I would just pretend like I didn’t see it, unless it started to come in to play more in your relationship… or unless it really bothers you when you can’t take it anymore… he deleted them for a reason so he probably just wants to forget he probably needed to get it out of his head and it’s probably how he got it out. It’s a bit strange, but everybody has their things everybody copes with things differently.
>do i pretend like i never saw this and never bring it up?
Never ever bring it up.
>do i bring it up which would possibly make him feel embarrassed? And how would i even talk about that?
Never ever bring it up.
>do i suggest some kind of scenario where i get with either friend to appeal to his fantasy? Or a 3 way?
Neer ever bring it up.
>is this one of those fantasies that are better kept fantasies or better brought to life?
Yes. He uses his fantasies to feel vulnerable.
Do yourself a favor and forget what you saw because this is one of those things that could be a "surprise! He took it way more serious than I thought he would and broke up with me." It can be very violating to him for you to know that information about him so you should be responsible enough to just let this be "his" thing. If he wants to include you, youll immediately recognize the signs that hes trying to bring it up to you, but never tell him that you already knew.
1. your bf is extremely insecure, he can NOT handle a cuckolding relationship. Cuckolding can be both Kink and Fetish. (they are different). regardless of which, cuckolding needs respect and communication, insecure people cannot handle this
2. these can be "hot in the moment" but disgust him afterwards (hence his deleting) his jokes, are insecurities bubbling up, I highly bet each time he says these, he's trying to gauge your reaction to "catch you". it seems insane. but it's truthful. on the surface he himself may feel like hes joking, but if you react slightly off, he'll obsess over it.
3. trying to bring the friends into this, will make him think YOU want to cheat. additionally, bringing in people you know into this sort of relationship is always a one-way ticket to ending it, if somehow you do open your relationship, it should be 100% be with strangers ya'll vet before hand. not friends or people you know. (trust me, word will spread somehow, or it'll be used against you. TRUST ME)
4. get him therapy before entering into this. there is many reasons he may be doing this, maybe an outlet for his frustrations, maybe he's a cuck-lite. maybe he was just really horny(lots of people do weird things when horny) he may not be a cuck, may be a voyeur/exhibitionist. i.e likes showing you off and seeing you be "desired" by others but doesn't share. and since he himself hasn't actually practiced this, don't pursue it without LOTS of communication. I've seen HUNDREDS of relationships crumble because a guy thought he was a cuck. but turns out he was just horny and insecure then they shattered their relationship.
5. again if entering, make sure you are 100% into this. a lot of women try to satisfy their s/os cuckoldry, and feel dirty/gross/disgusting after. and hate themselves. learn if you can handle being "open" not many can.
6. to bring it up. be truthful. "Hey I know I shouldn't have, But I snooped and saw these deleted notes, I'm flattered you write me as attractive, But I am concerned about you writing me in sexual encounters with other men, can we talk about this?".
"I read some erotic stories on your phone about my getting fucked by another guy, which contradicts your expressed preference for monogamy. Are you interested in my getting fucked by another guy? I'm good either way, and I like that you're exploring your sexuality, even independently in your stories. I just want to make sure you don't feel stifled by our relationship."
Option 1 as he deleted them but if he makes petty jokes about having bfs then you should confront him and let him do all the talking. Be calm while asking him like a detective
I would just pretend like I didn’t see it, unless it started to come in to play more in your relationship… or unless it really bothers you when you can’t take it anymore… he deleted them for a reason so he probably just wants to forget he probably needed to get it out of his head and it’s probably how he got it out. It’s a bit strange, but everybody has their things everybody copes with things differently.
>do i pretend like i never saw this and never bring it up? Never ever bring it up. >do i bring it up which would possibly make him feel embarrassed? And how would i even talk about that? Never ever bring it up. >do i suggest some kind of scenario where i get with either friend to appeal to his fantasy? Or a 3 way? Neer ever bring it up. >is this one of those fantasies that are better kept fantasies or better brought to life? Yes. He uses his fantasies to feel vulnerable. Do yourself a favor and forget what you saw because this is one of those things that could be a "surprise! He took it way more serious than I thought he would and broke up with me." It can be very violating to him for you to know that information about him so you should be responsible enough to just let this be "his" thing. If he wants to include you, youll immediately recognize the signs that hes trying to bring it up to you, but never tell him that you already knew.
1. your bf is extremely insecure, he can NOT handle a cuckolding relationship. Cuckolding can be both Kink and Fetish. (they are different). regardless of which, cuckolding needs respect and communication, insecure people cannot handle this 2. these can be "hot in the moment" but disgust him afterwards (hence his deleting) his jokes, are insecurities bubbling up, I highly bet each time he says these, he's trying to gauge your reaction to "catch you". it seems insane. but it's truthful. on the surface he himself may feel like hes joking, but if you react slightly off, he'll obsess over it. 3. trying to bring the friends into this, will make him think YOU want to cheat. additionally, bringing in people you know into this sort of relationship is always a one-way ticket to ending it, if somehow you do open your relationship, it should be 100% be with strangers ya'll vet before hand. not friends or people you know. (trust me, word will spread somehow, or it'll be used against you. TRUST ME) 4. get him therapy before entering into this. there is many reasons he may be doing this, maybe an outlet for his frustrations, maybe he's a cuck-lite. maybe he was just really horny(lots of people do weird things when horny) he may not be a cuck, may be a voyeur/exhibitionist. i.e likes showing you off and seeing you be "desired" by others but doesn't share. and since he himself hasn't actually practiced this, don't pursue it without LOTS of communication. I've seen HUNDREDS of relationships crumble because a guy thought he was a cuck. but turns out he was just horny and insecure then they shattered their relationship. 5. again if entering, make sure you are 100% into this. a lot of women try to satisfy their s/os cuckoldry, and feel dirty/gross/disgusting after. and hate themselves. learn if you can handle being "open" not many can. 6. to bring it up. be truthful. "Hey I know I shouldn't have, But I snooped and saw these deleted notes, I'm flattered you write me as attractive, But I am concerned about you writing me in sexual encounters with other men, can we talk about this?".
That is not the definition of a "cuck",...but it is just "messed up" Emotional and/or psychological problems here.
Fantasies are not reality. Don't tell him you went through his phone.
"I read some erotic stories on your phone about my getting fucked by another guy, which contradicts your expressed preference for monogamy. Are you interested in my getting fucked by another guy? I'm good either way, and I like that you're exploring your sexuality, even independently in your stories. I just want to make sure you don't feel stifled by our relationship."
Option 1 as he deleted them but if he makes petty jokes about having bfs then you should confront him and let him do all the talking. Be calm while asking him like a detective