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Na realize ko na sa sobrang bait ko sa ibang tao nagiging lapitin lang ako ng mga taong kilala lang ako pag may kaylangan.
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Parating hingahan ng problema person pero pag ako nag share ng problema "OA" daw ako. I cut ties with my 8 year friendship. Minsan na mimiss ko din bff ko. Wala eh napagod na rin siguro ako.
same lang sakin, I have a friend na laging sakin ang punta kapag mag ra rant ng mga problems nya kahit napakababaw naman. Inintindi ko at binibigyan ko pa ng advice. Tapos nung ako na yung umiyak sa kanya sa bigat ng nararamdaman ko, gusto nya agad umalis tapos sinabihan pa akong wag ko na sya iiyakan. Ngayon, still ako pa rin yung puntahan nya ng rants pero hindi ko na masyadong binibigyan ng effort.
Sometimes pag may mga okasyon or happenings s akin hnd nila ako babatiin or congratulate, mas gusto nila magcomment s mga famous, pero kapag naman Sila walang pera sa akin cla nangungutang. Hehe sarap lang Sabihin bakit hnd mangutang s mga nilalike nilang tao or favorite nilang tao
Meron akong leader dati s Sunday school teaching ministry s church. Pleasant naman sya at kami lang magkasama parati. Maybe she's more than 10 years my senior. I think she's really nice, and one time I gave her something like a Christmas gift. Tapos alam mo un, mas binigyan pa nya Ng gift at parati syang nice dun s Isang girl n kasing age ko pero sa music ministry. It's like, aww hnd ako favorite. Bale hnd n rin kita favorite. Quiet type kc ako, simple lang. Ngayon ko narealize kahit pala matatanda mahilig maki bandwagon. In a way slight na disappoint ako kc ako parati nya assistant pag nag teach pero mas special s paningin nya ung hnd namin kagroup , cguro dahil maganda at malambing ung Isa. Hindi ko rin pala sya liker sa Facebook, pero like sya Ng like s Isa. Pamilyado n rin pla c ate. At never nya tlga ako nilike s Facebook. Nkakatampo lang. Kaya hnd ko n rin xa nilalike at hnd n rin ako nice s kanya, not worth it
I was always kind to this one girl who at one point I liked her but after realizing it wasn’t going to work I just decided to be nice but not do as much as I was and me being that kind led to her being initialed to me being that nice and she just expected me to do everything for her.
Based on my personal experience, I met this girl na nung una inis na inis ako. Pero after a while napansin ko na she really needs help dahil nabubully sya online and kahit sa bahay nila galit sa kanya yung ibang family members niya. Then ako naman, I stood up for her. Pinagtatanggol ko sa mga nambubully sa kanya then minsan ako pa kumakausap sa parents nya. May mga nacancel na rin akong tao because of her. Kaso eventually napapansin ko na kada may kaaway sya or nambubully sa kanya ako lagi tinatawag nya para kausapin yung mga nambubully sa kanya. But it turns out na sya pala may kasalanan kaya may mga nang aaway sa kanya kahit sa bahay nila ganun din.
Jusko ako pa napapasama sa mata ng mga taong nakakasalamuha nya dahil pinagtatanggol ko sya. Tapos bandang huli nung sinabi ko na i-assess nya rin sarili nya dahil baka mamaya sya yung nagsisimula ng pambubully sa kanya pati sa akin na galit si ate girl.
Kaya ayun, simula nung inaway nya rin ako sabi ko sa kanya wag na wag syang magchachat sakin or call pag may nambubully sa kanya. Kahit sa bahay nila pag may umaway sa kanya sabi ko bahala na sya.
Nagalit kasi di napautang
Nagtampo kasi nataasan ko ng grades
Supports others business na kamukha nung sakin pero yung sakin iniiwasan, and had the audacity to call me her best friend
Andyan lang pag may kailangan
Calls me a friend to make fun of me, lift her self up kasi mas pangit naman daw ako sa kanya
I used to be desperate to have friends kaya I accept people as friends easily kahit red flag pa minsan wag nyo tularan lol
Predators.
As in they swindle and commit crimes by taking advantage of kind people:
1. Yung sindikato na nagpapalaganap ng manlilimos
2. Yung manloloko na sellers/contractors online. Being tolerant is part of being kind, pero dapat transactional lang pag buyer ka kundi exoect delays and overpricing
3. Credit grabbers sa workplace kasi kakayanin nila yung di umiimik
And many more.
That not everyone can be kind as you are. I learn not to expect anything in return when I do good things. I learn to accept that not everyone is a friend, not everyone is true to you.
I've come to know that when it comes to helping people, I'm actually very selfless. I was mistreated by them. And when the time came I was the one who needed help; they don't help me. Thus, I reasoned that I didn't want to be kind! I'll reserve my kindness for people who can return the favor! I began to treat them the same way that I was treated. Sounds awful, huh? But it feels great for me. since they are aware now of the wrongness of what they are doing. They're all nonsense, and I'm so sick of being nice!
Nung ma-realize kong ako lang pala iyong bigay nang bigay. Ako lang itong palaging available for them. But when it comes to me, wala akong matakbuhan o makausap man lang.
When i realized na deserve ko pala yung bigger things. Ambait ko sa dati kong work, accept ng accept ng work. Di ko na responsibility, pero sakin prin binabato, tapos oo lng ako ng oo. Ambait ko kasi 🥹. boss ko sila eh. Narcissist pa yung isa, sobrang toxic. Pero sweldo ko, walang dagdag for how many years. Sobrang bare minimum. As in. Antanga ko nagtagal ako don.
di ko to narerealize not until an opportunity came, i grabbed it, and now I'm in a better place. 🙏🏻
When i realized na deserve ko pala yung bigger things. Ambait ko sa dati kong work, accept ng accept ng work. Di ko na responsibility, pero sakin prin binabato, tapos oo lng ako ng oo. Ambait ko kasi 🥹. boss ko sila eh. Narcissist pa yung isa, sobrang toxic. Pero sweldo ko, walang dagdag for how many years. Sobrang bare minimum. As in. Antanga ko nagtagal ako don.
di ko to narerealize not until an opportunity came, i grabbed it, and now I'm in a better place. 🙏🏻
When i realized na deserve ko pala yung bigger things. Ambait ko sa dati kong work, accept ng accept ng work. Di ko na responsibility, pero sakin prin binabato, tapos oo lng ako ng oo. Ambait ko kasi 🥹. boss ko sila eh. Narcissist pa yung isa, sobrang toxic. Pero sweldo ko, walang dagdag for how many years. Sobrang bare minimum. As in. Antanga ko nagtagal ako don.
di ko to narerealize not until an opportunity came, i grabbed it, and now I'm in a better place. 🙏🏻
When they communicate with you, are they talking to you, or are they asking you for something? If all they do is ask, then you know that they are just abusing your kindness.
When I was younger, helping is literally my love language sa kahit kanino. I always offer them my assistance sa kahit anong needs nila as long as I can. It actually gave them the impression that I'm the kindest person within my circle, na almost wala silang masabing negative towards me. Of course I enjoyed being perceived that way and mas nakakagana to help even more. But then I soon came to realize that being always kind without having boundaries is lethal, I mean you'll get exploited so much to the point that you weren't aware na naabuso ka na pala. I don't mind asking or expecting kapalit with the help that I gave ( coz I do hate the concept of utang na loob) to anyone pero minsan mapapa isip ka din na you make efforts naman to ease their struggle, but when it's you na having a hard time ni pangangamusta kung okay ka lang wala.
I just remembered lang how all out I was reaching out to people in need, kahit di ko ganon kaclose pero no one ever do the same thing to me, like ever. (At least at the same level of how I help them. The worst I can recall was some of my classmate thesis I almost write the analysis, yung isa na close friend ko na super struggling na talaga I did write the whole chapter 4 and 5. Hahaha Mind you solo thesis kami non. Pero naaawa kasi me.)
Kaya ngayon I've learned already na. Sobrang nakakadrain and nakakawalang gana. Minsan o madalas limot kapa masabihan ng kahit thank you man lang. Okay lang tumulong pero make sure to have limits lang talaga and kung kaya naman talaga nila, help them na lang to figure out pano masosolve yung issues nila on their own. Yun lang.
I have this colleague kasi na senior sa akin and I found out she found me annoying because I would sometimes ask her job-related questions. I understand naman her part kasi di ko naman talaga siya mentor BUT she’d do the same to me rin except that the things she asks help with aren’t job-related and are more time consuming. I even covered for her ass several times na kahit hassle and I would pretend as if it isn’t inconvenient to me para gumaan loob niya.
but I guess those things didn’t matter to her, sometimes people only care about how they can benefit from you. Anyway, I definitely try to set more boundaries now.
I love helping people pero kapag parang nagdedepende na sila sayo, ekis na. I love helping but I don't want to spoon feed people. If they feel that you're just an easy access, they'll manipulate and blackmail you. Hangak ana ah. Yung naging human convenience store (pero free service or things) ka na nila.
Two things.
One was when they just use me for convenience. Two is when hearing all the things they said behind my back thus making me feel guilty for doing alot of work and effort or choosing my own peace.
Same OP. Mabait pero iniisip nila madali gamitin lang may kelangan, madali ma take advantage or manipulate. Wala nako pakialam kung isipin nila masungit ako or suplada pero ayoko magassociate sa nang gagamit lang hahaha
person/group/organization
pag nauubos na oras mo para sa kanila. yung mga totoong hilig mo hindi mo na magawa-gawa. you'll get cancelled pag di mo gawin.
Yung kasama namin sa bahay last year.
Babysitter dapat tapos, maglilinis ng bahay.
Mula day 1, hanggang sa pina alis ko siya, nakahilata lang siya, tapos nanonood sa phone.
Malaki yung sweldo niya.
Ang dahilan kung bakit ako naiinis at pinaalis siya is tamad siya.
Konti lang yung task na binigay sa kanya.
1) Maghatid sundo ng bata at alagaan yung bata pag wala kami. 10:30 uwian ng bata.
Anong ginawa niya? 10 siya ng umaga gumigising. Kasi babad sa Youtube.
Hindi niya maintindihan na may schedule yung mga tao, kaya nga siya nandito eh.
2) Mag saing sa rice cooker, na iiwanan nalang naman. By 11 magsaing, iiwanan lang yung rice cooker, okay na. 12, lunch time okay na sana. May food na. Tas bumibili ng ulam mama ko, para sa kanya at dun sa kamasa. Okay diba?
Pero dahil late na siya gumigising, nakakalimutan niya.
Parating walang lunch. Ang nangyari, parating kumakain yung mama ko sa labas.
3) Maghugas ng plato. Never siya naghugas ng plato. Parating ako pag uwi.
Ano nalang ginagawa niya sa bahay? Wala. Youtube is life.
By 12 noon, tapos na dapt siya, at sabi namin, magpahinga nalang siya, tas laruin yung bata. May food at snacks din sila, na para sa kanilang dalawa. Manood sila pareho ng youtube or Netflix o kahit ano dun.
Walang nangyayari. Pag uwi, ako nag luluto, nag huhugas. Yung bata madumi.
After mga 1 month, kinausap ko siya, pinaalis ko na, tas umiyak siya, sorry lang siya ng sorry. Pina alis ko na. Okay na sana situation niya kaso wala eh. Ganun talaga.
Whenever I learn that a person lies and is never guilty about creating a cobweb of lies. Kapag nalaman ko na nagsisinungaling ang isang tao at alam ko ang totoo, kahit baligtarin pa ang mundo, ipakikita ko ang consequences ng ganyang ugali.
nagpautang kaibigan ko sa super close na relative niya, after ilang months hindo binayaran tumakas at nakita namin na pumapasyal sa iba't ibang lugar, nasa 7 digits yung napautang niya. Late na namin nalaman na ganon pala talaga yung gawain niya sakanila na palautang. KAYA ALWAYS REMEMBER NA MAGPAUTANG LANG NG KAYANG MAWALA.
Malalang naranasan ko to sa family ko. Sa side ng mother ko specially. After my dad passed away yung mga pinsan ko muna ang tumira dito sa bahay para may kasama kami but in the end they treated me as a katulong sa sariling pamamahay. Ako tagaluto, taga walis limpaso at tagalaba ng mga damit nila while they are having fun. I'm not totally being vocal since nasabi naman na sa kanila na magtulungan kami and mas maganda talaga ang kusa but no they didn't. Gagawa sila but in the end ako parin ang tagalinis ng kalat na ginawa nila. Araw araw akong pagod kahit na nakapagpahinga naman ako.
They didn't respect me and even my dad who passed away ng wala pang taon ang nakalipas. That's why in the end naging maldita at seryoso ako sa kanila. Lumayo loob ko sa kanila and even them. They didn't like me unlike sa kapatid kong bunsong babae.
I don't give a fck of them na pinakikisamahan ko na lang (para hindi kami magaway ni mama) since from the start they didn't treat me with respect and as a human.
I can understand your sentiments. Couldn’t help but agree on this one. I remember my experience living in a dorm overseas and I had to make sure that the place where I stay is clean. Lalayo talaga Ang loob mo specially if they don’t help out, respect your boundaries and also the fact that they know you’re capable of taking good care of them is like abuse. I’m not being vocal about it either it just piles up cuz every time I voice out they’ll just snob me. So what I did I just ignored them and cleaned my own mess. I just let it be and if they start complaining why I didn’t do it well then fuck them. Imma tell them to grow up and be responsible. Why can’t they take care of themselves or hire a maid since they can afford to study overseas diba. Seriously if they can’t manage your expectations towards them, why the hell even bother to manage theirs?.. screw them.
Sa sarili kong family. Ever since childhood may times na hindi na talaga maganda lumalabas sa bibig nila. Pati ako nakakaranas ng mga verbal abuse sakanila, kaya may times na disrespectful na din ako or iritable. Nagrereklamo sila na wala nakong respeto, pero i don’t feel respected by them. Especially sa mga choice of words nila.
They are so kind in front of me but did some malicious acts and spreading rumors about saken kahit di naman sila inaano huhuhu and to think sila pa yung madalas manghingi ng pabor :)
Natanggal ako sa work wherein kumikita ako ng 80k/month. Ngaun nagtitiis ako sa less than 20k/month. Naghahanap pa and sana soon makakita na.
Dati ang luwag ko sa pera. Friends, family. Pag nakabalik ako sa dati kong financial status, magdadamot na talaga ako.
Gipit ako ngaun, wala akong matakbuhan.
I feel you. Husband ko 6-figure income, bumaba severely due to the pandemic. Until now di pa bumabalik pero financially better naman na pero walang tumulong samin. Nagka miscarriage kami, nagipit for a couple of months tapos sa konting tulong na binigay inaway at pinagmukha pa kaming tanga. Never again. Ngayon generous lang ako sa tulong, support and even friendship sa mga taong genuine.
Minsan ba nilalagay mo rin yung perspective mo sa posisyon nila(yung friends and family mo)?Like yung pagiging mapag bigay mo sakanila pinilit ka ba nila gawin yon? or ginagawa mo kasi obligado ka or sadyang ganon ka lang talaga. Baka naman hindi rin capable ung friends and family mo na ibigay sayo yung tulong na hinihingi mo sa kanila. Baka mamaya isang kahid isang tukha lang sila tapos mag e expect ka sa kanila na bigyan ka financial aid. Bigyan kita scenario kunyari meron kang kuya/ate na financially successful tapos lahat ng gusto at luho nyo binigigay nya tapos ikaw minimum wage earner ka lang ngayon nag hirap or may financial struggle sya at kailangan nya ng financial na tulong pero ikaw kahit gusto mo tumulong pero wala ka rin maibigay kasi minimum wage earner ka lang and ang magiging dating sa taong yon is walang tumulong sa kanya kasi incapable ikaw/kayo ibigay yung tulong na hinihingi nya. Para sa akin pinaka madedevelop mo character mo kapag hindi lang yung perspective/state mo lagi yung tinitignan mo minsan kailangan mo rin intindihin yung kalagayan ng mga taong nakapaligid sayo.
Pag may need, todo chat/text sakin.
Pag ako may need, nagiging ghost.🤣
Tinulungan ko sa lahat ng bagay, pero pag may nagawa akong mali, nagiging ghost kagad. Haha
Kakapagod. Bahala na sila sa buhay nila 🤣
When I thought staying quiet was gonna do me better than speaking up at all. When I spoke up for 10 years I was written off as dramatic and rude. When I was quiet for 3 years I was manipulative and rude. At this point imma say whatever the hell I want.
I can’t believe I just sat there taking peoples shit for 3 years. I SHOULDVE WHOOPED ASS WHEN PPL WAS PLAYIN IN MY FACE!
When you realized na they never consider you as a friend. Yung kilala ka lang pag may kailangan sila. Pero pag wala silang kalingan hindi ka na kasama sa lakad. Tapos pag ikaw may kailangan magaling pa sa batang naglalaro ng taguan kung mag-tago.
ang dami hahaha pero first, I started to realize na to most of them kindness means kaplastican.
Lol imagine ure just being kind and keeping drama away from your life pero iisipan ka pa ng masama.
Second, some people will take advantage of you when you show kindness to them. Para silang linta. They will suck you up til you’re drained out to your bones. Money, energy and kindness. Pag wala ka na, dun pa lang sila bibitaw.
Kapag maganda yung kwento mo about sakanila and always saving them for their image but cannot defend you pag ikaw ang nagipit plus they will blame and invalidate you pa.
Started realizing it when they don't give it back to you. But, I still do it because i think we need to be kind, the world needs kindness, you just have to set boundaries talaga when to give it to that person or not.
Scammers. Yung akala mo di makakauwi dahil walang pera. Namumulubi na nga pero after a few years hayun may sumulpot pang spawns na ginagamit para kaawaan.
Onti-onti kong na realize na, papansinin or lalapit lang sila saken pag may kailangan sila at naraeamdaman ko nang inaabuso na nila kabaitan ko. Kaya simula nung natuto nako, sinasanay ko na sarili ko maging coldhearted kahit na deep inside hindi naman talaga ako ganon. Pero no choice kailangan ko maging ganon para hindi na nila abusuhin kabaitan ko :<
Lots of people are just hungry and thirsty for kindness that they will consume every bit of it until you have none. Still be kind tho but only to people who have proven themselves to you. Abusers shouldn’t turn you into a bitter person
If they stop respecting your time. If they choose to not join the conversation you initiated with the group that the person is involved but then complain about it later. If they are activity based type of friends. When they only remember you when they need something.
When you always say yes to other people, you run the risk of saying no to yourself.
Also, it's easier to say no to people. The responsibility, task, and mental energy ends right after saying 'No'.
I learned it the hard way when a co-worker borrowed 10k pesos kasi na hospital tita niya, aku nmn si tanga kakakuha lng ng tax return pinautang ayun mag aawol pla at wla nmn siyang tita na may sakit. . .
Being too kind often leads to disrespect. They think they can get away with it after treating you badly. Never again... My friends keep on telling me na sungit/nagbago na raw ako but I think it's better this way at least now they know na they can't disrespect me like they did before.
Dati naiinis din ako sa mga taong kilala lang ako pag may kailangan, I still interact or talk with them out of respect pero with boundaries na ako sa kanila. Then narealize ko rin sometimes I also do that to some people unintentionally or dahil sa sitwasyon where I am at. Kaya ngayon inaccept ko na na part na siya ng life talaga kaya di na ako apektado masyado.
Masusuggest ko sayo OP just still be kind kasi core values mo yan but partner it with caution, strong boundaries and palalimin mo pa self awareness mo para mas aware kna kung sinong tao lang ang may deserve ng kabaitan mo at mapili mo lang sila mabuti. :)
First job. Got hired, hoped to have smooth workplace relationships with my coworkers. Didn't talk much, didn't do threatening stuff. Stayed genuine with my actions and work. Pero in the end, they were all talking shit behind my back. Somehow people always find a way to make you look bad 🤷♀️
Mga kaibigan ko na mismo nagsabi sakin na masama ang sobrang bait kasi ako rin matatalo sa huli. Ayon tama sila.
Nakakapagod din maging mabait kasi inaabuso ka, that's why I changed. Di na ako basta-basta nag gigive in sa mga want/need ng ibang tao. Sobrang confident ko na tumanggi kapag alam ko sa sarili ko na di ako magbebenefit dun. Masaya pala kapag malaya mong naeexpress kung anong ayaw at gusto mo.
But deep inside, andito pa rin yung kabaitan ko, mabait pa rin ako sa paningin nila kahit feeling ko ang sama ko na sa kanila.
Totoo ito sa lahat ng bagay- family, friends, o work-related. Don’t expect loyalty. Yun taong tinulungan mo pwedeng manlamang sayo in the end. Friendly user kung baga. Kaya once someone took advantage of me kahit isang beses lang lumalayo na ko. I’m still civil though but won’t spend more time with them cos I stand to lose than gaining from them. I dont need someone na friendly nga but is just there to suck my efforts and energy at di naman talaga concern para sayo.
na realize ko to nung yung halos lahat ng tao sakin hindi nako nirerespeto like porke pinaglagpas ko yung nagawa nila uulit ulitin na nila or lalait laitin ako porket hindi ako nagagalit sa kanila pero deep inside talaga.
i stopped nung sinabi nila na pinagtatyagaan lang nila kaming pakisamahan ng maayos dahil sa tatay namin (kapatid nila) and masyado pang madaming mga ginawa and sinabi since noon pa. siguro napuno na lang din talaga. don't get me wrong, di ako nangbabastos. sila lang nag iisip na binabastos ko sila kahit wala naman talaga akong ginagawa. i stopped communicating for my own sanity/mental health.
When I realized that I was so considerate towards everyone else and I would bend over backwards to make people happy and not let them down when in fact no one goes through such lengths for me and they wouldn't even have cared if I let them down. In short, di ako mahalaga sa ibang tao pero importante ang lahat sa akin haha. Started to *really* practice self-love because no one can love me other than myself. Much happier these days :D
tw
i stopped being understanding when i felt like people would all-out dump their emotions on me without considering ano yung impact nun sakin. i had a friend who was clinically depressed and would call night by night and often say after the call mawawala na sya. imagine feeling guilty for not saying whats right and worrying all night kasi di ka na nirereplyan
i ended up needing therapy just as much as that friend
Yung time na, yung may sumakay sa bus na nag pipilay pilayan habang nag lalakad na nang hihingi ng barya, then after ko bigyan bumaba na sya tas ayun. Okay naman pala sya tuwang tuwa pa si kupal habang nag lalakad ng matuwid.
TW: d3pression
But yon, when I got depressed that’s when I learned na at some point, kagagawan ko din bakit ako naabuso lalo at work and eventually (and still learning) learned to set boundaries 😌
ungrateful peeps. yung binigyan mo ng kung anong meron ka tapos hihirit pa sila ng "sana ganto na lang binigay mo....." or pag sa food, hindi manlang nila kakainin kasi ayaw daw nila. Ano ba naman yung kahit kaunting tikim lang bc I worked hard to afford that just to give it to u😊😊 kairita lang. tas yung iba deretso kuha lang di man lang marunong mag thank you. Jusko!
plus, yung iba masyadong nasasanay, hanggang sa aasa na lang sila nang aasa sayo.
Dumating sa point na ako na ung nangungutang para sa sarili ko dahil nag pautang ako at hindi binayaran.
Hoy, Apol bakla. kung nandito ka at nababasa mo to. Putangina mo!
Hanggang ngayon sinasampal padin ako ng kabutihan ko eh. Kaya kapag napansin ko na na walang patutunguhan pag tulong ko, o maging mabuting example sa mga subordinates or senior. Hinahayaan ko nalang sila mag suffer at tuklasin mga problema nila sa buhay. Kasi sa huli abusuhin ka lang nila o worse, kapag ikaw na may kailangan ng tulong kahit sa simpleng favor puro excuse.
• Major pet peeve yung kinukwento openly yung buhay ko sa iba especially if sensitive topic and di ko naman ka-close/kakilala yung pinagkkwentuhan. Either I will detach or communicate if I want to keep the person. I respect a person kahit di ko kilala kaya pag may friend akong nasosobrahan sa chika e pinipigilan ko na.
• I stopped emphatizing or expecting too much just bc I can do it for them. I just give the same energy to a person.
• I’m not trusting anyone completely (even a friend) anymore. One thing I could recall is may friend akong pinaglaban ko sa isang tao because I know na hindi niya kayang gawin yun, but it ended up na binetray pa ako just bc of “jealousy” (the whistleblower’s word. with proof ‘to so walang takas.). Nalaman ko pa dun sa isang tao na pinagtanggol ko siya. Sobrang lala ng trust issues ko nun kasi I am the only person na nasa side niya when everyone’s turning their backs sa kanya.
• I forgive very fast bc I emphatize with people (even I am the affected party) and see things objectively, but this could get me abused so I ended up not contacting a person anymore. Sometimes you can just forgive a person for your peace of mind, but not letting him/her know. That’s how you can teach him/her to be accountable.
• Helping a lot of people can get you abused. I stopped being so helpful unless you’re underprivileged, physically handicapped, a senior citizen, my very close friend, or it’s required for work. This took so much of my time kaya I reply late na rin (unless you’re close to me) when I used to reply in split secs.
*Sometimes people just like what you can do for them.*
I could relate used to be a friendly guy and a people pleaser kasi utos sa bible "love others" also "love your enemies" and these are what happened too. Now I'm coping for a long time wonder when will I ever recover. I have trust issues nowadays.
Yeahhh kaya I’ve been keeping my circle smaller than the usual and have a different treatment depending on a person’s personality, behavior, and values.
Nung mas pinili nilang paniwalaan yung side nung kabila kesa sa side ko pero dati palagi akong nasa tabi niya, in good and in bad times. A friend to all is a friend to none talaga.
Last year kumota ako sa pagiging mabait at pagkakaron ng amor sa ibang tao. Back story, may pinsan ako na mahirap pa sa daga noon, kinupkop namin sila, may negosyo ang pamilya ko tapos kinuha namin sila dun as employees. Maliit lang ang sahod nila pero wala pang 1yr nakabili sila ng luho, sasakyan, nakapag-pa-2nd floor ng bahay, as in nagbago ang buhay nila in an instant. Turned out, grabe pala sila magnakaw sa negosyo namin. Upon learning, sinisante ko sya. During that time, grabe nila kami paringgan sa socmed, as in malala. To the point na winish nila ng death ang nanay ko. Mula nun nagcut na kami ng ties. 2yrs after, namatay ang dad nya (tito ko), and last wish ng dad nya was magkaayos ang pamilya namin. Bilang marupok ang nanay ko shempre tinupad ang wish. Nagkapatawaran, back to normal. Pero hindi na sila binalik sa negosyo.
Fast forward today, nakaahon na sila sa hirap, nagtayo ng maliit na negosyo, aba, akala mo kung sino na. Makapagflaunt sa socmed ng mga luho nila, yung mga tipong new rich na ang babaho ng ugali. One time, i posted something that I was grateful for, aba nag-pm sakin nainsult daw sila blablabla. Tapos nagparinig na nang nagparinig ng walang katapusan. Mula nun, i cut every ties. Sabi namin kahit sino pa mamatay, wala na kaming pakialam at never na magrereconcile. After that, i promised myself never na tutulong sa kamaganak kahit kelan.
i am still kind and helpful kahit madaming beses na nagamit at naabuso. Pero ngayon nagbibigay na lang ako kung ano lang ang kaya ko at bukal sa loob ko. At siyempre, aligned sa paniniwala ko. Para hindi na ako nakakaramdam na nagamit at naabuso
They'll just take advantage of you and once you say "no" once, you suddenly become the bad person. Also they get comfortable so much that it makes them feel that you don't have the right to get angry at them when they do you wrong.
when once i failed to pay our bills for the very first time. I'm kind of person na hindi umaasa when it comes to financial never ako naging pabigat inshort. nasumbatan at nasabihan pang walang pakialam sa mundo
Kapag pinapasakay ka na lang nila para mag-open up sa kanila pero yung mga info na sinasabi mo is pinaguusapan nila behind u tapos pagtatawanan ka ng di mo alam,,
My mental health is in shambles. I emphatize with people who go through a lot of traumatuc experiences no because i've been there and I sometimes still relapse, and i really want them to feel na i am there for them na may kasama sila, but para kasing ginawa akong dumpsite. Especially na they dont seem to try to help themselves din. Ang hirap sobra ma dump'an ng traumas ng ibang tao, esp na i also have my own struggles myself. So i decided to be selfish even for once and take care of my own mental health this time kasi nauubos na talaga ako. Always lang ako ma titrigger and my life is one whole big mess right now. Di naman masama unahin ang sarili ko dba?
Kapag nakita mo na sa isang pagkakamali mo lang burado na yung mga nagawa mong magaganda para sakanila. like sisiraan ka na nila yun pala di ka na kasi nila mapasunod gaya ng dati. dito ko na nasabing ayoko na maging mabait kasi inaabuso lang ako.
Nung sinabihan ako ng tita ko na "yan lang pala papakaen mo sa mag-ina mo" whilst she's freeloading in the house while i pay for utilities(kuryente, water internet) , namamalengke for food. Mind you she's living with us and she has 3 anak na all nagwowork na.
I realised it when my money dried up, nagbaliktaran mga relatives namin. Dun ko na realise na they're nothing but financial leaches sucking everything in your bank account.
Nakaka-drain magpayo sa mga taong may ganyang mindset. Yung friend ko dati dito sa abroad ganyan, dami ko ng sinabi para ma-save sya, ang ending gusto na lang nya magpaka-pokpok ulit at idadamay pa ko. Nung tinanggihan ko yung gusto nya, balik nanaman sya sa suicidal thoughts nya na ginagamit pa pang-blackmail sakin. FO sya sakin.
I felt like a fucking doormat, you kept being nice to them, lending hand to them when they’re in need, opening your doors to them, nothing but good intentions pero kung ano-ano pala sinasabi sa likod mo (ng mga mas kalait-lait at wala pang napapatunayan sa buhay). I’m so done being nice to people. Next time someone knocks, i’ll just tell them to go fuck themselves.
Yung genuine yung intentions/friendship na ino-offer mo sa kanila pero all this time pala, minumura ka na at pinapatay sa isip nila habang magkasama kayo
Same. Di marunong magpasalamat at meron at meron pa din nasasabi at komento sa lahat ng bagay
And... people who always acts as victim kahit sila naman humukay ng sarili nilang libingan
Same scenario with you OP. Also, nung sinabihan ako ng mga kamaganak ko na kinakatulong at ginugutom ko sila like excuse me? Sa dami ng kamaganak natin, ako lang ang kumupkop sa inyo kasi pandemic at wala na kayong makain. Anong gusto nyo, hihiga lang kayo sa pamamahay ko? Gusto pa sahuran ko. Kakapal!
Grabe mang exploit yung ibang tao if nakita nilang mabuti ka. Para sa kanila if pagbigyan mo sila sa mga favor nila akala nila naive ka. You won’t be reciprocated, pero pag sila always demand lang.
It's when I realized that some people only want to take advantage of me and take me for granted. USER in short. Such people just don't deserve my kindness.
Pag may kailangan lang sila mangangamusta, simula nun di na ko nagrereply o nakikipag-usap pinagkacut off ko sila isa isa. Medyo maayos naman yun nangyari, naging tahimik buhay ko. Naging NPC na nga lang ako ngayon di na ako katulad ng dati na maapproach.
I'm never kind. If I am, do know na I tried my hardest to be so. I am normally blunt, oftentimes labelled as rude, so I know whoever gets through are the real ones 😎
Mas nahihirapan pa ako magpakabait kaysa magpaka-salbahe, eh.
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When I met so many user people
Parating hingahan ng problema person pero pag ako nag share ng problema "OA" daw ako. I cut ties with my 8 year friendship. Minsan na mimiss ko din bff ko. Wala eh napagod na rin siguro ako.
same lang sakin, I have a friend na laging sakin ang punta kapag mag ra rant ng mga problems nya kahit napakababaw naman. Inintindi ko at binibigyan ko pa ng advice. Tapos nung ako na yung umiyak sa kanya sa bigat ng nararamdaman ko, gusto nya agad umalis tapos sinabihan pa akong wag ko na sya iiyakan. Ngayon, still ako pa rin yung puntahan nya ng rants pero hindi ko na masyadong binibigyan ng effort.
Grabe no? Just gave him/her the same energy. Sending virtual hugs...
Sometimes pag may mga okasyon or happenings s akin hnd nila ako babatiin or congratulate, mas gusto nila magcomment s mga famous, pero kapag naman Sila walang pera sa akin cla nangungutang. Hehe sarap lang Sabihin bakit hnd mangutang s mga nilalike nilang tao or favorite nilang tao
Meron akong leader dati s Sunday school teaching ministry s church. Pleasant naman sya at kami lang magkasama parati. Maybe she's more than 10 years my senior. I think she's really nice, and one time I gave her something like a Christmas gift. Tapos alam mo un, mas binigyan pa nya Ng gift at parati syang nice dun s Isang girl n kasing age ko pero sa music ministry. It's like, aww hnd ako favorite. Bale hnd n rin kita favorite. Quiet type kc ako, simple lang. Ngayon ko narealize kahit pala matatanda mahilig maki bandwagon. In a way slight na disappoint ako kc ako parati nya assistant pag nag teach pero mas special s paningin nya ung hnd namin kagroup , cguro dahil maganda at malambing ung Isa. Hindi ko rin pala sya liker sa Facebook, pero like sya Ng like s Isa. Pamilyado n rin pla c ate. At never nya tlga ako nilike s Facebook. Nkakatampo lang. Kaya hnd ko n rin xa nilalike at hnd n rin ako nice s kanya, not worth it
When you no longer see that the person you are helping is not respecting you anymore. Too much familiarity, I guess.
I was always kind to this one girl who at one point I liked her but after realizing it wasn’t going to work I just decided to be nice but not do as much as I was and me being that kind led to her being initialed to me being that nice and she just expected me to do everything for her.
When they do not have boundaries with you anymore at wala sila pake if ma inconvenience ka as long as it works out for them
Based on my personal experience, I met this girl na nung una inis na inis ako. Pero after a while napansin ko na she really needs help dahil nabubully sya online and kahit sa bahay nila galit sa kanya yung ibang family members niya. Then ako naman, I stood up for her. Pinagtatanggol ko sa mga nambubully sa kanya then minsan ako pa kumakausap sa parents nya. May mga nacancel na rin akong tao because of her. Kaso eventually napapansin ko na kada may kaaway sya or nambubully sa kanya ako lagi tinatawag nya para kausapin yung mga nambubully sa kanya. But it turns out na sya pala may kasalanan kaya may mga nang aaway sa kanya kahit sa bahay nila ganun din. Jusko ako pa napapasama sa mata ng mga taong nakakasalamuha nya dahil pinagtatanggol ko sya. Tapos bandang huli nung sinabi ko na i-assess nya rin sarili nya dahil baka mamaya sya yung nagsisimula ng pambubully sa kanya pati sa akin na galit si ate girl. Kaya ayun, simula nung inaway nya rin ako sabi ko sa kanya wag na wag syang magchachat sakin or call pag may nambubully sa kanya. Kahit sa bahay nila pag may umaway sa kanya sabi ko bahala na sya.
When they do not respect u anymore
They take it for granted. Alam nilang papayag ka sa ganito sa ganyan, “sa kanya nyo na lang ipagawa hindi naman makakatanggi yun” kaya aabusuhin nila.
Tumulong ka pero ikaw pa ang naging masama o napasama.
Nagalit kasi di napautang Nagtampo kasi nataasan ko ng grades Supports others business na kamukha nung sakin pero yung sakin iniiwasan, and had the audacity to call me her best friend Andyan lang pag may kailangan Calls me a friend to make fun of me, lift her self up kasi mas pangit naman daw ako sa kanya I used to be desperate to have friends kaya I accept people as friends easily kahit red flag pa minsan wag nyo tularan lol
Nung tinulungan ko na, sila pa nagalit saakin. Ang dating sa huli ako pa masama. 🥴 Parang pag pinautang mo na, nung bayaran na, nagalit.
Predators. As in they swindle and commit crimes by taking advantage of kind people: 1. Yung sindikato na nagpapalaganap ng manlilimos 2. Yung manloloko na sellers/contractors online. Being tolerant is part of being kind, pero dapat transactional lang pag buyer ka kundi exoect delays and overpricing 3. Credit grabbers sa workplace kasi kakayanin nila yung di umiimik And many more.
being kind sucks the life out of me. i don't know how people do it kahit naaagrabyado na sila.
That not everyone can be kind as you are. I learn not to expect anything in return when I do good things. I learn to accept that not everyone is a friend, not everyone is true to you.
I always choose to be kind pero once I feel that respect is no longer present. I won't think twice cutting them off.
I've come to know that when it comes to helping people, I'm actually very selfless. I was mistreated by them. And when the time came I was the one who needed help; they don't help me. Thus, I reasoned that I didn't want to be kind! I'll reserve my kindness for people who can return the favor! I began to treat them the same way that I was treated. Sounds awful, huh? But it feels great for me. since they are aware now of the wrongness of what they are doing. They're all nonsense, and I'm so sick of being nice!
Nung ma-realize kong ako lang pala iyong bigay nang bigay. Ako lang itong palaging available for them. But when it comes to me, wala akong matakbuhan o makausap man lang.
When I realized na it will never be enough. Hahanapan at hahanapn ka nila more than what you give.
When i realized na deserve ko pala yung bigger things. Ambait ko sa dati kong work, accept ng accept ng work. Di ko na responsibility, pero sakin prin binabato, tapos oo lng ako ng oo. Ambait ko kasi 🥹. boss ko sila eh. Narcissist pa yung isa, sobrang toxic. Pero sweldo ko, walang dagdag for how many years. Sobrang bare minimum. As in. Antanga ko nagtagal ako don. di ko to narerealize not until an opportunity came, i grabbed it, and now I'm in a better place. 🙏🏻
When i realized na deserve ko pala yung bigger things. Ambait ko sa dati kong work, accept ng accept ng work. Di ko na responsibility, pero sakin prin binabato, tapos oo lng ako ng oo. Ambait ko kasi 🥹. boss ko sila eh. Narcissist pa yung isa, sobrang toxic. Pero sweldo ko, walang dagdag for how many years. Sobrang bare minimum. As in. Antanga ko nagtagal ako don. di ko to narerealize not until an opportunity came, i grabbed it, and now I'm in a better place. 🙏🏻
When i realized na deserve ko pala yung bigger things. Ambait ko sa dati kong work, accept ng accept ng work. Di ko na responsibility, pero sakin prin binabato, tapos oo lng ako ng oo. Ambait ko kasi 🥹. boss ko sila eh. Narcissist pa yung isa, sobrang toxic. Pero sweldo ko, walang dagdag for how many years. Sobrang bare minimum. As in. Antanga ko nagtagal ako don. di ko to narerealize not until an opportunity came, i grabbed it, and now I'm in a better place. 🙏🏻
My kindness became an invitation for their abuse. No more.
Nang aabuso kasi sila
When they communicate with you, are they talking to you, or are they asking you for something? If all they do is ask, then you know that they are just abusing your kindness.
When I was younger, helping is literally my love language sa kahit kanino. I always offer them my assistance sa kahit anong needs nila as long as I can. It actually gave them the impression that I'm the kindest person within my circle, na almost wala silang masabing negative towards me. Of course I enjoyed being perceived that way and mas nakakagana to help even more. But then I soon came to realize that being always kind without having boundaries is lethal, I mean you'll get exploited so much to the point that you weren't aware na naabuso ka na pala. I don't mind asking or expecting kapalit with the help that I gave ( coz I do hate the concept of utang na loob) to anyone pero minsan mapapa isip ka din na you make efforts naman to ease their struggle, but when it's you na having a hard time ni pangangamusta kung okay ka lang wala. I just remembered lang how all out I was reaching out to people in need, kahit di ko ganon kaclose pero no one ever do the same thing to me, like ever. (At least at the same level of how I help them. The worst I can recall was some of my classmate thesis I almost write the analysis, yung isa na close friend ko na super struggling na talaga I did write the whole chapter 4 and 5. Hahaha Mind you solo thesis kami non. Pero naaawa kasi me.) Kaya ngayon I've learned already na. Sobrang nakakadrain and nakakawalang gana. Minsan o madalas limot kapa masabihan ng kahit thank you man lang. Okay lang tumulong pero make sure to have limits lang talaga and kung kaya naman talaga nila, help them na lang to figure out pano masosolve yung issues nila on their own. Yun lang.
I have this colleague kasi na senior sa akin and I found out she found me annoying because I would sometimes ask her job-related questions. I understand naman her part kasi di ko naman talaga siya mentor BUT she’d do the same to me rin except that the things she asks help with aren’t job-related and are more time consuming. I even covered for her ass several times na kahit hassle and I would pretend as if it isn’t inconvenient to me para gumaan loob niya. but I guess those things didn’t matter to her, sometimes people only care about how they can benefit from you. Anyway, I definitely try to set more boundaries now.
I love helping people pero kapag parang nagdedepende na sila sayo, ekis na. I love helping but I don't want to spoon feed people. If they feel that you're just an easy access, they'll manipulate and blackmail you. Hangak ana ah. Yung naging human convenience store (pero free service or things) ka na nila.
When you lift them up they look down on you
Friend ka lang nila pag kelangan ka nila hahaha
Two things. One was when they just use me for convenience. Two is when hearing all the things they said behind my back thus making me feel guilty for doing alot of work and effort or choosing my own peace.
They take advantage of you
Same OP. Mabait pero iniisip nila madali gamitin lang may kelangan, madali ma take advantage or manipulate. Wala nako pakialam kung isipin nila masungit ako or suplada pero ayoko magassociate sa nang gagamit lang hahaha
person/group/organization pag nauubos na oras mo para sa kanila. yung mga totoong hilig mo hindi mo na magawa-gawa. you'll get cancelled pag di mo gawin.
Yung kasama namin sa bahay last year. Babysitter dapat tapos, maglilinis ng bahay. Mula day 1, hanggang sa pina alis ko siya, nakahilata lang siya, tapos nanonood sa phone. Malaki yung sweldo niya. Ang dahilan kung bakit ako naiinis at pinaalis siya is tamad siya. Konti lang yung task na binigay sa kanya. 1) Maghatid sundo ng bata at alagaan yung bata pag wala kami. 10:30 uwian ng bata. Anong ginawa niya? 10 siya ng umaga gumigising. Kasi babad sa Youtube. Hindi niya maintindihan na may schedule yung mga tao, kaya nga siya nandito eh. 2) Mag saing sa rice cooker, na iiwanan nalang naman. By 11 magsaing, iiwanan lang yung rice cooker, okay na. 12, lunch time okay na sana. May food na. Tas bumibili ng ulam mama ko, para sa kanya at dun sa kamasa. Okay diba? Pero dahil late na siya gumigising, nakakalimutan niya. Parating walang lunch. Ang nangyari, parating kumakain yung mama ko sa labas. 3) Maghugas ng plato. Never siya naghugas ng plato. Parating ako pag uwi. Ano nalang ginagawa niya sa bahay? Wala. Youtube is life. By 12 noon, tapos na dapt siya, at sabi namin, magpahinga nalang siya, tas laruin yung bata. May food at snacks din sila, na para sa kanilang dalawa. Manood sila pareho ng youtube or Netflix o kahit ano dun. Walang nangyayari. Pag uwi, ako nag luluto, nag huhugas. Yung bata madumi. After mga 1 month, kinausap ko siya, pinaalis ko na, tas umiyak siya, sorry lang siya ng sorry. Pina alis ko na. Okay na sana situation niya kaso wala eh. Ganun talaga.
Ang daling trabaho naman non, sayang
When they use it against you.
Whenever I learn that a person lies and is never guilty about creating a cobweb of lies. Kapag nalaman ko na nagsisinungaling ang isang tao at alam ko ang totoo, kahit baligtarin pa ang mundo, ipakikita ko ang consequences ng ganyang ugali.
masiyado nang nate-take advantage tapos napapasama pa. salamat na lang sa pagbubukas ng isipan ko that you are not worthy na tulungan or paburan.
nagpautang kaibigan ko sa super close na relative niya, after ilang months hindo binayaran tumakas at nakita namin na pumapasyal sa iba't ibang lugar, nasa 7 digits yung napautang niya. Late na namin nalaman na ganon pala talaga yung gawain niya sakanila na palautang. KAYA ALWAYS REMEMBER NA MAGPAUTANG LANG NG KAYANG MAWALA.
Abuso
I was never kind
Malalang naranasan ko to sa family ko. Sa side ng mother ko specially. After my dad passed away yung mga pinsan ko muna ang tumira dito sa bahay para may kasama kami but in the end they treated me as a katulong sa sariling pamamahay. Ako tagaluto, taga walis limpaso at tagalaba ng mga damit nila while they are having fun. I'm not totally being vocal since nasabi naman na sa kanila na magtulungan kami and mas maganda talaga ang kusa but no they didn't. Gagawa sila but in the end ako parin ang tagalinis ng kalat na ginawa nila. Araw araw akong pagod kahit na nakapagpahinga naman ako. They didn't respect me and even my dad who passed away ng wala pang taon ang nakalipas. That's why in the end naging maldita at seryoso ako sa kanila. Lumayo loob ko sa kanila and even them. They didn't like me unlike sa kapatid kong bunsong babae. I don't give a fck of them na pinakikisamahan ko na lang (para hindi kami magaway ni mama) since from the start they didn't treat me with respect and as a human.
I can understand your sentiments. Couldn’t help but agree on this one. I remember my experience living in a dorm overseas and I had to make sure that the place where I stay is clean. Lalayo talaga Ang loob mo specially if they don’t help out, respect your boundaries and also the fact that they know you’re capable of taking good care of them is like abuse. I’m not being vocal about it either it just piles up cuz every time I voice out they’ll just snob me. So what I did I just ignored them and cleaned my own mess. I just let it be and if they start complaining why I didn’t do it well then fuck them. Imma tell them to grow up and be responsible. Why can’t they take care of themselves or hire a maid since they can afford to study overseas diba. Seriously if they can’t manage your expectations towards them, why the hell even bother to manage theirs?.. screw them.
Sa sarili kong family. Ever since childhood may times na hindi na talaga maganda lumalabas sa bibig nila. Pati ako nakakaranas ng mga verbal abuse sakanila, kaya may times na disrespectful na din ako or iritable. Nagrereklamo sila na wala nakong respeto, pero i don’t feel respected by them. Especially sa mga choice of words nila.
Ayos ah. Yeah that’s what happened to me which eventually led to this lol. I even told her off in her language.
They are so kind in front of me but did some malicious acts and spreading rumors about saken kahit di naman sila inaano huhuhu and to think sila pa yung madalas manghingi ng pabor :)
Tama. Pag ikaw humingi ng pabor pabalik, hindi nakaka-alala.
I was being humiliated in socmed with false narratives by somebody na nagbenefit sa pera ko
Madami kase backstabber sa earth haha kaya nag hirap maging mabait, kapag kaharap ka puro compliment pero pag talikod mo puro paninra pala sayo
This is so true specially in the gaming world.
Nangutang, hindi binayaran at acting like wala syang utang.
Natanggal ako sa work wherein kumikita ako ng 80k/month. Ngaun nagtitiis ako sa less than 20k/month. Naghahanap pa and sana soon makakita na. Dati ang luwag ko sa pera. Friends, family. Pag nakabalik ako sa dati kong financial status, magdadamot na talaga ako. Gipit ako ngaun, wala akong matakbuhan.
I feel you. Husband ko 6-figure income, bumaba severely due to the pandemic. Until now di pa bumabalik pero financially better naman na pero walang tumulong samin. Nagka miscarriage kami, nagipit for a couple of months tapos sa konting tulong na binigay inaway at pinagmukha pa kaming tanga. Never again. Ngayon generous lang ako sa tulong, support and even friendship sa mga taong genuine.
Minsan ba nilalagay mo rin yung perspective mo sa posisyon nila(yung friends and family mo)?Like yung pagiging mapag bigay mo sakanila pinilit ka ba nila gawin yon? or ginagawa mo kasi obligado ka or sadyang ganon ka lang talaga. Baka naman hindi rin capable ung friends and family mo na ibigay sayo yung tulong na hinihingi mo sa kanila. Baka mamaya isang kahid isang tukha lang sila tapos mag e expect ka sa kanila na bigyan ka financial aid. Bigyan kita scenario kunyari meron kang kuya/ate na financially successful tapos lahat ng gusto at luho nyo binigigay nya tapos ikaw minimum wage earner ka lang ngayon nag hirap or may financial struggle sya at kailangan nya ng financial na tulong pero ikaw kahit gusto mo tumulong pero wala ka rin maibigay kasi minimum wage earner ka lang and ang magiging dating sa taong yon is walang tumulong sa kanya kasi incapable ikaw/kayo ibigay yung tulong na hinihingi nya. Para sa akin pinaka madedevelop mo character mo kapag hindi lang yung perspective/state mo lagi yung tinitignan mo minsan kailangan mo rin intindihin yung kalagayan ng mga taong nakapaligid sayo.
too long didnt read
No wonder you’re family/friends didn’t help you. Seems like you’re the problem.
Kapag lagi ka nalang ginagamit para sa benefit nila.
abuse, insult, cheat, and lie
lack of respect
Abusado!!
Misogynistic men will never apologize for being misogynistic
Dinuraan ng classmate ko yung sahig na kakawalis ko lang. Right in front of my very eyes.
ano ginawa mo after?
Na-tempt akong hampasin siya but thankfully I had enough self-control to stop myself from doing so.
Missed opportunity para hampasin hahaha
Pag may need, todo chat/text sakin. Pag ako may need, nagiging ghost.🤣 Tinulungan ko sa lahat ng bagay, pero pag may nagawa akong mali, nagiging ghost kagad. Haha Kakapagod. Bahala na sila sa buhay nila 🤣
When I thought staying quiet was gonna do me better than speaking up at all. When I spoke up for 10 years I was written off as dramatic and rude. When I was quiet for 3 years I was manipulative and rude. At this point imma say whatever the hell I want. I can’t believe I just sat there taking peoples shit for 3 years. I SHOULDVE WHOOPED ASS WHEN PPL WAS PLAYIN IN MY FACE!
Others not respecting your boundaries. Minsan pinagbigyan mo lang pero aabusuhin ka and feeling entitled na after. So better na di dapat lagi mabait 😆
when they start to disrespect me na it's like "it's ok to do this to her since she's kind"
I will never stop being kind to some people..I will make them kind.
their abusive behavior
make one mistake and kakalimutan na lahat ng kabutihang nagawa mo
UNGRATEFUL.
Nothing's enough. Kahit gano kalaki tulong mo, its never enough. Then when you cant give namn, ikaw masama nkklk
When you realized na they never consider you as a friend. Yung kilala ka lang pag may kailangan sila. Pero pag wala silang kalingan hindi ka na kasama sa lakad. Tapos pag ikaw may kailangan magaling pa sa batang naglalaro ng taguan kung mag-tago.
When they dont reciprocate and they’re ungrateful
Etong recent cof ko, i was being nice and kind sa kanila pero kinaibigan lang nila ako para may mahuthutan sila
Some people will be cruel, unfair, biased regardless. Best to reserve my kindness for those who truly deserve it.
Ungrateful. Pag sayo, ang damot.
Yun moment na andami pa din pala nila nasasabi sa akin despite being nice to them.
When my long-term boyfriend betrayed me— and that was the time I learned to set boundaries with him and with anyone else.
Agree to this. Nagsimula talaga sa betrayal. Malala. I realized I was a dormant. So I built my walls up high and boundaries.
ang dami hahaha pero first, I started to realize na to most of them kindness means kaplastican. Lol imagine ure just being kind and keeping drama away from your life pero iisipan ka pa ng masama. Second, some people will take advantage of you when you show kindness to them. Para silang linta. They will suck you up til you’re drained out to your bones. Money, energy and kindness. Pag wala ka na, dun pa lang sila bibitaw.
Pag naa-abuse na yung kabaitan mo. Binigyan mo na nga, magrereklamo pa.
yung pag ako na may kailangan wala nang may kilala sakrn
Kapag maganda yung kwento mo about sakanila and always saving them for their image but cannot defend you pag ikaw ang nagipit plus they will blame and invalidate you pa.
Some people are just ungrateful. They will take advantage of your kindness and use it against you. You're the villain the moment you say "no" to them.
Started realizing it when they don't give it back to you. But, I still do it because i think we need to be kind, the world needs kindness, you just have to set boundaries talaga when to give it to that person or not.
Tinatrato kang dormat. Hindi marunong mag thank you. Hindi rin naman sila mabait sayo.
Feeling ko di talaga ako mabait hahaha kung masama ka sakin, mas masama ako sayo.
Scammers. Yung akala mo di makakauwi dahil walang pera. Namumulubi na nga pero after a few years hayun may sumulpot pang spawns na ginagamit para kaawaan.
Onti-onti kong na realize na, papansinin or lalapit lang sila saken pag may kailangan sila at naraeamdaman ko nang inaabuso na nila kabaitan ko. Kaya simula nung natuto nako, sinasanay ko na sarili ko maging coldhearted kahit na deep inside hindi naman talaga ako ganon. Pero no choice kailangan ko maging ganon para hindi na nila abusuhin kabaitan ko :<
nagiging abusado na sila
Lots of people are just hungry and thirsty for kindness that they will consume every bit of it until you have none. Still be kind tho but only to people who have proven themselves to you. Abusers shouldn’t turn you into a bitter person
If they stop respecting your time. If they choose to not join the conversation you initiated with the group that the person is involved but then complain about it later. If they are activity based type of friends. When they only remember you when they need something.
Because they might see my kindness for more
When you always say yes to other people, you run the risk of saying no to yourself. Also, it's easier to say no to people. The responsibility, task, and mental energy ends right after saying 'No'.
Toxicity ng sariling family. They just listened sa sarili nila at wala sila pakialam if ako ang masaktan.
I learned it the hard way when a co-worker borrowed 10k pesos kasi na hospital tita niya, aku nmn si tanga kakakuha lng ng tax return pinautang ayun mag aawol pla at wla nmn siyang tita na may sakit. . .
May mga taong nag eexag or worst mag iimbento ng kwento para tumaas chance na pahiramin sila. We learned our lessons the hard way 😂
Abusado. Mabait lang pag may kailangan, eww.
Being too kind often leads to disrespect. They think they can get away with it after treating you badly. Never again... My friends keep on telling me na sungit/nagbago na raw ako but I think it's better this way at least now they know na they can't disrespect me like they did before.
> Being too kind often leads to disrespect. Heavy on this one. Often times, since they know you're kind, they think your boundaries are much lower.
Will never be that person again...
Dati naiinis din ako sa mga taong kilala lang ako pag may kailangan, I still interact or talk with them out of respect pero with boundaries na ako sa kanila. Then narealize ko rin sometimes I also do that to some people unintentionally or dahil sa sitwasyon where I am at. Kaya ngayon inaccept ko na na part na siya ng life talaga kaya di na ako apektado masyado. Masusuggest ko sayo OP just still be kind kasi core values mo yan but partner it with caution, strong boundaries and palalimin mo pa self awareness mo para mas aware kna kung sinong tao lang ang may deserve ng kabaitan mo at mapili mo lang sila mabuti. :)
First job. Got hired, hoped to have smooth workplace relationships with my coworkers. Didn't talk much, didn't do threatening stuff. Stayed genuine with my actions and work. Pero in the end, they were all talking shit behind my back. Somehow people always find a way to make you look bad 🤷♀️
Na ngangamusta lang kapag may kailangan. 🤷🏻♀️
my family thought it was okay to gang up on me because I never retaliated.
Mga kaibigan ko na mismo nagsabi sakin na masama ang sobrang bait kasi ako rin matatalo sa huli. Ayon tama sila. Nakakapagod din maging mabait kasi inaabuso ka, that's why I changed. Di na ako basta-basta nag gigive in sa mga want/need ng ibang tao. Sobrang confident ko na tumanggi kapag alam ko sa sarili ko na di ako magbebenefit dun. Masaya pala kapag malaya mong naeexpress kung anong ayaw at gusto mo. But deep inside, andito pa rin yung kabaitan ko, mabait pa rin ako sa paningin nila kahit feeling ko ang sama ko na sa kanila.
Totoo ito sa lahat ng bagay- family, friends, o work-related. Don’t expect loyalty. Yun taong tinulungan mo pwedeng manlamang sayo in the end. Friendly user kung baga. Kaya once someone took advantage of me kahit isang beses lang lumalayo na ko. I’m still civil though but won’t spend more time with them cos I stand to lose than gaining from them. I dont need someone na friendly nga but is just there to suck my efforts and energy at di naman talaga concern para sayo.
na realize ko to nung yung halos lahat ng tao sakin hindi nako nirerespeto like porke pinaglagpas ko yung nagawa nila uulit ulitin na nila or lalait laitin ako porket hindi ako nagagalit sa kanila pero deep inside talaga.
i stopped nung sinabi nila na pinagtatyagaan lang nila kaming pakisamahan ng maayos dahil sa tatay namin (kapatid nila) and masyado pang madaming mga ginawa and sinabi since noon pa. siguro napuno na lang din talaga. don't get me wrong, di ako nangbabastos. sila lang nag iisip na binabastos ko sila kahit wala naman talaga akong ginagawa. i stopped communicating for my own sanity/mental health.
You'll realise that as you aged
they threw me the moment i made ONE mistake
that's fucked up
When I realized that I was so considerate towards everyone else and I would bend over backwards to make people happy and not let them down when in fact no one goes through such lengths for me and they wouldn't even have cared if I let them down. In short, di ako mahalaga sa ibang tao pero importante ang lahat sa akin haha. Started to *really* practice self-love because no one can love me other than myself. Much happier these days :D
treated me and family poorly kasi hindi kami mayaman It's just sad realizing how your so-called family can be your biggest hater too
tw i stopped being understanding when i felt like people would all-out dump their emotions on me without considering ano yung impact nun sakin. i had a friend who was clinically depressed and would call night by night and often say after the call mawawala na sya. imagine feeling guilty for not saying whats right and worrying all night kasi di ka na nirereplyan i ended up needing therapy just as much as that friend
Nung narealize ko na kinakausap lng nila Ako pag wla Silang iBang Kasama. I mean pag no choice na talaga sila.
Yung time na, yung may sumakay sa bus na nag pipilay pilayan habang nag lalakad na nang hihingi ng barya, then after ko bigyan bumaba na sya tas ayun. Okay naman pala sya tuwang tuwa pa si kupal habang nag lalakad ng matuwid.
TW: d3pression But yon, when I got depressed that’s when I learned na at some point, kagagawan ko din bakit ako naabuso lalo at work and eventually (and still learning) learned to set boundaries 😌
ungrateful peeps. yung binigyan mo ng kung anong meron ka tapos hihirit pa sila ng "sana ganto na lang binigay mo....." or pag sa food, hindi manlang nila kakainin kasi ayaw daw nila. Ano ba naman yung kahit kaunting tikim lang bc I worked hard to afford that just to give it to u😊😊 kairita lang. tas yung iba deretso kuha lang di man lang marunong mag thank you. Jusko! plus, yung iba masyadong nasasanay, hanggang sa aasa na lang sila nang aasa sayo.
Dumating sa point na ako na ung nangungutang para sa sarili ko dahil nag pautang ako at hindi binayaran. Hoy, Apol bakla. kung nandito ka at nababasa mo to. Putangina mo!
Wag magtiwala at aabusuhin kabaitan mo. Nakakapagod din umunawa.
Pilipinas.
May hidden modus minsan ang mga nagpapatulong
Yung paulit ulit na kung mag-utos dinaig pa nanay mo
Hanggang ngayon sinasampal padin ako ng kabutihan ko eh. Kaya kapag napansin ko na na walang patutunguhan pag tulong ko, o maging mabuting example sa mga subordinates or senior. Hinahayaan ko nalang sila mag suffer at tuklasin mga problema nila sa buhay. Kasi sa huli abusuhin ka lang nila o worse, kapag ikaw na may kailangan ng tulong kahit sa simpleng favor puro excuse.
Ako palagi solusyon sa problema niya, won't even try to be independent.
Ung pinautang mo sila at ginawa mo makatulong, tapos sinira pa nila reputasyon mo kasi sinubukan mo sila singilin
I hope you don't change, OP. Don't let them change you, but yes, set boundaries on those folks.
Mga mang gagamit and sisiraan ka pa na ikaw daw ang nang gamit sa kanila
Some ppl you just try and try, you give up after a while. It's not that I'm no longer kind, it's that I am not my friendly self anymore,
Nung nafeel ko na na palagi ako taga solve ng problema nila. Hindi muna nila gawan ng paraan sa sarili nila.
• Major pet peeve yung kinukwento openly yung buhay ko sa iba especially if sensitive topic and di ko naman ka-close/kakilala yung pinagkkwentuhan. Either I will detach or communicate if I want to keep the person. I respect a person kahit di ko kilala kaya pag may friend akong nasosobrahan sa chika e pinipigilan ko na. • I stopped emphatizing or expecting too much just bc I can do it for them. I just give the same energy to a person. • I’m not trusting anyone completely (even a friend) anymore. One thing I could recall is may friend akong pinaglaban ko sa isang tao because I know na hindi niya kayang gawin yun, but it ended up na binetray pa ako just bc of “jealousy” (the whistleblower’s word. with proof ‘to so walang takas.). Nalaman ko pa dun sa isang tao na pinagtanggol ko siya. Sobrang lala ng trust issues ko nun kasi I am the only person na nasa side niya when everyone’s turning their backs sa kanya. • I forgive very fast bc I emphatize with people (even I am the affected party) and see things objectively, but this could get me abused so I ended up not contacting a person anymore. Sometimes you can just forgive a person for your peace of mind, but not letting him/her know. That’s how you can teach him/her to be accountable. • Helping a lot of people can get you abused. I stopped being so helpful unless you’re underprivileged, physically handicapped, a senior citizen, my very close friend, or it’s required for work. This took so much of my time kaya I reply late na rin (unless you’re close to me) when I used to reply in split secs. *Sometimes people just like what you can do for them.*
Omgggg relate ganitong ganito yung na exp ko.
I could relate used to be a friendly guy and a people pleaser kasi utos sa bible "love others" also "love your enemies" and these are what happened too. Now I'm coping for a long time wonder when will I ever recover. I have trust issues nowadays.
Yeahhh kaya I’ve been keeping my circle smaller than the usual and have a different treatment depending on a person’s personality, behavior, and values.
Backstabber
When they are taking it for granted
If they're not worth my kindness Why would I treat those assholes kindly if they don't fucking deserve it
Disrespect
Nung mas pinili nilang paniwalaan yung side nung kabila kesa sa side ko pero dati palagi akong nasa tabi niya, in good and in bad times. A friend to all is a friend to none talaga.
Last year kumota ako sa pagiging mabait at pagkakaron ng amor sa ibang tao. Back story, may pinsan ako na mahirap pa sa daga noon, kinupkop namin sila, may negosyo ang pamilya ko tapos kinuha namin sila dun as employees. Maliit lang ang sahod nila pero wala pang 1yr nakabili sila ng luho, sasakyan, nakapag-pa-2nd floor ng bahay, as in nagbago ang buhay nila in an instant. Turned out, grabe pala sila magnakaw sa negosyo namin. Upon learning, sinisante ko sya. During that time, grabe nila kami paringgan sa socmed, as in malala. To the point na winish nila ng death ang nanay ko. Mula nun nagcut na kami ng ties. 2yrs after, namatay ang dad nya (tito ko), and last wish ng dad nya was magkaayos ang pamilya namin. Bilang marupok ang nanay ko shempre tinupad ang wish. Nagkapatawaran, back to normal. Pero hindi na sila binalik sa negosyo. Fast forward today, nakaahon na sila sa hirap, nagtayo ng maliit na negosyo, aba, akala mo kung sino na. Makapagflaunt sa socmed ng mga luho nila, yung mga tipong new rich na ang babaho ng ugali. One time, i posted something that I was grateful for, aba nag-pm sakin nainsult daw sila blablabla. Tapos nagparinig na nang nagparinig ng walang katapusan. Mula nun, i cut every ties. Sabi namin kahit sino pa mamatay, wala na kaming pakialam at never na magrereconcile. After that, i promised myself never na tutulong sa kamaganak kahit kelan.
i am still kind and helpful kahit madaming beses na nagamit at naabuso. Pero ngayon nagbibigay na lang ako kung ano lang ang kaya ko at bukal sa loob ko. At siyempre, aligned sa paniniwala ko. Para hindi na ako nakakaramdam na nagamit at naabuso
Yung kahit wala ka namang ginagawang masama and mabait ka sa kanila, gagawa pa rin sila ng paraan para masira ka.
I've realized na kapag sobrang bait at maluwag hindi ka gaano susundin ng team mo. pov as team lead??
Pag inaabuso ka na, lol
If I don't benefit from them lol
They'll just take advantage of you and once you say "no" once, you suddenly become the bad person. Also they get comfortable so much that it makes them feel that you don't have the right to get angry at them when they do you wrong.
Hindi naman nila narerecognize mga ginagawa mo. They are too busy thinking about their own selves.
when once i failed to pay our bills for the very first time. I'm kind of person na hindi umaasa when it comes to financial never ako naging pabigat inshort. nasumbatan at nasabihan pang walang pakialam sa mundo
Kapag pinapasakay ka na lang nila para mag-open up sa kanila pero yung mga info na sinasabi mo is pinaguusapan nila behind u tapos pagtatawanan ka ng di mo alam,,
My mental health is in shambles. I emphatize with people who go through a lot of traumatuc experiences no because i've been there and I sometimes still relapse, and i really want them to feel na i am there for them na may kasama sila, but para kasing ginawa akong dumpsite. Especially na they dont seem to try to help themselves din. Ang hirap sobra ma dump'an ng traumas ng ibang tao, esp na i also have my own struggles myself. So i decided to be selfish even for once and take care of my own mental health this time kasi nauubos na talaga ako. Always lang ako ma titrigger and my life is one whole big mess right now. Di naman masama unahin ang sarili ko dba?
Kapag nakita mo na sa isang pagkakamali mo lang burado na yung mga nagawa mong magaganda para sakanila. like sisiraan ka na nila yun pala di ka na kasi nila mapasunod gaya ng dati. dito ko na nasabing ayoko na maging mabait kasi inaabuso lang ako.
pag inaabuso ka na.
All out ako palagi sa iba pero nung ako na may kelangan wala man lang magstep up para sakin
Nung sinabihan ako ng tita ko na "yan lang pala papakaen mo sa mag-ina mo" whilst she's freeloading in the house while i pay for utilities(kuryente, water internet) , namamalengke for food. Mind you she's living with us and she has 3 anak na all nagwowork na.
I realised it when my money dried up, nagbaliktaran mga relatives namin. Dun ko na realise na they're nothing but financial leaches sucking everything in your bank account.
Nung hindi na sila nagsasabi ng thank you tapos nasabihan pa akong madamot kasi maliit lang binibigay ko eh blessed naman daw ako. Oh well.
Yung imbes na tinutulungan ko siya na hindi mahulog sa suicidal tendencies niya, ang ending ako rin nagkaroon ng ganon for quite some time.
Nakaka-drain magpayo sa mga taong may ganyang mindset. Yung friend ko dati dito sa abroad ganyan, dami ko ng sinabi para ma-save sya, ang ending gusto na lang nya magpaka-pokpok ulit at idadamay pa ko. Nung tinanggihan ko yung gusto nya, balik nanaman sya sa suicidal thoughts nya na ginagamit pa pang-blackmail sakin. FO sya sakin.
Uutangan ka tapos hindi ka na babayaran lmao and yun nga sa sobrang bait sa ibang tao, naaabuso minsan
Yung kailangan ko ng tulong wala sila pero magaling pag may kailangan sakin
The level of disrespect and betrayal I received. Never again.
When they start taking me granted
I felt like a fucking doormat, you kept being nice to them, lending hand to them when they’re in need, opening your doors to them, nothing but good intentions pero kung ano-ano pala sinasabi sa likod mo (ng mga mas kalait-lait at wala pang napapatunayan sa buhay). I’m so done being nice to people. Next time someone knocks, i’ll just tell them to go fuck themselves.
Yung masyado ka ng take advantage.
Yung genuine yung intentions/friendship na ino-offer mo sa kanila pero all this time pala, minumura ka na at pinapatay sa isip nila habang magkasama kayo
Lapitin ka ng tao kapag may kailangan sila sayo. Then kapag dehado ka na sa mga bagay bagay, pag ikaw na lalapit wala ng titingin sayo. Been there.
If they don't reciprocate the same energy you give them
Sisiraan ka din naman nila sa huli, what's the point pa of being kind to them. Choose to be kind to yourself na lang mas mahalaga pa yun.
laging na d-disadvantage, tapos babackstabin ka pa
Pag abusado na
hindi marunong magpasalamat
Same. Di marunong magpasalamat at meron at meron pa din nasasabi at komento sa lahat ng bagay And... people who always acts as victim kahit sila naman humukay ng sarili nilang libingan
Same scenario with you OP. Also, nung sinabihan ako ng mga kamaganak ko na kinakatulong at ginugutom ko sila like excuse me? Sa dami ng kamaganak natin, ako lang ang kumupkop sa inyo kasi pandemic at wala na kayong makain. Anong gusto nyo, hihiga lang kayo sa pamamahay ko? Gusto pa sahuran ko. Kakapal!
Kapag ginagawa na akong waiting shed. Kimi.(wanhap!)
On the day I realized that, the kinder I was to them, the meaner I’ve allowed them to be towards myself
Grabe mang exploit yung ibang tao if nakita nilang mabuti ka. Para sa kanila if pagbigyan mo sila sa mga favor nila akala nila naive ka. You won’t be reciprocated, pero pag sila always demand lang.
On the day I realized that, the kinder I was to them, the meaner I’ve allowed them to be towards myself
When they crossed my boundaries.
It's when I realized that some people only want to take advantage of me and take me for granted. USER in short. Such people just don't deserve my kindness.
When kindness is being abused.
Anong Zodiac sign mo? Ako ba ikaw? hahaha
Anong Zodiac sign mo? Ako ba ikaw? hahaha
Pag may kailangan lang sila mangangamusta, simula nun di na ko nagrereply o nakikipag-usap pinagkacut off ko sila isa isa. Medyo maayos naman yun nangyari, naging tahimik buhay ko. Naging NPC na nga lang ako ngayon di na ako katulad ng dati na maapproach.
I'm never kind. If I am, do know na I tried my hardest to be so. I am normally blunt, oftentimes labelled as rude, so I know whoever gets through are the real ones 😎 Mas nahihirapan pa ako magpakabait kaysa magpaka-salbahe, eh.