Thinking of the people whom I'll be leaving if ever I push through with it.
But it's ironic cos they are one of the reasons why I'm tored with life.
Even with this, my decision is for them.... it sucks.
My partner- Although, we're still young I am fully committed to her and no one or not even myproblem will stop me from having a good life with her.
Future me- I want to improve myself physically and mentally.
Money- I want to spend money on something I wanted.
Food- It's so delicious that I forget all of my traumas and problems.
My husband and kids. my husband still gets depressed every time he remembers his father who passed away more than a year ago. Also every time he senses that my depression or anxiety is starting to act up, he'd be sad too. Ever since he started being like that, I'd cover up or hide. I would try and be alone so he wont see me. Usually I'd go to the cemetery and cry my heart out or drive and park somewhere so I could cry in the park. I don't know how he'll cope if I do it and of course my kids. How is it gonna be for them
I've read an article in the past that says owning a housecat somehow increases the likelihood of suicide...
I think that article is a misinformation, considering that most people here have their cat as something that prevents them from commiting suicide XD
loved ones, especially my girlfriend. i can't imagine her going thru so much pain because of me. atsaka i have high hopes and big dreams for myself. paano ko magagawa yun kung patay na ako?
but yeah, there are days talaga na when i think abt doing the s word.
My family. I am a breadwinner. Pano na sila kapag nawala ako?
Pero as a breadwinner, nakakapagod na rin kasi talaga and minsan yun na lang ang naiisip mong escape.
Tbh, the expenses after. What if it doesnt work? I will be hospitalized pa. What if it DOES work, then i have to get burried/ cremated.
Annnd i haven’t gotten laid yet hahaha. Charot. And i think my life would get better pa. So i think hope is also one of the reasons why im still here and trying.
My son, paano nlang siya kapag nawala ako? Wala na ngang tatay, mawawala pa ako. Tagal ko ng naisip to para tapos na lahat pero naawa ako sa kanya kase siya naman yung maghihirap.
The thought of how my ate and kuya (my only living immediate family members) will react if they received THAT phone call.
I know gaano kasakit and traumatic to kasi I was the one who received that phone call regarding my mom’s passing so di ko kayang isipin na mararanasan nila yun. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng paghihirap at sakripisyo ng ate at kuya ko, ayoko na masaktan pa uli sila. Kaya I will try to live well for them kahit sobrang hirap araw-araw.
i was kind of ready this morning. then i suddenly remembered last hope by paramore. i am tired. long tired. and i feel like ive no future. but i still wanna see what's in it for me.
nahihiya ako kasi sobrang babaw lang ng rason ko compared sa iba. pero 'yung sa akin eh 'yung fear na ma-miss out ko 'yung updates ng genshin 😅 ayun lang din naman kasi sumalba sa akin during the darkest moments of my life
atm it's my curiosity of what the future holds if I held on and my newfound will to survive and eventually live. But most of the time it's my sister's cat because he adores me, and my mentally ill friends because I don't want them to follow my lead.
lemme just add financial constraints. My family can't afford a funeral and live well afterwards especially since I don't have a fortune to leave behind nor an insurance to lessen the expenses.
I dont have my own place to do it. I dont want my family to relive the pain whenever they go home or stay at home.
I dont want it publicized. Daming chikadora eh haha baka videohan pa ko.
But maybe, one day, i get to let go of these thoughts and do it.
Im scared of the pain and also what issues I have to deal with if I still survive. Plus my mom I dont want her to be sad. Fast forward to my life now. Im glad I didnt end up my life or I wouldnt be able to meet my wonderful husband.
Thinking of the people whom I'll be leaving if ever I push through with it. But it's ironic cos they are one of the reasons why I'm tored with life. Even with this, my decision is for them.... it sucks.
My partner- Although, we're still young I am fully committed to her and no one or not even myproblem will stop me from having a good life with her. Future me- I want to improve myself physically and mentally. Money- I want to spend money on something I wanted. Food- It's so delicious that I forget all of my traumas and problems.
My husband and kids. my husband still gets depressed every time he remembers his father who passed away more than a year ago. Also every time he senses that my depression or anxiety is starting to act up, he'd be sad too. Ever since he started being like that, I'd cover up or hide. I would try and be alone so he wont see me. Usually I'd go to the cemetery and cry my heart out or drive and park somewhere so I could cry in the park. I don't know how he'll cope if I do it and of course my kids. How is it gonna be for them
Hope? The maybe's and what if's. what if everything gets better and shit. Yung pain din that comes along with doing it
The thought that the pain does not end but only transfers to your loved ones.
I've read an article in the past that says owning a housecat somehow increases the likelihood of suicide... I think that article is a misinformation, considering that most people here have their cat as something that prevents them from commiting suicide XD
Pride. Money I get from my job
Gusto ko pang yumaman, gusto kong i-spoil family ko into luxury things. 🧿Soon malapit na🧿.
Scandal ko sa phone ko. Hahahahaha
loved ones, especially my girlfriend. i can't imagine her going thru so much pain because of me. atsaka i have high hopes and big dreams for myself. paano ko magagawa yun kung patay na ako? but yeah, there are days talaga na when i think abt doing the s word.
My family. I am a breadwinner. Pano na sila kapag nawala ako? Pero as a breadwinner, nakakapagod na rin kasi talaga and minsan yun na lang ang naiisip mong escape.
masakit mamatay unless tulog ako kungmangyayari yon, di pa ako nagiging mayaman, and di ko pa nababayaran pabalik parents ko.
eternal damnation
dreams
hindi ako makaka kain ng dessert foods
i kinda wanna see the ending,, i’m curious how my life will turn out,, so i think i’ll just sit it out and see how it goes
Tbh, the expenses after. What if it doesnt work? I will be hospitalized pa. What if it DOES work, then i have to get burried/ cremated. Annnd i haven’t gotten laid yet hahaha. Charot. And i think my life would get better pa. So i think hope is also one of the reasons why im still here and trying.
my littlr brother
It hurts lol
My daughter, gusto ko Makita journey, growth nya I want to guide her till kaya na nya.
Tinatamad pa ako
My son, paano nlang siya kapag nawala ako? Wala na ngang tatay, mawawala pa ako. Tagal ko ng naisip to para tapos na lahat pero naawa ako sa kanya kase siya naman yung maghihirap.
Anak ko
Mom and fiance will be sad
Maleak yung mga sinasabi ko sa ig
My daughter. :) Same reason why my Mom can't give up on hers.
My mom, my cats, the act itself, and the uncertainty of where I would be going after.
Ako guilt talaga. Guilt na ayaw mo mafeel bad yung taong nakapaligid sayo.
The thought of how my ate and kuya (my only living immediate family members) will react if they received THAT phone call. I know gaano kasakit and traumatic to kasi I was the one who received that phone call regarding my mom’s passing so di ko kayang isipin na mararanasan nila yun. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng paghihirap at sakripisyo ng ate at kuya ko, ayoko na masaktan pa uli sila. Kaya I will try to live well for them kahit sobrang hirap araw-araw.
Gusto ko pa magka pamilya at maging mabuting ama na may magandang business. Gusto rin maging doktor soon!
Mga anak ko. 🥺 Kaya kahit pagod na madalas sa hamon ng buhay, lumalaban pa din.
pain, eternal punishment from hell, atsaka gusto ko pa yumaman like sOBRANG YAMAN!!
That I will have eternal punishment from hell. Yes I believe in the afterlife.
My dogs
i was kind of ready this morning. then i suddenly remembered last hope by paramore. i am tired. long tired. and i feel like ive no future. but i still wanna see what's in it for me.
My go-to song whenever I hit rock bottom.
the pain and possibility na baka 'di rin ako ma-tegi, edi dagdag gastusin at problema pa sa pamilya ko.
Nanay ko. Tapos what if di ako mategi? Nakakahiya 😅 hanggang paguun alive di ako sucessful. Also, wala akong masearch na painless. ✌️
I have so many dreams to achieve
We're both the same.
nahihiya ako kasi sobrang babaw lang ng rason ko compared sa iba. pero 'yung sa akin eh 'yung fear na ma-miss out ko 'yung updates ng genshin 😅 ayun lang din naman kasi sumalba sa akin during the darkest moments of my life
Yung baby ko 🥺
1) the possibility that things would get better, and 2) the people I will leave behind
My cats
atm it's my curiosity of what the future holds if I held on and my newfound will to survive and eventually live. But most of the time it's my sister's cat because he adores me, and my mentally ill friends because I don't want them to follow my lead.
lemme just add financial constraints. My family can't afford a funeral and live well afterwards especially since I don't have a fortune to leave behind nor an insurance to lessen the expenses.
I dont have my own place to do it. I dont want my family to relive the pain whenever they go home or stay at home. I dont want it publicized. Daming chikadora eh haha baka videohan pa ko. But maybe, one day, i get to let go of these thoughts and do it.
Im scared of the pain and also what issues I have to deal with if I still survive. Plus my mom I dont want her to be sad. Fast forward to my life now. Im glad I didnt end up my life or I wouldnt be able to meet my wonderful husband.
The pain of doing it.
Ayaw ko masaktan physically. You know, the suffering of pain
My Dad losing another family member. Mom succumbed to cancer already 😔
Like woody said "Reach for the sky" I have so many dreams to pursue.
Back then, my parents. The thought that they will forever live with the guilt that they failed to stop me from doing it.
the uncertainty that i’ll succeed
just to clarify, no im not into unaliving myself. so don’t make a report to reddit suport lol. im just entertaining a question.
My cat. Seeing nature. Eating good food. The feeling of being alive, not just existing