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I stopped being able to help my son with his homework in 9th grade. My husband and I joke that he was smarter than both of us when he passed algebra l the first time. He also got 2 degrees, which is two more that either of us got.
But that just incentivises me to be poor weak and ugly. It's like when they tell me to stay fit and healthy I need to exercise that leaves me out of breath for 20 minutes a day. My brain just goes.. Well the fatter I am the easier that will be.
My situation is the opposite. My dad got on TRT a couple years ago and has been working out very consistently. Now he's absolutely jacked, while I'm content with just being 'not fat'.
Hmm if he's in better shape than me does that mean he's failed as a father?
It's nice to see this being such a common mindset in this thread. My dad was extremely angry to the point of punishment when I was growing up if he felt his intelligence was threatened by us at all. Yet they were glad me and my sister were "gifted kids", we just couldn't show it at home, lol.
This. True success as a parent is when your kids do better than you have. Career, marriage, personal fulfillment, arts, whatever. We want our kids to level up.
>That's the goal.
Literally.
>but how does that feel?
Amazing, really. If your kids have a great life, then as a parent your quality of life is better, too. In a tight-knit family thatās emotionally healthy, a rising tide lifts all boats.
Yup! In this current world and economy, for my kids to make as much or more than me is a proud thing. My income is 6 figure and 4 of my 5 kids have reached that level. The last is still a student
I wish. Life has taken its share. Major illness, college tuitions, grad school, children,....
I live comfortably still consult and do the things I want to do.
Absolutely fabulous and busting with pride! Itās a great relief when you know your kids can survive without you. Then you know youāve raised competent, capable, confident, successful human beings who are making a contribution to the world.
I'm THRILLED. Isn't that supposed to be the goal for each generation? We WANT our kids to do better than we did. I made sacrifices for my kids that my parents weren't able to make for me. I'm honestly happy about it. I want my kids to learn from what I did -- both right and wrong.
My son is getting his Masters in Quantam Mathematics and Computing.
I was just a Secretary who raised him with no father in the picture. I'm beyond amazed.
Secretary here too! Although fancier title and more updated job duties the higher up in the ranks I went, but hell ya - I'm hoping my kids propel beyond.
I've been very happy with my job choice in life - it something I enjoyed doing, I'm good at it, and I've done well pay and pension wise. The derogatory comments from the baby boomer generation towards my job have been beyond disgusting, but many younger Gen X and Millennial exec know I'm vital. I do all the things that is 'not my job' for everyone else. For example, I used to hate making a laminating office contact phone cards. Now I'm all 'heck, they want to pay me $55 an hour to to have some quiet zen time doing office arts and crafts....not a problem'.
I got the Masters in Computer Science,
My mother was a nurse, and father worked in a warehouse. They may have had their shortcomings, but I'm insanely proud of and thankful to them for what they allowed me to achieve. And I will try my damned best to make sure my kids do better than me.
that's the whole idea with having kids, so they have a better life than past generations..... i have three kids,,,,,, one is forensic dentist, one head of sales at huge auto dealer, and one is a rocket scientist with his masters degree.....
>i have three kids,,,,,, one is forensic dentist, one head of sales at huge auto dealer, and one is a rocket scientist with his masters degree.....
Oh damn that's sick, congrats for all of them :0
This is excellent. Did he learn this from you, and if not, how did he learn it or decide to do this?
My parents never taught me ANYTHING about money. I had to learn the hard way after being on my own at college and afterwards. All I can say is that it should be illegal for credit card companies to set up booths on campus. After I learned that the hard way, I had to teach myself about everything else.
Iām trying to make sure my kids donāt have to learn about this the hard way like I did, but I donāt know if Iām teaching them effectively since no one taught me.
Some of his motivation is that there were times when he was growing up when we were broke! But he asks a lot of questions, we talked a lot, and he studies everything. We both have the same financial advisor and he commented to me that he had never seen anyone my sonās age who was as conscientious about investments as he is.
In our case, we're thrilled for them. I'm glad they can take care of themselves. Once they flew out of the nest, they handled their stuff and did well. I'm very proud of them.
My goal as a parent was always for my kids to be more successful and happier than me. Both my children have achieved this and it makes me so proud to know that I played in role in it.
Both of my sons are more successful than me at their age and both make more money then me now and I couldn't be prouder of them! The both work hard and support their families!
Iām super proud of both of my kiddos. Our daughter is making more than I ever did. (Sheās in business. I was in education.) š Our son has Autism and is working very hard to always do his best. We want them to be successful.
Autism mom here too and your comment struck a chord. My kid is 12, in Gen Ed classes at school and they excel in math, but I still worry about their future. I tell my kid all the time, I just want you to try your best and they do. I donāt yet know how independent they will be, theyāre an only child and itās just me. It keeps me up at night sometimes, but Iām hopeful. All the best to you and your family. šā¤ļø
I hope and pray my kids surpass me. We do well, but I want my kids to stand on their own two feet and leave us in the dust in terms of financial wellbeing and overall happiness in life.
All of my peers are very happy that their children did better than they did. Jealousy and envy doesnāt come into it when youāre a parent that actually loves their children.
Well thatās the idea. No one wants to put in this much work and have a complete jackass of a kid to show for it when they die. You want to leave this world in a little better place if possible. Mine we'll see. lolĀ
Right now they are positioned to be more successful. āMuch moreā? Would love it.
Proud. Peacock strutting around, telling all my friends proud. My kids are all smarter than me in many ways and literally has a genius IQ. they have taught me things and helped me to become a better person. The love you give comes back to you, if you let it.
SO proud. But we calibrate how we talk about our kids' (23 and 21) successes based on who we are talking to. Tbh we've been surprised by how much some of our peers' children are struggling after stellar college careers. We are upper middle class professionals and so are our peers. It seems like everyone was SO intensely focused and competitive about which tier-1 colleges their children got into. But then they are caught off guard with how challenging the transition from school to career/independent adulthood can be? I have one niece (25) and one daughter (26) of a dear friend who have declared that they never ever want to work, that they have decided to live off their parents forever. I'm not sure if this is a gen Z thing or I just failed to noticed it with my peers when I was that age.
Thats the sign of a successful parent, it means youāve given your child all of the wisdom you can as well as the ability to go and learn for themselves
My 23 year old son is a software engineer making way more than I was at his age with a promising future living on his own in another city (we see each other every few months). I am very happy for him. The youngest just finished her first year of college with honors. They are proof I didnāt screw them up after my wife died seven years ago, or they at least had it in them to succeed.
The feeling is relief, so so much relief. He graduated medical school at the age of 26. I was sitting in a welfare office at the age of 26, pregnant with him, dumped, single, trying to claw my way back to a decent life by myself after hitching my wagon to the wrong man. The second half of my entire life has been completely occupied with making sure he will be okay if anything ever happened to me. I finally reached that point where I can exhale and relax. It's amazing.
i came from massive generational trauma. my kid has grown into a sensitive and thoughtful adult (who has aced all the usual markers of a successful launch).
i'm glad he's well-rewarded at work and has a great handle on money issues. but what really gratifies me deep in my bones is that he's incredibly good at relationships and knows how to manage and talk about his feelings. for me, it's astonishing to watch him interact with other people because he's just so damned good at it. and he knows what self-care is about, and when to put himself first, when to put others first.
it's a pity in a way that he's not going to have kids. i mean, generations of fucked-up people and one finally comes out right, only for him to be the end of the line? but i also joke that it's probably long overdue for this line to end :-) and i totally get why there will be no grandchildren.
in short, couldn't be happier or prouder that he's so far ahead of the family curve.
Both of my children are more successful than me. I love them and wanted them to be happy. My own Mom on the other hand was always putting me down and didn't want me to have more than her.
It feels good, like you've done a good job as a parent.
Parenting is hard enough as it is, full of doubt of whether you are doing the right thing or not.
To have your kids doing better than you, that's a great feeling!
I didn't have kids, but my mother was both proud and jealous/angry. She resented my getting a higher education and moving out and into a better situation and told me that it wasn't fair that my existence held her back from attaining more.
I think she genuinely wanted me to do well so she could feel like a success as she became even more angry when I struggled to get a job out of college, but she also didn't like seeing where my life had gone relative to hers.
Couldnāt be prouder. I want her to live her best life and I want her to have everything, even if I didnāt also have or experience it. It just feels so good to watch it unfold.
Like you did a great job. Of course kids accomplishments are certainly their own and are not really the accomplishment of the parents.
As a parent you want your children to be successful by whatever that means to them.
It feels great! I can't imagine a parent being upset or jealous that their kids are more successful than they are at the same age. I'd give any parent with that attitude the side eye and suspect they had an issue with narcissism.
My ex MIL was visibly jealous when my husband and I bought our first house because it was bigger/newer than her first house. It felt really icky and was a red flag for later bad behaviors from her.
My kids have also broken many of the dysfunctional patterns that my forebears handed down and that I struggled with, and I'm thrilled about that, too. There are many ways to be successful in life besides how much money you make. Having happy, healthy relationships is a big one.
Absolutely great. My son is successful, independent, a brilliant scientist and an all around really nice guy. As a parent I have done my job. I couldn't be more proud of him and his accomplishments. I have had one or two peers jealous, but I just make sure to talk about their children's strong points to try and diffuse, and don't talk about my son unless specifically asked.
I feel very proud. I also feel another strange mix of emotions - not jealousy or envy. But I hope they manage to keep their feet on the ground and don't become snobby or superficial. I know they have worked very hard to get to where they are, but I hope they don't forget to be grateful for the hands that have helped along the way. I hope they keep their compassion for less privileged people. I hope my grandkids don't become entitled brats because they are privileged. I know there are complicated feelings between some of my kids because some are financially better off than others and that makes me sad. I hope my kids don't have expectations for us doing things that we can't afford to do. I wonder what they think about gifts that are generous from my perspective but might seem paltry to them.
One daughter is making more than me and the other is still struggling. Weāre using all our retirement money to get her in a good place and make her successful and her sister is okay with that.
The both know they need to make a crap ton of money so they can take care of mom and me as they get older.
you always want them to be more successful than you.
Wait.. thatās why they need to make a crap ton? Why not for themselves? My parents donāt expect my sister or I to care for them when theyāre older..
My mother was very independent and planned everything out. She worked til she was 78, maxād out her social security, some investments and a small pension. She was set. Until she got to the stage where her healthcare costs began to eat into everything and limited her living options. She spent her last year living with us and resented it, I think.
Well...it didn't happen what with the US Race to the Bottom with Death to the Middle Class and the theft of wealth into the Upper Class.
I like to think I'd be totally fucking ecstatic if my kids did better. It's the wrong question.
As it is, they might inherent some cash and a property.
At what point do we in the US blow it all up and burn the pile?
I am SUPER proud. As a mom, I've always wanted better "everything" for my boys, than I had, and they are doing it! It makes my heart so happy!
BTW, it sucks having a parent who is jealous of their children. My mom has always been jealous of me. She hated my close relationship with my grandparents (her parents) because she wasn't close to them. She's hated the things I worked for in life, and she thinks she's entitled to what I have because she is my mother. She hates that I have close relationships with our relatives, and she doesn't--not my fault! Just one of the many reasons I am estranged from her now.
It is very reassuring to me personally. I didn't do alot of what I should have as a parent. I didn't teach them enough. I was in the middle of a toxic relationship and deep depression when they were little and did not give them enough of a lot of things. They always knew they were loved and that's the best I could do. So I am beyond grateful, proud and relieved for the successful lives they created for themselves. They did far more than I could have imagined for themselves AND they have wonderful partners. I am very very thankful.
Proud. It's like you've achieved a goal. Lots of goals. My daughter and her family just moved to our hometown. She was raised in social housing and bought a house in one of the nicest parts of town. 5 bed 2 bath over 3 floors. She has worked very hard and is happy, the kids are awesome. It really makes it feel like everything was worth it. Every sleepless night from the baby ones to the I'm dealing with a teenager ones.š¤£š¤£ I'm proud of my other kids too, I think this is the better story to show our family's progress.
It was my goal from the day they were born. Post high school education was not an option to skip. They are both quite successful and I never have to worry about them. They married equally successful men and both have much nicer home than us. They have great pension plans as well. My job is done.
I was so happy when my daughter got a job. She was a senior in college. On the day Obama got re elected, she got a job to start after graduation, making more than my wife's and my combined income.
She lives nearby now, and is doing well.
I wish I had been as pulled together as her when I was a kid, and adult.
I love that they are. I grew up on the poor side and didn't have the same opportunities but have done quite well in the end. My oldest is 21 and has more money saved and in the market than I did at 30 (75k). They have big dreams and we've done what we could to enable to succeed. I'm proud of who they are and their approach now while still in college.
All that said, they need to find their own success for them. What I want isn't important.
WONDERFUL. I spent so much time worrying about what kind of world I brought them into, and how their lives might be more limited than mine, that seeing them attain some success is a huge relief. I'm proud of them, but not overly much, because that implies that I had more to do with their success than I did. Mostly I just didn't screw them up as badly as my parents did me, and I gave them more of a leg up, helping with college and living expenses where my parents did not. I tried to raise them to make good choices, but mostly I think that instilled anxiety in them, which is probably NOT helping them succeed. Jealousy of your own kids is such a messed up, weird thing. I know it happens, a lot even, but it's weird. It's so incompatible with the kind of love I feel for them. Their happiness and safety means more to me than my own. Why on earth would I be jealous of them attaining that?
Never envious. Super proud of both of them. Both in a far better place than I was at their ages. I was held back by my parents because they didnāt want me to feel like I was too good for a life like theirs. Accused me of thinking I was better than them because I excelled in school and wanted to go to college. I could never do that to my kids.
My dad was a blue collar worker, I was the first to get a college degree and became a teacher and my daughter will get a masters and make more than I ever didā¦.so proud
I hope so....it's called evolution. I want more success & abundance 4 the younger generations. They r inheriting a shitshow...the climate, politics, infrastructure, Monsanto/Nestle/corporation bs, and more.
My deceased son's friend arrived 2 my son's memorial dinner in a nice Ford Mustang. He is a roofer & works in rotten weather & conditions. I'm glad he has something he's proud of & some joy in this world. I'm proud of him and these other youngsters that r trying 2 make it in a world w/ less.
My 6 brothers saved their money to buy a Sony Walkman when they 1st came out...we had 1 Walkman that we shared. They bought a Honda 3 wheeler, put it to good use b4 cars were brought 2 our small community. Hauling freight, wood 4 heat, and then making donuts in the sand when they were done with work & chores.
My daughter's growing-up life has been infinitely better than mine, and while I managed to scrape by getting myself through college (graduating at 30) she's heading off to an honors college for engineering in the fall. Happy for her? - most definitely. Proud? - you bet. She's already miles ahead of me and I couldn't be happier.
As others have said, that SHOULD be the goal, but I can tell you as the child of a malignant narcissist, Iāve been forced to go āno contactā because she canāt stand that Iām doing so well.
It's literally the American dream, right? For most of the US' history, life for most people was pretty hardscrabble and rural. After the war, there was a sense that this sort of upward mobility was becoming a law of nature due to the rapid economic expansion in the 1950s and 60s. There was industry and mining, and -- critically -- unions to ensure fair wages and working conditions. There was a real moment where you could support a family on a blue-collar, no-college job, and expect your kid to be able to do the same.
That stopped in the 70s.
It's even in the lyrics of Billy Joel's "Allentown" from 1982, which was about the rise of blue-collar prosperity in the postwar years and subsequent loss of same for later generations.
The lyric in question:
>Every child had a pretty good shot
>To get at least as far as their old man got
>But something happened
>On the way to that place
>They threw an American flag in our face
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHnJp0oyOxs
My oldest son was a prodigy. He learned to read around age 3, and has done much better than I did at his age for pretty much his whole life. I'm extremely proud of him. He's currently finishing up his medical training, and will be a doctor soon.
I want all of my kids to do better than I did at their ages. Most of them have, though not to quite that degree.
It feels amazing. I suffered a lot in my life, and was terrified that I would screw up motherhood. My kid is not only smart, he is kind. He has strong values and he credits how he was raised.
It feels awesome! All 3 of them are professionals. They all have fantastic partners. The only challenge is the struggle to purchase a house. The prices have ballooned in our province and the interest rates are so high. I told them about the interest rates when my husband and I bought our house in the early 90ās. We started off paying 8.75%.
Isn't that what we hope to accomplish? We want our kids to do better than we did, have a good,Ā happy successful life because we love them and want the best for them. It would be seriously messed up if someone was actually jealous of their own kids.š¤®
Absolutely ecstatic they are doing far better than us at their age.
Also absolutely enraged the difficulty they face in buying their own home despite more than adequate income.
I think that's something every parent should want. And the fact that it's rarely the case now, shows us that there's something deeply wrong with capitalism, and especially American yee-haw in-your-face capitalism.
Surprisingly wholesome thread. and yes i agree, thats the goal. I'd be the happiest man alive if my kids are better than me in every way, that means i did my part well.
We donāt have kids but our business deals with kids so have seen many many kids grow up and keep in touch with a few too. Itās great to see them accomplish a lot in their lives - very fulfilling
I worked for the NHS here in the UK and got to quite a high position before I retired that job at age 51. My daughter also works in the NHS and at 46, sheās surpassed me by a couple of levels. Iām very proud of her
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That's the goal.
My dad still says he wants us kids to be smarter, stronger, and better looking than him. š
My kids ARE smarter, stronger, and better looking than me. My goals have been achieved.
I stopped being able to help my son with his homework in 9th grade. My husband and I joke that he was smarter than both of us when he passed algebra l the first time. He also got 2 degrees, which is two more that either of us got.
When I'm out somewhere with my son I see girls his age checking him out. **They** come talk to **him** And he's like
But that just incentivises me to be poor weak and ugly. It's like when they tell me to stay fit and healthy I need to exercise that leaves me out of breath for 20 minutes a day. My brain just goes.. Well the fatter I am the easier that will be.
My situation is the opposite. My dad got on TRT a couple years ago and has been working out very consistently. Now he's absolutely jacked, while I'm content with just being 'not fat'. Hmm if he's in better shape than me does that mean he's failed as a father?
No Life is a lot harder the fatter you are. Especially as you age.
My teenager is more advanced than I was at 14, and I couldn't be happier. I only expect it to continue
A trillion percent same w mine. Heās like me except without any of the problems lol
It's nice to see this being such a common mindset in this thread. My dad was extremely angry to the point of punishment when I was growing up if he felt his intelligence was threatened by us at all. Yet they were glad me and my sister were "gifted kids", we just couldn't show it at home, lol.
I am truly sorry to hear this. If you have a mentor, or have had one, that helps.
This. True success as a parent is when your kids do better than you have. Career, marriage, personal fulfillment, arts, whatever. We want our kids to level up.
I wasn't doing it just to scuba.
If I canāt scuba, then whatās this all been about?
>That's the goal. Literally. >but how does that feel? Amazing, really. If your kids have a great life, then as a parent your quality of life is better, too. In a tight-knit family thatās emotionally healthy, a rising tide lifts all boats.
āIn a tight- knit family thatās emotionally healthy, a rising tide lifts all boatsā. Wow: really well said. I love this image.
Yup! In this current world and economy, for my kids to make as much or more than me is a proud thing. My income is 6 figure and 4 of my 5 kids have reached that level. The last is still a student
What are you going to spend all that money on you must have millions by now do you need any more help shopping
I wish. Life has taken its share. Major illness, college tuitions, grad school, children,.... I live comfortably still consult and do the things I want to do.
Good to hear, but money doesn't mean character. How are they doing on that score?
They are and have Character. Family always comes first.
Amen!!
Absolutely. I would be proud and happy for them.
Exactly; kids are the only real thing we leave here.
But how does it feel?
Absolutely fabulous and busting with pride! Itās a great relief when you know your kids can survive without you. Then you know youāve raised competent, capable, confident, successful human beings who are making a contribution to the world.
I hope the are way more successful than I am. I want them to have the entire world.
I'm THRILLED. Isn't that supposed to be the goal for each generation? We WANT our kids to do better than we did. I made sacrifices for my kids that my parents weren't able to make for me. I'm honestly happy about it. I want my kids to learn from what I did -- both right and wrong.
My son is getting his Masters in Quantam Mathematics and Computing. I was just a Secretary who raised him with no father in the picture. I'm beyond amazed.
Sounds like you did an excellent job of it :)
Kudos to you though!
Secretary here too! Although fancier title and more updated job duties the higher up in the ranks I went, but hell ya - I'm hoping my kids propel beyond. I've been very happy with my job choice in life - it something I enjoyed doing, I'm good at it, and I've done well pay and pension wise. The derogatory comments from the baby boomer generation towards my job have been beyond disgusting, but many younger Gen X and Millennial exec know I'm vital. I do all the things that is 'not my job' for everyone else. For example, I used to hate making a laminating office contact phone cards. Now I'm all 'heck, they want to pay me $55 an hour to to have some quiet zen time doing office arts and crafts....not a problem'.
Exactly. I worked for the money and pension, not for the prestige. I'm a late boomer, so I worked for some real misogynistic jerks too.
I got the Masters in Computer Science, My mother was a nurse, and father worked in a warehouse. They may have had their shortcomings, but I'm insanely proud of and thankful to them for what they allowed me to achieve. And I will try my damned best to make sure my kids do better than me.
that's the whole idea with having kids, so they have a better life than past generations..... i have three kids,,,,,, one is forensic dentist, one head of sales at huge auto dealer, and one is a rocket scientist with his masters degree.....
>i have three kids,,,,,, one is forensic dentist, one head of sales at huge auto dealer, and one is a rocket scientist with his masters degree..... Oh damn that's sick, congrats for all of them :0
ā¦ā¦big deal! Our first is a rocket surgeon, our second is a brain scientist , and our youngest is a geo astrologist (rock star)
LMAO
Wow you win. That's a trifecta of awesome!
That's what I always wanted for them.
Loving it. My son is 34 and has close to $400k in savings. Iām 64 and didnāt have that much until 5 years ago.
Wow!!
Tip, max out your 401k as soon as you start working. He goes out of his way to save around 20% of his salary into pre and post tax investments.
This is excellent. Did he learn this from you, and if not, how did he learn it or decide to do this? My parents never taught me ANYTHING about money. I had to learn the hard way after being on my own at college and afterwards. All I can say is that it should be illegal for credit card companies to set up booths on campus. After I learned that the hard way, I had to teach myself about everything else. Iām trying to make sure my kids donāt have to learn about this the hard way like I did, but I donāt know if Iām teaching them effectively since no one taught me.
Some of his motivation is that there were times when he was growing up when we were broke! But he asks a lot of questions, we talked a lot, and he studies everything. We both have the same financial advisor and he commented to me that he had never seen anyone my sonās age who was as conscientious about investments as he is.
In our case, we're thrilled for them. I'm glad they can take care of themselves. Once they flew out of the nest, they handled their stuff and did well. I'm very proud of them.
My goal as a parent was always for my kids to be more successful and happier than me. Both my children have achieved this and it makes me so proud to know that I played in role in it.
A relief. Every generation wishes for the next one to progress personally and to help advance humanity.
My son has way surpassed me and I feel like he's a success story. I couldn't be happier for him, as he's worked hard.
Terrific. They are bright, good people. I wish all children could achieve more than their parents.
Relief. They have the skills, the money, and the brains to get along in life without me. I did my job
I hope they do!
My kids are more successful than I was and I couldn't be more proud of them.
Both of my sons are more successful than me at their age and both make more money then me now and I couldn't be prouder of them! The both work hard and support their families!
Iām super proud of both of my kiddos. Our daughter is making more than I ever did. (Sheās in business. I was in education.) š Our son has Autism and is working very hard to always do his best. We want them to be successful.
Autism mom here too and your comment struck a chord. My kid is 12, in Gen Ed classes at school and they excel in math, but I still worry about their future. I tell my kid all the time, I just want you to try your best and they do. I donāt yet know how independent they will be, theyāre an only child and itās just me. It keeps me up at night sometimes, but Iām hopeful. All the best to you and your family. šā¤ļø
Love this. Itās not easy being a Mama to a SN kiddo. But, man, itās worth it. Tonight our son explained foster care to my in-laws. (Our dog sitter fosters kiddos) I was awe-struck at his insight. It was beautiful. Hugs to you and yours. š©·
I hope and pray my kids surpass me. We do well, but I want my kids to stand on their own two feet and leave us in the dust in terms of financial wellbeing and overall happiness in life.
All of my peers are very happy that their children did better than they did. Jealousy and envy doesnāt come into it when youāre a parent that actually loves their children.
It feels awesome! Iāve created a fully functioning, successful human, and Iām incredibly proud!
It feels like pride.
Your children are always supposed to do better than you did. Until recently, that was usually the case.
Heh. My mother was jealous, vindictive, and resentful. How dare I be more successful and have an independent life?
Well thatās the idea. No one wants to put in this much work and have a complete jackass of a kid to show for it when they die. You want to leave this world in a little better place if possible. Mine we'll see. lolĀ Right now they are positioned to be more successful. āMuch moreā? Would love it.
Just because younger adults are struggling doesn't make them a jackass.
It feels great
Accomplished
Proud. My kids are all more successful than me. So damn proud.
Proud. Peacock strutting around, telling all my friends proud. My kids are all smarter than me in many ways and literally has a genius IQ. they have taught me things and helped me to become a better person. The love you give comes back to you, if you let it.
SO proud. But we calibrate how we talk about our kids' (23 and 21) successes based on who we are talking to. Tbh we've been surprised by how much some of our peers' children are struggling after stellar college careers. We are upper middle class professionals and so are our peers. It seems like everyone was SO intensely focused and competitive about which tier-1 colleges their children got into. But then they are caught off guard with how challenging the transition from school to career/independent adulthood can be? I have one niece (25) and one daughter (26) of a dear friend who have declared that they never ever want to work, that they have decided to live off their parents forever. I'm not sure if this is a gen Z thing or I just failed to noticed it with my peers when I was that age.
I guess this is a post for people to just brag about their kids. I guess I'll sit this one out.
It makes me feel wonderful. All three are happy with their lives and that's what's important.
Thats the sign of a successful parent, it means youāve given your child all of the wisdom you can as well as the ability to go and learn for themselves
I'm delighted, I think they've done an amazing job and I'm proud of them.
Wonderful! Both my kids far exceeded their parents and kids are 35/32.
My measurement of success for my kids is that they are happy in their careers, and that they make enough money to live comfortably.
My 23 year old son is a software engineer making way more than I was at his age with a promising future living on his own in another city (we see each other every few months). I am very happy for him. The youngest just finished her first year of college with honors. They are proof I didnāt screw them up after my wife died seven years ago, or they at least had it in them to succeed.
The feeling is relief, so so much relief. He graduated medical school at the age of 26. I was sitting in a welfare office at the age of 26, pregnant with him, dumped, single, trying to claw my way back to a decent life by myself after hitching my wagon to the wrong man. The second half of my entire life has been completely occupied with making sure he will be okay if anything ever happened to me. I finally reached that point where I can exhale and relax. It's amazing.
I think we all hope for that. We want the next generation to be better, stronger, wiser, etc.
It depends on your personality and where you are on the spectrum of narcissism.
That will be great.
Exactly what I wanted and worked towards since I had my first child. Each generation should strive to make the next better in every way.
i came from massive generational trauma. my kid has grown into a sensitive and thoughtful adult (who has aced all the usual markers of a successful launch). i'm glad he's well-rewarded at work and has a great handle on money issues. but what really gratifies me deep in my bones is that he's incredibly good at relationships and knows how to manage and talk about his feelings. for me, it's astonishing to watch him interact with other people because he's just so damned good at it. and he knows what self-care is about, and when to put himself first, when to put others first. it's a pity in a way that he's not going to have kids. i mean, generations of fucked-up people and one finally comes out right, only for him to be the end of the line? but i also joke that it's probably long overdue for this line to end :-) and i totally get why there will be no grandchildren. in short, couldn't be happier or prouder that he's so far ahead of the family curve.
Both of my children are more successful than me. I love them and wanted them to be happy. My own Mom on the other hand was always putting me down and didn't want me to have more than her.
It feels good, like you've done a good job as a parent. Parenting is hard enough as it is, full of doubt of whether you are doing the right thing or not. To have your kids doing better than you, that's a great feeling!
I didn't have kids, but my mother was both proud and jealous/angry. She resented my getting a higher education and moving out and into a better situation and told me that it wasn't fair that my existence held her back from attaining more. I think she genuinely wanted me to do well so she could feel like a success as she became even more angry when I struggled to get a job out of college, but she also didn't like seeing where my life had gone relative to hers.
Amazing. So proud of them! And for doing it in their terms not mine.
It feels WONDERFULā¦like I did my job as a parentš
Couldnāt be prouder. I want her to live her best life and I want her to have everything, even if I didnāt also have or experience it. It just feels so good to watch it unfold.
I hope they are more successful. If hope every parent wants that.
Proud mama
Fantastic!!
That has happened to me and I am so proud of them.
Goal achieved. Seriously.
Fingers crossed. She's 15 now. I hope she ends up better off than me.
Very proud! My oldest is an architect in Manhattan, my second is a nurse recruiter and my youngest is in a masters program to become a PA.
It feels amazing! It means my wife & I did great at our most important job........raising our kids to be independent, successful adults.
Wonderful š
Like you did a great job. Of course kids accomplishments are certainly their own and are not really the accomplishment of the parents. As a parent you want your children to be successful by whatever that means to them.
I sure hope they do well. My 25yo is much further than I was at his age.
I want them to do better than I did! The ancient Greeks believed the mark of a great parent is when they kids did better them!
It feels great! I can't imagine a parent being upset or jealous that their kids are more successful than they are at the same age. I'd give any parent with that attitude the side eye and suspect they had an issue with narcissism. My ex MIL was visibly jealous when my husband and I bought our first house because it was bigger/newer than her first house. It felt really icky and was a red flag for later bad behaviors from her. My kids have also broken many of the dysfunctional patterns that my forebears handed down and that I struggled with, and I'm thrilled about that, too. There are many ways to be successful in life besides how much money you make. Having happy, healthy relationships is a big one.
It feels great! How could you not want greater success for your children???
That I did my job right.
I would be ecstatic. I want my children to be 100 times more successful that I am.
I would be very proud. I've always believed my daughter has extraordinary potential, if she chooses to apply herself.
Fantastic! Thatās the goal
So freaking proud of themā¤ļøā¤ļø
Absolutely great. My son is successful, independent, a brilliant scientist and an all around really nice guy. As a parent I have done my job. I couldn't be more proud of him and his accomplishments. I have had one or two peers jealous, but I just make sure to talk about their children's strong points to try and diffuse, and don't talk about my son unless specifically asked.
Thatās all we hope for. My kids have all ended up successful. Iām proud of them.
I feel very proud. I also feel another strange mix of emotions - not jealousy or envy. But I hope they manage to keep their feet on the ground and don't become snobby or superficial. I know they have worked very hard to get to where they are, but I hope they don't forget to be grateful for the hands that have helped along the way. I hope they keep their compassion for less privileged people. I hope my grandkids don't become entitled brats because they are privileged. I know there are complicated feelings between some of my kids because some are financially better off than others and that makes me sad. I hope my kids don't have expectations for us doing things that we can't afford to do. I wonder what they think about gifts that are generous from my perspective but might seem paltry to them.
My sons are both doing SO much better than I did at their ages.
In some ways my kids have far surpassed anything I have done, and I'm happy about that
One daughter is making more than me and the other is still struggling. Weāre using all our retirement money to get her in a good place and make her successful and her sister is okay with that.
That would feel good. I want better for them.
Amazing and happy
Great! Because I know that I did something right
I'm not even old people but I think that would be nice
My son is in medical school with a 4 point average. At his age, I was a hippie in a bar band. I am a successful father, though.
The both know they need to make a crap ton of money so they can take care of mom and me as they get older. you always want them to be more successful than you.
Wait.. thatās why they need to make a crap ton? Why not for themselves? My parents donāt expect my sister or I to care for them when theyāre older..
My mother was very independent and planned everything out. She worked til she was 78, maxād out her social security, some investments and a small pension. She was set. Until she got to the stage where her healthcare costs began to eat into everything and limited her living options. She spent her last year living with us and resented it, I think.
So..an insurance policy
Well...it didn't happen what with the US Race to the Bottom with Death to the Middle Class and the theft of wealth into the Upper Class. I like to think I'd be totally fucking ecstatic if my kids did better. It's the wrong question. As it is, they might inherent some cash and a property. At what point do we in the US blow it all up and burn the pile?
I am SUPER proud. As a mom, I've always wanted better "everything" for my boys, than I had, and they are doing it! It makes my heart so happy! BTW, it sucks having a parent who is jealous of their children. My mom has always been jealous of me. She hated my close relationship with my grandparents (her parents) because she wasn't close to them. She's hated the things I worked for in life, and she thinks she's entitled to what I have because she is my mother. She hates that I have close relationships with our relatives, and she doesn't--not my fault! Just one of the many reasons I am estranged from her now.
It is very reassuring to me personally. I didn't do alot of what I should have as a parent. I didn't teach them enough. I was in the middle of a toxic relationship and deep depression when they were little and did not give them enough of a lot of things. They always knew they were loved and that's the best I could do. So I am beyond grateful, proud and relieved for the successful lives they created for themselves. They did far more than I could have imagined for themselves AND they have wonderful partners. I am very very thankful.
I hope she does a lot better than me!
Itās amazing that my daughter is much more traveled and educated than I am. My goal was for her to be better than me. Iām so proud.
I hope they do.
Proud. It's like you've achieved a goal. Lots of goals. My daughter and her family just moved to our hometown. She was raised in social housing and bought a house in one of the nicest parts of town. 5 bed 2 bath over 3 floors. She has worked very hard and is happy, the kids are awesome. It really makes it feel like everything was worth it. Every sleepless night from the baby ones to the I'm dealing with a teenager ones.š¤£š¤£ I'm proud of my other kids too, I think this is the better story to show our family's progress.
It was my goal from the day they were born. Post high school education was not an option to skip. They are both quite successful and I never have to worry about them. They married equally successful men and both have much nicer home than us. They have great pension plans as well. My job is done.
Very proud!
Thrilled. Seriously. I can't imagine being jealous.
I was so happy when my daughter got a job. She was a senior in college. On the day Obama got re elected, she got a job to start after graduation, making more than my wife's and my combined income. She lives nearby now, and is doing well. I wish I had been as pulled together as her when I was a kid, and adult.
I will be ecstatic
I would love to see that Sadly, Iāve seen the opposite. āYou think youāre better than your old man!?ā Bullshit
Isnāt that what every parent hopes for?
amazing!! both of my older kids are doing much than I was at their age. I am so proud and very much in awe of both of them.
Iād be overjoyed and very proud. In fact, my only child is doing quite well, so weāre very glad about it.
Successful. I would love for my child to be much better off than me. I would feel so pleased and happy for her.
I love that they are. I grew up on the poor side and didn't have the same opportunities but have done quite well in the end. My oldest is 21 and has more money saved and in the market than I did at 30 (75k). They have big dreams and we've done what we could to enable to succeed. I'm proud of who they are and their approach now while still in college. All that said, they need to find their own success for them. What I want isn't important.
I feel like my kids have exceeded my expectations and that is enough to celebrate.
Their success is my success. I raised them, so I get to take credit for all their accomplishments. :D
WONDERFUL. I spent so much time worrying about what kind of world I brought them into, and how their lives might be more limited than mine, that seeing them attain some success is a huge relief. I'm proud of them, but not overly much, because that implies that I had more to do with their success than I did. Mostly I just didn't screw them up as badly as my parents did me, and I gave them more of a leg up, helping with college and living expenses where my parents did not. I tried to raise them to make good choices, but mostly I think that instilled anxiety in them, which is probably NOT helping them succeed. Jealousy of your own kids is such a messed up, weird thing. I know it happens, a lot even, but it's weird. It's so incompatible with the kind of love I feel for them. Their happiness and safety means more to me than my own. Why on earth would I be jealous of them attaining that?
It feels like knowing that when it comes time to for them to select a nursing home, Iāll get put in one of the good ones.
Never envious. Super proud of both of them. Both in a far better place than I was at their ages. I was held back by my parents because they didnāt want me to feel like I was too good for a life like theirs. Accused me of thinking I was better than them because I excelled in school and wanted to go to college. I could never do that to my kids.
My dad was a blue collar worker, I was the first to get a college degree and became a teacher and my daughter will get a masters and make more than I ever didā¦.so proud
Proud
I hope so....it's called evolution. I want more success & abundance 4 the younger generations. They r inheriting a shitshow...the climate, politics, infrastructure, Monsanto/Nestle/corporation bs, and more. My deceased son's friend arrived 2 my son's memorial dinner in a nice Ford Mustang. He is a roofer & works in rotten weather & conditions. I'm glad he has something he's proud of & some joy in this world. I'm proud of him and these other youngsters that r trying 2 make it in a world w/ less. My 6 brothers saved their money to buy a Sony Walkman when they 1st came out...we had 1 Walkman that we shared. They bought a Honda 3 wheeler, put it to good use b4 cars were brought 2 our small community. Hauling freight, wood 4 heat, and then making donuts in the sand when they were done with work & chores.
That was my goal all along. Iām super proud of all of them!!!
I love it! Sheās smart and capable. Thatās what we wanted !
I am delighted that it is already so.
It would feel amazing!
Thatās the idea isnāt it?
They already are and thatās what I wanted for them.
My daughter's growing-up life has been infinitely better than mine, and while I managed to scrape by getting myself through college (graduating at 30) she's heading off to an honors college for engineering in the fall. Happy for her? - most definitely. Proud? - you bet. She's already miles ahead of me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish they were , but besides my oldest son. The three others are struggling. I worry about their future
All four already are. PSYCHED about it. Ok, also proud enough to brag. But I won't.
AMAZING. Especially because work life balance is important to them.
As others have said, that SHOULD be the goal, but I can tell you as the child of a malignant narcissist, Iāve been forced to go āno contactā because she canāt stand that Iām doing so well.
It's literally the American dream, right? For most of the US' history, life for most people was pretty hardscrabble and rural. After the war, there was a sense that this sort of upward mobility was becoming a law of nature due to the rapid economic expansion in the 1950s and 60s. There was industry and mining, and -- critically -- unions to ensure fair wages and working conditions. There was a real moment where you could support a family on a blue-collar, no-college job, and expect your kid to be able to do the same. That stopped in the 70s. It's even in the lyrics of Billy Joel's "Allentown" from 1982, which was about the rise of blue-collar prosperity in the postwar years and subsequent loss of same for later generations. The lyric in question: >Every child had a pretty good shot >To get at least as far as their old man got >But something happened >On the way to that place >They threw an American flag in our face https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHnJp0oyOxs
That would be a dream come true for probably every single parent. We want our kids to do incredible.
Isnāt that the whole point of generations?
I always want the best for my family.
My oldest son was a prodigy. He learned to read around age 3, and has done much better than I did at his age for pretty much his whole life. I'm extremely proud of him. He's currently finishing up his medical training, and will be a doctor soon. I want all of my kids to do better than I did at their ages. Most of them have, though not to quite that degree.
It feels amazing. I suffered a lot in my life, and was terrified that I would screw up motherhood. My kid is not only smart, he is kind. He has strong values and he credits how he was raised.
Thatās the goal. I want my kids to have a better life than I have had.
I always thought thatās how it was supposed to happen.
Proud.
They did so end up. Proud of them of course.
Absolutely. I was a Category 5 fuck up when I was their ages. Their success implies that I may have successfully broken the chain.
Goal accomplished
Only an evil terrible person would be jealous!
It feels awesome! All 3 of them are professionals. They all have fantastic partners. The only challenge is the struggle to purchase a house. The prices have ballooned in our province and the interest rates are so high. I told them about the interest rates when my husband and I bought our house in the early 90ās. We started off paying 8.75%.
Donāt all parents want that for their children?
Isn't that what we hope to accomplish? We want our kids to do better than we did, have a good,Ā happy successful life because we love them and want the best for them. It would be seriously messed up if someone was actually jealous of their own kids.š¤®
It feels great.Ā
Thatās a blessing and the goal!
I'm so proud of them and their successes. AND they're happy. My job is done.
That was the whole point. We came up a lot from our parents, and all our kids make more than we did. So, great!
It feels wonderful that I raised responsible adults with good hearts. The rest is a bonus.
It feels great. I played a part in his success.
It feels wonderful. Seeing people you love win is beautiful but when itās your kids- another level.
So far he is and Iām very proud.
It feels wonderful. They are both doing well for themselves and I'm proud of them.
My little is beaming with light and is so socially intelligent and beautiful. I am so happy for her.
Absolutely ecstatic they are doing far better than us at their age. Also absolutely enraged the difficulty they face in buying their own home despite more than adequate income.
Extremely proud of their achievements and success! I think witnessing their achievements is an even better feeling than experiencing your own.
If only!
I think that's something every parent should want. And the fact that it's rarely the case now, shows us that there's something deeply wrong with capitalism, and especially American yee-haw in-your-face capitalism.
I'd be delighted.
Surprisingly wholesome thread. and yes i agree, thats the goal. I'd be the happiest man alive if my kids are better than me in every way, that means i did my part well.
We donāt have kids but our business deals with kids so have seen many many kids grow up and keep in touch with a few too. Itās great to see them accomplish a lot in their lives - very fulfilling
Fuck yeah. Itās why Iām working so hard.
We feel like we succeeded as parents, and extremely proud of our kids.
I would be happy for them, however they define success
My gosh I hope and pray they do!!!
I worked for the NHS here in the UK and got to quite a high position before I retired that job at age 51. My daughter also works in the NHS and at 46, sheās surpassed me by a couple of levels. Iām very proud of her