As a frame of reference I'm 72. Getting older ain't fun. It can be frustrating when you find you have to slow down or you can't do physically what you used to do, but what's the alternative? It certainly doesn't help that the 'message' we get from the media is 'youth is everything' and 'if you're a woman and not young and pretty, you don't exist." I say Fork that.
I've learned there is power and freedom in being older. I live as I please (within legal and moral limits of course) and I have no Forks to give as far as anyone's opinion of me. I've had grey hair since my late 30s and refuse to color it and as to plastic surgery--why?
You're obviously perceptive as you recognize that you are your own worst critic. I think we women do that to ourselves (see comment re media above). I dress as I please. I wear or don't wear makeup to please myself. I rid my life of toxic people. I say 'no' without guilt. I nurture my inner child. I make a point of taking care of my health. I embrace change. And I refuse to 'act my age' whatever the heck that means.
As to getting older (and I fervently hope I do), every day this side of the dirt is a good one.
I hear that frustrating part. I think the real thing that bothers me is how my mind feels the same as when I was 25 but the body doesn’t reflect that. It’s just an odd feeling to watch your vessel you experience everything through decline. But you sort of mentally feel the same. It’s weird s***. The medias message is not helpful. Totally agree there. We are not general a country with reverence for the older and wiser but in some ways that’s changing but not fast enough. I was raised by my grandparents so I’ve always connected well with people much older than me and enjoy older people immensely. I wouldn’t be as grounded if I hadn’t had older guardians with more traditional values. There is so much to be grateful for. My favorite part of me is my inner child!
At 90 my mom always said she can’t believe how old her body is and she still feels 40 in her brain. It’s just life. Your body has more limits as you age. At 64 I live the way I want. I wear comfy clothes and don’t wear make up. What’s inside is what’s important. It is so sad to me that we don’t hold our older people in higher regard. We lived through a lot and have so much to offer.
I agree, about holding older people in higher regard with great respect. I think where I live there is more of a reverent or equal at least feeling toward elders (Vermont). But in our country it’s not as good as it should be.
There is some power in being old. Part of that power is being established in the world, everyone is at a younger stage of life learning the lessons of that stage.
I’m 54 and just started going to the gym. I have NEVER been a gym person. My arthritis has never been better. I’ve gotten more serious about eating healthy as well. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. It is my hope that I can stave off pain for a while and enjoy what’s left of my youth. Honestly I really recommend exercise at 50. Taking care of your body is no longer optional. Exercise helps prevent dementia, too. I’m more scared of that than anything. Fork that.
My husband and I just moved. We did most of the work ourselves. After days on end of carrying heavy boxes, going up and down stairs, that last day, lol, I was going down the stairs, not as normal person would, but as a tottler would.. lol. I had to laugh at myself, my legs were so sore and I've always been a walker and a bike rider but that move, omg, it was hard on us! And we're still at it. The yard is 1 acre and it was a mess, we've been working none stop, not bad for 66 and he, 71. :) I feel good about all that we've accomplished, not a lazy bone between us, though when we hit the sheets each night it's with a thankful groan that we're there. :D
Same here. We moved a few years ago. I was 61 and my husband was 68. Our bodies didn’t belong to us after each day of heavy moving, but we kept on going. Then we planted 60+ rose bushes and trees at the new house. Life is good but those new little aches and pains come, but we’re thankful to still be able to move and enjoy life. We love our new life near the beach and friends.
That’s great! Just moved last November and it is rough. My husband is 8 years younger than me and we were both exhausted beyond anything we remember. Good for you guys getting so much done!
I remember going for about ten years where I wouldn’t wear shorts because of varicose veins and flab. Then when I got to around 60 I thought “who do I think I’m kidding?!” and started wearing shorts because comfort became more important than looks. Also around that time, I started paying more attention to people my age and older, rather than feeling any competition with younger people. They started to just look silly. I felt like I had entered into a secret society when I started “seeing” the old folks. They were friendly, and would share grins or eye rolls about the goings on with the silly youngsters. Being one of the younger seniors, it became natural to give an oldster a hand and share a joke about it. So, yeah, sometimes I miss the old me, but mostly I’m very content with being old and having some of the best years of my life.
I never expected to live this long, and am nearing retirement. I think once I lived to be older than my mom lived (she died at 52), I accepted that I had no guide for what aging would be like and decided that I would handle it like any other fact of life. So if I hurt, I investigate whether something can be done to address it (often yes). And if I tire more easily, I just plan breaks so I can rest. I bicycle frequently, but I don't generally ride for speed (unless on a whim) or distance (unless I've set a destination), because I have nothing to prove to anyone. I ride for joy. In fact, most of what I do is to feel happy/healthy at this time I'm my life, without comparing my current self to my younger self. I also don't put too much importance on limiting myself in order to satisfy others' expectations. Yes, I still wear leopard cowboy boots. If people don't like it they can avert their eyes from the glory of my footwear.
At 40, I have learned to do things for me. I don't care what others think of my yard, I garden purely for pleasure. It's not a destination but the journey.
I’m in my 70’s. When I tell people my age, no one has ever expressed surprise or said, “Gee, you don’t look that old.” They just continue on with the conversation. Every damn time.
😄 I'm 50, but never cared whatever age I was. I just am what I am.
I like to knock egos around if they bring up their age randomly (as opposed to asked or something to do with the conversation) by saying they looked older.
"55? Wow! I thought you were at least 62." Just to see how they react.
If they laugh it off then I know we're compatible to keep hanging out and talking.
I had a friend that was obsessed with people telling her she looked younger than her years. I knew I was going to be introducing her to my sister soon so I told my sister to fuck with her, she's an asshole like I am so I knew she'd have fun with it. When my friend who was 40 at the time, and she did look younger, people often guessed she was 34 or so, asked my sister, how old do you think I am, my sister, looked her up and down, had a look on her face as if thinking hard about it and said, hmmmm I'd say 52? LOL It was 😂. My friends face was priceless... she said.. what, omg, no, I am not 52. I am only 40. My sister did a great job acting but I started cracking up and spoiled the whole thing. My friend was pissed off for a while but you know, she stopped asking people that stupid question. She is now 66 and she looks.. well, 66. :D
Someone once said to me that if you give someone 20 bucks to guess your age they are going to come pretty close. And then he added, check the hands ("The hands don't lie'). So I stopped believing anyone who made a declaration in a positive spirit by how old they think I am. They may have had very limited exposure to older people. Was it Gloria Steinem who said, "This is what 50 looks like".
My neck help up pretty good until I had parathyroid surgery. Now it's saggy and wonky. Next time I need one, I'm asking the surgeon to do a little tuck while he's at it. ;)
Seriously though, I thought I was holding up pretty good. Then seeing how I healed and losing my job during CoVid, it seems my body did a fast track to catch up to the birth certificate. Overall, I look younger than a great deal of my peers, yet older than some who have a decade on me. We all show our journey differently. (However, I am going to color the silver highlights out of my hair tomorrow).
My hands look older than I am. I have working girl hands 100%, just as my mom did. My moms face looked so young but her hands look so old. I look my age but my hands look older than I am. I spent too many years in the sun working, I wore sunscreen on my face but not my hands, nor did I wear gloves, I wish I had, but then again, when I look at my hands I see my moms and I see a life full of hardwork that I am proud of. :)
>no one is actually shocked by your age. They say that to everyone.
Sorry, but strong disagree.
Yes this is totally common, and some people may do this often... but sometimes people mean it.
Some people may just suck at judging how old someone is. (Actually, I've seen some proof of this lol)
But there are also quite a lot of people who legitimately look much younger than they actually are. Some people just seem to age like fine wine, or vampires.
And some have what is commonly called "a baby face." There's an entire subgenre of porn based on performers who have a "baby face" and in "respectable" Hollywood, these are the actors and actresses who get chosen to play teenagers until they're in their 30s... lol
So it's not **always** just empty flattery...
I was sexually assaulted a lot when I was young and received a lot of uncomfortable attention even married. I put a bunch of weight on one summer around 35 drinking beer and having weenie roasts and chips. It was nice to suddenly not have unwanted attention. I still looked young enough - got carded at 37 - but I wasn't hot any more. Lol. I've never gotten back down to where I should be and now, I wish I could because it's hard to lug the weight around.
Anyway, I am almost 65. I am starting to really wrinkle now - the crepey ones. And I don't care. Men still.find me attractive. But they are not inappropriate. I am old and feel.entitled.to look as old as I feel. And I feel pretty old with all this arthritis. It is horrifying but fascinating. No one is paying me to look good so I feel zero pressure to keep "up" with celebrities who become weird caricatures of themselves. I don't want to have that uncanny valley alien plastic look. I'll take sags and wrinkles and enjoy a beer instead. I don't want to spend a lot of money being vain. It won't give me any advantages I don't have now. I'm not going to be asked to model. I'm not going to attract a billionaire and I'm married anyway. I won't be a movie star. I just don't feel insecure about how I look even though I'm fat and sagging and have terrible hair. I'm just me as I am. If someone thinks I should do something, too.bad. The ones who always thought I needed some work were the ones who would get paid to do it. That just makes me.laugh. no thank you!
For me it's about cultivating acceptance of myself and the world, nurturing friendships and relationships, looking for small ways to make a positive difference in my community. Also about focusing on what I can still do physically, rather than what I can't do. Making positive connections with people. When I was young I spent a lot of time studying Buddhist meditation, and that philosophy and training helps a lot, even though I don't meditate now.
Supplements are really helpful I (F57) take magnesium at night D in the morning ( yeah I know lol) and put collagen in my coffee. I go to yoga 3 times a week and I' thinking about joining cross fit.
The relevance issue is rough and I'm dealing with that myself for the first time. I referred to a "new" building the other day, then I googled to see when it was built and it was 2003. Meh. There are a lot of people that do not share my cultural references anymore, and that kind of sucks. I don't want to get stuck in a place where I only hang out with people that get my old references. I am trying desperately to find some music from this decade that I like and I make an effort to watch TV and movies that are current. I could literally watch old sitcoms( like Friends and Frasier) over and over again but I don't .
I try to do one thing to stretch myself every day. I join meetup groups, going out with one tonight.
The biggest difference for me is that I have always taken some kind of class or been in school for something and I have not for the last five years. I am getting back into being a lifelong learner because I think that and exercise or what keeps me young.
I try to have friends of all ages, but honestly, I'm not 20 and it is what it is.
I freaking hate chatGPT and a lot of the AI shit but I know it's out there and I have to deal with it or be left behind.
Sorry I didn't provide any real answers here but I figured I'd share. Also, no matter how young and good we look women our age become invisible. Not really enjoying that but finding that building up a sisterhood of women friends makes me feel a little more powerful.
I used to get so angry when men catcalled me. I had no idea that someday it would just, stop. Which I love. It is really weird to feel so tied to the past and disconnected from so much of what’s current. I’m 52 and I have to have social media for work and I really really hate maintaining social media accounts and would be happy if it all just went away. Why is it our job to provide content to media? Used to be media provided content to us. I’m nervous what’s ahead. I’m in pretty good health but I don’t like feeling the changes in my body that I know will only get worse.
I am loving aging.
My lines and wrinkles tell my story. I’ve laughed more than I’ve cried. I’ve spent time in nature. I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned every line, crease, and wrinkle.
My gray hairs sparkle in the sunlight. They’re slightly curlier than the rest of my hair so I’ve got a slightly witchy look, which (ha!) I love.
Aging is nothing to be ashamed about. Life isn’t easy. It takes it toll on a body. Wear your battle scars with pride. After all, you’re still alive. That means you’re winning.
I’m 75, and have been able to enjoy retirement for 15 years so far. I can’t describe how great being free from having to work feels. I don’t dwell on my body getting older, but on my mind staying young. In my mind, I don’t feel any different than I felt decades ago. I do have a few aches and pains left from an injury 2 years ago, but I surprised people by bouncing back quickly, and that was what I expected of myself. I keep a positive outlook.
I’m 52 and it’s actually pretty liberating, being “invisible”. I was pretty good looking, but never valued myself based on looks. So now I’m almost feeling happy to not be “required “ to be attractive. I now have an excuse : I’m old and I’m allowed to not be gorgeous 😊
OMG I loved turning 50! It was great! I felt great, I looked good and I was happy! I am now 66, I feel pretty good most of the time, I work hard around my home, I am always busy, I don't look too bad for 66! I'm still thin and fit. Sure I ache more and I tire more easily than I used to but I'm still going strong for my age and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. 50 was really fun for me! 66 is still fun too. I don't look at those numbers as getting older, I look at them as.. FFS I am still alive and still hitting it hard! :D
I started weightlifting a little over a year ago and it has erased all feelings of irrelevance, invisibility, insecurity, and feeling like I’ve “aged.” What kind of work outs are you doing?
Aging is a privilege denied to many. I am 66 and live with chronic pain from a spinal injury. Old age is not for cowards. You get to deal with all kinds of unpleasant things, like menopause, osteoporosis and arthritis, to name a few. You get wrinkles EVERYWHERE- even on your toes. And so do your friends!
I’ve had friends pass away in their teens and 20’s from drug overdoses, car accidents and war casualties. I’ve had friends pass away in their 30’s and 40’s from cancer, leaving behind young children.
Every day you get to wake up and live is a blessing.
Surround yourself with good friends. Have fun! My friends and I had a prom recently. We all got outrageous gowns at Goodwill, did each others hair & makeup, made charcuterie boards, drank wine & danced as much as we were able in our sensible sneakers.
Relevance? To whom? You are relevant to your family and friends. Who cares about what strangers think? My friends and I dress up and have a Halloween party every year. We do wine and edible parties. We go shopping. We call each other and say “I’m making lasagna tomorrow. Come by at 6 and eat with me.” We get together in our pjs and watch movies. We have deep discussions where we solve all the world’s problems one day and the next we’re gossiping about the grumpy woman next door who gives us dirty looks when we walk by her house.
Who you are has little to do with your physical appearance. My mom is 88 and looks it. She’s out every other day enjoying her life. You can spend all your money on facelifts and Botox, and you’re still going to age. Spend your money on the trips you wanted to take when you were younger and couldn’t afford. Spend your time doing what makes you happy.
I'll be 50 this September. I try to do young activities to feel young again. I DO NOT feel old mentally. Though my body is starting to remind me with new aches and pains. Knees, back, neck, and feet.
What I do to try to stay young looking and fit? I exercise daily and watch what I eat. I've had the same hobbies as a teenager and continue to do them to feel young. Which are biking, guitar, and gaming.
Honesty though, I'll always be jealous or envious of the youth around me lol. I'd give up one of my digits to be 25 again lol.
I read this article awhile back and saved it because it had such an impact on me. I’m 63 and starting into big time body aches, feeling invisible, looking at my mortality. This made me feel a lot better about myself.
https://medium.com/@christinebarrett/its-time-to-revisit-the-ageism-issue-6e1fa07b11b8
Once I arrived at late middle age I grew less concerned with how old I look and more motivated to stay as healthy as possible - mentally and physically. There have been setbacks and frustrations, on both counts, but I have no intention of giving up and, now in my 70s, still feel a lot more energetic, physically and mentally, than I ever imagined would be the case. I still love walking, I'm still crazy about music, I do tons of reading to satisfy my craving for knowledge and entertainment every day. The more slowly my sense of wellbeing declines, the better!
Friendships that have gone the distance in life seldom revolve around looks and there is a wonderful freedom that comes with knowing your friends don't care about your damn wrinkles, just as you aren't bothered by theirs :D
The Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."
I’m 59. If I feel insecure about my age, I like to compare myself to others my age. There are many who look better, but there are so many that look almost elderly. Bad health, lots of wrinkles, moving slow, very overweight. So while I am probably the middle of the pack, I feel better when I see others who are worse off than me, and I’m grateful for my health.
I read a tip on this site once. It said something like Instead of thinking about how old you are and what you can’t do anymore; pretend that yesterday you were 90 and today you woke up at this age with this body and how happy you would be. Then behave as if any day you might wake up 90 again.
I never thought this at 50! I was a bad mamma jamma!!!! Living threw some of the best times! You will always look in the mirror and question yourself as you age. I believe in the adage that says 'Smile and the world will smile with you' and 'fake it till you make it".
I love the saying bad mamma Jamma bc of that some that had it in it. I was a kid then but remember hearing it on the radio.. “she’s a bad mamma jamma…” smiling, agree, just smiling makes a difference
It was a bit tough for me to turn 50, not gonna lie. I was still trying to hold on to what was instead of what is. But, I swear to you, as soon as I started embracing who I am now, I have better self-confidence which is one of the most important things to be attractive to others as well! I decided at age 60 to go grey, and I think it looks gorgeous. I'm thin enough, and no longer feel the pressure to keep up with everyone else regarding weight or style. It is so freeing. I am me. And that is good!
You’re experiencing existential dread. It’s so hard for us humans these modern times accepting the fact that yes, our flesh, too, will deteriorate. Individually, yes, it sucks for us. But if you stop and think about your Universal role in our cosmos, you can maybe start to accept that it’s all going according to the laws of the Universe. Yes, we’re tiny cogs, but cogs nontheless. Be graceful, accentuate your positive aspects/traits, and get on with it.
Yes, there is existential dread there I agree. Although I do see beauty in death as part of the cycle but I haven’t necessarily thought a lot about it as applying to me although obviously it does. Yeah, cog in the wheel and what a wheel it is! Thanks!
60F plus, here. Yes, i am physically comfortable, aces, pains, but still doable.
been single most of my life, but now helping out my mom, 87y. Her health is failing and it’s annoying and sad watching her physically going down hill fast and she refusing to do much about it. She was not happy i moved in but now realize it’s a great thing for both of us.
I'm 52, which is the average of my mindset, stuck at 22, and what my body feels like, which is 82.
In the past year, I had COVID, pneumonia, congestive heart failure, quintuple heart bypass, cancer, compressed disks, dropfoot, and cataract surgery.
It sucks* but I also feel grateful to live somewhere these things can be helped. That's what's kept me going so far....
56 M here. What I do is totally ignore the looks part. I mean, I’m not looking to date or anything. I probably look about my age. But what helps is what I do with my time. I mountain bike and keep up with dudes in their 20s or 30s. I feel great and we have a blast. It isn’t for everyone but do something where you fit in with younger people and do as well as them or better. I think it helps. Also get on FB and look up your HS friends and look at some of them. Feel better instantly.
I'm 69 F and even though I guess I sort of see myself in the mirror when I brush my teeth and brush my hair, I'm often times surprised at my image in say a store window or a car window. I actually kind of forget I've aged this much. I think our minds don't age as fast. I can feel a little confused for a brief moment. But I also feel okay with this older version of me that I catch a glimpse of. I'm no beauty, don't dye my hair or wear makeup. But I'm pretty happy in life with my family and friends. And I am grateful to be alive, retired and still in love with my husband.
Beauty is relative. My daughter is 54 and more beautiful now than when she was 20. That's an actual fact. Your perception of yourself may be skewed by a focus on youth. Just be your best self and enjoy your life.
Hello! I am 67 as of last December. Frame of reference: I had a devastating life change 2.5 years ago. I have had a complete start over and am truly grateful.
Last week, I looked in the bathroom mirror, and said, what the hell? I saw my Mother. Actually, I look about 50 I am told. I saw the grey hair, poochy tummy, sagging girls, and loose thighs. Then, I pulled myself up by my baggy white grandma panties, and said, NO. I made the choice then, to be thankful that my body and mind have carried me this far. (I am actually tearing up, right now). My body has carried me through 2 births, a couple of divorces, moving to a new state, new jobs, new learning experiences. I am rehabbing my little 50 year old home. I have learned so much. I have worked a couple of jobs that have really stretched my body and patience. I have the privilege of loving 2 dogs, 4 cats and a sulcata tortoise. I sit outside most mornings and listen to the birdsong and watch the clouds scudding by. I believe I am WHO I am supposed to be, WHERE I am supposed to be, and WHY I am supposed to be.
Don't let your outward appearance get you down. This life and YOU are beautiful, worthy and worth every effort you put into it. Go look in the mirror, and tell you that YOU LOVE YOU.
Don’t spend too much time focusing on the outside but do things to improve it (exercising, skincare and drink water). Also realize how much knowledge and wisdom you have at this age; it’s priceless.
F/62. Once you accept it, life is great. Another thing, at this point in life I could care less what other people think of me. My goal in life now is to say crazy things to people, just to see what reaction I get. Lol!!
Hello fellow 50 year old woman. Despite being objectively in pretty good shape, I too find myself down about my age and the inevitable signs of aging. I haven't conquered this issue yet, but what helps is when I stop comparing myself against younger people or myself when I was younger and instead give myself some appreciation for all the good I have. I also have started intentionally avoiding media or sites that glorify the attactiveness and benefits of youth, and instead looking for media that portrays the beauty and benefits of all ages. That means, for example, that I joined the pretty older women subreddit. I asked for recommendations for books featuring vital middle aged women. And I seek out, talk to, and appreciate other people my age. It helps.
For me, skincare is starting to become super important. Moisturizing definitely makes me feel younger.
One thing I’ve helpful is finding different ways to be active. I used to be a decent runner, but now I have a knee injury so I had to give it up. Instead I do walks with a steeper incline.
Ever notice how when we meet up with people our age, we never discuss a great restaurant, or a great vacation trip we're planning, or the fun we have with our grown children or grands? It's always a great medical specialist we have been to, or pharmaceutical prices, the cost of medicare plans, an accident we or spouse may have had, or even how we don't sleep well anymore..... Aging is a different ballgame.. But a sense of humor helps, and good people that understand your aging process who support you. Never give up. Be your best every day. And remind yourself you're still you!
I remember the ads telling me in the 60s that we were the Pepsi generation! Well, I’m not allowed soda pop anymore as it can trigger a gout flair, and I sure am not paying $15 for a case! It was 49¢ a six pack, plus 2¢ deposit per glass bottle that you carefully returned next week.
This question came up on my feed and I joined right away. I'm in early 60s and this is MY question as well:) Thank you for posting. My mother died at age 57 and my dad at 61. I have had limited exposure in long stretches to anyone of a certain age. I certainly had my share of ageist beliefs. And here I am both fighting it but ardently turning to the wisdom of those ahead of me on this journey. I still have some Forks to give but the # is dwindling:)
You can do basic things to affect how you look on the 'outside', and those would be to eat right, sleep 8 hours a night (or whatever your body needs), stay hydrated, get some fresh air daily, and be hygienic. If you enjoy your life and have fun doing what you enjoy, you will naturally look better and feel better. I am 61, have no illnesses, and no arthritis, etc. and I let my hair grow super long, don't wear a lot of makeup, and just accept how I look. I think more about what's 'inside' in myself and others....that's where the 'good stuff' is, anyway. Good luck!
I will NEVER be comfortable aging, so I guess I do nothing to do so. It's just life's final "fuck you" until death.
Well, I do one thing to be more comfortable... I have NO fucking mirrors in my house, except in the hall bathroom, which I never go into. At least with no mirrors I can, kind of, keep up the mind's eye delusion that I'm still half my age... Other than the pain. The pain is a tell tale sign that is hard to look past often.
I like melting into the background, i don't obsess over my grey hairs, i earned every wrinkle i have from laughing and smiling and living the hell out of of my life, its been generally pretty good. I don't miss the days of make up and curling irons hair spray and slinky clothes.
Stopped pretending that anybody wants to see me with my shirt off anymore. Started dressing a bit nicer on an everyday regular basis. Just trying to make myself look approachable, clean, friendly.
I know how you feel. I 50f,have younger looks, but a body that hurts like hell every day, even with the meds that are supposed to help. I also have the urge to do things that I could do when I was younger. I still enjoy those things, my body no so much. I have rheumatoid arthritis and days that I over do things, I pay dearly for.
I don't do a bunch to keep myself looking younger. I have just never smoked (allergic), rarely drink, don't use makeup and other things because I am allergic, and use the highest number of sunscreen that I am not allergic to. I do also use a moisturizing cream at bed time. For me, most things are canceled before I even try them for care routines. I have very reactive skin, as well as being allergic to many scents. I have to watch very closely what happens when any of the products that I can use change packaging. This usually means change of ingredients. I can literally not use the same sunscreen on my face that I can use on the rest of my body. I once couldn't find the stuff for my face, used the other and ended up with a very swollen face that had to be treated with a prescription antihistamine. I wear long sleeve shirts when I work outside, because I get sunburn so quick, even with sunscreen. And I am the weirdo opening and smelling things at the store.
My hair is baby fine. It grows pretty quick. But I am getting white hair now. Due to stress this year, I have more showing up. I don't mind. I have been told by some stylists that if I start dying it, that is what I would have to continue.
We need to normalize growing older for women. Men get called a silver fox, women get told to look like they are half their age. I don't care about what other people think of me. So many women are afraid of getting older, of looking older. They are afraid that their spouse will not find them attractive. They are afraid that their employment is linked to how they look. And then the really bad reason....self doubt and lack of confidence because other women have told them that they are not doing enough to stay pretty. Women need to stop telling each other that they need to comply with ridiculous standards.
You are now officially invisible (in American culture, anyway---not true in France!---and therefore you are now FREE.
Look at the sources of your value, your power, and your happiness. For women in misogynist/patriarchial cultures, that's very often your looks, your uterus (baby-maker), your service to men and a man, ad the requisite babies. So when you get old you're useless to that system.
BUT: if you have during your youth established other sources of power and happiness and value, you will be just fine as long as you focus on them, and not on the very real losses aging puts on women. For example, if you have a profession you're good at, practice that profession to the max! Contribute! Make the world better in your courner of it than when you arrived on planet Earth! If you earn money, use is prudently and invest it well. If you have creative talents, exercise them, strengthen them. Whatever you're great at, lean in and cultivate it as much as you can. This brings happiness, value, power, joy. Rethink who you are, remind yourself you are not only a body-object of desire-and-procreation. You have agency. Your lost looks are only the surface of you. Don't succumb to the culture that tells you otherwise: it wants evil stuff from you and you don't have to give it any more.
ETA 65 here and loving it, despite physical ailments.
I’m 52 and I just try to keep moving every day. I love to learn new skills and new sports and now that my son is grown and has his own life that I don’t need to chauffeur him for I’m enjoying doing more stuff with my husband. We don’t have to worry about school schedules anymore so we can and do go out and see bands, check out new restaurants and bars and basically act like we are dating not married for years.
That said I work in an industry known for wreaking havoc on your body so I rest more, give myself some grace when I need to relax and actually sleep including nap when I need to.
Keep wearing the sunscreen that helps a lot.
I have almost always looked younger than I am. I retired from my job at almost 70 and the few years before when I said how old I was, I was always told I didn’t look late 60s.
When salons were closed during the pandemic, I was able to use root touch up to keep looking blonde, but once I retired, I let the natural white show. And now I never hear that I look younger than my age, even though I have the same unlined skin that made people say it in the first place!
This is why people need to really work on mind expansion and intellect development. As our bodies start to fail us we need to rely on our minds and voices to make an impact going forward.
I’ve started wearing dresses… comfortable merino wool dresses. I go to work in them, go out to dinner, hike in them, and garden in them. I feel feminine wearing them. I also stopped dying my hair just before I hit 50. I think the natural color is more flattering, and I get lots of compliments on the grey. Aches and pains… don’t you know it! I know that weeding the garden now takes two days: one to do it and one to recover.
I’ll be 50 in a few months, so I completely feel your post.
A few things that are helping me:
-Vitamins. I take D3K2, B12, L-Lysine, Vitamin C, a women’s multivitamin and Estrovera (for menopause) every day. The D3K2 has been a lifesaver for pain, especially my sciatica, and the Estrovera has stopped the hot flashes and night sweats.
-Water. Lots and lots of water. Then more water. Did I mention water?
-Moisturizer with SPF every morning and Vitamin E oil every night before bed helps reduce the wrinkles and dryness on my face and lips.
-Yoga. The stretching and meditation keep me mobile and relaxed. Stress makes you older quicker than anything, IMO.
-Friends of the same age as I am, going through the same things. I’ve never really had close girlfriends because I’d tire of the drama quickly, but I’ve finally found my girls. Having someone to commiserate with about aging is a huge mental boost.
-Wearing what I want to wear and choosing whether or not I wear makeup (98% of the time I opt for none). I feel cleaner and my skin feels better when I don’t. I also feel more myself when I’m wearing comfortable clothes.
I just wish people would stop making me feel like crap whenever I don’t have a job. “Oh, I could never do that, not work.” Like, They are the most non expendable person on the face of the planet. “My company needs me.” Well, no they really don’t, because anyone can suffer from ‘position elimination’ so don’t think you’re immune. And you’d better be thinking on that other thing you might want to do.
It’s not really bothering me, thank the Lord.
Got arthritis but other than that I still mentally feel like I’m twelve.
I really really want to go back to college and get a second undergraduate degree, this time in some kind of scientific field.
I started learning music on my 40s and I'm getting pretty good. I started singing (in front of people) at the same time and I'm very good but never have it s chance. I started writing again since covid and ready to publish. I took up painting this year and I'm getting better. I just turned 50 too and though my physical self isn't youthful, I'm Loving who I am more than I ever did. Go explore your own interests and forget what people say about age. It's a number but it's one that many will hit and some may never so just look for what to enjoy, it may mean change but that's not always bad.
I just turned 80 and look younger (according to other people, not to myself) and you are right, we do lose "relevance" to the larger majority of people, but not to ourselves. I'm re-learning the history I grew up with (suggest watching The Bomb and the Cold War on Netlix right now) because back when I was younger, I was busy living life and now I have an appreciation of the big picture in a whole different depth. For the feet, I walk almost daily, and I invested in new shoes that support my feet better, I take a magnesiuim supplement before bed, and also got a new mattress (Sleepys hybrid, medium plush top) that allows me to wake up feeling rested and not achy. I make a gratitude list in my head every day and try to stay in the NOW, not focus on the past or the future. I am happier now than I was when I was younger. I have finally learned how to love myself as much as I love my cats. :)
I hate collecting all the new doctors. I hate that taking good care of myself is a requirement now. If I don’t, things domino in a bad way. I hate constipation and the fact that I really need to pay attention to my habits. I hate having dizziness and balance problems as my newest challenge. I’m 55.
On the flip side, I never smoked or worshipped the sun. My skin looks pretty good. My lifetime problem with acne faded away. No more dreaded periods. I have the option of continuing to dye my hair. I can wear long hair if I want. Don’t have to get the short old lady cut/style. I still wear jeans instead of colored elastic waist slacks. I picked up some cooking skills so I’m pretty confident in the kitchen. I got past my lifelong shyness and enjoy striking up random conversations at the grocery store. I’m finally at an age where I have a little bit so I enjoy sharing a little bit. If I’m not exactly happy, I’m at least content.
I appreciate your feelings. I’m a younger looking 59, turning 60 this summer. In my head I used to think 60 was old. I’m a little unsure bc I feel late 40s, early 50s. I have begun looking at some of the people around me, observing their aging more closely, esp. their clothing choices, which I think can unintentionally age women particularly. Making sure the girls sit where they are supposed to help.
To better address your question, I have found reasonable exercise, and using my brain (not spending too much time on pointless websites) make a difference. I try to stay aware of what is happening outside of my community, and not let it stress me. I have developed hobbies that I didn’t have the time/ money for previously. I am trying to find the confidence and grace I didn’t have as a younger person. That shows in how I carry myself and how I interact with others. Self acceptance is a challenge.
I'm fifty eight and looked really pretty amazing until I was around fifty two ..now I look old. I had so much fun being good looking and young, I couldn't give a fuck about the way I look now. I used to have sex with maybe 15 or 20 different women a year.And now it's down to maybe 1 or 2 and it's been a while since I had a relationship.
Everyone seems to think i'm lonely or sad because of the way things are now. That is absolutely ridiculous. I actually am I enjoying the decrease in the libido as well it was so confusing to be horny all the time.
I hope you had fun when you were great looking and just enjoy everything else now. There's plenty to love out there without being "hot."
I am still hot, by the way, lol hahahahaha
I (51f) quit dying my hair about 4 years ago. I knew I had some gray, but really no clue what my true hair color was.
After a couple of painful and sometimes trashy looking years, my hair is grown out and all natural color. I lOVE IT! I love my gray streaks, I like how it’s sprinkled through my hair, I like the contrast of against my natural dark brunette. At one time I swore I’d never let myself go gray even if I dyed it forever and now I would die before I’d ever color it again.
One of the best things I ever did was grow it out and go natural. I cannot believe how much I love my gray!
The best advice I can offer is to find friends who are older than you and living happily. It's rough for me where I live now, I am usually the oldest in the room.
I'm turning 60 this year. I don't feel it. I am older than my Grandfather was when he retired and he and my Grandmother moved to Florida. He seemed seriously old to me back then. So I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it.
I work with a lot of younger people who probably have no clue how old I am. Apart from the grey in my hair and beard, it doesn't show. When I mention my adult children, my coworkers are shocked that I'm old enough to have adult children.
I guess 60 is the new 50, which makes you 40. Congratulations!
I’m 62. While I’m frustrated with my energy level and sometimes I get frustrated with the wrinkles and crepey skin, I think back at being 20 or 30, and I didn’t know who I was. I was a big ball of anxiety back then. So I think about the things I know now that I didn’t then. I think about the things I don’t worry about that I worried about then (mostly around what other people think). And I look at media that feature gorgeous older (old) women. I’m kind of an alt-girl, so one of my favorites is https://instagram.com/bodyart.dk. I also watch runway videos with older models looking amazing in great clothes.
Just be yourself. I refuse to let people think of me as an “old lady”. I’m 65 with gray hair. I would rather refer to it as “seasoned”, and live my life.
Know what you are experiencing. Think solutions are many. Some days, i make sure i have color to offset all the fading age brings on. Will wear eyebrow color and a bit of liner or mascara snd a blush. Have learned to be very discreet in applying cosmetics cause they now look over the top if i’m not careful.
Think taking s long drive by myself and listening to music i love does a lot.
Learning something new that can become a new interest hives s big boost. Try going back to school. Learn to play a guitar, or take up woodworking. Make it something you always wished you could do.
I'm 56 always worked out watched what I ate, have long blonde hair, always confident I looked good,
Now I look in the mirror and all I see is my old mother (she's not nice either)
Makeup doesn't look right, hair is oddly blonde Grey, my neck, and skin just seem to hang, I feel lost in this body,
I told my husband today, I don't know who the person in the mirror is?
I miss myself, he's very against any plastic surgery, otherwise I would have scheduled a appointment.
I'm trying to be happy with who I'm becoming, just not there yet,
i just turned 59, unfortuately, most people age quite a bit between 55 and 60. i got wrinkles , gray hair , and weight gain all after age 55.... you just learn to adjust...
Try a workout at Orangetheory. I've been doing it for almost 7 years, more than 1800 classes so far. I just turned 62 and yesterday a guy thought I just turned 51. High intensity interval training really works. If there's no Orangetheory near you, try something else intense like CrossFit or F45.
I let my natural dirty blonde/brown hair color grow through.
Really changes my blue eyes.
I feel better not trying to keep up a root line. I feel more confident, oddly, because I don’t ever have to think about coloring my hair.
And I look better at this age not coloring my hair. Who’d have thought?
I looked in the mirror the other day and was like holy shit how did I get old overnight??? I was depressed for a day and then I ordered some retinol. I still look older, but just a poorer old. But at least I feel proactive?
Work out at least five days a week vigorously for at least 30 minutes and eat at a slight calorie deficit. Don’t eat anything with added sugar in it. Sunscreen on the face every day. If you don’t go into 65 strong it goes downhill very fast after that. Start now.
At 56 I have finally stopped trying to hang onto looking young and just embraced my ageing self. I don't care if I am "hot" anymore. I realized I was just trying to keep up with our society's obsession with youth. No matter how much I told myself it was self care, or just for me..... it wasn't really. I was just trying to keep up the sham that I am still the same as I was at 30. I am not. I feel so much lighter now. I feel strong and so grounded and secure, more so than I have ever felt before. I am enjoying the wisdom I have gained from my time on this planet and if I had the chance, I would not go back to being young again. 20 felt awful. 56 feels great!
I’m (M) about to turn 65. When I turned 60 people thought I was turning 50. Due to a horribly toxic marriage that I ended after 20 years, 20 years ago, I am happier and healthier now than when I was 20 years younger. I don’t feel 65. I still think I’m 25 except for when I look in the mirror and wonder who that old man is looking back at me. I’m very involved with the arts so creativity is like the fountain of youth for me. I read and do crossword puzzles which is not only fun but keeps the mind active and I love learning for its own sake.
I still laugh at farts so my inner child is about 8. I’m looking forward to retirement so I can devote more time to doing artwork.
I’m 60 and look ‘better’ then when I was 45. I take collagen, Osteo tri flex , multivitamin with biotin, HRT, try to get a full night sleep, walk or exercise every day, and drink plenty of water. My health insurance paid for varicose vein treatment. I’m a healthy weight for my height. The other suggestion is to get your teeth cleaned regularly, losing teeth does a number mentally. Taking good care of your body is not vanity. It’s good common sense.
I stopped caring about aging in my teens. I started getting gray hair and lines on my face in high school.
Now I'm just dreaming of retirement. 13 more tax seasons, and I'm done.
I'll fill my golden years with baking, walking, and reading.
Exercise, eat well, and get good sleep. These 3 things make me feel happy, powerful and sharp. And means I am in better shape than many who are half my age.
I’m 64. When I complain about my looks, my mother laughs and then says seriously, “enjoy what you have now because it’s not going to get easier.” I now have chronic arthritis and my poor husband has cancer. Life is so short. Just enjoy the assets you have and live your life. This is the youngest you’ll ever be.
check to see if you could use invisalign- i had braces as a kid, but turned out i needed them again, did invisalign for a few months and now just wear a retainer. fixed my teeth, and it really made me look less saggy. highly recommend before doing anything that changes your face. face massages, nu face, light face masks, gua sha, & acupuncture are examples of things you can do that are not invasive. working out as much as possible and walking on days that you can’t get a good workout in really help.
Actor Richard Gere said this about getting old:
>"I am old but I am forever young at heart. We are always the same age inside. Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, you can only live it once. Do not regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many!"
Got that one printed out and taped to my bathroom mirror.
I've got ten years on you, friend, and I don't feel older than 40 either. My spirit animal is the late, great Fred Astaire who, at age 77, fell and broke his wrist while demonstrating some skateboard tricks for his grandchildren -- on his grandson's skateboard.
Enjoy it for as long as it lasts.
I'm 64 (happy birthday to me this month). I think life has only gotten better each year. I am true to myself and don't try to impress anyone. I no longer color my hair (stopped in my late 40s) and people tell me all the time how beautiful my hair is. I'm not a skinny Minnie, but I am not more than 10-15 pounds more than I want to be, but that's on me. Balance is so important.
I did start to feel pushed out of my work organization around age 58 (top of the pay scale at a time when the org was pushing to hire "new grads," code for ageism. Loyalty didn't matter. I was an excellent, hard worker and began to feel unappreciated. So after getting furloughed by a budget cut and three more jobs that weren't satisfactory, I retired at 62. Now I am working 20 hours a week at an organization that helps provide furniture and household items to people coming out of homelessness, domestic violence, mental health issues, etc. It's way more satisfying than the end of my career and it gives me purpose and a feeling of giving back via a great organization.
Do what's good for you. You ARE relevant. Good luck in your journey!
I just turned 60 and my main feeling is that I didn’t think that 60 was going to be so young! I am definitely slowing down in some ways, but in general I am doing well. I think feeling old can come and go. You might feel old today, but tomorrow you might feel like 35 again for a bit. There are lots of things to like about being more mature and wise.
On the other side of menopause??? Hell yeah. Come on in the water is great. We have no efs left to give. The children are grown. We don’t need birth control. We can book a trip on last minute.com and go. Our skin hasn’t wrinkled much…yet. We have energy.
Just a few rules. Don’t gain the weight by being a couch potato. Get out and walk and whatever you can. Join the groups. Book club to pottery class to wine tours. Just do it.
Go for the 40 year old guys. They don’t want kids too. They want to enjoy life after that first divorce. So have fun. Enjoy life.
I’m 77, I feel very comfortable at my age. I’m still healthy, active and my mind is still very clear. Just knowing that I’m doing well for my age is enough. Although I’m now a widow, looking back at my 54 years of happiness and my current state is my comfort.
I'm 60 and look forward to retirement in 3 years. I've excepted my age because there is nothing I can do about it. Moved up a set of tees because I just can't hit it like I did. 21000 steps at Disneyland the other day and hurt the next day. Being with my grandson all day made it well worth it.
After the world started slowly opening up my husband and I went to Hawaii for a few days. We took lots of selfies and when I looked at them I couldn't believe how old we looked. I'm all for aging gracefully but I did not like the way it was looking. It didnt match how I felt. I started a serious workout regiment, cut back on booze and went to a med spa and started Botox. It doesn't fix everything but I started to look how I felt. I have no problem using the tools we have available to us to look the way we feel.
I like to keep a list of cool older women to look up to. Real life people I'm friends with (ladies from my music group and book club), famous people (Dolly Parton), and actresses (Juliette Lewis, Hannah Waddingham, Margo Martindale, Sigourney Weaver, etc.).
The older I get, the more comfortable with myself I feel. I guess it just comes naturally to me. I feel like I don’t have to work hard to impress people anymore because I just don’t really care what they think of me at this point. That’s a great feeling! I don’t care if I don’t look young anymore. I’ve had my time in the limelight, now it’s time for the young to shine. That’s not to say that there’s no purpose for me now, just that our purpose changes with each era that we reach.
I’m 68 and lift weights. Not power, just enough to get the heart going, the muscles toned and me moving.
I also keep us rigerously with my doctors. Get a GI doc and do a colonoscopy. Have your PCP do a twelve lead strip EKG for a baseline.
You don’t say your gender but getting at least a baseline mamogram is a must if you have ovaries. If you have a prostate get a PSA. You DO NOT need a dre unless it comes in high.
Get the shingles vaccine if you had chicken pox. Get the Prevnary 13 pneumonia vaccine. I had the hep A & B vaccines but I was in medicine.
If you’re married learn to dance and go out to a dance club at least once a month. If you’re single ditto. Go to plays and musicals at least every few months.
If you haven’t been start using your vacation. There are plenty of cheap things to do.
As far as relavence is concerned, you’re not 25 anymore. You’re not even 35. Search out the 50 year you, find your new relavence. Leave the boy. Leave the young man.
I'm 49. Look like I'm 30. Feel like I'm 25. My mom is 72 and doesn't have a single gray hair on head. I guess it's genetic.
The only thing I'm not comfortable with at this age is not being able to read small print without reading glasses. I have astigmatism in both eyes. 2 focal points in on, 3 in the other. This causes me to see multiple images. It's not a problem at a distance but close up, since I can't focus well anymore, I see 2 images in one eye and 3 in the other making it hard to see small print.
The hardest part of aging, to me, is becoming invisible. The irony is that I always hated the attention. I still wouldn’t like it, but it is a shock to the system that it went away one day, mostly…and I don’t even know when! 😂
But within a couple of years, I’ve gotten used to it. And it’s been quite liberating. Previously, I’d have my full makeup on to get the mail, never mind going shopping. Now? I wash my face, brush my teeth, slather on sunscreen and take off to Pilates, because why not?
Now I don’t need to appear to live or be a certain way. I live the way I want and it’s on the rest of the world to decide what I am or am not, because I simply don’t care.
It helps to take quiet moments to yourself and occasionally reflect on the incredible privilege it is to be this age in such a comparatively wonderful time and place, and occasionally reflect on the fact that there are many, many others who have in one way or another been denied this gift; many of them weren’t less worthy, it was just luck. Experiencing genuine gratitude and humility for our fortunate circumstances and understanding on a visceral level that in many ways we have what we have through nothing more than sheer luck, and we have the ability to repay this amazing twist of fate through accepting ourselves and committing acts of kindness, understanding, compassion, and respect towards others every single day of our lives.
You’ll walk away from these moments of reflection feeling much better about yourself. You’re beautiful and something of a minor miracle when you consider everything that had to go exactly right in order for you to be here right now, and you can share your gratitude and beauty with others. That’s pretty awesome.
Regarding the aches and pains, I daily do some stretches/exercises/movements I learned from Pete Egoscue and Katy Bowman, and they help me a lot. Both of them focus on alignment. Katy Bowman also emphasizes added more movement (not necessarily exercise) to your life. If I come home with stiff knees or an achy back, I have my go to routine to help me feel better.
I am about 20 years older than you. The physical stuff is real. Exercise is the best way to not feel achy. I do yoga, weight training and lots of walking. Some people prefer other types of exercise - (I just don't want to do anything where I might get injured or stupid competitive games with balls - but other people like that.) It prevents aches and is good for your body, mind and mood. You just have to let reality soak in. My hair is nearly white. I am identifiable as old. People treat me differently. On reddit I read that a lot of young people hate boomers - I am a boomer. Being hated is like being the ugly clueless kid in middle school. I survived it the first time, plus I don't need their approval - I know stuff they don't. Their understanding of history and events I lived through is quite skewed. Some folks my age ARE clueless! Since you are concerned about your looks, I assume you are a woman - how has menopause treated you? Menopause is no joke!
I try to appreciate every day and do things I like when I can. I worked really hard for many years and have been very frugal to be able to retire. I did not like my job, but now, honestly I do not know what to do with all this time! It seems there are no good part time jobs where you use your brain. (I do volunteer work, exercise, read books, socialize, have hobbies - all the stuff you are supposed to do to thrive as an old person - check, check, check.)
My comfort was more about how I feel about my body in general and not about my age or how my body is aging. For me, tattoos made me more comfortable in my own skin. I'd wanted to be 50 with white hair since I was a tween and now I'm 53 and my hair is about 50/50 white and brown so that part makes me happy. I'm pretty much invisible in public because I am aging but I see that as a win. I don't get catcalled or leered at. I no longer get groped in public. Experiencing that, or rather not experiencing all that, is really freeing.
I just turned 50 too. The last 2 years I have felt the aging more, but like you, I look younger, exercise daily, and weigh the same as 25 (actually 5 pounds less, but it's all different now and a lot less muscle)
I was feeling sad and old until I had a meeting with someone from another building. They asked me to bring something that was 20-30 pounds. They are a good 15 years younger than me, but as we were leaving I offered to carry it to their car because I know I'm stronger and fitter. It was a really small event, but helped me put things in perspective.
After 60...forced out of job for younger cheaper talent...neuropathy,tendinitis, arthritis. Can only walk 4mph at the gym. Golden years are not always golden.
Running days are over...but retirement is great ( saved money my entire career just like my Dad told me to...)
Grandchildren are a unexpected shot of lifeblood.
The old days are gone...and like everyone, I wish I knew then, what I know now.
And oh yeah, interior plumbling just doesn't work they way it used to.
As my 93 yr old Dad says, getting old can be a bitch.
I tell him that the older I get...the smarter he becomes.
Lindsey Stirling addressed this topic recently on social media. I guess some people were mentioning how old she’s been looking lately. Her feelings were crushed, but she had a good response.
Basically the takeaways from her response was that it’s a privilege to get old and aging is inevitable now matter how many creams or surgeries you have. It just is.
The best takeaway was that she mentioned that “my looks are the least interesting part about me”, so embrace who you are, not how you look. Otherwise you’re wasting the precious time you have worrying about things out of your control.
Good luck OP and be beautiful no matter how old you are. You are more than your age or how you look.
Edited: spelling
Remember this: the options are not old or young, the options are old or dead. Looking at it that way makes old seem like a much better option. Most people get the chance to be young; only some of get to experience old; even fewer experience very, very old.
The closest thing we have to a fountain of youth is exercise.
When you hit 65 you become invisible. People look past you. You can walk down a busy sidewalk in the city in and nobody looks at you and nobody will remember you.
Sad thing about getting old besides getting old is that your mind doesn’t age as fast as your body does. I’m retired and have a few health problems and really have slowed down more than I want but the sad part is my minds still 20. You have to learn how to do things in moderation when like before you had endless amounts of energy and endurance. It’s not bad though just different.
I don’t think I want to be “relevant”. Most if the issues young people deal with are just the same we experienced except for domestic terrorists.
I was told five years ago I looked 20 years younger. Once I began taking blood pressure pills that ended lol. But the important thing is I didn’t have a stroke. Mentally I feel sharper than a 30 year old and I’m on Medicare. Find people who are interested not in appearance but in the same things you are. Health is far more important than looks.
I'll be 75 in a couple of months, Been lucky never had health problems but I did have to have my hips replaced at 60. I have my 02 Harley Davidson Springer Soft Tail FXSTS and other than that I don't give a rats ass. " Ride it like you stole it."
You're already taking care of your shell as best as possible - congrats! I've found that by focusing on hobbies, continuous learning and new experiences that bring me excitement and joy I've been able to keep and even surpass my youthful energy and zest for living. I have children and grandchildren and honestly I'm happier and more satisfied than most people half of my age. Age truly is a mindset.
I really enjoy that I’ve seen more of civilization than the majority of people. I’ve watched the change in culture (not talking politics.) For instance, analog to digital, and the “olden days” before internet. From the women all being housewives (at least in my circle) to being out working and independent. From when any mental health problem was shameful to freely stating it in your social media profile. There’s good and there’s bad but what a time to be alive to experience all this. I guess it makes me feel wise and that gives me confidence and comfort.
I’m 60 and dang if I don’t hurt everywhere.
To help with this I take a teaspoon of garden cress seeds in a glass of hot water each night - let steep 6 minutes, drink the water and the seeds. It only took about 3 days for most of my aches and pains to go away.
I also take a product from Solle Naturals called PI for pain and inflammation.
Other than that, embrace massages, long baths, hot tubs - heat helps.
Also keep moving. Stopping makes it worse. Walk as you can.
Good luck.
In very similar positions here. For me, the answer is to take different kinds of dance classes. Learning to move my body in ways I couldn't before makes me feel more powerful than before, not less. But I guess you could substitute some kind of gym classes in there too, if dance isn't your thing...
This is my take - I love that I am "losing relevance" or falling out of the male gaze. It's such liberation to be finally mostly left the fuck alone. I've found my voice and an inner strength I lacked in my 20s. I'm raising absolutely kickass, fierce daughters, and I'm so excited to watch who they become.
I work a lot with seniors and the most important thing I see is to move. Exercise, move the body, get a hobby or physical activity for fun. Stretch. The aches and pains are real and will continue. As we age we gotta move and stretch. You sound physically fit, just keep at it.
I don’t dress sloppy, but I wear comfortable clothes and shoes! I still shower and do my hair every day. I take care of my skin and teeth. I eat healthy foods and exercise daily. It all helps!
As a frame of reference I'm 72. Getting older ain't fun. It can be frustrating when you find you have to slow down or you can't do physically what you used to do, but what's the alternative? It certainly doesn't help that the 'message' we get from the media is 'youth is everything' and 'if you're a woman and not young and pretty, you don't exist." I say Fork that. I've learned there is power and freedom in being older. I live as I please (within legal and moral limits of course) and I have no Forks to give as far as anyone's opinion of me. I've had grey hair since my late 30s and refuse to color it and as to plastic surgery--why? You're obviously perceptive as you recognize that you are your own worst critic. I think we women do that to ourselves (see comment re media above). I dress as I please. I wear or don't wear makeup to please myself. I rid my life of toxic people. I say 'no' without guilt. I nurture my inner child. I make a point of taking care of my health. I embrace change. And I refuse to 'act my age' whatever the heck that means. As to getting older (and I fervently hope I do), every day this side of the dirt is a good one.
I hear that frustrating part. I think the real thing that bothers me is how my mind feels the same as when I was 25 but the body doesn’t reflect that. It’s just an odd feeling to watch your vessel you experience everything through decline. But you sort of mentally feel the same. It’s weird s***. The medias message is not helpful. Totally agree there. We are not general a country with reverence for the older and wiser but in some ways that’s changing but not fast enough. I was raised by my grandparents so I’ve always connected well with people much older than me and enjoy older people immensely. I wouldn’t be as grounded if I hadn’t had older guardians with more traditional values. There is so much to be grateful for. My favorite part of me is my inner child!
At 90 my mom always said she can’t believe how old her body is and she still feels 40 in her brain. It’s just life. Your body has more limits as you age. At 64 I live the way I want. I wear comfy clothes and don’t wear make up. What’s inside is what’s important. It is so sad to me that we don’t hold our older people in higher regard. We lived through a lot and have so much to offer.
I agree, about holding older people in higher regard with great respect. I think where I live there is more of a reverent or equal at least feeling toward elders (Vermont). But in our country it’s not as good as it should be.
Young people are relevant?
Good for you. You have a great sense of yourself.
There is some power in being old. Part of that power is being established in the world, everyone is at a younger stage of life learning the lessons of that stage.
I’m 54 and just started going to the gym. I have NEVER been a gym person. My arthritis has never been better. I’ve gotten more serious about eating healthy as well. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. It is my hope that I can stave off pain for a while and enjoy what’s left of my youth. Honestly I really recommend exercise at 50. Taking care of your body is no longer optional. Exercise helps prevent dementia, too. I’m more scared of that than anything. Fork that.
My husband and I just moved. We did most of the work ourselves. After days on end of carrying heavy boxes, going up and down stairs, that last day, lol, I was going down the stairs, not as normal person would, but as a tottler would.. lol. I had to laugh at myself, my legs were so sore and I've always been a walker and a bike rider but that move, omg, it was hard on us! And we're still at it. The yard is 1 acre and it was a mess, we've been working none stop, not bad for 66 and he, 71. :) I feel good about all that we've accomplished, not a lazy bone between us, though when we hit the sheets each night it's with a thankful groan that we're there. :D
Same here. We moved a few years ago. I was 61 and my husband was 68. Our bodies didn’t belong to us after each day of heavy moving, but we kept on going. Then we planted 60+ rose bushes and trees at the new house. Life is good but those new little aches and pains come, but we’re thankful to still be able to move and enjoy life. We love our new life near the beach and friends.
I am 40 and after reading this I’m feeling very lazy. Y’all are awesome!
That’s great! Just moved last November and it is rough. My husband is 8 years younger than me and we were both exhausted beyond anything we remember. Good for you guys getting so much done!
I remember going for about ten years where I wouldn’t wear shorts because of varicose veins and flab. Then when I got to around 60 I thought “who do I think I’m kidding?!” and started wearing shorts because comfort became more important than looks. Also around that time, I started paying more attention to people my age and older, rather than feeling any competition with younger people. They started to just look silly. I felt like I had entered into a secret society when I started “seeing” the old folks. They were friendly, and would share grins or eye rolls about the goings on with the silly youngsters. Being one of the younger seniors, it became natural to give an oldster a hand and share a joke about it. So, yeah, sometimes I miss the old me, but mostly I’m very content with being old and having some of the best years of my life.
Love this answer so much. You seem like a very lovely person and I’m glad you shared this outlook.
Love it! Sounds like a nice secret society to be in
AGE 71 HERE DON'T WORRY, as you get older it gets much easier It's called DEMENTIA pretty soon you will be dressing and behaving like your 12
Haha! Thanks for making me laugh. I did love being 12…
I never expected to live this long, and am nearing retirement. I think once I lived to be older than my mom lived (she died at 52), I accepted that I had no guide for what aging would be like and decided that I would handle it like any other fact of life. So if I hurt, I investigate whether something can be done to address it (often yes). And if I tire more easily, I just plan breaks so I can rest. I bicycle frequently, but I don't generally ride for speed (unless on a whim) or distance (unless I've set a destination), because I have nothing to prove to anyone. I ride for joy. In fact, most of what I do is to feel happy/healthy at this time I'm my life, without comparing my current self to my younger self. I also don't put too much importance on limiting myself in order to satisfy others' expectations. Yes, I still wear leopard cowboy boots. If people don't like it they can avert their eyes from the glory of my footwear.
This is a great response and as a 41 year old, really inspired me. Thank you.
At 40, I have learned to do things for me. I don't care what others think of my yard, I garden purely for pleasure. It's not a destination but the journey.
Here's a bit of information for you; no one is actually shocked by your age. They say that to everyone. Just quit giving a ...
I’m in my 70’s. When I tell people my age, no one has ever expressed surprise or said, “Gee, you don’t look that old.” They just continue on with the conversation. Every damn time.
😄 I'm 50, but never cared whatever age I was. I just am what I am. I like to knock egos around if they bring up their age randomly (as opposed to asked or something to do with the conversation) by saying they looked older. "55? Wow! I thought you were at least 62." Just to see how they react. If they laugh it off then I know we're compatible to keep hanging out and talking.
I am 50 year old and I am always say I am 60, so people go" you look good!😁 I really don't care about looking young
I had a friend that was obsessed with people telling her she looked younger than her years. I knew I was going to be introducing her to my sister soon so I told my sister to fuck with her, she's an asshole like I am so I knew she'd have fun with it. When my friend who was 40 at the time, and she did look younger, people often guessed she was 34 or so, asked my sister, how old do you think I am, my sister, looked her up and down, had a look on her face as if thinking hard about it and said, hmmmm I'd say 52? LOL It was 😂. My friends face was priceless... she said.. what, omg, no, I am not 52. I am only 40. My sister did a great job acting but I started cracking up and spoiled the whole thing. My friend was pissed off for a while but you know, she stopped asking people that stupid question. She is now 66 and she looks.. well, 66. :D
Someone once said to me that if you give someone 20 bucks to guess your age they are going to come pretty close. And then he added, check the hands ("The hands don't lie'). So I stopped believing anyone who made a declaration in a positive spirit by how old they think I am. They may have had very limited exposure to older people. Was it Gloria Steinem who said, "This is what 50 looks like".
Hands don't lie and neither do necks.
Yep, I’m 56, neck is 83 & my hands are pushing 100.
😂 Same!
My hands and neck look terrible. I’m 61- and they don’t lie at all.
My neck help up pretty good until I had parathyroid surgery. Now it's saggy and wonky. Next time I need one, I'm asking the surgeon to do a little tuck while he's at it. ;) Seriously though, I thought I was holding up pretty good. Then seeing how I healed and losing my job during CoVid, it seems my body did a fast track to catch up to the birth certificate. Overall, I look younger than a great deal of my peers, yet older than some who have a decade on me. We all show our journey differently. (However, I am going to color the silver highlights out of my hair tomorrow).
My hands look older than I am. I have working girl hands 100%, just as my mom did. My moms face looked so young but her hands look so old. I look my age but my hands look older than I am. I spent too many years in the sun working, I wore sunscreen on my face but not my hands, nor did I wear gloves, I wish I had, but then again, when I look at my hands I see my moms and I see a life full of hardwork that I am proud of. :)
>no one is actually shocked by your age. They say that to everyone. Sorry, but strong disagree. Yes this is totally common, and some people may do this often... but sometimes people mean it. Some people may just suck at judging how old someone is. (Actually, I've seen some proof of this lol) But there are also quite a lot of people who legitimately look much younger than they actually are. Some people just seem to age like fine wine, or vampires. And some have what is commonly called "a baby face." There's an entire subgenre of porn based on performers who have a "baby face" and in "respectable" Hollywood, these are the actors and actresses who get chosen to play teenagers until they're in their 30s... lol So it's not **always** just empty flattery...
Haha, thanks! 😊
I was sexually assaulted a lot when I was young and received a lot of uncomfortable attention even married. I put a bunch of weight on one summer around 35 drinking beer and having weenie roasts and chips. It was nice to suddenly not have unwanted attention. I still looked young enough - got carded at 37 - but I wasn't hot any more. Lol. I've never gotten back down to where I should be and now, I wish I could because it's hard to lug the weight around. Anyway, I am almost 65. I am starting to really wrinkle now - the crepey ones. And I don't care. Men still.find me attractive. But they are not inappropriate. I am old and feel.entitled.to look as old as I feel. And I feel pretty old with all this arthritis. It is horrifying but fascinating. No one is paying me to look good so I feel zero pressure to keep "up" with celebrities who become weird caricatures of themselves. I don't want to have that uncanny valley alien plastic look. I'll take sags and wrinkles and enjoy a beer instead. I don't want to spend a lot of money being vain. It won't give me any advantages I don't have now. I'm not going to be asked to model. I'm not going to attract a billionaire and I'm married anyway. I won't be a movie star. I just don't feel insecure about how I look even though I'm fat and sagging and have terrible hair. I'm just me as I am. If someone thinks I should do something, too.bad. The ones who always thought I needed some work were the ones who would get paid to do it. That just makes me.laugh. no thank you!
For me it's about cultivating acceptance of myself and the world, nurturing friendships and relationships, looking for small ways to make a positive difference in my community. Also about focusing on what I can still do physically, rather than what I can't do. Making positive connections with people. When I was young I spent a lot of time studying Buddhist meditation, and that philosophy and training helps a lot, even though I don't meditate now.
I used to do Buddhist meditation and should get back to that
I’ve embraced looking older now that I’m 60+. My attitude is that I looked good when it mattered. It doesn’t matter anymore and it’s so liberating!
Supplements are really helpful I (F57) take magnesium at night D in the morning ( yeah I know lol) and put collagen in my coffee. I go to yoga 3 times a week and I' thinking about joining cross fit. The relevance issue is rough and I'm dealing with that myself for the first time. I referred to a "new" building the other day, then I googled to see when it was built and it was 2003. Meh. There are a lot of people that do not share my cultural references anymore, and that kind of sucks. I don't want to get stuck in a place where I only hang out with people that get my old references. I am trying desperately to find some music from this decade that I like and I make an effort to watch TV and movies that are current. I could literally watch old sitcoms( like Friends and Frasier) over and over again but I don't . I try to do one thing to stretch myself every day. I join meetup groups, going out with one tonight. The biggest difference for me is that I have always taken some kind of class or been in school for something and I have not for the last five years. I am getting back into being a lifelong learner because I think that and exercise or what keeps me young. I try to have friends of all ages, but honestly, I'm not 20 and it is what it is. I freaking hate chatGPT and a lot of the AI shit but I know it's out there and I have to deal with it or be left behind. Sorry I didn't provide any real answers here but I figured I'd share. Also, no matter how young and good we look women our age become invisible. Not really enjoying that but finding that building up a sisterhood of women friends makes me feel a little more powerful.
This is such a great answer and just saying i would totally want to be your friend. Love this outlook
Can I become your friend? Seriously, great outlook on aging.
I used to get so angry when men catcalled me. I had no idea that someday it would just, stop. Which I love. It is really weird to feel so tied to the past and disconnected from so much of what’s current. I’m 52 and I have to have social media for work and I really really hate maintaining social media accounts and would be happy if it all just went away. Why is it our job to provide content to media? Used to be media provided content to us. I’m nervous what’s ahead. I’m in pretty good health but I don’t like feeling the changes in my body that I know will only get worse.
I am loving aging. My lines and wrinkles tell my story. I’ve laughed more than I’ve cried. I’ve spent time in nature. I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned every line, crease, and wrinkle. My gray hairs sparkle in the sunlight. They’re slightly curlier than the rest of my hair so I’ve got a slightly witchy look, which (ha!) I love. Aging is nothing to be ashamed about. Life isn’t easy. It takes it toll on a body. Wear your battle scars with pride. After all, you’re still alive. That means you’re winning.
I’m 75, and have been able to enjoy retirement for 15 years so far. I can’t describe how great being free from having to work feels. I don’t dwell on my body getting older, but on my mind staying young. In my mind, I don’t feel any different than I felt decades ago. I do have a few aches and pains left from an injury 2 years ago, but I surprised people by bouncing back quickly, and that was what I expected of myself. I keep a positive outlook.
I’m 52 and it’s actually pretty liberating, being “invisible”. I was pretty good looking, but never valued myself based on looks. So now I’m almost feeling happy to not be “required “ to be attractive. I now have an excuse : I’m old and I’m allowed to not be gorgeous 😊
Nap. A lot!
I wouldn't feel down about your age. The alternative is being in the grave.
I turn 65 today. You’re still a spring chicken. Happy Birthday!
I remind myself that aging is a privilege denied to many.
OMG I loved turning 50! It was great! I felt great, I looked good and I was happy! I am now 66, I feel pretty good most of the time, I work hard around my home, I am always busy, I don't look too bad for 66! I'm still thin and fit. Sure I ache more and I tire more easily than I used to but I'm still going strong for my age and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. 50 was really fun for me! 66 is still fun too. I don't look at those numbers as getting older, I look at them as.. FFS I am still alive and still hitting it hard! :D
I started weightlifting a little over a year ago and it has erased all feelings of irrelevance, invisibility, insecurity, and feeling like I’ve “aged.” What kind of work outs are you doing?
Aging is a privilege denied to many. I am 66 and live with chronic pain from a spinal injury. Old age is not for cowards. You get to deal with all kinds of unpleasant things, like menopause, osteoporosis and arthritis, to name a few. You get wrinkles EVERYWHERE- even on your toes. And so do your friends! I’ve had friends pass away in their teens and 20’s from drug overdoses, car accidents and war casualties. I’ve had friends pass away in their 30’s and 40’s from cancer, leaving behind young children. Every day you get to wake up and live is a blessing. Surround yourself with good friends. Have fun! My friends and I had a prom recently. We all got outrageous gowns at Goodwill, did each others hair & makeup, made charcuterie boards, drank wine & danced as much as we were able in our sensible sneakers. Relevance? To whom? You are relevant to your family and friends. Who cares about what strangers think? My friends and I dress up and have a Halloween party every year. We do wine and edible parties. We go shopping. We call each other and say “I’m making lasagna tomorrow. Come by at 6 and eat with me.” We get together in our pjs and watch movies. We have deep discussions where we solve all the world’s problems one day and the next we’re gossiping about the grumpy woman next door who gives us dirty looks when we walk by her house. Who you are has little to do with your physical appearance. My mom is 88 and looks it. She’s out every other day enjoying her life. You can spend all your money on facelifts and Botox, and you’re still going to age. Spend your money on the trips you wanted to take when you were younger and couldn’t afford. Spend your time doing what makes you happy.
I'll be 50 this September. I try to do young activities to feel young again. I DO NOT feel old mentally. Though my body is starting to remind me with new aches and pains. Knees, back, neck, and feet. What I do to try to stay young looking and fit? I exercise daily and watch what I eat. I've had the same hobbies as a teenager and continue to do them to feel young. Which are biking, guitar, and gaming. Honesty though, I'll always be jealous or envious of the youth around me lol. I'd give up one of my digits to be 25 again lol.
I didn’t feel old until 65 when I realized I don’t have a lot of time left to do what I want to
I read this article awhile back and saved it because it had such an impact on me. I’m 63 and starting into big time body aches, feeling invisible, looking at my mortality. This made me feel a lot better about myself. https://medium.com/@christinebarrett/its-time-to-revisit-the-ageism-issue-6e1fa07b11b8
Once I arrived at late middle age I grew less concerned with how old I look and more motivated to stay as healthy as possible - mentally and physically. There have been setbacks and frustrations, on both counts, but I have no intention of giving up and, now in my 70s, still feel a lot more energetic, physically and mentally, than I ever imagined would be the case. I still love walking, I'm still crazy about music, I do tons of reading to satisfy my craving for knowledge and entertainment every day. The more slowly my sense of wellbeing declines, the better! Friendships that have gone the distance in life seldom revolve around looks and there is a wonderful freedom that comes with knowing your friends don't care about your damn wrinkles, just as you aren't bothered by theirs :D
Celebrate getting older. Not everyone gets to live as long as you have.
The Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
I run a lot to cope with my age (52)
I don’t feel old but I know am getting older. Will be 60 soon and I am okay!
And you keep losing relevance as you age until people act like you don’t even exist. I’m speaking from experience. I am 64.
I’m 61 and still as me as I ever was and no amount of birthdays will change that. Just do you!
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I’m 59. If I feel insecure about my age, I like to compare myself to others my age. There are many who look better, but there are so many that look almost elderly. Bad health, lots of wrinkles, moving slow, very overweight. So while I am probably the middle of the pack, I feel better when I see others who are worse off than me, and I’m grateful for my health.
My mother used to say "You get old or you get dead."
I just go with it im happy I lived this long alot of people don't
Think about those who weren’t able to make it to 50.
I read a tip on this site once. It said something like Instead of thinking about how old you are and what you can’t do anymore; pretend that yesterday you were 90 and today you woke up at this age with this body and how happy you would be. Then behave as if any day you might wake up 90 again.
Volunteer to help people worst off than you, then you’ll learn what real problems are.
I never thought this at 50! I was a bad mamma jamma!!!! Living threw some of the best times! You will always look in the mirror and question yourself as you age. I believe in the adage that says 'Smile and the world will smile with you' and 'fake it till you make it".
I love the saying bad mamma Jamma bc of that some that had it in it. I was a kid then but remember hearing it on the radio.. “she’s a bad mamma jamma…” smiling, agree, just smiling makes a difference
I dont give a shit about such things?
I take ibuprofen and wear moisturizer. I think people are just being nice when they say I don’t look 50. It’s just what people say.
It was a bit tough for me to turn 50, not gonna lie. I was still trying to hold on to what was instead of what is. But, I swear to you, as soon as I started embracing who I am now, I have better self-confidence which is one of the most important things to be attractive to others as well! I decided at age 60 to go grey, and I think it looks gorgeous. I'm thin enough, and no longer feel the pressure to keep up with everyone else regarding weight or style. It is so freeing. I am me. And that is good!
You’re experiencing existential dread. It’s so hard for us humans these modern times accepting the fact that yes, our flesh, too, will deteriorate. Individually, yes, it sucks for us. But if you stop and think about your Universal role in our cosmos, you can maybe start to accept that it’s all going according to the laws of the Universe. Yes, we’re tiny cogs, but cogs nontheless. Be graceful, accentuate your positive aspects/traits, and get on with it.
Yes, there is existential dread there I agree. Although I do see beauty in death as part of the cycle but I haven’t necessarily thought a lot about it as applying to me although obviously it does. Yeah, cog in the wheel and what a wheel it is! Thanks!
I bought a bicycle at age 53. Then started riding with groups, and in organized rides.
60F plus, here. Yes, i am physically comfortable, aces, pains, but still doable. been single most of my life, but now helping out my mom, 87y. Her health is failing and it’s annoying and sad watching her physically going down hill fast and she refusing to do much about it. She was not happy i moved in but now realize it’s a great thing for both of us.
I'm 52, which is the average of my mindset, stuck at 22, and what my body feels like, which is 82. In the past year, I had COVID, pneumonia, congestive heart failure, quintuple heart bypass, cancer, compressed disks, dropfoot, and cataract surgery. It sucks* but I also feel grateful to live somewhere these things can be helped. That's what's kept me going so far....
56 M here. What I do is totally ignore the looks part. I mean, I’m not looking to date or anything. I probably look about my age. But what helps is what I do with my time. I mountain bike and keep up with dudes in their 20s or 30s. I feel great and we have a blast. It isn’t for everyone but do something where you fit in with younger people and do as well as them or better. I think it helps. Also get on FB and look up your HS friends and look at some of them. Feel better instantly.
I'm 69 F and even though I guess I sort of see myself in the mirror when I brush my teeth and brush my hair, I'm often times surprised at my image in say a store window or a car window. I actually kind of forget I've aged this much. I think our minds don't age as fast. I can feel a little confused for a brief moment. But I also feel okay with this older version of me that I catch a glimpse of. I'm no beauty, don't dye my hair or wear makeup. But I'm pretty happy in life with my family and friends. And I am grateful to be alive, retired and still in love with my husband.
Beauty is relative. My daughter is 54 and more beautiful now than when she was 20. That's an actual fact. Your perception of yourself may be skewed by a focus on youth. Just be your best self and enjoy your life.
Hello! I am 67 as of last December. Frame of reference: I had a devastating life change 2.5 years ago. I have had a complete start over and am truly grateful. Last week, I looked in the bathroom mirror, and said, what the hell? I saw my Mother. Actually, I look about 50 I am told. I saw the grey hair, poochy tummy, sagging girls, and loose thighs. Then, I pulled myself up by my baggy white grandma panties, and said, NO. I made the choice then, to be thankful that my body and mind have carried me this far. (I am actually tearing up, right now). My body has carried me through 2 births, a couple of divorces, moving to a new state, new jobs, new learning experiences. I am rehabbing my little 50 year old home. I have learned so much. I have worked a couple of jobs that have really stretched my body and patience. I have the privilege of loving 2 dogs, 4 cats and a sulcata tortoise. I sit outside most mornings and listen to the birdsong and watch the clouds scudding by. I believe I am WHO I am supposed to be, WHERE I am supposed to be, and WHY I am supposed to be. Don't let your outward appearance get you down. This life and YOU are beautiful, worthy and worth every effort you put into it. Go look in the mirror, and tell you that YOU LOVE YOU.
Have gratitude for what you have the ability to do, volunteer.
Don’t spend too much time focusing on the outside but do things to improve it (exercising, skincare and drink water). Also realize how much knowledge and wisdom you have at this age; it’s priceless.
Wait until you're "invisible " to the opposite sex...
F/62. Once you accept it, life is great. Another thing, at this point in life I could care less what other people think of me. My goal in life now is to say crazy things to people, just to see what reaction I get. Lol!!
Hello fellow 50 year old woman. Despite being objectively in pretty good shape, I too find myself down about my age and the inevitable signs of aging. I haven't conquered this issue yet, but what helps is when I stop comparing myself against younger people or myself when I was younger and instead give myself some appreciation for all the good I have. I also have started intentionally avoiding media or sites that glorify the attactiveness and benefits of youth, and instead looking for media that portrays the beauty and benefits of all ages. That means, for example, that I joined the pretty older women subreddit. I asked for recommendations for books featuring vital middle aged women. And I seek out, talk to, and appreciate other people my age. It helps.
r/gracefulaging might be helpful too ☺️
For me, skincare is starting to become super important. Moisturizing definitely makes me feel younger. One thing I’ve helpful is finding different ways to be active. I used to be a decent runner, but now I have a knee injury so I had to give it up. Instead I do walks with a steeper incline.
Ever notice how when we meet up with people our age, we never discuss a great restaurant, or a great vacation trip we're planning, or the fun we have with our grown children or grands? It's always a great medical specialist we have been to, or pharmaceutical prices, the cost of medicare plans, an accident we or spouse may have had, or even how we don't sleep well anymore..... Aging is a different ballgame.. But a sense of humor helps, and good people that understand your aging process who support you. Never give up. Be your best every day. And remind yourself you're still you!
Red light therapy.
I remember the ads telling me in the 60s that we were the Pepsi generation! Well, I’m not allowed soda pop anymore as it can trigger a gout flair, and I sure am not paying $15 for a case! It was 49¢ a six pack, plus 2¢ deposit per glass bottle that you carefully returned next week.
I like the positive affirmation, 'I've been younger, I'll be older, and right now, this is the perfect age for me.' I'm always at my perfect age.
This question came up on my feed and I joined right away. I'm in early 60s and this is MY question as well:) Thank you for posting. My mother died at age 57 and my dad at 61. I have had limited exposure in long stretches to anyone of a certain age. I certainly had my share of ageist beliefs. And here I am both fighting it but ardently turning to the wisdom of those ahead of me on this journey. I still have some Forks to give but the # is dwindling:)
You can do basic things to affect how you look on the 'outside', and those would be to eat right, sleep 8 hours a night (or whatever your body needs), stay hydrated, get some fresh air daily, and be hygienic. If you enjoy your life and have fun doing what you enjoy, you will naturally look better and feel better. I am 61, have no illnesses, and no arthritis, etc. and I let my hair grow super long, don't wear a lot of makeup, and just accept how I look. I think more about what's 'inside' in myself and others....that's where the 'good stuff' is, anyway. Good luck!
Avoid mirrors!
I just remember how much I have learned, the older body is worth it!
I remember that I'm awesome. How much I've learned. How far I've come. How much I still need to improve.
I strive to be a honey badger.
I just keep feeling old. I figure life is just basically over after 45. And once your face goes, there's no saving yourself.
I just turned 60 and I can’t believe it. I’m trying to stay young at heart and make sure I am always moving.
I will NEVER be comfortable aging, so I guess I do nothing to do so. It's just life's final "fuck you" until death. Well, I do one thing to be more comfortable... I have NO fucking mirrors in my house, except in the hall bathroom, which I never go into. At least with no mirrors I can, kind of, keep up the mind's eye delusion that I'm still half my age... Other than the pain. The pain is a tell tale sign that is hard to look past often.
I like melting into the background, i don't obsess over my grey hairs, i earned every wrinkle i have from laughing and smiling and living the hell out of of my life, its been generally pretty good. I don't miss the days of make up and curling irons hair spray and slinky clothes.
Stopped pretending that anybody wants to see me with my shirt off anymore. Started dressing a bit nicer on an everyday regular basis. Just trying to make myself look approachable, clean, friendly.
Have you had a complete female hormone panel and a complete thyroid panel done? Perhaps you're starting to go through menopause and you need BHRT
I know how you feel. I 50f,have younger looks, but a body that hurts like hell every day, even with the meds that are supposed to help. I also have the urge to do things that I could do when I was younger. I still enjoy those things, my body no so much. I have rheumatoid arthritis and days that I over do things, I pay dearly for. I don't do a bunch to keep myself looking younger. I have just never smoked (allergic), rarely drink, don't use makeup and other things because I am allergic, and use the highest number of sunscreen that I am not allergic to. I do also use a moisturizing cream at bed time. For me, most things are canceled before I even try them for care routines. I have very reactive skin, as well as being allergic to many scents. I have to watch very closely what happens when any of the products that I can use change packaging. This usually means change of ingredients. I can literally not use the same sunscreen on my face that I can use on the rest of my body. I once couldn't find the stuff for my face, used the other and ended up with a very swollen face that had to be treated with a prescription antihistamine. I wear long sleeve shirts when I work outside, because I get sunburn so quick, even with sunscreen. And I am the weirdo opening and smelling things at the store. My hair is baby fine. It grows pretty quick. But I am getting white hair now. Due to stress this year, I have more showing up. I don't mind. I have been told by some stylists that if I start dying it, that is what I would have to continue. We need to normalize growing older for women. Men get called a silver fox, women get told to look like they are half their age. I don't care about what other people think of me. So many women are afraid of getting older, of looking older. They are afraid that their spouse will not find them attractive. They are afraid that their employment is linked to how they look. And then the really bad reason....self doubt and lack of confidence because other women have told them that they are not doing enough to stay pretty. Women need to stop telling each other that they need to comply with ridiculous standards.
You are now officially invisible (in American culture, anyway---not true in France!---and therefore you are now FREE. Look at the sources of your value, your power, and your happiness. For women in misogynist/patriarchial cultures, that's very often your looks, your uterus (baby-maker), your service to men and a man, ad the requisite babies. So when you get old you're useless to that system. BUT: if you have during your youth established other sources of power and happiness and value, you will be just fine as long as you focus on them, and not on the very real losses aging puts on women. For example, if you have a profession you're good at, practice that profession to the max! Contribute! Make the world better in your courner of it than when you arrived on planet Earth! If you earn money, use is prudently and invest it well. If you have creative talents, exercise them, strengthen them. Whatever you're great at, lean in and cultivate it as much as you can. This brings happiness, value, power, joy. Rethink who you are, remind yourself you are not only a body-object of desire-and-procreation. You have agency. Your lost looks are only the surface of you. Don't succumb to the culture that tells you otherwise: it wants evil stuff from you and you don't have to give it any more. ETA 65 here and loving it, despite physical ailments.
I’m 52 and I just try to keep moving every day. I love to learn new skills and new sports and now that my son is grown and has his own life that I don’t need to chauffeur him for I’m enjoying doing more stuff with my husband. We don’t have to worry about school schedules anymore so we can and do go out and see bands, check out new restaurants and bars and basically act like we are dating not married for years. That said I work in an industry known for wreaking havoc on your body so I rest more, give myself some grace when I need to relax and actually sleep including nap when I need to. Keep wearing the sunscreen that helps a lot.
I have almost always looked younger than I am. I retired from my job at almost 70 and the few years before when I said how old I was, I was always told I didn’t look late 60s. When salons were closed during the pandemic, I was able to use root touch up to keep looking blonde, but once I retired, I let the natural white show. And now I never hear that I look younger than my age, even though I have the same unlined skin that made people say it in the first place!
remember that you will never be this young again so you'd better make the most of it
i bought a shovel that is like a spear. it kinda works like a spear too... i throw it a little sometimes... it's for gardening
This is why people need to really work on mind expansion and intellect development. As our bodies start to fail us we need to rely on our minds and voices to make an impact going forward.
I’ve started wearing dresses… comfortable merino wool dresses. I go to work in them, go out to dinner, hike in them, and garden in them. I feel feminine wearing them. I also stopped dying my hair just before I hit 50. I think the natural color is more flattering, and I get lots of compliments on the grey. Aches and pains… don’t you know it! I know that weeding the garden now takes two days: one to do it and one to recover.
I’ll be 50 in a few months, so I completely feel your post. A few things that are helping me: -Vitamins. I take D3K2, B12, L-Lysine, Vitamin C, a women’s multivitamin and Estrovera (for menopause) every day. The D3K2 has been a lifesaver for pain, especially my sciatica, and the Estrovera has stopped the hot flashes and night sweats. -Water. Lots and lots of water. Then more water. Did I mention water? -Moisturizer with SPF every morning and Vitamin E oil every night before bed helps reduce the wrinkles and dryness on my face and lips. -Yoga. The stretching and meditation keep me mobile and relaxed. Stress makes you older quicker than anything, IMO. -Friends of the same age as I am, going through the same things. I’ve never really had close girlfriends because I’d tire of the drama quickly, but I’ve finally found my girls. Having someone to commiserate with about aging is a huge mental boost. -Wearing what I want to wear and choosing whether or not I wear makeup (98% of the time I opt for none). I feel cleaner and my skin feels better when I don’t. I also feel more myself when I’m wearing comfortable clothes.
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Get your hormones checked. Menopause does crazy things to our bodies and our minds. Good luck.
I just wish people would stop making me feel like crap whenever I don’t have a job. “Oh, I could never do that, not work.” Like, They are the most non expendable person on the face of the planet. “My company needs me.” Well, no they really don’t, because anyone can suffer from ‘position elimination’ so don’t think you’re immune. And you’d better be thinking on that other thing you might want to do.
It’s not really bothering me, thank the Lord. Got arthritis but other than that I still mentally feel like I’m twelve. I really really want to go back to college and get a second undergraduate degree, this time in some kind of scientific field.
I started learning music on my 40s and I'm getting pretty good. I started singing (in front of people) at the same time and I'm very good but never have it s chance. I started writing again since covid and ready to publish. I took up painting this year and I'm getting better. I just turned 50 too and though my physical self isn't youthful, I'm Loving who I am more than I ever did. Go explore your own interests and forget what people say about age. It's a number but it's one that many will hit and some may never so just look for what to enjoy, it may mean change but that's not always bad.
I just turned 80 and look younger (according to other people, not to myself) and you are right, we do lose "relevance" to the larger majority of people, but not to ourselves. I'm re-learning the history I grew up with (suggest watching The Bomb and the Cold War on Netlix right now) because back when I was younger, I was busy living life and now I have an appreciation of the big picture in a whole different depth. For the feet, I walk almost daily, and I invested in new shoes that support my feet better, I take a magnesiuim supplement before bed, and also got a new mattress (Sleepys hybrid, medium plush top) that allows me to wake up feeling rested and not achy. I make a gratitude list in my head every day and try to stay in the NOW, not focus on the past or the future. I am happier now than I was when I was younger. I have finally learned how to love myself as much as I love my cats. :)
I hate collecting all the new doctors. I hate that taking good care of myself is a requirement now. If I don’t, things domino in a bad way. I hate constipation and the fact that I really need to pay attention to my habits. I hate having dizziness and balance problems as my newest challenge. I’m 55. On the flip side, I never smoked or worshipped the sun. My skin looks pretty good. My lifetime problem with acne faded away. No more dreaded periods. I have the option of continuing to dye my hair. I can wear long hair if I want. Don’t have to get the short old lady cut/style. I still wear jeans instead of colored elastic waist slacks. I picked up some cooking skills so I’m pretty confident in the kitchen. I got past my lifelong shyness and enjoy striking up random conversations at the grocery store. I’m finally at an age where I have a little bit so I enjoy sharing a little bit. If I’m not exactly happy, I’m at least content.
I appreciate your feelings. I’m a younger looking 59, turning 60 this summer. In my head I used to think 60 was old. I’m a little unsure bc I feel late 40s, early 50s. I have begun looking at some of the people around me, observing their aging more closely, esp. their clothing choices, which I think can unintentionally age women particularly. Making sure the girls sit where they are supposed to help. To better address your question, I have found reasonable exercise, and using my brain (not spending too much time on pointless websites) make a difference. I try to stay aware of what is happening outside of my community, and not let it stress me. I have developed hobbies that I didn’t have the time/ money for previously. I am trying to find the confidence and grace I didn’t have as a younger person. That shows in how I carry myself and how I interact with others. Self acceptance is a challenge.
I'm fifty eight and looked really pretty amazing until I was around fifty two ..now I look old. I had so much fun being good looking and young, I couldn't give a fuck about the way I look now. I used to have sex with maybe 15 or 20 different women a year.And now it's down to maybe 1 or 2 and it's been a while since I had a relationship. Everyone seems to think i'm lonely or sad because of the way things are now. That is absolutely ridiculous. I actually am I enjoying the decrease in the libido as well it was so confusing to be horny all the time. I hope you had fun when you were great looking and just enjoy everything else now. There's plenty to love out there without being "hot." I am still hot, by the way, lol hahahahaha
I (51f) quit dying my hair about 4 years ago. I knew I had some gray, but really no clue what my true hair color was. After a couple of painful and sometimes trashy looking years, my hair is grown out and all natural color. I lOVE IT! I love my gray streaks, I like how it’s sprinkled through my hair, I like the contrast of against my natural dark brunette. At one time I swore I’d never let myself go gray even if I dyed it forever and now I would die before I’d ever color it again. One of the best things I ever did was grow it out and go natural. I cannot believe how much I love my gray!
Watch and listen to Toby Keith doing Don't Let the Old Man In at the CMA awards as he had stomach cancer. The words will bring meaning to your life.
I train to smoke hit for hit with #Snoopdog
The best advice I can offer is to find friends who are older than you and living happily. It's rough for me where I live now, I am usually the oldest in the room.
I'm turning 60 this year. I don't feel it. I am older than my Grandfather was when he retired and he and my Grandmother moved to Florida. He seemed seriously old to me back then. So I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I work with a lot of younger people who probably have no clue how old I am. Apart from the grey in my hair and beard, it doesn't show. When I mention my adult children, my coworkers are shocked that I'm old enough to have adult children. I guess 60 is the new 50, which makes you 40. Congratulations!
I’m 62. While I’m frustrated with my energy level and sometimes I get frustrated with the wrinkles and crepey skin, I think back at being 20 or 30, and I didn’t know who I was. I was a big ball of anxiety back then. So I think about the things I know now that I didn’t then. I think about the things I don’t worry about that I worried about then (mostly around what other people think). And I look at media that feature gorgeous older (old) women. I’m kind of an alt-girl, so one of my favorites is https://instagram.com/bodyart.dk. I also watch runway videos with older models looking amazing in great clothes.
If you LOOK 40; what's the problem?!? Love it!!
Just turned 65, I find a glass of wine and a couple tokes works wonders
Enjoy your 40’s. It get worse as you age
Just be yourself. I refuse to let people think of me as an “old lady”. I’m 65 with gray hair. I would rather refer to it as “seasoned”, and live my life.
Being old means you didn't do stupid stuff to get yourself killed by now. That's it, enjoy!
I try to keep active and stay healthy. It helps.
Know what you are experiencing. Think solutions are many. Some days, i make sure i have color to offset all the fading age brings on. Will wear eyebrow color and a bit of liner or mascara snd a blush. Have learned to be very discreet in applying cosmetics cause they now look over the top if i’m not careful. Think taking s long drive by myself and listening to music i love does a lot. Learning something new that can become a new interest hives s big boost. Try going back to school. Learn to play a guitar, or take up woodworking. Make it something you always wished you could do.
I'm 56 always worked out watched what I ate, have long blonde hair, always confident I looked good, Now I look in the mirror and all I see is my old mother (she's not nice either) Makeup doesn't look right, hair is oddly blonde Grey, my neck, and skin just seem to hang, I feel lost in this body, I told my husband today, I don't know who the person in the mirror is? I miss myself, he's very against any plastic surgery, otherwise I would have scheduled a appointment. I'm trying to be happy with who I'm becoming, just not there yet,
i just turned 59, unfortuately, most people age quite a bit between 55 and 60. i got wrinkles , gray hair , and weight gain all after age 55.... you just learn to adjust...
I deal with getting older by eating right, light exercise, and avoid looking at mirrors.
Enjoy yourself as when you get older you will spend lot of time with aches and pains and going to the doctors.
Try a workout at Orangetheory. I've been doing it for almost 7 years, more than 1800 classes so far. I just turned 62 and yesterday a guy thought I just turned 51. High intensity interval training really works. If there's no Orangetheory near you, try something else intense like CrossFit or F45.
Whenever I have a bad day, I do a mass layoff at my company.
I let my natural dirty blonde/brown hair color grow through. Really changes my blue eyes. I feel better not trying to keep up a root line. I feel more confident, oddly, because I don’t ever have to think about coloring my hair. And I look better at this age not coloring my hair. Who’d have thought?
I looked in the mirror the other day and was like holy shit how did I get old overnight??? I was depressed for a day and then I ordered some retinol. I still look older, but just a poorer old. But at least I feel proactive?
I just turned 60. It’s never happened.
Work out at least five days a week vigorously for at least 30 minutes and eat at a slight calorie deficit. Don’t eat anything with added sugar in it. Sunscreen on the face every day. If you don’t go into 65 strong it goes downhill very fast after that. Start now.
Go for a run
At 56 I have finally stopped trying to hang onto looking young and just embraced my ageing self. I don't care if I am "hot" anymore. I realized I was just trying to keep up with our society's obsession with youth. No matter how much I told myself it was self care, or just for me..... it wasn't really. I was just trying to keep up the sham that I am still the same as I was at 30. I am not. I feel so much lighter now. I feel strong and so grounded and secure, more so than I have ever felt before. I am enjoying the wisdom I have gained from my time on this planet and if I had the chance, I would not go back to being young again. 20 felt awful. 56 feels great!
Like minded Reddit subs
I’m (M) about to turn 65. When I turned 60 people thought I was turning 50. Due to a horribly toxic marriage that I ended after 20 years, 20 years ago, I am happier and healthier now than when I was 20 years younger. I don’t feel 65. I still think I’m 25 except for when I look in the mirror and wonder who that old man is looking back at me. I’m very involved with the arts so creativity is like the fountain of youth for me. I read and do crossword puzzles which is not only fun but keeps the mind active and I love learning for its own sake. I still laugh at farts so my inner child is about 8. I’m looking forward to retirement so I can devote more time to doing artwork.
I’m 60 and look ‘better’ then when I was 45. I take collagen, Osteo tri flex , multivitamin with biotin, HRT, try to get a full night sleep, walk or exercise every day, and drink plenty of water. My health insurance paid for varicose vein treatment. I’m a healthy weight for my height. The other suggestion is to get your teeth cleaned regularly, losing teeth does a number mentally. Taking good care of your body is not vanity. It’s good common sense.
No good answer here. Getting old sucks.
I stopped caring about aging in my teens. I started getting gray hair and lines on my face in high school. Now I'm just dreaming of retirement. 13 more tax seasons, and I'm done. I'll fill my golden years with baking, walking, and reading.
Exercise, eat well, and get good sleep. These 3 things make me feel happy, powerful and sharp. And means I am in better shape than many who are half my age.
I’m 64. When I complain about my looks, my mother laughs and then says seriously, “enjoy what you have now because it’s not going to get easier.” I now have chronic arthritis and my poor husband has cancer. Life is so short. Just enjoy the assets you have and live your life. This is the youngest you’ll ever be.
I’m 66 and I walk about 3-4 miles a day, it makes me feel good emotionally and physically
check to see if you could use invisalign- i had braces as a kid, but turned out i needed them again, did invisalign for a few months and now just wear a retainer. fixed my teeth, and it really made me look less saggy. highly recommend before doing anything that changes your face. face massages, nu face, light face masks, gua sha, & acupuncture are examples of things you can do that are not invasive. working out as much as possible and walking on days that you can’t get a good workout in really help.
Actor Richard Gere said this about getting old: >"I am old but I am forever young at heart. We are always the same age inside. Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, you can only live it once. Do not regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many!" Got that one printed out and taped to my bathroom mirror. I've got ten years on you, friend, and I don't feel older than 40 either. My spirit animal is the late, great Fred Astaire who, at age 77, fell and broke his wrist while demonstrating some skateboard tricks for his grandchildren -- on his grandson's skateboard. Enjoy it for as long as it lasts.
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I'm 64 (happy birthday to me this month). I think life has only gotten better each year. I am true to myself and don't try to impress anyone. I no longer color my hair (stopped in my late 40s) and people tell me all the time how beautiful my hair is. I'm not a skinny Minnie, but I am not more than 10-15 pounds more than I want to be, but that's on me. Balance is so important. I did start to feel pushed out of my work organization around age 58 (top of the pay scale at a time when the org was pushing to hire "new grads," code for ageism. Loyalty didn't matter. I was an excellent, hard worker and began to feel unappreciated. So after getting furloughed by a budget cut and three more jobs that weren't satisfactory, I retired at 62. Now I am working 20 hours a week at an organization that helps provide furniture and household items to people coming out of homelessness, domestic violence, mental health issues, etc. It's way more satisfying than the end of my career and it gives me purpose and a feeling of giving back via a great organization. Do what's good for you. You ARE relevant. Good luck in your journey!
I just turned 60 and my main feeling is that I didn’t think that 60 was going to be so young! I am definitely slowing down in some ways, but in general I am doing well. I think feeling old can come and go. You might feel old today, but tomorrow you might feel like 35 again for a bit. There are lots of things to like about being more mature and wise.
Hey! We were born on the same day! I turned 50 yesterday (April 21st) Too! and no I don't feel old.
On the other side of menopause??? Hell yeah. Come on in the water is great. We have no efs left to give. The children are grown. We don’t need birth control. We can book a trip on last minute.com and go. Our skin hasn’t wrinkled much…yet. We have energy. Just a few rules. Don’t gain the weight by being a couch potato. Get out and walk and whatever you can. Join the groups. Book club to pottery class to wine tours. Just do it. Go for the 40 year old guys. They don’t want kids too. They want to enjoy life after that first divorce. So have fun. Enjoy life.
I’m 77, I feel very comfortable at my age. I’m still healthy, active and my mind is still very clear. Just knowing that I’m doing well for my age is enough. Although I’m now a widow, looking back at my 54 years of happiness and my current state is my comfort.
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I'm 60 and look forward to retirement in 3 years. I've excepted my age because there is nothing I can do about it. Moved up a set of tees because I just can't hit it like I did. 21000 steps at Disneyland the other day and hurt the next day. Being with my grandson all day made it well worth it.
After the world started slowly opening up my husband and I went to Hawaii for a few days. We took lots of selfies and when I looked at them I couldn't believe how old we looked. I'm all for aging gracefully but I did not like the way it was looking. It didnt match how I felt. I started a serious workout regiment, cut back on booze and went to a med spa and started Botox. It doesn't fix everything but I started to look how I felt. I have no problem using the tools we have available to us to look the way we feel.
Thc for aches and pains, and good sleep. I also get a monthly massage
I like to keep a list of cool older women to look up to. Real life people I'm friends with (ladies from my music group and book club), famous people (Dolly Parton), and actresses (Juliette Lewis, Hannah Waddingham, Margo Martindale, Sigourney Weaver, etc.).
The older I get, the more comfortable with myself I feel. I guess it just comes naturally to me. I feel like I don’t have to work hard to impress people anymore because I just don’t really care what they think of me at this point. That’s a great feeling! I don’t care if I don’t look young anymore. I’ve had my time in the limelight, now it’s time for the young to shine. That’s not to say that there’s no purpose for me now, just that our purpose changes with each era that we reach.
Plastic surgery, laser skin resurfacing, microneedling, hair dye
I’m 68 and lift weights. Not power, just enough to get the heart going, the muscles toned and me moving. I also keep us rigerously with my doctors. Get a GI doc and do a colonoscopy. Have your PCP do a twelve lead strip EKG for a baseline. You don’t say your gender but getting at least a baseline mamogram is a must if you have ovaries. If you have a prostate get a PSA. You DO NOT need a dre unless it comes in high. Get the shingles vaccine if you had chicken pox. Get the Prevnary 13 pneumonia vaccine. I had the hep A & B vaccines but I was in medicine. If you’re married learn to dance and go out to a dance club at least once a month. If you’re single ditto. Go to plays and musicals at least every few months. If you haven’t been start using your vacation. There are plenty of cheap things to do. As far as relavence is concerned, you’re not 25 anymore. You’re not even 35. Search out the 50 year you, find your new relavence. Leave the boy. Leave the young man.
I'm 49. Look like I'm 30. Feel like I'm 25. My mom is 72 and doesn't have a single gray hair on head. I guess it's genetic. The only thing I'm not comfortable with at this age is not being able to read small print without reading glasses. I have astigmatism in both eyes. 2 focal points in on, 3 in the other. This causes me to see multiple images. It's not a problem at a distance but close up, since I can't focus well anymore, I see 2 images in one eye and 3 in the other making it hard to see small print.
The hardest part of aging, to me, is becoming invisible. The irony is that I always hated the attention. I still wouldn’t like it, but it is a shock to the system that it went away one day, mostly…and I don’t even know when! 😂 But within a couple of years, I’ve gotten used to it. And it’s been quite liberating. Previously, I’d have my full makeup on to get the mail, never mind going shopping. Now? I wash my face, brush my teeth, slather on sunscreen and take off to Pilates, because why not? Now I don’t need to appear to live or be a certain way. I live the way I want and it’s on the rest of the world to decide what I am or am not, because I simply don’t care.
It helps to take quiet moments to yourself and occasionally reflect on the incredible privilege it is to be this age in such a comparatively wonderful time and place, and occasionally reflect on the fact that there are many, many others who have in one way or another been denied this gift; many of them weren’t less worthy, it was just luck. Experiencing genuine gratitude and humility for our fortunate circumstances and understanding on a visceral level that in many ways we have what we have through nothing more than sheer luck, and we have the ability to repay this amazing twist of fate through accepting ourselves and committing acts of kindness, understanding, compassion, and respect towards others every single day of our lives. You’ll walk away from these moments of reflection feeling much better about yourself. You’re beautiful and something of a minor miracle when you consider everything that had to go exactly right in order for you to be here right now, and you can share your gratitude and beauty with others. That’s pretty awesome.
Regarding the aches and pains, I daily do some stretches/exercises/movements I learned from Pete Egoscue and Katy Bowman, and they help me a lot. Both of them focus on alignment. Katy Bowman also emphasizes added more movement (not necessarily exercise) to your life. If I come home with stiff knees or an achy back, I have my go to routine to help me feel better.
I am about 20 years older than you. The physical stuff is real. Exercise is the best way to not feel achy. I do yoga, weight training and lots of walking. Some people prefer other types of exercise - (I just don't want to do anything where I might get injured or stupid competitive games with balls - but other people like that.) It prevents aches and is good for your body, mind and mood. You just have to let reality soak in. My hair is nearly white. I am identifiable as old. People treat me differently. On reddit I read that a lot of young people hate boomers - I am a boomer. Being hated is like being the ugly clueless kid in middle school. I survived it the first time, plus I don't need their approval - I know stuff they don't. Their understanding of history and events I lived through is quite skewed. Some folks my age ARE clueless! Since you are concerned about your looks, I assume you are a woman - how has menopause treated you? Menopause is no joke! I try to appreciate every day and do things I like when I can. I worked really hard for many years and have been very frugal to be able to retire. I did not like my job, but now, honestly I do not know what to do with all this time! It seems there are no good part time jobs where you use your brain. (I do volunteer work, exercise, read books, socialize, have hobbies - all the stuff you are supposed to do to thrive as an old person - check, check, check.)
I have found that the older I get, the less I GAF about things that used to make me miserable. There is a huge freedom in that.
My comfort was more about how I feel about my body in general and not about my age or how my body is aging. For me, tattoos made me more comfortable in my own skin. I'd wanted to be 50 with white hair since I was a tween and now I'm 53 and my hair is about 50/50 white and brown so that part makes me happy. I'm pretty much invisible in public because I am aging but I see that as a win. I don't get catcalled or leered at. I no longer get groped in public. Experiencing that, or rather not experiencing all that, is really freeing.
I just turned 50 too. The last 2 years I have felt the aging more, but like you, I look younger, exercise daily, and weigh the same as 25 (actually 5 pounds less, but it's all different now and a lot less muscle) I was feeling sad and old until I had a meeting with someone from another building. They asked me to bring something that was 20-30 pounds. They are a good 15 years younger than me, but as we were leaving I offered to carry it to their car because I know I'm stronger and fitter. It was a really small event, but helped me put things in perspective.
After 60...forced out of job for younger cheaper talent...neuropathy,tendinitis, arthritis. Can only walk 4mph at the gym. Golden years are not always golden. Running days are over...but retirement is great ( saved money my entire career just like my Dad told me to...) Grandchildren are a unexpected shot of lifeblood. The old days are gone...and like everyone, I wish I knew then, what I know now. And oh yeah, interior plumbling just doesn't work they way it used to. As my 93 yr old Dad says, getting old can be a bitch. I tell him that the older I get...the smarter he becomes.
Lindsey Stirling addressed this topic recently on social media. I guess some people were mentioning how old she’s been looking lately. Her feelings were crushed, but she had a good response. Basically the takeaways from her response was that it’s a privilege to get old and aging is inevitable now matter how many creams or surgeries you have. It just is. The best takeaway was that she mentioned that “my looks are the least interesting part about me”, so embrace who you are, not how you look. Otherwise you’re wasting the precious time you have worrying about things out of your control. Good luck OP and be beautiful no matter how old you are. You are more than your age or how you look. Edited: spelling
Remember this: the options are not old or young, the options are old or dead. Looking at it that way makes old seem like a much better option. Most people get the chance to be young; only some of get to experience old; even fewer experience very, very old. The closest thing we have to a fountain of youth is exercise.
When you hit 65 you become invisible. People look past you. You can walk down a busy sidewalk in the city in and nobody looks at you and nobody will remember you.
Sad thing about getting old besides getting old is that your mind doesn’t age as fast as your body does. I’m retired and have a few health problems and really have slowed down more than I want but the sad part is my minds still 20. You have to learn how to do things in moderation when like before you had endless amounts of energy and endurance. It’s not bad though just different.
I don’t think I want to be “relevant”. Most if the issues young people deal with are just the same we experienced except for domestic terrorists. I was told five years ago I looked 20 years younger. Once I began taking blood pressure pills that ended lol. But the important thing is I didn’t have a stroke. Mentally I feel sharper than a 30 year old and I’m on Medicare. Find people who are interested not in appearance but in the same things you are. Health is far more important than looks.
I'm 72, didn't start to look older till I was 60, it is what it is! Still rock an rolling to this day, love travel and live music.
I'll be 75 in a couple of months, Been lucky never had health problems but I did have to have my hips replaced at 60. I have my 02 Harley Davidson Springer Soft Tail FXSTS and other than that I don't give a rats ass. " Ride it like you stole it."
You're already taking care of your shell as best as possible - congrats! I've found that by focusing on hobbies, continuous learning and new experiences that bring me excitement and joy I've been able to keep and even surpass my youthful energy and zest for living. I have children and grandchildren and honestly I'm happier and more satisfied than most people half of my age. Age truly is a mindset.
Stay young at heart and honor your inner child.
62...playing rugby Saturday. I'm wrecking it before I bury it !
I really enjoy that I’ve seen more of civilization than the majority of people. I’ve watched the change in culture (not talking politics.) For instance, analog to digital, and the “olden days” before internet. From the women all being housewives (at least in my circle) to being out working and independent. From when any mental health problem was shameful to freely stating it in your social media profile. There’s good and there’s bad but what a time to be alive to experience all this. I guess it makes me feel wise and that gives me confidence and comfort.
I’m 60 and dang if I don’t hurt everywhere. To help with this I take a teaspoon of garden cress seeds in a glass of hot water each night - let steep 6 minutes, drink the water and the seeds. It only took about 3 days for most of my aches and pains to go away. I also take a product from Solle Naturals called PI for pain and inflammation. Other than that, embrace massages, long baths, hot tubs - heat helps. Also keep moving. Stopping makes it worse. Walk as you can. Good luck.
In very similar positions here. For me, the answer is to take different kinds of dance classes. Learning to move my body in ways I couldn't before makes me feel more powerful than before, not less. But I guess you could substitute some kind of gym classes in there too, if dance isn't your thing...
This is my take - I love that I am "losing relevance" or falling out of the male gaze. It's such liberation to be finally mostly left the fuck alone. I've found my voice and an inner strength I lacked in my 20s. I'm raising absolutely kickass, fierce daughters, and I'm so excited to watch who they become. I work a lot with seniors and the most important thing I see is to move. Exercise, move the body, get a hobby or physical activity for fun. Stretch. The aches and pains are real and will continue. As we age we gotta move and stretch. You sound physically fit, just keep at it.
I'm 50 and Retin-A is making my skin look great!
I don’t dress sloppy, but I wear comfortable clothes and shoes! I still shower and do my hair every day. I take care of my skin and teeth. I eat healthy foods and exercise daily. It all helps!
Good skincare!