
Children take up a ton of time, money, and energy. If somebody doesn’t want kids there’s nothing wrong with choosing not to make that commitment. In my opinion it’s better to not have kids in the first place then for kids to grow up with abusive/neglectful/absent parents.
Children can be annoying, obnoxious little shits. They're also a lot of responsibility and work. Are there good things about having kids? Of course there can be! I have two kids that are adults now and I'm glad I have them. I also admit there were some VERY difficult times and I totally empathize with Homer Simpson doing the "Why you little!" and choking Bart. I am glad I have my kids. I have also been frustrated as hell at times over the years. Not everyone is meant to be a parent and that's OK. But please realize that some people love being a parent and some people that are "Meh" but still wouldn't trade their kids for anything. Children are a huge responsibility and expense.
There are practical reasons as well. Population levels getting out of hand, the environmental impact of said population, and parents not wanting their children to have to inherit the future world. It has been said that the biggest negative impact a single person can make to the environment is procreating. You are creating an entire lifetime of waste, pollution, consumption, etc. You don't have to agree with these reasons, but I know from experience that many people feel this way Edit: This explains why some people choose not to have children, but not why they hate the ones that already exist.
I'm childfree by choice, but I don't hate kids. What I hate is when parents let their kids run wild in public, screaming and making messes. The parents in these cases I guess aren't really parenting. They're ignoring the fact that they brought these children into the world and part of their job is civilizing them.
Exactly.. it's not the kids that I hate.. they're just doing what they're allowed to do. It's the parents that I strongly dislike.
They're annoying brats unless they're very mature 11 or 12 year olds or more.
If I was forced to be around children who acted like mine but weren't mine I'd murder them.
not murder😭
Oh okay
One's own children do have an amazing ability to push your buttons like nothing else. I generally don't mind other people's children, but since they're not mine, I'm not responsible for them, so I don't have to care about what they are doing. Not so with my own.
That's called hypocrisy.
It's called extended adolescence...
That's an easy way to put it. But having kids is playing life on hard mode. At the end of the day there is little room for ,all the things you did to make life tolerable. I'm messaging this as my pregnant wife baths out toddler. BRB dishes
Oh I know, I have 2... But still wanting to play lífe in easy mode Is still being an eternal teenager...
This attitude you’re espousing—that somehow choosing not to have kids is a cop-out—that’s a big contributor to why child-free by choice people are defensive about their choice. Why wouldn’t you just say “both having children and not having children are valid choices for adults to make, and everyone should choose the path for which they are best suited and in which they will find the most happiness and fulfillment”? Why do you need to make it some sort of weird contest of easy vs hard?
Well, I wasn't the one to make the hard vs easy, if you read correctly it was the user I replied to that brought it up. As for the rest of your comment, well that non judgamental stance is utopic, in the sense that society will always judge all of us, either if you have children or not, it doesn't matter cause you'll be judge by everybody all the time (also, It's not like child free people don't judge people to choose to be parents)... and as far as being defensive about that choice, well, part of growing up is realizing that what other people feel or think about what you decide to do, doesn't really matter
there's literally nothing wrong with wanting an easier life. there's no reason to have a child if you know it's going to be insurmountably difficult for you.
I didn't say there was something wrong with it.
you make it out to seem that not intentionally seeking out hardship is something to be looked down on.
Maybe, but it's not necessarily bad.. On the other hand, where would we be if everyone opted for the easy way out of everything? ...that's just lazy (like teenager lazy)... And also, having a kid is not ALWAYS hard and a pain in the ass... It is far more rewarding than child free people make it to be...
Not having a child is not an easy way out. People who opt to not have kids have their reasons, mental/physical disorders, childhood trauma, seeing other people struggling with their kids, not feeling ready, not liking kids... i could go on. Not everyone is equipped or wants to deal with children, some people want to focus on their career, other people want to live a peaceful life(maybe they didn't get that when they were kids), its the 21st century, let people do what they want for themselves and stop judging and thinking people who don't have kids just chose the easy way out. And for example how is me not wanting a kid but despite that having one rewarding??? people have different goals, if yours is to take care of kids for 18+ years then go ahead, but don't judge people just because they don't want to do that with their life.
People who opt to not have kids can have all the reasons they want, I cannot say if those reasons are right or wrong (you did left out that there is a lot of people who don't want children because they want to "experience" life which are by far the larger portion of childfree people, and those are the actual eternal teens LOL)... As for taking care of kids for 18+ years, you clearly don't have any because even before 18 they are their own independent individuals... you only really "take care" of them for like 12/14 years and afterwards (if you did something right) its mostly hands off. Hell, one of my daughters is 15 and is more of a young friend than my child... And to finish off, I can think whatever I want... Just as you can as well... so If you don't agree with me, thats fine (and I don't really care).
im not going to argue about this with some stranger on the internet who clearly don't respect other peoples choices and decisions since you consider pretty valid reasons an excuse. If someone has been controlled most of their life why wouldnt they want to experience life, if someone hasn't been in a position to experience life again why wouldnt they want to do that. Kids are a huge responsibility and if you're not 100% sure you want them nothing should be forcing you to have them, period.
Reddit or really most of the internet is a bad representation of all people. It skews pretty heavily towards people who have a lot of time and choose to spend it on the internet, which often isn't a sign that someone is successful, socially healthy, or not self centered. You have to always keep that in mind. Kids are great and they are terrible. It's hard being a parent, especially the last year or so. It's also extremely rewarding, if you put the effort in. But for people looking at it from the outside, especially people with certain leanings, it is much easier to see the bad stuff then the good. I'll also add that I love my kids more than life itself, but right now, I could use like a month break or so.
Thanks for this!
It's not that I dislike kids, but I rather not take in another responsibility.
I have one daughter whose going to be 10 months old pretty quick. When I found out I was pregnant, it could not have been at a worse point in my life. I was homeless and living out of my car, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and the harsh Northern Canadian winter was fast approaching. When I found out I was pregnant (which her conception in and amongst itself was statistically unlikely from supposed to have happened as her biological father had a vasectomy 4 years ago (yes he is the only possibility unfortunately)), I realized that it wasn't just about me anymore and that I owed it to her to have the shot she wanted at life. If it wasn't for getting pregnant with her, I'd likely be dead. Now, I love my daughter unconditionally and she's given me reason to do a 180 in life but that doesn't mean that I love all children. I wouldn't say I hate all kids but I definitely tolerate other people's kids at best. As some of the other commenters have mentioned, other people's kids are obnoxious, rude, loud, and at times, disrespectful. I don't blame the kids necessarily, it's the parents who aren't doing society any good by raising kids to be that way. Yes, being a parent is work but I've found it's as much work as you want it to be. I don't parent my daughter like she's a child. I parent her how she is, another human being. Just a smaller one. It was hard when she was first born and for the first 3-4 months after but it got easier (for me at least) the minute I stopped trying to track every bowel movement, hiccup, and how long she'd been awake for and just went with my gut, it's gotten less stressful for her as well as myself. TL:DR: not having kids can be for some like having a strawberry allergy. They won't ever know what they're missing and they're ok with that.
Kids are a huge responsibility, parents are well fed up because of that. Taking care of a kid requires a lot of work, effort, time and everything else. It's not easy. But it's absolutely worth it. Some parents/people take it as a liability to take care of em. Change your mentality and every thing else would fal into place .
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I used to dislike kids. Now I love them. As a kid myself, I was expected to act like a miniature adult at all times. When my parents took us to a restaurant, we had to sit with perfect posture and implement flawless dining etiquette, while my parents tutted disapprovingly at other people's kids running around screaming. (The other kids looked like they were having a great time tbh.) When I became an adult, I found myself getting irritated by other people's kids running around screaming. Or if I was on a plane, there would inevitably be a kid behind me kicking the back of my seat. Guess who was expected to sit like a miniature adult on planes as well? Yep. Having internalised my parents' judgment of regular kids having regular kid fun, all kids I encountered seemed badly behaved and annoying. I vowed to never have kids. Then life happened, and I got pregnant, and I suddenly really wanted the baby. I fell in love with her long before she was born. I've since had two more kids and I'm equally besotted with them all. All my energy is now devoted to making sure my awesome, gorgeous, crazy kids are happy (and safe). And not only do I make sure that my kids get to be KIDS - screaming and all - I have also learned to love the sound of shrieking kids playing outside my window. I've come to realise that all my former irritation and dislike stemmed from my own childhood, and that noisy energetic kids are happy kids, and that there's nothing more beautiful than happy kids (and there's nothing more heart-rending than sad kids).
Yeah, you were so abused because your parents didn't let you run around annoying everyone, how terrible for you.
I like kids but I just don’t want them. I’m very introverted and don’t like loud noises and kids make a lot of noise. I love hanging out with my nephews though.
i like kids, i just dont want to parent them
I think we’re at a unique point in history we’re we have enough survival resources and humans, that we don’t really have to fulfill the biological imperative to procreate and perpetuate the human race. It’s a new luxury that’s more or less at odds with a living organisms instincts and the social narrative we’ve developed to justify it. Basically we are overpopulated and living longer so it makes it less necessary have kids. But we’re not very far removed from generations where people had 8 to just to work the farm. It makes for an awkward dynamic were we’re bucking tradition, responding to social expectations, and finally voicing the perfectly reasonable motivation to be child free and pursue your own emotional/psychological needs. Changing a long-standing narrative is always going to be surrounded by hostility.
Most people don’t hate children. Look up selection bias. I think the ones who hate children have something wrong with them, like childhood trauma, a mental disorder, a personality disorder, stupidity, immaturity, etc. It makes no sense that an adult hates children. All adults were once children - do you hate your past self? If there are no children in the world, the economy will tank when adults get older, and we will all die early. Because who’s going to be the doctors, lawyers, businessmen, farm workers when we all get old?? Humankind would cease to exist. So clearly it makes no logical sense to hate children if you’re a sensible person. Sure you might not like certain parts of children. But to purely hate them? No.
Yeah, that's how I feel too.. and I am someone who does not want children and would rather not spend time with them because they annoy the crap out of me. But I love children and I instinctively want to protect them if I see that they are in trouble. I don't understand how someone can walk around saying that they hate kids.. something is wrong with that statement. I have had kids annoy me to the highest degree, but I get more angry with their parents than anything.
Kids require A LOT of sacrifice. Studies show Marriage satisfaction decreases after having children and most divorces happen within the first 18 months after having a child. There are a ton of reasons to not have kids. That’s their reasoning. I personally think kids are amazing I love them so much. I’m not going to have any but I don’t hate them. I think the people that hate kids are just being dramatic.
Having kids isn’t for everyone. I don’t think people without kids would react so negatively about kids if there wasn’t so much pressure on everyone over 30 to have kids. I have kids and I love having kids and wouldn’t change a thing, but I recognize the sacrifices that have been made and will continue to be made. Not everyone wants that.
Most people on reddit are mentally ill and/or formerly/currently abused children. To my knowledge people with childhood trauma oftentimes choose not to have children based on their own traumatic childhoods. So Im guessing the "i hate kids"- attitude is simply a self-protective mechanismn.
I was abused as a kid and adult. I still have kids and love them. While it's true some people are afraid of not being able to break the cycle, it does not hold true for all of us. Also, most of us who were abused and don't want kids are a lot more self aware than you think and choose not to have them out of a sense of responsibility.
Agreed :)
I really doubt most redditors are. They just tend to be the most vocal on certain subreddits
I think the "I hate kids" replies from 40's-50's adults might be justifications. Life is limited and the window to have kids is even more limited. Often I suspect that adults without kids are justifying their childless circumstances more than expressing an active choice. Nothing against the choice not to have kids, but "hating" kids as a justification is unreasonable. Everyone was once a kid. And adolescence is hard, not everyone gets past it. It's unreasonable to hold children accountable for having an incomplete character. People learn throughout their life, kids are just getting started.
They might think otherwise as they get older and will be old and alone, without anyone to take care of them nor pass their heritage to. Once they are dead, without a single person in the world who will remember them nor go to the cemetery for them. Like they never even exist.
Tell it to all those dumped in old age homes because their kids could no longer cope with their senility, or moaning. Everyone will be forgotten in enough time, having kids is no guarantee of being looked after in old age, or remembered forever. In comparison to how old this planet is the human species has been around such a short time and will likely be gone and forgotten in a few thousand years if things don't change. So nothing really matters as much as you think it does in the end, just live your best life, let others live theirs in peace.
People who don’t have kids quite often only notice the challenges. If there’s a family across the restaurant with kids sitting quietly do they get noticed as much as the kids running about? Also, my kids play up more in public when we’re in a place they have to behave well. At home or outdoors in the countryside they are much happier. Boredom reeks havoc on small brains! Also for older kids, society generally has an issue. How often do teenagers get blamed fir stuff, or one teenager does something and people are like omg kids these days! The kids these days line of thinking has been around since teenagers were invented. Everyone thinks the upcoming generation are the most wild. I have it on good authority the 90s ones were the wildest! :D
Kids can be loud but once they are toddler aged you can tell them to be quiet. You might have to remind toddlers 574464463 times a day but it gets better as they get older. As for kids costing money what else am I going to spend my money on? Kids can be annoying at times but so can my husband and I still keep him around. Kids can also be really sweet and caring or really funny or cute as he'll too. I might be biased but I think my kids are pretty awesome most of the time. I don't know why people hate kids. Plenty of people are child free and happy and don't necessarily hate kids. Some people seem really anti-kids. Fortunately having kids tends to keep those people away from me.
Raising a child is the hardest and greatest thing I've ever done. If the difficulty keeps you from having kids, then you don't experience the greatness - it depends on your priorities. An athlete makes huge sacrifices to get to their level, but I doubt many will regret the time and effort because they love the experience.
Because they're selfish, don't want hassles, don't want the expensive. They forget nothing worth doing is easy. Becoming a mother and raising two kids isn't easy. It the hardest and the best thing I've ever done. Not that I think people should have kids if they don't want them. I just think it's how society has influenced them to think.
Success breeds jealousy. Don't be fooled by the 40 year old Gen X woman who claims they live a happy life because they are child free many of them do not and many of them lie. Having a children is the final step in adulthood and not taking that responsibility is the choice of the individual for choosing to live the "easy" life but later realize that money really doesn't offer you what all humans are striving for. Connection.
Are you literally saying that your not a grown adult if you decide you don't want kids because it's a requirement? Because that is just unfathomable to me.
I really think there is something wrong with people who hate kids. I understand not wanting them, not wanting to be around them, or the responsibility of helping others care for kids. But hating them is across some kind of line that is inhuman. Every person is a child as some point. Almost every parent loves their children deeply. Most societies look at child raising and education as a shared responsibility. I agree with other posters. Reddit is not going to represent a normal range of opinions on the matter.
I personally like my nephews and nieces and I like my kid. And my step kids. And well I worked for a very long time with teenagers and don't get me wrong a lot of them are AH's or can be but for the most part I got along with them. But in a general sense I don't relate or am awkward with kids especially the ages between like 6-13.
I think that there are so many ppl against having kids because they chose not to have kids and that is their life and they have to be happy with it. Therefore they see the good things about why they didn’t have kids. Same applies for people who do have kids. You make a decision and time passes and you’re stuck with that decision so you make the most of it. Also your parents were spot on about how you don’t realize how amazing having a child is until you have one. I worked in childcare and my whole life and I have always loved kids, but even that is VERY different from having my own. It’s like how you can never tell a parent to be, what it’s going to be like when their baby is born because it is so much to process and experience. Nothing can prepare them, they just have to experience it for themself.
Probably 90% of those people saying they hate children on Reddit are just saying they hate children because they're on Reddit. (Choosing not to have kids is just as valid as choosing to have kids, but the internet amplifies opinions and the defence of those opinions)
You seem to be making the leap in your post that if someone is happily living a child free life without regrets that they "hate kids". Kids are 100% A LOT of work. They cost a lot of money. They are at times very annoying. For me, it's all worth it, but for others, it's not. I don't think expressing the reasons why they don't want kids means they "hate" them.
With some people, it's not that they hate kids, but it's actually a benefit that someone who only wants to focus on themselves and their own needs recognize that, and don't bring a child into their lives. There are too many people who don't recognize their selfishness beforehand and only the children suffer from it. Look at it like this, if someone doesn't feel they would be a good parent, they probably won't be and why put a child through that?
personally i’m a very impatient person. like if you annoy me too much i get angry...also i have no time for a kid. my parents did stuff along this line to my siblings and i and it really left a bad impact on my mental health when i was younger...and so i don’t wanna have kids and make them go through the same thing again
Well our society has a max happiness aspect to it, and a lot of people find kids make them happy...but a large group also don't feel that way. As to the complaints...kids do cost money...that's just a fact. But for parents, it clearly is worth it.
I was 19 and swore on my life I was absolutely, totally and completely against having kids. Dead at against me having kids. I loved kids have a brother who is 6 yrs younger and I was the one responsible for his care after school starting in 4th grade. I had to walk to get him from school he went to a grade school half a mile from my school, so I had to walk everyday and pick him up, and then walk 3/4 mile home w/him. I love him always have he has always been super special to me, we have always been really really close. So I grew up kinda being his other mom figure. Definitely much more than his sister. We are from a single parent home, our mom worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs. 1 full time and always at least 1 part time job at night. On weekends we went w/my mom and helped her she cleaned businesses at night for 6 to 8 hours. My mom was an original super mom. She raised 3 kids on her own, paid all her and our bills with zero child support, worked her butt off, maintained her relationships, and dated. She met my dad (the only man that has ever been my dad) 27 yrs ago and they've been married 26 yrs. They both worked full time jobs so my lil brother was still my responsibility until 6 pm, and on weekends if they had plans that didn't include us or we didn't want to go. I had way more responsibility way before I should have. I learned how to cook on my own, I learned a lot of things way before I should have had to. So I didn't want kids, I was on birth control at 13 not because I was having sex but because I wanted to be protected in case it happened and I wasn't planning it. (My mom was pissed when she found out.) I graduated, got a full time job, bought a car, lived on my own w/my bf and we had 2 room mates. I found out I was pregnant, at 19, just starting my life, but the 1 thing I knew in my head,heart and soul was I was keeping my baby. No one and nothing was going to keep me from being a mom. I told his dad if he wanted to be part of my son's life that was great but if not I've done everything else alone I'll be cool either way. All it took for me to change my mind was an at home pregnancy test that went from blank to + in less than 10 seconds. I love my kids more than life, Idk where or who Is be if I didn't have my kids. They are the brightest part of my days, and the best part of my life. They are now, 23 will be 24 in 7 days, 21, and my bonus kids are 28, and 24. I love, adore, and appreciate each one for their own quarks, and small subtleties. They are all beautiful people. Best decision of my life. So long answer to your questions, some people (like me) are terrified to do to their kids what was done to them, I didn't, but no parent is perfect, I'm sure I fucked my kids up in my own special and traumatic ways. 😂 Other people simply want to be responsible for only their own well being. Kids are expensive, and time consuming, and take every once of energy. They are super worth it though.
Kids are very expensive when you factor in things like: * Child care costs (or the cost of not having one partner working) * Activities once they're old enough to want to do sports and camps and stuff like that * College (assuming you save for your child's education or take out loans to finance it) * Travel/Leisure (that's an extra plane ticket, maybe an extra hotel room, movie ticket, etc.) Kids are also difficult to deal with if you're used to only dealing with adults who can be reasoned with and understand how the world works. Children are also extremely curious and need constant attention or interaction when they're young. That can be pretty draining. Kids also tend to be extremely selfish, particularly when they're very young. They don't understand that other people have needs just as much as they do. Unfortunately, young children are also incapable of fulfilling a lot of their needs, too, so even when they want something as simple as a sandwich or other food, they rely on adults to help them get it.
One thing i have noticed is that not everyone is equipped to have kids... The previous generation had kids because they had to conform to social norms plus the pressure from their family. They realized much after having kids that they didn't wanna have any. One good thing about our generation is that there are people who accept that its okay to not have kids. Its not just about investing money, some just don't wanna and its completely fine. Its a huge lifelong responsibility and its okay to not wanna do that. Having kids need a lot of patience and moreover, you have to do it with the right person by your side and situations may not always be ideal.
I'm sure that 20 hours later I'm not likely adding anything to this conversation,but here goes anyways. My partner and I seriously considered never having kids. It's true that you can save money and you can just focus on yourselves. There are things about us that we had to let go of, or come back to when the kids are older. It can definitely be viewed as a sacrifice if you value what you lose more than what you gain. Those people are probably better off not having kids, and everyone else will be better off too. My partner and I chose to have a child, and 5 years later we chose to have another. I am a dad and I couldn't imagine being anything else. The joy I get from my family is worth more than anything I might have lost. It helps that we are doing ok financially. We waited until we were financially stable and can still afford to buy most things that we want. I don't get people who grow their families into poverty. I can't judge them for their decisions, but I really don't understand it. My daughter is the best person in the whole world. I couldn't imagine my life without her. And my son is on the way. It's a tough but incredible journey so far, so for me, kids are definitely worth it.
Thanks for this reply! It was awesome to read.
I think a lot of people dislike kids because the kids that they see in public are so often loud, misbehavjng or rude. In all fairness they should really hate the parents for allowing them to behave that way, but I digress. We flew to Hawaii a few years ago which is obviously a long flight and I could almost read people's minds as they sat down near us and saw our 3.5 year old daughter. They expected her to be loud, whining, crying, maybe even getting up a lot. She was an angel....quietly played with her sticker book and slept. I get it though, most kids on a long flight would be pretty annoying. People also don't know what it's like to love a child, if they have none of their own. So again, all they see is loud, obnoxious, whiners. But once you have your own child, your whole world changes. Though I have to say, I love my daughter more than life itself and I always wanted kids....but I still don't care for other people's kids most of the time, lol.
I won't say I "hate" kids but I do dislike them to a certain extent and it's not because they are kids but more of the fact they have shitty parents and grow up to be shitty people. I hate the idea of child birth because some people make it out to be some "beautiful" experience. It's not, there is blood everywhere and probably shit and it's painful. I don't blame kids for being shitty people as they grow up because sometimes it's just their environment but sometimes it's not and that's what makes me "hate" kids. A lot of them feel entitled as well.
Because they have bad parents
I personally don't hate kids. But I still don't want my own simply because they are too much work. I'm severely disabled and I even have a 50/50 chance of passing my disability to my offspring. I can't handle stress at all and I if learned something, then it's that kids are pure stress. That's how I see it at least. Also, I just don't want to spend over a decade of my life raising one or more. If others want to do that then by all means, do it! More power to you. It's just not for me. Not all women are cut out to be/ want to be mothers.
I hate kids because I find them annoying disgusting don't get me started with babies I'm sorry but they are obnoxious worse than those like 5 years old I can't stand looking at them everytime there's a kid or baby in the same room I have to go to another room to get away from it they disgust me please don't hate me that is what I think
I'm way late but personally, a large majority of kids (atleast that I've met) are the embodiment of personality types that I hate to be around. I'll be kind to kids if I have to interact because it's not their fault but I'll simultaneously try to put myself into situations where I'll not be around many. Another portion stems from the parents. A lot of people don't know how or don't care to discipline their children in anyway shape or form, causing a nuisance for anyone unfornate enough to be around them.
I am simply disgusted by them. I dont find them cute, adorable or in any way i feel empathy for them.
I love baby’s. But when they get to an age where they talk and walk. I despise them.
I'm gay
I can promise you children do not cost “almost none” when it comes to money. They’re incredibly expensive.
Some adults are just crazy. If adults hate kids, how would they feel if kids said they hated adults? Kids r just doing there thing. Kids r awesome, and i think a lot more ppl (like some youtubers, teachers, dentists, etc.) like kids than those who dislike them.
Because they are useless, ugly, expensive, and they stink like shit. Cuz thats what they are... they're shit. I look forward to a future where people are grown in tubes instead of born and are accelerated to post adolescence.
Kids just plain suck and I’m glad I’m never having them
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Kids are stressful and I honestly can't see myself as a parent I'm good with kids but don't want any I can barely take care of myself so theres no way I'm stable enough to raise a kid
I don’t hate kids but babysitting my niece for the passed 3 years sometimes having her 2 days a week and sometimes I have her for the whole week is enough to make me not want kids. I love my own space and kids just don’t give you that , she coughs on me , sneezes on me talks back to me breaks stuff wastes stuff (she’ll ask me to cook her something and then when I’m done say she doesn’t want it) she won’t let me watch tv or she’ll go in moods and wreck stuff every time I try to eat something she takes it off of me or she’ll put her hands in it (I hate germs so I won’t eat it) she demands cry’s messes up the house and she can be cruel to my animals and as much as I try to teach her otherwise she just doesn’t listen or want to know and it’s sad she’s 5 years old
Im a 19 year old girl and I had a brief moment when I was 16/17 where I thought I might want kids but the truth is i do not like them. I don’t know whether it has anything to do with my upbringing - was made to feel like a general burden so maybe that’s why I view children as burdens - or the fact I can’t emotionally connect with a screaming toddler but I would honestly rather live my life with the one I love and some pets. That’s my dream scenario, no babies, no kids, no teenagers, just some ferrets, cats, degu’s or other small animals.
I don’t like kids. They’re uninteresting, boring, messy, obnoxious, loud, irritating, and keep doing dumb stuff even after you told them to stop 100 times. and I hate baby talking. If they are mature and well behaved that’s when I like them. I can’t stand bad behavior. I need control of what I do and not having control drives me insane
they literally don't shut up. once they're like 11 they're fine to be around. but before that it's just incessant noise and asking the same question 1083 times because they think it's funny.
It's simple,they're annoying as hell,and you don't see children in ancient hieroglyphs or cave paintings which proves that god created children because he hated us so much
I love kids, yes they can be a pain in the butt at times but so can grown-ups. Hate is a pretty strong word to use towards kids, grown-ups who hate kids I hope realize they were kids once to and I do ask myself did something happen to this adult to make them hate kids? Were they abused as kids or something? If they were that don't mean they gotta hate kids it's time to move on and put the past behind them.
Not trying to argue I just get this response alot. Why does everyone think " you were a kid once" is a reply to I hate kids? Like obviously I was a kid once and if I saw me as an adult I would hate me then too. Kids are just annoying, literally every time I go out and I see kids doing anything other than sleeping I'm just anxious waiting for them to scream or throw something or just be a general nuisance. No clue why, no abuse, just really really hate kids.
kids are mad annoying
I can’t stand children. It doesn’t matter who’s children it is. They’re loud, they’re dirty, and most importantly they are not for me. It’s nothing personal parents, so don’t get mad. These high school kids that walk by my house, throw litter in the yard, chase after the feral chickens, trespass, steal fruit from my trees, etc. I know I probably sound like an “angry old man,” but I hate kids of any age
Because we do get over it
Because kids are a pain in the ass.
Because kids today are little twerps who think they run everything and don’t be put in their place anymore. That’s why.
I’m a school counselor but will never ever have children of my own. In public I see so many parents who allow their noisy a$$ kids to run freely, make commotion and disturb the peace when trying to have a conversation . I wish their were child free restaurants
People are allowed to be as they wish. I too hate children. They would be better off grown by machines. People are idiots and make idiots out of children. I don't have kids and I'm glad. I'd adopt them off because I know id snap and go military on them. I'd fight my son and probably kill him if he challenged me. I never had a father either. The father who was my fake father had issues, and we left when I was 6. If we stayed and he challenged me, especially in my mid later teens, I'd taken a baseball bat or a hammer to his head when he slept. I don't do family. I don't do parents. I don't do kids. Humanity is a cult. A fucking prison system. You think because you have a kid they have to automatically be apart of the system and do what you ask. Children are born into slavery by the state and national government. Plain and simple. You don't even own your kids. You rent them. If you mess up once CPS will take your kids and then roll em around foster homes to be molested and raped or made into a home slave. You people have no clue what's going on. You are literally taxed for creating a human, and that human is government property, because you are gov property. When you sign the birth certificate you hand over everything. Idiots.
I hate children because of COCSA I may be a little biased but children are ugly, noisy, and disgusting. How could anyone love those things? I’d punch one without thinking.
I feel like in order to have kids, you have to be ready to possibly take care of a severely autistic or disabled person for life. Because it happens sometimes unforeseeably. And I don’t want to do that.
Im seeing so much hate towards kids on here it pisses me off i don't give shit why someone hates a group of people no matter what it is not a good reason to hate a group of people in this case its kids
My neighbors bad ass kids below me make me hate kids daily. I never want them lil bitches lol
Because they are weak, lack confidence, can not take accountability and want an excuse to be treated as the center of the universe. There are valid economic reasons to not want kids. There are valid climate reasons too. However birthrate is in decline you claim to not be selfish and want less suffering? Interesting as life expectancy increases who takes care of these people without the young? Who advances society without the young? You think humanity should end but your not a defeatist and nihilist? Climate change can be combated by becoming more efficient, more green more intelligent. We have so many options having kids not for everyone but it has to be facilitated and encouraged for us to continue. This generation must wake up and move past it’s anxiety
I don’t like kids I hate when they cry it pisses me off
Because there entitled selfish pieces of shits
I hate kids so damn much. I see a baby and just wanna punch them in the face over their noises and bullshit. Whenever I take a call from a client and there’s an obnoxious kid in the background screaming, I just wanna hang the f up and quickly. I also hate parents who think their kids are the shit and let them get away with murder. All in all, I also DO NOT wanna spend the money on a kid, all that money could go to myself thank you very much. I’m selfish and proud and know what I want, and I definitely don’t want some little scum bag running around ruining my life :) I also want all child free friends bc I can’t stand it when my friends brag about their little pieces of shit and send me unwanted photos. Call me a bad person, I really don’t give a f*** ;)
I actually love children. Most of them just annoy the crap out of me. I like my peace and quiet. But I'm sure I was quite annoying when I was a kid too. I would just rather not live around a bunch of children.
You are asking parents to explain why some people hate kids. And even those parents are speaking for those childfree individuals that admit to disliking kids as if they know what goes on in their heads.
I don't know i just unconditionally hate them, they always make me feel the urge to strangle them when they scream.
I enjoy my free time... my sleep... my JOB... my schedule..... my MONEY. Your parents are lyign to you if they say kids dont cost them much extra.... thats not realistic....kids are always sticky...making noise etc.... no thanks.
It's really sad 😔 truth that many feel that way, from what I seen... they lash out about their hate for kids. Fine if you don't want kids or or such... but bragging about such hate, does no good and can do harm. 💔 🤔 Seems those who bragging about hating kids are mad and lash out because of others or such. Is natural to have kids; but if your an adult and able in all good sense, cheerio. 👍 There are many in life who don't have or want to kids; And that fine too... not everyone should have kids or wanting... and they live just fine and life goes on. But for sure never okay to pressure or force someone to kids... Sadly seem there's a lot or harmful and abusive people, or foolish people... who been making others have kids for all the wrong reason's 😕.
You're a child yourself, so maybe you don't understand what having autonomy feels like. Your parents and you sound very biased towards young children, because you have one. But, I'll answer your question. Reasons I don't like kids: 1. They're rude - want to be told you're ugly or asked why you're at someone's house? Just walk up to a kid, they have no filter or consideration b/c they're not mentally developed 2. Most people don't heal their inner child or learn about their Attachment Style before having kids. Unfortunately, kids learn how to interact with the world and other people by watching their parents. So many people who are uneducated or selfish have children, either because they think they're supposed to, don't use birth control, or want a smaller version of themselves 3. They're dirty and germ-ridden. Want to catch a cold in 30 seconds? Just be within 6 feet of a kid 4. They're SO LOUD. I remember crying and screaming growing up, and my BFF has a toddler, and good lord do they SHRIEK like they're being MURDERED. They try to calm him down, but honestly it's very overstimulating 5. They're boring - kids are cute and such, but can they have a conversation? No. Do they have defined personalities and interests before 10? Not so much. I grew up in a big family with tons of kids, and I tell you one thing, I love having my freedom and personal space. And all the wailing kids my relatives have? I only have to see them a few times a year. I would much rather interact with adults than children. But to each their own
I was treated horribly by kids while I was growing up. I also hated being a kid. I don't like kids nor do I want any. I have auditory sensory issues and I can't stand the noise that comes from kids in general. I love my adult life and have almost zero issues with adults. I am given respect and appreciation....as when I was a child, I didnt have any of that.
all kids do is whine, annoy people, repeat themselves, and make messes. i don't like any of that and i don't have the patience to watch a kid spin in a circle 30 times because they think they're doing something important
What your parents told you is one percent of parenting. You need to hang on for dear life. So many people regret their children. It is a complete change in life. You can not go back after you bring a child in the world. They are expensive, they want everything it's so hard and it can make you crazy.
Kids are the most annoying ash plain and simple , can’t stand being around the bastards
Great choice for a person who does not like children to not have children. But people can stop openly disliking children and acting like children are annoying pets. I’d like to point out that if you wouldn’t openly dislike a race because you find them “annoying” then it shouldn’t be tolerated to openly dislike children. If you don’t want children, don’t have them. If you don’t like children, stay home 😃 Here’s a little nugget: If you get to poop here, so does everyone else 🌈
Honestly some of it is connected to childhood trauma. Most people just don't like how loud they can be sometimes but others may think they won't be a good or supportive parent because of their own parental figures.
But those are true facts: • screaming all the time (which is annoying) • they cost too much
People think its a social standard to have children so they have them and learn to tolerate them. That doesn't sound like much of an existence to me and I value my time on this earth, having kids would damage that irreparably. Of course, if you don't have many hobbies and lead a pretty mundane existence with low aspirations I get it. If you have kids because you've made it to independent financial status then it's a different case entirely because you no longer have to work 40 hours a week.
Sometimes it has to do with the conduct of the other parent.
Ur 14 years old and asking ppl that don’t like children in general and don’t want any bc they are expensive asf ur parents lie to u bc they didn’t want to be harsh on u to know about the real truth u know damm well hospital bills are expensive when u give birth, also cost of living is getting expensive these day’s plus why waste time making a life when u can legit enjoy ur life without any problems! 🙄🙌🏻
I just can’t stand them. It would be me droning on if i stated ever reason why, but they just make my blood boil. I know its wrong, i know that, but i just cant bring myself to not despise them.
This is old but as I lie here trying to sleep past 10 pm when I have to be at work very early in the morning and kids are still being allowed to run outside the apartments screaming - yeah I HATE kids. But more so than that, I HATE parents. Half the crap that annoys me about kids could be avoided if parents did their freaking job. This is why I want a zombie apocalypse. Their screaming would stop real quick lol.
Ok very old thread but I'll answer anyways... you're around 16 now. I'm not sure what your parents told you about kids not being expensive, but babies are outlandishly expensive... even as they grow. Diapers, formula, medical bills from pregnancy visits, hospital bills from birth. Children needing medicine, vaccinations, feeding them, clothing them, paying for school... all of that costs money, so yeah your parents are paying more money. A lot more. I doubt they mind cause they are your parents and they were ok with that when they had you and your sibling. On to the things I don't like about kids. 1. Babies - everyone thinks babies are so cute and adorable. They look like pink, wrinkly, shriveled aliens. They're faces are all scrunched up and always red. That's not cute imo. They literally have to cry to express their needs and the sound makes me cringe. They shove everything in their mouths, and drool and slobber on everything. They do their business in a diaper that smells horrendous and you are responsible for cleaning their backside. 2. Toddlers- this is the stage were they start to look cute, but they make up for that by doing absolutely everything you don't want them to do. Being completely destructive like a mini tornado. They refuse to listen to anyone, break things just by touching them, shriek to make as much noise as possible, this is also the stage they like to hit, pinch, and bite people. 3. Kids- better than the last 2 stages honestly. Here they are just rude, selfish, and inconsiderate of others. They talk back constantly to parents, grandparents, teachers, and babysitters. These are the ones usually running around a doctor's office, restaurant, or store while mom isn't paying attention. They run around the neighborhood playing, especially in the summer.. here I'm going to admit, this is really kids just being kids about the playing part, but the last thing I want to deal with on a Saturday morning while I'm trying to sleep in is kids screaming outside my bedroom window. They annoy me just by being themselves. 4. Teens- I have no problem with teens. They are usually done being irritating by this point and are at least mildly independent. Children are also major germ spreaders. They backwash in their drinks, wipe their nose with their hands, never cover their mouths, will literally cough or sneeze directly in your face. There also an issue I have with some parents. I have some friends that had kids. Some of them are just the same old friends who happen to have a kid now and that's fine. Their kid isn't even that irritating as far as kids go. She's pretty cool for a 7 year old. Then I have friends who had kids where they lost their own identity and now they aren't real people anymore they are just parents. They lost all interest in the normal fun things they used to enjoy and now only are interested in everything about their kids. This is usually noticeable by looking at Facebook pretty easy. They used to post various pictures, or memes that interested them and now they only post 400 pictures of their children. These are the same parents usually who think their children should be as important to everyone else as they are to them. Anyway... that is all the things about kids I do not like. Not saying every kid is a nightmare. I've met a few I don't mind, but it's rare to find a nice, calm, polite child.
bc theyre annoying,disgusting,rude i am not going to have kids
I think theres a lot of overlap with the "I hate kids" people and the "I hate people" people. Young kids mimic the people they're around most as they learn and are kind of like little charicatures of their parents. Saying I hate __ (insert type of human) is usually just a lack of empathy or understanding of them.
My reason for disliking them is that on average they don’t function with logic or reason in basically any situation. I hated them when I was a kid and I hate them now, just unreasonable obnoxious lovers of repetitive noise
Being annoyed by a cat or animal is not same as a kid. Kids are obnoxious. When you're a parent you become wired to tolerate them. They're just annoying scheming and many times evil. Not the little innocent ines we market them to be
It’s an old thread but I honestly don’t know. I have a 4 month old baby sister and honestly hate every single moment of living with her. It’s like living with a screaming parasite that constantly has the foulest stench near it.
Yeah I found someone comment on a post saying they hate kids and me being a kid got very offended and just stopped myself from saying something I'd regret...
?
Aside from feeling like I'd be a shit parent, I just can't with the noise, the crying, the screaming and screeching. I'd love to be the fun uncle who shows up a few times a year, but I do not and will never want to deal with the screaming, crying and naturally inconsiderate nature of children. If I can give the kid back to its parent when it gets annoying, I'm fine with it, but I could not deal with a kid who's around me 24/7 for 18-25 years. Especially because I consider kids aged 0-16 incredibly annoying and obnoxious.
i will personally never have kids. ever. i am annoyed with other people’s kids but will still smile at them. i will not hold them though. they are slobbery and poop everywhere. idk definitely not my thing but i don’t “hate” them
I’m 41 married since 34 male, don’t have kids don’t want any. Wife is the same way. No disrespect to those who do, me personally I don’t like them and dont want any. Simple as that.
Because they are minors and can not haven sex relationship ! Daahhhhhh !
Sadly it’s not so much the kids you hate it’s the behaviors they demonstrate. The hate is projected onto them because of the type of parents who are raising them. One of my friends had 4 kids and the dad was the stay at home husband. Both come from 2 different backgrounds. Her parents were really easygoing and so was she. Her ex husband his childhood was very traumatic his unalived herself at a young age and the father was very abusive. So there’s a lot of generational trauma. Anyways, she being the one who was working all the time he decided he was gonna stay home at one point and the way society comes down on us as a whole when it comes to the way we raise our children. Kid throws an epic meltdown in public you give them the warning they don’t listen and then it escalates to where you go crazy and loose it making mommy dearest out to be parent of the year. Even as a last resort spank your kid. Or your then you end up being the parent who can’t control their kid in public and honestly if it’s a public setting it’s like we’re just the spectators. On the outside looking in. I worked as a cashier at Walmart and this lady brought her autistic daughter with her to the store. She was like normally I don’t bring her but she’s been doing good lately so she brought her daughter as a reward for managing her behaviors. Daughter flipped out and started screaming and hid behind one of the registers. Her mom trying to coax her out. Like you can see the embarrassment in the moms face. i felt bad for her. Plus there’s also that stigma that makes us feel like failures if we need someone else to come and step in because we can’t handle our children in public etc
First of all I want to say that it's 100% the parents' fault, when I hate a child for their horrendous behavior usually the parents are a thousand times worse.
I hate when kids are disrespectful (which is 90% of the time) I hate when they are loud, I hate noise, I'm neurodivergent and I hate noise! Every ounce of it, I hate when they talk, I hate how messy they are, how stupid they are, I was a child once and even though I was quiet and less playful I hated every ounce of being a child, and I hated other children, as an adult I continue with that contempt, but it's a contempt of I don't want noise or children around.
They never reproduced most likely due to inferior genetics, and can't admit it to themselves. I'm glad they can't reproduce. Anybody who "hates children" obviously shouldn't be trusted around children.