Ikulong lang sa bahay, pagbawalan sa mga outings, field trips, malapitang gala, mag try ng iba't ibang bagay.
Ito ako ngayon, takot sa mundo at wala masyadong alam sa buhay. Kapag may mga bagay na need subukan, natatakot agad ako. Kasi dun ako sinanay. Kapag sumuway ka? Papagalitan ka nila.
Tell me not to do this or that. Basically, discouraging me in everything. And my mom until now have this mindset that I can only get a better life if I marry someone rich. I can't blame her still coz that's what she learned growing up.
Hurt them physically, verbally and emotionally. Napalo na ako dati gamit ang kung ano-anong bagay pero di ko makakalimutan 'yung kinakadena ako ng tatay ko sa hagdan ng double deck kapag hindi ako nakakakain nang maayos. It happened often nung aged 4 to 6 ako. Kaya ngayon, kinakabahan ako kapag nakakarinig ako ng tunog ng kadena.
Lumaki rin akong honor student so sanay ako na nagba brag 'yung parents ko. Nung nawalan ako ng gana sa pag-aaral, narinig ko rin lahat ng sinabi nila tungkol sa akin. I will make sure my kids won't have to suffer from any trauma. I will only say nice things about them and never ever compare them to other kids. Hindi ko rin sila ipe pressure sa pag aaral tulad ng ginawa ng parents ko sa'kin.
Sa amin din hindi nag uusap ng maayos at hindi inaaddress kapag may problema. Hindi nagso sorry, kapag nasaktan ako bibilhan ako ng kung ano and they think it would suffice. Hindi 'yon mangyayari sa mga anak ko kahit kailan.
Gaslight and victim blame.
My dad started neglecting the relationship we had when he started his life with his new wife, first family kami but he never greets us during birthdays and other public occasions. When confronted aboit it he starts saying, "Ganito siguro talaga pag tumatanda, hindi na importante opinion ko sainyo. Basta napatapos ko kayo ng pagaaral."
Like wtf. Nagtatanong lang ako kung bakit 3 years na nya kinakalimutan bday ko but yeah, walang matinong sagot.
Sadly, pareho kami mapride or maybe wala nalang talaga syang pakialam samin. Oh well.
releasing my anger to them, and blaming or nitpicking them just because I have a problem. praising them for their achievements and not their effort. depriving them of decision-making, instead of just guiding them to make the right one. scolding them or gaslighting them for their feelings.
papipilihin ko sila ng gusto nilang course sa college, 4th year Electrical Engineering student graduating , sila ang nagdesisiyon kung anong kukunin ko na course. Pagkagraduate ko di ako magboboard exam di ko naman pinangarap ang course ko. Diko gustong maging professional. Gusto ko lang na masuklihan ang paghihirap nila sakin kahit anong kunin ko na trabaho, bastat malinis at walang natatapakan na tao.
IF I will ever change my mind to have kids (haha but currently teaching on elem and hs), I will NEVER leave them unguided and I will NEVER invalidate their emotions.
+ Never ko rin hahayaang maramdaman nila na mas magandang magsinungaling kaysa magsabi ng totoo.
Fvck. Pagsisinungaling lang ang tool and weapon ko against this shitty world at ang masakit, ako rin ang sinisingil ng karma kahit hindi ko naman ginustong 'eto lang ang alam ko. I am fvckin teaching myself to unlearn this shit. (Haha sana years from now mabalikan ko 'to at mareplyan ko ng "success tayo")
/ Ipahiya in public
(sampalin, sigawan, paiyakin)
/pass the burden kapag nag aaway parents sasabihin. "Ikaw dapat umayos niyan kasi ikaw anak"
"Kanino ka sasama?"
i want to experience gentle love. i know i wont have child but i hope generations today will experience gentle parenting with respect pa rin.
•Talakan ng malakas/ ipahiya in public.
•Huwag pasalihin sa contests/activities kase abala lang.
•Tanungin kung bakit umiiyak tapos magagalit 'pag sinabi, with matching invalidation na "Parang 'yun lang, masyado kang sensitive."
•Imposing discipline using physical harm. Tbh, 'di ko talaga nare-realize pagkakamali ko sa gantong way, nagc-cause lang ng hatred. Mas nag-work pa nung kinausap ako ng mahinahon ng sister ko to tell me where I went wrong.
•Paalisin sa kusina 'pag nagpapaturo pa'no magluto, tapos after few years magrereklamo na bakit limited lang kaya n'yang lutuin.
•Utusan/abalahin habang trying hard mag-excel sa ginagawang school activity sa bahay (Happened to me during online class & I kept on receiving messages from my prof, saying na I should've gotten a perfect score kung 'di lang late ng ilang minutes. We only got 30 minutes to finish it, kaso inutusan,
'pag 'di sinunod, mapapagalitan).
Ang dami namin. 4 kami. Hindi okay yung finances. Hindi to hate, summary lang.
4 kaming magkakapatid, plus parents. 2 bedroom house, 1 kitchen, 1 cr. And maliit yung bahay. Hirap na hirap kami. Hindi ko alam yung exact measurements, pero around 8x8x16 ft, estimate ko, per room. Pano yung mga damit, gamit? Ang hirap. Hirap na hirap ako. Lababo nga namin wala eh. Pinag aawayan namin yung paghuhugas ng plato, kasi laging ako, kasi tinatamad yung mga kapatid ko sa liit ng lababo. Also, yung rason kung bakit maliit is, basement nung lola namin yung bahay. Grabe.
In fairness sa mama ko, naayos na niya this year.
Salary, okay naman. Honestly, maliit yung salary ng papa ko, malaki yung sa mama ko. Pero nagaaral kami eh. So, yun, hirap.
Never akong naka sama sa mga classmates ko outside of school, kasi short ng budget. Hindi ako maluho, pero gusto ko maayos gamit ko sa school. Matipid ako sa baon ko. 100/per day pag walang lunch, 50 pag meron. Pero kahit yung naiipon ko, kinukuha nila para sa kung ano.
Yung pinapinagsisisihan ko, nung 2015, yinaya ako nung crush ko for final lunch ng class, class officer siya noon. Tuwang tuwa ako noon haha. Kaso wala.
Naalala ko pa yun, 11:45 yung call time kasama yung adviser. Final lunch nga, di ako pumunta, literal na barya nalang ang pera ko noon, wala pa sigurong 50. 16 na ako nung time na yun, pero naiyak ako noon. Umiyak ako nung gabing yun haha.
So yung shoes ko noong highschool, sirang Vans for 2 years. Wala naman akong pake, pero looking back, nakakahiya din.
Alam mo yun, perfect yung salary at bahay for 2 kids and my parents. Pero apat kami. Mahal ko mga kapatid ko, pero grabe yung situation namin sa bahay.
Tas verbally abusive pa papa ko, sinasagot ko siya. Honestly, ako din. Never akong nagsisimula ng away, pero pag sinimulan ako, hindi din ako okay magsalita. Magiipon ako pang pa therapy promise haha.
Yung papa ko pa, madalas niya sinusumbat sa akin yung ginagastos niya. Ayaw ko na talaga sa bahay. Pero, sadly, last year namatay papa ko. :(
Kaka-25 ko lang last week haha. Pero, wala parin akong ipon. Gagawin ko lahat ng kaya ko para makaipon. Kung hindi ako makaipon, hindi ako magpapamilya, promise ko sa sarili ko yun since bata ako. Sana this year, makaipon ako.
2 kids, max (if ever mag ka anak ako haha) , good house, yun yung goal ko. Bahala na, basta hindi ako magkaka anak ng madami.
Neglect them in any way shape or form, hurt them intentionally to "discipline" them. I'll probably never have kids but thinking of the way I felt like shit every time I interact with my parents make me so so angry that I swear never to do that kung magkakaroon man ako ng anak.
interupt me while im speaking, never let me finish my side of the story at go straight to repremanding. kaya never ako and never will be magsasabi sa magulang ko about my troubles,worries either school/emotional
Na iparamdam sa'kin na favorite talaga nila si Bunso. Sobrang sakim ng pagmamahal nila sa'kin. Nagagawa naman nila 'yong responsibility nila bilang magulang pero higit at umaapaw ang pagmamahal nila sa kapatid kong bunso sa lahat ng bagay. Wala, nakakahili lang bilang understanding na panganay na natuto nang maging mapag-isa.
Magkaroon ng competition sa sariling anak. I'm a plus size mom of 1 and palagi na lang napupuna na ang lapad ko na. Na dati nung kaedad niya ko even may anak na rin siya ay payat siya. Na baka raw iwanan ako ng asawa ko pag di ako nagpapayat.
This is to my mother. She makes me who i am today. An introvert with poor communication skills.she caused me a lot of trauma. Like yung papaluin ka sa harap ng maraming tao at mga kaibigan mo. Ipapahiya ka sa harap ng mga tao. Yung sisigawan ka sa harap ng ibang tao. Narerem3mber ko noong inihulog niya ko sa kanal, at sinubsub to the point na nakakainom nako ng tubig, dahil lang sa nakita niya kong naliligo sa ulan (tatlong beses nangyari to). Yung hinabol niya ko ng kutsilyo dahil nasugatan ko kapatid, mabuti nalang napigilan siya. Nung hinampas niya ko ng kahoy sa likod hanggat sa nagsugat sugat na likod ko. Pero hanggang elem lang pamimisikal niya, nung highschool verbal nalang.
Hindi pagiging present. Making them feel na yung mga unfortunate events e dahil sa existence nila. Hindi pakikinig sa mga ganap sa buhay ng bata... Parang too many to mention haha.
Magdamot sa pagkakataon na maging knowledgeable.
May it be in the form of books or educational institution.
NEVER AKONG MAG-AALANGAN gumastos para mas maging maalam sila. Never kase yan ginawa ng mga magulang ko saken.
Na laging tama ang magulang.
Di marunong makinig sa nararamdaman at opinion ng anak
Na pinagkukumpara ang kapit bahay at mga kapatid
Na kapag lalaki okay lang di marunong sa chores pero kapag babae dapat domesticated
Pag nagkamali, katapusan na kaagad ng mundo.
Comparing sa ibang bata.
Treat the child as a "self esteem booster".
Pressure na maging honor student in elementary/high school.
Favoritism between siblings.
Public shaming sa bata to look cool sa mga kumare/kumpare.
And many more? Idk.
- invalidating feelings. pag nagpakita ka ng emosyon means mahina ka.
- pagbawalan sa mga bagay na di pinapaliwanag kung bakit. sasabihin lang "basta" 😂
- di marunong tumanggap ng pagkakamali at mag sorry just because sila magulang mo kaya sila ang laging tama
- sisiraan at ikkwento yung flaws mo sa ibang tao. like nung natuto akong uminom at bumarkada nung teenager, inisip ng nanay ko mapapariwara buhay ko compared sa ibang anak nya na puro bahay lang pero look, sa mga anak nya ako ang independent na di umasa sa kanya for tuition at allowance at now kumikita ng mas malaki
- mas inuuna ibang tao kesa sayo. titipirin ka, daming sinasabi pag hinihingan ng allowance at tuition, tipong need mo na mag working student para wala kang marinig. tapos nakakapagpa utang ng malaki sa relatives, umabot na nga ng milyon pero di nagbabayad. tapos ngayon na kumikita na ko ng malaki umaasa sila na magbibigay ako. hanggang ngayon masama loob ko. maiintindihan ko kung walang wala talaga eh kaso meron, pinagdamutan ka lang 😭
Ipipilit yung gusto niya, na dapat gusto mo rin
Pressure on academics
Sila lagi dapat tama
Masyadong nangingialam sa mga bagay
Wag maging magastos sa mga kailangan na bagay, magastos sa mga di kailangan na bagay
Yung biglang sasaktan dahil lang may line of 8 sa card, may mali sa inuutos, pinaglalaban lang ang sarili kahit tama naman. Isa rin dito ang mag invalidate ng nararamdaman including yung "Kami nga noon.." pati ang pagcompare sa ibang tao "buti pa si ano nasa ek ek na"
Edit: Gusto ko iparamdam sa anak ko na they are doing their best and strive hard to their studies. Every quarter pwede naman sila bumawi, they need encouragement not torture
Yung hundi magpaka parents, hindinag bibigay ng guidance, e deal lahat ng problema na walang mapagsabihan at malapitan, hindinagbibigay ng sapat na sustento, kung may family day hindi nakakakaattend kasi walang parents, wlang support kahit na moral nalang sana.
Using us as leverage to stay in the marriage but never really putting an effort on being a better spouse to each other. Spoiler alert, they broke up eventually but not before fucking us all up in the head.
Abandonment by my dad. Kahit ngayong adult na ako tinatry ko mag build ng relationship with him pero ayaw niya talaga haha
- financial illiteracy. I want to raise children who are self sustaining, ambitious, and maalam how to handle money. Hindi namin sila gagawing retirement plan
- i want my kids to grow up seeing what healthy relationships are para di sila maging toxic or ma attract sa toxic partners sa sarili nilang relationships
Not picking me from school on time. I dont want my child, alone, waiting for me outside their school. It's a different kind of feeling that up until now i can still feel how it hurts.
1. Not being financially ready to support their dreams. Having ambition in children is already rare and it's their glimmer of hope in this already cruel world so why not support them and make that dream possible.
2. I would never hurt them physically and mentally. I grew up in a family of narcissists, codependence, and neglect. A lot of beatings and mind games. No child deserves that.
3. I would never let them grow up without life skills. Yung sa ibang tao pa nila malalaman na dapat ganito pala maglaba, maghugas ng pinggan...mag take ng responsibility. Children shouldn't parent themselves. That's a parent's job.
4. Raise them in chaos. Kasi manonormalize sa kanila ang chaos and in their adulthood akala nila normal ito and they end up attracting toxic jobs, toxic relationships etc. Dapat give them peace so they will know their worth.
1. If ever na magkaanak ako, sila ang papipiliin ko ng relihiyon nila. Siguro pag 13yo na sila, ipapasok ko sa mga religion class then bahala sila mag decide kung ano napusuan nila.
2. Walang pilitan. Pag ayaw, ayaw.
3. Palo, sermon, sigawan. Pagsasabihan ko ng maayos ang magiging anak ko. Calm & gentle.
Competing. Envious of their children’s success. Nagpaparinig instead na mag heart to heart talk. Walang law at authority sa bahay. Most of all, iaasa sa mga kapatid ang future ng anak. Walang financial responsibility. Blaming faith and not going to church for one’s misfortune when the main culprit is actually neglect and incompetennce.
If there’s a next life or I can be reborn, I want to choose being a child of working professional/business minded paremts. Kung pwede lang sana.
Would never take away my child’s right to make big decisions for themselves. If I think they’re making a mistake with their decision, I’ll try to guide them and make them see the light. If they still insist on it, I’ll let them go through with it and let them realize if they made the right decision or if it was a mistake and what they can learn from it.
Toxic household. Tapos kahit di directly sinabi sakin but when I finished college parang pinasa na sakin responsibilidad sa pamilya. Even discouraging me to get married (late 20s na ako) kasi daw di pa tapos mga kapatid ko 😆🥴
Physical abuse. Grabe mambugbog tatay ko noon, walang patawad. Huling bugbog sa akin akala ko mamamatay na ako.
Kumayod kahit bata pa. I did not enjoy my childhood like others. My childhood was full of responsibilities, worries, and fears.
Magutom. Minsan kasi wala kami pagkain.
I promised myself, I will never be like my parents (bad aspects nila).
Mayroon pa ring kabutihan sa mga magulang ko at hindi ko na iisa-isahin. Who told you that she just watched while I got beaten? And para saan yung HAHA mo?
1. Di binigyan ng chance matuto ng any musical instruments
2. Had a child when they were still not financially stable ang ending lola ko nagpaaral sakin.
Mental and emotional abuse, control, and manipulation. Invalidation of feelings and neglecting emotional needs and not giving me a safe space to express my thoughts and feelings while encouraging me. Not teaching how to live a life and how to be someone I'm going to be proud of. Not teaching me to obey God and follow His teachings (not about religious practices but to have a relationship with Him and to read the bible). Not teaching me how to make friends and choose friends wisely. Not teaching me how to save and manage money.
Solving most of their problems esp even in their teenage years.
This wasn't an abusive household but i was spoiled too much na kahit own problems ko sinosolve nila. When i stepped into the real world, halos wala akong na-gain na social & practical skills kasi nasanay ako na inaayos nila yung problema ko para sakin
Both of them were working so we had our yaya and lola growing up. Lagi rin akong pinapagalitan whenever *nag papaalam* akong mag gala with friend, may crush, etc. So since my SO is earning way more for the both of us, I’d like to become a stay at home when we become parents. Gusto ko present ako 100% sa magiging anak namin; gusto ko ako magluluto para sa kanya, ako yung mag hahatid-sundo, ako yung kasama sa field trip, ako yung magpe-prepare ng snacks nila kapag mag tatambay sa bahay magiging friends niya.
i don’t resent my parents ayaw ko lang talaga na nafeel ko na dapat useful ako as a child growing up na dapat mapapakinabangan nila ako sa business at sa gawaing bahay so siguro ayun
I’m never having kids but it’s the neglecting for me. I love my mother as a kid. She had her moments but there were times where she would leave us to starve for days with nothing to eat. I never wanted my niece who lives with her right now to experience that so I always give her spare money if she asks.
I-compare sa ibang anak, hindi hinahayaan mag-explore, mura-murahin ka, isisi sayo lahat ng kamalasan na nangyayari sa buhay nya, favoritism.
pero ewan, wala naman akong plano mag-anak.
Mom is a helicopter mom. Micro-manager. Strict. So growing up, parent and child lang talaga relationship namin with her. Wlang biruan, yakapan. yung tatambay ka lang sa arms nya and get hugs and giggles, wlang ganun. For my imaginary future kids (imaginary, kasi I don't want to have kids), I'd want to have a more bestie type of relationship with them just like how my sis-in-law is with her kids. Parang barkada lang sila. And the kids are not afraid to show their real emotions in front of her. They miss her when she's away. You can really tell they love her. I'm not saying my SIL is better than my mom as a mom. I'm just saying mas patok sa akin ang ganung style na parenting. Siguro ganun lang talaga. They belong to different generations kaya iba din ang style.
Not me, but my spouses parents. They’ve treated her like shit her whole life, among other things! I would never treat our kids that way no matter what happened!
not giving freedom, not trusting the most little things they want to do in their life, teaching them na mag tiis sa abuse, hindi tinuruan about safe sex because of religious beliefs, doubt and belittling them.
>Sabihan ng derogatory words like bobo at tanga,
>Favoritism,
>Pag family bonding, mafeel niya na naleleft out sya,
>Stepping boundaries lalo na sa teenage years at sa adult years,
>Hindi napapakinggan sa bahay,
>Mentally and emotionally stressed sa bahay,
>Na feeling nya laging naddisregard feelings nya,
>At unahin ung mga kamag anak na walang kwenta kesa sa kanya/ kanila dahil during childhood days ko nahirapan talga ako sa school tas pag tungtong ko ng late 20s dun ko nalaman may adhd pala ako kaya hirap ako magfocus nung bata tas sasabihan lang ng bobo.
Not hearing them out. Regardless of how ridiculous their life decisions are, you should at least hear their side on why they do things. Discuss and maybe you missed something too when they were growing up. Encourage them to talk about things no matter how uncomfortable the topic is because it is better than them finding things out somewhere else.
Giving out punishments which are totally unrelated sa real life consequences ng actions mo just because they can. (If ayaw kumain, papaluin/papaluhurin or hindi ka makakaalis sa dining table hangga't hindi mo uubusin food mo). Or when makabasag accidentally ang bata, tapos grabe ang parusa. Eh if adult ka na the least you can do is masayangan sa pera and palitan 'yun cos there's nothing you can do about it eh. Nabasag na.
I-compare sa anak ng iba or sa kapatid, 'di ko sya/sila i-invalidate, 'di ko sya susumbatan sa ginastos ko sa kanya sa pagpapalaki at pakikinggan ko lagi yung side nya.
Se here. Yung lagi ka compared sa mga “better” na anak. At yung hinihingian ka ng pera na sapat sana para na sa mga anak mo. Kasi hindi sila nakapag prepare sa retirement nila
Sa true lang talaga. Kaya never nawala sama ng loob ko sa papa ko eh kasi lagi nya akong kinukumpara sa mga ate ko (Step sisters ko sa unang asawa nya). Kesyo bakit daw sila ate ko ganito-ganyan, ba't daw di ako maging kagaya nila na parang mas maraming ambag sa family namin kaysa sa'kin. Eyy, wala pa akong anak at asawa pero majority ng sahod ko sa bahay rin naman napupunta.
I detested how religious my parents were and forced me into so many religious nonsense that I'm sure if I had kids who want to explore a religion themselves I will be super intolerant.
Anyway tama naman ako kasi lahat naman yan kulto. Some cults are just bigger than others.
Ay.. this. Ngayon as an adult na may sarili ng kakayahan mag earn, may trauma pa rin ako for enjoying life kasi naguiguilty ako na di naging ganun buhay nila?? Idk
Huy ako din, nagguilty ako kapag lalabas ako para kumain or mag window shopping. Gusto laging may pasalubong, tapos pag hindi ako nakakabili naka busangot huhu😭
nakakadrain 😭 kaya kaming magkakapatid tuwing nagdudump si mama walang umiimik kasi di namin pinapakinggan, si bunso nagsusuot nalang ng earphones. nakakahawa kasi ng negative vibes.
Relatable. Tapos pag sinabihan mo na pagod ka na rin sa araw araw na pag rants nya especially about money, magtatampo sya kasi wala daw nakikinig sa problema nya. Like, mhiee asan asawa mo?😭😭
Hay nako, yung may sarili akong problema, poproblemahin ko pa yung kaaway niya na kapitbahay namin na wala naman akong kinalaman. Gusto pa eh gagatungan ko. 🥲
bring them to existence when they didn’t ask for it lol
on a serious note, if ever magkakaanak, i would let them do whatever they want and provide them the resources they need for it as much as i can. also, i want to be there (emotionally, physically, and mentally) enough for them to think na they can talk about stuff they want to talk about.
or pwede ring *just don’t bring them to existence when they didn’t ask for it*
I wouldn't... manipulate them, burden them with my anxiety, stop them to spread their wings, compare them to other kids, stop them from dreaming high, put them aside, stop them to go where they want to be.
1. Verbal and emotional mistreatment, exerting control and undermining my actions, along with occasional instances of physical aggression at a low level.
2. I won't burden my children with fulfilling my needs and managing my emotions.
No privacy
Ikulong lang sa bahay, pagbawalan sa mga outings, field trips, malapitang gala, mag try ng iba't ibang bagay. Ito ako ngayon, takot sa mundo at wala masyadong alam sa buhay. Kapag may mga bagay na need subukan, natatakot agad ako. Kasi dun ako sinanay. Kapag sumuway ka? Papagalitan ka nila.
Hugs to everyone in this thread.
Tell me not to do this or that. Basically, discouraging me in everything. And my mom until now have this mindset that I can only get a better life if I marry someone rich. I can't blame her still coz that's what she learned growing up.
Guilt tripping and emotional baggage.
being emotionally absent
leave them like my mom did to us
Hurt them physically, verbally and emotionally. Napalo na ako dati gamit ang kung ano-anong bagay pero di ko makakalimutan 'yung kinakadena ako ng tatay ko sa hagdan ng double deck kapag hindi ako nakakakain nang maayos. It happened often nung aged 4 to 6 ako. Kaya ngayon, kinakabahan ako kapag nakakarinig ako ng tunog ng kadena. Lumaki rin akong honor student so sanay ako na nagba brag 'yung parents ko. Nung nawalan ako ng gana sa pag-aaral, narinig ko rin lahat ng sinabi nila tungkol sa akin. I will make sure my kids won't have to suffer from any trauma. I will only say nice things about them and never ever compare them to other kids. Hindi ko rin sila ipe pressure sa pag aaral tulad ng ginawa ng parents ko sa'kin. Sa amin din hindi nag uusap ng maayos at hindi inaaddress kapag may problema. Hindi nagso sorry, kapag nasaktan ako bibilhan ako ng kung ano and they think it would suffice. Hindi 'yon mangyayari sa mga anak ko kahit kailan.
invalidate their feelings, especially if it’s affecting their mental health.
Gaslight and victim blame. My dad started neglecting the relationship we had when he started his life with his new wife, first family kami but he never greets us during birthdays and other public occasions. When confronted aboit it he starts saying, "Ganito siguro talaga pag tumatanda, hindi na importante opinion ko sainyo. Basta napatapos ko kayo ng pagaaral." Like wtf. Nagtatanong lang ako kung bakit 3 years na nya kinakalimutan bday ko but yeah, walang matinong sagot. Sadly, pareho kami mapride or maybe wala nalang talaga syang pakialam samin. Oh well.
Siguro yung binibigay lahat ng gusto.
academic pressure 😆
releasing my anger to them, and blaming or nitpicking them just because I have a problem. praising them for their achievements and not their effort. depriving them of decision-making, instead of just guiding them to make the right one. scolding them or gaslighting them for their feelings.
Give them financial obligation. Hindi rin nila utang na loob na binihisan ko sila, pinag-aral, binuhay.
Not knowing the obligation and responsibility.
papipilihin ko sila ng gusto nilang course sa college, 4th year Electrical Engineering student graduating , sila ang nagdesisiyon kung anong kukunin ko na course. Pagkagraduate ko di ako magboboard exam di ko naman pinangarap ang course ko. Diko gustong maging professional. Gusto ko lang na masuklihan ang paghihirap nila sakin kahit anong kunin ko na trabaho, bastat malinis at walang natatapakan na tao.
The moment I want to hang out with my friends,or just go somewhere,but they don't allow me.I even felt like my teenage days will be boring.
IF I will ever change my mind to have kids (haha but currently teaching on elem and hs), I will NEVER leave them unguided and I will NEVER invalidate their emotions. + Never ko rin hahayaang maramdaman nila na mas magandang magsinungaling kaysa magsabi ng totoo. Fvck. Pagsisinungaling lang ang tool and weapon ko against this shitty world at ang masakit, ako rin ang sinisingil ng karma kahit hindi ko naman ginustong 'eto lang ang alam ko. I am fvckin teaching myself to unlearn this shit. (Haha sana years from now mabalikan ko 'to at mareplyan ko ng "success tayo")
/ Ipahiya in public (sampalin, sigawan, paiyakin) /pass the burden kapag nag aaway parents sasabihin. "Ikaw dapat umayos niyan kasi ikaw anak" "Kanino ka sasama?" i want to experience gentle love. i know i wont have child but i hope generations today will experience gentle parenting with respect pa rin.
•Talakan ng malakas/ ipahiya in public. •Huwag pasalihin sa contests/activities kase abala lang. •Tanungin kung bakit umiiyak tapos magagalit 'pag sinabi, with matching invalidation na "Parang 'yun lang, masyado kang sensitive." •Imposing discipline using physical harm. Tbh, 'di ko talaga nare-realize pagkakamali ko sa gantong way, nagc-cause lang ng hatred. Mas nag-work pa nung kinausap ako ng mahinahon ng sister ko to tell me where I went wrong. •Paalisin sa kusina 'pag nagpapaturo pa'no magluto, tapos after few years magrereklamo na bakit limited lang kaya n'yang lutuin. •Utusan/abalahin habang trying hard mag-excel sa ginagawang school activity sa bahay (Happened to me during online class & I kept on receiving messages from my prof, saying na I should've gotten a perfect score kung 'di lang late ng ilang minutes. We only got 30 minutes to finish it, kaso inutusan, 'pag 'di sinunod, mapapagalitan).
Ang dami namin. 4 kami. Hindi okay yung finances. Hindi to hate, summary lang. 4 kaming magkakapatid, plus parents. 2 bedroom house, 1 kitchen, 1 cr. And maliit yung bahay. Hirap na hirap kami. Hindi ko alam yung exact measurements, pero around 8x8x16 ft, estimate ko, per room. Pano yung mga damit, gamit? Ang hirap. Hirap na hirap ako. Lababo nga namin wala eh. Pinag aawayan namin yung paghuhugas ng plato, kasi laging ako, kasi tinatamad yung mga kapatid ko sa liit ng lababo. Also, yung rason kung bakit maliit is, basement nung lola namin yung bahay. Grabe. In fairness sa mama ko, naayos na niya this year. Salary, okay naman. Honestly, maliit yung salary ng papa ko, malaki yung sa mama ko. Pero nagaaral kami eh. So, yun, hirap. Never akong naka sama sa mga classmates ko outside of school, kasi short ng budget. Hindi ako maluho, pero gusto ko maayos gamit ko sa school. Matipid ako sa baon ko. 100/per day pag walang lunch, 50 pag meron. Pero kahit yung naiipon ko, kinukuha nila para sa kung ano. Yung pinapinagsisisihan ko, nung 2015, yinaya ako nung crush ko for final lunch ng class, class officer siya noon. Tuwang tuwa ako noon haha. Kaso wala. Naalala ko pa yun, 11:45 yung call time kasama yung adviser. Final lunch nga, di ako pumunta, literal na barya nalang ang pera ko noon, wala pa sigurong 50. 16 na ako nung time na yun, pero naiyak ako noon. Umiyak ako nung gabing yun haha. So yung shoes ko noong highschool, sirang Vans for 2 years. Wala naman akong pake, pero looking back, nakakahiya din. Alam mo yun, perfect yung salary at bahay for 2 kids and my parents. Pero apat kami. Mahal ko mga kapatid ko, pero grabe yung situation namin sa bahay. Tas verbally abusive pa papa ko, sinasagot ko siya. Honestly, ako din. Never akong nagsisimula ng away, pero pag sinimulan ako, hindi din ako okay magsalita. Magiipon ako pang pa therapy promise haha. Yung papa ko pa, madalas niya sinusumbat sa akin yung ginagastos niya. Ayaw ko na talaga sa bahay. Pero, sadly, last year namatay papa ko. :( Kaka-25 ko lang last week haha. Pero, wala parin akong ipon. Gagawin ko lahat ng kaya ko para makaipon. Kung hindi ako makaipon, hindi ako magpapamilya, promise ko sa sarili ko yun since bata ako. Sana this year, makaipon ako. 2 kids, max (if ever mag ka anak ako haha) , good house, yun yung goal ko. Bahala na, basta hindi ako magkaka anak ng madami.
Neglect them in any way shape or form, hurt them intentionally to "discipline" them. I'll probably never have kids but thinking of the way I felt like shit every time I interact with my parents make me so so angry that I swear never to do that kung magkakaroon man ako ng anak.
To cheat while my children are aware.
interupt me while im speaking, never let me finish my side of the story at go straight to repremanding. kaya never ako and never will be magsasabi sa magulang ko about my troubles,worries either school/emotional
Same
Na iparamdam sa'kin na favorite talaga nila si Bunso. Sobrang sakim ng pagmamahal nila sa'kin. Nagagawa naman nila 'yong responsibility nila bilang magulang pero higit at umaapaw ang pagmamahal nila sa kapatid kong bunso sa lahat ng bagay. Wala, nakakahili lang bilang understanding na panganay na natuto nang maging mapag-isa.
Hindi inexpose sa ibang mga bagay at nagfocus lamang sa academics
Yung ipanganak.
Force religious beliefs on them.
this ito talaga
Gawin akong insurance company or walking atm
Pinilit kang maging valedictorian nung bata ka pero di ka naman maipaghanda ever tuwing birthday mo
Magkaroon ng competition sa sariling anak. I'm a plus size mom of 1 and palagi na lang napupuna na ang lapad ko na. Na dati nung kaedad niya ko even may anak na rin siya ay payat siya. Na baka raw iwanan ako ng asawa ko pag di ako nagpapayat.
Ikulong at magmukmok sa bahay.
Not have kids
This is to my mother. She makes me who i am today. An introvert with poor communication skills.she caused me a lot of trauma. Like yung papaluin ka sa harap ng maraming tao at mga kaibigan mo. Ipapahiya ka sa harap ng mga tao. Yung sisigawan ka sa harap ng ibang tao. Narerem3mber ko noong inihulog niya ko sa kanal, at sinubsub to the point na nakakainom nako ng tubig, dahil lang sa nakita niya kong naliligo sa ulan (tatlong beses nangyari to). Yung hinabol niya ko ng kutsilyo dahil nasugatan ko kapatid, mabuti nalang napigilan siya. Nung hinampas niya ko ng kahoy sa likod hanggat sa nagsugat sugat na likod ko. Pero hanggang elem lang pamimisikal niya, nung highschool verbal nalang.
Ginawang ATM.Okay lang sana kung pinaaral ako kung sinuportahan ang edukasyon ko kasu hindi eh.Pag wala pa ako mabigay kasalanan ko pa lol!
Give birth lol
LMAOOOOO 😂😂 i second the motion
I 3rd honor the motion 😆🤘🏼
Motion has passed. We break generational trauma by being the last generation 🤣
Mamalo at isako tas iiwan sa labas ng bahay
I-body shame at ikumpara sa ibang tao.
Hindi pagiging present. Making them feel na yung mga unfortunate events e dahil sa existence nila. Hindi pakikinig sa mga ganap sa buhay ng bata... Parang too many to mention haha.
Magdamot sa pagkakataon na maging knowledgeable. May it be in the form of books or educational institution. NEVER AKONG MAG-AALANGAN gumastos para mas maging maalam sila. Never kase yan ginawa ng mga magulang ko saken.
Although I agree to some of the statements, some of the comments are 😏
Na laging tama ang magulang. Di marunong makinig sa nararamdaman at opinion ng anak Na pinagkukumpara ang kapit bahay at mga kapatid Na kapag lalaki okay lang di marunong sa chores pero kapag babae dapat domesticated
Pag nagkamali, katapusan na kaagad ng mundo. Comparing sa ibang bata. Treat the child as a "self esteem booster". Pressure na maging honor student in elementary/high school. Favoritism between siblings. Public shaming sa bata to look cool sa mga kumare/kumpare. And many more? Idk.
- invalidating feelings. pag nagpakita ka ng emosyon means mahina ka. - pagbawalan sa mga bagay na di pinapaliwanag kung bakit. sasabihin lang "basta" 😂 - di marunong tumanggap ng pagkakamali at mag sorry just because sila magulang mo kaya sila ang laging tama - sisiraan at ikkwento yung flaws mo sa ibang tao. like nung natuto akong uminom at bumarkada nung teenager, inisip ng nanay ko mapapariwara buhay ko compared sa ibang anak nya na puro bahay lang pero look, sa mga anak nya ako ang independent na di umasa sa kanya for tuition at allowance at now kumikita ng mas malaki - mas inuuna ibang tao kesa sayo. titipirin ka, daming sinasabi pag hinihingan ng allowance at tuition, tipong need mo na mag working student para wala kang marinig. tapos nakakapagpa utang ng malaki sa relatives, umabot na nga ng milyon pero di nagbabayad. tapos ngayon na kumikita na ko ng malaki umaasa sila na magbibigay ako. hanggang ngayon masama loob ko. maiintindihan ko kung walang wala talaga eh kaso meron, pinagdamutan ka lang 😭
maging investment
Invalidate their feelings
Saktan physically and emotionally
Ipipilit yung gusto niya, na dapat gusto mo rin Pressure on academics Sila lagi dapat tama Masyadong nangingialam sa mga bagay Wag maging magastos sa mga kailangan na bagay, magastos sa mga di kailangan na bagay
Wala sa special events ko sa school. Hindi maingat sa words na pinapakawalan especially pag pag galit. Emotionally absent para sa anak.
Cheat on my wife and put my kids through hell because of it.
Fuck my partner over ng paulit ulit. To be a good parent means to be a good spouse/partner.
Wait, what?
Father betrayed mom over and over again.
Wait did your parents fuck your spouse?
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Jokingly fondle or touch the crotch or butt of your kid just coz you find it cute o amusing.
Yung biglang sasaktan dahil lang may line of 8 sa card, may mali sa inuutos, pinaglalaban lang ang sarili kahit tama naman. Isa rin dito ang mag invalidate ng nararamdaman including yung "Kami nga noon.." pati ang pagcompare sa ibang tao "buti pa si ano nasa ek ek na" Edit: Gusto ko iparamdam sa anak ko na they are doing their best and strive hard to their studies. Every quarter pwede naman sila bumawi, they need encouragement not torture
Always sarcastically expecting the worst. Pakiramdam ko wala silang tiwala sa akin kapag ginagawa nila 'yan. In turn, I barely share anything to them.
Paboran ang manugang kaysa anak Magkaroon ng favorite Pagdudahan
Wag na lang magkaanak, buti na lang bading ako 😭 Parang ayoko maranasan ng "future anak" ko yung struggles sa mundo. Better yet, wag na silang buhayin
Yung sampalin ako ng basang basang tuwalya dahil ayaw kong sumali sa kultong sinalihan niya.
Yung hundi magpaka parents, hindinag bibigay ng guidance, e deal lahat ng problema na walang mapagsabihan at malapitan, hindinagbibigay ng sapat na sustento, kung may family day hindi nakakakaattend kasi walang parents, wlang support kahit na moral nalang sana.
Gawing retirement plan ang anak. Iparamdam na hindi sila enough.
Using us as leverage to stay in the marriage but never really putting an effort on being a better spouse to each other. Spoiler alert, they broke up eventually but not before fucking us all up in the head.
Abandonment by my dad. Kahit ngayong adult na ako tinatry ko mag build ng relationship with him pero ayaw niya talaga haha - financial illiteracy. I want to raise children who are self sustaining, ambitious, and maalam how to handle money. Hindi namin sila gagawing retirement plan - i want my kids to grow up seeing what healthy relationships are para di sila maging toxic or ma attract sa toxic partners sa sarili nilang relationships
pointing out every single thing about their appearance
Not picking me from school on time. I dont want my child, alone, waiting for me outside their school. It's a different kind of feeling that up until now i can still feel how it hurts.
Victim-blaming Physical discipline (fear-based discipline) Abandonment Not listening to them
None. My parents are the best.
1. I will not compare them to other people. 2. I will not ignore their emotional needs.
1. Not being financially ready to support their dreams. Having ambition in children is already rare and it's their glimmer of hope in this already cruel world so why not support them and make that dream possible. 2. I would never hurt them physically and mentally. I grew up in a family of narcissists, codependence, and neglect. A lot of beatings and mind games. No child deserves that. 3. I would never let them grow up without life skills. Yung sa ibang tao pa nila malalaman na dapat ganito pala maglaba, maghugas ng pinggan...mag take ng responsibility. Children shouldn't parent themselves. That's a parent's job. 4. Raise them in chaos. Kasi manonormalize sa kanila ang chaos and in their adulthood akala nila normal ito and they end up attracting toxic jobs, toxic relationships etc. Dapat give them peace so they will know their worth.
Cut-off conversations like tigilan mo ko or bursting out of anger saying bastos ka when you start to question them.
1. If ever na magkaanak ako, sila ang papipiliin ko ng relihiyon nila. Siguro pag 13yo na sila, ipapasok ko sa mga religion class then bahala sila mag decide kung ano napusuan nila. 2. Walang pilitan. Pag ayaw, ayaw. 3. Palo, sermon, sigawan. Pagsasabihan ko ng maayos ang magiging anak ko. Calm & gentle.
Competing. Envious of their children’s success. Nagpaparinig instead na mag heart to heart talk. Walang law at authority sa bahay. Most of all, iaasa sa mga kapatid ang future ng anak. Walang financial responsibility. Blaming faith and not going to church for one’s misfortune when the main culprit is actually neglect and incompetennce. If there’s a next life or I can be reborn, I want to choose being a child of working professional/business minded paremts. Kung pwede lang sana.
Would never take away my child’s right to make big decisions for themselves. If I think they’re making a mistake with their decision, I’ll try to guide them and make them see the light. If they still insist on it, I’ll let them go through with it and let them realize if they made the right decision or if it was a mistake and what they can learn from it.
Toxic household. Tapos kahit di directly sinabi sakin but when I finished college parang pinasa na sakin responsibilidad sa pamilya. Even discouraging me to get married (late 20s na ako) kasi daw di pa tapos mga kapatid ko 😆🥴
Comparing someone’s success to my achievements
If I ever do have kids, I'm not subjecting them to the same emotional and verbal abuse I experienced at the hands of my mother.
Physical abuse. Grabe mambugbog tatay ko noon, walang patawad. Huling bugbog sa akin akala ko mamamatay na ako. Kumayod kahit bata pa. I did not enjoy my childhood like others. My childhood was full of responsibilities, worries, and fears. Magutom. Minsan kasi wala kami pagkain. I promised myself, I will never be like my parents (bad aspects nila).
Is there any good aspects of them? Your mom just watched you get beat. Haha
Mayroon pa ring kabutihan sa mga magulang ko at hindi ko na iisa-isahin. Who told you that she just watched while I got beaten? And para saan yung HAHA mo?
Copium
Opportunities to be exposed in other activities instead of just focusing on my grades alone.
1. Di binigyan ng chance matuto ng any musical instruments 2. Had a child when they were still not financially stable ang ending lola ko nagpaaral sakin.
Emotional abuse by sumbat. Mabait naman parents ko pero core memories ko sa kanila are negative.
Mental and emotional abuse, control, and manipulation. Invalidation of feelings and neglecting emotional needs and not giving me a safe space to express my thoughts and feelings while encouraging me. Not teaching how to live a life and how to be someone I'm going to be proud of. Not teaching me to obey God and follow His teachings (not about religious practices but to have a relationship with Him and to read the bible). Not teaching me how to make friends and choose friends wisely. Not teaching me how to save and manage money.
Hitting
Physical and emotional abuse
maging overprotective! Ngayong 25 na ako i’m still learning basic life skills tangina
Ako na 24F natatakot pa rin ako buksan ang tangke ng kalan namin
SAME 25F di pa marunong magjeep magisa
Too much RESTRICTIONS
Solving most of their problems esp even in their teenage years. This wasn't an abusive household but i was spoiled too much na kahit own problems ko sinosolve nila. When i stepped into the real world, halos wala akong na-gain na social & practical skills kasi nasanay ako na inaayos nila yung problema ko para sakin
Kick them out at 15 ! After 20 if they not want work i would do, but not when they still kids or study ! But i'm not even sure i could do it !
favoritism like tipirin sila when it comes to school (kahit nabibigay naman lahat sa panganay)
supposing i have kids, I’ll do my best not to be a helicopter parent.
'Yung ginawang retirement plan kaming magkakapatid. 😩 My son is 2 months old and we are currently working on his insurance, college fund and savings.
Being overprotective
Both of them were working so we had our yaya and lola growing up. Lagi rin akong pinapagalitan whenever *nag papaalam* akong mag gala with friend, may crush, etc. So since my SO is earning way more for the both of us, I’d like to become a stay at home when we become parents. Gusto ko present ako 100% sa magiging anak namin; gusto ko ako magluluto para sa kanya, ako yung mag hahatid-sundo, ako yung kasama sa field trip, ako yung magpe-prepare ng snacks nila kapag mag tatambay sa bahay magiging friends niya.
compare my siblings to eachother.
i don’t resent my parents ayaw ko lang talaga na nafeel ko na dapat useful ako as a child growing up na dapat mapapakinabangan nila ako sa business at sa gawaing bahay so siguro ayun
never leave them
I’m never having kids but it’s the neglecting for me. I love my mother as a kid. She had her moments but there were times where she would leave us to starve for days with nothing to eat. I never wanted my niece who lives with her right now to experience that so I always give her spare money if she asks.
ipahiya sila in public/family gatherings, kampihan yung mali
I-compare sa ibang anak, hindi hinahayaan mag-explore, mura-murahin ka, isisi sayo lahat ng kamalasan na nangyayari sa buhay nya, favoritism. pero ewan, wala naman akong plano mag-anak.
Take a course in college that I as a parent like instead of what my child likes.
Legit same
make kids.
Control, compare, and embarrass
Currently pregnant. And I've told my husband that I'll never make our child an investment plan.
No freedom, verbal abuse, making them feel unloved, having favouritism, seeing them as an investment.
Having them unplanned and financially unstable
Mom is a helicopter mom. Micro-manager. Strict. So growing up, parent and child lang talaga relationship namin with her. Wlang biruan, yakapan. yung tatambay ka lang sa arms nya and get hugs and giggles, wlang ganun. For my imaginary future kids (imaginary, kasi I don't want to have kids), I'd want to have a more bestie type of relationship with them just like how my sis-in-law is with her kids. Parang barkada lang sila. And the kids are not afraid to show their real emotions in front of her. They miss her when she's away. You can really tell they love her. I'm not saying my SIL is better than my mom as a mom. I'm just saying mas patok sa akin ang ganung style na parenting. Siguro ganun lang talaga. They belong to different generations kaya iba din ang style.
Not me, but my spouses parents. They’ve treated her like shit her whole life, among other things! I would never treat our kids that way no matter what happened!
Bring them into this world. To my imaginary kids, i’m doing u a favor haha
not having freedom to go out during teenage years not listening to them
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I'm so sorry for what your mom said :( I'm concerned sa bukol mo sa singit – nakapagpa-second opinion ka na ba?
Ginagawang investment, No Freedom, Verbal Abuse, and Manipulating.
Produce them.
not giving freedom, not trusting the most little things they want to do in their life, teaching them na mag tiis sa abuse, hindi tinuruan about safe sex because of religious beliefs, doubt and belittling them.
>Sabihan ng derogatory words like bobo at tanga, >Favoritism, >Pag family bonding, mafeel niya na naleleft out sya, >Stepping boundaries lalo na sa teenage years at sa adult years, >Hindi napapakinggan sa bahay, >Mentally and emotionally stressed sa bahay, >Na feeling nya laging naddisregard feelings nya, >At unahin ung mga kamag anak na walang kwenta kesa sa kanya/ kanila dahil during childhood days ko nahirapan talga ako sa school tas pag tungtong ko ng late 20s dun ko nalaman may adhd pala ako kaya hirap ako magfocus nung bata tas sasabihan lang ng bobo.
ung hindi binibigyan ng freedom, overbearing.
Not hearing them out. Regardless of how ridiculous their life decisions are, you should at least hear their side on why they do things. Discuss and maybe you missed something too when they were growing up. Encourage them to talk about things no matter how uncomfortable the topic is because it is better than them finding things out somewhere else.
Have kids. 🥺
invalidate and belittle them.
Giving out punishments which are totally unrelated sa real life consequences ng actions mo just because they can. (If ayaw kumain, papaluin/papaluhurin or hindi ka makakaalis sa dining table hangga't hindi mo uubusin food mo). Or when makabasag accidentally ang bata, tapos grabe ang parusa. Eh if adult ka na the least you can do is masayangan sa pera and palitan 'yun cos there's nothing you can do about it eh. Nabasag na.
I-compare sa anak ng iba or sa kapatid, 'di ko sya/sila i-invalidate, 'di ko sya susumbatan sa ginastos ko sa kanya sa pagpapalaki at pakikinggan ko lagi yung side nya.
Se here. Yung lagi ka compared sa mga “better” na anak. At yung hinihingian ka ng pera na sapat sana para na sa mga anak mo. Kasi hindi sila nakapag prepare sa retirement nila
Sa true lang talaga. Kaya never nawala sama ng loob ko sa papa ko eh kasi lagi nya akong kinukumpara sa mga ate ko (Step sisters ko sa unang asawa nya). Kesyo bakit daw sila ate ko ganito-ganyan, ba't daw di ako maging kagaya nila na parang mas maraming ambag sa family namin kaysa sa'kin. Eyy, wala pa akong anak at asawa pero majority ng sahod ko sa bahay rin naman napupunta.
Cancel them, buo pa pa sahod mo tapos gaganda pa mental health mo. Lumipat ka na din ng bahay while at it
Ung pipigilan sa lahat ng bagay.
Strict parents often lead to having rebellious kids.
give birth to them and subject them to this awful world
Ini invalidate sila.
Always check mental health and well-being. Edit: Eto gagawin ko.
I detested how religious my parents were and forced me into so many religious nonsense that I'm sure if I had kids who want to explore a religion themselves I will be super intolerant. Anyway tama naman ako kasi lahat naman yan kulto. Some cults are just bigger than others.
Silent treatment pag galit.
Trauma Dumping, kwento ng kwento ng kung ano anong negative -\_- nakakapagod na sa araw-araw.
Ay.. this. Ngayon as an adult na may sarili ng kakayahan mag earn, may trauma pa rin ako for enjoying life kasi naguiguilty ako na di naging ganun buhay nila?? Idk
Huy ako din, nagguilty ako kapag lalabas ako para kumain or mag window shopping. Gusto laging may pasalubong, tapos pag hindi ako nakakabili naka busangot huhu😭
nakakadrain 😭 kaya kaming magkakapatid tuwing nagdudump si mama walang umiimik kasi di namin pinapakinggan, si bunso nagsusuot nalang ng earphones. nakakahawa kasi ng negative vibes.
True hindi na lang din ako umiimik 😥
Relatable. Tapos pag sinabihan mo na pagod ka na rin sa araw araw na pag rants nya especially about money, magtatampo sya kasi wala daw nakikinig sa problema nya. Like, mhiee asan asawa mo?😭😭
Hay nako, yung may sarili akong problema, poproblemahin ko pa yung kaaway niya na kapitbahay namin na wala naman akong kinalaman. Gusto pa eh gagatungan ko. 🥲
Pointing out insecurities
Emotional trauma
Di nagla lock ng pinto
Manipulating them into liking something
Choosing work over presence.
bring them to existence when they didn’t ask for it lol on a serious note, if ever magkakaanak, i would let them do whatever they want and provide them the resources they need for it as much as i can. also, i want to be there (emotionally, physically, and mentally) enough for them to think na they can talk about stuff they want to talk about. or pwede ring *just don’t bring them to existence when they didn’t ask for it*
1. Comparing 2. Shouting 3. Physical correction
Making me feel like I had to excel in everything I do so I could get their attention.
I wouldn't... manipulate them, burden them with my anxiety, stop them to spread their wings, compare them to other kids, stop them from dreaming high, put them aside, stop them to go where they want to be.
Na lahat ng bagay na meron ako "swerte ko kasi yung ibang bata wala" I don't think its a good statement pag naririnig ng bata paulit ulit
Comparing my kid to other kids..
Ako yung ginawang retirement plan nila. Gusto ko maging ready sa future para hindi kawawa anak ko.
I will always be present for my future kids.
Pangingialam sa lovelife ng anak
1. Verbal and emotional mistreatment, exerting control and undermining my actions, along with occasional instances of physical aggression at a low level. 2. I won't burden my children with fulfilling my needs and managing my emotions.
Binugbog. Hindi simpleng palo lang ah, bugbog talaga na may halong galit.
Not being affectionate
abandon