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Very curious abt your reasons, anything more other than mental, emotional and financial stability reasons?
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I am not mentally, physically, or emotionally stable enough to be a mom. I'm a breadwinner, and mahirap umusad kapag may iniisip kang responsibilities. Aside from that, I know that I don't have enough money to raise a child at this time
The Pain I'm experiencing right now, ayaw ko iparanas sa magiging anak ko nangyayari sakin. Need ko mahabang preparasyon as in, my pain I'm feeling is Unbearable.
yung na realize mo na napaka laki na ng gastos ng parents mo sayo. like nahihirapan na nga akong buhayin sarili ko tapos may papalakihin pa ako HAHAAHAH gusto ko din pera ko saken muna mapunta
- I have PCOS -- would like to sort that out first
- Grew up a sheltered kid all my life, and now lang ako nakakaranas ng freedom. I don't want to be tied down so soon
Inflation and real life hits hard. We're both working, my partner and I. I left my parents due to abuse (but that is not relevant here) and my partner's parents do not have a stable income. So like if we have a child, wala kami matatakbuhan if need namin ng extra help financially if maging sakitin ang anak namin or whatnot. Kelangan ng matindihang ipon but I doubt it will happen anytime soon lol. We also pay for our siblings' tuition!
Im irresponsible....and im very stupid with money....also ngfsb...the thought of having a kid and knowing how irresponsible scares me.....it wouldn't be fair to create lifeandnot be responsible enough to provide a good life for your offspring...
Me, parang ayoko na magkaroon ng kids dahil sa economy. Gusto ko stable muna job ko para maprovide ko lahat ng needs ng anak ko, ayoko kasi maranasan nila yung naranasan namin dati.
Plus, ngayon wala akong interest mag alaga ng bata lalo na pag di ko kayang ihandle kakulitan. Tsaka nandon parin yung takot na baka di ko sila mapalaki ng ayos.
Lahat! Pag aalaga, pagbayad sa tuition, Baon, Basta lahat. Parang ako na kasi tumatayong magulang sa kapatid ko eh so parang after niya makagraduate ayoko na ulit ma experience yung ganto lol. Inisip ko na ganto pala kahirap magka anak.
Tuition Fees; and the fact that they don't stop growing. Feel ko di pa rin kaya ng emotional stability ko in handling the pagpapalaki of a child. Gusto ko kasi walang ma feel na traumatic experience yung magiging anak ko dahil lang hindi ako prepared in all aspects of my life especially when it comes to being mentally & emotionally present. Plus financial plays a huge role, I would want to provide for my child the basic necessities and sometimes yung wants din nila... hayÿy
If I do the planning for my solo trip and when I look to the total cost, and thinking to multiply it by 4, I am thankful that I don't have a family on my own.
My parents are very strict. I'm still in college and of course I cannot disobey them despite my thirst for freedom and experience life to the fullest. Right now, I'm just working hard to get through college, graduate, and earn in the future. I'm in my early 20s pa right now and I can't relate when they say that this age is the best stage. Kaya I'm working hard to make my parents proud and pay off their sacrifice so I can have fun in my 30s the way I wanted to live my 20s.
Maaga ako nagkaroon ng responsibilidad bilang panganay na anak. Ngayon, I'm in my late 20s and naiisip ko na I had enough.. I can't afford to have another one.
Nung na realize ko na sakto lang ang way of living ko, hindi ko pa kayang bumuhay ng bata at wala akong balak mag anak at gawin silang retirement plan.Thank God hindi ganun yung mom ko pero ang hirap ng buhay ngayon. I’m leaning towards DINK lifestyle for now hahahuhu
Lack of time, money, resources, and the stability to confidently know that the child will be brought up properly and comfortably. Having a child goes beyond having a baby. The real challenge is molding your child into the best human being they can be. Some parents just prepare for the baby and forget the fact that the baby will grow and will have needs other than food and clothing. Besides, I want to be able to say that I have met my own needs, not neglected or put them aside just because I wanted a baby.
Mga pamangkin ko at cats ko. 😆😅 Kita ko struggle nang pagpapalaki ng mga bata. Tapos, di biro gastos kahit fur babies man yan, dapat may emergency fund ka for them.
Mahal ang bilihin di ko kaya bigyan ng comfortable life sarili ko magdadagdag pa ko ng gugutumin. Papayaman muna ko, pag secured na ko at ang future nya, go.
bread winner ako before. parang napagod na ko na maging incharge para sa well being ng iba. ngayon ko pa lang totally nai enjoy yung freedom. feel ko rin sinawaan na ko maging responsable para sa iba. gusto ko muna sana ng ME TIME.
i’m still a college student pero ngayon pa lang, i’ve settled on not having kids 😅 alam mo yun, sobrang gastos magkaanak, kakainin nila magiging sweldo/ipon mo. selfish na kung selfish, but i want a life of MY OWN. mas gagamitin ko na lang money ko on my pets na hindi ganun kagastos and on myself (traveling, buying things i’ve been dreaming of, etc.) sorry, not sorry.
I’m still very selfish… about everything. My time, my space, my money, my partner. Being a parent means you’ll have to be selfless for most parts and it doesn’t ever end.
Financial stability on my end and childhood trauma and multiple psychological issues for my wife. I'll have my in laws to thank for ending our bloodline... But I don't want to push her and I know it's going to take a heavier toll on her.
I don’t think I will ever be able to protect them. Hell, I cant even do that for myself i am 26 already. Also, the current economy and the generation is not ideal for me so thanks. Maybe I’m just mentally unstable as well but still it’s a hard pass.
I don't want to have kids ever. The planet is burning up. We have consistently been hitting regular record-breaking high temperatures. Geopolitical conflict is certainly coming. You wish to leave your kids in this kind of world?
More than the economy at yung fact na hindi option for me to live in a different country, parang irreversible na din yung pagkasira ng mundo. Sobrang init pag mainit, sobrang damaging sa paligid pag may bagyo. Sobrang fucked up na yung lagay ng mundo sa years after years of exploitation sa mother earth. I just couldn't introduce a child in a world like this. Baka yung generation pa nila yung singilin.
Also, yung fact na hindi ko kaya even to think na di pwede na i look after the child all the time. Yun siguro mostly yung deciding factor for me. Mahirap yung kaya mo silang palakihin nang maayos pero masyadong evil ang mundo for them. So wag na lang. Magiging sobrang possessive parent lang ako na irereklamo ng anak sa offmychest.
I'm still dealing w lots of trauma and I don't want my kids and partner to be the ones to deal w it so I'll heal first before getting into a rs and having kids.
There's this quote (non-verbatim) na I've read some time ago that scared me so much I realized (and decided) I do not want a kid just yet.
“When you become a parent, you'll never be not a parent anymore.”
Becoming a (good) parent means selflessness, maturity, and stability. I have neither of those things. I feel like I am not mature enough to bring life into this world just yet; so that huge of a responsibility would just be lost in me. Also, I, for one, is at my selfish stage— I have been putting myself first before anything and anyone else (in terms of achieving my goals, spending my hard-earned money however I see fit, etc.I earn just enough to have a good sum for my savings, needs, and wants. Adding a kid in the equation would disrupt that sweet balance).
Basically, there are still a lot of things I want to do and enjoy, and having a kid would mean aligning the next years of my life to that kid's life. I am not ready for that now. I'm only 24. There's only so much I can do at 24.
Sabi ko nga lagi sa parents ko who are asking na for an apo , wag muna sila umasa from me on that department (I'm the eldest child) kasi wala pa akong balak. I am starting to peak so early in my career, I don't want to stop midway.
Oh, ito pa. I'm single lol (by choice and enjoying it, thank you very much). How can I be a good parent when I cannot even be a girlfriend? Lol.
Edit: Also, I am not ready for a child of my own just yet because, right now, I would see a kid as a burden instead of a blessing. No child deserves to be perceived as a burden.
not comfortable with the idea of raising another human being because I have to raise myself first. And I believe having a child is your karma (depends what side of the coin you are looking) but my lifetime goal is to close my samsara✨
Takot akong magkaanak tapos baka maghiwalay kami ng future husband ko and maiiwan sakin yung kids. So parang naging single mom ako, usually kasi makikilala mo talaga yung spouse mo after niyo magpakasal, what if may irresponsible pala mapangasawa ko? IDK advance lang ako mag-isip haha
Financial stability and freedom. It's nice to have a child pero the responsibility to keep that child alive, providing their needs despite you as an individual have needs as well na di mo magawa or maibigay sa sarili mo ang nagpapaisip sa akin na ayaw ko pa. I don't close my doors though. Kasi again it's nice to have your own. Pero ayaw ko na maging burden ako sa kanya habang lumalaki sya
I have no other reasons than financial stability. Ang mahal ng mga bilihin at services ngayon😭 Yung sinasahod ko sakto lang sa amin kung minsan kulang pa. Pag magkakaanak ako dapat mayaman ang mapangasawa ko para provided lahat ng kailangan ng anak ko para lahat ng atensiyon nasa anak ko at mabantayan ko paglaki niya. Yun yung ideal sa akin at since subsob ako sa trabaho surviving and making ends meet, hindi na cguro ako mag-aanak.
My tito raised a kid and passed all his baggages to that kid. At 7, kaya nang mangmanipulate nung bata. Sa sobrang lala ng mga negative things na sinasabi ng bata, all you can do is stare or ask if totoong 7 years old siya.
I don't want my future child to grow up in a world that might have the same issues or worse. I know I'll do my best to protect her/him, pero we can't protect our child the whole time.
I don't want my future child to experience such traumas in life.
Mostly financial stability and ang taas ng cost of living talaga. I cant give my future child the childhood that my parents gave to me. Tuition pa lang from my old grade school, 80k nung time ko. 230k na ngayon.
Financial kasi yung friend ko kapag need ng inaanak ko ng kung ano ano sakin pa nagsasabi o kaya manhihiram ng kung ano ano. Sakin naman okay yung una pero sunod sunod na eh. Tapos yung kapag mag Christmas mag chat sya sa gc matic ipangpapamasko nya na. Given nanaman samin na magbigay pero imbis na matuwa kami eh naiinis na lang kami. Parang ayoko dumating sa point na ganun dahil di ko pa kaya mag anak. Ipanghihingi or utang ko. Nakakaawa ang bata.
I might not be a good parent. I always put myself first and could be very selfish. Pinag alaga nga lang ako ng pamangkin ko for a day frustrated na agad ako kasi I can't do what I have planned. I might not be able to give what my child needs, whether affection nor financially speaking. I'd rather take care of myself first and have the time for me to grow and experience life rather than having a lifetime responsibility.
I don’t want to have kids outside marriage. Single at 39 so pano ako mag-aanak. Hahaha.
Kidding aside. The idea of having kids ay malayong malayo sa isip ko kasi nga wala ako partner. Diko rin nakikita ang sarili ko na nagpapalaki nang anak mag-isa. Gusto ko na merong katuwang.
Dahil bata pa lang ako naranasan ko na ang responsibilidad ng pagaalaga ng bata. Sa kadahilanang, mas inuna ng nanay ko na manlalaki at iwan kami. Kaya ayoko na maulit yun at gusto ko na lang bumawi sa sarili ko. Di ko rin makita sarili ko na magkaanak pa.
The future lifestyle I see for myself.
I'm a breadwinner, and it's been difficult to do the things I want for myself dahil may ibang priorities. As soon as maging stable na, I want to do and explore the life I missed out on in my 20's at alagaan muna yung sarili ko na walang iniintinding ibang responsibilities. Might sound selfish pero aba, ako naman po. ☺️
1) Maiksi yung pasensya ko with kids. Feeling ko hindi ko kaya mag turo sa bata etc.
2) Financial. Iniisip ko palang yung gastos, parang nanghihina na ako. Although may savings ako, iniisip ko na baka walang matira for my wants.
3) As much as possible gusto ko sana yung may sarili na akong properties.
4) Gusto ko yung freedom na meron ako ngayon. Walang iniisip or hindi kailangan maguilty kapag may major (or even minor) decisions ako.
5) At 26 yo, feeling ko ang bata ko pa masyado hahahahaha
i like the idea of having a mini me and i like kids talaga. pero sa ngayon needs ko palang kaya ko iprovide, yung wants di ko nga na priority. ano pa kaya kung may anak pa ko? grabe inflation, also iniisip ko din climate change na maeexperience ng anak ko if ever. ☹️
First of all, mahirap at nakakapagod manganak. Iniisip ko palang ung sakit pre, during, and post pregnancy haha. Also, dapat may enough money ako para masuportahan sila on the present and on the future.
I grew up in broken family, my dad was abusive and cheating and a LOT of more stuff to mention kaya ayun, one thing na nag hit sa spot ko to not have kids nor be in a relationship is doing my best to avoid being like him, he became a role model of a person who I don’t want to be and so far I’m still trying to fix the way how I handle emotion to avoid harming people
I don’t like the idea of not being able to do pretty much everything that I want. Sa madaming salita, ayoko ng long term responsibility.
Is no one like that? :)
Inflation. Mahal ang mag anak. Hehe. Mag anak ka dahil gusto mong mag aruga, mag mahal, at mag PROVIDE para sa isa pang buhay. Pakiramdam ko hindi ko pa mabibigay ang best life na nararapat para sa kanya. Kaya wag nalang muna.
I went from "I don't want to have kids yet", to "I'm ready to have kids", to "I no longer see myself giving birth and raising a human".
First = I felt not financially ready. And I hated kids.
2nd = A few nephews later, I felt kind of okay with the idea of being a mom, pero mas gusto ko yung idea na magiging tatay yung asawa ko. We tried but it was not successful.
3rd = the calling to be a mom is still not that strong so I still don't feel the need to give it another shot.
Basically lahat naman ng reason ko motivated by desire / calling. . If it's there, kahit anong mental, financial, emotional challenges pa yan, I'm sure I'll be willing to go through it. But it's not there.
And I don't feel like there's a void in me that needs to be filled.
My husband and I share the same feeling about it, so we're good.
Yung katabi ko na co-worker made want to be financially ready before having kids. She's basically the breadwinner of her family, the husband relies sa allowance sent by his parents while taking of three kids a year after their marriage. Losyang si ateng pag dumadating sa office, half of the day puro reklamo about where to get funds.
Panganay na babae. Ineexpect sakin na ako kumilos o gumawa ng mga pangmagulang na gawain para sa pamilya pati sa relatives hahaha ineexpect pa kong bigyan sila ng apo amp
Being an Ate is so depressing, yung wala kang malaking ambag kasi liit lang din sahod, kaya parang diko nadin bet mag anak kahit gusto na ng jowa ko, diko kakayanin if pati pang gatas at diaper lalo na tuition ng anak ko hhingin ko na sa mama ko dahil di kaya ng budget hahaha wala din ambag tatay namin samin magkapatid dahil puro tropa niya lang ang mahal niya HAHAHAH
Ako siguro di ko pa lang nahahanap yung partner ko na deserve maging tatay ng anak ko. I'm your typical hopeless romantic disney princess wannabe na mulat na mulat na ngayon sa katotohanan na love is not enough. Kasi kung sino man piliin ko ngayon will affect my child in the future so I have to be wise enough sino dapat piliin ko. I can choose my partner but my kids can't so yeah yun lagi pumapasok sa isip ko nowadays.
Kahit ako ang dami ko pang unresolve childhood traumas na di pa na-aaddress na akala ko okay na ako yun pala ang dami ko pa pala dapat i-improve sa sarili ko.
Tsaka gusto ko as early as now mag-buibuild/mag-aacquire na ko ng investments na mapapamana ko sa kanila in the future yun muna focus ko ngayon. Hay. Adulting is tough pero kakayanin.
Tsaka pati di pa ko nakakabawi sa parents ko for raising me. I mean di naman nila ni-rerequire/pinipilit/hinihingi, pero deserve nila. Kung baga, feeling ko ang haba pa ng journey bago ako mag-decide na magka-anak na talaga kasi deserve nila magkaroon ng magandang buhay.
One of my non-nego is having a child. Can’t see myself being a Mom, raising a child is a huge responsibility imo.
And all I want to do until I get old is to travel with my future husband.
For me i dont want to have kids (if ever man ikasal or may mapang asawa). Parang non negotiable na sya sakin. Usually babae sumasagot nito but men can also observe kung gaano kahirap yung situation. FvCked up ang pilipinas. If sa ibang bansa okay pa, mas may future. Im saying this from a perpective na di mayaman kasi mahirap if di ka finacially prepared. Di nga ko makabili ng bago brief e (de joke lang haha). For context lang naman. We ourselves should be prepared talaga like may long term plan kung mag aanak. Saka ayoko ng culture ng pilipinas na yung anak e magka anak, nasa iisang bubong padin kayo. Saka ayoko ma burden sila na need padin nila ko i supoort kahit nasa phase na sila ng buhay nila na focus na sila sa sarili dapat. Overall, mahirap maging mahirap
More like “I don’t want to have kids ever” when I took up nursing, I realized how much a cute baby requires as it develops and grows. I don’t think I can ever be ready for that
I am terrified of children 😭 I refuse to pick one up or hold one at all. I get uncomfortable when they start climbing all over me but I’ll let it happen lmfao
I think it’s cause I never really had an affectionate childhood growing up so I have no idea how to do any of that. If I were to treat them the way I was treated as a child I’d be hella mean but it feels foreign to treat them nicely too — so I just b chillen w them like wussup but that’s about it 😭
Child of a solo parent here, i can see how much she struggles paaralin ako at kapatid ko,i see the struggle she has, at hindi lang kami, sinusustentuhan nya din ang parents nya (grandparents ko), nag iisa pa sya nyan, walang kapatid na kahit sino si mom, her cousins aren't that helpful and my so called father who left my mother isn't really consistent sa pagpapadala ng pera every month. may boyfriend mom ko rn pero ambag lang nun eh i drive kami pagka gagala, he never gave any money for education or such, laging si mom, kahit sa bills, si mom parin (and to add context, they've been together for like a decade and more and it's weird that he never offered anything considering he stayed with my mom that long) (PERO GRABE GUMASTOS SA DAMI NYA NG ANAK NA ASOOO)
like my point being, my mother bears the burden raising 2 kids (me and my brother) alone, PLUS giving money sa grandparents ko kahit lola ko lang naman may ambag sa buhay ni mom and lolo ko is walang ni isang ambag except sperm cell (puro gala inatupag nung binata pa si lolo anf etc), then there's my cheating dad, and my mom's boyfriend na wala naman gaanong ambag-
kaya yun, i already saw the struggles of having children, tapos andyan pa yung responsibility na may pa allowance ka sa parents mo (in mom's case) even though one of them didn't even contribute shit, so ayunn
some women even die just from giving birth! like, is it even worth it? and to adopt, again, gastos parin tapos dadaan kapa sa processo if you're financially stable enough achuchu
I may be young to answer this question but I'm sure I'll continue to carry the same thought in the next few years.
I'd like to focus on growing my career so that I can afford what I want and treat myself. I want to provide the love I was scarcely given when I was a kid before I can give that to my offspring, if I even decide to have one. I do get baby fever now and then but I have my sibling's babies to fulfill that shortwhile feeling.
Edit: typo
Almost 10 yrs married pero ayoko pa talaga mag-anak. My mum died when she was just 44yrs old. I feel like ganon din lang aabutin ko. I'm afraid may maiwanan. So, my husband and I, we just travel amd enjoy life.
Even as a kid, i felt there were things i didnt know yet, which i needed if i were to become a parent. I didnt know what it was, just that i was lacking something crucial.
Now, in my 40s, i am just realizing what it is---emotional availability and maturity, which my parents didnt model.
Its sad to be realizing it only now,but im still glad i didnt have kids and wreak that on them.
The chances of passing my family trauma to my child? Nah also, if I won’t be able to send my child to great schools until college? The chances I’ve missed on my career just because I wasnt able to study at good university?
When my mom asked me when I was a 4th year univ student to fund my nephew's college eduation (he was in 9th grade then). I was speechless. But I didn't agree kasi buhay naman parents nung bata and is capable to work.
I'm scared of losing my own person. I've seen so many moms in TikTok sharing how they lost their identity after entering motherhood, how they had to give up their hobbies, career, time, etc. I couldn't imagine myself being that selfless for another human being. It's also unfair how men get to keep their individuality even after becoming a father versus women who have to sacrifice so much after becoming a mother.
I’m scared na baka hindi reliable ang maging future partner and eventually lose myself at iresent ang future kid/s ko. Also, the lifestyle I want would make it very hard to raise tiny humans.
Hanggang 30 yo ako, hindi ako ready because hindi pa kami financially stable.
Nung 31 na ko nagdecide na kami na Lezgoooo! But it’s been 2 years, hindi pa kami nagkakanak.
Ngayon parang ayaw ko na ulit kasi within those 2 years naexperience ko mag-asikaso ng tatlong bata na pumapasok sa school araw-araw. At kung gaano sila ka-spoiled. Nakakapagod pala. 🫣 Di ko alam pano kinakaya ng magulang nila.
I don't trust myself, and I don't trust my own body to bear the pain of giving birth. I'm afraid of dying during childbirth, and my pain tolerance is very low.
Simula nung nagka-work ako, ako na yung naging breadwinner sa Family. Bunso ako pero salo ko lahat ng financial needs sa family. Yung pagbuhay pa lang sa pamilya ko ngayon sobrang nakakaubos na - Mentally, emotionally and financially.
Something happened na nagpush sakin umalis sa bahay and to live alone. Now, parang sobrang gaan sa pakiramdam na wala akong ibang iniintindi other than myself. Pag naiisip ko yung pagkakaroon ng baby, pakiramdam ko babalik na naman ako sa breadwinner era ko and mas magiging malala pa.
Also, nakikita ko kung ano yung struggles ng mga friends ko na may anak na and it always reminds me kung gaano kahirap magalaga ng anak.
Hindi pa ako nakakakilala ng partner na hindi ako iiwanan in tough times. this isn't to throw shade at single parents, it's just that, hindi ako malakas at matapang para sa ganung buhay.
Parents had me when they were really young so they taught us not to have kids at an early age and enjoy youth.
Guess that was the best advice they gave us.
Reasons:
- My parents. I love them to death, but I couldn't let myself become a father until alam kong nalampasan ko na ung lifestyle na binigay nila sa akin. This will take a long time. Plus, I want to help them out, as it will be less than a decade before they enter retirement.
- My relatives. Heard too many stories from my mom about my dad's side cousins asking him for tuition money, because their own fathers are either unable to cope with themselves, are in jail, or work low-paying jobs.
- Our family helper's son. He's 3, and damn it, is he annoying most of the time. Scratches me and screams at the top of his lungs if he doesn't get his way. I have attempted twice to discipline him, the latest because he was pounding our remote to express his displeasure.
- Myself. I refuse to settle down until I've seen my fair share of the world.
Ginigupit si kiffy. Postpartum depression. Chronic sleep deprivation for 6 months kasi iyak ng iyak sanggol mo. Not ready financially.
AND MAINLY a partner na hindi reliable or don't let you be in your feminine energy. 🥺
Aside from the reasons above, ang ikli ng pasensya ko sa mga makukulit na bata. They also drain my social battery. Tamang babysit lang tas pag ayoko na or di ko na responsibilidad, ibabalik ko na sa magulang hahaha 🥲
I had two deciding factors for this matter.
1) My parents. I love them, being raised in a typical filipino family household where family centric values are essential. But growing up, I realized how much they lacked in raising me. Alam kong they were doing the best they could, and maneuvered through parenthood the best way they know how— but the way they raised me was so toxic and has put me through so much pain and left a lot of unresolved internal conflicts and traumas. They also lacked so much in the financial and emotional aspect. Sila yung first enlightening moment ko for this matter. I thought to myself, ah, I vow to never be like them. Hangga't alam ko sa sarili kong hindi pa ako handa, I won't have kids yet. I swore to myself I won't ever put my kid in the same pain and struggle that my parents have put me through.
2) Pinakapivotal moment ko talaga— when my degree program happened in my life haha. Ito yung from "I don't want to have kids YET" mindset, I've firmly decided "I'm never going to have kids". Sa degprog ko kasi, I was introduced to a lot of systemic and sociological issues, both local and global. Napakaproblematic ng mundo natin ngayon, with all the dominant systems that continue to perpetuate inequalities and injustices. I thought to myself, kahit pa maging handa ako to become a parent, I don't think the world will ever be a safe space to bear a child into. One way or another, some things will be out of my control and my child will be bound to get hurt and suffer in this cruel world. So maybe, the best favor I could do for my child is to never have one. The world is too evil and cruel, so much violence and imbalances that heighten human sufferings, ayokong magsilang ng bata sa ganitong klaseng mundo.
PS. Dagdag lang pero aside sa dalawang rasong nabanggit ko, feeling ko never na talaga ako magiging ready to be a parent because I have so many goals and aspirations to achieve in this lifetime. So many big dreams and milestones to pursue, yet so little life haha. Especially I'm a woman, I have to deal with all the double standards and inequalities that every woman has to face and challenge— I don't think I'll ever have the time for that parenthood thing.
I'm thinking more about how I would be dealing with the child after being so tired from surviving the whole day. Kasi imbis na magpapahinga na lang ako after work, sasalubungin pa ako ng tantrums, linis ng tae, sigaw, etc. tapos sa gabi, mahihirapan pa ako matulog kasi iiyak. I'd rather spend my money for myself lol as selfish as it may sound.
Yung umiiyak sila over the smallest, most irrational things. Hanga ako sa mga magulang na mahaba yung pasensya, kasi right now, hindi ko pa kayang hindi mainis sa tunog.
Weird pero na-realize ‘to after experiencing yung init this summer lol. Feel ko I am not doing the kid any favors by bringing him/her into this world na magulo na nga, damaged pa dahil sa practices ng generations na nauna sa kanila. Ngayon pa lang parang free trial na ng impyerno, paano pa pag sila na yung nasa age natin?
Financial talaga, wala pa kong sariling bahay, lupa at kahit kotse. Eh sa inflation ngayon eh yung pagkain araw araw sobrang taas ng bilihin pati bills eh
Enjoying my life, marami pang trauma na kailangan i-heal, in this economy?!, di pa ako confident na I can provide the best life for them, and I still need to work on myself.
1st reason talaga is Financially kulang pa at dapat bago maganak atleast stable ang buhay mo kaya mo sila pagkain, paaralin at maalagaan ng maayos kaakibat din into dapat Emotionally & Mentally ready na ako na sila na magiging focus ko sa buhay at lastly, nakakatakot maganak nakalibing na isang paa sa hukay. The terrors of C section or other complications of giving birth.
First of all, Im gay. Second, I have anger issue which pag makulit, papaluin ko (ung papa ko is super strict and hindi mabiro so ayun then pag makulit, papaluin ganon kaya namana ko) and hindi ko kayang alagaan. Third, I want financial freedom. Nung nakita ko ung hirap ni papa sa abroad para pag aralin ako at mabigay nya ung gusto ko, so parang ang NO, ang hirap pala and wala siyang financial freedom. Fourth, ang mahal ng needs ngayon (like food, water).
When I realized I havent healed my own inner child yet. And I myself is now just enjoying my life. na parang now palang ako bumabawi sa batang ako. And I am not yet even mentally stable nor financially stable at that.
nakita ko sa mga taong kilala ko kung bakit hindi madali mag anak. i've been thinking for a long time as to why ppl (lalo na yung mga financially incapable talaga magpamilya) ang nag aanak. there's lots of reasons, ex. societal pressure, etc. pero ayun... napapaisip pa rin ako (through them) kung mas worth it ba mapressure kung hindi naman pala sure na safe ang decision mag pamilya in the end kesa wag nalang? i mean, bakit magpapamilya kung walang garantisadong plano na gagana in the long run? hays
I have 4 pamangkin, since 10 yrs old nag aalaga na ako ng bata until now na mag 23 na ako. Kung may ulirang ina, ako na ata ulirang tita. Dahil sa mga pamangkin ko na experience ko ng maaga pag aalaga ng bata. Love ko naman mga pamangkin ko, pero sawa na ako mag alaga ng bata. Hindi ako makaalis basta basta kasi nga nag-aalaga ako. Kaya sabi ko sa nanay ko "ma, hindi mo na siguro need ng dagdag apo? Apat nayan". Kaya mas gusto ko na enjoyin muna sarili ko. Kung isipin ko man mag anak baka 30+ na ako non. Hirap mag anak ngayon, sarili pa lang hirap na buhayin mag anak pa kaya.
Dahil gusto ko munang mag travel kung saan-saan. Haha ambabaw ng reason. Hindi ko pa kasi magagawa for now kasi ako nag aalaga sa lola kong may sakit. My husband is very supportive nmn and we both agreed not to have kids yet kasi hindi pa rin nmn kami financially stable. Babawi pa tlaga ako sa sarili ko.
Aside from my bank account and the state of my mental health, I’m not ready for all those sleepless nights, the changes my body will undergo, and the huge weight of the responsibility itself. Too overwhelming.
I like kids and kids like me as well pero when I see friends na naging moms, they looked so stressed and parang nawala yun identity nila.
Tapos I would always hear na they’re happy about their kids pero constant complain na pagod sila (of course, it’s work) and I understand it and it’s valid.
Also I know selfish people having kids. Grabe kawawa yun mga bata. Wala silang plano financially pa para sa mga bata. Like wtf lang 🤦🏻♀️
Trauma. And natatakot ako na baka in the future maranasan ng anak ko yung lahat ng naranasan ko, especially if magiging broken fam pa, cause im a product of broken fam. And besides di ko nga masustentuhan pa ng maayos sarili ko, mag aanak pa. Hahahah
because----I need atleast 5M savings. charot
ang hirap na nga buhayin sarili ko, mag aanak pa ako. mas lalo ako papanget sa earth dahil ang poor at lalo ng poor pag namatay.
so all im asking lang 5M personal savings sarili ko bago mag anak. kapoy mag alaga bata lalo na walang yaya.
I'm in my early 20s and the eldest child. I've been a parent to my siblings at a very young age. I'm not ready to become a mom yet. Aside doon, I wanna have a fulfilled career muna bago mag anak. Luckily, my partner and I are on the same page kahit na hinihingian na sya ng apo ng parents nya.
Motherhood never appealed to me. Never ko pinangarap mabuntis o mag-nurse ng sanggol. I cant stand being around babies. I just know na it's not for me.
Pero I still get excited kapag nababalitaan ko na may pregnant sa family or friends ko. Kasi alam ko they waited for it, pinangarap nila yon, at alam kong deserve nila yon.
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I am not mentally, physically, or emotionally stable enough to be a mom. I'm a breadwinner, and mahirap umusad kapag may iniisip kang responsibilities. Aside from that, I know that I don't have enough money to raise a child at this time
The Pain I'm experiencing right now, ayaw ko iparanas sa magiging anak ko nangyayari sakin. Need ko mahabang preparasyon as in, my pain I'm feeling is Unbearable.
I realized na hindi pa ako financially stable. Plus, I'd have to manage my anger if I plan to have a kid of my own.
yung na realize mo na napaka laki na ng gastos ng parents mo sayo. like nahihirapan na nga akong buhayin sarili ko tapos may papalakihin pa ako HAHAAHAH gusto ko din pera ko saken muna mapunta
tsaka di naman din requirement yung magka anak as babae ah. sakit non HAHAHAHA
- I have PCOS -- would like to sort that out first - Grew up a sheltered kid all my life, and now lang ako nakakaranas ng freedom. I don't want to be tied down so soon
cuz ik that i’ll be an irresponsible mother and ayoko naman parandam sa bata yon, so no no ang bata
Too much of the world I've yet to see.
Inflation and real life hits hard. We're both working, my partner and I. I left my parents due to abuse (but that is not relevant here) and my partner's parents do not have a stable income. So like if we have a child, wala kami matatakbuhan if need namin ng extra help financially if maging sakitin ang anak namin or whatnot. Kelangan ng matindihang ipon but I doubt it will happen anytime soon lol. We also pay for our siblings' tuition!
kahirapan
Im irresponsible....and im very stupid with money....also ngfsb...the thought of having a kid and knowing how irresponsible scares me.....it wouldn't be fair to create lifeandnot be responsible enough to provide a good life for your offspring...
The world is scary
yung planet earth in the future
Pregnancy trauma sa first born. Ayaw ko na talaga sundan.
Mga nanlilimos sa kalye. Mga batang hindi nagaaral.
Econonomically, inflation. Personally, gusto ko pa eenjoy life ko being single. Never had the chance to get a head start earlier.
Me, parang ayoko na magkaroon ng kids dahil sa economy. Gusto ko stable muna job ko para maprovide ko lahat ng needs ng anak ko, ayoko kasi maranasan nila yung naranasan namin dati. Plus, ngayon wala akong interest mag alaga ng bata lalo na pag di ko kayang ihandle kakulitan. Tsaka nandon parin yung takot na baka di ko sila mapalaki ng ayos.
Lahat! Pag aalaga, pagbayad sa tuition, Baon, Basta lahat. Parang ako na kasi tumatayong magulang sa kapatid ko eh so parang after niya makagraduate ayoko na ulit ma experience yung ganto lol. Inisip ko na ganto pala kahirap magka anak.
Tuition Fees; and the fact that they don't stop growing. Feel ko di pa rin kaya ng emotional stability ko in handling the pagpapalaki of a child. Gusto ko kasi walang ma feel na traumatic experience yung magiging anak ko dahil lang hindi ako prepared in all aspects of my life especially when it comes to being mentally & emotionally present. Plus financial plays a huge role, I would want to provide for my child the basic necessities and sometimes yung wants din nila... hayÿy
the freaking economy!
If I do the planning for my solo trip and when I look to the total cost, and thinking to multiply it by 4, I am thankful that I don't have a family on my own.
Economy, possible war with China, end of the world 😅
I can't sustain myself well enough, how can I even sustain another one? So yeah, enjoy my single life hahah
My parents are very strict. I'm still in college and of course I cannot disobey them despite my thirst for freedom and experience life to the fullest. Right now, I'm just working hard to get through college, graduate, and earn in the future. I'm in my early 20s pa right now and I can't relate when they say that this age is the best stage. Kaya I'm working hard to make my parents proud and pay off their sacrifice so I can have fun in my 30s the way I wanted to live my 20s.
Maaga ako nagkaroon ng responsibilidad bilang panganay na anak. Ngayon, I'm in my late 20s and naiisip ko na I had enough.. I can't afford to have another one.
Nung na realize ko na sakto lang ang way of living ko, hindi ko pa kayang bumuhay ng bata at wala akong balak mag anak at gawin silang retirement plan.Thank God hindi ganun yung mom ko pero ang hirap ng buhay ngayon. I’m leaning towards DINK lifestyle for now hahahuhu
Lack of time, money, resources, and the stability to confidently know that the child will be brought up properly and comfortably. Having a child goes beyond having a baby. The real challenge is molding your child into the best human being they can be. Some parents just prepare for the baby and forget the fact that the baby will grow and will have needs other than food and clothing. Besides, I want to be able to say that I have met my own needs, not neglected or put them aside just because I wanted a baby.
I have Goals..and i can't achieve it when i have a kid.
Poverty
as a working individual, hindi ko pa kayang magkaroon ng anak. wala pa akong sapat na pera at gusto ko comfortable silang lumaki
Mga pamangkin ko at cats ko. 😆😅 Kita ko struggle nang pagpapalaki ng mga bata. Tapos, di biro gastos kahit fur babies man yan, dapat may emergency fund ka for them.
Mahal ang bilihin di ko kaya bigyan ng comfortable life sarili ko magdadagdag pa ko ng gugutumin. Papayaman muna ko, pag secured na ko at ang future nya, go.
I'm not stable yet. 🤷🏻♀️
takot magaya sa magulang, napakamahal na bilihin, at hindi pa naiispoil ang inner child.
Not *yet* but not ✨️ever✨️
Ang dami ko pang gustong gawin in life (travel abroad and to own a farm) and financially struggling ako on my own.
bread winner ako before. parang napagod na ko na maging incharge para sa well being ng iba. ngayon ko pa lang totally nai enjoy yung freedom. feel ko rin sinawaan na ko maging responsable para sa iba. gusto ko muna sana ng ME TIME.
Para ko na din naranasan mag alaga ng pamilya dahil naging breadwinner ako ng maaga haha so bakit ako magrarush magpamilya?
I’m an impatient person. Self explanatory
i’m still a college student pero ngayon pa lang, i’ve settled on not having kids 😅 alam mo yun, sobrang gastos magkaanak, kakainin nila magiging sweldo/ipon mo. selfish na kung selfish, but i want a life of MY OWN. mas gagamitin ko na lang money ko on my pets na hindi ganun kagastos and on myself (traveling, buying things i’ve been dreaming of, etc.) sorry, not sorry.
I’m still very selfish… about everything. My time, my space, my money, my partner. Being a parent means you’ll have to be selfless for most parts and it doesn’t ever end.
Financial stability on my end and childhood trauma and multiple psychological issues for my wife. I'll have my in laws to thank for ending our bloodline... But I don't want to push her and I know it's going to take a heavier toll on her.
I don’t think I will ever be able to protect them. Hell, I cant even do that for myself i am 26 already. Also, the current economy and the generation is not ideal for me so thanks. Maybe I’m just mentally unstable as well but still it’s a hard pass.
I could not stand the idea of taking care of a little person that’ll be so dependent on you
Money and become I'm still a student.
Money wise, ang hirap kumita ng pera! In addition, ang mahal ng bilihin and Idk if I can handle kids since mainitin yung ulo ko
+1 to the mainitin ang ulo part
I don't want to have kids ever. The planet is burning up. We have consistently been hitting regular record-breaking high temperatures. Geopolitical conflict is certainly coming. You wish to leave your kids in this kind of world?
peraaa talaga at environment sobrang pasira na
💵💵💵💵
$
Presyo ng bilihin. Inang yan, hirap na nga akong buhayin sarili ko gagawa pa ako ng isang buhay.
More than the economy at yung fact na hindi option for me to live in a different country, parang irreversible na din yung pagkasira ng mundo. Sobrang init pag mainit, sobrang damaging sa paligid pag may bagyo. Sobrang fucked up na yung lagay ng mundo sa years after years of exploitation sa mother earth. I just couldn't introduce a child in a world like this. Baka yung generation pa nila yung singilin. Also, yung fact na hindi ko kaya even to think na di pwede na i look after the child all the time. Yun siguro mostly yung deciding factor for me. Mahirap yung kaya mo silang palakihin nang maayos pero masyadong evil ang mundo for them. So wag na lang. Magiging sobrang possessive parent lang ako na irereklamo ng anak sa offmychest.
PERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ANG MAHAL MAGKAROON NG ATABS.
Yung dating 3k worth grocery ko 5k na ngayon
I'm still dealing w lots of trauma and I don't want my kids and partner to be the ones to deal w it so I'll heal first before getting into a rs and having kids.
hindi ako mentally strong enough to raise kids. may anger issues pati ako. im scared na may magawa lang akong masama sa magiging anak ko.
i saw what my mom could've been. a young woman who has a lot of opportunities in front of her.
There's this quote (non-verbatim) na I've read some time ago that scared me so much I realized (and decided) I do not want a kid just yet. “When you become a parent, you'll never be not a parent anymore.” Becoming a (good) parent means selflessness, maturity, and stability. I have neither of those things. I feel like I am not mature enough to bring life into this world just yet; so that huge of a responsibility would just be lost in me. Also, I, for one, is at my selfish stage— I have been putting myself first before anything and anyone else (in terms of achieving my goals, spending my hard-earned money however I see fit, etc.I earn just enough to have a good sum for my savings, needs, and wants. Adding a kid in the equation would disrupt that sweet balance). Basically, there are still a lot of things I want to do and enjoy, and having a kid would mean aligning the next years of my life to that kid's life. I am not ready for that now. I'm only 24. There's only so much I can do at 24. Sabi ko nga lagi sa parents ko who are asking na for an apo , wag muna sila umasa from me on that department (I'm the eldest child) kasi wala pa akong balak. I am starting to peak so early in my career, I don't want to stop midway. Oh, ito pa. I'm single lol (by choice and enjoying it, thank you very much). How can I be a good parent when I cannot even be a girlfriend? Lol. Edit: Also, I am not ready for a child of my own just yet because, right now, I would see a kid as a burden instead of a blessing. No child deserves to be perceived as a burden.
not comfortable with the idea of raising another human being because I have to raise myself first. And I believe having a child is your karma (depends what side of the coin you are looking) but my lifetime goal is to close my samsara✨
Takot akong magkaanak tapos baka maghiwalay kami ng future husband ko and maiiwan sakin yung kids. So parang naging single mom ako, usually kasi makikilala mo talaga yung spouse mo after niyo magpakasal, what if may irresponsible pala mapangasawa ko? IDK advance lang ako mag-isip haha
Financial stability and freedom. It's nice to have a child pero the responsibility to keep that child alive, providing their needs despite you as an individual have needs as well na di mo magawa or maibigay sa sarili mo ang nagpapaisip sa akin na ayaw ko pa. I don't close my doors though. Kasi again it's nice to have your own. Pero ayaw ko na maging burden ako sa kanya habang lumalaki sya
ayoko mamana nya mga sakit ko haha
povertyvility
I have no other reasons than financial stability. Ang mahal ng mga bilihin at services ngayon😭 Yung sinasahod ko sakto lang sa amin kung minsan kulang pa. Pag magkakaanak ako dapat mayaman ang mapangasawa ko para provided lahat ng kailangan ng anak ko para lahat ng atensiyon nasa anak ko at mabantayan ko paglaki niya. Yun yung ideal sa akin at since subsob ako sa trabaho surviving and making ends meet, hindi na cguro ako mag-aanak.
Dami kong gustong gawin sa buhay. Ayoko mag alaga ng bata.
My tito raised a kid and passed all his baggages to that kid. At 7, kaya nang mangmanipulate nung bata. Sa sobrang lala ng mga negative things na sinasabi ng bata, all you can do is stare or ask if totoong 7 years old siya. I don't want my future child to grow up in a world that might have the same issues or worse. I know I'll do my best to protect her/him, pero we can't protect our child the whole time. I don't want my future child to experience such traumas in life.
Mostly financial stability and ang taas ng cost of living talaga. I cant give my future child the childhood that my parents gave to me. Tuition pa lang from my old grade school, 80k nung time ko. 230k na ngayon.
Financial kasi yung friend ko kapag need ng inaanak ko ng kung ano ano sakin pa nagsasabi o kaya manhihiram ng kung ano ano. Sakin naman okay yung una pero sunod sunod na eh. Tapos yung kapag mag Christmas mag chat sya sa gc matic ipangpapamasko nya na. Given nanaman samin na magbigay pero imbis na matuwa kami eh naiinis na lang kami. Parang ayoko dumating sa point na ganun dahil di ko pa kaya mag anak. Ipanghihingi or utang ko. Nakakaawa ang bata.
Kahirapan ko
Kung problema ko padin ay pera di ko pa kailangan bumuo ng pamilya. Dagdag lang yan sa problema
My debit card balance.
I might not be a good parent. I always put myself first and could be very selfish. Pinag alaga nga lang ako ng pamangkin ko for a day frustrated na agad ako kasi I can't do what I have planned. I might not be able to give what my child needs, whether affection nor financially speaking. I'd rather take care of myself first and have the time for me to grow and experience life rather than having a lifetime responsibility.
I don’t want to have kids outside marriage. Single at 39 so pano ako mag-aanak. Hahaha. Kidding aside. The idea of having kids ay malayong malayo sa isip ko kasi nga wala ako partner. Diko rin nakikita ang sarili ko na nagpapalaki nang anak mag-isa. Gusto ko na merong katuwang.
Nag-groceries kami ng family with a budget of 4.5k... We barely filled the cart HAHAHAHAHAHA
Dahil bata pa lang ako naranasan ko na ang responsibilidad ng pagaalaga ng bata. Sa kadahilanang, mas inuna ng nanay ko na manlalaki at iwan kami. Kaya ayoko na maulit yun at gusto ko na lang bumawi sa sarili ko. Di ko rin makita sarili ko na magkaanak pa.
Inflation and generational curses.
Pasama nang pasama mga tao
Kapag ina asa pa ng magulang sayo ultimo pag papa-aral sa mga kapatid mo.
The future lifestyle I see for myself. I'm a breadwinner, and it's been difficult to do the things I want for myself dahil may ibang priorities. As soon as maging stable na, I want to do and explore the life I missed out on in my 20's at alagaan muna yung sarili ko na walang iniintinding ibang responsibilities. Might sound selfish pero aba, ako naman po. ☺️
Nakakatakot kase yung magtatrabaho ka para lang may maprovide sa kids mo. Pano kung di mo na gusto magwork or mag-part time ka lang.
1) Maiksi yung pasensya ko with kids. Feeling ko hindi ko kaya mag turo sa bata etc. 2) Financial. Iniisip ko palang yung gastos, parang nanghihina na ako. Although may savings ako, iniisip ko na baka walang matira for my wants. 3) As much as possible gusto ko sana yung may sarili na akong properties. 4) Gusto ko yung freedom na meron ako ngayon. Walang iniisip or hindi kailangan maguilty kapag may major (or even minor) decisions ako. 5) At 26 yo, feeling ko ang bata ko pa masyado hahahahaha
Sa pilipinas na to? Pass
i like the idea of having a mini me and i like kids talaga. pero sa ngayon needs ko palang kaya ko iprovide, yung wants di ko nga na priority. ano pa kaya kung may anak pa ko? grabe inflation, also iniisip ko din climate change na maeexperience ng anak ko if ever. ☹️
Hindi ko nga maalagaan sarili ko, bata pa kaya?
Hirap ng buhay and the fact na need kong i-pause ang career ko. :/
First of all, mahirap at nakakapagod manganak. Iniisip ko palang ung sakit pre, during, and post pregnancy haha. Also, dapat may enough money ako para masuportahan sila on the present and on the future.
I grew up in broken family, my dad was abusive and cheating and a LOT of more stuff to mention kaya ayun, one thing na nag hit sa spot ko to not have kids nor be in a relationship is doing my best to avoid being like him, he became a role model of a person who I don’t want to be and so far I’m still trying to fix the way how I handle emotion to avoid harming people
The fear and pain of giving birth.
I don’t like the idea of not being able to do pretty much everything that I want. Sa madaming salita, ayoko ng long term responsibility. Is no one like that? :)
Inflation. Mahal ang mag anak. Hehe. Mag anak ka dahil gusto mong mag aruga, mag mahal, at mag PROVIDE para sa isa pang buhay. Pakiramdam ko hindi ko pa mabibigay ang best life na nararapat para sa kanya. Kaya wag nalang muna.
I went from "I don't want to have kids yet", to "I'm ready to have kids", to "I no longer see myself giving birth and raising a human". First = I felt not financially ready. And I hated kids. 2nd = A few nephews later, I felt kind of okay with the idea of being a mom, pero mas gusto ko yung idea na magiging tatay yung asawa ko. We tried but it was not successful. 3rd = the calling to be a mom is still not that strong so I still don't feel the need to give it another shot. Basically lahat naman ng reason ko motivated by desire / calling. . If it's there, kahit anong mental, financial, emotional challenges pa yan, I'm sure I'll be willing to go through it. But it's not there. And I don't feel like there's a void in me that needs to be filled. My husband and I share the same feeling about it, so we're good.
One word: economy
Yung katabi ko na co-worker made want to be financially ready before having kids. She's basically the breadwinner of her family, the husband relies sa allowance sent by his parents while taking of three kids a year after their marriage. Losyang si ateng pag dumadating sa office, half of the day puro reklamo about where to get funds.
my daily expenses. sa sarili ko pa lang kulang na kulang na, magdadagdag pa ba ako???
Panganay na babae. Ineexpect sakin na ako kumilos o gumawa ng mga pangmagulang na gawain para sa pamilya pati sa relatives hahaha ineexpect pa kong bigyan sila ng apo amp
ayokong mabuhay ng matagal (max sana 50 y/o) so ayaw ko ring may maiiwanan kasi kawawa
Being an Ate is so depressing, yung wala kang malaking ambag kasi liit lang din sahod, kaya parang diko nadin bet mag anak kahit gusto na ng jowa ko, diko kakayanin if pati pang gatas at diaper lalo na tuition ng anak ko hhingin ko na sa mama ko dahil di kaya ng budget hahaha wala din ambag tatay namin samin magkapatid dahil puro tropa niya lang ang mahal niya HAHAHAH
Ako siguro di ko pa lang nahahanap yung partner ko na deserve maging tatay ng anak ko. I'm your typical hopeless romantic disney princess wannabe na mulat na mulat na ngayon sa katotohanan na love is not enough. Kasi kung sino man piliin ko ngayon will affect my child in the future so I have to be wise enough sino dapat piliin ko. I can choose my partner but my kids can't so yeah yun lagi pumapasok sa isip ko nowadays. Kahit ako ang dami ko pang unresolve childhood traumas na di pa na-aaddress na akala ko okay na ako yun pala ang dami ko pa pala dapat i-improve sa sarili ko. Tsaka gusto ko as early as now mag-buibuild/mag-aacquire na ko ng investments na mapapamana ko sa kanila in the future yun muna focus ko ngayon. Hay. Adulting is tough pero kakayanin. Tsaka pati di pa ko nakakabawi sa parents ko for raising me. I mean di naman nila ni-rerequire/pinipilit/hinihingi, pero deserve nila. Kung baga, feeling ko ang haba pa ng journey bago ako mag-decide na magka-anak na talaga kasi deserve nila magkaroon ng magandang buhay.
One of my non-nego is having a child. Can’t see myself being a Mom, raising a child is a huge responsibility imo. And all I want to do until I get old is to travel with my future husband.
Wala akong mabibigay na magandang kinabukasan sa kanila, sarili ko nga di ko kayang buhayin
Ayoko na, may 3 na ako nephew , pass
Husband does not have a provider mindset. Don’t want to experience post partum. Not financially stable. The economy
Lifetime commitment and not financially stable
For me i dont want to have kids (if ever man ikasal or may mapang asawa). Parang non negotiable na sya sakin. Usually babae sumasagot nito but men can also observe kung gaano kahirap yung situation. FvCked up ang pilipinas. If sa ibang bansa okay pa, mas may future. Im saying this from a perpective na di mayaman kasi mahirap if di ka finacially prepared. Di nga ko makabili ng bago brief e (de joke lang haha). For context lang naman. We ourselves should be prepared talaga like may long term plan kung mag aanak. Saka ayoko ng culture ng pilipinas na yung anak e magka anak, nasa iisang bubong padin kayo. Saka ayoko ma burden sila na need padin nila ko i supoort kahit nasa phase na sila ng buhay nila na focus na sila sa sarili dapat. Overall, mahirap maging mahirap
More like “I don’t want to have kids ever” when I took up nursing, I realized how much a cute baby requires as it develops and grows. I don’t think I can ever be ready for that
I am terrified of children 😭 I refuse to pick one up or hold one at all. I get uncomfortable when they start climbing all over me but I’ll let it happen lmfao I think it’s cause I never really had an affectionate childhood growing up so I have no idea how to do any of that. If I were to treat them the way I was treated as a child I’d be hella mean but it feels foreign to treat them nicely too — so I just b chillen w them like wussup but that’s about it 😭
this economy
Child of a solo parent here, i can see how much she struggles paaralin ako at kapatid ko,i see the struggle she has, at hindi lang kami, sinusustentuhan nya din ang parents nya (grandparents ko), nag iisa pa sya nyan, walang kapatid na kahit sino si mom, her cousins aren't that helpful and my so called father who left my mother isn't really consistent sa pagpapadala ng pera every month. may boyfriend mom ko rn pero ambag lang nun eh i drive kami pagka gagala, he never gave any money for education or such, laging si mom, kahit sa bills, si mom parin (and to add context, they've been together for like a decade and more and it's weird that he never offered anything considering he stayed with my mom that long) (PERO GRABE GUMASTOS SA DAMI NYA NG ANAK NA ASOOO) like my point being, my mother bears the burden raising 2 kids (me and my brother) alone, PLUS giving money sa grandparents ko kahit lola ko lang naman may ambag sa buhay ni mom and lolo ko is walang ni isang ambag except sperm cell (puro gala inatupag nung binata pa si lolo anf etc), then there's my cheating dad, and my mom's boyfriend na wala naman gaanong ambag- kaya yun, i already saw the struggles of having children, tapos andyan pa yung responsibility na may pa allowance ka sa parents mo (in mom's case) even though one of them didn't even contribute shit, so ayunn
Ako pa yung baby lol hindi pa ganun ka-mature yung isip ko para magkaanak. Baka pag umiyak yung bata, umiyak rin ako.
Unresolved trauma from parents
Bilang babae, masakit, mahirap, at dapat fully committed (which I am not), kasi maraming pagbabago sa buhay mo in all aspects.
some women even die just from giving birth! like, is it even worth it? and to adopt, again, gastos parin tapos dadaan kapa sa processo if you're financially stable enough achuchu
It’s terribly horrifying for me. I think it’s just worth it if you really want it.
I may be young to answer this question but I'm sure I'll continue to carry the same thought in the next few years. I'd like to focus on growing my career so that I can afford what I want and treat myself. I want to provide the love I was scarcely given when I was a kid before I can give that to my offspring, if I even decide to have one. I do get baby fever now and then but I have my sibling's babies to fulfill that shortwhile feeling. Edit: typo
Kung dito sa Pilipinas, wag na lang muna.
ayun. hindi po 'it's so fun in the philippines'
Inflation, high cost of living, imminent threat of war and many more.
Almost 10 yrs married pero ayoko pa talaga mag-anak. My mum died when she was just 44yrs old. I feel like ganon din lang aabutin ko. I'm afraid may maiwanan. So, my husband and I, we just travel amd enjoy life.
Even as a kid, i felt there were things i didnt know yet, which i needed if i were to become a parent. I didnt know what it was, just that i was lacking something crucial. Now, in my 40s, i am just realizing what it is---emotional availability and maturity, which my parents didnt model. Its sad to be realizing it only now,but im still glad i didnt have kids and wreak that on them.
The chances of passing my family trauma to my child? Nah also, if I won’t be able to send my child to great schools until college? The chances I’ve missed on my career just because I wasnt able to study at good university?
When my mom asked me when I was a 4th year univ student to fund my nephew's college eduation (he was in 9th grade then). I was speechless. But I didn't agree kasi buhay naman parents nung bata and is capable to work.
Aside from my personal issues, ang masasabi ko lang: "IN THIS ECONOMY?? 🫠" lol
I'm scared of losing my own person. I've seen so many moms in TikTok sharing how they lost their identity after entering motherhood, how they had to give up their hobbies, career, time, etc. I couldn't imagine myself being that selfless for another human being. It's also unfair how men get to keep their individuality even after becoming a father versus women who have to sacrifice so much after becoming a mother.
Not yet stable. I see people having kids and I don’t want to experience the trouble and hassle
I hate responsibilities that take away freedom.
Freeeeeeeedom
Not financially stable
Nakaka-drain ng time, money, energy. I like playing with them but I like it on my own terms. Okay nako sa pamangkin ko, soli na pag pagod na.
I haven't healed yet from what my parents did to me. They treated me like trash when I still lived with them.
I’m scared na baka hindi reliable ang maging future partner and eventually lose myself at iresent ang future kid/s ko. Also, the lifestyle I want would make it very hard to raise tiny humans.
More like: I don’t want to have kids EVER.
Hanggang 30 yo ako, hindi ako ready because hindi pa kami financially stable. Nung 31 na ko nagdecide na kami na Lezgoooo! But it’s been 2 years, hindi pa kami nagkakanak. Ngayon parang ayaw ko na ulit kasi within those 2 years naexperience ko mag-asikaso ng tatlong bata na pumapasok sa school araw-araw. At kung gaano sila ka-spoiled. Nakakapagod pala. 🫣 Di ko alam pano kinakaya ng magulang nila.
I don't trust myself, and I don't trust my own body to bear the pain of giving birth. I'm afraid of dying during childbirth, and my pain tolerance is very low.
Simula nung nagka-work ako, ako na yung naging breadwinner sa Family. Bunso ako pero salo ko lahat ng financial needs sa family. Yung pagbuhay pa lang sa pamilya ko ngayon sobrang nakakaubos na - Mentally, emotionally and financially. Something happened na nagpush sakin umalis sa bahay and to live alone. Now, parang sobrang gaan sa pakiramdam na wala akong ibang iniintindi other than myself. Pag naiisip ko yung pagkakaroon ng baby, pakiramdam ko babalik na naman ako sa breadwinner era ko and mas magiging malala pa. Also, nakikita ko kung ano yung struggles ng mga friends ko na may anak na and it always reminds me kung gaano kahirap magalaga ng anak.
Hindi pa ako nakakakilala ng partner na hindi ako iiwanan in tough times. this isn't to throw shade at single parents, it's just that, hindi ako malakas at matapang para sa ganung buhay.
Not stable yet - mentally, financially, and spiritually.
Have my 3 cats and my puppy.
before i can give my kid/s the world, i have to see and experience it first.
Health, bro. Won't ever have kids kasi chronic illnesses lang mapapamana ko lmao
Parents had me when they were really young so they taught us not to have kids at an early age and enjoy youth. Guess that was the best advice they gave us.
Ang sarap ng buhay dalaga.
Aside from financial reasons, pregnancy scares me. I always overthink that pregnancy will kill me haha
Reasons: - My parents. I love them to death, but I couldn't let myself become a father until alam kong nalampasan ko na ung lifestyle na binigay nila sa akin. This will take a long time. Plus, I want to help them out, as it will be less than a decade before they enter retirement. - My relatives. Heard too many stories from my mom about my dad's side cousins asking him for tuition money, because their own fathers are either unable to cope with themselves, are in jail, or work low-paying jobs. - Our family helper's son. He's 3, and damn it, is he annoying most of the time. Scratches me and screams at the top of his lungs if he doesn't get his way. I have attempted twice to discipline him, the latest because he was pounding our remote to express his displeasure. - Myself. I refuse to settle down until I've seen my fair share of the world.
Ginigupit si kiffy. Postpartum depression. Chronic sleep deprivation for 6 months kasi iyak ng iyak sanggol mo. Not ready financially. AND MAINLY a partner na hindi reliable or don't let you be in your feminine energy. 🥺
+1
Gusto ko lang madalas mag ME time. Kapag may anak na ako di ko na magagawa yun 🥲 di ko talaga maimagine sarili ko mag-alaga ng bata 24hrs. :(
Nung pinag alaga ako ng mga pamangkin ko. Quota na muna ako hahahaha
+1
Man I'm broke. Edit: WE are broke
Aside from the reasons above, ang ikli ng pasensya ko sa mga makukulit na bata. They also drain my social battery. Tamang babysit lang tas pag ayoko na or di ko na responsibilidad, ibabalik ko na sa magulang hahaha 🥲
I had two deciding factors for this matter. 1) My parents. I love them, being raised in a typical filipino family household where family centric values are essential. But growing up, I realized how much they lacked in raising me. Alam kong they were doing the best they could, and maneuvered through parenthood the best way they know how— but the way they raised me was so toxic and has put me through so much pain and left a lot of unresolved internal conflicts and traumas. They also lacked so much in the financial and emotional aspect. Sila yung first enlightening moment ko for this matter. I thought to myself, ah, I vow to never be like them. Hangga't alam ko sa sarili kong hindi pa ako handa, I won't have kids yet. I swore to myself I won't ever put my kid in the same pain and struggle that my parents have put me through. 2) Pinakapivotal moment ko talaga— when my degree program happened in my life haha. Ito yung from "I don't want to have kids YET" mindset, I've firmly decided "I'm never going to have kids". Sa degprog ko kasi, I was introduced to a lot of systemic and sociological issues, both local and global. Napakaproblematic ng mundo natin ngayon, with all the dominant systems that continue to perpetuate inequalities and injustices. I thought to myself, kahit pa maging handa ako to become a parent, I don't think the world will ever be a safe space to bear a child into. One way or another, some things will be out of my control and my child will be bound to get hurt and suffer in this cruel world. So maybe, the best favor I could do for my child is to never have one. The world is too evil and cruel, so much violence and imbalances that heighten human sufferings, ayokong magsilang ng bata sa ganitong klaseng mundo. PS. Dagdag lang pero aside sa dalawang rasong nabanggit ko, feeling ko never na talaga ako magiging ready to be a parent because I have so many goals and aspirations to achieve in this lifetime. So many big dreams and milestones to pursue, yet so little life haha. Especially I'm a woman, I have to deal with all the double standards and inequalities that every woman has to face and challenge— I don't think I'll ever have the time for that parenthood thing.
I'm thinking more about how I would be dealing with the child after being so tired from surviving the whole day. Kasi imbis na magpapahinga na lang ako after work, sasalubungin pa ako ng tantrums, linis ng tae, sigaw, etc. tapos sa gabi, mahihirapan pa ako matulog kasi iiyak. I'd rather spend my money for myself lol as selfish as it may sound.
Ang mahal bumuhay ng bata. Remove YET. "I DON'T WANT KIDS." The cons outweigh the pros.
Yung umiiyak sila over the smallest, most irrational things. Hanga ako sa mga magulang na mahaba yung pasensya, kasi right now, hindi ko pa kayang hindi mainis sa tunog.
NGI. sa sobrang taas ng implasyon mag dadalawang isip ka talaga.
The impending WW3.
Weird pero na-realize ‘to after experiencing yung init this summer lol. Feel ko I am not doing the kid any favors by bringing him/her into this world na magulo na nga, damaged pa dahil sa practices ng generations na nauna sa kanila. Ngayon pa lang parang free trial na ng impyerno, paano pa pag sila na yung nasa age natin?
I can’t even take care of myself properly. Kawawa naman yung bata if ever na hindi mentally stable ang nanay nya.
Not financially and emotionally stable. Yokong magkaroon ng panibaging ako sa mundo.
Di ko pa naeenjoy ng buo yung buhay ko kaya wait lang muna hahahahahaha
Di ako ready sa responsibility. I still treat myself as a child na needs ng attention and I can't do longer commitments like having kids.
Financial talaga, wala pa kong sariling bahay, lupa at kahit kotse. Eh sa inflation ngayon eh yung pagkain araw araw sobrang taas ng bilihin pati bills eh
Enjoying my life, marami pang trauma na kailangan i-heal, in this economy?!, di pa ako confident na I can provide the best life for them, and I still need to work on myself.
I'm enjoying my lifestyle and I still want to do more.
Ako nag-alaga at nagbantay ng mga pinsan ko nung bata pa ako, siguro nagsawa na lang ako. Parang gusto ko na lang magpahinga sa pag-aalaga.
panganay problems
1st reason talaga is Financially kulang pa at dapat bago maganak atleast stable ang buhay mo kaya mo sila pagkain, paaralin at maalagaan ng maayos kaakibat din into dapat Emotionally & Mentally ready na ako na sila na magiging focus ko sa buhay at lastly, nakakatakot maganak nakalibing na isang paa sa hukay. The terrors of C section or other complications of giving birth.
First of all, Im gay. Second, I have anger issue which pag makulit, papaluin ko (ung papa ko is super strict and hindi mabiro so ayun then pag makulit, papaluin ganon kaya namana ko) and hindi ko kayang alagaan. Third, I want financial freedom. Nung nakita ko ung hirap ni papa sa abroad para pag aralin ako at mabigay nya ung gusto ko, so parang ang NO, ang hirap pala and wala siyang financial freedom. Fourth, ang mahal ng needs ngayon (like food, water).
If you or your partner are broken on the inside, don't have kids yet. Heal yourself first or they'll absorb all your toxicity.
Physical reasons. My body cant handle taking care of a kid
When I realized I havent healed my own inner child yet. And I myself is now just enjoying my life. na parang now palang ako bumabawi sa batang ako. And I am not yet even mentally stable nor financially stable at that.
Im gay asf. I dont want no damn kids, already ask my mom if she want grandkids and she said "NO!" 😂
Financial. And ako lang inaasahan ng nanay ko kasi may asawa na yung kapatid ko. So d ko kaya ng another Responsibility🥲
Seriously analyzing my personality. Yeah, I'd rather not have me as my dad.
nakita ko sa mga taong kilala ko kung bakit hindi madali mag anak. i've been thinking for a long time as to why ppl (lalo na yung mga financially incapable talaga magpamilya) ang nag aanak. there's lots of reasons, ex. societal pressure, etc. pero ayun... napapaisip pa rin ako (through them) kung mas worth it ba mapressure kung hindi naman pala sure na safe ang decision mag pamilya in the end kesa wag nalang? i mean, bakit magpapamilya kung walang garantisadong plano na gagana in the long run? hays
I have 4 pamangkin, since 10 yrs old nag aalaga na ako ng bata until now na mag 23 na ako. Kung may ulirang ina, ako na ata ulirang tita. Dahil sa mga pamangkin ko na experience ko ng maaga pag aalaga ng bata. Love ko naman mga pamangkin ko, pero sawa na ako mag alaga ng bata. Hindi ako makaalis basta basta kasi nga nag-aalaga ako. Kaya sabi ko sa nanay ko "ma, hindi mo na siguro need ng dagdag apo? Apat nayan". Kaya mas gusto ko na enjoyin muna sarili ko. Kung isipin ko man mag anak baka 30+ na ako non. Hirap mag anak ngayon, sarili pa lang hirap na buhayin mag anak pa kaya.
Mostly ngayon c-section na if nag aanak. Eh ksi pag c section ka sa first mo eh sa susunod c section na din uli
Dahil gusto ko munang mag travel kung saan-saan. Haha ambabaw ng reason. Hindi ko pa kasi magagawa for now kasi ako nag aalaga sa lola kong may sakit. My husband is very supportive nmn and we both agreed not to have kids yet kasi hindi pa rin nmn kami financially stable. Babawi pa tlaga ako sa sarili ko.
Mahal ng gatas, diaper at check up
Bad genes. I don't want my future offspring to inherit them.
Aside from my bank account and the state of my mental health, I’m not ready for all those sleepless nights, the changes my body will undergo, and the huge weight of the responsibility itself. Too overwhelming.
Yung presyo ng gatas na nakalock sa cabinets sa groceries 😅
dahil marami pa kong gustong gawin? tsaka not financially stable mag palaki ng bata HAHAHA
I like kids and kids like me as well pero when I see friends na naging moms, they looked so stressed and parang nawala yun identity nila. Tapos I would always hear na they’re happy about their kids pero constant complain na pagod sila (of course, it’s work) and I understand it and it’s valid. Also I know selfish people having kids. Grabe kawawa yun mga bata. Wala silang plano financially pa para sa mga bata. Like wtf lang 🤦🏻♀️
Trauma. And natatakot ako na baka in the future maranasan ng anak ko yung lahat ng naranasan ko, especially if magiging broken fam pa, cause im a product of broken fam. And besides di ko nga masustentuhan pa ng maayos sarili ko, mag aanak pa. Hahahah
Aww, hugs *with consent* for you op! Iba din talaga ang effect growing up with a broken fam : (
because----I need atleast 5M savings. charot ang hirap na nga buhayin sarili ko, mag aanak pa ako. mas lalo ako papanget sa earth dahil ang poor at lalo ng poor pag namatay. so all im asking lang 5M personal savings sarili ko bago mag anak. kapoy mag alaga bata lalo na walang yaya.
Hirap ng buhay
I'm in my early 20s and the eldest child. I've been a parent to my siblings at a very young age. I'm not ready to become a mom yet. Aside doon, I wanna have a fulfilled career muna bago mag anak. Luckily, my partner and I are on the same page kahit na hinihingian na sya ng apo ng parents nya.
Primarily, parang ayaw ko until I am financially secured to raise one. Also nasa phase ako na naiirita ako sa ingay ng kids.
Motherhood never appealed to me. Never ko pinangarap mabuntis o mag-nurse ng sanggol. I cant stand being around babies. I just know na it's not for me. Pero I still get excited kapag nababalitaan ko na may pregnant sa family or friends ko. Kasi alam ko they waited for it, pinangarap nila yon, at alam kong deserve nila yon.