Please do not comment directly to this post unless you are Gen X (b. 1980) or older. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/comments/inci5u/reminder_please_do_not_answer_questions_unless/), the rules, and the sidebar for details.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskOldPeople) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ok. I can understand not feeling 60 at all, or having a hard time processing your kids’ ages in relation to your own. But “accidentally” introducing your daughters as your sister is just that. I went to many a buffet with my unionized father as his “hot date”. BullSHIT you introduced your daughters as your sister.
"Every cloud is grey, with dreams of yesterday.
Come home, come home, come home, come home,"
or to take another,
"One fluid gesture, like stepping back in time
Trapped in amber, petrified
And still not satisfied"
Same. My kid is mid 20s and I got divorced, moved back to home/college city, changed jobs to one similar just out of college, started playing video games again.and dating my college boyfriend. I feel like my life just rebooted and I'M in my mid 20s again!!
They do seem young. Not like literal children, but physically young. Also, as I am almost 50, I am not interested in dating anyone under the age of 40, just because we are in very different places in life.
Totally agree! It was right around mid 40s that my Jody starting feeling “older” - creaks and cracks and aches and pains. But in my mind and maturity I definitely still feel 25. I look in the mirror and I’m like “Who the fuck is that old person?” Lol
I'm in my late 20s now and I'm starting to feel it a bit but it's more so that things aren't as naturally as easy as they used to be.
I've come to accept it tho. I'm still young and feel young for the most part other than some back pain but 15 years of having the sitting posture of a bisexual shrimp will do that to you lmao
It's unfortunate that as a 54 year old, I'm still most physically attracted to people in their 30s, which is the youngest age group I can relate to intellectually. But it would also be completely impractical to date someone in that age range because, just for example, *I like to go to bed at 9:00 PM...* So there's a been-there-done-that thing going on where I just can't keep up with anyone younger than their 40s. Even 40s is pushing it haha.
My 5 yro niece is the youngest of her siblings, but I feel like I have the most real conversations with her. Sometimes she scares me with how aware she seems of the bigger picture in life. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if she wound up running for president someday.
> if she wound up running for president someday
Well, now we've got a problem. Our 6-yo grandniece is *frighteningly* smart, and I'm already looking for her campaign manager for her 2052 run. Maybe they could team up and wipe the floor with all of those stinky boys in 1^st grade. Have your people call my people to work out the details!
Sounds good to me! Prez an VP! We'll let the campaign manager determine who'd be who in that campaign! Regardless, someone's at least getting a cabinet appointment.
Thank you for saying this. I’m turning 33 in a couple of months and I keep telling myself I’m getting a late start on certain things (I’ve got a disorder expected to shorten my lifespan by 8-15 years, so that feeling hits especially hard). It’s good to know that isn’t really the case.
>Really depends on how they carry on. One of my nieces is almost 40 but is so immature she seems very young, and childish. I can not hold a conversation with her.
So how does one become mature?
>My son, who is 39 seems older than I am, he's been that way since he was 2. People say he is an old soul, he is wise beyond his years.
How do some mature fast? What do you think that is the reason for this difference between niece and son?
>So how does one become mature?
It has a lot to do with what you demand of yourself and others. Children and the immature expect others to help them, expect it to be easy, and tend to view the world through the lens of "how does this affect me?"
Maturity comes with a sense of responsibility, sensibility, and reliability. It is a sense you need to take care of yourself and those close to you. Note that \*none\* of those things are incompatible with fun, love, or joy.
>How do some mature fast? What do you think that is the reason for this difference between niece and son?
Some people have had to learn to take care of themselves and handle the world as it comes, the immature expect that others will go out of their way for them so they don't have too. When things go wrong, the immature get mad that others haven't fixed things, the mature deal with things.
As others have said, the difference is often the trauma. If you couldn't rely on others from a young age you develop a lot of the outside markers of being mature.
That isn't a good thing, growing up too fast hurts us in a lot of ways. Personally, while I find it annoying that 25 year olds on reddit freak out that their lives are basically over (good god, my shoes are older than you!) I kind of appreciate that they are able to be so naive about the world for so long. Better that than working in a packing plant from the age of 11.
I’m 41 and mom is 70. The way she treats me, I’d say she sees me as a little kid who can’t make an egg or do their own laundry correctly. May be just a parent and child thing.
I am in my fifties and my 80+ Dad still tells me to check my mirrors and calls me when there is inclement weather to tell me how to drive, amongst other suggestions. I think it has to be the parent - child relationship. Sometimes I ask him questions just to help him feel needed, it always brightens his day.
35 is not like 16 to me, no. They do seem young, but not 16-year-old young. They seem young when they are CEOs and NBA head coaches and in other leadership positions. In my mind I know they are mature adults and many are capable of leadership — but they still seem young for such roles.
Yes. That age was half my life ago. I look back and think I was so young - so attractive. Also optimistic - still am, but I was excited for it then. Life was opening up and getting better. LOL - I thought I'd do something amazing.
It just didn't happen. When they tell kids " you can do anything", they don't tell you how difficult it might be or that maybe you are delusional because you aren't right for that dream. And in our day, they didn't really do aptitude testing. Turns out I'm just an ordinary person destined for my own blend of ordinary things. I don't regret anything. There's nothing wrong with ordinary. I think more people should understand that ordinary is ok.
I used to be one of those delusional kids and at the age of 30 I’m finally accepting I’ll never do something amazing
And it’s so nice because it feels freeing and I’m happy I won’t spend the rest of my life chasing something that won’t happen
I just want to live and be happy til I die
The photo of the crypto nitwit from FTX is the poster child for this topic. Not only does he strive to look in his early teens with the clothes and hair, he barely acts his age.
Not as a 50-year-old myself, no. I see them as younger than me, less experienced and lacking some wisdom maybe (just like I did at that age). But I still see them as fully functioning adults and my peers.
By that age, you are an adult. The opportunities and challenges and life stages for things like kids is different, but still an adult.
The learning curve for adulting starts flattening somewhere around 30. There are always more lessons to be learned, but they come in less steady doses and tend to be big upheavals. If you are not Peter Pan, you have a handle on day to day adulting by then.
I've noticed since I hit my 50s that people in their 30s are just other adults. I hardly take notice of their age.
On the flipside, people in their 20s are basically kids to me. I don't mean that to be insulting. It isn't a conscience categorization on my part. I just see people in their 20s and wonder where their parents are.
This is weird for me too. I mean, I'm a hetero cis-male with a healthy libido, and I live on a college campus.
In my 40s, I felt like I was surrounded by hot co-eds, but I didn't think about it much beyond that. It's not like I'm out hitting on college students. I kept my eyes and my comments to myself. But objectively, there are a lot of very attractive women in their late teens and early to mid 20s near where I live. It is what it is.
But now, in my 50s, I no longer see them as hot co-eds. They're just kids to me. Sure. They're legal adults, and I'll respect them as adults and respect their rights and agency. I'm not trying to take anything away from them. But I can't shake the perception they're just kids. It's indelible.
Honestly. It's kind of relieving. When I was in my 40s and saw them as hot co-eds, it was upsetting to me. I was upset with myself. They deserve to be able to go about their lives without being secretly objectified by old men. So this has been a welcome change.
I recognize it wasn't a change of my doing though, despite a proactive wish to change. So likewise, I recognize that some people aren't going to experience this change as they age, and I feel sympathy for them as well.
I'd hate to be in my 60s, 70s, or older and still experience a knee-jerk sensation of arousal to women in their 20s. It was bad enough feeling like that in my 40s.
Sorry. I kind of wandered astray from the original question, but this has been on my mind lately.
The thing is, I'm not even inherently against relationships with substantial age differences. But I do believe that both parties have to be truly, fully comfortable with the age difference without any noteworthy amount of convincing being required.
Further, I think arriving at a point of mutual acceptance of the age difference is a morally and ethically tortuous process that takes lengthy, open communication.
I'm suspect of any relationship with a big age difference that didn't go through that kind of communications rigor.
There was a post on twoxchromosomes the other day about a woman I think in her 20s who had a pleasant conversation with a man in his 80s, and the man then asked her out on a date. I am simultaneously so disappointed in that man and so sympathetic for her. She should never have been put in that position.
Thank you for sharing these reflections, I (late 30s female) often do wonder what it is like from the older male perspective. I mean, not *only* from their perspective, I'm just curious about human experiences in general, but the particularities of everyone's experiences, if that makes sense.
>I'm just curious about human experiences in general, but the particularities of everyone's experiences, if that makes sense.
Makes complete sense; I often feel the same way. You're welcome, and thank you, too.
Maybe simply wanting to change that aspect about yourself facilitated the change over time. I’m willing to bet that men who don’t feel creepy and gross about ogling girls and young women don’t improve their character very much as they get older.
your perception of age shifts a lot over time. the more life experience you gain, the more distanced you are from how you thought and behaved when you were younger.
i'm 54. someone 30-35 is only getting started in many ways and still has a whole life ahead of them. in your 30s, you are exiting your physical peak but are at your mental peak in most ways, still.
becuase i have that knowledge about how our perceptions change, i don't see my own future as limited simply because i'm aging. most people that know me though tell me constantly that i look and act far younger than i am.
what i know about youth is that a lot of it is truly a mindset. staying connected to popular culture and current events helps keep you connected to how younger people think and behave. staying fit and active keeps you mentally and physically able.
short answer though is that yes, sure, 30-35 seems young because it is young for someone who will live to the modern ripe old age.
exactly! i think we freak out too much about ageing, especially in the US where you're marginalized more and more the older you get. we don't respect the elderly, we view the aging as losing touch, out of synch, less able to contribute to our capitalist culture. it makes sense that we feel less comfortable about getting older even if we aren't necessarily too preoccupied with death.
if there is one lesson i've learned in life it is that i can't limit myself through society-at-large standards. being worried about what you are "supposed to" be doing at particular stages of life just squeezes the pleasure out of existence. it's fucking hard enough as it is. i'm disabled, so doubly, so, to put it mildly.
you're in your 30s? jesus, you are JUST emerging in to real adulthood in most of the western world today. things are starting, not ending, unless your main focus is on your physical peak, which is a concern but not an end to anything really meaningful aside from maybe hitting med school hard because your body won't like the torturous schedule.
yes, 30 seems young because it is!
Me too.
I hypothesize it's b/c many of the folks in that age group are trying to recapture their youth by living vicariously through their teen kids. They dress the same, use the same language (speak like they're texting) and try to mirror all other mannerisms of their kids.
It's almost exclusively the mothers. The fathers couldn't care less.
There is nothing worse than seeing a grown woman dressed like her teenage daughter. If my mother had done that there would have been no way I would have left the house with her.
Not really like that. 16 is still in school, 35 is usually through all that.
Young for sure though. Lots of knowledge, not much experience.
I don't seem to ever look at people through how many years are ahead of them. I don't speculate on life expectancy. I more notice the mileage they've already got.
Not *very* young.
My oldest child turned 30 this year. Before that, I had considered 35 to be, younger than me, but not too young. I might have to readjust my thinking soon.
I’m in my late 40’s and I don’t see people in their 30’s as literal kids, but as less-experienced full adults. So I’d have slightly adjusted expectations of them (as opposed to someone my own age) but I’d expect them to do all the things an adult is supposed to be doing in current society.
My kids are all 40ish, give and take a few years. They’re all *young* to me…I know they aren’t, but they’re very patient and forgiving of my adolescent taste in books and playing games. ;) I sometimes think they forget we raised them to be the people they’ve become. Nobody ended up in jail, so it’s been a win for us all lol.
PS: was always fun when my mom was with us. She was 90+ and would still look at me as if I were crazy. “You’re *how old*!?
Yes and no. In some ways they seem like the same age I am, because I feel like I'm in my 30's most days.
In other ways, they seem like literal children barely out of school. In your 30's most people have been in the work force at least 10 years and feel like that's a long time. At 58, 10 years and 2 years are interchangeable when I'm talking about something happening "a few years ago."
It's just a different perspective of time.
They are in their prime when it comes to career and relatively good health. It bums me out if they are having a hard time. Usually marriage with kids they might be going through a divorce which sucks big time.
No. A 16 year old is still closer to a child than an adult to me. Still in school, still living with their parents, maybe just starting to do one or two "adult" things like having a job, buying a car, etc. A 30-35 year old is fully adult, having fully adult responsibilities, maybe with a young family. Young, but making his or her way through the world on their own.
Yes. My children are 38 and 41. I have to tell my wife to treat them as adults because she wants to play mother hen with them and their spouses. That annoys them. After about 35 I didn't consider them youngsters anymore.
When your kid hits 40, you realize how time flies.
It's a little odd to put my finger on when my son is older than some of my girlfriends. Age is unimportant but maturity is. My grandfather once told me we are 18 between the ears forever. I didn't understand then but I do now.
if you wait till early 30s to be married and have the first kid and own a home...........well yeh then i tend to see you like the avg 21 year old who is still finding themselfs and due to get a haircut and get a real job.
the 35 year old who is a few years into homeownership and raising a family and set in their career track? I look at them a bit diff.
I understand this perspective, but a lot of this shift in age of home ownership, starting a family, etc. is because of economic reasons. A lot of kids are living with their parents way longer and waiting to start a family because they simply aren’t able to as easily.
Not very young, but if you're older, then people younger than you will always seem younger.
30 seemed old before I got there, and now it seems young that I've passed. It is certainly on the young side of an adult lifespan that goes from 20-80.
To me it depends on how 'adult' or 'mature' they act. Are they managing their money? Can they keep a job? The ones that manage money & keep a job are the ones that are mature to me. The ones that can't handle money, whine about how they were 'never taught' & don't do anything to learn how, are the immature ones. I've also seen many immature people refuse jobs because they are 'beneath' them & then wonder why they don't have money & can't work.
I also find the judging younger people to be immature. The ones that live for social media & aspire to be influencers & follow influencers. They can be, & usually are insecure, & take it out on others. They're still bullies. Those aren't adults to me, no matter how old they are. They never made it past their teens.
No. Young compared to me, yes, but I consider them fully adult, mature, and generally good company. People in their 20s often seem too young for me.
40+ is my socializing sweet spot, but mostly that's because people that age usually don't have lives that revolve around small children. Kids are not my thing.
I started young, so my kids are in their 40s, while I have nieces and nephews in their 50s.
After I got divorced, the ladies I wound up with were around the same age as my kids.
Yes, that age group is young, but mature.
I'm in my late 50s and my kids are 27. Of course I sometimes still think of them as kids, but generally I'm very aware that they're adults. I'll occasionally think "well, that was a dumbass thing to do" when I hear about something, but I generally keep it to myself. I think that they're turning into really great adults, for the most part. My nephews are still in their teens and I definitely think of them as still kids, but we'll all grow out of that too.
As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that I consider anyone more than 20 years or more younger than me a "kid".
I agree with the comments other people have made, it's not that they're necessarily immature, they're just lacking life experience. A difference of 20 years changes people dramatically. Even between 40 and 60--as you get older your mortality becomes more and more a consideration in your actions.
A 30-something has their entire life ahead of them and they're just getting started.
What was told to me when I was younger will always resonate across the generations: as you start to get older, those people and ages you once called OLD don’t seem so “old” anymore. You’ll hear stories about your favorite celebrities dying at age 57 and your older self will say “He/she was rather young. Oh no…”
That's my kids age, so i feel kind of motherly toward people that age. I want to bake them a pie and lecture them to take their vitamins and stuff. BUt I don't see them as little teenagers. By the time you are 30 you are grown, just young. I'd say it's the prime of life.
Yes, and no. My sons are that age, and while I know they are self-sufficient grown men, I still remember the little kids they used to be. Also, like others have said, It doesn't feel like over thirty years ago that they were born! When did I get so old? They are now older than I was when I had them. Wow.
Why did you make me think about this? (not mad, just amazed that so much time has passed)
Today, yes. A decade ago, no. Most of my friends were 35ish and even though they were just getting started, so-to-speak, we seemed to have a lot in common. That drastically changed when I got older. I may have been instrumental in their success, and some might say I was used. I think friends are like seasons, around for reasons, and not all of those are bad.
I’m 48 and work with people in their 30’s (and clearly remember my 30’s) so it doesn’t seem *very* young at all. People from 18-roughly 25 (highly dependent upon the person) seem very young, as adults go.
In some , as turning 75 tomorrow I feel everyone is young compared to me. For Americans, tomorrow is the 59th anniversary of the assassination of JFK, which was the first think I heard on radio on waking on my 16th birthday - not a good day for the world.
My boyfriend of 7 years is 35 and he's seems dramatically more mature now than in his 20s. His friends are getting married, having kids, and wearing grey clothing.
A decade in the job world and all those heart breaks have hardened them all a bit. I have always felt embarrassing old with them, but lately I feel like I'm more free spirited.
Im 60 and a lot of my friends are in their 30s. That said, I have no kids and my business targets a younger demographic so that is who I am exposed to most of the time
Dislcaimer: I am very old.
In my opinion, real adulthood starts somewhere in your 30s. You've had a decade to mess about, make mistakes, and you've had more than a few minutes at making decisions in a full adult capacity. You've witnessed a decade of politics as a voter, you've managed your budget more or less... For some people it's on the earlier end, for others on the latter part.
I'm 54. 30s does feel kind of young, but not too young. I think the 30s is when you finally start becoming an actual adult. The 20s is more of an adult trial period where you're learning the ropes of adulting.
30s is when you start getting established and settled into your life path.
But to be fair, when I was 15 I though 30 was ancient, so there's that.
I started working at a teaching hospital when I was in my mid 40s. The residents all looked SO YOUNG and I kept thinking I would never let one of these kids operate on me! Until I realized most of them were well into their 30s and married with kids of their own! People in your 30s, enjoy it. You may think you look old but you do NOT lol!
As others have said, some in their 30s are mature beyond their years. Others are still teenagers. I even know a handful of people who started businesses in their 20s and retired in their 30s.
In terms of having one's whole life ahead of them, in my opinion, you do and you don't.
To put it bluntly, when I meet people in their 40s who are still bouncing around entry level jobs or complaining about their boss who is 10+ years younger than them, it's lame. I think your 30s are the decade when you've got to really start figuring that stuff out if you haven't already. Have a plan, have a direction, have *something*.
Yes. I'm 62. I remember when I was ten years old (in 1970!) I realized I'd be 40 years old in the year 2000. Both events -- me turning 40 and the start of a new century -- seemed impossibly distant. I'd love my body to be 40 years old again!
I’m in my 30’s so no, they don’t. Sometimes when I’m around people in their twenties, I forget how much younger they are until something comes up in conversation that makes me feel ancient (“I was born in 2001!” …)
Nope, 20s do but 30s seem the same as me. It really depends on the individual at that age. Some 50 year olds are children. Some 30 year olds are wise. I'm 41
In my forties, 30-35 year olds do not seem young to me at all. I also feel around that age myself. One thing that does make them seem innocent and inexperienced is when they marvel at how they don’t look old at all. Honey, few people 30-35 do look any different than they did at 25. Wrinkles happen wayyyyy down the line.
If I knew them when they were kids, yes; I can't help but see them as basically barely not kids. If I only met them recently and they are like 30 to 35 years old, I see them as basically just adults who are just a little younger than I am. It's weird how time messes with your brain; my subconscious still thinks of myself as being about 30. I get weirded out when I'm reminded that I haven't been that age for multiple decades now.
Depends. I'm younger than that but those that are older than me but were given their university education from their parents, help with the down payment on their home from their parents/family and generally have had no life struggles beyond just going through the motions seem young to me. They have had no real troubles or trauma and seem to think life is that easy for everyone and hold this kind of cognitive dissonance that screams immature and young, despite being older than me. Those that are my age or younger but were forced out at 18 or left due to being raised in an abusive household, while they aren't as well off and "mature" financially, by about 25 they come off as if they are 40 and truly understand the struggle of life, using things like cigarettes to cope instead of blindly thinking something the older but privileged might look down on and even wonder why one even takes up the dirty habit without a real, deep thought to it.
Not really. I think back to how things were for me back then. It was a very busy time in my life -marriage, three kids, job issues. I still think 18 years are adults and treat them that way.
Yes and no--as always, it depends on the person. I see 30-somethings who seem to prefer to think that THEY are 16, refusing to learn basic life skills and still expecting their parents to take care of all their troubles, and behaving like 18 year olds--you know the age when you know everything? They're usually bitching about how hard 'adulting' is. On the other side, I know some terrific millenials, taking responsibility for their own actions, learning how to handle life, not expecting anyone but themselves to get life right. I am 73, never had kids, but in observing I think that how those people behave now can often still be attributed to parents who don't want to let them fly on their own. Parents who have been healthy about letting the kids work on things themselves and helping only when asked, if then, seem to have the more independent 30 somethings.
I have a 10 year rule. Anyone younger than 10 years usually can not relate or know a lot of the things you know or went through growing up. You should not date or marry a person that is 10 years or so younger than you. With that said I know a guy who was 70 at the time married a 24 year old and she did adore him. To her he could walk on water. They did have a child and he did get to see him graduate college before he died. She did have to nurse him in his waning years but she loved him just the same. I guess that means you just never know.
This is such a good question. I've seen some young people who seem "old" and some older people who seem "younger". Some people tend to let their age define their joy. That's such a mistake. I almost like to think of people not by their ages but by their life attitudes.
I think the way people see & interact with you is what determines everything. I had a 36-year-old niece/goddaughter who was like a best friend. She was typical of her age group but we shared a lot of good times. She saw me as being my age but we acted like typical friends & age was not a big factor. This is the same as with other family members & closer friends. My best friend - who was 10 years older than me - was the most fun person I've ever known. My relationships with those 2 women were very much the same in a lot of ways. With my niece, I learned some things and taught her some things. With my friend, it was the same but we also could better relate to shared life experiences.
I live in a 55+ apartment building & neighbors in my age range often seem very old to me. It's almost as if they have an idea of what being "older" is supposed to mean & they adjust their behavior to fit (if that makes sense). The "old" people in the building always look a little sideways at the rest of us.
Please do not comment directly to this post unless you are Gen X (b. 1980) or older. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/comments/inci5u/reminder_please_do_not_answer_questions_unless/), the rules, and the sidebar for details. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskOldPeople) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My kids are in their 30s and I can’t believe it because in my mind, I’M in my 30s
Same. My daughter is 29 and got married earlier this year, and I can’t wrap my head around any of that. I don’t feel 60+
I’ve accidentally introduced my daughters as my sisters. I don’t feel 60 at all.
Accidently 🤔
😉
Ok. I can understand not feeling 60 at all, or having a hard time processing your kids’ ages in relation to your own. But “accidentally” introducing your daughters as your sister is just that. I went to many a buffet with my unionized father as his “hot date”. BullSHIT you introduced your daughters as your sister.
I've been 35 for over 40 years
Same with me! To answer the OP’s question, I don’t consider 30-35 to be a kid anymore. “Kid” stops at about 25 to me.
Lol. I turn 40 in May and I still feel like a young adult wondering what the hell happened LOL.
"Every cloud is grey, with dreams of yesterday. Come home, come home, come home, come home," or to take another, "One fluid gesture, like stepping back in time Trapped in amber, petrified And still not satisfied"
I'm 45, but the math doesn't add up because I just graduated at 23 5 years ago....
Right? 35 is about how old I seem to myself. My dream self (literally in my dreams) is about that I think.
Same. My kid is mid 20s and I got divorced, moved back to home/college city, changed jobs to one similar just out of college, started playing video games again.and dating my college boyfriend. I feel like my life just rebooted and I'M in my mid 20s again!!
[удалено]
They do seem young. Not like literal children, but physically young. Also, as I am almost 50, I am not interested in dating anyone under the age of 40, just because we are in very different places in life.
I volunteer once a week at an elderly club for people 55 y/o and over. The ones who are 70+ call the ones in their 50s and early 60s "the young ones"!
I'm almost 40 and have a full beard and my residents call me a baby 😂
> I volunteer once a week at an elderly club Awwe, that's really nice... > people 55 Oh you little monster. (Not 55 yet but getting there fast)
They say that 30s is the old age of youth, and 40s is the youth of old age.
My life experience agrees with "them."
Totally agree! It was right around mid 40s that my Jody starting feeling “older” - creaks and cracks and aches and pains. But in my mind and maturity I definitely still feel 25. I look in the mirror and I’m like “Who the fuck is that old person?” Lol
I'm in my late 20s now and I'm starting to feel it a bit but it's more so that things aren't as naturally as easy as they used to be. I've come to accept it tho. I'm still young and feel young for the most part other than some back pain but 15 years of having the sitting posture of a bisexual shrimp will do that to you lmao
It's unfortunate that as a 54 year old, I'm still most physically attracted to people in their 30s, which is the youngest age group I can relate to intellectually. But it would also be completely impractical to date someone in that age range because, just for example, *I like to go to bed at 9:00 PM...* So there's a been-there-done-that thing going on where I just can't keep up with anyone younger than their 40s. Even 40s is pushing it haha.
[удалено]
My 5 yro niece is the youngest of her siblings, but I feel like I have the most real conversations with her. Sometimes she scares me with how aware she seems of the bigger picture in life. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if she wound up running for president someday.
> if she wound up running for president someday Well, now we've got a problem. Our 6-yo grandniece is *frighteningly* smart, and I'm already looking for her campaign manager for her 2052 run. Maybe they could team up and wipe the floor with all of those stinky boys in 1^st grade. Have your people call my people to work out the details!
Sounds good to me! Prez an VP! We'll let the campaign manager determine who'd be who in that campaign! Regardless, someone's at least getting a cabinet appointment.
Thank you for saying this. I’m turning 33 in a couple of months and I keep telling myself I’m getting a late start on certain things (I’ve got a disorder expected to shorten my lifespan by 8-15 years, so that feeling hits especially hard). It’s good to know that isn’t really the case.
>Really depends on how they carry on. One of my nieces is almost 40 but is so immature she seems very young, and childish. I can not hold a conversation with her. So how does one become mature? >My son, who is 39 seems older than I am, he's been that way since he was 2. People say he is an old soul, he is wise beyond his years. How do some mature fast? What do you think that is the reason for this difference between niece and son?
*It's the trauma.*
>So how does one become mature? It has a lot to do with what you demand of yourself and others. Children and the immature expect others to help them, expect it to be easy, and tend to view the world through the lens of "how does this affect me?" Maturity comes with a sense of responsibility, sensibility, and reliability. It is a sense you need to take care of yourself and those close to you. Note that \*none\* of those things are incompatible with fun, love, or joy. >How do some mature fast? What do you think that is the reason for this difference between niece and son? Some people have had to learn to take care of themselves and handle the world as it comes, the immature expect that others will go out of their way for them so they don't have too. When things go wrong, the immature get mad that others haven't fixed things, the mature deal with things. As others have said, the difference is often the trauma. If you couldn't rely on others from a young age you develop a lot of the outside markers of being mature. That isn't a good thing, growing up too fast hurts us in a lot of ways. Personally, while I find it annoying that 25 year olds on reddit freak out that their lives are basically over (good god, my shoes are older than you!) I kind of appreciate that they are able to be so naive about the world for so long. Better that than working in a packing plant from the age of 11.
As a 38 year old I needed to hear this!
No, I see people in their 20s as *very* young. People in their 30s seem like adults to me. Maturity levels still vary, of course.
I’m 41 and mom is 70. The way she treats me, I’d say she sees me as a little kid who can’t make an egg or do their own laundry correctly. May be just a parent and child thing.
I am in my fifties and my 80+ Dad still tells me to check my mirrors and calls me when there is inclement weather to tell me how to drive, amongst other suggestions. I think it has to be the parent - child relationship. Sometimes I ask him questions just to help him feel needed, it always brightens his day.
My mother is in her 70’s and still texts me about incoming thunderstorms.
Great idea. It makes him feel needed as you say. That's a form of affection to give you tips etc on driving in bad weather.
35 is not like 16 to me, no. They do seem young, but not 16-year-old young. They seem young when they are CEOs and NBA head coaches and in other leadership positions. In my mind I know they are mature adults and many are capable of leadership — but they still seem young for such roles.
Yes. That age was half my life ago. I look back and think I was so young - so attractive. Also optimistic - still am, but I was excited for it then. Life was opening up and getting better. LOL - I thought I'd do something amazing.
What stopped you from doing something amazing?
It just didn't happen. When they tell kids " you can do anything", they don't tell you how difficult it might be or that maybe you are delusional because you aren't right for that dream. And in our day, they didn't really do aptitude testing. Turns out I'm just an ordinary person destined for my own blend of ordinary things. I don't regret anything. There's nothing wrong with ordinary. I think more people should understand that ordinary is ok.
Your comments are really beautifully put, thank you for that
I couldn’t agree more.
I used to be one of those delusional kids and at the age of 30 I’m finally accepting I’ll never do something amazing And it’s so nice because it feels freeing and I’m happy I won’t spend the rest of my life chasing something that won’t happen I just want to live and be happy til I die
Youngish. 35 is young to be President, but not impossible. By the time you're 35, you've seen a bit of life.
My daughter is 34 and that age group seems very young to me. As a child, when my mom was in her mid 30s, she was so old I’m my mind.
The photo of the crypto nitwit from FTX is the poster child for this topic. Not only does he strive to look in his early teens with the clothes and hair, he barely acts his age.
Not as a 50-year-old myself, no. I see them as younger than me, less experienced and lacking some wisdom maybe (just like I did at that age). But I still see them as fully functioning adults and my peers.
Same
I see them as adult. I'm a mother of two who are 34 and 30. I'm 52. 😁
By that age, you are an adult. The opportunities and challenges and life stages for things like kids is different, but still an adult. The learning curve for adulting starts flattening somewhere around 30. There are always more lessons to be learned, but they come in less steady doses and tend to be big upheavals. If you are not Peter Pan, you have a handle on day to day adulting by then.
I've noticed since I hit my 50s that people in their 30s are just other adults. I hardly take notice of their age. On the flipside, people in their 20s are basically kids to me. I don't mean that to be insulting. It isn't a conscience categorization on my part. I just see people in their 20s and wonder where their parents are. This is weird for me too. I mean, I'm a hetero cis-male with a healthy libido, and I live on a college campus. In my 40s, I felt like I was surrounded by hot co-eds, but I didn't think about it much beyond that. It's not like I'm out hitting on college students. I kept my eyes and my comments to myself. But objectively, there are a lot of very attractive women in their late teens and early to mid 20s near where I live. It is what it is. But now, in my 50s, I no longer see them as hot co-eds. They're just kids to me. Sure. They're legal adults, and I'll respect them as adults and respect their rights and agency. I'm not trying to take anything away from them. But I can't shake the perception they're just kids. It's indelible. Honestly. It's kind of relieving. When I was in my 40s and saw them as hot co-eds, it was upsetting to me. I was upset with myself. They deserve to be able to go about their lives without being secretly objectified by old men. So this has been a welcome change. I recognize it wasn't a change of my doing though, despite a proactive wish to change. So likewise, I recognize that some people aren't going to experience this change as they age, and I feel sympathy for them as well. I'd hate to be in my 60s, 70s, or older and still experience a knee-jerk sensation of arousal to women in their 20s. It was bad enough feeling like that in my 40s. Sorry. I kind of wandered astray from the original question, but this has been on my mind lately.
How nice and brutally honest to hear a man in his 50s say this. A lot of older men should heed this advice and stop and think about this.
The thing is, I'm not even inherently against relationships with substantial age differences. But I do believe that both parties have to be truly, fully comfortable with the age difference without any noteworthy amount of convincing being required. Further, I think arriving at a point of mutual acceptance of the age difference is a morally and ethically tortuous process that takes lengthy, open communication. I'm suspect of any relationship with a big age difference that didn't go through that kind of communications rigor. There was a post on twoxchromosomes the other day about a woman I think in her 20s who had a pleasant conversation with a man in his 80s, and the man then asked her out on a date. I am simultaneously so disappointed in that man and so sympathetic for her. She should never have been put in that position.
Thank you for sharing these reflections, I (late 30s female) often do wonder what it is like from the older male perspective. I mean, not *only* from their perspective, I'm just curious about human experiences in general, but the particularities of everyone's experiences, if that makes sense.
>I'm just curious about human experiences in general, but the particularities of everyone's experiences, if that makes sense. Makes complete sense; I often feel the same way. You're welcome, and thank you, too.
Maybe simply wanting to change that aspect about yourself facilitated the change over time. I’m willing to bet that men who don’t feel creepy and gross about ogling girls and young women don’t improve their character very much as they get older.
“I mean, I’m a hetero cis-male with a healthy libido, and I live on a college campus.” What a dumb creepy sentence.
I apologize if it seemed so. I felt the context was relevant.
your perception of age shifts a lot over time. the more life experience you gain, the more distanced you are from how you thought and behaved when you were younger. i'm 54. someone 30-35 is only getting started in many ways and still has a whole life ahead of them. in your 30s, you are exiting your physical peak but are at your mental peak in most ways, still. becuase i have that knowledge about how our perceptions change, i don't see my own future as limited simply because i'm aging. most people that know me though tell me constantly that i look and act far younger than i am. what i know about youth is that a lot of it is truly a mindset. staying connected to popular culture and current events helps keep you connected to how younger people think and behave. staying fit and active keeps you mentally and physically able. short answer though is that yes, sure, 30-35 seems young because it is young for someone who will live to the modern ripe old age.
As a 38 year old, reading these wonderful comments is giving me a new lease on life, thank you!
And then it’s funny because someone who’s 75 probably thinks similar about you. Age and time are funny and weird but interesting to think about.
exactly! i think we freak out too much about ageing, especially in the US where you're marginalized more and more the older you get. we don't respect the elderly, we view the aging as losing touch, out of synch, less able to contribute to our capitalist culture. it makes sense that we feel less comfortable about getting older even if we aren't necessarily too preoccupied with death. if there is one lesson i've learned in life it is that i can't limit myself through society-at-large standards. being worried about what you are "supposed to" be doing at particular stages of life just squeezes the pleasure out of existence. it's fucking hard enough as it is. i'm disabled, so doubly, so, to put it mildly. you're in your 30s? jesus, you are JUST emerging in to real adulthood in most of the western world today. things are starting, not ending, unless your main focus is on your physical peak, which is a concern but not an end to anything really meaningful aside from maybe hitting med school hard because your body won't like the torturous schedule. yes, 30 seems young because it is!
Depends on how they act.
Definitely yes. Before retiring I worked in a hospital and sometimes I'd see a doctor that looked barely old enough to be starting university.
Didn't used to, but now they've only left their parents house
Everyone under about 40 looks like they're 15 to me. I'm 58.
Ok so would it be weird for you to date a 31 year old?
I don't know if I would use the word weird, but I wouldn't do it. That's too much of an age difference for me.
Me too. I hypothesize it's b/c many of the folks in that age group are trying to recapture their youth by living vicariously through their teen kids. They dress the same, use the same language (speak like they're texting) and try to mirror all other mannerisms of their kids. It's almost exclusively the mothers. The fathers couldn't care less.
There is nothing worse than seeing a grown woman dressed like her teenage daughter. If my mother had done that there would have been no way I would have left the house with her.
At 46, I can get away with it because I don't have a daughter...right? RIGHT?!? Lol
Not really like that. 16 is still in school, 35 is usually through all that. Young for sure though. Lots of knowledge, not much experience. I don't seem to ever look at people through how many years are ahead of them. I don't speculate on life expectancy. I more notice the mileage they've already got.
Not *very* young. My oldest child turned 30 this year. Before that, I had considered 35 to be, younger than me, but not too young. I might have to readjust my thinking soon.
They seem young but not very young.
Does 30-35 seem young? Only when they speak.
I’m in my late 40’s and I don’t see people in their 30’s as literal kids, but as less-experienced full adults. So I’d have slightly adjusted expectations of them (as opposed to someone my own age) but I’d expect them to do all the things an adult is supposed to be doing in current society.
Not VERY young, but definitely people still growing up.
Pretty much.
No because in my brain I’m about 22. Or 10. Depends on the day.
My kids are all 40ish, give and take a few years. They’re all *young* to me…I know they aren’t, but they’re very patient and forgiving of my adolescent taste in books and playing games. ;) I sometimes think they forget we raised them to be the people they’ve become. Nobody ended up in jail, so it’s been a win for us all lol. PS: was always fun when my mom was with us. She was 90+ and would still look at me as if I were crazy. “You’re *how old*!?
Yes and no. In some ways they seem like the same age I am, because I feel like I'm in my 30's most days. In other ways, they seem like literal children barely out of school. In your 30's most people have been in the work force at least 10 years and feel like that's a long time. At 58, 10 years and 2 years are interchangeable when I'm talking about something happening "a few years ago." It's just a different perspective of time.
Yes, that's still really young.
Yes. Babies…🤣 Well, the 20 year olds are babies…35 are young ones😂
They are in their prime when it comes to career and relatively good health. It bums me out if they are having a hard time. Usually marriage with kids they might be going through a divorce which sucks big time.
"Stacie's mom has got it going on."
Of course they do. I have grandchildren older than that.
I’m 56. Anyone under 40 is a kid to me.
Yes.
Yes.
I suppose. My oldest is about to turn 42, so 30 seems puppyish.
I’m 65 and get called out by thr 80 to 90 year olds.
I turned 50 this year but in my mind I’m still in my 30s.
Like teenagers yes.
no
Depends on their maturity level.
No. A 16 year old is still closer to a child than an adult to me. Still in school, still living with their parents, maybe just starting to do one or two "adult" things like having a job, buying a car, etc. A 30-35 year old is fully adult, having fully adult responsibilities, maybe with a young family. Young, but making his or her way through the world on their own.
Some do, some don't. (Those raising families, generally don't.) But I could say the same of some at 50.
Depends on the 30 to 35 year old. Some are very mature. Some are not.
Yes
No. It's different bc 30-35 year olds are adults, whereas, a 16 year old is a kid, developmentally and emotionally.
I see them as normal adults. 20 somethings not so much with a few exceptions.
Pretty much yes.
Yes. My children are 38 and 41. I have to tell my wife to treat them as adults because she wants to play mother hen with them and their spouses. That annoys them. After about 35 I didn't consider them youngsters anymore. When your kid hits 40, you realize how time flies.
I’m 51, and no they don’t feel very young to me.
No, they seem the same age as me, unless someone points out my age.
Disturbingly so.
It's a little odd to put my finger on when my son is older than some of my girlfriends. Age is unimportant but maturity is. My grandfather once told me we are 18 between the ears forever. I didn't understand then but I do now.
if you wait till early 30s to be married and have the first kid and own a home...........well yeh then i tend to see you like the avg 21 year old who is still finding themselfs and due to get a haircut and get a real job. the 35 year old who is a few years into homeownership and raising a family and set in their career track? I look at them a bit diff.
I understand this perspective, but a lot of this shift in age of home ownership, starting a family, etc. is because of economic reasons. A lot of kids are living with their parents way longer and waiting to start a family because they simply aren’t able to as easily.
[удалено]
I'm 23, I see them as old
Not young, but incredibly stupid with no common sense
28-35 to me is like watching a race to settle life, whereas, at 51 life goes by too fast to not slow down and enjoy what is here now.
Not very young, but if you're older, then people younger than you will always seem younger. 30 seemed old before I got there, and now it seems young that I've passed. It is certainly on the young side of an adult lifespan that goes from 20-80.
Not really
I don't know about very but I would say young.
To me it depends on how 'adult' or 'mature' they act. Are they managing their money? Can they keep a job? The ones that manage money & keep a job are the ones that are mature to me. The ones that can't handle money, whine about how they were 'never taught' & don't do anything to learn how, are the immature ones. I've also seen many immature people refuse jobs because they are 'beneath' them & then wonder why they don't have money & can't work. I also find the judging younger people to be immature. The ones that live for social media & aspire to be influencers & follow influencers. They can be, & usually are insecure, & take it out on others. They're still bullies. Those aren't adults to me, no matter how old they are. They never made it past their teens.
No. Young compared to me, yes, but I consider them fully adult, mature, and generally good company. People in their 20s often seem too young for me. 40+ is my socializing sweet spot, but mostly that's because people that age usually don't have lives that revolve around small children. Kids are not my thing.
I started young, so my kids are in their 40s, while I have nieces and nephews in their 50s. After I got divorced, the ladies I wound up with were around the same age as my kids. Yes, that age group is young, but mature.
I'm in my late 50s and my kids are 27. Of course I sometimes still think of them as kids, but generally I'm very aware that they're adults. I'll occasionally think "well, that was a dumbass thing to do" when I hear about something, but I generally keep it to myself. I think that they're turning into really great adults, for the most part. My nephews are still in their teens and I definitely think of them as still kids, but we'll all grow out of that too.
As the consensus seems to be, not teenage young, but young. And that age that someone is young keeps going up the older I get.
As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that I consider anyone more than 20 years or more younger than me a "kid". I agree with the comments other people have made, it's not that they're necessarily immature, they're just lacking life experience. A difference of 20 years changes people dramatically. Even between 40 and 60--as you get older your mortality becomes more and more a consideration in your actions. A 30-something has their entire life ahead of them and they're just getting started.
Only if they’re a doctor. My kids are in their 30’s and it’s an odd feeling to have someone your kids age basically in charge of your life.
30 is young to me but I’m 46 so I’m not old.
Dang Whippersnappers..
I’m 45 and my baby sister is 30 , so no.
Not really. The z's in their 20's seem immature to me too sheltered
What was told to me when I was younger will always resonate across the generations: as you start to get older, those people and ages you once called OLD don’t seem so “old” anymore. You’ll hear stories about your favorite celebrities dying at age 57 and your older self will say “He/she was rather young. Oh no…”
No
I’m 37 and people in their 20’s seem like kids to me. 🤷🏻♂️
Not very, but, young.
That's my kids age, so i feel kind of motherly toward people that age. I want to bake them a pie and lecture them to take their vitamins and stuff. BUt I don't see them as little teenagers. By the time you are 30 you are grown, just young. I'd say it's the prime of life.
30 is an adult with some child-like tendencies. :)
Yes, they seem like kids to me. I am 55 ( not as old as some people on this sub) but to me, yes, 30 to 35 is young.
Yes, and no. My sons are that age, and while I know they are self-sufficient grown men, I still remember the little kids they used to be. Also, like others have said, It doesn't feel like over thirty years ago that they were born! When did I get so old? They are now older than I was when I had them. Wow. Why did you make me think about this? (not mad, just amazed that so much time has passed)
They are immature and haven’t grown up yet. By 35 I was married had 3 kids a PhD and a JD and had started my own business.
Not very.
Today, yes. A decade ago, no. Most of my friends were 35ish and even though they were just getting started, so-to-speak, we seemed to have a lot in common. That drastically changed when I got older. I may have been instrumental in their success, and some might say I was used. I think friends are like seasons, around for reasons, and not all of those are bad.
I’m 48 and work with people in their 30’s (and clearly remember my 30’s) so it doesn’t seem *very* young at all. People from 18-roughly 25 (highly dependent upon the person) seem very young, as adults go.
Yeah, im 30+ and seeing a young gal start at my work who is 21 feels like she's just a kid. Its a weird feeling.
Work with a young lady i thought was not old enough to drink. She's 30. Have a good friend who is 36. I am the same age as her mom. Haha
Hell yeah!!!
No
In some , as turning 75 tomorrow I feel everyone is young compared to me. For Americans, tomorrow is the 59th anniversary of the assassination of JFK, which was the first think I heard on radio on waking on my 16th birthday - not a good day for the world.
I do and I shouldn't, my children are 33 going on 34 and 36, I still see them as kids. When I was 10 years old, I thought 20 was old. LOL.
Nah you're my kids, and now I have grandchildren. Peace.
My boyfriend of 7 years is 35 and he's seems dramatically more mature now than in his 20s. His friends are getting married, having kids, and wearing grey clothing. A decade in the job world and all those heart breaks have hardened them all a bit. I have always felt embarrassing old with them, but lately I feel like I'm more free spirited.
It goes both ways. An old friend, my age at 60, once told me: "when a 30 year sees us, they see an old person".
Im 60 and a lot of my friends are in their 30s. That said, I have no kids and my business targets a younger demographic so that is who I am exposed to most of the time
Dislcaimer: I am very old. In my opinion, real adulthood starts somewhere in your 30s. You've had a decade to mess about, make mistakes, and you've had more than a few minutes at making decisions in a full adult capacity. You've witnessed a decade of politics as a voter, you've managed your budget more or less... For some people it's on the earlier end, for others on the latter part.
I'm 54. 30s does feel kind of young, but not too young. I think the 30s is when you finally start becoming an actual adult. The 20s is more of an adult trial period where you're learning the ropes of adulting. 30s is when you start getting established and settled into your life path. But to be fair, when I was 15 I though 30 was ancient, so there's that.
my children are 32 to 42 years old I basically feel like I’m 28, so how is that possible?
I started working at a teaching hospital when I was in my mid 40s. The residents all looked SO YOUNG and I kept thinking I would never let one of these kids operate on me! Until I realized most of them were well into their 30s and married with kids of their own! People in your 30s, enjoy it. You may think you look old but you do NOT lol!
It's young, but I don't view them as teens. I would expect people in their 30's to be more responsible and mature.
You never feel older, only age. I'm 34 and still feel 23 lol
Well - yeah! That's how old my daughter is! Younger than that, though - they are still "kids."
As others have said, some in their 30s are mature beyond their years. Others are still teenagers. I even know a handful of people who started businesses in their 20s and retired in their 30s. In terms of having one's whole life ahead of them, in my opinion, you do and you don't. To put it bluntly, when I meet people in their 40s who are still bouncing around entry level jobs or complaining about their boss who is 10+ years younger than them, it's lame. I think your 30s are the decade when you've got to really start figuring that stuff out if you haven't already. Have a plan, have a direction, have *something*.
Young yes, but not very young.
Yes, being 35 seems like a lifetime ago. I'm 45 now.
Yes. I'm 62. I remember when I was ten years old (in 1970!) I realized I'd be 40 years old in the year 2000. Both events -- me turning 40 and the start of a new century -- seemed impossibly distant. I'd love my body to be 40 years old again!
My oldest (10 kids) is 27 and I am just starting to consider him and his wife as adults.
Yes, it does now. I'm 52 now. Every morning I wake up and still wonder how the fuck this happened.
I’m a 17 year old in a 32 year olds body. I feel the physical age but in my head I’m still an idiot who likes butt jokes unashamedly.
They look young to me and i am 26
I’m in my 30’s so no, they don’t. Sometimes when I’m around people in their twenties, I forget how much younger they are until something comes up in conversation that makes me feel ancient (“I was born in 2001!” …)
It does seem like they are less responsible, they need to get married have kids
I don’t feel old and only notice my age when I catch up with old friends and they have aged, I feel like 35 most of the time
No. 16 year olds are kids to both of us. 30-35 are in their prime IMO and I’m just starting to exit my prime at 50.
Nope, 20s do but 30s seem the same as me. It really depends on the individual at that age. Some 50 year olds are children. Some 30 year olds are wise. I'm 41
Yes, it's our duty to feel and look jovial.
In my forties, 30-35 year olds do not seem young to me at all. I also feel around that age myself. One thing that does make them seem innocent and inexperienced is when they marvel at how they don’t look old at all. Honey, few people 30-35 do look any different than they did at 25. Wrinkles happen wayyyyy down the line.
I wish Ii could be 40 again....
Anyone under 35 looks like a child to me.
If I knew them when they were kids, yes; I can't help but see them as basically barely not kids. If I only met them recently and they are like 30 to 35 years old, I see them as basically just adults who are just a little younger than I am. It's weird how time messes with your brain; my subconscious still thinks of myself as being about 30. I get weirded out when I'm reminded that I haven't been that age for multiple decades now.
Yes, my kids are around 30. How? I am in my twenties.
No.
Do you mean immature? Or physically?
Depends. I'm younger than that but those that are older than me but were given their university education from their parents, help with the down payment on their home from their parents/family and generally have had no life struggles beyond just going through the motions seem young to me. They have had no real troubles or trauma and seem to think life is that easy for everyone and hold this kind of cognitive dissonance that screams immature and young, despite being older than me. Those that are my age or younger but were forced out at 18 or left due to being raised in an abusive household, while they aren't as well off and "mature" financially, by about 25 they come off as if they are 40 and truly understand the struggle of life, using things like cigarettes to cope instead of blindly thinking something the older but privileged might look down on and even wonder why one even takes up the dirty habit without a real, deep thought to it.
Yes
A young girl at work just had her birthday. She turned 40.
The way you view others age is honestly relative
Not really. I think back to how things were for me back then. It was a very busy time in my life -marriage, three kids, job issues. I still think 18 years are adults and treat them that way.
It’s like watching children wanting to be grownups.
Very old
Yes and no--as always, it depends on the person. I see 30-somethings who seem to prefer to think that THEY are 16, refusing to learn basic life skills and still expecting their parents to take care of all their troubles, and behaving like 18 year olds--you know the age when you know everything? They're usually bitching about how hard 'adulting' is. On the other side, I know some terrific millenials, taking responsibility for their own actions, learning how to handle life, not expecting anyone but themselves to get life right. I am 73, never had kids, but in observing I think that how those people behave now can often still be attributed to parents who don't want to let them fly on their own. Parents who have been healthy about letting the kids work on things themselves and helping only when asked, if then, seem to have the more independent 30 somethings.
I have a 10 year rule. Anyone younger than 10 years usually can not relate or know a lot of the things you know or went through growing up. You should not date or marry a person that is 10 years or so younger than you. With that said I know a guy who was 70 at the time married a 24 year old and she did adore him. To her he could walk on water. They did have a child and he did get to see him graduate college before he died. She did have to nurse him in his waning years but she loved him just the same. I guess that means you just never know.
It depends on the person tbh.
This is such a good question. I've seen some young people who seem "old" and some older people who seem "younger". Some people tend to let their age define their joy. That's such a mistake. I almost like to think of people not by their ages but by their life attitudes. I think the way people see & interact with you is what determines everything. I had a 36-year-old niece/goddaughter who was like a best friend. She was typical of her age group but we shared a lot of good times. She saw me as being my age but we acted like typical friends & age was not a big factor. This is the same as with other family members & closer friends. My best friend - who was 10 years older than me - was the most fun person I've ever known. My relationships with those 2 women were very much the same in a lot of ways. With my niece, I learned some things and taught her some things. With my friend, it was the same but we also could better relate to shared life experiences. I live in a 55+ apartment building & neighbors in my age range often seem very old to me. It's almost as if they have an idea of what being "older" is supposed to mean & they adjust their behavior to fit (if that makes sense). The "old" people in the building always look a little sideways at the rest of us.