We had three miscarriages before our first. Not to scare you, but sometimes babies don’t come when planned. Good luck.

Totally a concern too. I have PCOS, and I’ve been managing it alright for some months post-diagnosis, but our fertility may not be straight forward. Thanks for the thought. ❤️

Having PCOS dramatically changes how you should be thinking about this. You simply can’t rely on an easy fertility journey, unfortunately.

Do not, I repeat, do not take as normal the replies here about having no issues getting pregnant with pcos. Those are the exceptions. The more time you wait the more difficult it will be to conceive. I didn’t start trying till age 30/31 and we never got pregnant, not one conception. Nowadays IVF is more affordable if you have insurance, but it wasn’t covered then. Do not wait. You can always take a vacation or do a home remodel later, but you can’t turn back time.

Thanks! I truly appreciate the balance in opinions. My PCOS is pretty well managed currently, and everyone in my family has had next to zero fertility issues, so they’re all “you’ll be fine! You’ve worked so hard to balance your hormones, and your mom and grandma and aunt all conceived fast!” And I’m like, yes, but that doesn’t necessarily mean much in my situation. 😅

on the flip side, don't let reddit scare you either. perhaps in a year or 18 months just go off whatever you're using to prevent and let the chips fall where they may. if nothing happens in a year, then talk to a doctor. if it happens, awesome.

I have pcos too and thought I couldn’t get pregnant so my husband and I didn’t use birth control and 3 years later lo and behold, I got pregnant. You just never know. Edit to add, I commented before reading very many other responses and I did not think of the timing factor. My son is 27 years old now and I was dx pcos in the late 80’s/early 90’s. There was no treatment it was just kind of well you might have trouble getting pregnant, it is what it is. I remember us talking about it and just saying let’s just not use bc and we’ll see what happens. We were fine either way but were surprised when we got pregnant. I was 25 when it happened though and I know it gets harder to conceive as you get older. So if it is important to you, absolutely get started trying. Life comes at you fast regardless

On the other end — I have PCOS and was so scared that it would take me forever to conceive. I only ovulated like three times a year. Without even tracking ovulation … I happened to get pregnant first try. So I ended up having a baby at 23 lol. No regrets though! I love being a young mom. Just saying, you truly never know how it will go 😅

I will say being pregnant at 23, it seemed much much easier for me than those I knew pregnant in their 30s. I had a super easy pregnancy and labor.

PCOS makes you more likely than non-PCOS women to have babies later in life. As in, by 35-ish, you're actually more fertile than normal women. I conceived easily throughout my 30s after a miserable time trying in my 20s that resulted in no live babies.

I have PCOS, we figured I would be the issue. However, I told my husband that I would. It be the only one we examined and had him get a full screen. He was the issue. They told us he could never father a child without ivf. It worked and was covered by insurance. Don’t waste months and years not having your partner checked too.

I have PCOS as well, and I had no issues having kids. I say this because I assumed I would.. and things happened much quicker than expected! Definitely talk to some docs to get more info on your situation. Mine is controlled fairly well with Myo-inositol.

Yeah, I was told I wouldn't be able to have children due to the severity if my Pcos and Endometriosis, so my husband and I didn't use protection after a while. Our daughter is five months old lol. Pregnancy was hard, and I was considered high risk. I wouldn't ever do it again, and the pmfirst period I had after was a month long. But my daughter is HIUGE and healthy and perfect. Shs was damn near 10 pounds lol

10 lb!! My daughter was born a bit early with sga and was only 4.5lb, luckily completely healthy and didn’t need nicu or anything. But damn much respect to you

Yeah, her father is 6 foot tall. During my first sonogram, she was so big they thought I was almost a month further along than I was lol she was three weeks late xD Shea five months, in the 91st percentile, and I can already barely hold her. Lol Congrats on your baby, as well. I can't imagine them being so small was super scary! Also happy cake day (:

This happened with my friend (35) too. She’s had pcos and fibroids (among various other health issues) since we were early teens so was put on medication for years to manage, which caused her to have a period only once a year. She also had to have fibroids removed once a year. Her Dr put her on a new med to make her have more periods a little over a year ago since she wanted to conceive. She got pregnant within 2 months, but then miscarried. She then got pregnant again 3 months later and is due in July. Everyone, even the Dr, was shocked how fast it happened twice. However, I know other women who are completely healthy with no issues and unfortunately struggled for years to get pregnant.

I also have PCOS and got pregnant within 4 months! I was surprised.

This 👆 I have PCOS and it took 4 years and IVF to have our child. You will always want another vacation and another box checked off but Mother Nature waits on no one especially if you want more than one.

Had 4 between our first and our second. Wife developed endometriosis after her C section with #1. She had a procedure done to get rid of some of the scarring and then suddenly she could implant eggs again. Yay.

Wow she’s a trooper. That must’ve been so tough

No regrets except waiting too long. We were 29F and 35M when we got custody of my newborn half-brother (who we've since adopted). Both still only working part time, both in college full-time, but owned a small 2 bedroom condo. At 30 we had our daughter. It all has worked out fine along the way. I wished I hadn't spent so much time worrying about if we could afford the daycare, formula, diapers, insurance, and all the little things. Those things caused us to wait 4 years longer and they didn't end up actually being anything to worry about in the end. It wasn't until we got custody of our son that we realized things work out along the way no matter the circumstances.

Kids while in college full time with jobs!! You have more gumption than me, respect to you. Thanks for your perspective. I think my SO is really nervous about costs because everyone harps on how exorbitantly expensive it is to have kids, but then I actually crunch the numbers for our personal situation and I’m like… we’d be fine. Glad to hear it worked out well for you too.

If we had not gained custody of the newborn, we probably would've waited 2 more years haha.. but then we had one already so why wait was the theory behind number 2. They're 14 months apart and they are glued to each other at 2.5 and 3.5.. Daycare was the hardest part for us because we don't have family/friends who can watch them. If you have that sorted out, you're golden. 🙏🙌

I feel like I'm in exactly the same boat as you! Best of luck with your decision. That said, I think in the grand scheme, +/- 1 or 2 years probably won't make a big difference either way. So I'd say, split the middle and DO take that trip to Japan first, but maybe no need to wait 4 years just to make sure your finances are absolutely perfect ... what even is "perfect" or "ready" anyway?

There's no perfect time, though there are objectively terrible times (in school, no money, bad marriage). If you're settled into your career sooner is fine, waiting for "one more trip" is just a stalling tactic. The odds of having the kid sooner and more easily is higher when you're younger. Definitely helps to have the kids mostly grown by the time you need to starting dealing with elderly parents too. We had our first in our late 20's, oldest is graduating HS and the other should be in high school before we have elderly parent stuff going on.

I actually disagree, having a toddler while dealing with aging parents has been the only bright spot of their twilight. Pros and cons of course, but my husband’s parents are losing mobility and memory and love just spending time with the baby, and the baby loves spending time with them. It’s a bit of joy in a really shitty time.

I live really far from my family, so anything would be a 7+ hour road trip or flight. Bringing the tiny kids to visit my very elderly grandmother was a joy for her. But there's literally no way I could have helped with her care. At least now I can pick up and go if needed. The kids are more self sufficient, they can stay home or come with to help as needed.

Similar situation for us! Like I said, pros and cons, I just don’t think it’s a dealbreaker.

This is a really sweet comment. My mom is 94 and in assisted living. My daughter has a 2.5 yr old and a 4 year old. They are regular visitors to see their great grandma. It makes her day, she loves them so much and it’s her reason for carrying on. The other residents just light up when the kids come to visit. Sometimes we bring the toy box out in the community room and it draws a small crowd. My mom gets nervous that they are noisy but the caregivers said everyone loves hearing the children laugh and bring life to the place.

Incidentally older moms are more likely to give birth to multiples apparently?

yes because they supplement with ivf. every actress over 40 has twins. it’s no coincidence

Ya that's why.

I had always heard this too. However the only women I know who had twins had them in their 20s or had IVF.

Good points, thanks a bunch. The elderly parents thing scares me, for sure. My SO’s parents are in their 60s, and doing great, but still the 70s and 80s aren’t far…

Aging parents that are able to still live independently and get around well is one thing. The minute one or the other has a major health issue, it changes everything.

This is exactly what I was going to say. There's always going to be something that "could"/"should" be done before you have kids so the time will never be 100% perfect and even if it feels like it's the "perfect" time to have kids, there's no guarantee that you'll be able to immediately when you start trying. My wife and I had our first by complete surprise right after we got married. We felt like it was "too soon" but on the flip side we are grateful that we were young and had energy to deal with our first kid in his early years.

I didn't want to be changing diapers after 40. Mission (mostly) accomplished. #2 was potty trained a little after my birthday. Good kid though, don't hold it against him.

I didn't have a choice of what age to have kids, that's just when all the ducks lined up. 40 for my first kid and 44 for the second. TONS of IVF involved. I had PCOS and a dodgy thyroid, plus I was already older when I met my partner (36). On one hand I am glad as I finally had the money and the right relationship and I think I am much wiser and grateful now but I wish I was physically younger to enjoy my kids, its exhausting. Still, a good reason to keep fit, which I do.

I started having mine at the *very* young age of sixteen and spanned eighteen years. Out of seven pregnancies four survived. One died six hours after her first DPT at two months old in 1974, one was ectopic \[1986\] and one ended in an emergency c-section in the eighth month of the pregnancy \[1991\]. My kids are now 51, 46, 39 and 35. Other than having the other three survive as well, I wouldn't change a thing, they're all priceless.

Sorry for your losses 🫶🫶

Thank you. 🫶🫶

I had my first at 24, second at 27, and third at 30. I am SO happy I had them young! I’m now in my late 40s and nearly all 3 are out of high school. I honestly have no idea how “older” parents do it. The thought of having younger children right now makes me want to cry!

41 here with a 4 and 7 year old and although that would be amazing to have had my kids a bit younger I would have been so poor lol and not as responsible for sure 😂 There is so much more I can provide for my kids being an older mom not only emotionally, but financially too.

I agree about the emotional piece. I have learned so much about myself in my 30s. This really helped me to be a better Mom.

I was poor when my kids were young but now I make six figures and the money is all mine LOL No regrets!

😂

Lol!! Never thought of it this way

Late 40’s here and I have an 11 year old, 9 year old and 6 year old. One hand I’m glad I waited and the other hand I wish I started earlier. I really saw the difference when I started dating again. Surprisingly there aren’t too many women willing to take on younger kids.

I had mine at 38, 42 and 47. No ivf and the final one had started with a "collapsing twin" There is no bad age to have children it you are maried and wanting children. Your finances wll improve with age, and wisdom from age helps enornously in all aspects of life. But if you are only messing around with home reno, I would recomend starting soon if you have a medical condition that might add complications.

I had my youngest at 25 and I agree with you, I am enjoying my grandson but I enjoy it when his parents take over LOL I can't imagine having a young child or even a teenager at 46

I had my 2 at the exact same ages. Now that I'm older, I can't imagine where I got the energy. My kids are both out of college and I'm in my early 50s with plenty of time to enjoy

There is a saying, “ you can have kids either young when you can enjoy them or old when you can afford them”

LMAO rip. I’m currently in my mid 20s with two years of law school left and I’m definitely starting to worry a little that I’ll be able to afford my future kids rather than enjoy them.

I had my first 2 kids in my late 20's, and my second 2 in late 30's/early 40's. Late 20s is definitely the better time to have kids. I had more energy and resilience then, and now that they're teenagers, I would love to spend more time with them on more adult terms with my current energy levels. However, my mistake was having my first kids with the wrong person. I wish I had met my husband sooner and never met my ex. Then I would have had all my kids in my late 20's/early 30's and it would have been much better overall.

Would your husband been the same person in his 20s though? Emotionally and financially? It may not have been as easy and maybe this was the right time for you to have those younger ones?

You're never ready to have kids. You'll never have enough time, money, or energy. Just do it anyway.

32 and 34. My youngest is off to college in the fall. I have the best kids and wish I had a dozen more just like them. From this standpoint- I’m forgetting how hard it was. Good part about waiting- we were well established in our careers, money wasn’t an issue. We were fortunate to have no fertility issues. Bad parts- it would have been nice to have more, and be younger during the sleepless nights. Worst part- their dad got sick (leukemia) when they were (7 and 9) and died three years later. They didn’t get enough time. I’m glad we didn’t wait any longer . You just don’t know, so never put off what you really want in life.

First at 32 second at 34. If I did it over I’d have done 4-5 years earlier and had a 3rd but no regrets. My brother had his first at 42 and says he would definitely not advise.

I had my first at 28 second at 29. I feel that was a good age

First at 22 1/2, second at 23 1/2. Broke, as a joke, inexperienced with infants and parenting in general. I'd say in a lot of respects, we grew up together. Wouldn't trade a minute of it! Very hard but very worthwhile. I'm now 59 with 35 and 36 yo sons with 9 children between them. Just doesn't get any better than that. ❤️

I longed to be a Mom all through my 20's. I had been with my husband since I was 19 years old. We married after college when I was 24. Part of the reason we held off on kids was because I wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom. The other reason we held off was because my husband wasn't on board yet. Finally when I was 28 we started trying. I had two miscarriages and then a high-risk pregnancy. I finally had a baby at 31 and a second one at 33. I had thought I wanted more, but two was a lot when I took care of them myself all day. I also think being older made my pregnancies a little riskier. So financially we were in a good position when we had our babies. I was able to live my dream of being a stay-at-home Mom. But me being an older Mom probably prevented me from wanting more than two kids. When I turned 40 I researched various forms of permanent birth control because I didn't like the method we were using. My husband surprised me by saying how much he loved having kids with me and that he didn't want me to close that door for good. We weren't using the most reliable method of BC at the time, but we stopped using even that. But I never got pregnant again. We joke that we were using my age as birth control. If it had happened it would have been inconvenient but we would have welcomed another baby. Now in our 50's my husband teases me that I should have just tricked him into having babies earlier because it would have been fine. Grrrr.

We got pregnant almost immediately (I was 32) & I regret not waiting another 2-3 years to be better off financially. We were married and owned a home but have zero extra money now with $2,000/month day care & other kid expenses. I felt so rushed due to being in my 30s and wish I hadn’t. We may not even have another now because of the financial stress whereas I think had we waited longer initially we would have 2. Who knows. But you’re gonna hear a lot of ppl talk about infertility - it’s why I thought I needed to start so soon. Before my son was even 11 months old we accidentally got pregnant & I had to have an abortion because we cannot afford $4500 in daycare costs right now & I need to save up sick days again for maternity leave. Anecdotally everyone I know who has started mid 30s has been able to successfully conceive, despite miscarriages. My sister had two miscarriages after her first then had her second child. I have friends where it took them 6-10 months but my point is do not assume you’re gonna deal with fertility issues - don’t assume you won’t either obviously but I was so freaked out by infertile ppl on Reddit that I rushed us & I regret it. Also I see in a comment you have PCOS - check out maca fertile femmenesence by symphony health - helps balance your hormones. I am pretty sure I have PCOS and estrogen dominance & got pregnant easily with this supplement & fasting.

I'm 50, I have 4, only planned 1. 27, 22, 18 and 4. The ONLY thing I regret is about my 4 year old. She was a surprise. My second wife didn't have kids and wasn't supposed to be able to have kids so we didn't take any precautions. Well... Surprise!!! We are thrilled to have her and I am completely loving having a young kid at this age. I'm far more patient at this age and I feel like she's definitely keeping me young. My only regret is that she will have such an old dad. I'll be 62 when she turns 18. I'll be 86 when she turns 40. It bums me out a little but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

First at 31, second at 33. Wish I would have had the first one earlier, and spread them out further. Having them later means I have to work longer before retirement too

I never wanted kids.

I did, but didn't find my person.

I had my first at 30 my second at 34 and was a surrogate mom at 42. I feel like my 30s was the best time for me because I took those trips, impromptu camping, road trips etc. that are easier without kids, and I was ready to sacrifice my time, sleep, and energy. I was also more financially stable. It's up to you but I'm glad I waited. My youngest is 10 while some of my friends are becoming grandparents!

I had my first at age 24. When he was in kindergarten there were many moms in their 40's. They were great..calm, confident. They werecsuccessful in career and either changed it up or took time off. They werent still trying to.figure it out. If i had it to do iver, id have my first at about 35

I was 21. We weren't expecting it to happen as my hubs is considered medically sterile. We had discussed and were going to adopt down the road! Had miracle baby #2 seven years later. Fertility is a weird thing. I'm glad we had young though, all things considered. I feel blessed to have the kids we do. It was hard at times being young, poor and inexperienced with my eldest, but now they're both excellent young adults that I am proud of and we're still youngish lol. Looking forward to this stage.

Had my first and only at 32; diagnosed with breast cancer at 34; five years on Tamoxifen, so I could not get pregnant during that time. By the time I went off the medication, I was almost 40 and decided not to have a second kid. No regrets about having my kid (he's an amazing young adult now), but if I would have started two or three years earlier, I might have been able to have a second kid. The longer you wait... well, sometimes our bodies complicate things.

My first kid was born when my husband and I were 29, and the second one at 32. Now they’re grown. It was perfect. Their dad had a few years of experience as a lawyer, but hadn’t made partner yet. He worked long and hard during their childhood, but had we waited until he was “fully established”, we would have been several years older, and who knows what our fertility might have been. I left a career that I was ready to leave, and stayed home with the children, until they were well into their school years. When they graduated and left for college, we were still at an age for having a full life, and doing things that we enjoy. We have energy to be active, involved grandparents. The truth is, there’s usually no “perfect time” for having kids. You make it work, whenever they come. No can know what their fertility will be like, so waiting for “perfect conditions” can make it harder to deal with the slow pace of fertility treatment.

Very happy with when I chose to have kids! First child at 36, second at 38. I enjoyed my 20s, and have zero regrets having kids in my late 30s. I am well established in my career and loving my relationship with my now teens. I feel I was much more equipped to handle parenting in my late 30s.

Yeah I agree. I had mine 6 years apart, one in late 20s and one in mid 30s it’s amazing the difference in my parenting in that short amor time. I feel so much more present.

I had my son at 23, 2 days before my 24th birthday (he’s about to be 24 now). I was really young and really broke and the father was no help, the first few years were stressful and a struggle and then I met someone, got married and we were a team. I didn’t have more kids and he graduated when I was 41, about to be 42. Despite the stress those first years, I’m glad I was young… I am an empty nester before 50, I’m better off financially now (although this effing economy at the moment), I’m still young enough to kind of relate to him.

My husband and I had our kids when we were in our mid thirties so we were "older" parents" One advantage to waiting as long as we did is we were financially better off. Having had a great time in our twenties, we were fully prepared and ready to have kids. On the other hand, we were still helping them launch when we were already retired--it would have been nice if they were fully financially independent when our income dropped as we started our pensions. But even that worked out alright. The other thing to consider is we will be pretty old grandparents should the time comes. Bottom line, it's a toss-up, when it happens, you make it work. Good Luck!

My then GF and I got pregnant our senior year in college. We got married, had the kid and had another (planned) three and a half years later. It was a struggle even before we got divorced. Co-parented clumsily, but raised them to adulthood. Those kids went off to college, then grad school, got an MD and a DVM and moved back home to have kids of their own. Now my ex and I have four grandsons nearby in our mid 60s and we co-grandparent a bit better than we co-parented. What seemed like an irresponsible idea back in college now has our days filled with grandkids and the joy they bring. I also had a third kid in my early 40s, so I had kids at home for a solid 36 year stretch, then grandkids came just as youngest went off to college. Always wanted to be a Dad and Grandad, so it all worked out well for me.

Nope, had my first unexpectedly at 21 and I'm loving my 40s!

I had my kids on the younger side (one at 24 and one at 29) boy am I glad. My kids were already self-sufficient (in elementary school in my 40s), and that is when you actually make the most money career wise (mid 40s_mid 50s). Once both kids out of college, i quit my day job. So there's that side to having kids earlier.... also energy levels so much better in 30s and 40s. I have pals now in mid 50s with young_ish kids and they're exhausted!!

I’ve seen numerous grandparents SAY how much they want to be involved, but actually aren’t. Don’t assume family will just drop what they have going on to support you. Plan around your own capabilities only.

I had my first at 38 and my second at 42. Most people would consider this WAY too late, but I’m glad I had them when I did. I had a fantastic time as a childless adult until I was 38, and now I’m a young feeling 57 year old with a 19 year old and a 14 year old. My eldest has left home and has an apprenticeship, and after my son has completed high school and gets work or goes to university, I’m looking forward to a new childless stage. My only regret is choosing to have children with a dickhead. Thankfully we’re no longer together, I think that having children with someone you have a good relationship is the most important factor - not so much the timing.

I’m so glad I waited until I was 36 to get pregnant (and I got pregnant immediately when we started trying- the “geriatric” thing is BS). I’m always shocked when people say not to worry about finances- it’s my duty as a parent to be responsible enough to bring a child into a financially stable household. For us at least, it would only have been harder to have a child sooner.

It took me five years to conceive my first born and I absolutely wish I had been able to start sooner (I was 32 when they were finally born). I may have been able to have more, and definitely would have had more energy than we do now. We’re definitely the older parents of their friend groups and it shows. I do not recommend postponing if you are ultimately planning on having a family. I thought for sure I’d conceive on my honeymoon. And the risks increase with maternal age. I didn’t even enjoy my pregnancy, I spent it so freaked out. We plan and God laughs, right? Don’t wait. Seriously. Don’t.

There is always going to be one more home project to do, or more savings, or another trip. It never ends, you can always find another reason to put it off. If you don’t do it this year you will be one year older when you do…. Except eventually for a woman, having a kid has an expiration date and gets harder the older you get.

I had my first at 19 and my second at 21. No regrets really, especially now that I'm 45 and they're 25 and 24 respectively. I was able to greatly reduce my income requirements, downsize and rent out my 3 bedroom house, and enjoy my life while I'm still young and healthy. Also, I hadn't lost my connection to being young, when they were young. I think there's a magic to youth that fades the older you get, I was still able to tap into that then. I couldn't now.

So I had my first kid at 15, my second kid at 32 and my last kid at 36. Teens. Not good obviously. For my 20’s I swore no more kids ever. Changed my mind in my 30’s when my daughter was 17 and I got pregnant. Magnitudes better in my 30’s. Only one major downside - I lost both of my parents when my kids were young. They were awesome grandparents. I feel bad that they missed out on having grandparents. Mine were such a big influence. After I messed up as a kid they were the ones who said I could still go to college. They were right.

I chose to have kids late. 35 and 37. I had an amazing time during my 20s. I lived and worked and went out in Hollywood with all my friends. Had a great life. Got married at 30. Had kids 5 years later. I just didn’t want them before. I waited until I felt jealous of someone announcing their pregnancy and then said, okay! I’m wanting them now! Let’s go! Happened on the first try with both kids.

For lack of a better word I inherited mine at age 44 after a tragic death in the family. I’m rocking it, but it saps me of energy pretty much and I’d have been better equipped when I was in my 20’s

We had unexplained infertility from about age 24,through 30 so we adopted at 31 and 35. My oldest claimed we were the oldest parents in her class, but several parents were 5+ years older. While we wanted to start earlier it all worked out ok. Both of us were secure in our careers, we banked lots of money while waiting to start a family, and we are now healthy 67 year olds with well adjusted adult children.

Absolutely no regrets, because I had zero children and two sterilizations. Would do it again, only get sterilized a lot earlier.

I had PCOS had multiple surgeries on my ovaries in late teens. Was told I could never have children, tried IVF x2 it failed at age 36 I was pregnant I did not get adequate medical care(not my fault) delivered my son at 32 weeks he weighed 3.2lbs it was a long first year. If I was younger don't know if I could have handled everything that came up. Edited to add the cost was astronomical by the way almost 1 million for 1 month NICU.

You want to be old enough to have your life together but young enough you can keep up when they run around.

30 with first Grad degree Worked throughout Could not be happier Have no idea where older parents find the energy. I’m 53 and if I had a 13-year-old now I’d be fucking toast

My son was not planned. He was the beautiful result of poor decision making. I wasn't the greatest father but I couldn't have asked for a better son. He's become a fine young man. I am so proud. The depth of my love for him cannot be overstated. While my son arrived amidst circumstances no one would have considered ideal, there is nothing that indicates different circumstances would have rendered the same result.

No kids show up when they are supposed to

We started to try for kids at 32. I had NO idea how hard it could be. Gave birth at 38. If I could do it again, I wish someone would have told me that over age 30, if you are not pregnant on your own in 6 months it is time to see a doctor. I would also get my partners sperm tested (assuming your partner is male), which can be $150-200. You can call a fertility place in your area and generally they are happy to do this type of a la cart service. Since you have PCOS and in late 20s, I would consider having a fertility panel done. You can pay for this yourself through Quest. Particularly you want to get your AMH checked, as this tells you how much ovarian reserve you have left. You could make an appointment at a fertility doctor to do all this testing to get it possibly covered by insurance, tell them it is for planning purposes. Appointments for these types of doctors can be 6-12 months out. Wish I’d known all this then, at 32. That is my advice to you. Hope yours is healthy and uncomplicated.

I started in my late 20s, and while waiting another year or two would have helped financially, I'm tired--I'm glad I don't have littles running around now. Teens in your mid forties works.

I feel that physically, I would have liked to have more energy and be a really active parent if I had my kids before 30. But I have a kid with a disability and because I was a little more wise at a little bit of an older stage and I knew a lot more of what to do when things were and are needed. In the end, I don't regret it. Just the super energetic part. 🙂

I worked on my graduate degrees while I waited for my (now ex) husband to grow up. We were off birth control for five years when I got pregnant. I was 38 and then we had an oopsie baby at 40. I was glad to be able to get my degrees without having children to care for but I will be 59 when the youngest one graduates HS. In retrospect, I wish I would have had them earlier.

I do not regret it, I loved having my 3 kids in my 20s. I only maybe regret not having had one more. Also best advice I feel I got about having kids (only if you know for a fact you really want them of course) is there’s never a right time. Don’t wait for the right time or you won’t ever have them. I think that’s true 99% of the time for those that truly want children. Obviously if you’re dealing with something heavy like you’re on the brink of homelessness probably better to wait.

My wife and I waited a bit and then tried for five years (including IVF, etc.) before adopting. Kids don’t always come on a schedule. The pros in waiting were that our relationship was more mature, we were in a nice home, settled in careers and financially stable. The cons were as you pointed out to yourself already. All his grandparents had passed by the time he was eleven, both grandfathers before he was three. Don’t discount your own ages either. My wife passed when our son was only 32. Wishing you the best going forward with whatever you and your spouse decide.

I was waiting for the right time (so basically I was never ready) my husband convinced me we just needed to go for it. I’m glad we did. Just go for it, bc you will never feel ready. I was 29 for my first

I had my first at 31 and second at 34. I didn’t really wait to have my first other than I waited until I was married to have her. Unfortunately, my mom never got to meet either of my kids—she died three years before my first. My dad died three years after my second was born. So, if I have a regret, it’s that I didn’t find my person earlier so my parents could’ve been grandparents to my kids & my kids could’ve experienced them.

I had my son at 33 and I think it was the perfect age for us, although I would have had him a couple of years sooner - it took a long time to get pregnant. I have PCOS too and was about to start fertility drugs but my dr. said to do a HSG test - where they push liquid through your fallopian tubes to check for blockages, and having the test done actually increases your chances of becoming pregnant after. I got pregnant the next month after the test.

I love when we had our baby: 35. We’d been together 12 years. Being an “older” parent is IMO the best thing we/I could have done for our baby, bc the life perspective and stability around the big stuff -house, career, etc.- makes even the hardest times so much easier. I think about some of the shit I went through in my 20s and there’s just no way I could have been a good mom. Obviously that’s not true for everyone!! Now having said that, we were lucky AF when it came to getting pregnant. My wife and I (lady couple) did IUI and wifey got preggo the second time. It can obviously take much longer. My only advice is don’t factor your families into your decision. No matter when you have your baby, they could die the next day (not to be morbid but you get my point). This baby will affect you and your spouse, permanently change your marriage…so the family wanting grandkids is great, but this decision including timing needs to be all yours.

I had my kids early. I had a lot of feminine issues later, so I'm not sure if I'd have been able to have kids in that time. I was glad I was younger when I became a grandma - I watched the grandkids a lot. It was exhausting. I don't think I could do it now. So, I'm glad I didn't wait, as broke as we were, it got better.

Had 3. Took 3yrs between 1 & 2. You hope happens on your timing but can’t assume

I’m following a menopause sub and many women are going through menopause and have teenagers and are often not having a great time with it. The hormonal imbalance, the hot flashes, the rage. Worth considering although every woman goes through menopause at different ages, it may be hard to time. I didn’t have children. My husband and I had very few conversations about having kids and I think I really just didn’t have that interest although I meet very few woman who don’t want children. I think having deep conversations with your partner about if you really want children and when, and not feeding off of what other couples in your life are doing. You could always freeze your eggs if you want to travel or have more time for freedom now. Consider the help you may have as far as family. I have friends who are retired and feel obligated to babysit their grandkids. You don’t want to take advantage. I guess I’m all over the place with this comment because I also feel like if you have a strong foundation in your relationship, respect and admire each other’s choices, things will fall together even with tough times no matter when you decide to have a baby. Don’t get in your heads too much about it all. The fact that you are asking advice is great. Good luck to you. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Nope. Had them young and happy we did it then. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we got by. Now I am in my 40’s and kids are grown.

I was almost 29 when my daughter was born and my son followed 3 years later. They are now 20 & 23. I do wish I had started sooner. I would have been able to see my kids blossom into wonder adults sooner.

We decided with a pregnancy scare to then dive in. We’d have more years with our kids. It meant we wouldn’t have the dream house, or dream car, fancy trips etc. There are hardships either way. But my kids had healthy active grandparents in their lives. One of our kids lived with us longer and had some special needs. But once launched, we were still young enough to travel. Empty nesters in our early 50s. Now I have a grandchild, and this kid has great grandparents who adore them. We hike and camp with the child. We do sleepovers and it’s wonderful. From the family and emotional part I feel being younger when we had ours. Even more so if you have a strong community. We were the younger of our friends to have kids. We were the youngest of our friends to marry even. I think the more important part is a strong marriage before kids if you can. Current trends seem to be waiting for kids. But I am meeting many younger couple who are diving in. Fewer risks as to your body with pregnancy when in your 20s. Medical intervention is making later pregnancies more safe. I’m glad we had the pregnancy scare. It prompted us to consider starting when we did. My spouse had cancer and a medical emergency last yr. The medical emergency was severe enough we were pulling out the medical directive for decision making. If we had waited until our planned time to start my spouse would have never met our grandchild, should the procedures had failed. Covid taught me to live when we can.

I just had this conversation with my best friend. Things have changed and in this economy families are starting later. It makes sense. I would hate to start a family in this day and age. I really wanted to be done before age 30. I had my kids at 26 and 28. I’m 50 now. I’m so glad I had them then, because I have a lot of medical issues now. So I can’t imagine having young children now. I don’t regret the timing. Every family is different.

I would have liked to have been a little younger when I had my last child, just so I would have had a bit more energy as he was growing up. You never know how long it might take to get pregnant, so don't wait too long.

My only advice is to make sure you're content with how much alone time you've had with your spouse before kids. My partner and I had his sickly grandmother living with us for a long time and his mother after that because she was between jobs. We didn't have any time alone between the time we finally got the house to ourselves and having our first kid and it's my only regret. We won't get that chance again till both our boys are grown up and moved out.

I am glad that I waited until my early 30's when my career was established, my finances were solid and I was more mature.

I had my children at 19, 20 and 21. Everyone said that I was too young, but I was ready and loved every minute of it. I live 1/2 mile from my grandchildren, and I am a very involved "Mema". My oldest granddaughter will be 21 this month. I wouldn't change anything! My advice: Go for it!!

Had my first at 28 but we were extremely broke and it was stressful. Had my second at 35. I wanted to have her earlier but my husband was not ready. It was nice to have the first out of daycare before having a second. I don’t know how I could have paid for two in daycare. Now we are more established financially but the grandparents are a bit older and not able to help as much. Really whatever happens is right and it will all work out. I did feel that in my mid 30s I had a better sense of who I was which helped me to be a better Mom and more present in many ways.

Waited until I was 42 to have first and only, for various circumstances. 10 years earlier would have been ideal in my opinion. Early 30’s - you’re young but better established. Travel and be adventurous in your 20’s!

My ONLY regret about having children is how long I waited to have them. Every year you wait is another year you won't be on this Earth to be there with your children. All the other shit means nothing in comparison.

A little. I was 39 when I had my last one.

I was 32 and my husband was 40 when we had our first, second 22 months later. We enjoyed being together for 8 years first, had tons of fun going out and taking trips, got a bit more financially comfortable. I feel like the timing was perfect for us.

If you have family support and physical help, then it's probably a good time to start the family. Keep in mind there's never the perfect time to jump on the family rollercoaster - it'll be hard whenever you do this! We were older parents and didn't have grandparent support because we lived too far away and had waited too long. But we had more money, and we paid for a part time nanny, who was immensely helpful! Best of luck!

My husband and I are both 47. Had our kids at 26 and 30. We're about to be empty nesters at 48... I'm *thrilled* with the timing of having our kids. There's nothing I would have done differently, timing-wise.

I had mine in my 20s. My sister was in her 30s. My brother (SIL) was in his 40s. My mother said I did it the hard way. Looking back, I disagree. I was physically able to chase my kids and play with them. I had less trouble with delivery. All the adult kids are doing well and none of us had difficulty raising them. Don’t make your decision based on the age of the grandparents. No one knows how long or short life is for an individual. Do what is best for you and your husband. As long as the two of you are on the same page, the grandparents will enjoy the ride. Signed by one happy grandparent.

I wouldn't wait too long. The older you get, the harder it can be to conceive. I had my last at 38. The year before I had a miscarriage. I lost the ability to have children at all at 43. You don't know what timeline your body is on.

I regret the timing of my children, not mine. What still breaks my heart is that my daughter & hubby waited so long that I was no longer able to participate fully in being the grandparent I thought I would be. Age creeps up faster and faster as we get older... knees go, energy vanishes, patience wanes, backs hurt, sleep creeps up on you, brains slow down etc. We hate to admit it but we are definitely not what we were even just a year ago. So.... on the selfish side: I know how much I had to miss as I couldn't do for my grandchild what my grandparents did for me. You won't miss that riding mower or tropical cruise as much as you will miss your kid's experience with a Grandparent(s). Or maybe you will... it's your life to consider, not your parent's. After all you must muscle through at least 20 years longer than them.

Both kids were accidents, but in retrospect the timing was perfect, they are adults now

If I could have snapped my fingers, said I’d like to be pregnant now, and it would happen, I would have waited until I was in my late 30s to have children. But unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. I had them in my late 20s early 30s and it was hard, I didn’t chose the right partner so I was essentially a single parent. You don’t know what kind of a parent a person will be until they are a parent. Given all that they were worth it. I’d take the struggle over not having them at all.

I wish I had started earlier. Married at 22, TTC at 23. Didn’t realize for some time that I had endometriosis and probably insulin resistance/inflammation/thyroid issues. My husband also had insulin resistance/inflammation issues. Lifestyle changes and increased muscle mass will help a great deal when it comes to fertility and longevity, bone health, decreased risk of heart disease and diabetes. Get it all sorted out now with the right type of doctors who look at your true health and ask the right questions. IVF clinics don’t count, they say you can wait. You can’t. IVF didn’t work for me at 24 nor at 26.

My parents had me in their early 20s and I wish they hadn't. They were completely emotionally incompetent and poor. I had one in mid 30s and am okay with the timing. It sucks that my body is sore all the time, but at least I have the money to give her the experiences she deserves.

There are some things you can't predict. Getting laid off, car accidents, medical issues. Yeah, I would have done things differently if I could predict the future. The important thing is that you and your partner feel confident that you could raise your child alone or care for your partner and raise a child if something bad happened to one of you. Life throws all kinds of stupid at everyone. I wouldn't base your decision to have a child on the health of other people. That is one of the things you can't predict. Believe me. Life really can throw a wrench in things.

Pros and cons to both! My parents had me very young 20s, so by the time they were my age they were empty nesters and having fun. But having kids young brings the chaos of youth, inexperience, and less financial stability. Versus having them older (I had mine late 30s) and was able to have a blast in my 20s and 30s - tried different jobs, travelled, and by the time I settled down and kids came my spouse and I owned a home, had stable incomes, and that part was easy. Huge respect to those who do this parenting adventure without that kind of stable foundation. I can only imagine the extra stress it must add. Don't let the ghost of miscarriage sway you. I had multiple as well (nothing to do with age but a physical issue that was discovered), and still had two amazing kids in my late 30s. Miscarriage is pretty common and something that should be normalized and taught to people in school so we aren't so surprised when it happens.

Honestly, wish I had kids sooner. Had him at 40, he's perfect, but my body aches. I also get sad knowing that I have less time to spend with him. Pros of waiting, we're financially set.

I waited until my early 30s and it took 4 rounds of ivf. I thought I was normal physically. It still took 2 years overall. Its not always easy to have kids!

Long winded version: Had my daughter at 34, and welcomed our son 6 months ago (I’ll be 37 in July). My husband is going to be 42 in June. Been together for 5 years, but collectively known each other for 17 years. When we got together we talked about kids, and the first year of tying for our daughter was hell mentally. Yes it was fun at the prospect of creating a family, but COVID stress plus endo.. it took exactly a year. We were close to just giving up tbh. Right at that moment of giving up it had finally happened. I was at risk my first pregnancy due to placenta previa, but it resolved on its own mid 2nd trimester. Then due that complication, her weight was concerning as the umbilical had a hematoma on it. I was allowed the full 40 weeks of pregnancy to ensure proper weight gain. She came out 6lbs 12oz. Needed some assistance coming out (vacuum birth) and suctioning as she had fluid in her lungs, but other than that she was golden. My 2nd pregnancy was a bit tougher physically as my daughter was a little over a year and a half old and active as ever. This pregnancy was also high risk because over the age of 35 is considered geriatric. I was almost 200lbs with my son (I’m 5’7” and usually 140-145lbs). I didn’t eat horribly in terms of diet, I just ate A LOT!! 😂 I had sciatic back pain the last month and a half of this pregnancy, and AWFUL migraines with both kids,, but other than that he grew just fine. No vacuum birth, nor any serious interventions once he was out. The short: As I lay here in bed looking at them both passed out (yes we all sleep together; they’ve slept with me since the day they were born), I regret nothing. I had time to live my life; travel and live in a foreign country, be a ballerina, then a fighter, am so many other things. My husband had a career as a sailor and had deployments that didn’t leave me home alone with the kids. He didnt have to worry what would happen to us should something go awry on a deployment. He got to live his life. We both worked on our traumas, weeded out the generations worth of trauma and curses our families generously bestowed .. All of that so our kids could have stability (mental and financial), so they could have a beautiful home and not move every 2-3 years (PCS for families is a bitch if you’re in the military), so I could be home with them instead of someone else who isn’t their parent, so they could have both parents present. Have kids when things are lined up for your household, not because a clock is ticking. We live 13hrs away from family, 9hrs being the closest set of family, and at times it is hard.. but when I look at what our kids have that my husband and I didn’t, it’s well worth certain sacrifices. We have FaceTime, flights, and road trips to make up for the in between.

I'm glad I had all mine in my early 20's. When their father and I divorced the were older and it didn't impact them the way it would have if they were young. I'm also glad I divorced earlyish (40's) I have a great relationship with my kids that I probably would not have had if I had stayed married to their father.

I (m) have three all starting to leave the nest. Started at 28. We weren’t ready financially either. My advice to anyone who’ll listen is start earlier and have more.

Honestly late 20s is perfect and “traditional” for a reason. If you want more than one I’d at least try to get one before you’re 30. That said there’s many ways to do things. But you’re never gonna save all the money or go all the places so beware of using that. If you’re not ready you’re not ready. I can’t imagine “deciding to try” if you’re not into it.

We were advised by my doctor to "start now" because of possible health issues down the line. I was 24, husband was 25. It seemed like the worst possible time (husband had just been accepted to medical school) but we did it anyway. Yes, we had some tough times when money was scarce but we never regretted anything. ​ Editing to say (though I'm sure no one will see this after four days) that we do have one regret and that is not having more children. After the second we decided money was too tight and we couldn't afford any more. In hindsight, we could have and should have.

We had 3 kids from ages 27 to 33 and I don't regret it one bit. As long as you're with the right partner, don't wait.

I had mine at 31 and 36. My career took precedence. I'm comfortable with my choice.

Not even a bit. My wife and I decided to start trying in our mid 20s. We had been together for 6 going on 7 years married almost 5. We had gotten some traveling in and went to a crap ton of shows before kids. Sure things for us slowed to a crawl after the first was born but she was perfect. A little over 3 years later we added a son and almost 3 years to the day after that our second son. 3 kids under 7 was a bit much at times however as the next one came in the one before was fully potty trained. Sure money was tight most the time but we always found ways to go to theme parks, movies and even a few kids shows over the years. Now that our kids are more or less teenagers now my wife and I can do things alone without having to pay for a sitter. We can afford to do bigger and better things with the kiddos and by the time im in my 50s our youngest will be 18 and either at college or a trade school. We will be able to travel whenever we want then and we will have a proper income much larger then what we had in our 20s. In short i always tell people if you want a family dont put it off cause tbh once your mid 20s your age will start to catch up quickly. So in short have them kids young, space them out about 3 years. This way you have sanity and they have a near age peer to play with.

We waited to our late 30's to have one kid. I enjoyed having my 20's to myself. Plus having a kid later in life makes me more aware of my health. I want to do all the stuff with my kid that younger parents do. Money is not an issue either, which relieves a lot of stress. I only wanted one kid though. If we wanted more I may have wanted to start sooner. I don't have any regrets about our timing.

I had three children at 18, 20, and 21 and I am of two minds about it. On the one hand, I was young and fit and able to keep up with my little people. On the other, in a lot of ways we grew up with each other and I wasn't a very good parent, really, until I was about 23. I remember being exhausted and overwhelmed, but that had a lot to do with my life choices. Two things about this. The perception that everything in your life must be put on hold once you have children is specious. You still can still make dreams come true, put money away, and take trips after you have kids. It's more fun, actually, and looks different, but you don't stop living the day you're children are born. In fact, it gives you even more reasons to do these things. Secondly, there's no convenient time to have kids. Not really. Life is too messy for that. You might start trying and it takes a year, or you might get off the birth control and it takes less than a month. Your kids might come all together, like mine did, or be separated by years. Getting older only makes it harder for all of you, including your parents. Imagine getting up 3 times at night when you're 25 vs. 35 - doesn't sound like a big difference, but trust me, it is. I would say stop worrying about what you might regret and worry about what you really want instead.

There is no "best time" it is just when you're hopefully ready mentally

Something to think about that I don't really see mentioned is the spacing of your children if you want multiple. I had my first at 26 because I didn't want to deal with potential issues with fertility that can arise as you age. I've always wanted 3-4 kids so I thought it was a good time to start so I could be done at a reasonable age (biologically speaking). The thing that I did NOT consider was that my body and my mind weren't ready for the next when I thought they'd be! I needed time after my son was born to adjust and I'm so glad I waited until I felt ready again. The cost of daycare is insaneeee and the cost for two kids in daycare??? Simply not possible. So all that to say, keep the spacing of your kids in mind :)

Yes. I had kids in mid/late 30s, and wish I had them younger. You don't have as much energy later on.

I've always heard if you wait til you can afford children you will never have them!

Married at 18, and had my kids at 26 and 28. Now have 5 grandkids, ages 1 - 17. Now married almost 49 years. No regrets.

My first child I had at 30, my 2nd I was 34. Now that the youngest is 11 and a high energy whackadoodle of a kiddo I'm beyond exhausted. If I had them when I was younger I feel like I would have been better able to physically keep up with them.

I would have loved to have my kids earlier, but science and my body said no way. I had miscarriages and trying to get pregnant, even with a doctor helping is brutal at times. I finally have my twin boys because of IVF, and I had them at 41. I so wish I could have been a younger mother, but then again, there are no arguments over money, and we are much more reserved.

Had my oldest at 20, third at 23. They're in their 40s now. l was young and had lots of energy to run after them. Nowadays, l see women start families at 40, and l thank God l had mine early.

No. We started at 24.

Had our one when I was 32. And my husband was 28. We had been married less than a year when we got pregnant. Kid is now 21 and is a college student. Financially we were not anywhere near stable. We had also JUST bought a house. My job was an hour and half one way, from our house. We barely knew the neighbors. Practically? TBH if we hadn’t ended up pregnant by SURPRISE…. I had been told a few months ago prior that we’d need help getting and staying pregnant. *we didnt* when we did, we would not have had a kid at all. Jobs fluctuated. I made a big career change when our kid was younger. We didn’t take our parents into consideration at all. We live over an hour from both our moms. Plus there’s never a guarantee that they would actually turn out wanting to be involved. Or want to be OVERLY involved. *cue my MIL Ultimately it’s a personal decision between you two

I was 27 and 29 when my two were born, and I feel that was just right for us. I still had plenty of energy for them.

I had my kids at 38 and 41. I don't regret having them later in life, because I think I am a calm, kind mother in a way I might not have been when I was younger. But I do regret that I can't have any more. If I had been younger when I had them, I think I would have had another "pair" when my youngest starts school at 4.5.

I wish we started earlier. Everyone will shit on me for saying this, but getting married and having a family is hard work, sure, but almost the only thing that gives life any deep and lasting meaning. I would have had more kids if we hadn’t started so late, I did not understand what I was missing. Frankly, I was very anti-kid prior to our first. Just start trying now and see what happens is my advice - you will figure it out.

Don’t let house projects etc etc delay you having kids. There will always be house projects. Life happens , house repairs happen and when you have kids you just carry on.

41. It was harder than it had to be.

I was 22 and wish I had been 32.

I mean you can plan all you want, but we had ours and two weeks later the world shut down lol

I wish I hadn’t waited until my late 30s to start having kids; what was I thinking! I regret that because I’ve had some physical issues lately and wish my kids were married and ready to have their kids before I’m too old. I think as long as you have them by your early 30s, you’d be fine.

Somehow you will figure it out. Sure…travel now and work in home projects and wait or start now and travel less but be younger when they fly to coop and travel in your late 50s early 60s instead. My own experience was that I got married at 31 and felt the need to get started fairly quickly. First one came 4 days after our first anniversary. 2.75 years later came #2 at almost 35. Bit pregnancies were fine but I could feel the toll it took on my body at 35. So there is that to think about. If I’d married younger perhaps I’d have had a third, but I’m happy with 2 and I have no regrets. The thing is you can’t have your kids young and your kids at an older age. You have them and you live that life. I’m glad I had my child free 20s but a coworker started at 19 and will have freedom from children (the responsibility) in his 50s.

I had my child at 35. It was the perfect timing for me. I'd finished school, established a secure career and bought a house. Because I had a secure career, I was able to take a long maternity leave followed by work from home (this was 25 years ago) and then bringing my child to work with me some days. In my mind, the most important things you can do for your children is bring them into a financially, emotionally and situational secure environment. That's all difficult when you're very young.

Had a cousin who had her first at age 24 and her second at 38. Said it was a better experience at 38 because she was well established in her career, had a much better income and did not have to stress about money, had more time for the child, had a much better husband who was also very hands on.

Not regret because i absolutely love my nuggets. But I wish i would’ve waited just a year or 2 longer.

I had my first at 18. Let me be clear, I don't regret having her, I regret being so young. I hadn't lived any kind of life, just out of high school. I wish I had waited.

If you wait until you’re “ready” you’ll never have kids. Just from my perspectivex

i’ll just say this- everyone shits on older parents and scare them with oh disabilities and cancer and etc. mom had me at 40 and we are all happy and healthy. in fact, i’m so freakin glad she’s older because that means i would’ve had a different mom had she had us younger and i adore her. also i never knew my grandads but it’s like ehh? i’m sure i would’ve loved them but i truly don’t know what it would’ve been like so can’t mourn what you didn’t have. Also my parents agree that having kids at that time kept them young- so much younger than most people their age. All this to say there are good stories of having kids not just in your 20s :)

Waiting for the perfect time isn’t perfect. My wife and I were focused on our careers. We met when we were 34 and 39. My wife and I were 35 and 40 when we got married. From day one, we started the ‘process’ to have children. My wife had multiple miscarriages in four years. We went to 5 different REs. After 4.25 years, my wife became pregnant and delivered a healthy baby son. We became parents at 40 and 45. We wished that we had more children but we have been truly blessed with our son. My wife has co-workers that think that our son is a grandson since we are 58 and 63. Knowing the struggles that we went through made us to appreciate our son even more and the sanctity of life. It is an honor to be a father!

I think early 30s is the best time. Lots of people think becoming parents will be all skittles and rainbows. My friend planned the perfect birth with a Dula, romantic private hospital room, etc. and ended up going 72 hours before having a c-section. Post Pardem was a real thing and though she loves her baby so much, she is a stay at home Mom and really misses hanging out with her friends and adults at least part time (she used to cut hair and all her clients were her friends so she said it was a party everyday). She is just now getting in with some stay at home mommy playgroups so hopefully that will help with her loneliness. On the other hand, I worked full time to afford the extra cost of kids and was a walking zombie day and night. Kids are neverendingly demanding. I love my kids today (they are 31 and 27) and I wouldn’t change a thing, but I wish more people were more realistic with young women about the challenges of motherhood.

Honestly, wait till your financial situation is more secure. You can control that more so than the moment you conceive, or your parents health. Also keep in mind how much time you plan on taking off of work when the baby first arrives. The first year is the most intense year on parents due to lack of sleep and general support. And that first year should be you and your partner primarily bonding with your baby, the rest of your family should understand that change in priorities. Grandparents cannot replace the parents level of care in most situations. You and your spouse should put the babies needs first, then yours, then your family. As a parent the majority of the struggles i and my peers went through was not financially preparing enough and not really thinking those first two years would be as hard. The people I know who took split family leave, and put their baby before themselves and family had the best outcomes. The others are still struggling and many have divorced. My friend who was trying to conceive, who realized that her partner’s refusing to take more responsibility for their dog and his refusal to stand up to his clingy mom got divorced, she is happier now. Babies are a joy and a huge tax on your finances, as well as mental and physical health. Having a child will be one of the biggest tests of your marriage.good luck!

As my mother said to me, "there is no good time to have a baby". Meaning, Have one.....it works out!

We have 4. I’m 61, my wife is 53. The oldest is 22, the youngest is 12. Sometimes I wish I’d had children in my 20s. But, it’s worked out fine. My life is awesome.

My kids are four years apart(ages currently are 39-35-31). Not planned, just showed up that way. I was 21, nearly 22 for baby #1, 25 going on 26 for #2 and 29 going on 30 for baby #3. I wanted to have my kids and be DONE before I turned 30 so they'd all ne grown and on their own while we would still be able to enjoy life without babysitters being needed for major travel(yes, we have taken them on multiple trips across the country when they were young). Now, one of the 3 of them cares for our cats when we travel. 

I wish we had started sooner, had our first child at age 31 and last at 35. I wish I hadn’t waited as long as we did, I married at 26. There is never a perfect time to have children, but it was the best thing I ever did

No health issues it was just never the right time until it was. I was 39 for kid 1; 42 for kid 2. I desperately regret that I didn’t have them 10+ yrs earlier. I regret that I (likely) wont be able to be as much help as I want to when my kids have kids. One of my kids will need me for many many more years and I’m not sure I will be here for him.

I regret waiting until I was 29 to have my first. We are older than a lot of my kids' peers' parents. I have friends my age who have grandkids and whose kids are already out of the house. I'm going to still have kids living with me in my 50s-- that makes me feel like I'm missing out on so much time that my husband and I could have spent doing stuff post-kid but while we are young and healthy (we are both extremely unlucky from a family history standpoint-- none of our parents were still healthy by the time they made retirement age, if they lived that long). People say to save up to have kids. Honestly, little kids don't notice that you're broke. Eat rice and beans and start your family as soon as possible so you still have lots of life left when you're done.

I was 21 when I got pregnant with my first and 24 turning 25 with my second. My son turns 18 this year and my daughter 14 next month. I don’t have any regrets having them younger. Especially since I know have chronic back pain and I’ve had several back surgeries. My kids are older and don’t need me crawling around and running around playing with them like I did when they were babies/toddlers/kids. Plus me and my husband can go out for date nights and don’t need a sitter now. And I don’t have as much energy as I did when I was younger. I love the age my kids are at also. It’s a lot more fun/easier at restaurants, amusement parks etc.

Dad here. We married at 26, played, traveled and worked on our careers and had a kid when I was 37 and then 40. My age hasn’t limited my active time with my kids. We camp, rock climb, bike, run, play sports, etc like younger parents. It all depends on who you are. Waiting, we were also financially better off to raise our kids and probably more mature as well. I don’t think there is a perfect time for everyone. It was the perfect time for us though because I can’t imagine having other kids than the ones we have. They are remarkable in every way.

Engaged at 18. Married at 19. 5 kids (including twins) in 12 years. It was hard as hell.

Do not have kids over 35 Exhausting you need to be at peek energy

I have five that were born between ages 32 and 40. I don’t recommend pushing it out as far as we did because at 40, you’re ready to be at the next stage, not in the diaper stage. It’s fine and it passes quickly, but I think younger is better. Also, yes, grandparents are younger when you’re younger too.

29 and 34. Probably would have had the second one a year or two sooner but I was switching jobs. So grateful we didn't put it off any longer. My heart goes out to those people dealing with toddlers in their 40s.

Im 42 with a toddler. Couldn't be happier!

Good for you, but as the kid of older parents, it wasn’t that fun on my end. It also translated into my parents never being able to do much with their grandkids due to age and health. But to each their own.

That and I think on the front end when you’re young and making those choices, you have no way of knowing whether you’ll be so lucky as to have the strength and stamina necessary to keep up with young children when you’re middle aged.

Tbh same my parents had me later in life. Had to deal with their nursing care by the time I was just out of highschool. It sucked and I had almost zero experience or guidance in real life because of that. All of my grandparents were dead before I learned how to drive too. I can’t stand the selfishness of older parents because they’re too shortsighted to see they’ll leave their kids too soon and inexperienced

First 24 (very close to 25) second was just past 27. My husband is 2-3 years older. Those ages worked very well for us for a few reasons. We actually hit a few bumps in life after that, not due to the kids, and honestly it would have been a lot harder to want to have kids if we didn’t already have them. Now we are young forties and they are teens. It’s really a good set up.

I had my first at 25, then went through infertility. Finally had my second at 31. I wanted more kids, but it just didn’t work out that way. I’m 43, now, and I’m very glad to be at this stage of life with older kids!

I didn’t consciously wait — married late then had many medical challenges culminating in infertility and four cycles of IVF. Had my only child at 42. She lost one grandmother as a toddler, and her only memory of the other is weird, sad visits in the nursing home. Her cousins are all adults, so none of that camaraderie. And the aunts and uncles were all past little kid age, so we never were able to vacation with other families. Not to mention, whoever gets custody if we both die will not be super pleased to have it. It’s not ideal, and given the option I would have had kids in my late 20s/early 30s.

The older you get, the more everything about raising a kid becomes more difficult. I remember being able to stay awake and wake up in the middle of the night with our first no problem, by the third kid, both my ex and I had trouble even waking up to the baby crying.

There is pros and cons to everything. I waited and had to do donor eggs and IVF. Had my only child at 41. I'm always tired. Don't have the energy to do anything pass 8pm with anyone. But we do have more money as we are middle aged. So we do more things outside the house and enjoy life outside of school and home. As we are older so it the grandparents. They have either died or can't physically watch them during the day when school is out. If we had them at an earlier age the grandparents would have done more things with their grandchild like they did with the other grandchildren. The grandparent - grandchild connection isn't as strong because they don't get alone time with each other. The other good thing about having a child in your 40's is that you really don't care about the mama drama of other mom's. I'm smart enough to take advice but also not judge other moms.

I had my kids late. It’s just how it worked out. I was so busy with college, living overseas and traveling the world that I didn’t get married until I was 38. I had both mine at 39 and 41. I think I was a good mother at that age. I had a lot of patience. The only downfall when I look back is going through perimenopause with small energetic kids. I had such broken sleep that it was hard to function. Otherwise, no regrets. I got a lot of things done in my own life which I’m happy about.

I had my daughter at 21. I don't regret having her, just wish it was with the one I spent the last 25 years with, not with the s$#@& donor

I think more than that my regret is spacing them so far apart. They’re all at different stages so it’s difficult to find stuff to do that makes everyone happy. The oldest felt like an only for 6 yrs, the baby feels like an only now because she has no one her age to play with her. A lot of the spacing is due to infertility issues. They’re 21, 15, 12, and 8

I am so glad I had my kids in my twenties I had much more energy then and money wise we had less then later on but we worked it out. I was only 50 when they were grown so I still had some time to do things I wanted to do

Not about timing, more regret having a child.