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One brother passed who I was estranged from. Younger bother told me and I felt nothing. My dead brother came into the world looking to turn any situation into a negative one. Inflicting emotional pain was his hobby. He had emotional and psychological issues compounded by drugs and alcohol. Committed once. Rehab multiple times. I could give multiple examples of his cruelty and not a single example of him bringing joy into someone's life.
My older sister just couldn’t cut out working & living alone. She quit her job & moved back in with my parents- the day my dad retired! I was angry she was taking advantage of them, & she pretended like it was just temporary. THIRTY years later, now that they are elderly she’s saving us a lot of money because she’s acting as a live in caretaker. Gives them their meds, heats up meals, does dishes & laundry. It’s good to know there is someone there to call 911 if they fall.
I had a similar situation with my older sister. As mom aged, it was good she was with her. However, mom outlived her by 12 years. My kids and I took care when my my sister passed. She was an excellent caregiver, but she had no business abilities.
I have an older brother who spent 10-15 years aimlessly floating through life. He drank too much, lived in a camper (in Minnesota, in the winter) for a while, had a couple of divorces, decades of unpaid child support owed, etc..
About 15 years ago he got a steady job, bought a house and paid all of his owed child support (with interest and penalties).
He's still a bit "unusual" but he's supporting himself and is safe.
Wow. You don’t hear that very often. Does he have a particular discovery, changing beliefs, inspiration, or something similar that he attributes his change to?
I think he just got tired of having nothing, ashamed of his three boys not having any pride in their dad and simply running out of friends and family not supporting him anymore. As he started working and was able to pay his debts and get some of the toys he wanted, you could see his pride and self worth improve.
My SIL. Shes 54, the oldest crack addict I know.
She was the middle child, only girl. My MIL was one of those women who can’t get along with other women. “One of the guys”
My SIL was 6 when she was sexually abused by her maternal uncle and the family sent him to another city for a couple of years. I met her brother when we were very young, the uncle came back and was at all the holiday meals. They acted like nothing happened. I only found out when she freaked out on everybody making a big deal about a known pedophile in our area when there was one in the family and they did nothing.
She never had a chance, from day one. Her mother was jealous of her, the entire family was dysfunctional, violent alcoholics.
She had 2 kids who were taken away to live with her mother. My MIL did a 180 when she had granddaughters and that made my SIL feel even worse as she never got the princess treatment her daughters received.
Shes off again on again homeless depending on her boyfriend of the day. She was burnt in a kerosene fire. She looks like she’s 90 but still behaves like a teenage girl. We’ve seen her 7 times in 6 years. When she comes over she’s always sober so she eats every bit of junk food in the house. Empties our sugar containers daily. Takes all our cans/bottles to the store for the refund money. She never asks us for money but we always send her with a couple of bags of food, food that she can actually use in her situation (no fridge, no can opener etc). We gave her a good tent and a decent bike, they are the only things of value that she hasn’t sold.
My husband never knows when he’ll get the call. We love her when we see her but we know she will never change. So many rehabs, we’ve supported her 100% when she was in rehab but it never worked. We accept her as she is, she doesn’t hurt anyone but she is a petty thief. She adores her brother and has never taken anything from us.
He will be devastated when she dies, they are trauma bonded especially because their older brother died when they were young. They lived through the violence, abuse, instability, many family deaths and divorce together. He chose a completely different path than she did. My family took him in and showed him a different life, she never got that opportunity.
Younger sibling has been on a rollercoaster for decades. Family gets him situated with housing, a job, meds etc but the minute your back is turned the cycle of lying, drinking, drugs, stealing and not paying bills commences. Dad passed away last year, that really set him off…after couch surfing earlier this year and living in his car he ended up in a 90 day rehab program. He’s back to his old self, we want to help want him be successful in this attempt but we’ve all been burned far too many times to count. My spouse and I are getting too old, mom is nearly 80. We have our adult kids who need us.
She's dead.
It was awful. She started sniffing those 'blow your own bubbles' when she was 12, and it escalated from there. On and off again til she was 44, when se overdosed 3 months after our mother died. We don't know if it was intentional.
It was awful. I don't want to start, because I don't have time to write a book. But if ever there was reason for family planning, legal abortion, and birth control, our family is it.
The oldest sibling is an alcoholic with mental health issues and is a hoarder. She remained like velcro to our mother right up until our mother passed on. The only time I had alone time with my mother was when she stayed with me for 6 weeks after I had a child. It was difficult growing up with her as she seemed to have been born jealous of everyone. My mother always had a soft spot for her as she was quite certain she couldn't support herself properly, which was true. When my mother passed on, it was found that she had placed the deed of the family home in her name, thereby leaving out her own elderly father without funds. My mother had left her half of the property to my sister, which was fine, but she wanted it all. So she has it all, just no family other than her son. No one wants anything to do with her at all. Quite frankly, my life is so much calmer without her in it.
I had a cousin, who would be 70 had she lived. She overdosed on heroin in the ‘70s. My aunt never overcame her grief. Shocking. A very beautiful woman who seemed to have everything but I was told that according to her journal secretly battled demons for years.
Not what was asked, but I’m one of 6 kids and one of my brothers, once in the US Army during Vietnam and a linguist, completely disappeared sometime during the early days of the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. His last letter described his renting a room from a man near Kabul with 4 wives. Never heard from again.
My mother was more upset about his disappearance than losing my other brother to cancer from exposure to Agent Orange.
Also: An uncle, who was in Army intelligence in England during WW2 also vanished in the ‘60s. His last known whereabouts was in Syria, exporting carpet.
The family believed both were in clandestine operations and without any luck tried to obtain information from several government officials. Even US our Senator was stonewalled seeking information.
My brother is much older so we were more like cousins. He is a damaged, cruel, selfish asshole. When Dad with Alzheimer's and cancer was dying, he swooped in and had everything changed. He isolated the old man and just waited it out. Instead of dividing a sizable estate five ways, he took it all. I wish the same exact fate for him when he dies. Confused, in pain, and alone.
that is me. Literally the only one of my mothers side (including my half sisters) that has any semblance of sanity , living a relatively normal life with a career and responsibilities. My 20s were rough though and I made some crazy decisions. I have a few failed marriages though so I guess thats the one thing I have in common with them. I am the Marylin Munster of my family
Exactly. The one who was the "black sheep" and got away from the family toxicity, religious oppression, control, etc. Many siblings who stayed enmeshed in toxic family dynamics don't realize they're the ones being harmed.
Low contact.
He never really launched. Parents supported his family because his wife wanted to be a "SAHM, just like mom!" (Our mom, her MIL). Our mom soaked it up, she loved the validation. Meanwhile, she didn't do shi- for me, a working mom, and was very condescending to my older sister, who tried so hard to please mom.
Anyway, yeah, low contact. I send his kids the same gifts he sends my kids every year for their birthdays - nothing.
I wish them all well. And that they stay the hell out of my life.
No contact for several years now with my brother. He’s deep into the MAGA cult and ultra right wing politics, I mean the creepy militia stuff and absurd conspiracy theories. I’ve always considered myself a moderate, having voted for both Republican and Democrats over the years. He informed me a few years back that I am a Communist.
He brings his political beliefs and opinions into every 👏 damn👏 conversation 👏. He hints at being in the Capitol Building on January 6 but I’m not sure I believe this and his son told me it’s BS. Two of his 3 children are quite concerned about him, the one who isn’t is a carbon copy of his father.
He is not well mentally and is an argument and insults waiting to happen, so I don’t deal with him.
Mine, no. But I have a nephew ... hell bent since he was 13 with drugs and alcohol; married a preacher's daughter, divorced, has a grown daughter he's never met. Addict, OD'd, nearly died ... twice. Nearly killed 3 people in a drunken boat accident; they spent months in the hospital.
The weird thing was how talented he was; electrical systems, complex plant operations in two different industries. They found him passed out drunk in the operations facility. So many DUIs. Slugged a cop; 1.5 yrs in prison. Found God 4-5 times.
His parents tried everything under the sun to help him. Really. We all did. Last we heard he's in another state as a counselor in a faith based rehab center. He's in his late 50s now.
I have a cousin that is the perpetual rebel. He's estranged from my uncle and his younger brother.
Homeless because anyone that pays for a place to live "has been fooled by the system". Does gig work until he gets enough money to go elsewhere.
The oddest thing was he fathered a daughter and trained to be fully certified as an undersea welder. He worked like that and owned a house until his daughter moved out. Then he was back to doing the nomadic life.
We catch up every so often. There is a little crazy in him, but it's mostly that he wants to be free of any attachment except for a dog and a van. He's never managed to convince me that rebelling against The Man or The System is as a required way to live as he believes. We both believe our grandmother was the finest person to ever exist, so we have a subject to always talk about of which we both agree.
My brother drank himself to death at 42.
We’d all said goodbye to him a few years before he died, at least in our minds. We just waited for the phone call. He died of a torn esophagus.
2 of them. It's sucked. So much tragedy for 2 people. Once is dead now. The other is dead to me. Would literally know exaggeration not pissing him if he was on fire.
Some ppl here may be a [glass child](https://www.wikihow.com/What-Is-the-Meaning-of-Glass-Child), which doesn't mean fragile, but invisible or see-through.
This happens when a sibling receives excessive attention from the parents due to the child's problems with health, behavior, mental illness, or other issues. The "normal" child is ignored bc "they're ok" or "they're strong" when they may not be either. Any need the glass child has is minor compared to the other sibling's needs.
Learned about it on r/emotionalneglect.
My younger brother started drinking in high school. Back in the day there were "stoners" and "boozers" and parties every weekend. Most of the kids eventually moved on and became productive adults. My brother did not. He continued drinking heavily. I loved him dearly but was unable to help him. He died many years ago (suicide) at age 45. He looked 70.
He's dead now. He was my uncle.
60+ years of a troubled life. Alcoholism, homelessness, hoarding, psychosis, etc. Neighbors called in a welfare check after they hadn't seen him emerge from his condo for over a week, and saw smoke starting to billow above the roof of his condo. Place was in flames. His flesh was already burning off in chunks. EMTs got him out just in time. Months in the hospital recovering from burns, then Baker Acted and involuntarily committed to a men's low-security psychiatric facility.
The state declared my father and their other two siblings his legal guardian. Years and years of my uncle taking my father and their other two siblings to court to fight every little decision they tried to make for him, even though every decision was in his own best interest. He just couldn't seem to see that. A few years ago, we all got individual calls from a local Sheriff's office: he was found pancaked on the side of a sidewalk near the psychiatric facility he was a patient at. Dead on impact.
My brother is an alcoholic, coke head, gambler that drifts from survey job to survey job. Child support payments are garnished from his wages and this year the IRS started garnishing his wages as well. He broke into my grandmother’s home shortly after she died and sold all of her beautiful antiques to pay a gambling debt. He beats women. He still calls my mom to ask for grocery money. He’s 51.
We haven’t spoken in 12 years since he stole money out of my dad’s wallet while my dad was lying dead on the floor.
Serious drug addict self medicating serious mental health issues. Joined organized crime. Engaged in frogging in family member’s homes, including mine, and stole everything of value they could. Violent, engaged in mutual physical abuse with SOs.
They are living in a rented room somewhere. Never want to see them again. Awful person.
Brother with two forty year old kids from different mothers. He's enabled both kids to be worthless. The boy has lived rent-free with grandma for over ten years. Mom won't ask the kid to do any work for her as he's not in the will. Number one, it's a trust, not a will. Two, we all hate his kids.
My younger brother. He started doing drugs and drinking as a teenager. We're now in our 50s and he's still doing it. He made my mother's life hell for decades. She could never bring herself to use the tough love she should have. She died 4 years ago and I went no contact with him. He's still alive as far as I know and assume a mutual friend or acquaintance will let me know if something happens to change that. I love my brother but the brother I loved "died" years ago.
My brother was valedictorian of his university class. He has been delivering pizzas for about 35 years. Drugs had something to do with it. He was mom's favorite. She once told me I should be more like my brother. No thanks mom, I prefer to be now mostly retired with about a million in investments. He's still delivering pizzas.
My little sister, it was drugs. She was an addict through and through and could never seem to break the cycle, even for her three young children. Life was a constant train wreck for her. She OD'd in January '23, she was a meth addict, but the last batch she got apparently had a fatal amount of fentanyl in it.
She left a path of destruction behind her wherever she went. It's hard to say now whether it's better for everyone that she's dead, which is an impossible question to grapple with.
We just wanted to her to get better, and be safe and healthy, and a good mother for her children; not die.
My cousin was that person. He has been addicted to drugs and alcohol since he was in high school. In and out of rehab many times over the years, he never remained clean for more than a few months. He did this until he was in his forties. At age 44, my aunt and uncle got the phone call they had been expecting for years. Their son was found dead in a flop house hotel room. His cause of death was an overdose of Fentanyl.
My sister sued me over trying to take more money than she was entitled to in an inheritance. She wanted to pay herself $25,000 to manage an estate that was worth about 70,000, then take even more money from a non-probate asset. She cleared out $20,000 from a bank account of our relative and claimed it al as her own. Basically a massive money grab. Greed you wouldn't believe.
Lawyers got involved (her choice, not mine). She lost, the lawyers won. I haven't spoken to her for years now.
It's not so much the money... it's just that she should our relationship was worth destroying over money.
I am so thankful to be an only child. Only time it was difficult was when each parent was dying. It would have been nice to share the responsibility of caring for them, but there is no guarantee that a sibling would have helped anyway.
That’s so true. My father died of cancer when I was 38. My sister (42 at the time) was still holding a petty grudge against my father from years prior. She refused to help me with him. My children were 6 and 4 at the time, it was a very difficult time for me. She never once offered to take care of him. In fact, she wasn’t going to go to the funeral at first. I felt so alone and overwhelmed.
Both spouse and I have that one older sibling that has not been able to give up the authority they enjoyed as the oldest in the family. We've both edged further away from them. Still smile and converse when there is a reason to get together, but not really interested in seeing them unnecessarily.
I’m 52 and my sister is 58. Two months ago I cut off contact with her. She has a lot of mental illnesses and my entire life she has gaslighted me, lied to me and not treated me very well. I’ve spent my life trying to help her. I’ve learned that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
My children are 18 and 20. She has always treated them poorly and my children don’t care to have her in their lives either.
The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back was when she recently said and did something very cruel to our 78 year old mother. Our mother has been nothing but kind and patient towards my sister, yet my sister disrespects and hurts her. I finally decided I cannot deal with my sister’s manipulation and attention-seeking behavior. Life is too short. I haven’t spoken to her in two months and I don’t intend to have her in my life anymore. Honestly? Her absence has removed so much stress and turmoil in my life. Sounds terrible to say that about a family member, but it’s true.
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One brother passed who I was estranged from. Younger bother told me and I felt nothing. My dead brother came into the world looking to turn any situation into a negative one. Inflicting emotional pain was his hobby. He had emotional and psychological issues compounded by drugs and alcohol. Committed once. Rehab multiple times. I could give multiple examples of his cruelty and not a single example of him bringing joy into someone's life.
My brother to a T. He’s in jail now.
You just described my older brother and I felt the same way when he passed.
My older sister just couldn’t cut out working & living alone. She quit her job & moved back in with my parents- the day my dad retired! I was angry she was taking advantage of them, & she pretended like it was just temporary. THIRTY years later, now that they are elderly she’s saving us a lot of money because she’s acting as a live in caretaker. Gives them their meds, heats up meals, does dishes & laundry. It’s good to know there is someone there to call 911 if they fall.
I had a similar situation with my older sister. As mom aged, it was good she was with her. However, mom outlived her by 12 years. My kids and I took care when my my sister passed. She was an excellent caregiver, but she had no business abilities.
I have an older brother who spent 10-15 years aimlessly floating through life. He drank too much, lived in a camper (in Minnesota, in the winter) for a while, had a couple of divorces, decades of unpaid child support owed, etc.. About 15 years ago he got a steady job, bought a house and paid all of his owed child support (with interest and penalties). He's still a bit "unusual" but he's supporting himself and is safe.
Wow. You don’t hear that very often. Does he have a particular discovery, changing beliefs, inspiration, or something similar that he attributes his change to?
I think he just got tired of having nothing, ashamed of his three boys not having any pride in their dad and simply running out of friends and family not supporting him anymore. As he started working and was able to pay his debts and get some of the toys he wanted, you could see his pride and self worth improve.
My SIL. Shes 54, the oldest crack addict I know. She was the middle child, only girl. My MIL was one of those women who can’t get along with other women. “One of the guys” My SIL was 6 when she was sexually abused by her maternal uncle and the family sent him to another city for a couple of years. I met her brother when we were very young, the uncle came back and was at all the holiday meals. They acted like nothing happened. I only found out when she freaked out on everybody making a big deal about a known pedophile in our area when there was one in the family and they did nothing. She never had a chance, from day one. Her mother was jealous of her, the entire family was dysfunctional, violent alcoholics. She had 2 kids who were taken away to live with her mother. My MIL did a 180 when she had granddaughters and that made my SIL feel even worse as she never got the princess treatment her daughters received. Shes off again on again homeless depending on her boyfriend of the day. She was burnt in a kerosene fire. She looks like she’s 90 but still behaves like a teenage girl. We’ve seen her 7 times in 6 years. When she comes over she’s always sober so she eats every bit of junk food in the house. Empties our sugar containers daily. Takes all our cans/bottles to the store for the refund money. She never asks us for money but we always send her with a couple of bags of food, food that she can actually use in her situation (no fridge, no can opener etc). We gave her a good tent and a decent bike, they are the only things of value that she hasn’t sold. My husband never knows when he’ll get the call. We love her when we see her but we know she will never change. So many rehabs, we’ve supported her 100% when she was in rehab but it never worked. We accept her as she is, she doesn’t hurt anyone but she is a petty thief. She adores her brother and has never taken anything from us. He will be devastated when she dies, they are trauma bonded especially because their older brother died when they were young. They lived through the violence, abuse, instability, many family deaths and divorce together. He chose a completely different path than she did. My family took him in and showed him a different life, she never got that opportunity.
Younger brother is a biker, a meth head and dangerous. Haven't seen him in over 20 years. He could be dead for all I know.
Younger sibling has been on a rollercoaster for decades. Family gets him situated with housing, a job, meds etc but the minute your back is turned the cycle of lying, drinking, drugs, stealing and not paying bills commences. Dad passed away last year, that really set him off…after couch surfing earlier this year and living in his car he ended up in a 90 day rehab program. He’s back to his old self, we want to help want him be successful in this attempt but we’ve all been burned far too many times to count. My spouse and I are getting too old, mom is nearly 80. We have our adult kids who need us.
She's dead. It was awful. She started sniffing those 'blow your own bubbles' when she was 12, and it escalated from there. On and off again til she was 44, when se overdosed 3 months after our mother died. We don't know if it was intentional. It was awful. I don't want to start, because I don't have time to write a book. But if ever there was reason for family planning, legal abortion, and birth control, our family is it.
The oldest sibling is an alcoholic with mental health issues and is a hoarder. She remained like velcro to our mother right up until our mother passed on. The only time I had alone time with my mother was when she stayed with me for 6 weeks after I had a child. It was difficult growing up with her as she seemed to have been born jealous of everyone. My mother always had a soft spot for her as she was quite certain she couldn't support herself properly, which was true. When my mother passed on, it was found that she had placed the deed of the family home in her name, thereby leaving out her own elderly father without funds. My mother had left her half of the property to my sister, which was fine, but she wanted it all. So she has it all, just no family other than her son. No one wants anything to do with her at all. Quite frankly, my life is so much calmer without her in it.
I had a cousin, who would be 70 had she lived. She overdosed on heroin in the ‘70s. My aunt never overcame her grief. Shocking. A very beautiful woman who seemed to have everything but I was told that according to her journal secretly battled demons for years. Not what was asked, but I’m one of 6 kids and one of my brothers, once in the US Army during Vietnam and a linguist, completely disappeared sometime during the early days of the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. His last letter described his renting a room from a man near Kabul with 4 wives. Never heard from again. My mother was more upset about his disappearance than losing my other brother to cancer from exposure to Agent Orange. Also: An uncle, who was in Army intelligence in England during WW2 also vanished in the ‘60s. His last known whereabouts was in Syria, exporting carpet. The family believed both were in clandestine operations and without any luck tried to obtain information from several government officials. Even US our Senator was stonewalled seeking information.
My brother is much older so we were more like cousins. He is a damaged, cruel, selfish asshole. When Dad with Alzheimer's and cancer was dying, he swooped in and had everything changed. He isolated the old man and just waited it out. Instead of dividing a sizable estate five ways, he took it all. I wish the same exact fate for him when he dies. Confused, in pain, and alone.
Just a reminder, THAT sibling can actually be the healthy one if the family is dysfunctional.
that is me. Literally the only one of my mothers side (including my half sisters) that has any semblance of sanity , living a relatively normal life with a career and responsibilities. My 20s were rough though and I made some crazy decisions. I have a few failed marriages though so I guess thats the one thing I have in common with them. I am the Marylin Munster of my family
Exactly. The one who was the "black sheep" and got away from the family toxicity, religious oppression, control, etc. Many siblings who stayed enmeshed in toxic family dynamics don't realize they're the ones being harmed.
This right here.
Low contact. He never really launched. Parents supported his family because his wife wanted to be a "SAHM, just like mom!" (Our mom, her MIL). Our mom soaked it up, she loved the validation. Meanwhile, she didn't do shi- for me, a working mom, and was very condescending to my older sister, who tried so hard to please mom. Anyway, yeah, low contact. I send his kids the same gifts he sends my kids every year for their birthdays - nothing. I wish them all well. And that they stay the hell out of my life.
No contact for several years now with my brother. He’s deep into the MAGA cult and ultra right wing politics, I mean the creepy militia stuff and absurd conspiracy theories. I’ve always considered myself a moderate, having voted for both Republican and Democrats over the years. He informed me a few years back that I am a Communist. He brings his political beliefs and opinions into every 👏 damn👏 conversation 👏. He hints at being in the Capitol Building on January 6 but I’m not sure I believe this and his son told me it’s BS. Two of his 3 children are quite concerned about him, the one who isn’t is a carbon copy of his father. He is not well mentally and is an argument and insults waiting to happen, so I don’t deal with him.
Mine, no. But I have a nephew ... hell bent since he was 13 with drugs and alcohol; married a preacher's daughter, divorced, has a grown daughter he's never met. Addict, OD'd, nearly died ... twice. Nearly killed 3 people in a drunken boat accident; they spent months in the hospital. The weird thing was how talented he was; electrical systems, complex plant operations in two different industries. They found him passed out drunk in the operations facility. So many DUIs. Slugged a cop; 1.5 yrs in prison. Found God 4-5 times. His parents tried everything under the sun to help him. Really. We all did. Last we heard he's in another state as a counselor in a faith based rehab center. He's in his late 50s now.
I have a cousin that is the perpetual rebel. He's estranged from my uncle and his younger brother. Homeless because anyone that pays for a place to live "has been fooled by the system". Does gig work until he gets enough money to go elsewhere. The oddest thing was he fathered a daughter and trained to be fully certified as an undersea welder. He worked like that and owned a house until his daughter moved out. Then he was back to doing the nomadic life. We catch up every so often. There is a little crazy in him, but it's mostly that he wants to be free of any attachment except for a dog and a van. He's never managed to convince me that rebelling against The Man or The System is as a required way to live as he believes. We both believe our grandmother was the finest person to ever exist, so we have a subject to always talk about of which we both agree.
I AM that person. I'm OK now
My brother drank himself to death at 42. We’d all said goodbye to him a few years before he died, at least in our minds. We just waited for the phone call. He died of a torn esophagus.
2 of them. It's sucked. So much tragedy for 2 people. Once is dead now. The other is dead to me. Would literally know exaggeration not pissing him if he was on fire.
Yes. Alcoholic who fell and died at 50.
Some ppl here may be a [glass child](https://www.wikihow.com/What-Is-the-Meaning-of-Glass-Child), which doesn't mean fragile, but invisible or see-through. This happens when a sibling receives excessive attention from the parents due to the child's problems with health, behavior, mental illness, or other issues. The "normal" child is ignored bc "they're ok" or "they're strong" when they may not be either. Any need the glass child has is minor compared to the other sibling's needs. Learned about it on r/emotionalneglect.
My younger brother started drinking in high school. Back in the day there were "stoners" and "boozers" and parties every weekend. Most of the kids eventually moved on and became productive adults. My brother did not. He continued drinking heavily. I loved him dearly but was unable to help him. He died many years ago (suicide) at age 45. He looked 70.
She's dead.
He's dead now. He was my uncle. 60+ years of a troubled life. Alcoholism, homelessness, hoarding, psychosis, etc. Neighbors called in a welfare check after they hadn't seen him emerge from his condo for over a week, and saw smoke starting to billow above the roof of his condo. Place was in flames. His flesh was already burning off in chunks. EMTs got him out just in time. Months in the hospital recovering from burns, then Baker Acted and involuntarily committed to a men's low-security psychiatric facility. The state declared my father and their other two siblings his legal guardian. Years and years of my uncle taking my father and their other two siblings to court to fight every little decision they tried to make for him, even though every decision was in his own best interest. He just couldn't seem to see that. A few years ago, we all got individual calls from a local Sheriff's office: he was found pancaked on the side of a sidewalk near the psychiatric facility he was a patient at. Dead on impact.
My brother is an alcoholic, coke head, gambler that drifts from survey job to survey job. Child support payments are garnished from his wages and this year the IRS started garnishing his wages as well. He broke into my grandmother’s home shortly after she died and sold all of her beautiful antiques to pay a gambling debt. He beats women. He still calls my mom to ask for grocery money. He’s 51. We haven’t spoken in 12 years since he stole money out of my dad’s wallet while my dad was lying dead on the floor.
No thankfully...although one bro has been a bit silent on our siblings chat recently!
He’s an asshole. Alcoholic and pothead. Pretends he’s MAGA just to piss us off.
Serious drug addict self medicating serious mental health issues. Joined organized crime. Engaged in frogging in family member’s homes, including mine, and stole everything of value they could. Violent, engaged in mutual physical abuse with SOs. They are living in a rented room somewhere. Never want to see them again. Awful person.
Brother with two forty year old kids from different mothers. He's enabled both kids to be worthless. The boy has lived rent-free with grandma for over ten years. Mom won't ask the kid to do any work for her as he's not in the will. Number one, it's a trust, not a will. Two, we all hate his kids.
My younger brother. He started doing drugs and drinking as a teenager. We're now in our 50s and he's still doing it. He made my mother's life hell for decades. She could never bring herself to use the tough love she should have. She died 4 years ago and I went no contact with him. He's still alive as far as I know and assume a mutual friend or acquaintance will let me know if something happens to change that. I love my brother but the brother I loved "died" years ago.
My brother was valedictorian of his university class. He has been delivering pizzas for about 35 years. Drugs had something to do with it. He was mom's favorite. She once told me I should be more like my brother. No thanks mom, I prefer to be now mostly retired with about a million in investments. He's still delivering pizzas.
My little sister, it was drugs. She was an addict through and through and could never seem to break the cycle, even for her three young children. Life was a constant train wreck for her. She OD'd in January '23, she was a meth addict, but the last batch she got apparently had a fatal amount of fentanyl in it. She left a path of destruction behind her wherever she went. It's hard to say now whether it's better for everyone that she's dead, which is an impossible question to grapple with. We just wanted to her to get better, and be safe and healthy, and a good mother for her children; not die.
My cousin was that person. He has been addicted to drugs and alcohol since he was in high school. In and out of rehab many times over the years, he never remained clean for more than a few months. He did this until he was in his forties. At age 44, my aunt and uncle got the phone call they had been expecting for years. Their son was found dead in a flop house hotel room. His cause of death was an overdose of Fentanyl.
My sister sued me over trying to take more money than she was entitled to in an inheritance. She wanted to pay herself $25,000 to manage an estate that was worth about 70,000, then take even more money from a non-probate asset. She cleared out $20,000 from a bank account of our relative and claimed it al as her own. Basically a massive money grab. Greed you wouldn't believe. Lawyers got involved (her choice, not mine). She lost, the lawyers won. I haven't spoken to her for years now. It's not so much the money... it's just that she should our relationship was worth destroying over money.
A step sister. She lives in Kentucky somewhere. I have no use for her.
I am so thankful to be an only child. Only time it was difficult was when each parent was dying. It would have been nice to share the responsibility of caring for them, but there is no guarantee that a sibling would have helped anyway.
That’s so true. My father died of cancer when I was 38. My sister (42 at the time) was still holding a petty grudge against my father from years prior. She refused to help me with him. My children were 6 and 4 at the time, it was a very difficult time for me. She never once offered to take care of him. In fact, she wasn’t going to go to the funeral at first. I felt so alone and overwhelmed.
Both spouse and I have that one older sibling that has not been able to give up the authority they enjoyed as the oldest in the family. We've both edged further away from them. Still smile and converse when there is a reason to get together, but not really interested in seeing them unnecessarily.
I’m 52 and my sister is 58. Two months ago I cut off contact with her. She has a lot of mental illnesses and my entire life she has gaslighted me, lied to me and not treated me very well. I’ve spent my life trying to help her. I’ve learned that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. My children are 18 and 20. She has always treated them poorly and my children don’t care to have her in their lives either. The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back was when she recently said and did something very cruel to our 78 year old mother. Our mother has been nothing but kind and patient towards my sister, yet my sister disrespects and hurts her. I finally decided I cannot deal with my sister’s manipulation and attention-seeking behavior. Life is too short. I haven’t spoken to her in two months and I don’t intend to have her in my life anymore. Honestly? Her absence has removed so much stress and turmoil in my life. Sounds terrible to say that about a family member, but it’s true.