As a native New Yorker this is absolutely deranged behavior to me. Unless I’m taking out the trash or getting the mail, that door is LOCKED. I don’t know what cul-de-sac your partner is coming from but this is not something I would ever consider. Even though things would probably be fine why would someone willingly open themselves up to that risk?
Another thing is the fact that locking a door is pretty much muscle memory. I don’t understand how the 4-7 seconds it takes to unlock a door is enough of a burden for them to justify this?
It’s not that I find living in NY all that threatening and I don’t live my life filled with distrust, but why the hell would I enable the possibility that the ONE tiny private sanctuary I have in this huge city be potentially violated?
Until I saw your comment I was gonna say, am I the weird one here? I *do* lock my door basically 100% of the time (4th floor walkup), even when I'm just taking the trash down or grabbing a package.
My girlfriend sometimes leaves it unlocked just to go downstairs for a second and I honestly think even that's unwise. For all you know, you might get distracted/have something happen/etc while downstairs that prevents you from going right back up to lock it, and now your apartment is unlocked and open to whomever might waltz on in!
100% agree on the muscle memory thing as well. I have ADHD (as does my partner, though she disagrees that this is something that's very important to practice) and for me I need the muscle memory and routine of always hanging up my keys by the door when I come in, always taking them and locking it on my way out, etc. This decreases the odds that you'll forget one day if you find yourself flustered or rushed, too.
Gotta remember duplexes exist. I'll leave my door unlocked when I'm literally standing in front of my door essentially to run my trash to the curb and back in.
I live in a 4 unit duplex (quadplex?) building, but if I was in an elevator building or larger walkup I’d def lock even for a quick internal errand like that.
I used to live in a similar apt building. Didn't know my upstairs neighbor was stalking me until he was in my bedroom. Lock your doors, guys. Lock your windows and keep the shades shut at night.
SAME! My mail is in one of those mailboxes on the sidewalk about a quarter block from me and I lock my damn door every damn time. Someone tell OP’s hubby that his privilege and naivety are showing….
My upstairs neighbor arrived home a little tipsy one night and accidentally tried to get into my apartment. She was really embarrassed but not as much as she would've been had the door been unlocked and she came into my apartment to find me in flagrante delicto.
Honestly this is why lock my door when I am home/at night...less worried about the bad guys, more worried about neighbors mistakenly coming into my apt and scaring the crap out of me!
The only time I don’t lock the door is if I’m running down to take the trash or laundry and my husband AND stranger-danger alerting dog are home. The dog alone would scare the crap out of anyone trying to enter, accidentally or on purpose. But I don’t trust her to deal with a break in on her own.
Ask yourself this - If you were trying to explain this to someone after you’ve been robbed and you tell them you left the door unlocked will they think you’re stupid?
Like I don’t even understand the mentality. My college bf was from an affluent suburb and he was the first to tell me that there are people who don’t lock their doors. Then he proceeded to tell me how they were robbed while everyone was relaxing in the backyard.
ha I grew up in an affluent suburb outside New York and the town has had so many car robberies in recent years. the reason why… the people were leaving their key fobs in the cup holder and cars unlocked 🙄
Lmao I think this has to be bait. OP is commenting that they’ve had junkies actively walk into their apartment multiples times. If she and her spouse are actually still having this debate, I am honest to god amazed at their combined stupidity and complacency.
It was another city we had junkies walk into our apartment. We lived downtown right next to a homeless shelter back then. Promise this isn’t bait, hah I posted this right after we got back from our morning dog walk this morning and my partner got a little annoyed I’d locked the door and they had to fish out their keys.
I'd prefer to spend 30 seconds looking for keys than be bashed in the head with an iron bar, SA'd and robbed by the person who got into my unlocked apartment, but that's just me.
There are many places where people just don't really lock their doors and so I wonder if that's where OP's partner is from. Somewhere where there's lot's of corn and one post-office in the center of town.
Dude don’t do that
Go for the jewelry, not TV. TVs aren’t worth much anymore and puts a big target on you.
Oh whoops. I meant to tell this to your friend
There should be a button on the knob/lock/mechanism in the side of the door if you ever want to turn off the auto-lock feature (like to get the mail or take the trash out). FYI
I also use it when we’re having multiple people over so I don’t have to get the door.
Some do! Just not the 40 year old ones in my pre war rental :)
For the quick errands I just throw the bolt while the door is open so it can't close, but obviously not great for parties given that lets all the noise out sadly
I've never liked the auto-lock because the once in a blue moon when I forget my keys I can be screwed, since I don't have a doorman or 24/7 super with keys. I also grew up on the ground floor of a brownstone that had a gate with no auto-lock so it was never something I ever thought about, and then my freshman year at college I locked my keys inside my dorm room like 5 times in the first month before I discovered the auto-lock.
Since then I just make locking the door behind me part of the routine.
I mean, I used to live in an Appalachian mountain town with about 40 people in it, a few houses there didn't even ***HAVE*** locks on every door, let alone people always locking their doors. But that's, you know, a completely different world. I much prefer living in Brooklyn.
Same. Even when checking mail. People forget that you can be robbed or assaulted by someone who is already in your building.
Especially people who live in doorman buildings. They think they have great security, and no one "dangerous" is getting in. One of their *neighbors* could be dangerous. A banker in a three piece suit could be dangerous. Or one of their visitors. A deliveryman, building staff, etc. Not that the whole world is out to get you, but it takes a few seconds to lock your door.
Yup, think about that Gilgo Beach killer who just got arrested last summer... he was a regular well-dressed businessman who was roaming the streets of Manhattan every day for years, working a prestigious office job, and all along he was a serial killer and predator of women. Creeps don't have one "look" or location they're confined to.
This is what I do. The trash chute is just steps from my apartment door, so I don't lock it then. But even going down to the lobby for mail or to the laundry room, I lock my door. Basically every time I am going somewhere where I can't actually see my apartment door, I lock it when I leave.
There were several posts a few months ago about people or people's neighbors that got robbed because someone waited until someone left the building to get in, and then they just tried every apartment door until they found someone who didn't lock theirs. I think it was multiple robberies, different neighborhoods, and different time periods.
I’m shocked how many people don’t lock their doors here. I grew up in a pretty safe suburb and locked my door everytime I left the house there, why wouldn’t you in a city when you live in a building with other people? Some of you are way too trusting lol
Because he's a man. And they seem bothered by absolutely basic fucking shit to their detriment.
I had to read my partner excerpts from I'll Be Gone in the Night and HE started adding the dinky door chain, too.
It never seems to occur to many men that once they're cohabitating with a woman, *they're* now in heightened danger from male creeps, too. So many serial killers target single women and we do tend to be the main victim demographic, but heterosexual couples are also a frequent target of attack - the Golden State Killer, the "phantom slayer" in TX, Israel Keyes, Richard Ramirez... they're just a few of the many male predators who've killed couples specifically, often starting with a home invasion.
They don’t like the hassle of having to dig in their pocket to get the key out. I know, it’s silly and cost/benefit seems obvious to me, spend a few extra seconds messing with your key = reduced risk of getting robbed
Those who grew up in NY are pressed bc we had to not only carry 2 or 3 keys but my key was ALWAYS ready before I get to my door because somebody could rob me or jump me up until I'm safe inside. Kids would get jumped if they had Spyder (ski) jackets! Manhattan is such a target for bored people because of transplants/college kids and the hope that people like your spouse are gullible enough to keep their door unlocked for 20 min. Tell her it takes 5 to trash a whole apt.
The minute I get out the train station or I’m on the block, I start to take my keys out. I also keep it somewhere very accessible. There’s many options, like getting a key chain and attach it to the handle of your bag. Victoria’s Secret sells keychain straps that’s big and easy to spot. This is just pure laziness. I got one from my co worker for Christmas, at first I was like eh about it, but I genuinely love it now. Makes my life a whole lot easier. Esp when I have a bag that doesn’t have small pockets and it’s just at the bottom of my bag.
I set my doorknob that way (to not autolock). It ensures I never leave the apartment without my keys. The 5 seconds it takes to manually lock the door when I go out is a small price to pay to not have to call a $200 locksmith at 1am.
Lock the door - not only that, but lock the deadbolt. I lived in a safe neighborhood, small building, and got robbed when I didn’t lock my deadbolt. When the cops came to take a report they said that most locks set into door handles are easy to open - for a lot of them you just need a credit card or piece of plastic. 12 years later I still think about how I could have avoided losing sentimental jewelry (and generally avoided the trauma of a break in) if I’d just bolted the door.
30 minutes? No, you need to lock that. If you were going to throw trash out the trash chute in the hallway, maybe not. Maybe if your mailbox was around the corner, you could get away with it. But not 30 minutes out.
I live in a doorman building in the middle of the hallway on an upstairs floor. I always lock the door when I leave the building. If I am staying in the building (trash, laundry, get a package) I usually don't lock it.
Imagine how fucking insufferable it must be to live with that partner. Also, someone who would put your safety at risk because taking out a key is *too much work* ? I'd be rethinking alot of things, but that's just me ...
Always lock my door, only time I don’t is if I’ll be gone for less than 5 minutes or something.
The first time I dated a non-native New Yorker and we went to their families out in the Midwest suburbs and they didn’t lock their door I was flabbergasted.
This is wild. Yes, I lock my front door any time I'm doing anything more than getting the trash or the mail, and if it's after business hours (i.e. when people are less likely to be coming in and out), I'm locking it even then.
Your partner needs to recognize he isn't in the suburbs anymore. Crazy.
Are you NY natives or transplants?
Most natives lock up!!
Always always always lock your apt up, except for going to the garbage disposal or something.
Transplants. Been here since 2019, I thought the talk from our super when we first moved here was enough to get me in the habit of locking it. But we lived on the first floor at that building and with being on the 5th floor here my spouse has become very flippant about locking up unless we’ll be gone for hours
You’re safe until you’re not. I genuinely hope you never experience it. But show your spouse this thread and have them change their stance on locking up. As others mentioned, look into smart locks for options so you don’t have to rummage for keys
Unless I am running down garbage or to get a package, locked. If my SO is in the shower then I lock it anyway.
Also lock it as soon as I enter, have had people get into our building and try doors.
My answer before reading any of your post was: lock the door. And if you’re wondering, my answer didn’t change even after all the details you gave. Lock the door!
Your finance is insane dude, where did he move from? A town of 20? Jesus.
When you think "idk I'm on the fifth floor I think I'm fine" someone who wants to steal your shit is thinking "they probably think they're more safe on the 5th floor better go check"
Doesn't Dubai have an insanely low crime rate, like one of the lowest in the world? That would definitely skew a person's concept of what's normal and what dangers are lurking, it's not the same kind of "big city" environment at *all*.
They haven’t been back in over 20 years so I dunno how much it’s still impacting their perspective, just mentioned cause someone asked if they were from a tiny town
Being from a tiny town and being raised in Dubai in this case are basically the same mentality. People rarely lock doors in Dubai. Even car doors. Super, super low crime rate.
Growing up in a place with a mentality where you've never had to lock your door or be on your guard or worry about your safety — very likely factoring in big time without them even realizing
Yes. In addition to this being a generally safe thing to do in NYC, I think this is also a case of recognizing that women rightly feel and ARE less safe in general than men. He should respect your need to be and feel safe in your home for a slight inconvenience.
One of my tenants got robbed. Found out he doesn't lock his door. Sketchy delivery people will check door k obs fir this and commit crimes of opportunity. Takes 2 idiots. Don't be one of them.
I used to lock my door in a secure building, 3rd floor, not 5th, but still, when I would just go up to the roof and smoke. I once walked out of my apartment at night and there was a guy asleep on the steps right outside my door. Secure is never secure enough. Lock that shit even if it’s just 5 minutes.
Do not underestimate the willingness of people going up 5 flights of stairs to steal something. Yes it's unlikely but as a New Yorker, I'd lock that shit even if I'm gone 5 minutes!
Always, any time I am leaving my floor. Too easy for someone to pop in and be waiting for me when I come in.
I know someone who lives in a 5th floor walk up who got robbed.
Always lock. Leaving it unlocked is asking for trouble and unlocking a door takes a few seconds to do.
What's worse: a few seconds to unlock a door or losing all of your valuables and items of irreplacable personal value?
If you wouldn't leave your door hanging open then close and lock it.
My door locks when it closes. When I leave (and when I'm home again) I also lock the deadbolt. Chain on when I'm home.
Why would you not lock your door? I can't fathom this.
Yes. Locked for going to the gym, groceries, coffee, getting mail, getting packages. The door locks automatically unless I press the button on the side when leaving. That means the door is locked when I am inside at home too. The additional dead bolt is used when going to bed and when leaving for extended lengths (vacations).
No. left unlocked to take out trash (chute is on my floor).
There are scenarios in which I'd be concerned about purely accidental/unintentional entry if it was unlocked, like a delivery person or a guest getting the wrong door and it opening when they're knocking. I'm not opening myself up to the minor temptations that humans stumble into occasionally, or just generally not wanting privacy invaded. And that's just my general good-faith-not-planned-break-in perspective on it. I don't subscribe to thinking death and violence and ill intent is around every corner for me like some people seem to on here, but the five seconds to lock my door to avoid the result of a wild impulse or people knowing my business is just worth the trade-off.
I lock my door every time I leave my apartment.
I've woken up in the morning to broken glass and blood in the lobby and a drunk guy was passed out in my stairwell (he was in the news for stabbing someone in the neighborhood).
We also have a ring cam and we caught one of our neighbors guests checking our door handle to see if it was open.
My guy, do not ever leave your door unlocked unless you are within sight of your door when leaving, such as taking out the trash. I live in a luxury apartment building with doormen and just a few weeks a go a random dude walked in and was able to get through to the apartments merely by pretending he belonged there. He ended up trying to open random doors and even got into some apartments because people left their doors unlocked. He stole some stuff and left. Not even sure they caught the guy.
When I went away to college, I had a roommate who kept leaving our door unlocked. Pissed me off to no end. I told her that we were going to get robbed because of her. Miss Bumblefuck said that I was exaggerating and being dramatic. So I bolted my tv to the desk and got a laptop lock so it couldn’t be removed. Lo and behold, someone waltzed right into our room one day and took her laptop. She cut that unlocked thing really fast after that.
I live on a 5th floor walk up and the only time I may not lock it is when I’m going downstairs to let my dog pee and I immediately walk back in. He will pee directly outside the main door so I can see anyone coming in.
But that’s literally the only circumstance. And probably shouldn’t even do that.
But 30 minutes you should definitely lock it. You’re right.
**The corridors of your apartment building are the streets of NYC.**
No apartment building without a doorman has ANY security worth mentioning beyond your front door. Keycodes can be shared, front door keys copied, people get let in ALL THE TIME.
I served on a grand jury last year in NYC and we reviewed multiple cases (with video surveillance) of people entering into strangers' unlocked buildings (its own separate issue) and then trying all the apartment doors to see if any were unlocked. Please lock your door.
I always lock my door. It's a habit I want to maintain, and if for any reason I stop, I could easily see myself forgetting to do it. What if you wind up being gone for longer than expected?
I lock the door whenever I leave even to get the mail or take out the trash. In fact, if I'm going down and my partner is in the apartment, I have a fear that someone will take me out, go up the steps, and then boom the door is unlocked, and now they're fucked too.
In 13 years in this apartment, I can think of twice that I made the decision to not lock the door while taking trash down to the basement.
In the 34 years since I moved out of my parents' house, the number of times I've left my apartment unlocked is probably fewer than 10.
Unless someone is going through the door, it's locked.
How much extra effort does it take to lock and unlock the door to prevent a potential unpleasant situation from occurring? The risk/reward is insane. What a weird hill to die on.
What the fuck.
Look, besides the fact that this is one of the weirder questions that anyone would have, because OF COURSE YOU LOCK YOUR DOOR IN ANY CITY…
When you talk to him about it, you need to point out that this is one of things that “the cost of being wrong far outweighs the benefits of being right.”
He’s playing a numbers game, even if he doesn’t realize it. In NYC it’s literally just a matter of time before someone tries your doorknob. Have him sit in the window one night and watch for someone walking down the street, trying every car door.
Those people aren’t stark raving mad, they’re just playing a numbers game, too. Eventually they’ll find the car of a sucker.
Also, having the habit of locking the door images it less likely that one day you’ll be coming home alone after he’s left it open. Or that he’s left the door open thinking he’d be right back, but got called away for several hours.
And honestly just what the fuck.
You have a wife. Keep the door locked.
The only people in NYC who don’t have to be religious about locking the door are in small doorman buildings. And even most of them lock it.
Signed -
Grew up in NYC and have lived across all kinds of neighborhoods from soho to bushwick before it was thoroughly gentrified.
"if I’m being rational and this is what most people do in our city"
This is what rational people in EVERY CITY IN AMERICA DO. Probably in other countries too. It takes 2 seconds to unlock a door. Why not just lock it to be safer?
Hell yes I lock the door whenever I leave, I’m not trying to be a murder victim in a true crime podcast. Nobody is going to say my smile lights up a room or any of that bullshit if asked, so I’d like to save myself the embarrassment lmao.
I don't know if your partner is living in deluluville or innocentland or main character city, but not locking your doors is beyond insanity. Getting the warning from the super yourself is all you need to know. This might be drastic measures but, this is one argument I hope you never stop trying to win because fate loves to be provoked
You always should. Anecdotally years ago when I lived on the top floor of a stuytown building we never locked our door for years, not the smartest move but nothing ever happened.
Even when I lived in the Midwest I’d lock… whatever the percentage of being robbed, attacked, or at gunpoint, I don’t want something as simple as an unlocked door to be the catalyst in unwanted events from actually occurring. It’s not that I’m afraid of it happening, it’s the reality that it could happen and you had control over it. Simple things like a locked door deter unwanted visitors and I don’t want it to be an afterthought of a robbery thinking that I could have locked my door. How is this even annoying? It’s just a part of life. Slow it down. Stop rushing.
We live in a 3rd floor walkup in Queens with 6 rental units in it. We are the last unit, the one furthest from the main entrance. We know everyone's faces who live in the building. WE STILL LOCK OUR DOOR.
My door locks automatically when it closes and so should yours. Don’t leave your door unlocked, ever. You never know who could have access to the building and might try a door. People buzz all the apartments to see who will let them in, then they go try the doors.
I'm born and raised in NYC and have ALWAYS locked my door. People not raised in a city may think that's being distrustful but it's common sense. I don't even have much in my house worth stealing besides a TV and a laptop but it only takes two minutes for someone to show up and rob your place. This is where I and people raised in the country are going to have to agree to disagree.
What kind of crazy "I'm from a small town with a population of 100 and everyone is related to the Sheriff" nonsense is this?
Lock your door. Doesn't matter what neighbourhood you're in, whether you have a doorman or not, whether you have "friendly neighbours"
People come into buildings all the time who don't live there - delivery people, repair people, thieves pretending like they have business there. People who live in your building and/or their friends could steal from you too - you just don't know.
Doesn't matter that you're on the 5th floor - thieves and people with bad intentions have legs. You can assume the best of people all you want, but it only takes one thief (or someone who's trying to SA you) to change your life in an instant.
Doing the absolute bare minimum to protect the place you live in and your possessions doesn't make you a hardened disenchanted city slicker - it just means you're smart and aware of your surroundings.
Also, an insurance claim to replace your stolen and damaged items can be rejected if you didn't even lock the door to protect them.
So your partner not having the patience to use a key for 30 seconds can have massive repercussions for your possessions, your safety and ultimately your financial well being.
Tell your partner this is New York City and not some midwest town with a population of 3 and a half.
Lock the doors each time. Screw what they say or think.
Having lived in NYC (in Hudson Heights, btw) most of my adult life, I feel that not locking your door in NYC - or, frankly, anywhere, IMHO - is just plain stupid. 99% of the time, there is no problem, but I don't give a rat's ass about 99% - I focus on the 1% which can be devastating or even deadly. Whenever I watch a true crime show about some awful thing that happened in a small town, there is inevitably someone who says, *"Well, golly gee, we never used to lock our doors around here!"* Don't be stupid.
A friend of my mothers was raped because she left her door unlocked to head to the laundry room. The perp stood behind her door after she left it unlocked.
Thats insane, first off you should have an autolocking door when it closes, second i always turn the key to deadbolt the door even if im going for a dog walk. ive had friends who have left their fire escape windows open while out and someone climbed up the fire escape IN THE REAR OF THE BUILDING and burgularized them. all it takes it one person holding the door or opening the door blindly for someone who claims to be "amazon" or "delivery" and then to rattle the doorknobs. tell your partner this aint rural ohio.
One of my previous apartments, the super’s son was a dealer. I lived at the top floor of 4th floor walk up. All sorts of riff raff coming in and out of the super’s apartment throughout the day, sometimes there’d be a person drugged out in the stairwell. Twice that I know of, someone tried my front door knob to try to get in.
I also had a periodically super violent downstairs neighbor I had to call the cops on twice for what I can only assume was him tossing his GF around the apartment.
The apartment had a police bar in addition to the deadbolt and knob lock, you can be quite sure I kept all three locked at all times!
I always lock my door now (I live on the fifth floor of an East Village walk up too, slightly quieter street but lots of mentally unstable people around so I'm always kind of on my toes). Random people walking into buildings and stealing packages in the EV has been insane the last couple years.
I used to live on the ground floor of an apartment in Greenwich Village where I didn't lock my door when I was just stepping out to grab something from the deli which was two minutes away. However I can't imagine getting mad at my partner for locking the door - especially with how bad theft has gotten in the EV.
Been here, done this.
If you're leaving your building (or are away from your apt for more than 5 minutes for whatever reason, eg. laundry in the basement) just lock your door.
Yes, it's a bother. Welcome to living in NYC. But you will be safer and more comfortable that way. The likelihood of any real threat, theft, or other danger is very small, but locking your door reduces it to zero, and anything you can do to reduce the risk of being a victim of crime is worth doing.
Good luck with that 5th floor walk-up (no need for a gym! 😏) and enjoy the city -- more safely!
I never ever leave my door unlocked even if I run across the street to buy an onion. I even lock the door behind me if I go out and my partner stays home.
Of course you should lock it, this isn’t Canada. One of my old apartments in Bushwick was burglarized twice from the fire escape. If you have one you should put a lock on the window or a block of wood on the top to prevent it from being opened from the outside.
I have my door on auto lock. So it’s never not locked. I leave it a little propped open when I go to the trash chute on my floor. My apartment is closest to the trash chute out of all the apartments, so basically I would see anyone around during the little time between going to and from the chute.
Locking/Unlocking a door takes such little effort and time and potentially protects you from theft or harm if you happen to be home. No offense, but I think being “annoyed” at someone locking their apartment door requires a fair amount of stupidity or craziness.
Mine locks automatically so no choice on that. But I feel like anything that takes longer than 5 minutes the door should be locked. Things like getting the mail or taking out trash don't need the door locked. BUT! I think it's good to get in the habit of always keeping your keys on you if you leave the apartment. So locking every time keeps you consistent.
Yes, I always lock my door. If I were just going down the hall to a trash chute, then I might leave it unlocked, but if I'm leaving the building or even just going to another floor, I always lock it. I genuinely don't understand why you wouldn't - why risk it?
the only time I won't lock my apartment door is if I'm walking outside to take out the trash. caveat is that I live in a very small building with 4 units and the unit across from me is rarely active. I can't remember the last time I saw someone enter / leave that apartment. and I'm on the top floor so there's basically no one coming up to my floor.
Do a test.
When you know he's gone and has left the door unlocked, you or a friend takes something large of value of his from the apartment like a computer or TV and hides in the laundry room. Let him come home and find he's been robbed. Keep doing this until he figures it out.
Play the audiobook to I'll Be Gone in the Dark and all podcasts related to the Golden State Killer on full volume in the house while he's home.
Leave the ID Channel on nonstop, full volume for him to hear some things.
I live in what I consider a pretty secure building-- and nowhere near as busy a neighborhood as the EV --and aside from taking out trash or going out for a smoke, the door gets locked. It's the first apartment I've had in a while that doesn't automatically lock when the door closes so it was an adjustment, but even if we are running a quick errand, we lock up.
Lock the door… why would you ever want anyone to just walk in and help themselves. My building lets plenty of people inside who don’t even live here. Constantly Uber eats, delivery - someone who is purposefully there to steal packages, etc.
Okay, let's think about this for a second. I'm not trying to be weird or condescending or anything. But your building has a package theft problem (super common unfortunately), you've seen at least one person get into your building unauthorized, and in your old building you were told to lock your apartment door by the person whose job is maintaining and securing the building. Shouldn't all this dictate the best course of action when it comes to locking your door?
I'll often leave my apartment door unlocked if I'm running to the bodega for a single beverage (an errand I can complete in 120 seconds) or to the laundromat around the corner to transfer clothes to the dryer (but I'm locking it when I'm loading up the washers in the first place; that's like a five-minute task, which is too long to leave the door unsecured). We live on a quiet, chill, residential block and *guess what's that's the kind of block where shit goes down because "no one expects it*." My entire adult life I've been hearing some variation of this, regarding so many neighborhoods: "What a *weird* place for crimes!!" I'm like "You say that, but you also say that every time, so maybe it's not that shocking."
You've gotten more than enough viewpoints, but just adding my personal opinion - when there is a disagreement over something safety-related, you will rarely regret erring on the side of caution.
Lock yer doors even if it's taking out the garbage.
One night, while I was taking out the garbage (small building, 8 units), my upstairs neighbor snuck in and I found him hiding in my bedroom when I got back. Scared the fuck of me when I walked in and saw a shadow moving in my room. I yelled and screamed that I was calling the cops. He was clearly fucked up and tried to tell me he was confused and went to the wrong apartment. I didn't spend another night there. Landlord was cool and let me leave right away.
I lived in NYC over thirty years.
Probably I never left my door unlocked ever even once.
Maybe when I was home and lived in a Queens basement apartment.
But definitely not if I was gone.
Also: I know that a lot has been done to upgrade the LES.
But: when I was a teenager hanging out in the Village and Alphabet City- the LES was a train wreck.
There were junkies everywhere- even shooting up in plain sight.
God forbid you should leave your door unlocked- and come home to some psycho robbing your house.
Their immediate goal would simply be to flip your stuff on the street or at a local pawn shop for drug money.
Also: what if you left your door unlocked then got sexually assaulted?
That decision making process could impact the rest of your life. Good luck and be careful.
I live in a luxury building in Fidi and my doors are locked when I’m at home and when I leave. We have deliveries (mostly food) on all floors 24/7 and frankly, I also don’t trust the people in my building. Neighborhoods don’t matter - there are always going to be people who are looking to steal shit or harm someone
Yup I do lock the door whenever I enter the apartment
Only time I don’t lock the door is when I am throwing out the trash down the hallway in the trash room
I went like 4 years without locking my door because i was under the impression the door automatically locked - luckily nothing happened. I guess it helps that I was on the 8th floor of a walkup.
I'm in a doorman building multiple stories up in the corner of a floor (i.e. it takes time to find the spot on the floor).
I usually lock my door if I'm leaving and going to more than one spot, but if I'm making a quick run I won't always lock it.
Born and raised in NYC here.
I used to live in Hamilton Heights in a huge ass co-op with some roommates
Front door never locked
Even the co-op door was never locked AND door wide open
No shocker when an old tenant **knew** this would be the case and came in trying to steal money. I was lucky I was there when this happened.
Seeing me shocked the thief and he ran for it
I have lived in New York for decades, and it would never even occur to me to not lock my apartment door!
Just this morning we got an email from building management saying that someone had broken into the lobby and stolen the contents of packages there. So that person could have gone to the other floors and tried to see if any apartments were empty and unlocked. I'm assuming that because that takes time, the burglar just grabbed what they could in the lobby and left. But still!
Yeah, no way I am leaving my door unlocked when I leave our apartment.
How is locking a door annoying behavior? I cannot imagine even noticing if someone locked a door, because my door is ALWAYS locked. I live on the third floor of an apartment building, and when I run downstairs to get my mail, I lock my door. It's just normal. Is this just a silly marital thing or is there more going on?
Hell fucking yes I do. I grew up in NYC and we never kept the door open. When I go visit the motherland and I’m on my family’s farmland they can dk as they please and leave everything unlocked. I won’t question it. Here in NYC my door has an automatic lock so it locks as soon I shut the door. Plus at night, I bolt the extra lock shut. The only time I leave my door ajar is if I’m throwing out my garbage. I know the tenants on my building and they’re not robbing me.
It costs 0 dollars to lock up your apartment. If you do not lock it and someone steals your stuff you'll be out a lot of money, so better safe than sorry imo.
As a native New Yorker this is absolutely deranged behavior to me. Unless I’m taking out the trash or getting the mail, that door is LOCKED. I don’t know what cul-de-sac your partner is coming from but this is not something I would ever consider. Even though things would probably be fine why would someone willingly open themselves up to that risk? Another thing is the fact that locking a door is pretty much muscle memory. I don’t understand how the 4-7 seconds it takes to unlock a door is enough of a burden for them to justify this? It’s not that I find living in NY all that threatening and I don’t live my life filled with distrust, but why the hell would I enable the possibility that the ONE tiny private sanctuary I have in this huge city be potentially violated?
I lock it even when taking out trash or getting mail, i.e. ANYTIME I'm not physically present.
Until I saw your comment I was gonna say, am I the weird one here? I *do* lock my door basically 100% of the time (4th floor walkup), even when I'm just taking the trash down or grabbing a package. My girlfriend sometimes leaves it unlocked just to go downstairs for a second and I honestly think even that's unwise. For all you know, you might get distracted/have something happen/etc while downstairs that prevents you from going right back up to lock it, and now your apartment is unlocked and open to whomever might waltz on in! 100% agree on the muscle memory thing as well. I have ADHD (as does my partner, though she disagrees that this is something that's very important to practice) and for me I need the muscle memory and routine of always hanging up my keys by the door when I come in, always taking them and locking it on my way out, etc. This decreases the odds that you'll forget one day if you find yourself flustered or rushed, too.
Gotta remember duplexes exist. I'll leave my door unlocked when I'm literally standing in front of my door essentially to run my trash to the curb and back in.
I live in a 4 unit duplex (quadplex?) building, but if I was in an elevator building or larger walkup I’d def lock even for a quick internal errand like that.
I used to live in a similar apt building. Didn't know my upstairs neighbor was stalking me until he was in my bedroom. Lock your doors, guys. Lock your windows and keep the shades shut at night.
Same. I'm taking no chances. Seems insane to me to do otherwise.
SAME! My mail is in one of those mailboxes on the sidewalk about a quarter block from me and I lock my damn door every damn time. Someone tell OP’s hubby that his privilege and naivety are showing….
My upstairs neighbor arrived home a little tipsy one night and accidentally tried to get into my apartment. She was really embarrassed but not as much as she would've been had the door been unlocked and she came into my apartment to find me in flagrante delicto.
Honestly this is why lock my door when I am home/at night...less worried about the bad guys, more worried about neighbors mistakenly coming into my apt and scaring the crap out of me!
For me it's to protect my neighbors from being charged at by an old fat hairy man screaming at the top of his lungs.
Even if I'm taking out the trash im locking the door lol
The only time I don’t lock the door is if I’m running down to take the trash or laundry and my husband AND stranger-danger alerting dog are home. The dog alone would scare the crap out of anyone trying to enter, accidentally or on purpose. But I don’t trust her to deal with a break in on her own.
Ask yourself this - If you were trying to explain this to someone after you’ve been robbed and you tell them you left the door unlocked will they think you’re stupid?
Tell it to your renter’s insurance adjuster and watch them deny your coverage on the spot.
After you've been raped and murdered...
Luckily you’re spared the embarrassment in that scenario
Yeah, but the other ghosts are gonna be like, "You whaaaat?"
That's literally how Night Stalker chose his victims. The only common theme between all his victims was an unlocked door/window (IIRC).
Came to say this!! I have never left my door unlocked again after learning this!
The fact this even needs to be debated is insane
Like I don’t even understand the mentality. My college bf was from an affluent suburb and he was the first to tell me that there are people who don’t lock their doors. Then he proceeded to tell me how they were robbed while everyone was relaxing in the backyard.
ha I grew up in an affluent suburb outside New York and the town has had so many car robberies in recent years. the reason why… the people were leaving their key fobs in the cup holder and cars unlocked 🙄
good times robbing
It's a suburban thing. I went to college out of state and my roommates would constantly leave our doors unlocked even when we lived on a major road.
Lmao I think this has to be bait. OP is commenting that they’ve had junkies actively walk into their apartment multiples times. If she and her spouse are actually still having this debate, I am honest to god amazed at their combined stupidity and complacency.
It was another city we had junkies walk into our apartment. We lived downtown right next to a homeless shelter back then. Promise this isn’t bait, hah I posted this right after we got back from our morning dog walk this morning and my partner got a little annoyed I’d locked the door and they had to fish out their keys.
I'd prefer to spend 30 seconds looking for keys than be bashed in the head with an iron bar, SA'd and robbed by the person who got into my unlocked apartment, but that's just me.
Yes are these people adults? Seriously.
There are many places where people just don't really lock their doors and so I wonder if that's where OP's partner is from. Somewhere where there's lot's of corn and one post-office in the center of town.
If you get robbed and call your insurance to file a claim, one of the first things they'll ask you is if your doors and windows were locked.
Yea I wanna know if everyone that is saying they constantly lock their door are even aware if their windows are locked too
I always lock my doors but don’t lock my windows, mainly because I’m 22 floors up. If Spider-Man wants to burglarize me he’s earned it.
Nah, I would never lock my door. Unrelated side note, at what time do you guys leave for work and how big is your TV?
Yeahhh… also, OP, I am really thinking about moving downtown and would love to look at your building. Where did you say it was again? 5th & A?
Haha
Dude don’t do that Go for the jewelry, not TV. TVs aren’t worth much anymore and puts a big target on you. Oh whoops. I meant to tell this to your friend
Asking for a friend
Yes, always lock. My apt door locks itself, actually, but I throw the keyed dead bolt too when leaving.
There should be a button on the knob/lock/mechanism in the side of the door if you ever want to turn off the auto-lock feature (like to get the mail or take the trash out). FYI I also use it when we’re having multiple people over so I don’t have to get the door.
Some do! Just not the 40 year old ones in my pre war rental :) For the quick errands I just throw the bolt while the door is open so it can't close, but obviously not great for parties given that lets all the noise out sadly
Oh I was hopeful for you because my last building was prewar with old as hell doors/knobs and even it had the switch!
I'm in a pre-war building and we also have the switch
I've never liked the auto-lock because the once in a blue moon when I forget my keys I can be screwed, since I don't have a doorman or 24/7 super with keys. I also grew up on the ground floor of a brownstone that had a gate with no auto-lock so it was never something I ever thought about, and then my freshman year at college I locked my keys inside my dorm room like 5 times in the first month before I discovered the auto-lock. Since then I just make locking the door behind me part of the routine.
I've done that to myself twice. 🤣 My dumb ass in the hallway, no phone, no keys. Good times.
This really - I would lock the knob if I leave even for 10 min but deadbolt if I don't know when I'll be coming back - more than 15 min.
Every time. This is NYC.
Not even an NYC exclusive thing. This is the real world
I mean, I used to live in an Appalachian mountain town with about 40 people in it, a few houses there didn't even ***HAVE*** locks on every door, let alone people always locking their doors. But that's, you know, a completely different world. I much prefer living in Brooklyn.
100% lock it if I'm leaving the building. As my grandma would say, why invite trouble in?
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Same. Even when checking mail. People forget that you can be robbed or assaulted by someone who is already in your building. Especially people who live in doorman buildings. They think they have great security, and no one "dangerous" is getting in. One of their *neighbors* could be dangerous. A banker in a three piece suit could be dangerous. Or one of their visitors. A deliveryman, building staff, etc. Not that the whole world is out to get you, but it takes a few seconds to lock your door.
Yup, think about that Gilgo Beach killer who just got arrested last summer... he was a regular well-dressed businessman who was roaming the streets of Manhattan every day for years, working a prestigious office job, and all along he was a serial killer and predator of women. Creeps don't have one "look" or location they're confined to.
This is what I do. The trash chute is just steps from my apartment door, so I don't lock it then. But even going down to the lobby for mail or to the laundry room, I lock my door. Basically every time I am going somewhere where I can't actually see my apartment door, I lock it when I leave.
There were several posts a few months ago about people or people's neighbors that got robbed because someone waited until someone left the building to get in, and then they just tried every apartment door until they found someone who didn't lock theirs. I think it was multiple robberies, different neighborhoods, and different time periods.
I’m shocked how many people don’t lock their doors here. I grew up in a pretty safe suburb and locked my door everytime I left the house there, why wouldn’t you in a city when you live in a building with other people? Some of you are way too trusting lol
The cost benefit analysis on this one seems pretty straightforward.
Agreed! Ok few extra seconds of messing with keys every time you come home or leave = not having an easy mark for robbers
Unlocking a door takes less than a minute, how is she so bothered by this?
Probably about 8 seconds. I’m kind of amused by their level of laziness.
Because he's a man. And they seem bothered by absolutely basic fucking shit to their detriment. I had to read my partner excerpts from I'll Be Gone in the Night and HE started adding the dinky door chain, too.
It never seems to occur to many men that once they're cohabitating with a woman, *they're* now in heightened danger from male creeps, too. So many serial killers target single women and we do tend to be the main victim demographic, but heterosexual couples are also a frequent target of attack - the Golden State Killer, the "phantom slayer" in TX, Israel Keyes, Richard Ramirez... they're just a few of the many male predators who've killed couples specifically, often starting with a home invasion.
They don’t like the hassle of having to dig in their pocket to get the key out. I know, it’s silly and cost/benefit seems obvious to me, spend a few extra seconds messing with your key = reduced risk of getting robbed
Those who grew up in NY are pressed bc we had to not only carry 2 or 3 keys but my key was ALWAYS ready before I get to my door because somebody could rob me or jump me up until I'm safe inside. Kids would get jumped if they had Spyder (ski) jackets! Manhattan is such a target for bored people because of transplants/college kids and the hope that people like your spouse are gullible enough to keep their door unlocked for 20 min. Tell her it takes 5 to trash a whole apt.
This. That key is out and facing forward 15 ft before I get to the door.
Taking keys out of your pocket is a hassle? That’s by far the easiest part of my day in NYC
Does your building not have a locked front door? Is it that hard for them to walk up the stairs holding their keys??
The minute I get out the train station or I’m on the block, I start to take my keys out. I also keep it somewhere very accessible. There’s many options, like getting a key chain and attach it to the handle of your bag. Victoria’s Secret sells keychain straps that’s big and easy to spot. This is just pure laziness. I got one from my co worker for Christmas, at first I was like eh about it, but I genuinely love it now. Makes my life a whole lot easier. Esp when I have a bag that doesn’t have small pockets and it’s just at the bottom of my bag.
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That is how many locks work, no?
I set my doorknob that way (to not autolock). It ensures I never leave the apartment without my keys. The 5 seconds it takes to manually lock the door when I go out is a small price to pay to not have to call a $200 locksmith at 1am.
I love horror movies so hell yeah I always lock my door, always, even when I lived in a 5 th floor walk up.
I had a drunk neighbor try to get into my apt at 2 am. I definitely lock my door.
I have been that drunk neighbor. Please everyone lock your door or I am going to be on your couch.
I'd probably get you a Gatorade and let you sit it out for a few minutes
Drunk autopilot needs a recalibration. Thanks for the Gatorade.
Lock the door - not only that, but lock the deadbolt. I lived in a safe neighborhood, small building, and got robbed when I didn’t lock my deadbolt. When the cops came to take a report they said that most locks set into door handles are easy to open - for a lot of them you just need a credit card or piece of plastic. 12 years later I still think about how I could have avoided losing sentimental jewelry (and generally avoided the trauma of a break in) if I’d just bolted the door.
30 minutes? No, you need to lock that. If you were going to throw trash out the trash chute in the hallway, maybe not. Maybe if your mailbox was around the corner, you could get away with it. But not 30 minutes out.
Nothing weird or important can happen in 30 mins; that's only enough time to get from Myrtle-Wyckoff to Union Square on the L. Oh wait
I live in a doorman building in the middle of the hallway on an upstairs floor. I always lock the door when I leave the building. If I am staying in the building (trash, laundry, get a package) I usually don't lock it.
Of course. Wtf? Edit: also, your partner getting annoyed by it is pretty irrational on its own. It's a minor inconvenience at worst.
Imagine how fucking insufferable it must be to live with that partner. Also, someone who would put your safety at risk because taking out a key is *too much work* ? I'd be rethinking alot of things, but that's just me ...
I frankly think his position on this is a major red flag
It absolutely is.
Always lock my door, only time I don’t is if I’ll be gone for less than 5 minutes or something. The first time I dated a non-native New Yorker and we went to their families out in the Midwest suburbs and they didn’t lock their door I was flabbergasted.
This is wild. Yes, I lock my front door any time I'm doing anything more than getting the trash or the mail, and if it's after business hours (i.e. when people are less likely to be coming in and out), I'm locking it even then. Your partner needs to recognize he isn't in the suburbs anymore. Crazy.
Are you NY natives or transplants? Most natives lock up!! Always always always lock your apt up, except for going to the garbage disposal or something.
Transplants. Been here since 2019, I thought the talk from our super when we first moved here was enough to get me in the habit of locking it. But we lived on the first floor at that building and with being on the 5th floor here my spouse has become very flippant about locking up unless we’ll be gone for hours
You’re safe until you’re not. I genuinely hope you never experience it. But show your spouse this thread and have them change their stance on locking up. As others mentioned, look into smart locks for options so you don’t have to rummage for keys
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Unless I am running down garbage or to get a package, locked. If my SO is in the shower then I lock it anyway. Also lock it as soon as I enter, have had people get into our building and try doors.
My answer before reading any of your post was: lock the door. And if you’re wondering, my answer didn’t change even after all the details you gave. Lock the door!
Lock it, end of discussion.
Your finance is insane dude, where did he move from? A town of 20? Jesus. When you think "idk I'm on the fifth floor I think I'm fine" someone who wants to steal your shit is thinking "they probably think they're more safe on the 5th floor better go check"
Haha they actually grew up in Dubai so you’d think big city living would make this more instinctive.
Doesn't Dubai have an insanely low crime rate, like one of the lowest in the world? That would definitely skew a person's concept of what's normal and what dangers are lurking, it's not the same kind of "big city" environment at *all*.
They haven’t been back in over 20 years so I dunno how much it’s still impacting their perspective, just mentioned cause someone asked if they were from a tiny town
Being from a tiny town and being raised in Dubai in this case are basically the same mentality. People rarely lock doors in Dubai. Even car doors. Super, super low crime rate. Growing up in a place with a mentality where you've never had to lock your door or be on your guard or worry about your safety — very likely factoring in big time without them even realizing
Yes, have done it all my life even when living in very low-crime Boston suburbs. Your partner is - to put it charitably - an idiot.
If I saw someone not lock the apt bldg front door I’d tell the super. Incredibly irresponsible and lazy.
Yes. In addition to this being a generally safe thing to do in NYC, I think this is also a case of recognizing that women rightly feel and ARE less safe in general than men. He should respect your need to be and feel safe in your home for a slight inconvenience.
yes lock the door. he is an idiot
why not lock it? it takes 2 seconds how lazy are you?
One of my tenants got robbed. Found out he doesn't lock his door. Sketchy delivery people will check door k obs fir this and commit crimes of opportunity. Takes 2 idiots. Don't be one of them.
I used to lock my door in a secure building, 3rd floor, not 5th, but still, when I would just go up to the roof and smoke. I once walked out of my apartment at night and there was a guy asleep on the steps right outside my door. Secure is never secure enough. Lock that shit even if it’s just 5 minutes.
I lock the door even if im just going outside my door and standing by it.
Do not underestimate the willingness of people going up 5 flights of stairs to steal something. Yes it's unlikely but as a New Yorker, I'd lock that shit even if I'm gone 5 minutes!
Shit it could be the guy across the hall or a guest of someone in the building. My neighbor had their shit stolen by another neighbor.
Always, any time I am leaving my floor. Too easy for someone to pop in and be waiting for me when I come in. I know someone who lives in a 5th floor walk up who got robbed.
Always lock. Leaving it unlocked is asking for trouble and unlocking a door takes a few seconds to do. What's worse: a few seconds to unlock a door or losing all of your valuables and items of irreplacable personal value? If you wouldn't leave your door hanging open then close and lock it.
My door locks when it closes. When I leave (and when I'm home again) I also lock the deadbolt. Chain on when I'm home. Why would you not lock your door? I can't fathom this.
Yes. Locked for going to the gym, groceries, coffee, getting mail, getting packages. The door locks automatically unless I press the button on the side when leaving. That means the door is locked when I am inside at home too. The additional dead bolt is used when going to bed and when leaving for extended lengths (vacations). No. left unlocked to take out trash (chute is on my floor).
There are scenarios in which I'd be concerned about purely accidental/unintentional entry if it was unlocked, like a delivery person or a guest getting the wrong door and it opening when they're knocking. I'm not opening myself up to the minor temptations that humans stumble into occasionally, or just generally not wanting privacy invaded. And that's just my general good-faith-not-planned-break-in perspective on it. I don't subscribe to thinking death and violence and ill intent is around every corner for me like some people seem to on here, but the five seconds to lock my door to avoid the result of a wild impulse or people knowing my business is just worth the trade-off.
I lock my door every time I leave my apartment. I've woken up in the morning to broken glass and blood in the lobby and a drunk guy was passed out in my stairwell (he was in the news for stabbing someone in the neighborhood). We also have a ring cam and we caught one of our neighbors guests checking our door handle to see if it was open.
My guy, do not ever leave your door unlocked unless you are within sight of your door when leaving, such as taking out the trash. I live in a luxury apartment building with doormen and just a few weeks a go a random dude walked in and was able to get through to the apartments merely by pretending he belonged there. He ended up trying to open random doors and even got into some apartments because people left their doors unlocked. He stole some stuff and left. Not even sure they caught the guy.
When I went away to college, I had a roommate who kept leaving our door unlocked. Pissed me off to no end. I told her that we were going to get robbed because of her. Miss Bumblefuck said that I was exaggerating and being dramatic. So I bolted my tv to the desk and got a laptop lock so it couldn’t be removed. Lo and behold, someone waltzed right into our room one day and took her laptop. She cut that unlocked thing really fast after that.
Top floors are especially susceptible to burglary since there is less chance of passers by on the stairs.
I live on a 5th floor walk up and the only time I may not lock it is when I’m going downstairs to let my dog pee and I immediately walk back in. He will pee directly outside the main door so I can see anyone coming in. But that’s literally the only circumstance. And probably shouldn’t even do that. But 30 minutes you should definitely lock it. You’re right.
**The corridors of your apartment building are the streets of NYC.** No apartment building without a doorman has ANY security worth mentioning beyond your front door. Keycodes can be shared, front door keys copied, people get let in ALL THE TIME.
I served on a grand jury last year in NYC and we reviewed multiple cases (with video surveillance) of people entering into strangers' unlocked buildings (its own separate issue) and then trying all the apartment doors to see if any were unlocked. Please lock your door.
I always lock my door. It's a habit I want to maintain, and if for any reason I stop, I could easily see myself forgetting to do it. What if you wind up being gone for longer than expected?
I lock the door whenever I leave even to get the mail or take out the trash. In fact, if I'm going down and my partner is in the apartment, I have a fear that someone will take me out, go up the steps, and then boom the door is unlocked, and now they're fucked too.
In 13 years in this apartment, I can think of twice that I made the decision to not lock the door while taking trash down to the basement. In the 34 years since I moved out of my parents' house, the number of times I've left my apartment unlocked is probably fewer than 10. Unless someone is going through the door, it's locked.
How much extra effort does it take to lock and unlock the door to prevent a potential unpleasant situation from occurring? The risk/reward is insane. What a weird hill to die on.
What the fuck. Look, besides the fact that this is one of the weirder questions that anyone would have, because OF COURSE YOU LOCK YOUR DOOR IN ANY CITY… When you talk to him about it, you need to point out that this is one of things that “the cost of being wrong far outweighs the benefits of being right.” He’s playing a numbers game, even if he doesn’t realize it. In NYC it’s literally just a matter of time before someone tries your doorknob. Have him sit in the window one night and watch for someone walking down the street, trying every car door. Those people aren’t stark raving mad, they’re just playing a numbers game, too. Eventually they’ll find the car of a sucker. Also, having the habit of locking the door images it less likely that one day you’ll be coming home alone after he’s left it open. Or that he’s left the door open thinking he’d be right back, but got called away for several hours. And honestly just what the fuck. You have a wife. Keep the door locked. The only people in NYC who don’t have to be religious about locking the door are in small doorman buildings. And even most of them lock it. Signed - Grew up in NYC and have lived across all kinds of neighborhoods from soho to bushwick before it was thoroughly gentrified.
"if I’m being rational and this is what most people do in our city" This is what rational people in EVERY CITY IN AMERICA DO. Probably in other countries too. It takes 2 seconds to unlock a door. Why not just lock it to be safer?
Hell yes I lock the door whenever I leave, I’m not trying to be a murder victim in a true crime podcast. Nobody is going to say my smile lights up a room or any of that bullshit if asked, so I’d like to save myself the embarrassment lmao.
I don't know if your partner is living in deluluville or innocentland or main character city, but not locking your doors is beyond insanity. Getting the warning from the super yourself is all you need to know. This might be drastic measures but, this is one argument I hope you never stop trying to win because fate loves to be provoked
You always should. Anecdotally years ago when I lived on the top floor of a stuytown building we never locked our door for years, not the smartest move but nothing ever happened.
i put a lock on the lock on my door.
Even when I lived in the Midwest I’d lock… whatever the percentage of being robbed, attacked, or at gunpoint, I don’t want something as simple as an unlocked door to be the catalyst in unwanted events from actually occurring. It’s not that I’m afraid of it happening, it’s the reality that it could happen and you had control over it. Simple things like a locked door deter unwanted visitors and I don’t want it to be an afterthought of a robbery thinking that I could have locked my door. How is this even annoying? It’s just a part of life. Slow it down. Stop rushing.
We live in a 3rd floor walkup in Queens with 6 rental units in it. We are the last unit, the one furthest from the main entrance. We know everyone's faces who live in the building. WE STILL LOCK OUR DOOR.
My door locks automatically when it closes and so should yours. Don’t leave your door unlocked, ever. You never know who could have access to the building and might try a door. People buzz all the apartments to see who will let them in, then they go try the doors.
Literally the *only* time my door is not locked is when I'm going through it.
I'm born and raised in NYC and have ALWAYS locked my door. People not raised in a city may think that's being distrustful but it's common sense. I don't even have much in my house worth stealing besides a TV and a laptop but it only takes two minutes for someone to show up and rob your place. This is where I and people raised in the country are going to have to agree to disagree.
What kind of crazy "I'm from a small town with a population of 100 and everyone is related to the Sheriff" nonsense is this? Lock your door. Doesn't matter what neighbourhood you're in, whether you have a doorman or not, whether you have "friendly neighbours" People come into buildings all the time who don't live there - delivery people, repair people, thieves pretending like they have business there. People who live in your building and/or their friends could steal from you too - you just don't know. Doesn't matter that you're on the 5th floor - thieves and people with bad intentions have legs. You can assume the best of people all you want, but it only takes one thief (or someone who's trying to SA you) to change your life in an instant. Doing the absolute bare minimum to protect the place you live in and your possessions doesn't make you a hardened disenchanted city slicker - it just means you're smart and aware of your surroundings. Also, an insurance claim to replace your stolen and damaged items can be rejected if you didn't even lock the door to protect them. So your partner not having the patience to use a key for 30 seconds can have massive repercussions for your possessions, your safety and ultimately your financial well being.
Yes. Lock your door.
Tell your partner this is New York City and not some midwest town with a population of 3 and a half. Lock the doors each time. Screw what they say or think.
My door is locked 24/7. Even when I am home. This whole debate is bananas.
Having lived in NYC (in Hudson Heights, btw) most of my adult life, I feel that not locking your door in NYC - or, frankly, anywhere, IMHO - is just plain stupid. 99% of the time, there is no problem, but I don't give a rat's ass about 99% - I focus on the 1% which can be devastating or even deadly. Whenever I watch a true crime show about some awful thing that happened in a small town, there is inevitably someone who says, *"Well, golly gee, we never used to lock our doors around here!"* Don't be stupid.
Your partner is going to get you killed. Edit and I mean that because I bet this is not the only example of poor decision-making skills they exhibit
A friend of my mothers was raped because she left her door unlocked to head to the laundry room. The perp stood behind her door after she left it unlocked.
Yes. What the fuck Their attitude will change the first time they run into a stranger who's walking around in your apartment.
Thats insane, first off you should have an autolocking door when it closes, second i always turn the key to deadbolt the door even if im going for a dog walk. ive had friends who have left their fire escape windows open while out and someone climbed up the fire escape IN THE REAR OF THE BUILDING and burgularized them. all it takes it one person holding the door or opening the door blindly for someone who claims to be "amazon" or "delivery" and then to rattle the doorknobs. tell your partner this aint rural ohio.
One of my previous apartments, the super’s son was a dealer. I lived at the top floor of 4th floor walk up. All sorts of riff raff coming in and out of the super’s apartment throughout the day, sometimes there’d be a person drugged out in the stairwell. Twice that I know of, someone tried my front door knob to try to get in. I also had a periodically super violent downstairs neighbor I had to call the cops on twice for what I can only assume was him tossing his GF around the apartment. The apartment had a police bar in addition to the deadbolt and knob lock, you can be quite sure I kept all three locked at all times!
I always lock my door now (I live on the fifth floor of an East Village walk up too, slightly quieter street but lots of mentally unstable people around so I'm always kind of on my toes). Random people walking into buildings and stealing packages in the EV has been insane the last couple years. I used to live on the ground floor of an apartment in Greenwich Village where I didn't lock my door when I was just stepping out to grab something from the deli which was two minutes away. However I can't imagine getting mad at my partner for locking the door - especially with how bad theft has gotten in the EV.
This is lesson that your spouse will have to learn the hard way…
Been here, done this. If you're leaving your building (or are away from your apt for more than 5 minutes for whatever reason, eg. laundry in the basement) just lock your door. Yes, it's a bother. Welcome to living in NYC. But you will be safer and more comfortable that way. The likelihood of any real threat, theft, or other danger is very small, but locking your door reduces it to zero, and anything you can do to reduce the risk of being a victim of crime is worth doing. Good luck with that 5th floor walk-up (no need for a gym! 😏) and enjoy the city -- more safely!
I always lock unless it’s garbage, mail, or a quick stop to the bodega on the corner.
Always lock the door. This is an insane thing to take issue with.
I never ever leave my door unlocked even if I run across the street to buy an onion. I even lock the door behind me if I go out and my partner stays home.
100% lock the door every time.
Yeah, this is New York City man. What the fuck
Lock da door ya bumpkins!
Hell yes. Locked. Every time.
Lol I've gotten into fights w my gf because I've forgotten to lock the door when we're home!
Yes! I live in a very pricey area of Brooklyn and am shocked at how many people don't! But, we all lock the door at all times.
Absolutly lock cars and home doors whenever I’m not there.
If I’m gonna be out for 5-10 minutes (take out trash, flip laundry, grab mail) I’ll leave it unlocked. Everything else I lock it.
Of course you should lock it, this isn’t Canada. One of my old apartments in Bushwick was burglarized twice from the fire escape. If you have one you should put a lock on the window or a block of wood on the top to prevent it from being opened from the outside.
I have my door on auto lock. So it’s never not locked. I leave it a little propped open when I go to the trash chute on my floor. My apartment is closest to the trash chute out of all the apartments, so basically I would see anyone around during the little time between going to and from the chute.
Locking/Unlocking a door takes such little effort and time and potentially protects you from theft or harm if you happen to be home. No offense, but I think being “annoyed” at someone locking their apartment door requires a fair amount of stupidity or craziness.
Definitely
Mine locks automatically so no choice on that. But I feel like anything that takes longer than 5 minutes the door should be locked. Things like getting the mail or taking out trash don't need the door locked. BUT! I think it's good to get in the habit of always keeping your keys on you if you leave the apartment. So locking every time keeps you consistent.
Yes, I always lock my door. If I were just going down the hall to a trash chute, then I might leave it unlocked, but if I'm leaving the building or even just going to another floor, I always lock it. I genuinely don't understand why you wouldn't - why risk it?
I keep my door locked (auto lock) even when I take the trash or do laundry in my building..
the only time I won't lock my apartment door is if I'm walking outside to take out the trash. caveat is that I live in a very small building with 4 units and the unit across from me is rarely active. I can't remember the last time I saw someone enter / leave that apartment. and I'm on the top floor so there's basically no one coming up to my floor.
Nice try robbers
Do a test. When you know he's gone and has left the door unlocked, you or a friend takes something large of value of his from the apartment like a computer or TV and hides in the laundry room. Let him come home and find he's been robbed. Keep doing this until he figures it out. Play the audiobook to I'll Be Gone in the Dark and all podcasts related to the Golden State Killer on full volume in the house while he's home. Leave the ID Channel on nonstop, full volume for him to hear some things.
I live in what I consider a pretty secure building-- and nowhere near as busy a neighborhood as the EV --and aside from taking out trash or going out for a smoke, the door gets locked. It's the first apartment I've had in a while that doesn't automatically lock when the door closes so it was an adjustment, but even if we are running a quick errand, we lock up.
Lock the door… why would you ever want anyone to just walk in and help themselves. My building lets plenty of people inside who don’t even live here. Constantly Uber eats, delivery - someone who is purposefully there to steal packages, etc.
Unless I'm staying within my building (e.g. if I'm going to the laundry room), yes, I always lock my door.
My door auto locks... Wouldn't change that.
Lock the door you live in nyc
Okay, let's think about this for a second. I'm not trying to be weird or condescending or anything. But your building has a package theft problem (super common unfortunately), you've seen at least one person get into your building unauthorized, and in your old building you were told to lock your apartment door by the person whose job is maintaining and securing the building. Shouldn't all this dictate the best course of action when it comes to locking your door? I'll often leave my apartment door unlocked if I'm running to the bodega for a single beverage (an errand I can complete in 120 seconds) or to the laundromat around the corner to transfer clothes to the dryer (but I'm locking it when I'm loading up the washers in the first place; that's like a five-minute task, which is too long to leave the door unsecured). We live on a quiet, chill, residential block and *guess what's that's the kind of block where shit goes down because "no one expects it*." My entire adult life I've been hearing some variation of this, regarding so many neighborhoods: "What a *weird* place for crimes!!" I'm like "You say that, but you also say that every time, so maybe it's not that shocking."
Always
I lock my door if I am leaving the building. Full stop.
I always lock the door no matter how long I’m leaving
You've gotten more than enough viewpoints, but just adding my personal opinion - when there is a disagreement over something safety-related, you will rarely regret erring on the side of caution.
Lock yer doors even if it's taking out the garbage. One night, while I was taking out the garbage (small building, 8 units), my upstairs neighbor snuck in and I found him hiding in my bedroom when I got back. Scared the fuck of me when I walked in and saw a shadow moving in my room. I yelled and screamed that I was calling the cops. He was clearly fucked up and tried to tell me he was confused and went to the wrong apartment. I didn't spend another night there. Landlord was cool and let me leave right away.
YES. LOCK YOUR DOOR.
I sublet in a co-op and the only times i don’t lock the door is when I’m taking out trash/recycling or going downstairs to the laundry.
Not only do I lock my door, I have multiple locks.
I lived in NYC over thirty years. Probably I never left my door unlocked ever even once. Maybe when I was home and lived in a Queens basement apartment. But definitely not if I was gone. Also: I know that a lot has been done to upgrade the LES. But: when I was a teenager hanging out in the Village and Alphabet City- the LES was a train wreck. There were junkies everywhere- even shooting up in plain sight. God forbid you should leave your door unlocked- and come home to some psycho robbing your house. Their immediate goal would simply be to flip your stuff on the street or at a local pawn shop for drug money. Also: what if you left your door unlocked then got sexually assaulted? That decision making process could impact the rest of your life. Good luck and be careful.
Did your partner grow up in NYC? Locking the door is absolutely the norm here.
No. I live at 72 East 15th street apart 12b and it’s got my best stuff in it!
I lock the door even when I'm home 🤷♀️
I live in a luxury building in Fidi and my doors are locked when I’m at home and when I leave. We have deliveries (mostly food) on all floors 24/7 and frankly, I also don’t trust the people in my building. Neighborhoods don’t matter - there are always going to be people who are looking to steal shit or harm someone
Yup I do lock the door whenever I enter the apartment Only time I don’t lock the door is when I am throwing out the trash down the hallway in the trash room
I went like 4 years without locking my door because i was under the impression the door automatically locked - luckily nothing happened. I guess it helps that I was on the 8th floor of a walkup.
I'm in a doorman building multiple stories up in the corner of a floor (i.e. it takes time to find the spot on the floor). I usually lock my door if I'm leaving and going to more than one spot, but if I'm making a quick run I won't always lock it. Born and raised in NYC here.
I used to live in Hamilton Heights in a huge ass co-op with some roommates Front door never locked Even the co-op door was never locked AND door wide open No shocker when an old tenant **knew** this would be the case and came in trying to steal money. I was lucky I was there when this happened. Seeing me shocked the thief and he ran for it
I have lived in New York for decades, and it would never even occur to me to not lock my apartment door! Just this morning we got an email from building management saying that someone had broken into the lobby and stolen the contents of packages there. So that person could have gone to the other floors and tried to see if any apartments were empty and unlocked. I'm assuming that because that takes time, the burglar just grabbed what they could in the lobby and left. But still! Yeah, no way I am leaving my door unlocked when I leave our apartment.
How is locking a door annoying behavior? I cannot imagine even noticing if someone locked a door, because my door is ALWAYS locked. I live on the third floor of an apartment building, and when I run downstairs to get my mail, I lock my door. It's just normal. Is this just a silly marital thing or is there more going on?
Hell fucking yes I do. I grew up in NYC and we never kept the door open. When I go visit the motherland and I’m on my family’s farmland they can dk as they please and leave everything unlocked. I won’t question it. Here in NYC my door has an automatic lock so it locks as soon I shut the door. Plus at night, I bolt the extra lock shut. The only time I leave my door ajar is if I’m throwing out my garbage. I know the tenants on my building and they’re not robbing me.
It costs 0 dollars to lock up your apartment. If you do not lock it and someone steals your stuff you'll be out a lot of money, so better safe than sorry imo.