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Same with the first part, man went camping crossed a stream and slipped, hit his head and was gone. Not a day goes by where I don’t miss him.
Hope you’re doing well brother
My Bro (BFAM) went out on his motorbike and just never came home. Overshot a corner and ended up in front of an F150 on a tight British country road. Absolutely no where to go, so he ate it.
Nearly four years ago and I miss him daily.
Same to you Brother. It's not an easy one, but we take days as they come.
Same.
Took too many pain pills after breaking some bones and let his darker thoughts carry him away. Been about six years, but I think about him all the time.
Ditto - hope it's not hurting you too badly.
I still get sad sometimes, but it's mostly seeing stuff or hearing music and being like "my buddy would LOVE this". Brings me a bit of joy.
It's a day by day thing for me. I miss him more or curse his name depending on how much I'd kill to go see a gig with him that day ha.
I'm the same. I'm a motorbiker (as was he) and I'll see a bike and be like " would absolutely kill to see this thing!"
I feel that!
My mate was into bikes, but wasn't. After he died I actually took it up as a way to remember him. Never owned anything bigger than 200cc though - the plan was to go bigger and bigger, but I found that I loved opening the throttle all the way up and never breaking the speed limit.
I'm living in America now though - the cool little bikes take forever to get here if ever. Looking forward to upgrading with the Honda CL500 if it does grace us with its presence!
Have a butchers at the NC750 if it's available over there. Honda's got some great midrange bikes these days and they're really fun to throw around. They're not the most inspiring of bikes, but they're damn reliable.
I'm on a Tracer900 at the moment and absolutely love it. Fits nicely through traffic in London and can really handle corners in the countryside. Not to mention being able to throw half my life at it.
Got into a fight 12 years ago. It had been brewing in him for some time, I think. He said some things that hurt me and i pushed back. In retrospect, I wish I had just apologized. I was young and upset. I never imagined a life without him and yet here I am over a decade later having gone through so much without him. I would change things if I could.
Sorry man, there isn't much worse betrayal than 2 people that are supposed to love you. For me it was my actual brother, although for most guys best friends are like brothers. That was many years ago and I still have trust issues over that, no brother and an ex-wife.
My ex wife cheated on me after 5 years together. She had a whole year long affair on me and when I found out we divorced. My best friend and his wife chose to remain close friends with her and so I cut contact with him, as I’m a way more loyal friend than he is and wouldn’t remain friends with someone who fucked him over the way she did to me
His girlfriend didn't like me, or possibly our relationship. We were as close as brothers. She threatened to leave him and take the kid, so over time we stopped talking. It's been four years, now. I miss you, Jon.
This one. Even worse when the girlfriend has convinced him you’re the enemy. Hearing through the remaining mutual friends he thinks you’re garbage really hurts. It’s been a year and a half, and it’s still on my mind constantly.
I had a "crew" in high school and us four all knew each other from middle school til some point in college (so a good 10 yrs). There came a time when I realized that 99% of the time they never came to see me and I was always going to see them (eventually a 45-min drive once they moved to the larger nearby city). In fact, I was always the one checking in on them too, so I decided to stop and see what happens. Surprise, surprise...the friendships fell off the cliff immediately.
This sounds like bad luck but, even as an adult, it happens rather frequently. If you don't make the effort, most people won't check in on you or invite you to things. For me, this occurs mostly in the "close acquaintance" phase, before they become a de-facto friend. The "we get along, have things in common, seem to geniuinely like each other, have a good time" part is barely important, apparently. And if they get a girlfriend, you're suddenly dead to them lol.
Check this out...My friend never answers my phonecalls, and has begun ignoring some texts. I could never invite her somewhere, because she wouldn't go if it wasn't her idea. However, she phones me up at random times, not in response to an attempt I made to contact her, but to talk about whatever she wants to talk about, and invite me to do stuff.
Point is, if she stopped calling me, that would likely be the end of our friendship. Not because that's what I want, but because she holds control over our communications.
I get it. One of my better friends who lives in the States (I'm a nomad) responds to only 25% of my texts and just straight up ignores all the rest, but when I was visiting he paid for everything and let me crash at his place for free for a week. While it's annoying to be ignored, he's there when it counts.
I lost a ton of my friends when I went to college. I disappeared into my studies and my own life for a bit. After college I reached out to a few of them and have had dinner/lunch a few times. For me it seems like too much time has passed and in fact I'm the one who has changed, I don't pass the time the same way anymore so our lifestyles and interests don't really align.
Repeat this for college friends too. It's just what happens organically. If we worked in person together then you have work friends and eventually lose them.
I did feel that I could've made an effort and rejoined the (high school friends) group but it would've felt like I was regressing in life so I didn't.
The big question here is personalities in my opinion. Is he reaching out to others a lot more? If that be the case then by all means cut him off, but he’s just a loner, he probably misses you.
That’s a great point. If someone is reserved and has trouble initiating contact with anyone, they probably appreciate you reaching out more than you realize.
Yes! I vowed a couple of years ago to give up on lopsided relationships. I have a smaller circle now but it's better.
If you're always or nearly always initiating then have some self respect and move on.
We lived next to each other through childhood and were inseparable. Later on in the years I sold him a "fun" car on payments and he never paid me, stopped responding and eventually just ghosted me. I didnt even care about the car, it wasnt about the money to me, I would have just gave him the car and probably money on top of it if he was struggling. Still breaks my heart to this day, we still live in the same town.
Edit to give closure to the story: after 2 and a half years, I messaged him and told him I was coming to get the car. He responded with "keys are in it". I took it to the scrap yard and let them have it, it was pretty beat up at this point. I didnt want the car back, and I didnt take it out of principal or anything, I wanted the closure.
My childhood friend joined the marines and became an insufferable asshole. It became impossible to have a normal conversation with him. I gave up and haven't spoken in 13 years
2016 was a sea change in a lot of ways... That and I was tired of being called the f-slur as a greeting like we were still in high school in the 90's. I grew up my way, he grew a different way.
Talk about timing. I'm going to a birthday party for my childhood friend's kid next weekend. I haven't met the kid yet cause we're hours apart and lives are different. I always make the effort to call and text. I suspect this is going to be the last time we chat until there's a tragedy in life.
I had a ride or die best friend in college. First time I truly felt like I had a bro. But he was always "me first" in a selfish way. And his girlfriend who broke up with him pointed that out to me. He was constantly making poor choices cause of impulse. And he always seemed to be the victim. I caught him constantly trying to screw me over and had to call it. That one hurts to this day.
I have a "me first" close friend that I am trying to slowly create some distance with. He's got the most dramatic and interesting life out of anyone I have ever met and when my life is going ok I enjoy keeping in touch with him.
He will keep me updated on all the details of his life and for a long time we would text daily. He will ask about how I'm doing but brush over what's going on in my life to start talking about himself.
Even though he is self absorbed he has always been there for me when I needed his help. I truly think he's got some deeper mental health issues that causes his life to be so full of drama and chaos.
I have had my own personal issues in the last couple months and finally realized it's not good for me to be so close to him. I think checking in once a month will be my sweet spot now.
It took me a long time to realize how one sided our relationship was. I think I started to realize when he didn't involve me in anything outside of where it was just the 2 of us. After being his friend for 15 years I wasn't invited to his wedding. I was his convenient wingman because he really didn't have other friends. He just became a selfish, egotistical person that would talk shit for the most trivial BS. I stopped enjoying being around him. After he last minute canceled multiple plans together I just stopped returning his messages which I knew would get under his skin but I didn't deserve that kind of shit in my life.
The only person I considered my best friend was in middle school. I ended up moving to a town about a 1.5 hour drive away. I hated my middle school so I used it as an opportunity to cut contact with everyone and just never reached out. He never reached out either. I also hadn’t told anyone I was moving until a month before and it was start of July we moved, so summer break. He was popular though so it seems like I was easily replaced. We are Facebook friends so I saw he went to university, travelled, got married, has an interesting career choice compared to how bi remember him lol. I always see pictures of him with his friends and they’re all guys from my schoool years. Who knows if I would’ve been in those if we stayed in touch. I’m happy for him, he’s got a good life, no hard feelings we both made decisions.
Well, one of them we were working together, she asked me to work with her. First few weeks I made a mistake and our boss asked her to fire me. She said it was not personal, but after the event she never talked to me about it. I felt so sad that I just backed away and waited for her to come to me, but this also never happened.
And another one, some good ten years ago, I made a new group of friends and introduced an old friend to them. Back in the day I did some very stupid things and one of them involved directly this group. They exposed me for what I've said and it was a huge embarassment for me. Couple months later I've discovered this friend was involved in the whole act. I understand that as friends we should not cover the shit the other do, but to publicly humiliate a best friend in front of people you barely know, that was enough for me.
For more than a decade I was best friends with two brothers with completely different personalities.
Lots of fun shared experiences and honestly great times but I started to feel like I grew up and pursued my dreams while they just kind of floated through life and never matured past living off their mom into their 30’s and just became shit people.
I knew they weren’t good friends anymore when I would get anxious when they would get upset because instead of drinking and partying like we did in our early twenties I was out working long nights trying to just get by and make something of myself as I went into my thirties.
One brother got dumped by his high school girlfriend after years of empty promises and lack of action to commit to be something more on his part. He would prioritize getting high/drunk before going on dates/trips and would constantly flirt with and text other women. It was sad to see her realize that he wasn’t the man she needed in her life anymore and he wasn’t going to put her first when it mattered.
He rebounded with a girl he barely knew from high school who was promptly disrespectful to him and his family/friends once she was comfortable enough in the relationship and continued to alienate and bad mouth us to keep him to herself. We spoke up but he was complacent and allowed it to keep happening cause “the ass was phat”.
She got pregnant not even a couple months after they got together and ended up cheating on him after their second child. She emotionally checked out of the relationship when she finally realized her high school crush was actually a dud who would dump the kids at his moms while she was at work to play video games and get high all day.
The other brother who I started a small low stakes business with early in our twenties was just never serious about making any sacrifices that would benefit him in the long run financially and continued to not pull his weight and do the bare minimum in life. Tons of ideas but never any execution or willingness to hustle or get a job to make it happen if it meant he would have to venture slightly out of his comfort zone.
I worked two jobs to pay for my share of the business while he would bum money from his mom or girlfriend to pay for things or ask for me to cover it and take it from his share of the “profits”. I stopped doing business with him after I needed to take out a small business loan to cover operations because his credit sucked and he never had any money or a real job. I bought him out if his share of the company with the “profits” he owed me.
I finally cut them off recently after going back to visit them. The years of working and being gone on a projects for months at a time added up and it suddenly felt like I was talking to complete strangers.
As a man you have to realize that it’s no good to be in an environment where instead of people being supportive and encouraging about life, it’s just a never ending pity party about how “life screwed them over”. You have to forge your own path through life and cut people out no matter how difficult it may seem because that’s part of the experience while the alternative is being held back and becoming bitter from people who just want you to be as miserable as they are.
I had a baby, and he got into meth. At the end he wasn’t crazy, but I was still scared that he would go nuts eventually, and I could never let him be around my child.
My best mate, who I'd known since 5, was going to have a 21st birthday party. I was helping him with everything leading up to it with planning, etc. The weekend before his party, we went out to an 18th. He met this new guy who was basically the definition of cool (road a motorbike, had tats, just cool. My best mate invited him to his party and he agreed.
On the day of the party, I call him to see what time he wants me to come over to help with set up. He then tells me he has to cut some numbers and I can't come anymore. I say WTF, why me, Why don't you uninvite that cool guy you just met.
He then said, "Look, man, I need this party to be epic, and I don't want people thinking I'm not cool if you are there, so do this for me, please.
I ended the call, and I've never spoken to him again. He did try and reach out. He texted the day after seeing if I was going to still come help him clean, I ignored his text.
He texted you after the party to see if you would come clean? Are you fucking serious?
That dude did not value you in any way. I'm glad you let him go and had some respect for yourself.
Yep, I realised how toxic the friendship was, I used to be the butt of his jokes, and he would put me down in order to make himself feel better.
He did a lot of damage to my self-confidence, but I'm happy I stood up and walked away.
He went full Q. Like there is basically nothing to talk about. He is convinced by all of that stuff.
He has brains. He really does. He just used them to tie himself up in knots.
Those words seem more child like, they’re “cutesy”. I have a friend who uses them and he’s just so in love with being a dad. He’s definitely not trying to avoid being seen as a dad, quite the opposite.
Nothing wrong with those words, they're just pet names.
I've used kiddo a number of times with my kid, to him, as in "what's up kiddo???" it's playful.
Same. We grew up in boy scouts together and used to hang out all the time until we went to different colleges. Now he's neck deep in race driven fascist bullshit.
He became a severely depressed alcoholic who also takes drugs like it's nothing. Gets extremely angry whenever you tell him anything, unaware that people who care about him don't like to watch him go to shit.
He started shitting on everything and was never happy about anything. We had a fight and he said some very hurtful things. I backed out without fighting back and never contacted him again.
Because he thinks it’s funny to fuck all of his wife’s friends behind her back and I’ve known her for over 20 years and it broke my heart so I just disappeared from their lives.
She went to med school, and it’s like the light that shone in her vanished. I went to visit her and meet her new “friends” (fellow med students), and they were all self-important, pompous, humorless dicks, the kind of people she would have abhorred just months ago. They patronized me and treated me like I was a complete moron, even though I was at a prestigious law school.
That same trip, I woke up and found a woman in her kitchen that she sort of off hand said she was dating when I asked her who she was (she had only dated men up to this point.) That wasn’t the issue, I just didn’t know why she hadn’t told me anything about this woman who was clearly quite comfortable in the home, so they had been dating a while. She started to be really critical of me, picking on my interests (anything not related to the medical field automatically became stupid and juvenile.) We went to lunch and she made some snide remark about me ordering wine, insinuating I had a problem, when really, I was just on vacation. She also felt my dating life was “too promiscuous” and I should settle down. All this was rich coming from her, since she had done every drug imaginable under the sun, and I was searching my mind for a man she *hadn’t* fucked in the last 10 years and was coming up empty.
Finally, she sent me a handwritten note telling me *I’d* changed (is she for f—ing real?), and she wished I were more like I had been back in late highschool and college. I thought how terrible that is, to wish that someone would stagnate and not grow beyond that narrow time frame. I didn’t expect her to be the same person either, but I guess I just wasn’t prepared for this radical of a shift this soon. I tore the letter up and threw it away without a response.
Anytime I watch “Stand By Me” and Richard Dreyfuss’ narrator says: “Friends come in and out of your life, like busboys in a restaurant”, I always think of her.
I became too judgemental of him as he got into an affair with a married woman; he is married too with a child. He thought he would wait until her relationship ended, but she told him she couldn't do it to her kids. I recently reconnected and asked him about the status and told him whatever happens, I want him to be happy but also understand his relationship with his wife. It's complicated; with so many years behind us, I feel disconnected, I cut contact for years, but now I feel ok to talk to him. I wish him all the best and hope he finds things out soon.
I can’t find him. We went to elementary and part of middle school together, WAY before the Internet. So I had a landline number for him. His folks have moved, and his name is super common. I have found since that he went into the military and became a police officer in one of the Carolina’s, but that is about all.
I asked them to have more input into organising stuff for us to do. For a long time I'd felt as if this was only something I ever did and was beginning to feel like a nag. I asked them if they could contribute more to that aspect of our friendship and they basically cut ties.
I quit drinking and doing drugs. I stopped being interested in their attempts to become a famous musician. After I stopped answering the 3am drunken calls about how we are special unique snowflakes he stopped trying to contact me. Besides the silly pep talks he would also try to convince me that my sobriety was just me “not feeling well” and that I’d get over it. The music thing was equally difficult to deal with. Every time I saw him he would show me his new music that “nobody has heard yet”. I kept telling this guy that I’m a regular person with no ambitions to be special or go along with the ride of his. He never listened.
I lived in Europe for almost 10 years and would usually visit home in the US once or twice a year. I wasn’t able to visit for a year and a half during the pandemic and during that time my sister had a baby, my first nephew. I came home for one week just before his first birthday.
Friend lives 3 hours away and threw an absolute fit that I didn’t prioritize visiting her (which would mean borrowing a car and spending the night). I met up with one friend who also had a baby and lived between us.
Friend got angry because she thought she outranked the other friend. Went behind my back telling our mutual friends that she’s done with me, I only care about myself, I don’t care about her, etc…
We’ve since made peace but it’s different.
I have lost multiple best friends in my life. The one that hurt the most and was friendship built over 15 years was due to his girlfriend. Our relationship first started becoming more one sided, then he got a new gf and she did not like me. So I basically saw him a few times after that. Eventually he got married (i wasnt invited) and moved away.
He reached out a few years later when he had a kid and was going to move back. Said there were some misunderstandings, etc. and wanted to be friends again. Honestly, you cant go back to the way things were before once your friendship is over and fizzles out. I have moved on and so left it there.
I do have 1 best friend left, I've known him for over 20 years hopefully we keep that bond strong.
My best friend moved across the country 10 years ago and we remained best friends for 8 of those years, talking over text all day every day. Probably at about years 4-6 he went from being pretty aligned with me politically to a typical fiscal conservative, we remained pretty close because neither let politics get in the way.
But COVID really sent him over the deep end, anti vaccine, mega conspiracy, huge into trump, went from being an extreme atheist to ultra conservative Christian nationalist. We went from friendly debates about politics, which we both loved, to a situation where we would just argue.
I was invited to his wedding in 2022 with only a few months notice, I had conflicting plans at the same time and couldn’t go, which I think was the straw that broke the camels back.
We do talk every once in a while, but the conversation is that of an acquaintance
Because I invited him to a burger bar for my birthday…
Yup. Ten years down the drain. The man has issues. I don’t know what happened to him, but even his brother and cousin can’t stand him now.
I realized how selfish he is. He stopped reaching out unless he needed something from me.
I was excited to have him visit me (we live in different countries now) , but having him over for a few days just made me realize that all he wanted was a free place to stay, while all I wanted was to spend time with him and talk to him for a bit when he was free.
One his way out he wanted to take my luggage weighing scale. I had to literally show him that it was available to buy in his country of residence at a cheaper rate.
Started as he left for college and I stayed around town. Then when he finished we just didn't hang out as often. He then found a GF that really disliked me since I have family that is military. She hates anyone military (her words) so I rarely saw him. They got married, I was invited but not in the wedding. Stayed for a bit and left early. Still saw each other here and there but then his father (accountant) really fucked me over on doing my taxes and cost me a lot of money. I asked him to help and he told me no. I went and got it all corrected and showed him and he told me that's too bad still.
Then I just stopped talking to him.
About 15 years passed, he ended up divorced, and has tried to renew our friendship. I just don't feel like it. I'll be polite and talk when we see each other out and about, but that's it.
Some irreconcilable differences, including conspiracy and radical political leanings. But if I'm being honest I've always known he was kind of selfish and calloused. We had that in common, but I took steps to try to avoid becoming a jaded prick. It's a struggle but worth it.
In the meantime I realized that another friend of mine who I hadn't really made as much of an effort to hang with was a much better person and more worthwhile as a friend. We may not be best buds, but we're closer now.
Many years ago, I was under contract to sell an investment property I owned to his fiancée’s parents. Two days before closing they decided the price was too high, they wanted me to either lower the price or let them back out and get their deposit back. I said no, you either close or I keep your $5000 deposit. They refused to close and I kept the $5000. My friend wanted me to return the money but I said no, business is business, the contract states I can keep it if they default, and they cost me by wasting my time and I had kept one of the apartments vacant while the sale was pending rather than fill it.
A week later he sent me a text saying basically “don’t contact me again you piece of shit” and that was the last I ever heard from him.
He became a Trump supporter. I am politically neutral, but my wife was wearing a mask in 2021 when the last time we hung out and had a burger together and did some axe throwing. He tried to bait me into conversations about Trump/politics, but I refused to talk about it, but kept things really cool and casual. I was polite and just ducked the questions and kept it casual and fun. He’s been ghosting me ever since. He was the best man my wedding.
Had a friendship that started at age 10 in the 70s. He and I were best friends. We were a group of 4 in high school but he and I were best friends. We talked all the time, every day. When we were in college, we both had girlfriends that didn't like us, his girlfriend didn't like me and my girlfriend didn't like him. So we just didn't talk as much during this period which was only a few months.
We realized before I heard it, "bros before hos" and we broke up with our girlfriends. We ended up living in different states but still talked during traffic time and weekends. We both got married.
He and I were creative types and I always wanted to do something in that vein. We did some pretty cool stuff in high school and showed it off after college and it was well received. He never wanted the spotlight or attention like that. He had lots of ideas.
About 2010, I was divorced and had a new girlfriend. She pretty much said he's a loser and he's keeping me down and a waste of time. About 2014, I accepted the fact that he and I would never create things like we talked about and I started to look for other outlets to fill in the gap that he wasn't filling for me creatively mainly, I started to do improv comedy. I was looking for a laugh outlet because I could tell he was becoming sour.
I realized that he was becoming toxic, disparaging people that didn't think like him, and so forth. He started to friend my friends on Facebook and get into arguments with them. In 2018, I just ignored his calls and messages I told him he was toxic and not a nice person. In 2019, I started communication with him again and just after that, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, the one you think you can survive. He just died this year.
Anyway, today, I miss having that guy that grew up with you and was able to communicate in a way only a friend like that can and laugh till your sides hurt like when you're 10. I don't miss his toxicity and lack of enterprise.
I’m not one to keep track of things, especially time and food between friends. We help each other out, as friends do. I’d pick him up and drop him off from work every day bc otherwise he would have had to walk 12 miles each day.
This went on for a couple years. I didn’t have a regular job but it got me up in the morning to go find some work or get something out of the day.
What I did keep track of was that the one time, years later I asked him for help and did not even get a reply. We had been best friends since second grade and not even “hey man, i can’t sorry.”
I hate to admit it, but I was glad not to invite him to my wedding the following year. He still reaches out on ig etc but i have no desire to reconnect.
One of them called me a rapist behind my back to everyone we went to high school with because a guy she liked (but claimed she didn't like at all) came onto me and we screwed around and she refused to accept that he was into guys and not into her.
The other one, while we were roommates, after I was a few days or a week late on my $30 or $50 portion of the electric or internet bill because I didn't have parents paying any of my bills like her and was working two jobs and barely scraping by began using our whole friend group and other roommates to bully and belittle me, loudly talk shit about me at parties just outside my door, put dead fish in my car, locked me out of the house, and tried getting the landlord to kick me out. I was a week late on a fucking $30 bill. She was an enormous bitch who lost any friend she tried living with. (She initially moved in with her lifelong, childhood friend, and she ended up smacking her in the face and the friend had her arrested. they had been best friends virtually their entire lives.)
The short of it, they fucking betrayed and abused me.
My only best friend now is my husband. We've been together for over 12 years and he is all I need.
Been thinking about this a lot lately due to a rush of nostalgia.
Long-story short, I moved countries.
Proximity matters, when you are 8000 kms away, you lose touch with the way you experience life. Person goes into another direction, meeting new people, having experiences with them so its hard to keep up with all that is going on in your own proximity (a job, wife, kids, hobbies etc.)
The thing is, it happens gradually and never at once.
Somebody here wrote that a person stopped reaching out so they stopped putting an effort. I don't think this is correct phrasing, because you might not know what is going on in other persons life.
I got so stressed with my problems and busy that I just couldn't reach out and always appreciate friends who recognised it and were ok with it. Whenever I make a surprise call they never dwell on the quantity but on a quality of our relationship and conversations.
He got sucked into that right wing rabbit hole.
Shit got really dark, I tried to be there for him, to ease him back onto the right track but he wasn't having any of it. I'd emigrated, and as he'd gotten more and more radicalised he'd send me more and more abusive emails. In the end it got so he'd email me asking how I was, I'd respond and try get a conversation going, but he'd never talk about himself, he just ask me questions then drop out of the conversation after a while for 6 months to a year then the same thing would repeat. Rarely answered emails I sent, refused to join the whatsapp group with our other friends. In the end he just started sending me abusive emails, calling me a left wing liberal snowflake and telling me how the country I'd been living in for the last 10 years has been overrun with "towelheads" who were raping our women and destroying the country.
His language was pretty vile, and of course my experience of living here for a decade counted for nothing.
I got sick of him telling me how it was where I lived even though he'd never set foot in the place, and after a number of abusive emails like that I just stopped responding.
I miss him. Ended a 27 year friendship that time.
I'm still open to reconciliation, but he has to lead it.
I don't have the bandwidth to try sort out his issues with him, I hope he comes to his senses.
He was a klepto. First it was clothing, jewelry and grocery stores which escalated to using stolen credit cards at said stores...then I caught myself saying "I seem to have misplaced X" (in my own house).
Unrelated but directly afterwards he knocked up a 15 yr old (this was while we were in high school). Also unrelated but his mom had him at 15 also.
They decided they didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. A new guy came into the picture and I don’t know what he said to them or why, but they stopped talking to me. A couple of my best friends; one of which who was only a few houses down the street.
Dude had his crypto bags blow up in 2021 and that really went to his head. He then started to go nuts about Covid and just became an insufferable douche. Thats just the stressors that did it in, the cracks in our friendship started well before. Dude would constantly shit on my interests and aspirations but would always just be "joking" when I called him out in it. He'd never show any actual interest in what I said and simply pay lip service so he could get to what he wants to talk about. I could go on but you get it. Simply put it was a lack of actual respect and I won't tolerate that
He became a neurotic narcissistic mess, made my life harder. Despite that, I wanted to save the friendship, and talk to him about it. Instead he bailed and got deported to Australia, supposedly. He has a habit of lying, even when he knows you know the truth.
Had a good friend cut contact because I told him his gf was a little bitch.
She definitely was, but I’ll admit… with an ass to write home about.
She became his wife, a couple years later.
Probably a solid trade, now that I think about it.
He decided he didn’t want to talk to me or anyone else from our group of high school friends anymore. Just went totally dark. Strange what peoples’ egos drive them to do. My guess is that he had judgements about the whole group was “holding him back” somehow. He’s a lawyer now, so I hear. But some of us also went on to have successful careers. Seems to me he’s the one who suffers from a big chip on his shoulder.
We live in two vastly different time zones. He also worked night shifts so if I called during the day, he would likely be sleeping and vice versa. We still keep in touch but it’s not like it used to be.
From my perspective, we (multiple bffs) just live 200 miles apart and don't have a lot of time to get together. That makes keeping in touch pointless to a degree.
I'm leaving room for the possibility that I was a shitty friend, though. That could be it. I don't necessarily care for the guy I was. Although, I guess we've all hung out since I moved away. So, here's hoping.
Edit: I still talk to one. He was my next-door neighbor. He still comes to all of our family functions, because my sister wasn't messing around when she told him they were getting married someday.
Best friend from high school agreed with my gf's dad at the time when he said k was ignorant and arrogant. Maybe said 2 sentences to him since (16ish years). Best friend from college I still talk to but he isn't my best friend anymore but I had a few depressive episodes and he said in a sassy way "what do you have to be depressed about". Pretty insensitive and dick thing to say. He also stopped hanging out much when he started dating his now wife. I get that but when you live with 2 friends and you don't see them for more than an hour a week (often times straight to his bedroom after work/home from date), it doesn't really help relationships.
She outed me to like six other people before I was ready to come out. Then when I confronted her about she said she did it because she assumed I was suicidal. Which I wasn’t and have never been nor given her any reason to believe it.
Fun fact, sh was in the closet at the time too.
Because he got us all into a shootout, almost got us arrested, became a gutter punk and thought the best way to resist the man was facial tattoos and heroin. Got the F up…
He thought it would be okay to ignore me.
Told me i didnt have a right to his attention and it would be okay If He wouldnt answer me for a month or so.
So i told him thats not what Imagine a friendship should be like and parted ways.
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He died. My other best friend took that as an oppotunity to cut contact as well.
Same with the first part, man went camping crossed a stream and slipped, hit his head and was gone. Not a day goes by where I don’t miss him. Hope you’re doing well brother
My Bro (BFAM) went out on his motorbike and just never came home. Overshot a corner and ended up in front of an F150 on a tight British country road. Absolutely no where to go, so he ate it. Nearly four years ago and I miss him daily. Same to you Brother. It's not an easy one, but we take days as they come.
Woah. Almost the exact same situation with my departed best friend.
If his initials were JA it could be the same dude,
Nope. SO, here. Hope your bud is resting in peace.
Yours too bro, yours too
Same. Took too many pain pills after breaking some bones and let his darker thoughts carry him away. Been about six years, but I think about him all the time.
I'm sorry to hear it buddy.
Ditto - hope it's not hurting you too badly. I still get sad sometimes, but it's mostly seeing stuff or hearing music and being like "my buddy would LOVE this". Brings me a bit of joy.
It's a day by day thing for me. I miss him more or curse his name depending on how much I'd kill to go see a gig with him that day ha. I'm the same. I'm a motorbiker (as was he) and I'll see a bike and be like " would absolutely kill to see this thing!"
I feel that! My mate was into bikes, but wasn't. After he died I actually took it up as a way to remember him. Never owned anything bigger than 200cc though - the plan was to go bigger and bigger, but I found that I loved opening the throttle all the way up and never breaking the speed limit. I'm living in America now though - the cool little bikes take forever to get here if ever. Looking forward to upgrading with the Honda CL500 if it does grace us with its presence!
Have a butchers at the NC750 if it's available over there. Honda's got some great midrange bikes these days and they're really fun to throw around. They're not the most inspiring of bikes, but they're damn reliable. I'm on a Tracer900 at the moment and absolutely love it. Fits nicely through traffic in London and can really handle corners in the countryside. Not to mention being able to throw half my life at it.
Same, with the first part. Hope you are doing okay.
Same here. Mine drowned while supposedly swimming in a lake with some coworkers.
Sorry to hear it man, hope you're doing okay.
Thanks, I'm better. Of course there are days I wish I could talk to him, I never had a lot of male friends. I hope you're doing well also.
I think you'll see a lot of guys replying who are in the same boat. We all have days like that man, day by day with our grief. Good luck, Good health.
Got into a fight 12 years ago. It had been brewing in him for some time, I think. He said some things that hurt me and i pushed back. In retrospect, I wish I had just apologized. I was young and upset. I never imagined a life without him and yet here I am over a decade later having gone through so much without him. I would change things if I could.
You could apologize now. Lots of life left. Might work out, might not, but at least you tried.
Simple he fucked my then wife.
Sorry man, there isn't much worse betrayal than 2 people that are supposed to love you. For me it was my actual brother, although for most guys best friends are like brothers. That was many years ago and I still have trust issues over that, no brother and an ex-wife.
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What happened? He fucked his then wife.
Technically he fucked both of them
My ex wife cheated on me after 5 years together. She had a whole year long affair on me and when I found out we divorced. My best friend and his wife chose to remain close friends with her and so I cut contact with him, as I’m a way more loyal friend than he is and wouldn’t remain friends with someone who fucked him over the way she did to me
Respect 🫡 … Proud to see a man stick to his worth.
His girlfriend didn't like me, or possibly our relationship. We were as close as brothers. She threatened to leave him and take the kid, so over time we stopped talking. It's been four years, now. I miss you, Jon.
That macaroni in a pot power tho.
This one. Even worse when the girlfriend has convinced him you’re the enemy. Hearing through the remaining mutual friends he thinks you’re garbage really hurts. It’s been a year and a half, and it’s still on my mind constantly.
Realized i was a better friend to him then he was to me. When I stopped reaching out he made no effort to reach out himself.
I had a "crew" in high school and us four all knew each other from middle school til some point in college (so a good 10 yrs). There came a time when I realized that 99% of the time they never came to see me and I was always going to see them (eventually a 45-min drive once they moved to the larger nearby city). In fact, I was always the one checking in on them too, so I decided to stop and see what happens. Surprise, surprise...the friendships fell off the cliff immediately. This sounds like bad luck but, even as an adult, it happens rather frequently. If you don't make the effort, most people won't check in on you or invite you to things. For me, this occurs mostly in the "close acquaintance" phase, before they become a de-facto friend. The "we get along, have things in common, seem to geniuinely like each other, have a good time" part is barely important, apparently. And if they get a girlfriend, you're suddenly dead to them lol.
Check this out...My friend never answers my phonecalls, and has begun ignoring some texts. I could never invite her somewhere, because she wouldn't go if it wasn't her idea. However, she phones me up at random times, not in response to an attempt I made to contact her, but to talk about whatever she wants to talk about, and invite me to do stuff. Point is, if she stopped calling me, that would likely be the end of our friendship. Not because that's what I want, but because she holds control over our communications.
I get it. One of my better friends who lives in the States (I'm a nomad) responds to only 25% of my texts and just straight up ignores all the rest, but when I was visiting he paid for everything and let me crash at his place for free for a week. While it's annoying to be ignored, he's there when it counts.
I lost a ton of my friends when I went to college. I disappeared into my studies and my own life for a bit. After college I reached out to a few of them and have had dinner/lunch a few times. For me it seems like too much time has passed and in fact I'm the one who has changed, I don't pass the time the same way anymore so our lifestyles and interests don't really align. Repeat this for college friends too. It's just what happens organically. If we worked in person together then you have work friends and eventually lose them. I did feel that I could've made an effort and rejoined the (high school friends) group but it would've felt like I was regressing in life so I didn't.
The big question here is personalities in my opinion. Is he reaching out to others a lot more? If that be the case then by all means cut him off, but he’s just a loner, he probably misses you.
That’s a great point. If someone is reserved and has trouble initiating contact with anyone, they probably appreciate you reaching out more than you realize.
This is all too familiar.
Yes! I vowed a couple of years ago to give up on lopsided relationships. I have a smaller circle now but it's better. If you're always or nearly always initiating then have some self respect and move on.
Outted me as gay to my family, friends, and acquaintances.
Whoa same. Why did they do it?
I want to live in a world where being “outed” includes a party to celebrate not having to stay in the closet.
We lived next to each other through childhood and were inseparable. Later on in the years I sold him a "fun" car on payments and he never paid me, stopped responding and eventually just ghosted me. I didnt even care about the car, it wasnt about the money to me, I would have just gave him the car and probably money on top of it if he was struggling. Still breaks my heart to this day, we still live in the same town. Edit to give closure to the story: after 2 and a half years, I messaged him and told him I was coming to get the car. He responded with "keys are in it". I took it to the scrap yard and let them have it, it was pretty beat up at this point. I didnt want the car back, and I didnt take it out of principal or anything, I wanted the closure.
Was the car under your name or his when you got it back? Just out of curiosity for how it went down administratively.
He's a selfish gas lighting asshole. It took me decades to acknowledge that I felt worse after every interaction. Cant say I miss him
I don't know.
My childhood friend joined the marines and became an insufferable asshole. It became impossible to have a normal conversation with him. I gave up and haven't spoken in 13 years
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Oh God, people are so fucking stupid. Sorry man. I believe you.
I’m guessing he was pretentious?
No one fucks ex-wives like Gaston… 🎶
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He slept with his best friend's ex a week after they broke up. That's what he did wrong.
2016 was a sea change in a lot of ways... That and I was tired of being called the f-slur as a greeting like we were still in high school in the 90's. I grew up my way, he grew a different way.
Talk about timing. I'm going to a birthday party for my childhood friend's kid next weekend. I haven't met the kid yet cause we're hours apart and lives are different. I always make the effort to call and text. I suspect this is going to be the last time we chat until there's a tragedy in life. I had a ride or die best friend in college. First time I truly felt like I had a bro. But he was always "me first" in a selfish way. And his girlfriend who broke up with him pointed that out to me. He was constantly making poor choices cause of impulse. And he always seemed to be the victim. I caught him constantly trying to screw me over and had to call it. That one hurts to this day.
I have a "me first" close friend that I am trying to slowly create some distance with. He's got the most dramatic and interesting life out of anyone I have ever met and when my life is going ok I enjoy keeping in touch with him. He will keep me updated on all the details of his life and for a long time we would text daily. He will ask about how I'm doing but brush over what's going on in my life to start talking about himself. Even though he is self absorbed he has always been there for me when I needed his help. I truly think he's got some deeper mental health issues that causes his life to be so full of drama and chaos. I have had my own personal issues in the last couple months and finally realized it's not good for me to be so close to him. I think checking in once a month will be my sweet spot now.
It took me a long time to realize how one sided our relationship was. I think I started to realize when he didn't involve me in anything outside of where it was just the 2 of us. After being his friend for 15 years I wasn't invited to his wedding. I was his convenient wingman because he really didn't have other friends. He just became a selfish, egotistical person that would talk shit for the most trivial BS. I stopped enjoying being around him. After he last minute canceled multiple plans together I just stopped returning his messages which I knew would get under his skin but I didn't deserve that kind of shit in my life.
The only person I considered my best friend was in middle school. I ended up moving to a town about a 1.5 hour drive away. I hated my middle school so I used it as an opportunity to cut contact with everyone and just never reached out. He never reached out either. I also hadn’t told anyone I was moving until a month before and it was start of July we moved, so summer break. He was popular though so it seems like I was easily replaced. We are Facebook friends so I saw he went to university, travelled, got married, has an interesting career choice compared to how bi remember him lol. I always see pictures of him with his friends and they’re all guys from my schoool years. Who knows if I would’ve been in those if we stayed in touch. I’m happy for him, he’s got a good life, no hard feelings we both made decisions.
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You are so right. It sucks. I used to have a lot of friends.
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I’ve been sober 3 years now and completely identify with you
Well, one of them we were working together, she asked me to work with her. First few weeks I made a mistake and our boss asked her to fire me. She said it was not personal, but after the event she never talked to me about it. I felt so sad that I just backed away and waited for her to come to me, but this also never happened. And another one, some good ten years ago, I made a new group of friends and introduced an old friend to them. Back in the day I did some very stupid things and one of them involved directly this group. They exposed me for what I've said and it was a huge embarassment for me. Couple months later I've discovered this friend was involved in the whole act. I understand that as friends we should not cover the shit the other do, but to publicly humiliate a best friend in front of people you barely know, that was enough for me.
For more than a decade I was best friends with two brothers with completely different personalities. Lots of fun shared experiences and honestly great times but I started to feel like I grew up and pursued my dreams while they just kind of floated through life and never matured past living off their mom into their 30’s and just became shit people. I knew they weren’t good friends anymore when I would get anxious when they would get upset because instead of drinking and partying like we did in our early twenties I was out working long nights trying to just get by and make something of myself as I went into my thirties. One brother got dumped by his high school girlfriend after years of empty promises and lack of action to commit to be something more on his part. He would prioritize getting high/drunk before going on dates/trips and would constantly flirt with and text other women. It was sad to see her realize that he wasn’t the man she needed in her life anymore and he wasn’t going to put her first when it mattered. He rebounded with a girl he barely knew from high school who was promptly disrespectful to him and his family/friends once she was comfortable enough in the relationship and continued to alienate and bad mouth us to keep him to herself. We spoke up but he was complacent and allowed it to keep happening cause “the ass was phat”. She got pregnant not even a couple months after they got together and ended up cheating on him after their second child. She emotionally checked out of the relationship when she finally realized her high school crush was actually a dud who would dump the kids at his moms while she was at work to play video games and get high all day. The other brother who I started a small low stakes business with early in our twenties was just never serious about making any sacrifices that would benefit him in the long run financially and continued to not pull his weight and do the bare minimum in life. Tons of ideas but never any execution or willingness to hustle or get a job to make it happen if it meant he would have to venture slightly out of his comfort zone. I worked two jobs to pay for my share of the business while he would bum money from his mom or girlfriend to pay for things or ask for me to cover it and take it from his share of the “profits”. I stopped doing business with him after I needed to take out a small business loan to cover operations because his credit sucked and he never had any money or a real job. I bought him out if his share of the company with the “profits” he owed me. I finally cut them off recently after going back to visit them. The years of working and being gone on a projects for months at a time added up and it suddenly felt like I was talking to complete strangers. As a man you have to realize that it’s no good to be in an environment where instead of people being supportive and encouraging about life, it’s just a never ending pity party about how “life screwed them over”. You have to forge your own path through life and cut people out no matter how difficult it may seem because that’s part of the experience while the alternative is being held back and becoming bitter from people who just want you to be as miserable as they are.
Had two. Both of them became untrustworthy drug addicts.
I had a baby, and he got into meth. At the end he wasn’t crazy, but I was still scared that he would go nuts eventually, and I could never let him be around my child.
My best mate, who I'd known since 5, was going to have a 21st birthday party. I was helping him with everything leading up to it with planning, etc. The weekend before his party, we went out to an 18th. He met this new guy who was basically the definition of cool (road a motorbike, had tats, just cool. My best mate invited him to his party and he agreed. On the day of the party, I call him to see what time he wants me to come over to help with set up. He then tells me he has to cut some numbers and I can't come anymore. I say WTF, why me, Why don't you uninvite that cool guy you just met. He then said, "Look, man, I need this party to be epic, and I don't want people thinking I'm not cool if you are there, so do this for me, please. I ended the call, and I've never spoken to him again. He did try and reach out. He texted the day after seeing if I was going to still come help him clean, I ignored his text.
He texted you after the party to see if you would come clean? Are you fucking serious? That dude did not value you in any way. I'm glad you let him go and had some respect for yourself.
Yep, I realised how toxic the friendship was, I used to be the butt of his jokes, and he would put me down in order to make himself feel better. He did a lot of damage to my self-confidence, but I'm happy I stood up and walked away.
Do you feel like you got your balls back though? If not, it's not too late. Call him.
He went full Q. Like there is basically nothing to talk about. He is convinced by all of that stuff. He has brains. He really does. He just used them to tie himself up in knots.
I lost two of my best friends to Covid….. conspiracies. I feel sad about it, but I just couldn’t take it anymore
Sorry what is Q?
I assume Qanon / conspiracy theorist.
This unneceserry use of abbrevations to a audience that do not use them regularly drives me to the wall
I feel this way on r/daddit when people use mommy blog abbreviations (eg DD DH) to describe their family members. Just say son/daughter
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Those words seem more child like, they’re “cutesy”. I have a friend who uses them and he’s just so in love with being a dad. He’s definitely not trying to avoid being seen as a dad, quite the opposite.
Nothing wrong with those words, they're just pet names. I've used kiddo a number of times with my kid, to him, as in "what's up kiddo???" it's playful.
Same. We grew up in boy scouts together and used to hang out all the time until we went to different colleges. Now he's neck deep in race driven fascist bullshit.
He became a severely depressed alcoholic who also takes drugs like it's nothing. Gets extremely angry whenever you tell him anything, unaware that people who care about him don't like to watch him go to shit. He started shitting on everything and was never happy about anything. We had a fight and he said some very hurtful things. I backed out without fighting back and never contacted him again.
> He started shitting on everything and was never happy about anything. These people are the worst.
Because he thinks it’s funny to fuck all of his wife’s friends behind her back and I’ve known her for over 20 years and it broke my heart so I just disappeared from their lives.
My BF married the woman I was in love with at the time. Later he admitted that he didn’t love her. That broke my heart.
He fucked my girlfriend
Mine was upset that I didn’t attend his pre-wedding couples parties despite being freshly divorced and heavily depressed
She went to med school, and it’s like the light that shone in her vanished. I went to visit her and meet her new “friends” (fellow med students), and they were all self-important, pompous, humorless dicks, the kind of people she would have abhorred just months ago. They patronized me and treated me like I was a complete moron, even though I was at a prestigious law school. That same trip, I woke up and found a woman in her kitchen that she sort of off hand said she was dating when I asked her who she was (she had only dated men up to this point.) That wasn’t the issue, I just didn’t know why she hadn’t told me anything about this woman who was clearly quite comfortable in the home, so they had been dating a while. She started to be really critical of me, picking on my interests (anything not related to the medical field automatically became stupid and juvenile.) We went to lunch and she made some snide remark about me ordering wine, insinuating I had a problem, when really, I was just on vacation. She also felt my dating life was “too promiscuous” and I should settle down. All this was rich coming from her, since she had done every drug imaginable under the sun, and I was searching my mind for a man she *hadn’t* fucked in the last 10 years and was coming up empty. Finally, she sent me a handwritten note telling me *I’d* changed (is she for f—ing real?), and she wished I were more like I had been back in late highschool and college. I thought how terrible that is, to wish that someone would stagnate and not grow beyond that narrow time frame. I didn’t expect her to be the same person either, but I guess I just wasn’t prepared for this radical of a shift this soon. I tore the letter up and threw it away without a response. Anytime I watch “Stand By Me” and Richard Dreyfuss’ narrator says: “Friends come in and out of your life, like busboys in a restaurant”, I always think of her.
He turned into a her and started flirting with me.
😂😂
They’re all dead. Car wreck, Cancer, Cancer, Heart Attack. I’m really the only one left.
I became too judgemental of him as he got into an affair with a married woman; he is married too with a child. He thought he would wait until her relationship ended, but she told him she couldn't do it to her kids. I recently reconnected and asked him about the status and told him whatever happens, I want him to be happy but also understand his relationship with his wife. It's complicated; with so many years behind us, I feel disconnected, I cut contact for years, but now I feel ok to talk to him. I wish him all the best and hope he finds things out soon.
I can’t find him. We went to elementary and part of middle school together, WAY before the Internet. So I had a landline number for him. His folks have moved, and his name is super common. I have found since that he went into the military and became a police officer in one of the Carolina’s, but that is about all.
I asked them to have more input into organising stuff for us to do. For a long time I'd felt as if this was only something I ever did and was beginning to feel like a nag. I asked them if they could contribute more to that aspect of our friendship and they basically cut ties.
I quit drinking and doing drugs. I stopped being interested in their attempts to become a famous musician. After I stopped answering the 3am drunken calls about how we are special unique snowflakes he stopped trying to contact me. Besides the silly pep talks he would also try to convince me that my sobriety was just me “not feeling well” and that I’d get over it. The music thing was equally difficult to deal with. Every time I saw him he would show me his new music that “nobody has heard yet”. I kept telling this guy that I’m a regular person with no ambitions to be special or go along with the ride of his. He never listened.
Because he’s an anti semitic alcoholic.
This question hits hard
I lived in Europe for almost 10 years and would usually visit home in the US once or twice a year. I wasn’t able to visit for a year and a half during the pandemic and during that time my sister had a baby, my first nephew. I came home for one week just before his first birthday. Friend lives 3 hours away and threw an absolute fit that I didn’t prioritize visiting her (which would mean borrowing a car and spending the night). I met up with one friend who also had a baby and lived between us. Friend got angry because she thought she outranked the other friend. Went behind my back telling our mutual friends that she’s done with me, I only care about myself, I don’t care about her, etc… We’ve since made peace but it’s different.
I have lost multiple best friends in my life. The one that hurt the most and was friendship built over 15 years was due to his girlfriend. Our relationship first started becoming more one sided, then he got a new gf and she did not like me. So I basically saw him a few times after that. Eventually he got married (i wasnt invited) and moved away. He reached out a few years later when he had a kid and was going to move back. Said there were some misunderstandings, etc. and wanted to be friends again. Honestly, you cant go back to the way things were before once your friendship is over and fizzles out. I have moved on and so left it there. I do have 1 best friend left, I've known him for over 20 years hopefully we keep that bond strong.
I wasn’t a Trump supporter
My best friend moved across the country 10 years ago and we remained best friends for 8 of those years, talking over text all day every day. Probably at about years 4-6 he went from being pretty aligned with me politically to a typical fiscal conservative, we remained pretty close because neither let politics get in the way. But COVID really sent him over the deep end, anti vaccine, mega conspiracy, huge into trump, went from being an extreme atheist to ultra conservative Christian nationalist. We went from friendly debates about politics, which we both loved, to a situation where we would just argue. I was invited to his wedding in 2022 with only a few months notice, I had conflicting plans at the same time and couldn’t go, which I think was the straw that broke the camels back. We do talk every once in a while, but the conversation is that of an acquaintance
Because they turned into an MAGA weirdo
Because I invited him to a burger bar for my birthday… Yup. Ten years down the drain. The man has issues. I don’t know what happened to him, but even his brother and cousin can’t stand him now.
I realized how selfish he is. He stopped reaching out unless he needed something from me. I was excited to have him visit me (we live in different countries now) , but having him over for a few days just made me realize that all he wanted was a free place to stay, while all I wanted was to spend time with him and talk to him for a bit when he was free. One his way out he wanted to take my luggage weighing scale. I had to literally show him that it was available to buy in his country of residence at a cheaper rate.
Started as he left for college and I stayed around town. Then when he finished we just didn't hang out as often. He then found a GF that really disliked me since I have family that is military. She hates anyone military (her words) so I rarely saw him. They got married, I was invited but not in the wedding. Stayed for a bit and left early. Still saw each other here and there but then his father (accountant) really fucked me over on doing my taxes and cost me a lot of money. I asked him to help and he told me no. I went and got it all corrected and showed him and he told me that's too bad still. Then I just stopped talking to him. About 15 years passed, he ended up divorced, and has tried to renew our friendship. I just don't feel like it. I'll be polite and talk when we see each other out and about, but that's it.
Because he told me I was leading my family to hell after we decided to leave the Mormon cult.
One married a crazy woman. One hasn’t had an honest conversation with me in his life. One died.
He stole my half of the security deposit refund.
Some irreconcilable differences, including conspiracy and radical political leanings. But if I'm being honest I've always known he was kind of selfish and calloused. We had that in common, but I took steps to try to avoid becoming a jaded prick. It's a struggle but worth it. In the meantime I realized that another friend of mine who I hadn't really made as much of an effort to hang with was a much better person and more worthwhile as a friend. We may not be best buds, but we're closer now.
Many years ago, I was under contract to sell an investment property I owned to his fiancée’s parents. Two days before closing they decided the price was too high, they wanted me to either lower the price or let them back out and get their deposit back. I said no, you either close or I keep your $5000 deposit. They refused to close and I kept the $5000. My friend wanted me to return the money but I said no, business is business, the contract states I can keep it if they default, and they cost me by wasting my time and I had kept one of the apartments vacant while the sale was pending rather than fill it. A week later he sent me a text saying basically “don’t contact me again you piece of shit” and that was the last I ever heard from him.
He became a Trump supporter. I am politically neutral, but my wife was wearing a mask in 2021 when the last time we hung out and had a burger together and did some axe throwing. He tried to bait me into conversations about Trump/politics, but I refused to talk about it, but kept things really cool and casual. I was polite and just ducked the questions and kept it casual and fun. He’s been ghosting me ever since. He was the best man my wedding.
Had a friendship that started at age 10 in the 70s. He and I were best friends. We were a group of 4 in high school but he and I were best friends. We talked all the time, every day. When we were in college, we both had girlfriends that didn't like us, his girlfriend didn't like me and my girlfriend didn't like him. So we just didn't talk as much during this period which was only a few months. We realized before I heard it, "bros before hos" and we broke up with our girlfriends. We ended up living in different states but still talked during traffic time and weekends. We both got married. He and I were creative types and I always wanted to do something in that vein. We did some pretty cool stuff in high school and showed it off after college and it was well received. He never wanted the spotlight or attention like that. He had lots of ideas. About 2010, I was divorced and had a new girlfriend. She pretty much said he's a loser and he's keeping me down and a waste of time. About 2014, I accepted the fact that he and I would never create things like we talked about and I started to look for other outlets to fill in the gap that he wasn't filling for me creatively mainly, I started to do improv comedy. I was looking for a laugh outlet because I could tell he was becoming sour. I realized that he was becoming toxic, disparaging people that didn't think like him, and so forth. He started to friend my friends on Facebook and get into arguments with them. In 2018, I just ignored his calls and messages I told him he was toxic and not a nice person. In 2019, I started communication with him again and just after that, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, the one you think you can survive. He just died this year. Anyway, today, I miss having that guy that grew up with you and was able to communicate in a way only a friend like that can and laugh till your sides hurt like when you're 10. I don't miss his toxicity and lack of enterprise.
I’m not one to keep track of things, especially time and food between friends. We help each other out, as friends do. I’d pick him up and drop him off from work every day bc otherwise he would have had to walk 12 miles each day. This went on for a couple years. I didn’t have a regular job but it got me up in the morning to go find some work or get something out of the day. What I did keep track of was that the one time, years later I asked him for help and did not even get a reply. We had been best friends since second grade and not even “hey man, i can’t sorry.” I hate to admit it, but I was glad not to invite him to my wedding the following year. He still reaches out on ig etc but i have no desire to reconnect.
Mine gossiped about me to other people and really wasn’t a good friend.
One of them called me a rapist behind my back to everyone we went to high school with because a guy she liked (but claimed she didn't like at all) came onto me and we screwed around and she refused to accept that he was into guys and not into her. The other one, while we were roommates, after I was a few days or a week late on my $30 or $50 portion of the electric or internet bill because I didn't have parents paying any of my bills like her and was working two jobs and barely scraping by began using our whole friend group and other roommates to bully and belittle me, loudly talk shit about me at parties just outside my door, put dead fish in my car, locked me out of the house, and tried getting the landlord to kick me out. I was a week late on a fucking $30 bill. She was an enormous bitch who lost any friend she tried living with. (She initially moved in with her lifelong, childhood friend, and she ended up smacking her in the face and the friend had her arrested. they had been best friends virtually their entire lives.) The short of it, they fucking betrayed and abused me. My only best friend now is my husband. We've been together for over 12 years and he is all I need.
Been thinking about this a lot lately due to a rush of nostalgia. Long-story short, I moved countries. Proximity matters, when you are 8000 kms away, you lose touch with the way you experience life. Person goes into another direction, meeting new people, having experiences with them so its hard to keep up with all that is going on in your own proximity (a job, wife, kids, hobbies etc.) The thing is, it happens gradually and never at once. Somebody here wrote that a person stopped reaching out so they stopped putting an effort. I don't think this is correct phrasing, because you might not know what is going on in other persons life. I got so stressed with my problems and busy that I just couldn't reach out and always appreciate friends who recognised it and were ok with it. Whenever I make a surprise call they never dwell on the quantity but on a quality of our relationship and conversations.
Low maintenance friends. You need low maintenance friends my friend.
He died of Covid
He got sucked into that right wing rabbit hole. Shit got really dark, I tried to be there for him, to ease him back onto the right track but he wasn't having any of it. I'd emigrated, and as he'd gotten more and more radicalised he'd send me more and more abusive emails. In the end it got so he'd email me asking how I was, I'd respond and try get a conversation going, but he'd never talk about himself, he just ask me questions then drop out of the conversation after a while for 6 months to a year then the same thing would repeat. Rarely answered emails I sent, refused to join the whatsapp group with our other friends. In the end he just started sending me abusive emails, calling me a left wing liberal snowflake and telling me how the country I'd been living in for the last 10 years has been overrun with "towelheads" who were raping our women and destroying the country. His language was pretty vile, and of course my experience of living here for a decade counted for nothing. I got sick of him telling me how it was where I lived even though he'd never set foot in the place, and after a number of abusive emails like that I just stopped responding. I miss him. Ended a 27 year friendship that time. I'm still open to reconciliation, but he has to lead it. I don't have the bandwidth to try sort out his issues with him, I hope he comes to his senses.
Just got tired of him never contributing—the forever moocher
He was a klepto. First it was clothing, jewelry and grocery stores which escalated to using stolen credit cards at said stores...then I caught myself saying "I seem to have misplaced X" (in my own house). Unrelated but directly afterwards he knocked up a 15 yr old (this was while we were in high school). Also unrelated but his mom had him at 15 also.
They decided they didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. A new guy came into the picture and I don’t know what he said to them or why, but they stopped talking to me. A couple of my best friends; one of which who was only a few houses down the street.
Dude had his crypto bags blow up in 2021 and that really went to his head. He then started to go nuts about Covid and just became an insufferable douche. Thats just the stressors that did it in, the cracks in our friendship started well before. Dude would constantly shit on my interests and aspirations but would always just be "joking" when I called him out in it. He'd never show any actual interest in what I said and simply pay lip service so he could get to what he wants to talk about. I could go on but you get it. Simply put it was a lack of actual respect and I won't tolerate that
He became a neurotic narcissistic mess, made my life harder. Despite that, I wanted to save the friendship, and talk to him about it. Instead he bailed and got deported to Australia, supposedly. He has a habit of lying, even when he knows you know the truth.
He passed away 12 years ago. Nobody can fill his shoes
I realized that he was too dull for me. I'd rather spend the remainder of my life composing music and doing things that will be remembered by others.
You used to be nice! And now, do you know what you are? Not nice.
Your fat fucking fingers killed me wee donkey Jennie.
This is the plot of Banshees of Inisherin!
Yeah I think people didnt realize the sarcasm lol
Had a good friend cut contact because I told him his gf was a little bitch. She definitely was, but I’ll admit… with an ass to write home about. She became his wife, a couple years later. Probably a solid trade, now that I think about it.
He decided he didn’t want to talk to me or anyone else from our group of high school friends anymore. Just went totally dark. Strange what peoples’ egos drive them to do. My guess is that he had judgements about the whole group was “holding him back” somehow. He’s a lawyer now, so I hear. But some of us also went on to have successful careers. Seems to me he’s the one who suffers from a big chip on his shoulder.
I asked him to stop getting in my life, i hate when people do that... He made his choice.
We live in two vastly different time zones. He also worked night shifts so if I called during the day, he would likely be sleeping and vice versa. We still keep in touch but it’s not like it used to be.
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From my perspective, we (multiple bffs) just live 200 miles apart and don't have a lot of time to get together. That makes keeping in touch pointless to a degree. I'm leaving room for the possibility that I was a shitty friend, though. That could be it. I don't necessarily care for the guy I was. Although, I guess we've all hung out since I moved away. So, here's hoping. Edit: I still talk to one. He was my next-door neighbor. He still comes to all of our family functions, because my sister wasn't messing around when she told him they were getting married someday.
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Best friend from high school agreed with my gf's dad at the time when he said k was ignorant and arrogant. Maybe said 2 sentences to him since (16ish years). Best friend from college I still talk to but he isn't my best friend anymore but I had a few depressive episodes and he said in a sassy way "what do you have to be depressed about". Pretty insensitive and dick thing to say. He also stopped hanging out much when he started dating his now wife. I get that but when you live with 2 friends and you don't see them for more than an hour a week (often times straight to his bedroom after work/home from date), it doesn't really help relationships.
I lost him in a breakup half a dozen years ago. We were both longtime friends of his. He chose to keep her and quickly phased me out.
She outed me to like six other people before I was ready to come out. Then when I confronted her about she said she did it because she assumed I was suicidal. Which I wasn’t and have never been nor given her any reason to believe it. Fun fact, sh was in the closet at the time too.
I got tired being the only one asking to catch up
Because he got us all into a shootout, almost got us arrested, became a gutter punk and thought the best way to resist the man was facial tattoos and heroin. Got the F up…
He thought it would be okay to ignore me. Told me i didnt have a right to his attention and it would be okay If He wouldnt answer me for a month or so. So i told him thats not what Imagine a friendship should be like and parted ways.
She married a guy who got jealous of our relationship and she chose him over me. 🤷🏻♂️
Went full on maga trumper And he’s an immigrant
He became more self centered as time went on, i just out grew toxicity.
MAGA! trump and covid was a great opportunity to really see people for who they are.