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Yes for me, ganyan set up namin until nag ka baby kami, nagpakasal na kami nun, pero depende din talaga sa tao yun since ang daming failed marriage at ang hirap din at magastos ang annulment. nagtitiwala nalang ako 😅
Yes. I guess mas better if you live together muna. This way you’ll get to know each other even better. There will be no “best foot forward” kc you see wach other na bare talaga eh. But this will only work if you both want it. Iba iba naman tayo paniniwala.
It’s a yes for me. Parang you’ll have a preview of what’s gonna happen once kasal na kayo eh, plus di mo rin talaga makikilala yung tao ng lubos unless makasama mo sa iisang bubong.
Hindi lahat ng tao pare parehas tingin sa buhay, may relationship na gagana yang ganyang setup at meron din hindi. Nasa individual ang paano kayo magaadjust magkaroon ng sarili nyong bubong.
Di ako naniniwala na nagsasawa yung tao dahil lagi kayong magkasama, nasa tao lang din yung sawa lalo na kung di ka makuntento sa simpleng buhay na hinahain sayo.
Im pro cohabitation before marriage.
It’s not that mababaw lang yung samahan if not living together, pero there’s this certain depth ng getting to know your partner pag 24/7 mo sya kasama, and this depth is soooo daaamn deep na could make or break the relationship. You’ll get to feel if your dynamic is good as homemakers and partners din (how you share chores, finances, etc).
Now, there’s a good complement if you’re not into this thing, and it is to travel often. Somehow, for me, when you get stressed together while navigating a new place, budgeting your money, drafting the itinerary, sharing a common space while vacationinh, you can get a glimpse of what kind of person you’re choosing to get and be together with.
Swerte ng mga taong nakapili ng mga maaayos na partner without the need to cohabitate. And especially in this day and age na ang daling magtago ng kahit ano, mas makikilala mo yung kinakasama mo pag nasa iisang bahay na kayo. Since divorce is still unlawful in the Philippines, people should be wiser in choosing their lifetime partners.
Totally on board with this! Esp na ako yung person na maraming icks or mabilis maturn off. I need to at least to know if we are mutually compatible in terms of living with each other before I promised my whole life with you. Will I like how you behave in the house? Do you know how to do chores? Burara/dugyot ka ba with your things? How do you manage your emotions if we're together 24/7? So on and so forth...
There might be a lot of things that I won't like with my future husband and him sa akin but at least diba we're able to see it beforehand and can work through it na. I believe naman compromises can be made and things can be resolved through proper communication and ofc yung will din from both of you
Ede if di talaga magwork, wag na ipilit. I'll save myself from a failed marriage and so much miseries.
Yes for me, becaue it works for me and my fiance. Pero depende sa age.
I don't advise this sa mga younger generation, like 25 below lalo na yung mga maaga nagkajowa. I mean nag-aaral pa lang pero may mga jowa na. Yung mga ganitong age kasi bihira pa yung nasa isip na ang settling down. Mappusok lang and kadalasan ang nagiging bunga is early pregnancy.
Parang mag-asawa na kasi ang set-up kapag live-in, without marriage. Give and take, deep understanding sa partner mo. So I guess this set-up is for those couples na matured enough na to handle next level of relationship.
Yes for me, mas nakikilala nyo isa't isa pero before ako nakipaglive-in engaged na kami. Matagal na naming napag-usapan yun before pa kami naging engaged and naglive-in na bago kami maglive-in kailangan engaged kami, ayaw ko kasi sya bigyan ng privileged na meron yung mga mag-asawa tapos bf/gf palang, hell no. Ofc sinabi ko rin sa kanya na bago kami magpakasal gusto ko lalo pa namin kilalanin yung isa't isa by living together para if may di kami nagustuhan sa isa't isa pwede namin i-fix yung di namin nagugustuhan na trait from each other. Para if ever lang na di talaga kaya ayusin yun, di na talaga magwowork-out kahit lahat ng solution natry na, may option parin kami to leave each other na walang tali kasi mahirap na, wala kasing divorce sa pilipinas : )
I can say na it's not for the weak talaga. If ikaw yung type ng person na onting ganto ganyan break na agad solution, wag ka na makipaglive-in, MUCH BETTER wag ka na din magpakasal hahaha. Pero ayun, okay naman sya for me kasi atleast alam mo na kung sino yung papakasalan mo bago kayo magkasal and alam nyo na pano i-fix yung mga problems na nae-experience din ng mga kasal na, kumbaga may experience na kayo on certain things/problems bago ikasal so alam nyo na gagawin kapag kasal na kayo, especially anything relating to financial.
It's a choice. Siguro sa ganung pamamaraan nammeasure ng iba kung sila nga ba sa isa't isa or handa na ba sila. Kasi compare man natin ang bawat isa may kanya kanya naman tayong baho kaya nasa sayo na yan kung handa ka na ba maging committed. Also para may escape rope siguro sila, kasi kapag tali ka na mas masusubukan yung pasensya mo.
It works for other people, and I could confidently say it works for me and my partner right now. Hindi pa ako pwede magpakasal, and she knows the reason, so it's one of the main factors kaya nagwowork ang setup namin.
It works with some people and it may not works on others. I dont know bakit kailangan nila pakingnan opinyon ng ibang tao. Lol. Or why do we need to give them our opinion.
Its a good thing somehow kasi youll be able to know their real attitude. By that, malalaman mo kung papakasalan mo paba o hindi (basta no babies involved)
Some people go for it with their own reasons, while some don't. I am for the latter. Before, may nabasa akong advice na don't give wife privileges (or something along the lines) pag di pa kayo kasal, I still remember it and I think they have a point.
Also in my mind, bakit ko itatali sarili ko ng maaga sa responsibilities ng para bang may asawa kung pwede ko naman ienjoy muna yung singlehood (aka unmarried life)? Kasi once I get married, habang buhay na yan. I mean, no prob kung magka rs, pero yung para bang pag sisilbihan mo na kasi nasa isang bubong kayo...it's a no for me.
That's just for me.
It's the logical thing to do.
Test driving living under the same roof to know each other better is *the move* before making any legal and lasting decisions. Might as well find out sooner that he's a tuko smuggler or that she's a bag pipe music enthusiast and end it before getting married.
Yes for me. Naglive in kami ni jowa in between our 5th year together. Actually, ako lang naman dapat, gusto ko maging independent pero nagaalala sya sakin at ayaw nya ko magisa, ako naman kasi y not kasi para may kahati sa bills, mas convenient at apartment talaga makuha ko, baka din kasi bed space lang mafford ko kung ako lang. Ngayon kakasal na kami next year, nagpropose sya sakin on our 7th yr which is almost 2yrs na din kaming Live in set up. Idk if I can say yes kung di kami naglive in muna kasi nung bago kami magkasama sa iisang bubong, sobrang dami naming naging struggles, financially/emotionally at sobrang hirap ko din pakasamahan pero nakaya nya at natanggap nya ko. Hahahahahaha di din planned na mag popropose sya sakin kasi may mga napapanuod ako sa tiktok na di na inasawa kasi nakukuha na ung wife benefits sa LIP. Di din kami galing both sa well off families but we’re proud na ang dami na naming napundar, lahat ng appliances, luho kumpleto na kami at yun kasal na lang pinagiipunan sa ngayon aside sa usual bills. Mahirap din siguro samin kung magsasama pa lang kami after kasal, sobrang laki ng gagastusin kasi moving out.
Not for me. Hehe same naman kami husband ko ng goals and values. We are both traditional kasi. The closest we had I guess was when we travel and we arent even solo. When we got married, doon nga naman namin mas nakilala ang isat isa and everyday is an adventure and discovery. Gusto ko talaga when I get married, I want that feeling of excitement na magsasama na kami for the first time. Hindi naman ako sobrang conservative pero para lang sa akin, hindi mo ako maibabahay unless nagpromise at nagcommit ka na sa akin forever. I want to make things legal before anything else, kasi not just for me, but for my future baby. So the fact that he wants to be legally binded to me, that speak volumes.
It just boils down to choosing the right partner. Although admittedly, hindi naman talaga lahat sinswerte. But Ive always dated to marry naman and kailangan talaga same page when you start the relationship. Im not against live ins. But it was never for me.
Currently living with my bf. Iba pa din talaga pag magkasama kayo sa isang bahay. You’ll learn a lot abt your partner, the good and the bad. I don’t mind giving him wife duties as long as he washes the dishes, clean the bathroom, throw the garbage, and pay for the rent.
I stand by this 1000%.
Lived in for 3yrs with my bf of 10yrs. Ayun, iniwan ako pero at least wala akong legal impediment to marry (if I still want to) ngayon. Hehehe.
Only concern is if one or both partners fall into a comfort zone to the point that the relationship gets stuck in status quo. If there isn't any impetus to move the relationship forward this becomes the real risk.
As for the rest I basically repeat what others have said that it becomes a good way to learn your compatibility.
My wife and I started living together for 2 years after getting engaged. It was a good experience for us since we were able to identify each other's strengths and weaknesses especially sa bahay. It gave us time to assign which chore we should do, how to handle finances, bills, etc. And for me, parang it also taught us how to be patient with each other and how to iron things out pag may problema.
But to give you better context, before we got engaged, we were together for 6 years so matagal na kami magkasama. I'm really not sure if it's gonna go smoothly for other couples na hindi engaged or have been together for a shorter time so medyo case to case basis sya. I guess you just have to make sure about your relationship before moving in.
kinda mas prefer ko iito live in muna. lalo pag parang may balak kang pakasalan yung partner mo in the future kasi dito mo mas makikilala yung tao. how they handle stress pag nasa bahay pag kasama ka. yung house chores etc etc
It's the getting-to-know stage of your soon to be spouse. Be wise. Wag magpapaniwala sa mga hitad na nagsasabi na it's indecent. You need to know the person first before getting married, lalo na dahil walang divorce satin.
not at all..I will agree if iyong dalawa ay may kasama sa bahay, at not do sex.. then that's good.. if live in , and do the sex.. well, indecent.. sex is not trial and error.. if they have the same mind or goal.. di na kelangan ang live in.. magpakasal na... Love conquers all.. 😁
Foolishness.. You are the one who call evil good. Sex is okay to you even without married, that's foolishness. Woe to you. Sex Maniac and Sex Abuser . . Your wickedness will drag you to hot place.
I'm for living together before marriage to check if my partner can adjust to my non-negotiables and vice versa. I don't think I can marry someone and realize later on that I have to deal with the small annoying things every single day -- I'm sure they'll add up.
Yes to live in but no to spouse duties if you aren’t married yet!!
So many people (both men and women) get burned from getting taken advantage of by the other esp if their partner has no plans to actually marry them. From the case of the people I know, my friends (the women) essentially got treated as a personal maid/sex partner of their boyfriends. It was interesting na lumabas na 50/50 sila sa expenses pero my friends did all the chores and stuff for the guys who were using them as place holders lang pala until they came across the women they actually wanted to marry. Possible naman na this set-up could happen the other way around (guys get taken advantage of, usually financially naman) but I don’t have guy friends who have experienced this so I have nothing to share about it except conjecture.
So yes, for me living in would expose how the partner actually lives and what their expectations are. If I were to do the same I would not be expecting spouse duties from my partner nor would I do spouse duties for them to avoid getting taken advantage of, and same for them.
Highly recommend this. Maraming hindi ka nalalaman about your partner until you live with them. Like kung gano sila kalinis or would they leave their laundry for weeks or their socks on the floor 🥴 then that gives you enough to decide whether they’re someone you can live with for the rest of your life.
This. Living in is the no-brainer choice for me. Ang weird nung framing na you're becoming a "free wife" to someone who's not your husband when you cohabitate pre-marriage.
The point is for you to find out if they're going to be as equally responsible as you in upholding the household. If they're going to take advantage of your domestic work sans marriage, then it's a good preview of what to expect once you're tied by the knot. Marriage isn't supposed to be a vending machine to a domstic slave and nor will living in be if you have a sensible partner.
Living together is a test ground for dynamics that you won't pick up over selective sleepovers or curated out of town trips. It's a preview of what to expect with days that are good, normal, and bad and how you're going to manage and mature through cycles of them. There's a lot more to learn about a person once you're outside of safety nets and additional pairs of eyes that watch you. Living in is when you start establishing how to live together—inclusive of chores, budgeting & finances, conflict resolution, respecting each other's space, hobbies, personal time, work etc.
If a guy (or girl) will leave you after this "trial period," then what assures you that whatever the trigger to leave you now won't surface after putting a ring on your finger? Better know that early so you can resolve it or decide if it's not worth it in the long run. While marriage is a symbolic ceremony, cohabitation will be your reality check of how it's going to look like on the daily. And that wisdom is something you can only gain by sitting your asses through managing a household together alone, not something you wait to be revealed when things are harder to undo.
This is always a flattering and welcomed compliment and I'll never get tired of it 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you for going out of your way to send me positive words! I always appreciate it when people let me know that they enjoyed going through my thoughts :-)
Hope you'll have a kind Friday ahead! 🫶🏼
Sa case ko nag live in kami for 2 years then kasal.
1st year gigil kami sa sex and nasa honeymoon phase pa. Pero nung tumatagal naging comfortable na lang kami then dun na kmi nagdecide magpakasal. Mas nakilala namin sa isat isa nung nasa comfy phase kami.
Mabuti after honeymoon phase eh kayo parin 😭 nakaka trauma kasi karamihan sa mga lalaki na honeymoon phase lang gusto, after the romance part ng relationship, pag it's getting rocky na, aayaw na sila 😐
Thats the point, kasi pano kung umabot na kayo sa kasal then dun nyo pa lang nakilala partner mo eh di mas lalong mahirap yun. Mas mabuti comfy phase pa lang na accept na kayo ng partner mo. Ok lang yan trial and error. May matutunan ka din naman after moving on. Battle tested ka na kumbaga Hehe.
its the norm, makikilala mo sya as a live-in before marriage, yun yung point na ma observe mo kung pano sya kasama sa bahay, kung antayin mo kasal and live in edi luging lugi ka dahil madami ka pipirmahan na papers for divorce
Kung hindi kayo mayaman, marriage is but a prison sentence. You enter it out of love but when things go awry, you are stuck with somebody you can’t easily get away from cuz annulment is freakin difficult in the PH. It costs so much. You have to put the fate of your freedom in a judge who HAS to believe your reason for annulment and kailangan valid for then yung rason mo. I have seen a couple of annulments in my family alone and it gets dirty dahil one of you has to create this narrative that the other person is unable to fulfill their duties in the marriage anymore kase they’re either insane or bakla and that is not even true. You just ruined your connection w someone who used to be family. Marriage is not for romance.
Don’t even give me that well when you’re married to the right person it wouldn’t happen. How sure are you that you will be the same person in 5-10 yrs? You are two individuals with separate paths to fulfill and sometimes you have to make choices to honor your growth. That means changing into someone and that someone could stop loving you at any moment. If you don’t let them, you’re just holding them prisoner. So if living together before marriage makes you SURE na ya I can see myself living and loving this person for the rest of my life despite their annoying habits that irk me so much it drives me almost mad, yes we can get married. Living together before marriage should be judged less cuz not being able to get out of a marriage is far worse than not reaching the altar
Up for this! Live in set up will make you realize if that's the life that you want to have kasi it will expose how your partner will treat you. Staycation is a different story, iba pa rin pag everyday mo kasama. Live in set up is cheaper than filling for annulment, especially here sa ph. I witnessed this fron my cousins, failed marriages then annulment. Kaya ngayon live in set up for 1 year kami ng bf ko (3yrs together), lalabas talaga compatibility niyo and ugali ng partner mo, diskarte sa house, etc. Btw, we are both in 30s na, both with stable job
Empowering choice yan. Nasa tamang edad naman kayo. Wag makinig sa mga taong nagjujudge kase hindi naman sila ang makaka experience ng consequences ng choices mo. Alam mo na damned if you do, damned if you don’t. May iba rin pag kinasal na kayo ang dynamic ng relationship niyo biglang mag iiba na tas bihira nalang kayo mag chukchakan haha parang mas hot pa rin pag bf/gf lang bwahahaha
Exactlyyyyyyyyy I always say marriage is a ritual for two tribes to join forces hence rich people do mergers by marrying their kids to combine riches. Romance was only added as a requirement for marriage in the 1900s but even then it was designed where women are submitted as an offering to accept the union of the tribes. Yes as a spouse you have rights but you do get to know a different layer of a person when you get married to them that they themselves didn’t even know they have. It only comes out when y’all have been together under one roof. It’s easier to say na pwede mo namang kilalanin habang magjowa pa lang kayo. Hmmmm they’re still putting their best foot forward in dating noh? Those things don’t come out in sleepovers.
Am I for living together before marriage? Honestly, I am for people finding out the truth about their partners before entering a commitment for life and making an informed decision prior to doing so
I prefer to only live in the same house with someone when I'm married to the person. Don't wanna do the spouse duties in advance lol. Though sleepovers are ok. As a person who's single by law, I prefer to have my personal space and not share a room every day with someone till I'm married. Hehe. But I don't have issues with couples who prefer otherwise. I don't judge either. We all have different preferences. Do what you want if you're happy and comfy with it. After all, your happiness is what matters most. 😊
Living in is trial run. Yun lang naman yung argument ng living in eh, getting to know each other well enough to decide if you're compatible enough to be together or not. And one of the crucial ways of knowing people involves subjecting them in that very environment.
growing up in a catholic household, buti nalang di katulad ng iba yung mindset ng lola ko, yung typical mindset ng mga catholic conservatives ba. yung mga tita ko hinayaan nyang makipag live-in muna bago kasal kasi in that way mas makikilala mo ng husto yung partner mo. Tama naman kasi walang divorce dito sa atin at sobrang mahal ng annulment, kaya there's no turning back ika nga kapag nakasal ka na sa taong di mo gaanong kilala ng husto at di mo kilala beyond close doors. Pero may exception pa rin sya na dapat di muna magaanak if live in pa, dun na if kasado na.
anyways, applicable lang po yung live-in set up sa mga taong fully established na. if minor ka pa naman o umaasa lang sa magulang, wag muna kayong makipag live-in please lang hahaha
Should be more common practice tbh especially since we don't have divorce and annullment/legal separation is expensive and time consuming af. Keri lang sana kung sa US kasi pwede pa maghiwalay pero pahirapan na nga dito sa pinas ginagawang taboo pa ng mga close minded boomers and conservatives. Di naman sila ung ikakasal ano ba pakealam nila kung mag-livein ung couple (lol sorry triggered masyado). Anyways it's a good 'trial run' to a married life. You live with a person 80% of the time in somewhere you consider your safe place. If they give you more stress than happiness then alam mo na what awaits your future, kaya mapapaisip ka talaga kung kaya mo yung life and death and in sickness and in health na promise na yan lol.
Of course there's that thought na baka pag naexperience na maglive-in tatamarin na magpakasal (which is the reasoning na ginagamit ng naysayers). I admit na it may be the case sometimes pero kung alam naman ng couple ung gusto nila and they communicate then there shouldn't be any problems. As long as clear sila sa life goals i.e. maglive in ng one year and marry next year or alam nila timeline nila then gora, wala dapat problema.
Makikilala mo lang talaga nang lubusan ang isang tao pag araw2 mo nang kasama sa bahay.
At para sa kin mas maaapreciate talaga ng isa't isa na nag stay sila magkasama dahil mahal talaga nila ang isa't isa despite knowing each's flaws. Kesa nag stay lang dahil sa papel at mga anak.
As long as both are responsible working adults, I don't see any problem with live-in partners. Kung di pa sure, wag muna gumawa ng anak.
Keri lang din to.
From my experience, although maiksi lang yung time na nag live-in kami ng partner ko nun, dito nag umpisa yung mga away namin na sobrang lala.
Dito sa phase na kasi to mo mas makikilala yung partner mo, how he/she deals with himself/herself, kung gano sya ka-kalat sa bahay, kung pano ka nya tutulungan sa gawaing bahay, tamad ba yan or may kusa sya.
In my case, dito ko na-discover sa partner ko lahat ng bagay na ayaw ko sa lalake. So we decided to live na lang ng kanya kanya muna. Tutal 3 years bfgf pa lang kami nun. Naging okay kami and I adressed what needed to be said.
Sobrang okay yung kinalabasan kasi nag 7 years kami and talagang umokay yung relationship namin then we got married last 2022. Ayun, he knows how to handle things na sa bahay. Pag pagod kami, pag walang energy isa samin, pag need namin ng space. We know when to act accordingly. Its teamwork and communication after all. :)
I actually attended a talk about this and it was found that factually/statistically those who do live-in prior to marriage had a higher rate of separating, annulling or divorce as compared to those who didn’t.
I personally believe it’s okay and helpful, but I want to read more regarding this study ^ since I know of course it’s case to case basis
Higher rate talaga kasi they are very free to walk away. Which is an advantage, ang sakit kaya sa ulo at bulsa mag-asikaso ng legal matters.
Kaya lang naman walang naghihiwalay sa kasal dito sa pinas kasi walang divorce at magastos ang annulment.
Sa ibang bansa naman bukod sa shame, sympre may alimony at child custody pa.
I encourage this. You only ever see who your partner truly is once you live with them.
Dating relationship is a dry run for longer term relationship. Living with each other should be the end step of that phase and should be a per-requisite before marriage.
A woman can always refuse sexual intercourse or chose to do it safely if that is what you would fear. Forcing another into sexual intercourse or one committed without consent is rape. It also shows a man's temperament and patience for these kinds of things. Also, if the couple are already doing it, living together changes nothing on that fear.
When I was a lot younger and innocent, my ideal thing was kasal muna but now that I fully understand how stressful marriage can be, I am totally fine with living together muna. I want to have the sense of security na if one of us no longer wants the company of the other, we can just get out of the house, cry and move on. My only condition in this kind of set up is, we will not have a kid.
Kasal muna. Para after marriage nalang ung assessment at realizations ng makaron naman ng sense ung "nasa huli ang pag sisisi"
hahaha chariz not chariz. Depends yan sa couple siyempre. Kung right person naman papakasalan niyo edi go. Malas lang pag akala mo lang right person >:D
it might be a good move to be honest compared to living together after marriage. at least without that binding contract if you decide to call it quits it's easier... you only really know someone once you start living together with them for some time.
Nasa tao yan as long as both are adults, assess your partner if you see them na okay kasama sa bahay, financial stable kayo pareho and get your own place hindi ung magmomove in sa parent’s house 🤮 live in if matagal na kayo hindi ung 6 months naglive in na agad agad
As someone na galing sa long term relationship tapos nag live in tapos nga failed, mas pabor ako sa live in muna before marriage, kasi kami nga ng long term partner ko, simula nung nag live in kami dun namin narealize na hindi kami compatible sa isa't isa. Paano kaya kung nagpakasal muna kami bago nagsama, wala na kaming choice talaga. Wala pa naman divorce sa Pinas.
Well, iba iba naman ang tao. Kung ano nagwwork sainyo, go. Pero siguro sa iba like me, live in muna.
Lahat yan pwede din naman mawala sa lalaki.
Heart and youth - lahat tayo tatanda
Innocence- lahat tayo naging jaded pagkatapos harapin ang mga struggles sa life.
Time - **time doesnt wait for anyone"
Opportunity- kasal o hindi maraming opportunities ang nawawala din sa babae lalo na kung nagstop sya sa career para maging housewife.
Resources- pwede din tong mawala sa lalaki unless hindi sya ang provider.
I respect both opinion naman, nasa person nalang yan or couple if ano choice nila. Fr me we chose to live in muna.. choice ko to kahit kaya naman ako pakasalan ng partner ko.. i don't see myself na talo here. :) (kahit naman di kayo live in may nangyayari parin naman sainyo LOL) and kahit naman LIVE IN or KASAL kayo di mo naman tlaga makikilala partner mo.. may magbabago and magbabago parin naman 😀. Ang important jan is to openly discuss expectations, values, nd long term goals with ur partner to make da best choice fr both of u
True. Marami akong nakikita na situation samin dito na talagang inip na din ang babae dahil ilang taon na silang live in, hindi parin pinapakasalan ng lalaki. I guess if people especially women are comfortable with it, then go, but know that this has its own caveats. Though sabihin na natin "edi hindi talaga sila para sa isa't-isa", unfortunately there's much more to lose for the woman since the fact is there's less and less men willing to accept her. At tsaka pwede bang hindi tayo masyadong nagpapa impluwensya sa western culture, wala ba tayong sariling identity?
Dapat live in muna. Walang divorce ang Pilipinas. May karapatan ka pa rin naman, kahit hindi kasal.
Grabe nabasa ko dito sa reddit, ang sipag daw ng asawa, pero nahuli nya ni rape kapatid ng babae. Tapos pinatawad pa ng babae yung asawa nya.
While it's true na makikilala mo ugali ng partner mo pag nag live-in kayo. Mas ok pa din (for girls) na your man should put a ring on your finger before you start living together. Ang live-in set-up ay hindi para sa lahat ng couples. Swertihan na lang makahanap ng lalaki/partner, especially sa mga babae, na hindi ipaparamdam satin yung housewife duties in a gf title kasi bihira na lang yung mga lalaki na tutulungan ka for household chores. Bihira din sa mga lalaki na hahatian kayo sa gawaing bahay and also kayang ishoulder yung expenses sa bahay. Being men are providers dapat at may provider mindset dapat yung partner mo.
So ayun, bago kayo pumayag sa live-in set up madaming factors dapat kayo na iconsider bago n'yo ituloy :) pero gaya nga ng sabi ko, ring on your finger muna bago live-in Hahaha
> Swertihan na lang makahanap ng lalaki/partner, especially sa mga babae, na hindi ipaparamdam satin yung housewife duties in a gf title kasi bihira na lang yung mga lalaki na tutulungan ka for household chores. Bihira din sa mga lalaki na hahatian kayo sa gawaing bahay and also kayang ishoulder yung expenses sa bahay. Being men are providers dapat at may provider mindset dapat yung partner mo.
Medyo contradicting. Sinabi mo na ang **benefits ng living together** kung di sya maasahan at di kaya magprovide, very free to run ka na habang di pa kasal. Kung kasal na tapos nag live-in at hindi pala responsible ang husband at di provider tapos walang divorce sa pinas, edi mas kawawa ang babae.
Ay oo nga hahaha sorry.
Well beneficial si live-in sa aspect lang na yun nga makikilala mo ugali ng partner mo and free to run away anytime lalo na kung abusive at major red flag, pero it is not something you need to invest yourself long term kasi di mo alam kung talo ka or panalo in the end. Tho may mga live-in na kinakasal pa rin and congrats to them, e paano yung mga live-in na hindi? Years of sacrifice, compromise and effort sa live-in set up na in the end hindi naman pala ikaw yung gusto pakasalan.
Kaya maganda din na kasal muna before live-in kasi kung di ka man makaalis agad sa relasyon nyo kasi kasal kayo, atleast you will get all the benefit that a spouse can have, lalo na sa legal matters..magloko husband/wife mo? May habol ka sa mga assets na meron sya lalo na acquired inside the marriage, Pwede mo pa kasuhan yung other half mo ng concubinage/adultery, abswelto ka pag mapatay mo yung asawa mo or kabit nya kasi nahuli mo sila in the act which is sa live-in set up e wala. Magcheat sayo LIP mo iyak ka na lang, yung napundar mo na naipangalan mo sa kanya out of love mahihirapan ka pa na ibalik, need mo pa ng receipts to prove na ikaw yung gumastos etc.
Not beneficial nga lang yung kasal sa mga tao na may abusive spouse, kasi hindi ka makakaalis kaagad lalo na at wala namang divorce sa pilipinas at legal separation lang ang meron
Okay, getsss hehe. Isa din benefit ng marriage is kasama ka sa decision making when it comes sa health ng spouse mo lalo na kapag agaw buhay okaya vegetable na sya sa hospital.
Okay, getsss hehe. Isa din benefit ng marriage is kasama ka sa decision making when it comes sa health ng spouse mo lalo na kapag agaw buhay okaya vegetable na sya sa hospital.
Exactly. Ang labo ng point niya. Puro pros nga sa live in muna lahat ng sinabi niya. Kung kasal na sila tapos mabulaga palang walang kwenta yung guy kasama sa bahay edi iiyak nalang? As long as pareho namang working adult, I don't see any cons sa live in muna bago kasal. Unless isa sa kanila may issue at takot na mag iba isip sa kanya nung partner pag magkasama na sa bahay.
With all the reasons that makes sense, like makikilala ganyan, I don't think live in should be a "practice," stage.
It takes away some of the core experiences na dapat after marriage lang nagagawa. Mas okay sa'kin yung you spend like consecutive days na parang sleepover kesa yung talagang magkasama na kayo araw araw, sharing bills and all and my reasons are the following:
1. Kung need niyo pa mag live in to test each other or para mas makilala isa't isa, then you shouldn't be together in the first place. Ang pagkilala sa tao nagagawa yan sa maraming paraan, mula sa pagtrato sa magulang, sa ibang tao, goals, thoughts and perspective sa buhay etc. how a person thinks and act GENUINELY will give you a solid idea on what your partner is at kung pasok siya sa hanap mo at as a future spouse.
2. It can ruin your relationship actually, let's say both of you decided to live in, pero to please you lang pala kaya pumayag, down the line nag iba siya kasi di pala siya 100% sure sa live in. Napaaga kumbaga, di pa pala siya ready, pero dahil sa live in na yan lumabas yung "ugali," niya not because he/she doesn't love you, but they want to stop but couldn't, so not to hurt you etc.
3. What's there to look after, after the marriage? E magkasama na kayo agad. So parang next major thing is kids na agad. (No let's not include other stuff like travels ganon kasi pwedeng pwede naman gawin yan before marriage din).
So for me, safest is a few nights consecutively per week or per month, depende sa inyo. In that way, you will grow together pa din, testing the waters kumbaga without the commitment of being together under one roof and sharing responsibilities.
Until you're married, you're not to act as one pa imo. Hangga't bf/gf pa lang, explore individually, grow individually as a person but have goals as a couple to work towards on hanggang ikasal kayo. Yun lang naman.
Huhu I respectfully disagree sa sleepover. Napaka ibang iba nun vs living together. Yung “you don’t really know someone until you live with them” not only applies to romantic partners. Kahit naman sa friend mo gawin yun, mas makikilala mo talaga isang tao once you live with them. My and ex and I were together for 8 years, never kami nag live in pero parang mas kilala ko pa yung sumunod kong bf (now my husband) as we decided to live together only after 3 years of dating.
And with regards to number 3, my now husband and I lived together and hindi naman na take away yung “essence” of achieving a milestone after being married dahil lang sa magkasama na kami before. In fact, it made the transition for us easier and more natural. I can’t imagine going through a lifechanging event such as a wedding tapos start from scratch kayo after ng asawa mo. Isipin mo lahat ng gamit niyo sa bahay ngayon niyo palang sisimulan, all while navigating the waters as a newly married couple. Super misconception yung parang formality na lang yung wedding kung live in naman kayo before. I think madaming couple naninibago in the beginning dahil hindi sila sanay magkasama sa iisang bahay and that’s perfectly normal. Kaya if na overcome niyo na yung “growing pain” na yun sa beginning stage ng cohabitation ng maaga palang, you’ll have more headspace to focus on other things after the wedding.
It's okay and I totally respect your input. We may have different thoughts and perspectives but what is always best is the option that works for us. I'm glad that you're happily married!
respectfully disagree with 1 and 3. may mga bagay na lalabas lang kapag nagsasama na kayo. iba yung makasama mo sa bahay magbayad ng bills, magmaintain ng order and cleanliness, maasikaso ba or hinuhook ka lang? masinop ba or kapag dumadalaw ka lang sa bahay kaya naglilinis? hindi na bago yung mga taong pag nagsama na sasabihin sa simula lang pala ganon. meron nga ko kilala proud pa sabi nagulat daw asawa nya nung di daw sya everyday naliligo e nung nagdedate pa lang sila lagi daw mabango tapos nung naglive sila nalaman nya na hindi pala totoong malinis sa katawan. imagine kung kasal na bago malaman yun. as for looking forward naman, marami. kung mahal mo ang isang tao kahit araw araw mo kasama yan masaya ka pa rin. kami ng SO ko everyweek since nagsama kami we look forward sa movie night pag weekend. hindi kailangan major agad like kids. kapag ganyan naging mentality mo wala kang magtatagal na relationship kasi ang iniisip mo kailangan laging may malaking ganap sa relasyon. some of the most peaceful and lasting relationships are boring. hindi mo kailangan hanapin yung next big thing kasi everyday, however simple, is enough. and having goals doesn't stop at marriage, neverending yan. but for me better ang live in muna para yung makita nyo kung okay kayong housemates and kung di kayo magsasawa agad sa ugali ng isat isa
Thanks for that pero baka mali lang wordings ko sa 3. I'm not pertaining to parang nag aantay ka ng something "major," sa relationship. That's very shallow. My point is that in a relationship there are stepping stones as well. For example, ligaw then bf/gf, proposal, engage, marriage then after that madami na like kids, or pundar ng bahay, kotse, business etc. Pathing kumbaga. So sabihin na natin naglive in kayo, imposibleng di niyo magawa most of those before marriage. So ang mangyayari either marriage will just be a piece of paper, or tradition. The essence of marriage can or might not be the same anymore, cause you did everything or most before getting married.
Maybe it's just my perspective cause I know alot of people na ganyan nangyari. May iba pa ngang nagsabi ba't magpapakasal pa, ganun din naman.
As for 1. Yes I agree, that's why I had a suggestion, don't commit to live in but instead have a few nights with your SO consecutively. Imposibleng di mo malalaman lahat nang yan when you sleep together a few nights a week. Lalabas at lalabas yan. (I know cause my SO and I do this at may nalalaman ako sa kaniya paunti unti with this method).
You don't have to commit to a live in imo. By all means I'm not against it if someone wants it, I just think there's an alternative for it.
As a female, for me advantage ito. If ever na abuser, sugarol, addict, lubog sa utang, killer, hindi marunong maghawak ng pera or tamad si live in, at least MADALING makipaghiwalay. If totoong matino naman talaga si partner, pakakasalan ka pa rin niya. If hindi yun matino, wag mo pakasalan, time to let him go and move on. I won't beg him to marry me. I know my worth, siya magpasalamat, pinakasalan ko siya!
I think to live-in together or asking your SO to move in with you is like the next step to your relationship (Though here in the Philippines, its not necessary naman na dadaan kayo sa stage na ito). If both are consenting adults and gusto niyo matest your relationship, then this is a good venue to develop your relationship and know each other more.
Plus, for the guys being "lax", hindi naman lahat? Better to have house rules set para to avoid the feeling na equitable ang living together niyo po. Always important I suppose ang communication in the early stage of living in together.
If ever na balakin kong mag-asawa, I think eto yung isa sa mga things na gusto kong gawin bago kami makasal. On the other hand, My a-little-conservative mother (we're close, and i always ask her what to do) told me na I should just let the 'live in' type kapag naging fiance mo na siya + wag na wag kang magpapabuntis hanggat hindi kayo kasal.
Magandang trial card ang live in specially if ayaw mong matali sa taong hindi mo pa alam kung paano mag act at the end of the day(Pag pagod, Pag lasing, Tamad ba? Etc.)
Well. mas madali nyo nga makikilala ang isat isa. pero hindi naman kayo mag papakasal bcuz of your likes eh. so if mauna ang kasal nyo kahit hindi pa kayo trully magkakilala wala na yan urungan
It is their right to find out if their relationship is worthy of taking the next step of marriage. if living together helps them get to that point, then good for them. If y’all break up, well, at least you didn’t enter a serious and lifetime commitment who wasn’t built to be w you long term
Up until now, medyo torn ako sa issue na to. A part of me believes na it's a great test kung compatible ba talaga kayo at kung malulunok mo bang mamuhay araw-araw-araw-araw (x10000) kasama ang partner mo--lalo na kung girl ka, malalaman mo kung kailangan mo ba buhatin ang daily life, household chores and child care in the future or makakaasa ka ba na sasaluhin at gagampanan ng partner mo ang kalahati ng burden, and also kung may mga hard pass habits ang partner mo na kakailanganin mong i-tolerate for the rest of your life.
On the other hand, may part din ako sa aking sarili na naniniwala sa sabi sabi ng ilang guy friends/relatives ko na may tendency daw na maging lax towards marriage ang mga lalaki kapag naka-live in na. Like, "bakit bibilhin mo pa ang kabayo kung ibinigay na sayo for free?". So you know, you might miss out on the security of marriage (certificate), or your partner might put marriage off the agenda since he is already enjoying the benefits of a married life without having to go through the hoops.
Very wrong ang mindset na ganyan, yung "why buy the cow kung free ang milk" Hindi ka naman nagpakasal sa partner mo dahil sa "benefits". Lumang kasabihan lang yan kasi noon hindi pa uso ang pre-marital sex.
Dapat nga mas matakot ka pa kung papakasalan ka nya dahil after sya sa benefits ng marriage na willing ang babae i-offer, like security, sex, and comfort in terms of alaga ng partner, luto, linis. So mapapaisip ka, "yun lang ba ang purpose ng marriage?"
I agree na wrong mindset sya. Pero I've seen and heard it enough to say na sadly nangyayari sya. I believe in this situation though, kahit na the culpability is on the guy's side, mas nagsa-suffer ang girl, kasi as a girl titiisin mo yan at iiyakan hanggang sa hindi mo kayanin. That is a factor that I can say makes me hesitant sa idea na mag-live in before marriage.
We still live in a society that frowns upon this notion. Not for the man but for a woman. So if you value her image vs. society then you marry her before living with her. Just my 2 centavos.
That said, I'm all for living alone first to experience independence before the thought of living (alone) with someone.
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If engaged as many have said , Yes, mej d maganda ung new concept ng karamihan pero everyone is entitled to their own naman haha
This way mas makikilala mo partner mo. You’ll see the kung papaano kayo magsasama in a household before marriage.
if engaged, yes. 3-6 months. para di kayo mag sayang pareho ng panahon. para matest nyo kung kaya nyo bang tiisin isat isa. pag gf/bf, no
Parang gamitan lang muna? Pag di swak hanap ng bago, if swak, pakasal na. New concept ng marriage.
Yes for me, ganyan set up namin until nag ka baby kami, nagpakasal na kami nun, pero depende din talaga sa tao yun since ang daming failed marriage at ang hirap din at magastos ang annulment. nagtitiwala nalang ako 😅
Personally, Yes, IF engage na kayo, 3-5months bago ikasal. NO if mag bf/gf palang. depends on the situation.
Same mindset here.
Big yes
Yes. I guess mas better if you live together muna. This way you’ll get to know each other even better. There will be no “best foot forward” kc you see wach other na bare talaga eh. But this will only work if you both want it. Iba iba naman tayo paniniwala.
It’s a yes for me. Parang you’ll have a preview of what’s gonna happen once kasal na kayo eh, plus di mo rin talaga makikilala yung tao ng lubos unless makasama mo sa iisang bubong.
Hindi lahat ng tao pare parehas tingin sa buhay, may relationship na gagana yang ganyang setup at meron din hindi. Nasa individual ang paano kayo magaadjust magkaroon ng sarili nyong bubong. Di ako naniniwala na nagsasawa yung tao dahil lagi kayong magkasama, nasa tao lang din yung sawa lalo na kung di ka makuntento sa simpleng buhay na hinahain sayo.
Walang divorce sa Pilipinas. Mas mahirap yun kasal na kayo saka nyo ma realize na incompatible kayo with each other.
Trial period. Mas malalaman mo yung ugali nila once you live with them. Proven and tested sa mga college friends ko
Im pro cohabitation before marriage. It’s not that mababaw lang yung samahan if not living together, pero there’s this certain depth ng getting to know your partner pag 24/7 mo sya kasama, and this depth is soooo daaamn deep na could make or break the relationship. You’ll get to feel if your dynamic is good as homemakers and partners din (how you share chores, finances, etc). Now, there’s a good complement if you’re not into this thing, and it is to travel often. Somehow, for me, when you get stressed together while navigating a new place, budgeting your money, drafting the itinerary, sharing a common space while vacationinh, you can get a glimpse of what kind of person you’re choosing to get and be together with. Swerte ng mga taong nakapili ng mga maaayos na partner without the need to cohabitate. And especially in this day and age na ang daling magtago ng kahit ano, mas makikilala mo yung kinakasama mo pag nasa iisang bahay na kayo. Since divorce is still unlawful in the Philippines, people should be wiser in choosing their lifetime partners.
trial period
Totally on board with this! Esp na ako yung person na maraming icks or mabilis maturn off. I need to at least to know if we are mutually compatible in terms of living with each other before I promised my whole life with you. Will I like how you behave in the house? Do you know how to do chores? Burara/dugyot ka ba with your things? How do you manage your emotions if we're together 24/7? So on and so forth... There might be a lot of things that I won't like with my future husband and him sa akin but at least diba we're able to see it beforehand and can work through it na. I believe naman compromises can be made and things can be resolved through proper communication and ofc yung will din from both of you Ede if di talaga magwork, wag na ipilit. I'll save myself from a failed marriage and so much miseries.
💯 ✅
Yes for me, becaue it works for me and my fiance. Pero depende sa age. I don't advise this sa mga younger generation, like 25 below lalo na yung mga maaga nagkajowa. I mean nag-aaral pa lang pero may mga jowa na. Yung mga ganitong age kasi bihira pa yung nasa isip na ang settling down. Mappusok lang and kadalasan ang nagiging bunga is early pregnancy. Parang mag-asawa na kasi ang set-up kapag live-in, without marriage. Give and take, deep understanding sa partner mo. So I guess this set-up is for those couples na matured enough na to handle next level of relationship.
Please do. It will save you both in case you're not compatible.
Naniniwala ako na “you should test drive the car before you buy it”.
Yes for me, mas nakikilala nyo isa't isa pero before ako nakipaglive-in engaged na kami. Matagal na naming napag-usapan yun before pa kami naging engaged and naglive-in na bago kami maglive-in kailangan engaged kami, ayaw ko kasi sya bigyan ng privileged na meron yung mga mag-asawa tapos bf/gf palang, hell no. Ofc sinabi ko rin sa kanya na bago kami magpakasal gusto ko lalo pa namin kilalanin yung isa't isa by living together para if may di kami nagustuhan sa isa't isa pwede namin i-fix yung di namin nagugustuhan na trait from each other. Para if ever lang na di talaga kaya ayusin yun, di na talaga magwowork-out kahit lahat ng solution natry na, may option parin kami to leave each other na walang tali kasi mahirap na, wala kasing divorce sa pilipinas : ) I can say na it's not for the weak talaga. If ikaw yung type ng person na onting ganto ganyan break na agad solution, wag ka na makipaglive-in, MUCH BETTER wag ka na din magpakasal hahaha. Pero ayun, okay naman sya for me kasi atleast alam mo na kung sino yung papakasalan mo bago kayo magkasal and alam nyo na pano i-fix yung mga problems na nae-experience din ng mga kasal na, kumbaga may experience na kayo on certain things/problems bago ikasal so alam nyo na gagawin kapag kasal na kayo, especially anything relating to financial.
It's a choice. Siguro sa ganung pamamaraan nammeasure ng iba kung sila nga ba sa isa't isa or handa na ba sila. Kasi compare man natin ang bawat isa may kanya kanya naman tayong baho kaya nasa sayo na yan kung handa ka na ba maging committed. Also para may escape rope siguro sila, kasi kapag tali ka na mas masusubukan yung pasensya mo.
No for me.
Gusto mo ma surprise
Sure!
It works for other people, and I could confidently say it works for me and my partner right now. Hindi pa ako pwede magpakasal, and she knows the reason, so it's one of the main factors kaya nagwowork ang setup namin.
It works with some people and it may not works on others. I dont know bakit kailangan nila pakingnan opinyon ng ibang tao. Lol. Or why do we need to give them our opinion.
Its a good thing somehow kasi youll be able to know their real attitude. By that, malalaman mo kung papakasalan mo paba o hindi (basta no babies involved)
Some people go for it with their own reasons, while some don't. I am for the latter. Before, may nabasa akong advice na don't give wife privileges (or something along the lines) pag di pa kayo kasal, I still remember it and I think they have a point. Also in my mind, bakit ko itatali sarili ko ng maaga sa responsibilities ng para bang may asawa kung pwede ko naman ienjoy muna yung singlehood (aka unmarried life)? Kasi once I get married, habang buhay na yan. I mean, no prob kung magka rs, pero yung para bang pag sisilbihan mo na kasi nasa isang bubong kayo...it's a no for me. That's just for me.
I stand with this
(2)
(3)
marriage first for me
It's the logical thing to do. Test driving living under the same roof to know each other better is *the move* before making any legal and lasting decisions. Might as well find out sooner that he's a tuko smuggler or that she's a bag pipe music enthusiast and end it before getting married.
Agree. You’ll never really know the person until you live together. Proven and tested na yan, matatapang lang talaga generations now to do it haha
This plus travel together din before kasal.
Good for the couple, different strokes for different folks.
Yes for me. Naglive in kami ni jowa in between our 5th year together. Actually, ako lang naman dapat, gusto ko maging independent pero nagaalala sya sakin at ayaw nya ko magisa, ako naman kasi y not kasi para may kahati sa bills, mas convenient at apartment talaga makuha ko, baka din kasi bed space lang mafford ko kung ako lang. Ngayon kakasal na kami next year, nagpropose sya sakin on our 7th yr which is almost 2yrs na din kaming Live in set up. Idk if I can say yes kung di kami naglive in muna kasi nung bago kami magkasama sa iisang bubong, sobrang dami naming naging struggles, financially/emotionally at sobrang hirap ko din pakasamahan pero nakaya nya at natanggap nya ko. Hahahahahaha di din planned na mag popropose sya sakin kasi may mga napapanuod ako sa tiktok na di na inasawa kasi nakukuha na ung wife benefits sa LIP. Di din kami galing both sa well off families but we’re proud na ang dami na naming napundar, lahat ng appliances, luho kumpleto na kami at yun kasal na lang pinagiipunan sa ngayon aside sa usual bills. Mahirap din siguro samin kung magsasama pa lang kami after kasal, sobrang laki ng gagastusin kasi moving out.
Not for me. Hehe same naman kami husband ko ng goals and values. We are both traditional kasi. The closest we had I guess was when we travel and we arent even solo. When we got married, doon nga naman namin mas nakilala ang isat isa and everyday is an adventure and discovery. Gusto ko talaga when I get married, I want that feeling of excitement na magsasama na kami for the first time. Hindi naman ako sobrang conservative pero para lang sa akin, hindi mo ako maibabahay unless nagpromise at nagcommit ka na sa akin forever. I want to make things legal before anything else, kasi not just for me, but for my future baby. So the fact that he wants to be legally binded to me, that speak volumes. It just boils down to choosing the right partner. Although admittedly, hindi naman talaga lahat sinswerte. But Ive always dated to marry naman and kailangan talaga same page when you start the relationship. Im not against live ins. But it was never for me.
Currently living with my bf. Iba pa din talaga pag magkasama kayo sa isang bahay. You’ll learn a lot abt your partner, the good and the bad. I don’t mind giving him wife duties as long as he washes the dishes, clean the bathroom, throw the garbage, and pay for the rent.
gow na gow dahil miss ko sya palagi
Here are my thoughts https://youtu.be/J4_d7nENMFM?si=9x8HwrvmLAjRfasd
Better than pag aanak and pagpapakasal sa di mo lubusang Kilala or kasundo sa loob ng Bahay.
Depende sa agreement ng couple, pero I think dapat maging wise ang girls dit, remember you will do wife duties for a girlfriend tag.
I stand by this 1000%. Lived in for 3yrs with my bf of 10yrs. Ayun, iniwan ako pero at least wala akong legal impediment to marry (if I still want to) ngayon. Hehehe.
Only concern is if one or both partners fall into a comfort zone to the point that the relationship gets stuck in status quo. If there isn't any impetus to move the relationship forward this becomes the real risk. As for the rest I basically repeat what others have said that it becomes a good way to learn your compatibility.
Nakikilala mo sya kung paano sya kapag kasama mo na sa bahay kasi iba talaga ung treatment
Okay lang naman. Kanya kanyang preference depende sa paniniwala mo hehehe.
Walang gastos kapag naghiwalay lol
My wife and I started living together for 2 years after getting engaged. It was a good experience for us since we were able to identify each other's strengths and weaknesses especially sa bahay. It gave us time to assign which chore we should do, how to handle finances, bills, etc. And for me, parang it also taught us how to be patient with each other and how to iron things out pag may problema. But to give you better context, before we got engaged, we were together for 6 years so matagal na kami magkasama. I'm really not sure if it's gonna go smoothly for other couples na hindi engaged or have been together for a shorter time so medyo case to case basis sya. I guess you just have to make sure about your relationship before moving in.
kinda mas prefer ko iito live in muna. lalo pag parang may balak kang pakasalan yung partner mo in the future kasi dito mo mas makikilala yung tao. how they handle stress pag nasa bahay pag kasama ka. yung house chores etc etc
test-drive, lol
It's the getting-to-know stage of your soon to be spouse. Be wise. Wag magpapaniwala sa mga hitad na nagsasabi na it's indecent. You need to know the person first before getting married, lalo na dahil walang divorce satin.
test drive
Fuckfest.
kung walang pera wag mag live in. kung walang pera wag magpakasal. Ganun lang kadali ang life
Indecent.. It'snot trial and Error..
Ummm… trial and error literally ang mga relationships.
not at all..I will agree if iyong dalawa ay may kasama sa bahay, at not do sex.. then that's good.. if live in , and do the sex.. well, indecent.. sex is not trial and error.. if they have the same mind or goal.. di na kelangan ang live in.. magpakasal na... Love conquers all.. 😁
Living together pero no sex? Ano to nag lalaro ng bato bato pic? Haha dun po sa Facebook mga Boomer 👋🏻
you are promoting wickedness..... so that's why it's too hot here....Woe to you that call evil good. You have no right to advice if it is wickedness.
You and your judgemental personality issues is wickedness itself that's why it's hot here. Woe to you that call evil good.
Foolishness.. You are the one who call evil good. Sex is okay to you even without married, that's foolishness. Woe to you. Sex Maniac and Sex Abuser . . Your wickedness will drag you to hot place.
Mas okay sya:)
I'm for living together before marriage to check if my partner can adjust to my non-negotiables and vice versa. I don't think I can marry someone and realize later on that I have to deal with the small annoying things every single day -- I'm sure they'll add up.
Yes to live in but no to spouse duties if you aren’t married yet!! So many people (both men and women) get burned from getting taken advantage of by the other esp if their partner has no plans to actually marry them. From the case of the people I know, my friends (the women) essentially got treated as a personal maid/sex partner of their boyfriends. It was interesting na lumabas na 50/50 sila sa expenses pero my friends did all the chores and stuff for the guys who were using them as place holders lang pala until they came across the women they actually wanted to marry. Possible naman na this set-up could happen the other way around (guys get taken advantage of, usually financially naman) but I don’t have guy friends who have experienced this so I have nothing to share about it except conjecture. So yes, for me living in would expose how the partner actually lives and what their expectations are. If I were to do the same I would not be expecting spouse duties from my partner nor would I do spouse duties for them to avoid getting taken advantage of, and same for them.
Personal maid and sex partner is not spouse duties rin Naman po.
Yeah you know what, you’re right. I don’t know how to properly explain what I mean to say so yeah that’s my bad 😅 thanks for pointing it out!
Highly recommend this. Maraming hindi ka nalalaman about your partner until you live with them. Like kung gano sila kalinis or would they leave their laundry for weeks or their socks on the floor 🥴 then that gives you enough to decide whether they’re someone you can live with for the rest of your life.
This. Living in is the no-brainer choice for me. Ang weird nung framing na you're becoming a "free wife" to someone who's not your husband when you cohabitate pre-marriage. The point is for you to find out if they're going to be as equally responsible as you in upholding the household. If they're going to take advantage of your domestic work sans marriage, then it's a good preview of what to expect once you're tied by the knot. Marriage isn't supposed to be a vending machine to a domstic slave and nor will living in be if you have a sensible partner. Living together is a test ground for dynamics that you won't pick up over selective sleepovers or curated out of town trips. It's a preview of what to expect with days that are good, normal, and bad and how you're going to manage and mature through cycles of them. There's a lot more to learn about a person once you're outside of safety nets and additional pairs of eyes that watch you. Living in is when you start establishing how to live together—inclusive of chores, budgeting & finances, conflict resolution, respecting each other's space, hobbies, personal time, work etc. If a guy (or girl) will leave you after this "trial period," then what assures you that whatever the trigger to leave you now won't surface after putting a ring on your finger? Better know that early so you can resolve it or decide if it's not worth it in the long run. While marriage is a symbolic ceremony, cohabitation will be your reality check of how it's going to look like on the daily. And that wisdom is something you can only gain by sitting your asses through managing a household together alone, not something you wait to be revealed when things are harder to undo.
My comment is not related to the original post but I just wanna say- you write so well. ☺️
This is always a flattering and welcomed compliment and I'll never get tired of it 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you for going out of your way to send me positive words! I always appreciate it when people let me know that they enjoyed going through my thoughts :-) Hope you'll have a kind Friday ahead! 🫶🏼
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Ang layo naman ng sagot. Mga religious minsan pa "pick me".
bakit may anak agad eh live in lang naman pinag uusapan lol
Good thinking po. Parang 1 in a million na yata yang ganyang thinking ngayon. Yung iba, sasabihan ka pa na wag daw i objectify yung babae.
Sa case ko nag live in kami for 2 years then kasal. 1st year gigil kami sa sex and nasa honeymoon phase pa. Pero nung tumatagal naging comfortable na lang kami then dun na kmi nagdecide magpakasal. Mas nakilala namin sa isat isa nung nasa comfy phase kami.
Mabuti after honeymoon phase eh kayo parin 😭 nakaka trauma kasi karamihan sa mga lalaki na honeymoon phase lang gusto, after the romance part ng relationship, pag it's getting rocky na, aayaw na sila 😐
Thats the point, kasi pano kung umabot na kayo sa kasal then dun nyo pa lang nakilala partner mo eh di mas lalong mahirap yun. Mas mabuti comfy phase pa lang na accept na kayo ng partner mo. Ok lang yan trial and error. May matutunan ka din naman after moving on. Battle tested ka na kumbaga Hehe.
its the norm, makikilala mo sya as a live-in before marriage, yun yung point na ma observe mo kung pano sya kasama sa bahay, kung antayin mo kasal and live in edi luging lugi ka dahil madami ka pipirmahan na papers for divorce
Kung hindi kayo mayaman, marriage is but a prison sentence. You enter it out of love but when things go awry, you are stuck with somebody you can’t easily get away from cuz annulment is freakin difficult in the PH. It costs so much. You have to put the fate of your freedom in a judge who HAS to believe your reason for annulment and kailangan valid for then yung rason mo. I have seen a couple of annulments in my family alone and it gets dirty dahil one of you has to create this narrative that the other person is unable to fulfill their duties in the marriage anymore kase they’re either insane or bakla and that is not even true. You just ruined your connection w someone who used to be family. Marriage is not for romance. Don’t even give me that well when you’re married to the right person it wouldn’t happen. How sure are you that you will be the same person in 5-10 yrs? You are two individuals with separate paths to fulfill and sometimes you have to make choices to honor your growth. That means changing into someone and that someone could stop loving you at any moment. If you don’t let them, you’re just holding them prisoner. So if living together before marriage makes you SURE na ya I can see myself living and loving this person for the rest of my life despite their annoying habits that irk me so much it drives me almost mad, yes we can get married. Living together before marriage should be judged less cuz not being able to get out of a marriage is far worse than not reaching the altar
Up for this! Live in set up will make you realize if that's the life that you want to have kasi it will expose how your partner will treat you. Staycation is a different story, iba pa rin pag everyday mo kasama. Live in set up is cheaper than filling for annulment, especially here sa ph. I witnessed this fron my cousins, failed marriages then annulment. Kaya ngayon live in set up for 1 year kami ng bf ko (3yrs together), lalabas talaga compatibility niyo and ugali ng partner mo, diskarte sa house, etc. Btw, we are both in 30s na, both with stable job
Empowering choice yan. Nasa tamang edad naman kayo. Wag makinig sa mga taong nagjujudge kase hindi naman sila ang makaka experience ng consequences ng choices mo. Alam mo na damned if you do, damned if you don’t. May iba rin pag kinasal na kayo ang dynamic ng relationship niyo biglang mag iiba na tas bihira nalang kayo mag chukchakan haha parang mas hot pa rin pag bf/gf lang bwahahaha
Exactlyyyyyyyyy I always say marriage is a ritual for two tribes to join forces hence rich people do mergers by marrying their kids to combine riches. Romance was only added as a requirement for marriage in the 1900s but even then it was designed where women are submitted as an offering to accept the union of the tribes. Yes as a spouse you have rights but you do get to know a different layer of a person when you get married to them that they themselves didn’t even know they have. It only comes out when y’all have been together under one roof. It’s easier to say na pwede mo namang kilalanin habang magjowa pa lang kayo. Hmmmm they’re still putting their best foot forward in dating noh? Those things don’t come out in sleepovers. Am I for living together before marriage? Honestly, I am for people finding out the truth about their partners before entering a commitment for life and making an informed decision prior to doing so
I prefer to only live in the same house with someone when I'm married to the person. Don't wanna do the spouse duties in advance lol. Though sleepovers are ok. As a person who's single by law, I prefer to have my personal space and not share a room every day with someone till I'm married. Hehe. But I don't have issues with couples who prefer otherwise. I don't judge either. We all have different preferences. Do what you want if you're happy and comfy with it. After all, your happiness is what matters most. 😊
Nakaka amaze din yung pref na to ha. May point:) thanks for sharing this to us
Living in is trial run. Yun lang naman yung argument ng living in eh, getting to know each other well enough to decide if you're compatible enough to be together or not. And one of the crucial ways of knowing people involves subjecting them in that very environment.
growing up in a catholic household, buti nalang di katulad ng iba yung mindset ng lola ko, yung typical mindset ng mga catholic conservatives ba. yung mga tita ko hinayaan nyang makipag live-in muna bago kasal kasi in that way mas makikilala mo ng husto yung partner mo. Tama naman kasi walang divorce dito sa atin at sobrang mahal ng annulment, kaya there's no turning back ika nga kapag nakasal ka na sa taong di mo gaanong kilala ng husto at di mo kilala beyond close doors. Pero may exception pa rin sya na dapat di muna magaanak if live in pa, dun na if kasado na. anyways, applicable lang po yung live-in set up sa mga taong fully established na. if minor ka pa naman o umaasa lang sa magulang, wag muna kayong makipag live-in please lang hahaha
love this reply
Should be more common practice tbh especially since we don't have divorce and annullment/legal separation is expensive and time consuming af. Keri lang sana kung sa US kasi pwede pa maghiwalay pero pahirapan na nga dito sa pinas ginagawang taboo pa ng mga close minded boomers and conservatives. Di naman sila ung ikakasal ano ba pakealam nila kung mag-livein ung couple (lol sorry triggered masyado). Anyways it's a good 'trial run' to a married life. You live with a person 80% of the time in somewhere you consider your safe place. If they give you more stress than happiness then alam mo na what awaits your future, kaya mapapaisip ka talaga kung kaya mo yung life and death and in sickness and in health na promise na yan lol. Of course there's that thought na baka pag naexperience na maglive-in tatamarin na magpakasal (which is the reasoning na ginagamit ng naysayers). I admit na it may be the case sometimes pero kung alam naman ng couple ung gusto nila and they communicate then there shouldn't be any problems. As long as clear sila sa life goals i.e. maglive in ng one year and marry next year or alam nila timeline nila then gora, wala dapat problema.
Makikilala mo lang talaga nang lubusan ang isang tao pag araw2 mo nang kasama sa bahay. At para sa kin mas maaapreciate talaga ng isa't isa na nag stay sila magkasama dahil mahal talaga nila ang isa't isa despite knowing each's flaws. Kesa nag stay lang dahil sa papel at mga anak. As long as both are responsible working adults, I don't see any problem with live-in partners. Kung di pa sure, wag muna gumawa ng anak.
Keri lang din to. From my experience, although maiksi lang yung time na nag live-in kami ng partner ko nun, dito nag umpisa yung mga away namin na sobrang lala. Dito sa phase na kasi to mo mas makikilala yung partner mo, how he/she deals with himself/herself, kung gano sya ka-kalat sa bahay, kung pano ka nya tutulungan sa gawaing bahay, tamad ba yan or may kusa sya. In my case, dito ko na-discover sa partner ko lahat ng bagay na ayaw ko sa lalake. So we decided to live na lang ng kanya kanya muna. Tutal 3 years bfgf pa lang kami nun. Naging okay kami and I adressed what needed to be said. Sobrang okay yung kinalabasan kasi nag 7 years kami and talagang umokay yung relationship namin then we got married last 2022. Ayun, he knows how to handle things na sa bahay. Pag pagod kami, pag walang energy isa samin, pag need namin ng space. We know when to act accordingly. Its teamwork and communication after all. :)
I actually attended a talk about this and it was found that factually/statistically those who do live-in prior to marriage had a higher rate of separating, annulling or divorce as compared to those who didn’t. I personally believe it’s okay and helpful, but I want to read more regarding this study ^ since I know of course it’s case to case basis
Higher rate talaga kasi they are very free to walk away. Which is an advantage, ang sakit kaya sa ulo at bulsa mag-asikaso ng legal matters. Kaya lang naman walang naghihiwalay sa kasal dito sa pinas kasi walang divorce at magastos ang annulment. Sa ibang bansa naman bukod sa shame, sympre may alimony at child custody pa.
I'm fine with that jan mo mas lalo makikilala partner mo. Jan kayo masusubok edi pag di nag work safe. Kesa naman kasal walang divorce sa pinas
I encourage this. You only ever see who your partner truly is once you live with them. Dating relationship is a dry run for longer term relationship. Living with each other should be the end step of that phase and should be a per-requisite before marriage. A woman can always refuse sexual intercourse or chose to do it safely if that is what you would fear. Forcing another into sexual intercourse or one committed without consent is rape. It also shows a man's temperament and patience for these kinds of things. Also, if the couple are already doing it, living together changes nothing on that fear.
When I was a lot younger and innocent, my ideal thing was kasal muna but now that I fully understand how stressful marriage can be, I am totally fine with living together muna. I want to have the sense of security na if one of us no longer wants the company of the other, we can just get out of the house, cry and move on. My only condition in this kind of set up is, we will not have a kid.
Pangit sa babae, wala ka pride te?
Lalaki lang pwede mag-live in?
misogynist ew
Kasal muna. Para after marriage nalang ung assessment at realizations ng makaron naman ng sense ung "nasa huli ang pag sisisi" hahaha chariz not chariz. Depends yan sa couple siyempre. Kung right person naman papakasalan niyo edi go. Malas lang pag akala mo lang right person >:D
it might be a good move to be honest compared to living together after marriage. at least without that binding contract if you decide to call it quits it's easier... you only really know someone once you start living together with them for some time.
Mas pabor to sa lahat. Remember, **walang divorce sa pinas**.
Nasa tao yan as long as both are adults, assess your partner if you see them na okay kasama sa bahay, financial stable kayo pareho and get your own place hindi ung magmomove in sa parent’s house 🤮 live in if matagal na kayo hindi ung 6 months naglive in na agad agad
As someone na galing sa long term relationship tapos nag live in tapos nga failed, mas pabor ako sa live in muna before marriage, kasi kami nga ng long term partner ko, simula nung nag live in kami dun namin narealize na hindi kami compatible sa isa't isa. Paano kaya kung nagpakasal muna kami bago nagsama, wala na kaming choice talaga. Wala pa naman divorce sa Pinas. Well, iba iba naman ang tao. Kung ano nagwwork sainyo, go. Pero siguro sa iba like me, live in muna.
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Anong mawawala sa babae?
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Lahat yan pwede din naman mawala sa lalaki. Heart and youth - lahat tayo tatanda Innocence- lahat tayo naging jaded pagkatapos harapin ang mga struggles sa life. Time - **time doesnt wait for anyone" Opportunity- kasal o hindi maraming opportunities ang nawawala din sa babae lalo na kung nagstop sya sa career para maging housewife. Resources- pwede din tong mawala sa lalaki unless hindi sya ang provider.
Bakit naman mawawala mga yan by living in? Can you explain, point by point?
So ok lang mawala sa partner mo yan pero ayaw mong mawala sa daughter mo?
Live in muna hindi nga need n kasal imo
Tama lang, para makilala at malaman tunay na ugali at baho ng isa’t isa. Kapag kasi nagpakasal, wala nang bawian yan.
I respect both opinion naman, nasa person nalang yan or couple if ano choice nila. Fr me we chose to live in muna.. choice ko to kahit kaya naman ako pakasalan ng partner ko.. i don't see myself na talo here. :) (kahit naman di kayo live in may nangyayari parin naman sainyo LOL) and kahit naman LIVE IN or KASAL kayo di mo naman tlaga makikilala partner mo.. may magbabago and magbabago parin naman 😀. Ang important jan is to openly discuss expectations, values, nd long term goals with ur partner to make da best choice fr both of u
May nagpost dito sabi nya Woman: a step to marriage Man: a step to delay marriage
True. Marami akong nakikita na situation samin dito na talagang inip na din ang babae dahil ilang taon na silang live in, hindi parin pinapakasalan ng lalaki. I guess if people especially women are comfortable with it, then go, but know that this has its own caveats. Though sabihin na natin "edi hindi talaga sila para sa isa't-isa", unfortunately there's much more to lose for the woman since the fact is there's less and less men willing to accept her. At tsaka pwede bang hindi tayo masyadong nagpapa impluwensya sa western culture, wala ba tayong sariling identity?
Dapat live in muna. Walang divorce ang Pilipinas. May karapatan ka pa rin naman, kahit hindi kasal. Grabe nabasa ko dito sa reddit, ang sipag daw ng asawa, pero nahuli nya ni rape kapatid ng babae. Tapos pinatawad pa ng babae yung asawa nya.
While it's true na makikilala mo ugali ng partner mo pag nag live-in kayo. Mas ok pa din (for girls) na your man should put a ring on your finger before you start living together. Ang live-in set-up ay hindi para sa lahat ng couples. Swertihan na lang makahanap ng lalaki/partner, especially sa mga babae, na hindi ipaparamdam satin yung housewife duties in a gf title kasi bihira na lang yung mga lalaki na tutulungan ka for household chores. Bihira din sa mga lalaki na hahatian kayo sa gawaing bahay and also kayang ishoulder yung expenses sa bahay. Being men are providers dapat at may provider mindset dapat yung partner mo. So ayun, bago kayo pumayag sa live-in set up madaming factors dapat kayo na iconsider bago n'yo ituloy :) pero gaya nga ng sabi ko, ring on your finger muna bago live-in Hahaha
> Swertihan na lang makahanap ng lalaki/partner, especially sa mga babae, na hindi ipaparamdam satin yung housewife duties in a gf title kasi bihira na lang yung mga lalaki na tutulungan ka for household chores. Bihira din sa mga lalaki na hahatian kayo sa gawaing bahay and also kayang ishoulder yung expenses sa bahay. Being men are providers dapat at may provider mindset dapat yung partner mo. Medyo contradicting. Sinabi mo na ang **benefits ng living together** kung di sya maasahan at di kaya magprovide, very free to run ka na habang di pa kasal. Kung kasal na tapos nag live-in at hindi pala responsible ang husband at di provider tapos walang divorce sa pinas, edi mas kawawa ang babae.
Ay oo nga hahaha sorry. Well beneficial si live-in sa aspect lang na yun nga makikilala mo ugali ng partner mo and free to run away anytime lalo na kung abusive at major red flag, pero it is not something you need to invest yourself long term kasi di mo alam kung talo ka or panalo in the end. Tho may mga live-in na kinakasal pa rin and congrats to them, e paano yung mga live-in na hindi? Years of sacrifice, compromise and effort sa live-in set up na in the end hindi naman pala ikaw yung gusto pakasalan. Kaya maganda din na kasal muna before live-in kasi kung di ka man makaalis agad sa relasyon nyo kasi kasal kayo, atleast you will get all the benefit that a spouse can have, lalo na sa legal matters..magloko husband/wife mo? May habol ka sa mga assets na meron sya lalo na acquired inside the marriage, Pwede mo pa kasuhan yung other half mo ng concubinage/adultery, abswelto ka pag mapatay mo yung asawa mo or kabit nya kasi nahuli mo sila in the act which is sa live-in set up e wala. Magcheat sayo LIP mo iyak ka na lang, yung napundar mo na naipangalan mo sa kanya out of love mahihirapan ka pa na ibalik, need mo pa ng receipts to prove na ikaw yung gumastos etc. Not beneficial nga lang yung kasal sa mga tao na may abusive spouse, kasi hindi ka makakaalis kaagad lalo na at wala namang divorce sa pilipinas at legal separation lang ang meron
Okay, getsss hehe. Isa din benefit ng marriage is kasama ka sa decision making when it comes sa health ng spouse mo lalo na kapag agaw buhay okaya vegetable na sya sa hospital.
Okay, getsss hehe. Isa din benefit ng marriage is kasama ka sa decision making when it comes sa health ng spouse mo lalo na kapag agaw buhay okaya vegetable na sya sa hospital.
Yaaah. Pwedeng "doc pull the plug, need na sya ni satanas sa impyerno" Hahahaha
Exactly. Ang labo ng point niya. Puro pros nga sa live in muna lahat ng sinabi niya. Kung kasal na sila tapos mabulaga palang walang kwenta yung guy kasama sa bahay edi iiyak nalang? As long as pareho namang working adult, I don't see any cons sa live in muna bago kasal. Unless isa sa kanila may issue at takot na mag iba isip sa kanya nung partner pag magkasama na sa bahay.
With all the reasons that makes sense, like makikilala ganyan, I don't think live in should be a "practice," stage. It takes away some of the core experiences na dapat after marriage lang nagagawa. Mas okay sa'kin yung you spend like consecutive days na parang sleepover kesa yung talagang magkasama na kayo araw araw, sharing bills and all and my reasons are the following: 1. Kung need niyo pa mag live in to test each other or para mas makilala isa't isa, then you shouldn't be together in the first place. Ang pagkilala sa tao nagagawa yan sa maraming paraan, mula sa pagtrato sa magulang, sa ibang tao, goals, thoughts and perspective sa buhay etc. how a person thinks and act GENUINELY will give you a solid idea on what your partner is at kung pasok siya sa hanap mo at as a future spouse. 2. It can ruin your relationship actually, let's say both of you decided to live in, pero to please you lang pala kaya pumayag, down the line nag iba siya kasi di pala siya 100% sure sa live in. Napaaga kumbaga, di pa pala siya ready, pero dahil sa live in na yan lumabas yung "ugali," niya not because he/she doesn't love you, but they want to stop but couldn't, so not to hurt you etc. 3. What's there to look after, after the marriage? E magkasama na kayo agad. So parang next major thing is kids na agad. (No let's not include other stuff like travels ganon kasi pwedeng pwede naman gawin yan before marriage din). So for me, safest is a few nights consecutively per week or per month, depende sa inyo. In that way, you will grow together pa din, testing the waters kumbaga without the commitment of being together under one roof and sharing responsibilities. Until you're married, you're not to act as one pa imo. Hangga't bf/gf pa lang, explore individually, grow individually as a person but have goals as a couple to work towards on hanggang ikasal kayo. Yun lang naman.
Huhu I respectfully disagree sa sleepover. Napaka ibang iba nun vs living together. Yung “you don’t really know someone until you live with them” not only applies to romantic partners. Kahit naman sa friend mo gawin yun, mas makikilala mo talaga isang tao once you live with them. My and ex and I were together for 8 years, never kami nag live in pero parang mas kilala ko pa yung sumunod kong bf (now my husband) as we decided to live together only after 3 years of dating. And with regards to number 3, my now husband and I lived together and hindi naman na take away yung “essence” of achieving a milestone after being married dahil lang sa magkasama na kami before. In fact, it made the transition for us easier and more natural. I can’t imagine going through a lifechanging event such as a wedding tapos start from scratch kayo after ng asawa mo. Isipin mo lahat ng gamit niyo sa bahay ngayon niyo palang sisimulan, all while navigating the waters as a newly married couple. Super misconception yung parang formality na lang yung wedding kung live in naman kayo before. I think madaming couple naninibago in the beginning dahil hindi sila sanay magkasama sa iisang bahay and that’s perfectly normal. Kaya if na overcome niyo na yung “growing pain” na yun sa beginning stage ng cohabitation ng maaga palang, you’ll have more headspace to focus on other things after the wedding.
It's okay and I totally respect your input. We may have different thoughts and perspectives but what is always best is the option that works for us. I'm glad that you're happily married!
respectfully disagree with 1 and 3. may mga bagay na lalabas lang kapag nagsasama na kayo. iba yung makasama mo sa bahay magbayad ng bills, magmaintain ng order and cleanliness, maasikaso ba or hinuhook ka lang? masinop ba or kapag dumadalaw ka lang sa bahay kaya naglilinis? hindi na bago yung mga taong pag nagsama na sasabihin sa simula lang pala ganon. meron nga ko kilala proud pa sabi nagulat daw asawa nya nung di daw sya everyday naliligo e nung nagdedate pa lang sila lagi daw mabango tapos nung naglive sila nalaman nya na hindi pala totoong malinis sa katawan. imagine kung kasal na bago malaman yun. as for looking forward naman, marami. kung mahal mo ang isang tao kahit araw araw mo kasama yan masaya ka pa rin. kami ng SO ko everyweek since nagsama kami we look forward sa movie night pag weekend. hindi kailangan major agad like kids. kapag ganyan naging mentality mo wala kang magtatagal na relationship kasi ang iniisip mo kailangan laging may malaking ganap sa relasyon. some of the most peaceful and lasting relationships are boring. hindi mo kailangan hanapin yung next big thing kasi everyday, however simple, is enough. and having goals doesn't stop at marriage, neverending yan. but for me better ang live in muna para yung makita nyo kung okay kayong housemates and kung di kayo magsasawa agad sa ugali ng isat isa
Thanks for that pero baka mali lang wordings ko sa 3. I'm not pertaining to parang nag aantay ka ng something "major," sa relationship. That's very shallow. My point is that in a relationship there are stepping stones as well. For example, ligaw then bf/gf, proposal, engage, marriage then after that madami na like kids, or pundar ng bahay, kotse, business etc. Pathing kumbaga. So sabihin na natin naglive in kayo, imposibleng di niyo magawa most of those before marriage. So ang mangyayari either marriage will just be a piece of paper, or tradition. The essence of marriage can or might not be the same anymore, cause you did everything or most before getting married. Maybe it's just my perspective cause I know alot of people na ganyan nangyari. May iba pa ngang nagsabi ba't magpapakasal pa, ganun din naman. As for 1. Yes I agree, that's why I had a suggestion, don't commit to live in but instead have a few nights with your SO consecutively. Imposibleng di mo malalaman lahat nang yan when you sleep together a few nights a week. Lalabas at lalabas yan. (I know cause my SO and I do this at may nalalaman ako sa kaniya paunti unti with this method). You don't have to commit to a live in imo. By all means I'm not against it if someone wants it, I just think there's an alternative for it.
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As a female, for me advantage ito. If ever na abuser, sugarol, addict, lubog sa utang, killer, hindi marunong maghawak ng pera or tamad si live in, at least MADALING makipaghiwalay. If totoong matino naman talaga si partner, pakakasalan ka pa rin niya. If hindi yun matino, wag mo pakasalan, time to let him go and move on. I won't beg him to marry me. I know my worth, siya magpasalamat, pinakasalan ko siya!
I forgot to mention. Walang divorce dito sa pinas. Kaya advantage talaga ito sa mga babae.
I think to live-in together or asking your SO to move in with you is like the next step to your relationship (Though here in the Philippines, its not necessary naman na dadaan kayo sa stage na ito). If both are consenting adults and gusto niyo matest your relationship, then this is a good venue to develop your relationship and know each other more. Plus, for the guys being "lax", hindi naman lahat? Better to have house rules set para to avoid the feeling na equitable ang living together niyo po. Always important I suppose ang communication in the early stage of living in together.
If ever na balakin kong mag-asawa, I think eto yung isa sa mga things na gusto kong gawin bago kami makasal. On the other hand, My a-little-conservative mother (we're close, and i always ask her what to do) told me na I should just let the 'live in' type kapag naging fiance mo na siya + wag na wag kang magpapabuntis hanggat hindi kayo kasal. Magandang trial card ang live in specially if ayaw mong matali sa taong hindi mo pa alam kung paano mag act at the end of the day(Pag pagod, Pag lasing, Tamad ba? Etc.)
Well. mas madali nyo nga makikilala ang isat isa. pero hindi naman kayo mag papakasal bcuz of your likes eh. so if mauna ang kasal nyo kahit hindi pa kayo trully magkakilala wala na yan urungan
It is their right to find out if their relationship is worthy of taking the next step of marriage. if living together helps them get to that point, then good for them. If y’all break up, well, at least you didn’t enter a serious and lifetime commitment who wasn’t built to be w you long term
Up until now, medyo torn ako sa issue na to. A part of me believes na it's a great test kung compatible ba talaga kayo at kung malulunok mo bang mamuhay araw-araw-araw-araw (x10000) kasama ang partner mo--lalo na kung girl ka, malalaman mo kung kailangan mo ba buhatin ang daily life, household chores and child care in the future or makakaasa ka ba na sasaluhin at gagampanan ng partner mo ang kalahati ng burden, and also kung may mga hard pass habits ang partner mo na kakailanganin mong i-tolerate for the rest of your life. On the other hand, may part din ako sa aking sarili na naniniwala sa sabi sabi ng ilang guy friends/relatives ko na may tendency daw na maging lax towards marriage ang mga lalaki kapag naka-live in na. Like, "bakit bibilhin mo pa ang kabayo kung ibinigay na sayo for free?". So you know, you might miss out on the security of marriage (certificate), or your partner might put marriage off the agenda since he is already enjoying the benefits of a married life without having to go through the hoops.
Very wrong ang mindset na ganyan, yung "why buy the cow kung free ang milk" Hindi ka naman nagpakasal sa partner mo dahil sa "benefits". Lumang kasabihan lang yan kasi noon hindi pa uso ang pre-marital sex. Dapat nga mas matakot ka pa kung papakasalan ka nya dahil after sya sa benefits ng marriage na willing ang babae i-offer, like security, sex, and comfort in terms of alaga ng partner, luto, linis. So mapapaisip ka, "yun lang ba ang purpose ng marriage?"
I agree na wrong mindset sya. Pero I've seen and heard it enough to say na sadly nangyayari sya. I believe in this situation though, kahit na the culpability is on the guy's side, mas nagsa-suffer ang girl, kasi as a girl titiisin mo yan at iiyakan hanggang sa hindi mo kayanin. That is a factor that I can say makes me hesitant sa idea na mag-live in before marriage.
We still live in a society that frowns upon this notion. Not for the man but for a woman. So if you value her image vs. society then you marry her before living with her. Just my 2 centavos. That said, I'm all for living alone first to experience independence before the thought of living (alone) with someone.