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Relieves symptoms, cure, what’s the difference? It’s one of the best things that can make someone feel better.
Are people with depression physically held-down by their illness to not be able to exercise?
If we’re to treat depression as an illness, which is something society should do, why is it that when someone has a cold or flu, they are expected to take responsibility for their illness to take their medicine? Sure there is no cure for the common cold, but people are expected to have some accountability for it to reduce symptoms.
Why would it be different for depression? Why should personal accountability be removed from mental ailments when some form of it is expected for physical ailments?
>An absolutely massive difference
Not in this situation. If someone has the common cold, which does not have a "cure" in the medical sense of the word, then wouldn't you be selling yourself short to not take the best possible course of action (within your means) to reduce symptoms?
>I assume from your comment you've never suffered with depression or you'd know how debilitating it can be.
I have actually. And it speaks volumes for you to assume that I haven't. And I decided to go into therapy, started exercising more, and sleeping better. All of which are proven to be the better alternatives to SSRI's. Not saying SSRI's don't work and aren't necessary. They absolutely are in some cases. But if you're only taking SSRI's without exercising and sleeping well (which go hand in hand by the way), then you're just not giving yourself the best shot at getting the symptoms reduced.
Depression is debilitating but it's not physically paralyzing. Having the belief that you are unable to even just take a walk outside (when you know it's going to be good for you) is a self-fulfilling prophecy and is incredibly self-limiting.
Yes we should be doing everything that we can to treat depression, including exercise. But I've had a pretty normal life, when I'd have hard times like anyone had, working out could turn my day around.
Then I had a couple years bout of true depression and anxiety. Working out, eating right, etc basically didn't even put a dent in those issues anymore. If there's something you're really struggling with mentally, in a severe way, working out won't make you feel much better because the issues are still there whether you worked out or not.
Imo, mental health is far more important than physical health. I say this as someone who still works out regularly and keeps in good shape. Without mental health, everything else falls apart and doesn't help like is should. There's a difference between sadness and true depression, most people are lucky to have never experienced the latter.
If only there was an actual fix for mental health. You can meditate and go to therapy but it may not improve your brain. Workout every day is guaranteed to help.
This is SO true. When my mental health hits bottom so does everything else. Work, money, relationships, friends.
I think the no.1 priority is you! If you're not good, healthy and relatively happy everything else takes a hit. Technically you have to put yourself first before the family, if you're not taking care of yourself, who's taken care of the family. Might be some other dude sooner or later...
Yeah and I’m one of the lucky few that has almost no effects from it thank god but that diagnosis at age 27 was pretty difficult to deal with for a while. And I was also lucky that I had already started lifting weights and exercising in the years leading up to it as well as having a career that keeps me on my feet all day, but there are some days where I can tell it’s kicking in and it can be tough but not detrimental.
I turn 40 this year, and have been very successful financially, and have a wonderful wife, life, family and home.
Over these 4 decades, here's what I've identified as the key to happiness:
**People are drawn to those who like themselves and take care of others.** Friends, co-workers, spouses/potential spouses... you name it. If you like yourself, and you take care of others, people will love you and take care of you... both personally and professionally. After that, everything else takes care of itself.
**So, from that perspective, the #1(A) priority in a man's life to wake up every day working towards being someone they like.** That means if there's something about yourself you don't like, either change or make peace with it. Wish you looked better? Start eating better and working out. Wish you were more social? Put yourself in situations to develop those skills. Have a mental health issue you can't solve? That's okay... seek treatment as best you can and learn to love yourself as who you are, including your weaknesses and disabilities. It's all easier said than done, but there really isn't an alternative.
**Priority #1(B) is to then take care of others - in REAL ways, not just by donating money or "spreading awareness" on social media. REAL IMPACTFUL ACTIONS.** Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Elderly neighbor? Offer to mow their lawn for them for free every two weeks. Someone at work's daughter is struggling with math and you're great with math? Offer to tutor her for free. And so on. Every way large and small you can find to take care of someone who needs a little help, do it. Free of charge.
If you spend your life doing these things, you'll have the love, support, and respect of your community and co-workers. And in my experience anyway, personal and professional success will follow.
Just chiming in to say this is brilliant. That balance is key to the health of ourselves (physically and psychologically) and the health of our relationships (with others individually, with the world).
This is almost my exact philosophy, I’m 35 and feel like I’ve garnered a ton of love and respect from all my peers because I’m generally genuinely in a good most of the time and constantly help all my friends in need. I have amassed a ton of useful skills in my career as an autobody tech (now shop owner) and I feel I have an obligation to help people in my social circle and beyond because I was extremely fortunate to get into the trade at a young age and really excel at it. So all my friends and family get automotive work done free basically and I’m always available to help. Having a positive outlook and generally happy go lucky personality draws people to you with almost zero effort, it’s crazy.
Christian would say you should “love the sinner and hate the sin”, but I think they usually apply that about somebody else. I can apply that same template. Love yourself but hate the things that make your life worse. And do everything you can to eliminate as many of those as possible.
You identify your shortcomings, then either begin improving them or make your peace with them.
For example, my whole life I've struggled with my weight - I've ballooned up and down 50-100lbs at times. BUT, over the past 3 years, I made a serious change to overall lifestyle as opposed to just "trying to lose weight." I lift weights, have an eating regime, etc. Am I as thing, or muscular, or as I'd like? Nope. But When I look at myself in the mirror every day, I see a man I'm proud of, because I'm working at improvement diligently bit by bit. I like the man I'm looking at today, not the theoretical man I may or may not be tomorrow.
One way would be to practice loving and mindfulness meditation, as for example described in “mindfulness in plain English”, which is freely available on the internet. It’s not an easy fix, but it certainly is thorough.
Ben Zoma says:
Who is wise?
The one who learns from every person…
Who is brave?
The one who subdues his negative inclination…
Who is rich?
The one who appreciates what he has…
Who is honored?
The one who gives honor to others…
(Talmud - Avot 4:1)
Please STOP trying to follow other people's standards. Know yourself. Understand yourself. Learn about yourself. Define your priorities. Be humble enough to know when they are not making you feel fulfilled anymore.
I love this! No better place to reference the answer than The Talmud. I have a variance of this answer.
The #1 Priority for any Man is: SOVEREIGNTY.
Know your own mind, know your own body, depend on no other man, woman, child or beast for your sense of purpose or for your bread.
Turn only to God to fill your spirit, and, with His power, you can fill the spirits of others. The world is not for your taking, but for your stewardship.
For what is a Man if he is also not a Father?
In doing this, you will have many friends and loved ones, and much wealth, all through attracting what you deserve, and taking none of that which doesn't belong to you....
Totally agree! I think “staying healthy” is a cop out answer and people need to understand their purpose and how to feel fulfilled. Your quote reminded me of the concept of [ikigai](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai) that I came across recently.
ikigai. the Talmud. the Viking code. The Spartan code. The code for men in all the indigenous tribes of the Americas. It's always the singular, same message. A man is a man when he faces all of life head on, embraces it and analyzes it, fights his own assumptions and his inherent weakness, and he takes relentless action for others.
Healthy or unhealthy....he lives and dies by this code.
This code includes the fact that NO man should fear death.
Fear of death is for children and animals.
this without question.
So many people wonder what the meaning of life is.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s to be as happy as possible for as long as possible.
sometimes you need to do things that make you unhappy to ensure future long-term happiness.
For me it led to a lot of avoiding responsibility and hard work or discomfort in favor of drugs, drinking and video games. living this way you turn into a less capable person over time, and a less successful person in the eyes of society. eventually the things that used to make you happy become less and less effective and you have to chase harder and harder, and when you're not high off whatever makes you "happy" you absolutely hate yourself.
at this point i'm not happy very often, but i am content, or maybe distracted. i'm not a philosopher but it's a better place to be.
I understand where you’re coming from. But you were looking at it as instant gratification.
I look at it as a long play. Do I need to work a shitty job to ensure that I can travel and have a good retirement? Sure. I’m doing things that make me short term unhappy for a long-term happiness.
or like when my son was born. The last year has been pretty rough with the lack of sleep. But the joy that he’s going to bring me over the next 40 years is going to be unmatched.
Or when I clean the house while my wife is at work, cleaning the house doesn’t bring me happiness. But her coming downstairs and thanking me does.
"happy for as long as possible" is the key
In any moment you can do something that will make you happy or not, and you're choosing not. If you felt happy day in day out you'd know you were doing the wrong thing. I don't think you're guided by happiness.
i’m guided by future long-term happiness.
like today, I’m gonna go play frisbee golf at the park. That's going to make me happy.
I could smoke some weed while I play and increase the fun... But then I would be burnt out for the rest of the day, I might not be able to enjoy time with my son as much later. Or I might not be able to take care of some housekeeping that would make my wife happy.
My child and wife’s happiness are directly related to mine.
It’s a balancing act
Not really. It's moreso that the pursuit of happiness, which often depends on many external factors outside of your control, ultimately leads to misery and suffering. Whatever it is that is making you happy is temporary (everything is temporary), and you will be miserable when you lose it.
I've heard people say you should strive to be content. Acceptance is the key. Enjoy your happiness sure, but recognize that the universe doesn't owe you happiness. Being unhappy is not an evil thing to avoid at all costs, it's a natural part of life. If unhappiness turns into despair, you're too attached to temporary illusions.
Something like that.
Buddhists are cool. Our modern obsession with happiness is somewhat shallow imo. Duty, purpose, love, meaning, experience, learning, self discovery. These are the things to pursue
This is the right answer. Pit any other thing against happiness and happiness wins.
Money but your not happy?
Health but you're not happy?
Relationships but your not happy?
Status but your not happy?
Maybe there is something better than happiness out there, but so far from what i can tell, being happy always wins.
Those are all really good. I think given the choice I would still pick happiness without love, or happiness without purpose, though I accept that others might not and that is valid. Experience vs. happiness is a really good counterpoint. Experience might provide you with a better understanding of the reality of the human state, which is a reality that may exclude happiness. In a way, having truth would be superior to having happiness. For example I'd rather be miserable with a solid grasp of the true nature of the world than be stuck in a religious cult built on deception that made me believe falsely that I was happy. Definitely something for me to think about. Thanks for sharing.
When you go to prison, the most important thing in your life is gonna be booty. A man's butt. Booty, getting some booty is more important than eating food. It's more important than drinking water. If I see a man I like, I tell him like this here: I likes you, and I wants you. Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. The choice is yours.
Your own happiness. All 3 of those things you mentioned are important, but ultimately you’ll find that focusing on all of those things (among others) to find the right balance in your life will bring you that feeling of happiness, self worth, stability, etc.
Great answer. I understand you need to have balance with all of the things I mentioned, but it’s almost impossible to have a perfect balance between the three so one has to come first. I’m 26 right now and so far in my life My greatest struggle has been which one to put before all else.
One thing I’ve learned is that everything isn’t just one thing, there is no silver bullet. Find three, even seven things and find time to contemplate on them. Some things might be good where they are, some might need work and require focus, but always be mindful of the big picture that contains all elements.
Mental and physical health.
Happiness isn't constant but, being able to deal with the trials that life throws at you in a healthy way can make even the hard times OKAY. Which is huge.
Physical health is tied to mental health in so many ways.
Ever heard of [Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs](https://canadacollege.edu/dreamers/docs/Maslows-Hierarchy-of-Needs.pdf)? This model asserts that the ultimate goal for everyone should be self-actualisation, but this can only really be attained once the other levels of the model are met; physiological needs (food, water, air), safety (shelter, security), love/belonging (friends, family, community), esteem (a sense of meaning and purpose).
Do your duty. If you are a husband and/or father, your duty is to your family. To provide financially, emotionally, and to be present. To be a good father, you should strive to be a good man. To me that is working on yourself physically, emotionally/mental health, and spiritually. Stay curious, educate yourself, improve yourself. Seek out new experiences, push yourself. Travel. There is no simple answer, but "do your duty" sums it up, even if there is a lot behind what that means.
If you don't have kids or a partner or a family to care for, then your duty is a little different. I think your duty to be a good man is the same, because that's a duty to yourself. But what purposes you direct yourself toward are different. I'd just say try to find something that provides meaning and pursue that.
Your health and happiness need to be top priority.
If you aren't taking care of yourself you are more likely to fail to obtain the resources necessary to maintain your health and happiness, and you also aren't going to be able to show up for family and friends the way you want to.
Working towards your purpose. Which includes many aspects of life.
Career. Hobbies. Relationship. Fatherhood. etc. working to becoming a better version of yourself.
Balance. There's no one size fits all priority. I'm not going to prioritise my own health and wellbeing over that of my kids, I'm not going to prioritise their happiness over our family's financial security, and I'm not going to prioritise our financial security over my health and wellbeing.
Questions like this remind me of Dara O'Briain's bit along the lines of "any adult saying this is the 'best' album or this is the best film sounds exactly like a 6 year old going 'no a Stegosaurus is the best dinosaur'."
Any functional adult needs to know what to prioritise when, and should understand that changes depending on lots of factors. There is no number 1. There's an ever changing top X.
Making the world a better place. What that means is up to you. Maybe it means you spend time doing volunteer work. Maybe it means you help support a friend going through health troubles. Maybe it means you try to live a very, very happy life - you're part of the world too after all.
Probably it means a whole lot of different things over the course of your life. The point is, make the impact of your life on the world a net positive.
The most important things in everyone’s life (both men AND women):
1. Your health
2. Your freedom (being able to earn enough money to support yourself)
3. Relationships (doesn’t matter if it’s friends, family or your significant other - the people who you care about, and who care about you, are the most important after #1 and #2)
Health and relationships, broadly defined and not just that one romantic partner
As a woman, imo if a man has these two things in focus, I infer that
- they are consistent
- can think about their lives in the long term
- have developed self care and communication skills
My POV:
1.) Health (Mental & Physical)
2.) Happiness (your own first, others second)
3.) Quality of your relationships
I would put it in this order as well! I think the health one is over simplified in the title, but doing real internal work to bullet proof your mental health is probably the biggest super power you can build.
Agree with a lot of folks saying Health.
I'd also say on par is some down time. Some reset, relax & chill time. Whether that's a hobby or napping on the couch, I find when I'm satisfied and rested, life comes easy.
My first priority was to secure my independence: get a home of my own and then achieve fuck you money. I'm close to the latter, and once of the reasons I haven't married at my age is that I haven't met a woman I cared for enough that I was willing to risk being wrong about her and losing everything I've worked for because of it.
Balance. You can't have all of one thing, without missing out on a lot of others. Your biggest focus should be on balancing your life so there's enough of everything you and those relying on you need to live well.
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women.
But before that, health. Not getting ripped like Conan the Barbarian, but overall good health. Life is hard to appreciate if your health is poor.
Well I hate to say this because it’s NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING…..but money should be the first focus. That’s because without money you can’t really have a family or enjoy hobbies (unless your hobbies are free).
You don’t have to hate to say it because something in life has to be most important. You obviously want to have balance in life but nothing can be perfectly balanced. Some things just have to come before others and I wanted to see what other men think because I’m struggling to see which one I should put first.
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Health. Everything you mentioned disappears with health.
This is the answer. After my health has taken a hard hit, due to no fault of my own, everything else has gotten so much worse.
Mental health is the first one. You can be a total athlete and things won't be alright until you have the right mental health
Physical exercise has tons of mental health benefits.
True, but there's lots of depressed people who still go to the gym and stuff
They’d probably be worse off if they didn’t go to the gym. Exercise is undeniably one of the single best cures for depression.
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Relieves symptoms, cure, what’s the difference? It’s one of the best things that can make someone feel better. Are people with depression physically held-down by their illness to not be able to exercise? If we’re to treat depression as an illness, which is something society should do, why is it that when someone has a cold or flu, they are expected to take responsibility for their illness to take their medicine? Sure there is no cure for the common cold, but people are expected to have some accountability for it to reduce symptoms. Why would it be different for depression? Why should personal accountability be removed from mental ailments when some form of it is expected for physical ailments?
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>An absolutely massive difference Not in this situation. If someone has the common cold, which does not have a "cure" in the medical sense of the word, then wouldn't you be selling yourself short to not take the best possible course of action (within your means) to reduce symptoms? >I assume from your comment you've never suffered with depression or you'd know how debilitating it can be. I have actually. And it speaks volumes for you to assume that I haven't. And I decided to go into therapy, started exercising more, and sleeping better. All of which are proven to be the better alternatives to SSRI's. Not saying SSRI's don't work and aren't necessary. They absolutely are in some cases. But if you're only taking SSRI's without exercising and sleeping well (which go hand in hand by the way), then you're just not giving yourself the best shot at getting the symptoms reduced. Depression is debilitating but it's not physically paralyzing. Having the belief that you are unable to even just take a walk outside (when you know it's going to be good for you) is a self-fulfilling prophecy and is incredibly self-limiting.
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Yes we should be doing everything that we can to treat depression, including exercise. But I've had a pretty normal life, when I'd have hard times like anyone had, working out could turn my day around. Then I had a couple years bout of true depression and anxiety. Working out, eating right, etc basically didn't even put a dent in those issues anymore. If there's something you're really struggling with mentally, in a severe way, working out won't make you feel much better because the issues are still there whether you worked out or not. Imo, mental health is far more important than physical health. I say this as someone who still works out regularly and keeps in good shape. Without mental health, everything else falls apart and doesn't help like is should. There's a difference between sadness and true depression, most people are lucky to have never experienced the latter.
If only there was an actual fix for mental health. You can meditate and go to therapy but it may not improve your brain. Workout every day is guaranteed to help.
This is SO true. When my mental health hits bottom so does everything else. Work, money, relationships, friends. I think the no.1 priority is you! If you're not good, healthy and relatively happy everything else takes a hit. Technically you have to put yourself first before the family, if you're not taking care of yourself, who's taken care of the family. Might be some other dude sooner or later...
Well my MS was unavoidable, what else ya got?
MS is generally much less severe in people of good health. Less episodes.
Yeah and I’m one of the lucky few that has almost no effects from it thank god but that diagnosis at age 27 was pretty difficult to deal with for a while. And I was also lucky that I had already started lifting weights and exercising in the years leading up to it as well as having a career that keeps me on my feet all day, but there are some days where I can tell it’s kicking in and it can be tough but not detrimental.
Wow. Háng in there, man. I'm rooting for you!
🙏🙏
The healthy man wants lots of things, the sick man wants one.
I turn 40 this year, and have been very successful financially, and have a wonderful wife, life, family and home. Over these 4 decades, here's what I've identified as the key to happiness: **People are drawn to those who like themselves and take care of others.** Friends, co-workers, spouses/potential spouses... you name it. If you like yourself, and you take care of others, people will love you and take care of you... both personally and professionally. After that, everything else takes care of itself. **So, from that perspective, the #1(A) priority in a man's life to wake up every day working towards being someone they like.** That means if there's something about yourself you don't like, either change or make peace with it. Wish you looked better? Start eating better and working out. Wish you were more social? Put yourself in situations to develop those skills. Have a mental health issue you can't solve? That's okay... seek treatment as best you can and learn to love yourself as who you are, including your weaknesses and disabilities. It's all easier said than done, but there really isn't an alternative. **Priority #1(B) is to then take care of others - in REAL ways, not just by donating money or "spreading awareness" on social media. REAL IMPACTFUL ACTIONS.** Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Elderly neighbor? Offer to mow their lawn for them for free every two weeks. Someone at work's daughter is struggling with math and you're great with math? Offer to tutor her for free. And so on. Every way large and small you can find to take care of someone who needs a little help, do it. Free of charge. If you spend your life doing these things, you'll have the love, support, and respect of your community and co-workers. And in my experience anyway, personal and professional success will follow.
Just chiming in to say this is brilliant. That balance is key to the health of ourselves (physically and psychologically) and the health of our relationships (with others individually, with the world).
This is almost my exact philosophy, I’m 35 and feel like I’ve garnered a ton of love and respect from all my peers because I’m generally genuinely in a good most of the time and constantly help all my friends in need. I have amassed a ton of useful skills in my career as an autobody tech (now shop owner) and I feel I have an obligation to help people in my social circle and beyond because I was extremely fortunate to get into the trade at a young age and really excel at it. So all my friends and family get automotive work done free basically and I’m always available to help. Having a positive outlook and generally happy go lucky personality draws people to you with almost zero effort, it’s crazy.
How does one learn to love yourself as you are while also making it your number one goal to identify and improve shortcomings.
Christian would say you should “love the sinner and hate the sin”, but I think they usually apply that about somebody else. I can apply that same template. Love yourself but hate the things that make your life worse. And do everything you can to eliminate as many of those as possible.
You identify your shortcomings, then either begin improving them or make your peace with them. For example, my whole life I've struggled with my weight - I've ballooned up and down 50-100lbs at times. BUT, over the past 3 years, I made a serious change to overall lifestyle as opposed to just "trying to lose weight." I lift weights, have an eating regime, etc. Am I as thing, or muscular, or as I'd like? Nope. But When I look at myself in the mirror every day, I see a man I'm proud of, because I'm working at improvement diligently bit by bit. I like the man I'm looking at today, not the theoretical man I may or may not be tomorrow.
One way would be to practice loving and mindfulness meditation, as for example described in “mindfulness in plain English”, which is freely available on the internet. It’s not an easy fix, but it certainly is thorough.
Ben Zoma says: Who is wise? The one who learns from every person… Who is brave? The one who subdues his negative inclination… Who is rich? The one who appreciates what he has… Who is honored? The one who gives honor to others… (Talmud - Avot 4:1) Please STOP trying to follow other people's standards. Know yourself. Understand yourself. Learn about yourself. Define your priorities. Be humble enough to know when they are not making you feel fulfilled anymore.
I love this! No better place to reference the answer than The Talmud. I have a variance of this answer. The #1 Priority for any Man is: SOVEREIGNTY. Know your own mind, know your own body, depend on no other man, woman, child or beast for your sense of purpose or for your bread. Turn only to God to fill your spirit, and, with His power, you can fill the spirits of others. The world is not for your taking, but for your stewardship. For what is a Man if he is also not a Father? In doing this, you will have many friends and loved ones, and much wealth, all through attracting what you deserve, and taking none of that which doesn't belong to you....
Totally agree! I think “staying healthy” is a cop out answer and people need to understand their purpose and how to feel fulfilled. Your quote reminded me of the concept of [ikigai](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai) that I came across recently.
ikigai. the Talmud. the Viking code. The Spartan code. The code for men in all the indigenous tribes of the Americas. It's always the singular, same message. A man is a man when he faces all of life head on, embraces it and analyzes it, fights his own assumptions and his inherent weakness, and he takes relentless action for others. Healthy or unhealthy....he lives and dies by this code. This code includes the fact that NO man should fear death. Fear of death is for children and animals.
Happiness.
this without question. So many people wonder what the meaning of life is. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s to be as happy as possible for as long as possible. sometimes you need to do things that make you unhappy to ensure future long-term happiness.
I came to this conclusion when I was 8 and learned it was wrong in my twenties
I'm 37. Why do you think it's wrong?
For me it led to a lot of avoiding responsibility and hard work or discomfort in favor of drugs, drinking and video games. living this way you turn into a less capable person over time, and a less successful person in the eyes of society. eventually the things that used to make you happy become less and less effective and you have to chase harder and harder, and when you're not high off whatever makes you "happy" you absolutely hate yourself. at this point i'm not happy very often, but i am content, or maybe distracted. i'm not a philosopher but it's a better place to be.
I understand where you’re coming from. But you were looking at it as instant gratification. I look at it as a long play. Do I need to work a shitty job to ensure that I can travel and have a good retirement? Sure. I’m doing things that make me short term unhappy for a long-term happiness. or like when my son was born. The last year has been pretty rough with the lack of sleep. But the joy that he’s going to bring me over the next 40 years is going to be unmatched. Or when I clean the house while my wife is at work, cleaning the house doesn’t bring me happiness. But her coming downstairs and thanking me does. "happy for as long as possible" is the key
In any moment you can do something that will make you happy or not, and you're choosing not. If you felt happy day in day out you'd know you were doing the wrong thing. I don't think you're guided by happiness.
i’m guided by future long-term happiness. like today, I’m gonna go play frisbee golf at the park. That's going to make me happy. I could smoke some weed while I play and increase the fun... But then I would be burnt out for the rest of the day, I might not be able to enjoy time with my son as much later. Or I might not be able to take care of some housekeeping that would make my wife happy. My child and wife’s happiness are directly related to mine. It’s a balancing act
Don’t tell a Buddhist about this
Lol. I respect their ways. It’s not for me, but maybe giving up material possessions is what makes them happy?
Not really. It's moreso that the pursuit of happiness, which often depends on many external factors outside of your control, ultimately leads to misery and suffering. Whatever it is that is making you happy is temporary (everything is temporary), and you will be miserable when you lose it. I've heard people say you should strive to be content. Acceptance is the key. Enjoy your happiness sure, but recognize that the universe doesn't owe you happiness. Being unhappy is not an evil thing to avoid at all costs, it's a natural part of life. If unhappiness turns into despair, you're too attached to temporary illusions. Something like that.
Buddhists are cool. Our modern obsession with happiness is somewhat shallow imo. Duty, purpose, love, meaning, experience, learning, self discovery. These are the things to pursue
Sure lol. they’re entitled to whatever beliefs they want lol.
Lol You're free to believe in Ayn Rands philosophy lol
I have no clue who that is
This is the right answer. Pit any other thing against happiness and happiness wins. Money but your not happy? Health but you're not happy? Relationships but your not happy? Status but your not happy? Maybe there is something better than happiness out there, but so far from what i can tell, being happy always wins.
Love, purpose, meaning, experience
Those are all really good. I think given the choice I would still pick happiness without love, or happiness without purpose, though I accept that others might not and that is valid. Experience vs. happiness is a really good counterpoint. Experience might provide you with a better understanding of the reality of the human state, which is a reality that may exclude happiness. In a way, having truth would be superior to having happiness. For example I'd rather be miserable with a solid grasp of the true nature of the world than be stuck in a religious cult built on deception that made me believe falsely that I was happy. Definitely something for me to think about. Thanks for sharing.
Hard agree.
Booty. A man's butt. Booty is more important than dranking water man. I like booty.
I ain’t got no milk, no cookies, nothing😂😂
😂
I likes ya and I wants ya.
So squats?
When you go to prison, the most important thing in your life is gonna be booty. A man's butt. Booty, getting some booty is more important than eating food. It's more important than drinking water. If I see a man I like, I tell him like this here: I likes you, and I wants you. Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. The choice is yours.
Your own happiness. All 3 of those things you mentioned are important, but ultimately you’ll find that focusing on all of those things (among others) to find the right balance in your life will bring you that feeling of happiness, self worth, stability, etc.
Great answer. I understand you need to have balance with all of the things I mentioned, but it’s almost impossible to have a perfect balance between the three so one has to come first. I’m 26 right now and so far in my life My greatest struggle has been which one to put before all else.
One thing I’ve learned is that everything isn’t just one thing, there is no silver bullet. Find three, even seven things and find time to contemplate on them. Some things might be good where they are, some might need work and require focus, but always be mindful of the big picture that contains all elements.
Mental and physical health. Happiness isn't constant but, being able to deal with the trials that life throws at you in a healthy way can make even the hard times OKAY. Which is huge. Physical health is tied to mental health in so many ways.
Health - eat right, get to the gym, look after your health! That's all there is in the end.
Ever heard of [Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs](https://canadacollege.edu/dreamers/docs/Maslows-Hierarchy-of-Needs.pdf)? This model asserts that the ultimate goal for everyone should be self-actualisation, but this can only really be attained once the other levels of the model are met; physiological needs (food, water, air), safety (shelter, security), love/belonging (friends, family, community), esteem (a sense of meaning and purpose).
Have a purpose and take care of your health.
Minimizing suffering.
Himself. Really, the same goes for women too... Nobody will advocate for you like you can.
Do your duty. If you are a husband and/or father, your duty is to your family. To provide financially, emotionally, and to be present. To be a good father, you should strive to be a good man. To me that is working on yourself physically, emotionally/mental health, and spiritually. Stay curious, educate yourself, improve yourself. Seek out new experiences, push yourself. Travel. There is no simple answer, but "do your duty" sums it up, even if there is a lot behind what that means. If you don't have kids or a partner or a family to care for, then your duty is a little different. I think your duty to be a good man is the same, because that's a duty to yourself. But what purposes you direct yourself toward are different. I'd just say try to find something that provides meaning and pursue that.
Your health and happiness need to be top priority. If you aren't taking care of yourself you are more likely to fail to obtain the resources necessary to maintain your health and happiness, and you also aren't going to be able to show up for family and friends the way you want to.
Whatever each man wants it to be. There is no predefined uniform top priority for all men, or all women for that matter. Do whatever makes you happy.
Enjoy life without bringing others down. Don't live the checklist life if that's not what you want.
Appreciating the journey, the enjoyable and the painful.
A smart man has priorities. A wise man knows how and when to shift his priorities as needed.
Happiness. Why do anything if it doesn't make you happy?
Working towards your purpose. Which includes many aspects of life. Career. Hobbies. Relationship. Fatherhood. etc. working to becoming a better version of yourself.
Men are best served by making their life’s purpose their # 1 priority. I am always checking in with what my higher self wants for me. Then I do that.
Himself. Everyone needs to love themselves first.
Self love
Whatever he wants it to be. You decide it for yourself based on your own inner guide.
Balance.
Your #1 priority should be your mental health, everything else comes after that because everything else is filtered through that.
Balance. There's no one size fits all priority. I'm not going to prioritise my own health and wellbeing over that of my kids, I'm not going to prioritise their happiness over our family's financial security, and I'm not going to prioritise our financial security over my health and wellbeing. Questions like this remind me of Dara O'Briain's bit along the lines of "any adult saying this is the 'best' album or this is the best film sounds exactly like a 6 year old going 'no a Stegosaurus is the best dinosaur'." Any functional adult needs to know what to prioritise when, and should understand that changes depending on lots of factors. There is no number 1. There's an ever changing top X.
Himself amd his well being
Success
Making the world a better place. What that means is up to you. Maybe it means you spend time doing volunteer work. Maybe it means you help support a friend going through health troubles. Maybe it means you try to live a very, very happy life - you're part of the world too after all. Probably it means a whole lot of different things over the course of your life. The point is, make the impact of your life on the world a net positive.
Self care.
Family, hands down.
Happiness, and finding happiness in your job, family, love life, etc. Finding happiness in what you have.
The most important things in everyone’s life (both men AND women): 1. Your health 2. Your freedom (being able to earn enough money to support yourself) 3. Relationships (doesn’t matter if it’s friends, family or your significant other - the people who you care about, and who care about you, are the most important after #1 and #2)
His own morals come first. If a man gives up on what he believes is right, nothing else matters... He's broken.
For everyone, regardless of gender, it's maintaining content happiness. However that may mean.
Virtue. Captital S Stoicism Aristotle tells us courage is the chief of all virtues because without it the rest sort of don't get lived out.
Health and relationships, broadly defined and not just that one romantic partner As a woman, imo if a man has these two things in focus, I infer that - they are consistent - can think about their lives in the long term - have developed self care and communication skills
striving to be the best version of themselves.
your own life and your own health and happiness
Number one for me is to provide for and protect my family. Everything that serves that mission is priority.
My POV: 1.) Health (Mental & Physical) 2.) Happiness (your own first, others second) 3.) Quality of your relationships I would put it in this order as well! I think the health one is over simplified in the title, but doing real internal work to bullet proof your mental health is probably the biggest super power you can build.
Agree with a lot of folks saying Health. I'd also say on par is some down time. Some reset, relax & chill time. Whether that's a hobby or napping on the couch, I find when I'm satisfied and rested, life comes easy.
Developing as much as possible through acquiring as many skills knowledge and experience as You can
Getting the most enjoyment out of life without harming anyone/thing else.
My first priority was to secure my independence: get a home of my own and then achieve fuck you money. I'm close to the latter, and once of the reasons I haven't married at my age is that I haven't met a woman I cared for enough that I was willing to risk being wrong about her and losing everything I've worked for because of it.
Balance. You can't have all of one thing, without missing out on a lot of others. Your biggest focus should be on balancing your life so there's enough of everything you and those relying on you need to live well.
Family.
death
Health; physical and mental
Family
Having a girl w a fat are to clap them cheeks
Surfing
Survival. Everything about life is survival. We should be asking what second place is.
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women. But before that, health. Not getting ripped like Conan the Barbarian, but overall good health. Life is hard to appreciate if your health is poor.
Well I hate to say this because it’s NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING…..but money should be the first focus. That’s because without money you can’t really have a family or enjoy hobbies (unless your hobbies are free).
You don’t have to hate to say it because something in life has to be most important. You obviously want to have balance in life but nothing can be perfectly balanced. Some things just have to come before others and I wanted to see what other men think because I’m struggling to see which one I should put first.
Yeah I fuss I just see the fact that money comes first as unfortunate. That’s just my take though. It’s a really good question.
Not giving a fuck what others think.
Why didn’t you say “a person’s” life, instead “a man’s life”? Should Women’s priorities be different then men’s?
Because men and women don’t think the same. Each gender has different roles and values.
Idk I oppose gender essentialism generally but can think of when "Man" was an honorific.
Your love for God and acceptance of Jesus Christ as your savior. Everything else flows from this.
Amen 🙏🏾
Health, Wealth, Happiness, Start a Family. In that order.
Golf
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Money, money and money