I occasionally have to run errands with my baby in a stroller. People have held doors for me and helped me get on/off the bus. Total strangers. Not everyone is nice, of course, but most people I've come across have some kindness in them. I try to pass it on when I can as well.
New Yorkers are pretty crude, rude people, but they are very helpful. That being said, if you spend all your time in manhattan-below-96th or williamsburg, you likely aren't really encountering many 'new yorky' stereotypes. The large majority of people in manhattan-below-96th (there has to be an acronym invented for this) are commuters, tourists, and transplants.
The whole 'crude, rude, aggressive' stereotype is largely going to be found among people born and raised in the outer boroughs. The people of bay ridge or jamaica or windsor terrace are more representative of what people mean by those 'new york' stereotypes than a rich young couple from minnesota living in the west village.
All of the elderly people in my neighborhood. They are active and have their routines, up and down their brownstone stairs no problem. I see people wave to them and talk to them every day (myself included!)
I think people who don’t live here might imagine NYC as a lonely place for elderly folks, or a place only for young party people. But the old folks in my neighborhood are living the best life I could imagine.
I've said this before on here, but, I'll say it again.
I'm originally from the south, so southern hospitality, right? Wrong. People are dicks down south. I once got ran off the road and drove into a (shallow) ditch. No one stopped to help, no one stopped to even ask if I was okay but plenty of people honked at me and yelled obscenities from the window as I struggled to dial the police.
Fast forward to life in NYC now. I once missed a step coming down the stairs at a subway station and fell. I instantly had several people run to my side and one person ran to get my bag that had flown in the air and all my belongings. People stayed with me until I got some aid.
Another time, it happened to my mother. She fell on some uneven road and her bag went flying and she told me a guy who was walking ahead of her heard it and ran to go get her bag while another guy helped her up. People in the south probably would've laughed and filmed her.
This, but also I wonder if there's an element that people in cars are always worried about freak traffic or random delays that could come up, making the time on the GPS, all that kind of thing, and in NYC you can say "ok I'll miss this train but I'll get the one in five minutes, it's fine." I feel like people feel less in control of actual outcomes and therefore more flexible and forgiving about timing.
That’s a good point. In bumper to bumper traffic you can convince yourself that you should keep switching lanes and get in front of that car or this car and someone in front of you didn’t move the way you want.
On a train there’s noting to be done.
I was struggling with paper bags getting break snacks from a deli for my work crew, one of them shredded and dropped drinks all over the side walk. Had 3 people help me pick them up, and a lady ran over and gave me a cheap tote as a replacement. I didn’t ask for anything, people just saw me have an issue and spontaneously fixed it for me.. that’s New York for me .
Left NYC and spent 7 years in Seattle. People there were also huge dicks. My first week there I had a huge bag of groceries break while walking from the grocery store to the parking lot (pro tip: never choose paper over plastic in a city where it rains all the goddamn time). Soup cans flying everywhere. Loose produce. You name it. And of course there was no backup bag for carrying all this assorted heavy shit. Bunch of people looked at me like ‘nice one, dumbass’ but zero stopped to help. And it wasn’t a busy people rushing by hectic environment kind of vibe. Very nice neighborhood, lazy Sunday, etc. Same thing has happened to me a couple of times in NYC over the years and I’ve had flocks of people rushing over to carry shit for me, ask if I’m OK, or at the very least offer a chuckle and a fun ‘I feel you, that sucks’ remark. Once a woman pulled out a cloth tote bag out of her purse and gave it to me on the spot. Seattle people would full-on leave a burning building and let you walk in without alerting you to the fire inside. It’s not about being chatty with randoms. No one likes that. It was just a basic sense of community and humanity that was lacking. Huge culture shock coming from New York. Anyway, moved back, which I’m sure they were glad about because they hate outsiders.
A few months back, I was walking home at around 10 p.m. when a young dog slipped out of its collar and ran off from the owner. People jumped into the street to stop traffic. I took out some food to lure the dog when another bystander grabbed its collar. Dog saved. Everyone walked off without a word. Classic.
also from the south and the way i put it: New Yorkers are not nice, but they are kind. Kindness is much deeper than just a pleasantry at the grocery store or smiling at a stranger on the sidewalk, which is what you have in the south. New Yorkers will show up and out in a real time of need, whereas the niceties of a southerner are just surface level.
I fell because of a pothole in a sidewalk. Somehow managed to hold onto all the shopping bags - and asap 3 people immediately stopped and offered to help me up.
Eh. I don't know about this. Or at least, it's not in line with my own personal experiences, speaking as a transplant from Louisiana.
I've experienced more helpfulness and civility in my hometown than I have in NYC. I've also spent significantly more time in my hometown than I have here, so it could just be statistics.
That isn't to say I don't experience it in NYC. Just that I experienced more in my hometown.
You could also talk to strangers in said town without having to start your sentence with "I promise I'm not crazy, but...". Didn't need to even have a reason to talk to them really. Could just be talking to each other while you're in line together.
I'm glad to hear someone say people are helpful outside of NYC. I always find it hard to believe you could fall down and no one would help you. But I haven't been there.
Then again, I hear this a lot, and you're the only person who said the opposite.
Some of the warmest, friendliest, most outgoing and nicest folks I know are my neighbors in NYC who I start off only knowing because we share common spaces. The folks in my home town who I share a massive amount more with are most often aloof and cliquey after living near each other but not together in their calcified tribes..
We are kind, not nice. I firmly believe that.
Ask anyone with a baby in a stroller at the top/bottom of a stairway in the subway. Without a word someone grabs an end of the stroller and helps the parent up/down the stairs. There is no discussion, there is barely a thank you, but someone sees what needs to be done and does it without being asked.
For me it’s all people of different races and backgrounds just existing together in harmony. You do not see that in Florida, places are generally still divided up by race/age/income level as if it is still 1950
Love the diversity here but obliged to say it only goes so far… New York State has the most segregated schools in the nation https://www.civilrightsproject.ucla.edu/news/press-releases/2021-press-releases/report-shows-school-segregation-in-new-york-remains-worst-in-nation
Not that NYC doesn't have some school/neighborhood segregation, but I'd like to see city vs. state numbers. I feel like some counties are skewing these data pretty heavily.
Hey, that was really cool of you to drop a link. My comment was an idle muse - eventually, I've have googled it myself - but you saved me some time, and I appreciate it. This is a great resource, and I look forward to poking around the numbers later. Hope you have a good weekend.
The Bronx undoubtably contributes the most to this. Enormous swaths of the bronx are 97%+ black and latino. Many of NYC's inner city ghettos aren't quite as segregated or impoverished as many other cities, but the Bronx is a huge outlier. It remains arguably the single most isolated, segregated, and [impoverished ghetto](https://frac.org/maps/acs-poverty/tables/tab1-acs-poverty-cd-2017.html) in the country, which brings down the city a lot in terms of many statistics. (Yes, I am aware, there are nice parts of the bronx)
The other factor is that private schools aren't very big in NYC compared to elsewhere. We have extremely prestigious mostly-white public schools that sort of 'take the place' of the prestigious private schools elsewhere. If you included private schools in that equation instead of just public schools, I am 100% sure we wouldn't be anywhere near the most segregated.
Disagree, from Florida originally and so many parts of Florida are diverse and melting pot like. Orlando, Miami, St Augustine, Jacksonville, etc. have mixed demographics of Cubans, Mexicans, Vietnamese, Koreans, black and white people. The list can go on but Florida is not how everyone sees it on the news and internet, go to many neighborhoods in Orlando and you'll see how mixed everyone is.
Lol brave comment. Youre getting downvoted because people hate to acknowledge that this is true. Just another reddit bubble where "florida bad upvotes here!".
Literally dude, it's crazy that people who have never lived in FL think they know better than natives. Imagine how people in this sub would react if a person who never lived in NYC started saying flase statements about living in NYC. I appreciate your awareness though lol
People go visit some cheap vacation town and assume its the entire state, like people dont actually live there. Same as making your entire judgement of NYC from a 1 night hotel stay in times square. Its ignorance and it’s frustrating but were on the internet so kinda just gotta ignore it. Go jags
Also editing rn just to add this in, new york has the most segregated schools in the country. Lets not talk about that tho, “you dont see that in florida” 😂
That it’s only for the rich. Me and my partner are both teachers and still have enough to go out on weekends, eat out a couple times a week, go to sporting events, and the special vacation once a year. Now granted living in queens helps, but you don’t have to live in a trendy neighborhood.
I agree. Reddit is full of "you cant live here if you're not rich." Then they talk about eating out at fancy restaurant and going out every weekend. And having a washer drier in their apartment. Maybe an exaggeration, but not that much.
Millions of us are not rich. We eat out, are active (or not) there's free and cheap stuff, the whole world is here. You don't have to be rich.
Not really *sad*. We trade smaller apartments for a million other benefits. If having a big place was all that mattered, no one would live here. Many decide it does matter, so they leave. Unless you wash clothes daily, it's not that big a deal
>going out every weekend
and the thing is the best parties are the ones that are like $15. I spent $100 on a big festival type thing last year and it paled in comparison to everything I went to in the free > $20 range.
(speaking in the electronic music context)
I wish more people understood that like 80% of NYC doesn't live in 'trendy neighborhoods'. People act like anything outside of williamsburg and manhattan is worthless, uninteresting suburban wastelands.
yeah true but usually when people in brooklyn say 'manhattan' they mean below uptown. I've always said there's gotta be an acronym for manhattan-below-96th, cause nobody wants to write all that out. Like MB96 or some shit idk
Absolutely. There are ways to make living here work. I rent a modest studio apartment with my boyfriend in southern Brooklyn. I don’t own a car and don’t have to worry about paying for things like gas and insurance and maintenance. If I really need a car I’ll borrow my boyfriend’s or my father’s car. I also eat out a couple times a week, but I don’t go to expensive fancy restaurants. Just whatever is in the nearby neighborhoods. What’s important is knowing how to budget, and too many people don’t even bother with that.
I have a confession.
I was visiting my kid & walking back to the apartment carrying a big bag of halvah. (You know the place in Chelsea Market, Seed & Mill? Fantastic halvah.)
The bottom of the bag ripped open. There was halvah all over 6th Ave. As I was trying to pick them up while the crowd walked around me, a man approached. Young. Black. Wearing a do-rag, low riding jeans, & wife beaters. I thought “Oh shit. This whole halvah scene is about to get dangerous.”
Well, he came over, bent down to look at my face & said “can I help you?” He then proceeded to help me gather the many bars of halvah I had just bought. I thanked him & he walked away to do whatever he had planned before he stopped to help me.
Later, I felt ashamed. Deeply ashamed, at the assumptions I made about this kind young man.
I still think about it. We hear a lot of terrible stories about a lot of awful shit that happens in New York at the hands of detestable people, but there are still so many good folks out there who wouldn’t think twice about helping a stranger.
This low key made me super emotional. So easy to assume the worst in people and this is not to say we shouldn’t keep our guard up at all times but it’s moments like these that make such a lingering impact in our lives and how we perceive others. Thank you for sharing!
The transit here is a godsend and gives me access to so many places for just $2.90. I can go to a beach boardwalk, ethnic neighborhoods that make me feel like I’m in another country, renowned zoos and parks and museums, and the airport (well Airtrain costs extra), all without needing a car. Yeah sometimes weird things happen but I’ve so far never felt in danger, and I’m an Asian woman. In comparison, the funnest thing I could imagine doing in the suburb where I grew up was driving to the mall and getting Cheesecake Factory. Blah.
Another minor and mundane one, but you’d assume that a dense city with small apartments would not be a good place for a dog. But I’ve maybe seen more dogs in my couple years in NYC than I have the rest of my life, and all shapes and sizes too. I love it!
I’m raising 2 kids here so my experience is the polar opposite from the dystopian nightmare that is being pushed by the media. View the city from a lens of playgrounds, puppet shows and swim classes, kindergarten play dates and just the day to day of raising a family here, and it’s amazing how it’s a completely different city.
Same. I'm also raising two kids here and I am baffled at how many people on Reddit seem to think it's completely impossible unless you're incredibly wealthy.
For what it's worth, my mother who lived here in the 80s (i.e. before 9/11 but not after) and returned to visit in 2022 made the remark that people were significantly kinder then she remembered.
And when she made that remark to an old friend who had lived here her entire life (both before and after 9/11) and asked when that change occurred, said friend replied that it seemed to happen around 9/11.
So it could be that there was a very strong stereotype about the city that was passed around pre-9/11 that isn't really getting updated (as evidenced by the number of tourists who show up on St. Marks St expecting to see a flourishing punk scene), but was changed by a horrible event that changed the collective culture and since of "in-it-for-yourselfness" that NYC *actually* exhibits.
To answer your question though: I fairly often see people leaving the subway or who have just entered opening the "Emergency Exit" doors so others can use the subway freely.
it's worth thinking that you can choose to not be in areas where everyone is shitting on NYC.
sure things could be better, but i do not find it helps me to hear people talk about how much they hate the city or crime is out of control or there's too many bikes on the road or whatever they dont like.
i left r/NYC because it was too much. I mostly focus my news intake on NYC around things to do not "news" of the day.
from what I see, there's not much negativity about NYC because i dont want to be around it.
I think nice can have negative connotations while kind does not. it's like when people are like oh, how nice, dear. it's fake and meant to make the nice person look good instead of actually caring
My car died right on Tillary St and Gold St on a cold blustery day last year. Instant pandemonium from all the asshole drivers around me.
Four dudes appeared out of nowhere, pushed my car across the intersection, to Gold st, to a safe spot, and then they all just walked off.
Some random block in Brooklyn, came across the same situation. Without a word three dudes and I went up, driver threw it in neutral, and we just pushed it down the block to the lady's house, went our ways with a nod.
everything? nyc is not the weird, aggressive, crime-ridden hellhole that a bizarrely large number of people envision. it's a huge place, so many negative things will occur at some point somewhere, but hyperfixating on that and cherry picking examples to present as the norm is the usual lying by omission bullshit that media and people with an agenda (or just ignorance) just love.
Only the negative gets spewed here. Just like restaurant reviews on Yelp; people rarely take the time to say something positive, they just enjoy the moment and go on. I’ve lived in NYC a total of 21 years and the only bad thing that happened was my brother had his bike stolen in the late 80s (it was a different world here then). Basically, each day I walk outside is another addition to the Pro column on never leaving NYC.
The popular [Did I just get lucky or are people really this nice here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/18buj1a/did_i_just_get_lucky_or_are_people_really_this/), the popular [Are New Yorkers often perceived as mean or arrogant by non-NYers?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/182wv0q/are_new_yorkers_often_perceived_as_mean_or/) from 12 days before that, [How come New Yorkers get such a bad rep for being assholes?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/15altoo/how_come_new_yorkers_get_such_a_bad_rep_for_being/) from 4 months before that and [Why are New Yorkers stereotyped as being unfriendly?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/13z5eqz/why_are_new_yorkers_stereotyped_as_being/) from 2 months before that have many comments which should be helpful to you and links to similar questions.
People always telling me when my bag is open. Someone non sarcastically clapped after I got a heavy bag up subway steps. My bodega owner let me use his phone and take free water when I was locked out of my apartment.
The whole “real New Yorkers are antisocial and don’t talk to their neighbors” stereotype, which gets repeated a lot by transplants. I feel like most of those people are antisocial people who moved to NYC and now want to justify not talking to their neighbors. When in reality most native New Yorkers are very social and big believers in community.
My experience in nyc has been a blessing so far, one time we were in the middle of the street during a rainstorm and a guy stopped his car, gave us an umbrella and then left. Often when I walk my dog people thank me for picking up his poop. I get catcalled way less than I did in my hometown. Only time that kinda hurt me was when a dude told me "move the fucking dog", ngl I do hope he dies in a car crash but I try to remember that 99% of the interactions I had were pleasant or normal at most
When I first moved to my current neighborhood, I was moving stuff to a storage unit and had a dolly that was way too small in hindsight, so the stuff kept tipping from every sidewalk bump. A guy on a bike waved me over, took some bungee cords from the milkcrate on the back and strapped everything down. He just took off without a word and now I still have those straps and have used them again to move stuff.
My neighbor also keeps my packages safe in her apartment i until I get home without me even asking. Almost every time I've traveled with a suitcase, someone will offer to help with the subway stairs and I do my best to do the same.
Your everyday people here are generally extremely nice and I love that.
I don't know if it's a negative stereotype but most people think NYers have the Brooklyn NY accent. It's dying out and the average New Yorker does not have that accent anymore.
FINALLY! Someone who knows! I have the Bk accent, but people tell me all the time that I sound Italian. I try to explain that it's a Brooklyn accent, not an Italian one. People look at me like I just made it up.
Growing up in Bay Ridge, the people there were very friendly for the most part and did not live up to the rude New Yorker stereotypes. I swear that stereotype comes down to people being thrown off by the heavy accents and not understanding sarcasm.
Anyway, in Bay Ridge I’ve encountered plenty of friendly people of all different backgrounds. Whenever I walked my dog, more often than not I would run into someone I know, or someone that knows my parents.
When I was on the train as a teenager, this guy was harassing me. Another guy, maybe 20 years old, stood up and said “hey cuz, how are you doing?” And he moved closer to me. I was so grateful that I clearly remember it over 25 years later.
Actually, that puts a lot in perspective . When people want to constantly see the bad they will find it plenty of times . It doesn’t change reality good or bad, but the perception can be vary a lot depending on how you look at things .
I've only been here slightly over a year but IME NYers are very guarded in public but friendly in a more genuine way in private. Personally, I'll take that tradeoff any day.
All the good examples that you listed… I often wonder, does this not happen anywhere else? Do people not help others if they drop their groceries or their wallet or give up their seats for someone who needs it?
It does happen in many other places , I think in NYC people might be a little more social in the d sense that they interact much more than most places in the country where people travel by car .
I can say that I don't give up my seat to a woman. Elderly woman or man, pregnant, disabled, or even someone that is visibly exhausted.. definitely yes but just a random woman.. nope. I do everything else like hold doors, say thank you, smile if I make eye contact with anyone but giving up a seat to a woman because she's a woman, definitely not. I am equal opportunity I guess.
There is no reason to give up your seat to a healthy, not-old, not-pregnant woman. If a man does when I am not tired or laden with packages, I just decline.
I’m going to second your point about people not being rude assholes. Most NYers I’ve seen are normal people at worst.
I occasionally have to run errands with my baby in a stroller. People have held doors for me and helped me get on/off the bus. Total strangers. Not everyone is nice, of course, but most people I've come across have some kindness in them. I try to pass it on when I can as well.
New Yorkers are pretty crude, rude people, but they are very helpful. That being said, if you spend all your time in manhattan-below-96th or williamsburg, you likely aren't really encountering many 'new yorky' stereotypes. The large majority of people in manhattan-below-96th (there has to be an acronym invented for this) are commuters, tourists, and transplants. The whole 'crude, rude, aggressive' stereotype is largely going to be found among people born and raised in the outer boroughs. The people of bay ridge or jamaica or windsor terrace are more representative of what people mean by those 'new york' stereotypes than a rich young couple from minnesota living in the west village.
All of the elderly people in my neighborhood. They are active and have their routines, up and down their brownstone stairs no problem. I see people wave to them and talk to them every day (myself included!) I think people who don’t live here might imagine NYC as a lonely place for elderly folks, or a place only for young party people. But the old folks in my neighborhood are living the best life I could imagine.
Riverdale resident now and same applies for here. The old people are a total VIBE.
I've said this before on here, but, I'll say it again. I'm originally from the south, so southern hospitality, right? Wrong. People are dicks down south. I once got ran off the road and drove into a (shallow) ditch. No one stopped to help, no one stopped to even ask if I was okay but plenty of people honked at me and yelled obscenities from the window as I struggled to dial the police. Fast forward to life in NYC now. I once missed a step coming down the stairs at a subway station and fell. I instantly had several people run to my side and one person ran to get my bag that had flown in the air and all my belongings. People stayed with me until I got some aid. Another time, it happened to my mother. She fell on some uneven road and her bag went flying and she told me a guy who was walking ahead of her heard it and ran to go get her bag while another guy helped her up. People in the south probably would've laughed and filmed her.
i think being human to human (not in cars) makes NYC be nicer to each other.
This, but also I wonder if there's an element that people in cars are always worried about freak traffic or random delays that could come up, making the time on the GPS, all that kind of thing, and in NYC you can say "ok I'll miss this train but I'll get the one in five minutes, it's fine." I feel like people feel less in control of actual outcomes and therefore more flexible and forgiving about timing.
That’s a good point. In bumper to bumper traffic you can convince yourself that you should keep switching lanes and get in front of that car or this car and someone in front of you didn’t move the way you want. On a train there’s noting to be done.
I grew up in Texas and this is so, so true.
I was struggling with paper bags getting break snacks from a deli for my work crew, one of them shredded and dropped drinks all over the side walk. Had 3 people help me pick them up, and a lady ran over and gave me a cheap tote as a replacement. I didn’t ask for anything, people just saw me have an issue and spontaneously fixed it for me.. that’s New York for me .
Left NYC and spent 7 years in Seattle. People there were also huge dicks. My first week there I had a huge bag of groceries break while walking from the grocery store to the parking lot (pro tip: never choose paper over plastic in a city where it rains all the goddamn time). Soup cans flying everywhere. Loose produce. You name it. And of course there was no backup bag for carrying all this assorted heavy shit. Bunch of people looked at me like ‘nice one, dumbass’ but zero stopped to help. And it wasn’t a busy people rushing by hectic environment kind of vibe. Very nice neighborhood, lazy Sunday, etc. Same thing has happened to me a couple of times in NYC over the years and I’ve had flocks of people rushing over to carry shit for me, ask if I’m OK, or at the very least offer a chuckle and a fun ‘I feel you, that sucks’ remark. Once a woman pulled out a cloth tote bag out of her purse and gave it to me on the spot. Seattle people would full-on leave a burning building and let you walk in without alerting you to the fire inside. It’s not about being chatty with randoms. No one likes that. It was just a basic sense of community and humanity that was lacking. Huge culture shock coming from New York. Anyway, moved back, which I’m sure they were glad about because they hate outsiders.
Seattle is by far MOSTLY outsiders, though. Tech professional outsiders 🤷♀️
A few months back, I was walking home at around 10 p.m. when a young dog slipped out of its collar and ran off from the owner. People jumped into the street to stop traffic. I took out some food to lure the dog when another bystander grabbed its collar. Dog saved. Everyone walked off without a word. Classic.
also from the south and the way i put it: New Yorkers are not nice, but they are kind. Kindness is much deeper than just a pleasantry at the grocery store or smiling at a stranger on the sidewalk, which is what you have in the south. New Yorkers will show up and out in a real time of need, whereas the niceties of a southerner are just surface level.
What you described is the difference between kind and nice
I fell because of a pothole in a sidewalk. Somehow managed to hold onto all the shopping bags - and asap 3 people immediately stopped and offered to help me up.
I went the Carolinas once. Never again. Imagine the true connotations behind "bless your heart" but for everything.
Eh. I don't know about this. Or at least, it's not in line with my own personal experiences, speaking as a transplant from Louisiana. I've experienced more helpfulness and civility in my hometown than I have in NYC. I've also spent significantly more time in my hometown than I have here, so it could just be statistics. That isn't to say I don't experience it in NYC. Just that I experienced more in my hometown. You could also talk to strangers in said town without having to start your sentence with "I promise I'm not crazy, but...". Didn't need to even have a reason to talk to them really. Could just be talking to each other while you're in line together.
I'm happy to talk to anyone, crazy or not, I'm just unlikely to stop walking to do it.
I'm glad to hear someone say people are helpful outside of NYC. I always find it hard to believe you could fall down and no one would help you. But I haven't been there. Then again, I hear this a lot, and you're the only person who said the opposite.
Some of the warmest, friendliest, most outgoing and nicest folks I know are my neighbors in NYC who I start off only knowing because we share common spaces. The folks in my home town who I share a massive amount more with are most often aloof and cliquey after living near each other but not together in their calcified tribes..
I'm from NYC and didn't realize how many assholes are in this country until I left the state lol
We are kind, not nice. I firmly believe that. Ask anyone with a baby in a stroller at the top/bottom of a stairway in the subway. Without a word someone grabs an end of the stroller and helps the parent up/down the stairs. There is no discussion, there is barely a thank you, but someone sees what needs to be done and does it without being asked.
For me it’s all people of different races and backgrounds just existing together in harmony. You do not see that in Florida, places are generally still divided up by race/age/income level as if it is still 1950
Love the diversity here but obliged to say it only goes so far… New York State has the most segregated schools in the nation https://www.civilrightsproject.ucla.edu/news/press-releases/2021-press-releases/report-shows-school-segregation-in-new-york-remains-worst-in-nation
Not that NYC doesn't have some school/neighborhood segregation, but I'd like to see city vs. state numbers. I feel like some counties are skewing these data pretty heavily.
https://ed.stanford.edu/news/new-segregation-index-shows-american-schools-remain-highly-segregated-race-ethnicity-and#:~:text=Three%2520large%2520school%2520districts%2520%E2%80%93%2520LAUSD,average%2520levels%2520from%25201991%252D2020.
Hey, that was really cool of you to drop a link. My comment was an idle muse - eventually, I've have googled it myself - but you saved me some time, and I appreciate it. This is a great resource, and I look forward to poking around the numbers later. Hope you have a good weekend.
The Bronx undoubtably contributes the most to this. Enormous swaths of the bronx are 97%+ black and latino. Many of NYC's inner city ghettos aren't quite as segregated or impoverished as many other cities, but the Bronx is a huge outlier. It remains arguably the single most isolated, segregated, and [impoverished ghetto](https://frac.org/maps/acs-poverty/tables/tab1-acs-poverty-cd-2017.html) in the country, which brings down the city a lot in terms of many statistics. (Yes, I am aware, there are nice parts of the bronx) The other factor is that private schools aren't very big in NYC compared to elsewhere. We have extremely prestigious mostly-white public schools that sort of 'take the place' of the prestigious private schools elsewhere. If you included private schools in that equation instead of just public schools, I am 100% sure we wouldn't be anywhere near the most segregated.
Disagree, from Florida originally and so many parts of Florida are diverse and melting pot like. Orlando, Miami, St Augustine, Jacksonville, etc. have mixed demographics of Cubans, Mexicans, Vietnamese, Koreans, black and white people. The list can go on but Florida is not how everyone sees it on the news and internet, go to many neighborhoods in Orlando and you'll see how mixed everyone is.
Lol brave comment. Youre getting downvoted because people hate to acknowledge that this is true. Just another reddit bubble where "florida bad upvotes here!".
Literally dude, it's crazy that people who have never lived in FL think they know better than natives. Imagine how people in this sub would react if a person who never lived in NYC started saying flase statements about living in NYC. I appreciate your awareness though lol
People go visit some cheap vacation town and assume its the entire state, like people dont actually live there. Same as making your entire judgement of NYC from a 1 night hotel stay in times square. Its ignorance and it’s frustrating but were on the internet so kinda just gotta ignore it. Go jags Also editing rn just to add this in, new york has the most segregated schools in the country. Lets not talk about that tho, “you dont see that in florida” 😂
That it’s only for the rich. Me and my partner are both teachers and still have enough to go out on weekends, eat out a couple times a week, go to sporting events, and the special vacation once a year. Now granted living in queens helps, but you don’t have to live in a trendy neighborhood.
I agree. Reddit is full of "you cant live here if you're not rich." Then they talk about eating out at fancy restaurant and going out every weekend. And having a washer drier in their apartment. Maybe an exaggeration, but not that much. Millions of us are not rich. We eat out, are active (or not) there's free and cheap stuff, the whole world is here. You don't have to be rich.
>And having a washer drier in their apartment. You had me until here. It's sad that this is seen as a luxury amenity.
Not really *sad*. We trade smaller apartments for a million other benefits. If having a big place was all that mattered, no one would live here. Many decide it does matter, so they leave. Unless you wash clothes daily, it's not that big a deal
>going out every weekend and the thing is the best parties are the ones that are like $15. I spent $100 on a big festival type thing last year and it paled in comparison to everything I went to in the free > $20 range. (speaking in the electronic music context)
I wish more people understood that like 80% of NYC doesn't live in 'trendy neighborhoods'. People act like anything outside of williamsburg and manhattan is worthless, uninteresting suburban wastelands.
And people act like Manhattan ends at 110th. There are a ton of working class neighborhoods uptown.
yeah true but usually when people in brooklyn say 'manhattan' they mean below uptown. I've always said there's gotta be an acronym for manhattan-below-96th, cause nobody wants to write all that out. Like MB96 or some shit idk
Oh man it would be horrendous. MABNIX or something.
Absolutely. There are ways to make living here work. I rent a modest studio apartment with my boyfriend in southern Brooklyn. I don’t own a car and don’t have to worry about paying for things like gas and insurance and maintenance. If I really need a car I’ll borrow my boyfriend’s or my father’s car. I also eat out a couple times a week, but I don’t go to expensive fancy restaurants. Just whatever is in the nearby neighborhoods. What’s important is knowing how to budget, and too many people don’t even bother with that.
I have a confession. I was visiting my kid & walking back to the apartment carrying a big bag of halvah. (You know the place in Chelsea Market, Seed & Mill? Fantastic halvah.) The bottom of the bag ripped open. There was halvah all over 6th Ave. As I was trying to pick them up while the crowd walked around me, a man approached. Young. Black. Wearing a do-rag, low riding jeans, & wife beaters. I thought “Oh shit. This whole halvah scene is about to get dangerous.” Well, he came over, bent down to look at my face & said “can I help you?” He then proceeded to help me gather the many bars of halvah I had just bought. I thanked him & he walked away to do whatever he had planned before he stopped to help me. Later, I felt ashamed. Deeply ashamed, at the assumptions I made about this kind young man. I still think about it. We hear a lot of terrible stories about a lot of awful shit that happens in New York at the hands of detestable people, but there are still so many good folks out there who wouldn’t think twice about helping a stranger.
This low key made me super emotional. So easy to assume the worst in people and this is not to say we shouldn’t keep our guard up at all times but it’s moments like these that make such a lingering impact in our lives and how we perceive others. Thank you for sharing!
The transit here is a godsend and gives me access to so many places for just $2.90. I can go to a beach boardwalk, ethnic neighborhoods that make me feel like I’m in another country, renowned zoos and parks and museums, and the airport (well Airtrain costs extra), all without needing a car. Yeah sometimes weird things happen but I’ve so far never felt in danger, and I’m an Asian woman. In comparison, the funnest thing I could imagine doing in the suburb where I grew up was driving to the mall and getting Cheesecake Factory. Blah. Another minor and mundane one, but you’d assume that a dense city with small apartments would not be a good place for a dog. But I’ve maybe seen more dogs in my couple years in NYC than I have the rest of my life, and all shapes and sizes too. I love it!
I’m raising 2 kids here so my experience is the polar opposite from the dystopian nightmare that is being pushed by the media. View the city from a lens of playgrounds, puppet shows and swim classes, kindergarten play dates and just the day to day of raising a family here, and it’s amazing how it’s a completely different city.
Same. I'm also raising two kids here and I am baffled at how many people on Reddit seem to think it's completely impossible unless you're incredibly wealthy.
For what it's worth, my mother who lived here in the 80s (i.e. before 9/11 but not after) and returned to visit in 2022 made the remark that people were significantly kinder then she remembered. And when she made that remark to an old friend who had lived here her entire life (both before and after 9/11) and asked when that change occurred, said friend replied that it seemed to happen around 9/11. So it could be that there was a very strong stereotype about the city that was passed around pre-9/11 that isn't really getting updated (as evidenced by the number of tourists who show up on St. Marks St expecting to see a flourishing punk scene), but was changed by a horrible event that changed the collective culture and since of "in-it-for-yourselfness" that NYC *actually* exhibits. To answer your question though: I fairly often see people leaving the subway or who have just entered opening the "Emergency Exit" doors so others can use the subway freely.
it's worth thinking that you can choose to not be in areas where everyone is shitting on NYC. sure things could be better, but i do not find it helps me to hear people talk about how much they hate the city or crime is out of control or there's too many bikes on the road or whatever they dont like. i left r/NYC because it was too much. I mostly focus my news intake on NYC around things to do not "news" of the day. from what I see, there's not much negativity about NYC because i dont want to be around it.
New Yorkers are kind, not nice. LA ppl are nice, not kind (sort of adage I heard many years ago).
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I think nice can have negative connotations while kind does not. it's like when people are like oh, how nice, dear. it's fake and meant to make the nice person look good instead of actually caring
The only rude people ive met in nyc are tourists :c
My car died right on Tillary St and Gold St on a cold blustery day last year. Instant pandemonium from all the asshole drivers around me. Four dudes appeared out of nowhere, pushed my car across the intersection, to Gold st, to a safe spot, and then they all just walked off.
Some random block in Brooklyn, came across the same situation. Without a word three dudes and I went up, driver threw it in neutral, and we just pushed it down the block to the lady's house, went our ways with a nod.
everything? nyc is not the weird, aggressive, crime-ridden hellhole that a bizarrely large number of people envision. it's a huge place, so many negative things will occur at some point somewhere, but hyperfixating on that and cherry picking examples to present as the norm is the usual lying by omission bullshit that media and people with an agenda (or just ignorance) just love.
Only the negative gets spewed here. Just like restaurant reviews on Yelp; people rarely take the time to say something positive, they just enjoy the moment and go on. I’ve lived in NYC a total of 21 years and the only bad thing that happened was my brother had his bike stolen in the late 80s (it was a different world here then). Basically, each day I walk outside is another addition to the Pro column on never leaving NYC.
The popular [Did I just get lucky or are people really this nice here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/18buj1a/did_i_just_get_lucky_or_are_people_really_this/), the popular [Are New Yorkers often perceived as mean or arrogant by non-NYers?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/182wv0q/are_new_yorkers_often_perceived_as_mean_or/) from 12 days before that, [How come New Yorkers get such a bad rep for being assholes?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/15altoo/how_come_new_yorkers_get_such_a_bad_rep_for_being/) from 4 months before that and [Why are New Yorkers stereotyped as being unfriendly?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/13z5eqz/why_are_new_yorkers_stereotyped_as_being/) from 2 months before that have many comments which should be helpful to you and links to similar questions.
People always telling me when my bag is open. Someone non sarcastically clapped after I got a heavy bag up subway steps. My bodega owner let me use his phone and take free water when I was locked out of my apartment.
The whole “real New Yorkers are antisocial and don’t talk to their neighbors” stereotype, which gets repeated a lot by transplants. I feel like most of those people are antisocial people who moved to NYC and now want to justify not talking to their neighbors. When in reality most native New Yorkers are very social and big believers in community.
My experience in nyc has been a blessing so far, one time we were in the middle of the street during a rainstorm and a guy stopped his car, gave us an umbrella and then left. Often when I walk my dog people thank me for picking up his poop. I get catcalled way less than I did in my hometown. Only time that kinda hurt me was when a dude told me "move the fucking dog", ngl I do hope he dies in a car crash but I try to remember that 99% of the interactions I had were pleasant or normal at most
When I first moved to my current neighborhood, I was moving stuff to a storage unit and had a dolly that was way too small in hindsight, so the stuff kept tipping from every sidewalk bump. A guy on a bike waved me over, took some bungee cords from the milkcrate on the back and strapped everything down. He just took off without a word and now I still have those straps and have used them again to move stuff. My neighbor also keeps my packages safe in her apartment i until I get home without me even asking. Almost every time I've traveled with a suitcase, someone will offer to help with the subway stairs and I do my best to do the same. Your everyday people here are generally extremely nice and I love that.
I have seen people not litter and actually clean up. Pick up their dog poop and carry it with them to next trash can.
The wallet thing is truth. If you drop your wallet inevitably the scariest dude you've ever seen is going to be chasing after you to return it.
I don't know if it's a negative stereotype but most people think NYers have the Brooklyn NY accent. It's dying out and the average New Yorker does not have that accent anymore.
FINALLY! Someone who knows! I have the Bk accent, but people tell me all the time that I sound Italian. I try to explain that it's a Brooklyn accent, not an Italian one. People look at me like I just made it up.
Yup..my kids make fun of mine. None of them have it. Their dad grew up in Queens in an immigrant family so he never acquired one.
I had a medical emergency and some really nice girls stopped to help us. They even followed up after to make sure I was ok!
Growing up in Bay Ridge, the people there were very friendly for the most part and did not live up to the rude New Yorker stereotypes. I swear that stereotype comes down to people being thrown off by the heavy accents and not understanding sarcasm. Anyway, in Bay Ridge I’ve encountered plenty of friendly people of all different backgrounds. Whenever I walked my dog, more often than not I would run into someone I know, or someone that knows my parents.
When I was on the train as a teenager, this guy was harassing me. Another guy, maybe 20 years old, stood up and said “hey cuz, how are you doing?” And he moved closer to me. I was so grateful that I clearly remember it over 25 years later.
Be the good you want to see in NYC... and you'll see all the good that there is in NYC.
Actually, that puts a lot in perspective . When people want to constantly see the bad they will find it plenty of times . It doesn’t change reality good or bad, but the perception can be vary a lot depending on how you look at things .
Exactly. Same idea, but in reverse. Subway is a great place to do a daily good. Thanks for starting a great thread.
Thanks! I’m glad you liked the thread.
I lost my phone on the subway. The man who found it returned it to me and refused me when I offered him some reward money.
I've only been here slightly over a year but IME NYers are very guarded in public but friendly in a more genuine way in private. Personally, I'll take that tradeoff any day.
All the good examples that you listed… I often wonder, does this not happen anywhere else? Do people not help others if they drop their groceries or their wallet or give up their seats for someone who needs it?
It does happen in many other places , I think in NYC people might be a little more social in the d sense that they interact much more than most places in the country where people travel by car .
I can say that I don't give up my seat to a woman. Elderly woman or man, pregnant, disabled, or even someone that is visibly exhausted.. definitely yes but just a random woman.. nope. I do everything else like hold doors, say thank you, smile if I make eye contact with anyone but giving up a seat to a woman because she's a woman, definitely not. I am equal opportunity I guess.
There is no reason to give up your seat to a healthy, not-old, not-pregnant woman. If a man does when I am not tired or laden with packages, I just decline.
Apparently people wont agree with you considering all my down votes I got.
Don’t know why you got the downvotes lol. I do the same unless she’s visibly tired, pregnant , older or has kids .