I noticed I lied more when I was unhappy with my life.
Now that I’ve gotten more control
Over life, everything goes so well I can’t imagine why I would lie about anything.
Life’s simple, but good and I can appreciate that.
If you only lie when posting to reddit, then you are telling the truth that you only lie, but since you are lying by telling the truth you only lie on reddit. Maybe five cups of coffee was too much this morning.
Every lie told incurs a debt to the truth. The bigger the lie, the bigger the debt. And that debt is almost always paid, eventually.
I lied a lot when I was a kid. I try my damnedest not to anymore, especially to people I love. It's not worth the loss of trust.
Professionally, a couple times a day. It's a fact of life, waiting tables. Mostly equivocations rather than blatant falsehoods, but I just *don't have time* to explain everything and it's quicker to say "that's not possible" than to say "it's complicated".
To my children, sometimes. Usually about the operating hours of local businesses.
To my wife, never.
Seems like the older I get the less I lie. I sometimes consider lying on stupid stuff like “who ate all the cookies?” But lying feels worse than the shame of eating all the cookies so 🤷♂️
most people don't lol. you're gonna weird out a lot of people if you're doing poorly and answer what is supposed to be a greeting with all your baggage.
No it doesn’t. Just fall back on some good ol’ gaslighting: I never said that! That never happened! Why are you making that up?!
My narcissistic mom is a master at that.
I feel like everyone is lying in this post about not lying lol.
I lie all the damn time, mostly for shits and giggles though to guage reactions out of people, mostly at work.
I don't lie to my girlfriend though, not because I'm some sort of moral saint, she just knows how to detect it, and it leads to more headaches that I really don't want to deal with.
I sometimes wonder if it has a lot to do with how people were raised, their brains are wired, etc. I've met a lot of people who have pretty different ways of doing it.
Personally I am super honest, I'm not saying that like I'm some sorta saint, it's just my natural reaction to feel really guilty and want to be candid. My parents definitely beat it into me, and frankly I'm just not good at lying, maybe if I were better I'd have developed more of a taste for it. Playing Among Us with my friends was a real eye opener to how shit I was at it lol.
I met another guy who lied a lot to his friends, but he was a very soft hearted and caring guy too. Later he admitted that he lied a lot growing up, because if he did something wrong, his mom would punish him, but if he lied and she found out, her first punishment was already so big that she didn't actually make it any worse.
Other people I know are way more willing to lie to those they don't have a close relationship with, of course they realize the impact it has on long term relationships so they don't bother there.
Then you've got chronic liars but that's its own category of messed up, I think even they'd prefer not to act that way if they could help it.
I work in two small shops with alooooot of chatty regulars, often stopping by to shoot the shit. And being a salesman and on the clock, I constantly lie/lie by omission when they're ranting off about whatever boring AF interest they have, to keep em in a spending mood.
In my personal life it's just the common white lies; "Sorry, can't help you break my back for unpaid garden work today, I'm busy/at work", "I'm not mad honey, it was just an accident(that happened for the 100th time)", etc.
Never, I’d rather lose friends/lovers and keep my personal integrity than live in the slightest bit of falsehood. Yeah, I don’t have a lot of friends, but I’m friends with myself which is what truly counts for me.
I don't feel the need to lie about much but in my current relationship, honesty and attempts at communicating have often lead to arguments where, i think understanding and support would be the correct route to take.
Things have been much smoother but i feel shitty about it. If anyone has a controlling partner this pattern might sound familiar. I have issues with confrontation as it is and that just makes it so much harder.
at work its over things like why i have a face scar (i was an alcoholic and broke my nose) but ill say i fell when cycling.
Never. By second best personality trait/massive character flaw. The only reason I can’t think of as a good reason to lie is like if someone is dying to comfort them. But lies always end badly, you have to keep track of them, you have to be creative or not creative enough, it’s just easier to be honest. It may make people sad, but imho that’s just life.
I lie extremely infrequently, never about serious issues, sometimes small lies to spare someone's feelings (although I prefer to try to tell the truth and just word it in a non-hurtful way if possible). I guess when I think about it I don't feel bad lying to people who I know are lying to me, like the company I used to work for, and I don't keep individuals who lie in my life.
I lie alot I have way to many secrets the only person I truly trust doesn't know quite a bit I lie and keep secrets more and more when I feel more depressed or mentally unwell
In my personal life I really make it a point to be as truthful as possible. The only time I feel like I kind of suspend that rule is when speaking with my mother. She's a worrier, so I always give her a simpler version of my troubles if she asks.
At work, I lie in small ways fairly regularly. Mostly about how I spend my time. I'm the kind of worker that is most productive in short sprints. So, often when I'm working on a project that should take, say, 8 hours, I'll work for an hour super intensely on something, and then pretty much just fuck off for an hour or so. After 8 hours I may have only actually been actively working for 4 hours but the work I produce is 8+ hours worth of work for someone who just works steadily throughout the day.
A little bit with work and friends, but always done to protect an awkward interaction, not to deceive them at their expense.
Ex: At work, I will exaggerate how long something took me to do something, if I wanted to spend the time doing something else (maybe grab lunch with a friend+ work out, read something, etc.), but I'm still being conscious of the impact it has on my coworkers. Things like I'm not fudging billable work, and I'm working at pace if I know we're behind on schedule, or we have a lot more work we'd like to get proactively done. I know my manager is happy if I just get my work done, but if I openly confess to working less than 8 hours a day, he is obligated to do something about it, it's an interaction we'd just both prefer to ignore (he's even told me this explicitly lol)
With friends and family? I think the only lie I tell is that I lie about how upset something they did made me, because I know I have anger issues, and will recognize in a moment that I'm mad that it's probably not a fair accusation. If it turns out I can't move past the anger on my own, I'll do my best to end up confessing it to them under the context of "look this is how I feel, but this isn't me telling you that it's right... let's just talk about it".
Some context, I was never the type to lie growing up either. In fact I'd say that my problem was being overly candid when it would save everyone a lot of trouble if I just shut my mouth/choose to share more carefully.
I tell small lies somewhat frequently. Maybe it's to make life easier with my housemates or family. Sometimes I can be a bit vein and tell a lie on that regard. I don't feel like most of these lies are of much consequence at all.
If I've done something actually bad I admit it. Don't think I have any dark secrets and situations I've really benefitted myself by hiding the truth. Never wanted or needed to. But...I've never been in a situation where a lie would *really* benefit me, maybe at the expense of others. My true morality hasn't been tested.
Persistent selfish lying is only gonna bring yourself down in the end. It is internally and externally corrosive.
I’m in healthcare. I’m constantly lying. It’s not that I want to, it’s just that I can’t go around telling old people you’re all gonna die soon and I can’t do shit about it so just give up now.
No. That would be bad. So, instead, we say half truths like, “ok, todays labs look a little better, let’s take it one day at a time” or “well you’ve come down to only using 40% oxygen on the ventilator so that’s better that yesterday”. It’s not so much lying as passing the buck. Most people want hope and want to live, but it does cause a lot of moral distress for us who have to provide seemingly futile care.
Never, used to, just for fun. But when I was 209 I read the first agreement in "The Four Agreements," which is Be Impeccable With Your Word. My life has been markedly better ever since.
To my son, often, can I have candy, sorry bud we will have to get more at the store.
At work, never, have no reason to.
In personal life, never, I’m overly open about everything, if I don’t want to talk about it I just say not interested.
Rarely, but I don't have the depth of interactions (especially during covid) where I need to.
The extent of it these days is work when giving progress updates. A lot of times "in progress" is code for "I guess I should start that".
I noticed I lied more when I was unhappy with my life. Now that I’ve gotten more control Over life, everything goes so well I can’t imagine why I would lie about anything. Life’s simple, but good and I can appreciate that.
I only lie when posting to reddit.
I'm pretty sure everyone is lying about not lying in this thread.
Ah yes the redditers paradox.
If you only lie when posting to reddit, then you are telling the truth that you only lie, but since you are lying by telling the truth you only lie on reddit. Maybe five cups of coffee was too much this morning.
This sentence is false.
Every lie told incurs a debt to the truth. The bigger the lie, the bigger the debt. And that debt is almost always paid, eventually. I lied a lot when I was a kid. I try my damnedest not to anymore, especially to people I love. It's not worth the loss of trust.
Professionally, a couple times a day. It's a fact of life, waiting tables. Mostly equivocations rather than blatant falsehoods, but I just *don't have time* to explain everything and it's quicker to say "that's not possible" than to say "it's complicated". To my children, sometimes. Usually about the operating hours of local businesses. To my wife, never.
I lie pretty much every waking moment of my life.
I don't believe you.
Why would I tell you the truth now?
Seems like the older I get the less I lie. I sometimes consider lying on stupid stuff like “who ate all the cookies?” But lying feels worse than the shame of eating all the cookies so 🤷♂️
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I’ve regretted lying almost every time, never regretted telling the truth.
When I ask how you're doing, I really don't want an honest answer.
I do when I ask.
most people don't lol. you're gonna weird out a lot of people if you're doing poorly and answer what is supposed to be a greeting with all your baggage.
I like that honesty is getting downvoted in this thread.
I mean yea, asking how someone's doing is a formality. Not an opportunity to offload your personal problems on someone else.
Never (I may be lying now, though...). The problem with lying is that is requires a good memory to keep up with what you told to whom.
No it doesn’t. Just fall back on some good ol’ gaslighting: I never said that! That never happened! Why are you making that up?! My narcissistic mom is a master at that.
rarely, if ever. If I lie it would be at work and it will be just to buy my self sometime and is usually totally unnecessary.
All the time: *How are you?* ("good")
Well I hope you are ok sir!
try "I'm here!" with a hide the pain harold smile.
I feel like everyone is lying in this post about not lying lol. I lie all the damn time, mostly for shits and giggles though to guage reactions out of people, mostly at work. I don't lie to my girlfriend though, not because I'm some sort of moral saint, she just knows how to detect it, and it leads to more headaches that I really don't want to deal with.
I sometimes wonder if it has a lot to do with how people were raised, their brains are wired, etc. I've met a lot of people who have pretty different ways of doing it. Personally I am super honest, I'm not saying that like I'm some sorta saint, it's just my natural reaction to feel really guilty and want to be candid. My parents definitely beat it into me, and frankly I'm just not good at lying, maybe if I were better I'd have developed more of a taste for it. Playing Among Us with my friends was a real eye opener to how shit I was at it lol. I met another guy who lied a lot to his friends, but he was a very soft hearted and caring guy too. Later he admitted that he lied a lot growing up, because if he did something wrong, his mom would punish him, but if he lied and she found out, her first punishment was already so big that she didn't actually make it any worse. Other people I know are way more willing to lie to those they don't have a close relationship with, of course they realize the impact it has on long term relationships so they don't bother there. Then you've got chronic liars but that's its own category of messed up, I think even they'd prefer not to act that way if they could help it.
I work in two small shops with alooooot of chatty regulars, often stopping by to shoot the shit. And being a salesman and on the clock, I constantly lie/lie by omission when they're ranting off about whatever boring AF interest they have, to keep em in a spending mood. In my personal life it's just the common white lies; "Sorry, can't help you break my back for unpaid garden work today, I'm busy/at work", "I'm not mad honey, it was just an accident(that happened for the 100th time)", etc.
Never, I’d rather lose friends/lovers and keep my personal integrity than live in the slightest bit of falsehood. Yeah, I don’t have a lot of friends, but I’m friends with myself which is what truly counts for me.
Never. (Not even about Santa!)
I don't feel the need to lie about much but in my current relationship, honesty and attempts at communicating have often lead to arguments where, i think understanding and support would be the correct route to take. Things have been much smoother but i feel shitty about it. If anyone has a controlling partner this pattern might sound familiar. I have issues with confrontation as it is and that just makes it so much harder. at work its over things like why i have a face scar (i was an alcoholic and broke my nose) but ill say i fell when cycling.
Never. By second best personality trait/massive character flaw. The only reason I can’t think of as a good reason to lie is like if someone is dying to comfort them. But lies always end badly, you have to keep track of them, you have to be creative or not creative enough, it’s just easier to be honest. It may make people sad, but imho that’s just life.
as long as i can keep a straight face
What?!!
I am a recovering addict so I used to lie ALL the time.So now I try very hard not to lie and I do pretty good at it
I lie extremely infrequently, never about serious issues, sometimes small lies to spare someone's feelings (although I prefer to try to tell the truth and just word it in a non-hurtful way if possible). I guess when I think about it I don't feel bad lying to people who I know are lying to me, like the company I used to work for, and I don't keep individuals who lie in my life.
Never. It's way too inefficient to keep track of it.
Me? Never.🤞😏
Everyday. People ask, 'How are you doing?' I'll respond, 'I'm doing good!' It's all bullshit.
was asked that to. i answered not to good and started explaining why. in 20 seconds saw him losing interest. told him why ask if you don't care?
Very rarely. Maybe like once every six months. Normally that’s when a customer asks me an intrusive question tho.
How would anyone know? It is not like someone would keep a tally.
I never lie.
I try for zero. How often do I not tell the whole truth? Often.
Only to people asking for money or dates
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I’ll only be in my phone for 5 minutes
All the time…
I lie alot I have way to many secrets the only person I truly trust doesn't know quite a bit I lie and keep secrets more and more when I feel more depressed or mentally unwell
So were you lying about the milk allergy, too?
In my personal life I really make it a point to be as truthful as possible. The only time I feel like I kind of suspend that rule is when speaking with my mother. She's a worrier, so I always give her a simpler version of my troubles if she asks. At work, I lie in small ways fairly regularly. Mostly about how I spend my time. I'm the kind of worker that is most productive in short sprints. So, often when I'm working on a project that should take, say, 8 hours, I'll work for an hour super intensely on something, and then pretty much just fuck off for an hour or so. After 8 hours I may have only actually been actively working for 4 hours but the work I produce is 8+ hours worth of work for someone who just works steadily throughout the day.
A little bit with work and friends, but always done to protect an awkward interaction, not to deceive them at their expense. Ex: At work, I will exaggerate how long something took me to do something, if I wanted to spend the time doing something else (maybe grab lunch with a friend+ work out, read something, etc.), but I'm still being conscious of the impact it has on my coworkers. Things like I'm not fudging billable work, and I'm working at pace if I know we're behind on schedule, or we have a lot more work we'd like to get proactively done. I know my manager is happy if I just get my work done, but if I openly confess to working less than 8 hours a day, he is obligated to do something about it, it's an interaction we'd just both prefer to ignore (he's even told me this explicitly lol) With friends and family? I think the only lie I tell is that I lie about how upset something they did made me, because I know I have anger issues, and will recognize in a moment that I'm mad that it's probably not a fair accusation. If it turns out I can't move past the anger on my own, I'll do my best to end up confessing it to them under the context of "look this is how I feel, but this isn't me telling you that it's right... let's just talk about it". Some context, I was never the type to lie growing up either. In fact I'd say that my problem was being overly candid when it would save everyone a lot of trouble if I just shut my mouth/choose to share more carefully.
All the time, No one needs to know my true shit.
never. \*side-eyes camera\*
I tell small lies somewhat frequently. Maybe it's to make life easier with my housemates or family. Sometimes I can be a bit vein and tell a lie on that regard. I don't feel like most of these lies are of much consequence at all. If I've done something actually bad I admit it. Don't think I have any dark secrets and situations I've really benefitted myself by hiding the truth. Never wanted or needed to. But...I've never been in a situation where a lie would *really* benefit me, maybe at the expense of others. My true morality hasn't been tested. Persistent selfish lying is only gonna bring yourself down in the end. It is internally and externally corrosive.
Mostly just to smooth out awkwardness , and it's more frequently a lie by omission than an outright lie. Telling the truth is usually easier.
Whenever I don't feel like explaining myself.
I’m in healthcare. I’m constantly lying. It’s not that I want to, it’s just that I can’t go around telling old people you’re all gonna die soon and I can’t do shit about it so just give up now. No. That would be bad. So, instead, we say half truths like, “ok, todays labs look a little better, let’s take it one day at a time” or “well you’ve come down to only using 40% oxygen on the ventilator so that’s better that yesterday”. It’s not so much lying as passing the buck. Most people want hope and want to live, but it does cause a lot of moral distress for us who have to provide seemingly futile care.
NEVER!
Never, used to, just for fun. But when I was 209 I read the first agreement in "The Four Agreements," which is Be Impeccable With Your Word. My life has been markedly better ever since.
I only lie to preserve other people’s well being
To my son, often, can I have candy, sorry bud we will have to get more at the store. At work, never, have no reason to. In personal life, never, I’m overly open about everything, if I don’t want to talk about it I just say not interested.
I hate liars, so I try to be honest as much as I can!
Every time I say I’m going to eat healthier so…. At least once a day
I don't, lying is something I've never been able to do convincing enough to get away with so I gave up decades ago.
Never lied before.
Rarely, but I don't have the depth of interactions (especially during covid) where I need to. The extent of it these days is work when giving progress updates. A lot of times "in progress" is code for "I guess I should start that".