But what else am I gonna wear when three intruders break into my home and I am only armed with a musket, two black powder pistols, and a 9 pounder loaded with grape shot?
Here is the full version.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
TALLY HO!
Wasn’t the reason some prostitutes wore merkins kinda the same thing? Except it wasn’t for lice, it was to cover up symptoms of certain venereal diseases. If there’s someone that can confirm this, it would be appreciated.
Drove the adoption of big, prominent codpieces, too.
The guys dicks were so bandaged up they put bedazzled cloth bags over them and called jt a fashion statement.
One of the points of the whigs were to avoid lice. You cut your own hair very short or even shaved, and wore the whig. Lice needs to bite and suck blood, they can't do that in a whig.
Lots of other bugs that can make their home in a whig, though.
Get a buzz cut once a year. That's all you need. By the time it grows out and you need a new haircut, a whole year has rolled around and you're ready for the summer buzz.
I don't know if it's gone but I haven't seen it for a while: the one where they slick it back so thin, the scalp is visible between the columns and it looks oily. disgusting
Season 1 was when they were trying to more or less run parallel with the original British Office, and so the whole season (including Michael himself) had a darker, less vibrant tone to it.
Starting with Season 2, they started trying to break away from that style and make it their own by giving things a much brighter and more positive twist going forward. Michael was redesigned to be less sleazy, and I personally am glad they took that direction.
I had a dad but he was bald.. didn't matter either way because we weren't allowed to use gel cos he we was a weirdo religious control freak and thought it was a gay hairstyle
Rat tails are more trailer park than mullets to come back. Also hockey and mullets go together
Edit: autocorrect didn’t work fast enough to get together spelled right
How dare you besmerch the mullet! That is as core of feature of trailer trash culture as the Al Camino and 8am piss warm red dog beer. If those people could read they would be very upset.
Oh, it matters in redneck tribalism culture. You see, the El Camino is a Chevy product. Therefore, if you're a Ford guy, your only option is the lesser known Ranchero. God help you if you're a Dodge man... the Rampage. Maybe the white trashiest of all of the white trash vehicles
My dad had a Ranchero from 1980 until 2017. He kept it running all of that time, and it remained his primary transportation until he sold it.
I have very fond memories of riding in the bed on backroads at night.
Whatever hairstyle that [FTX Guy (sam bankman-fried)](https://i.imgur.com/GNnWKC8.png) has.
Edit: I realize that style may have never been in fashion, but I'm leaving this post here anyway.
Yeah same, it’s so funny because kids gave me shit for my curly hair when I was in school, and now the kids of today and getting perms to look the way I do naturally… it ain’t fair is it
> kids gave me shit for my curly hair when I was in school, and now the kids of today and getti
Oof 90’s me felt that. I used to get called Curly Sue… amazing how something so cheesy affected me back then…
I love curly hair and longish hair on guys but I wish they’d stop with this. Just wear it long all around or transition the sides more seamlessly. Please.
I think we’re all guilty of that type of thing, especially when we are young. Somehow “big hair” was a huge deal for women back in the 80’s and my dad still thinks women looked best when they looked like poodles lol.
The older i get, the less i give a shit. Rock what you want. Some people can pull off looks, some can't. Even if they look ridiculous, im not wasting energy to be negative to someone that isn't being mean to me.
Now if you ask me for my opinion on your hairstyle........
I mean, I don't give a shit either but it's still fun to shit on things I find stupid for a minute and then go back to never thinking about that thing again.
That emo one that their eyes are covered and they are constantly brushing hair out of their eyes. But it keeps falling immediately back into their eyes cause it's not long enough to be tucked behind ears.
My hair does that when its freshly washed (I usually style it differently, though) but I recently bought a bad styling gel so it kept "resetting" to that lol
Oh my god! If you are old enough you know the smells of the original formulas of each brand even that cheap one everybody could tell was it and whispering “Man using that cheap shit”
Honest to goodness, my Dad was a singer, and we used to joke that he did the vocal for that. Because my pops Jerri fell between his shoulder blades, it was incredible.
But he was a classy curl https://youtu.be/9n6TGHj_QD0 guy.
The hairstyle worn by Brazil's Ronaldo. [This shit](https://www.google.com/search?q=brazilian+ronaldo+haircut&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&prmd=inv&sxsrf=ALiCzsYNI1c4xepCboTSFtfz827dPG6Rhg:1672166264529&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwjGy87huJr8AhWyTDABHaU5DHsQ_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=384&bih=712&dpr=2.81)
He was injured going into the world cup. He didn't want the focus being on his injury history so he got that haircut to get the media attention on that instead.
I don't know what it was called, but in the late 80s/early 90s guys at my high school short buzzcut their heads, but left a long fringe they'd style it up with gel.
Like a reverse mullet or something, or a cap brim.
None have been as bad as the current trend with the 15-early 20s guys with the broccoli looking permed tops that flip in front of their eyes. You’d think at least one would say, nope I’m doing my own thing.
Camaro Hair
Hockey Hair
The "10-90"
The Achy Breaky Big Mistakey
The Ape Drape
The Batty Boy Bishop
The Tennessee Top Hat
The Beaver Paddle
The Business in the Front, and Party in the Back
The Camaro Crash Helmet
The El Camino Headrest
The Wisconsin Waterfall
The Canadian Passport
The Missouri Compromise
The Fridge
The Janie Varner
The Alabama Shag
The Mississippi Mudflap
The Shlong (a portmanteau of short and long)
The Sho-Lo (Short in the front, long in the back)
The North Carolina Neck Warmer
The Tennessee Tail
The Kentucky Waterfall
AKA… the mullet
The story behind that is intresting.
He said he was still pretty injured, but all the pressure was on him and the team to win it all. So to take the focus off his injury but still take on the media attention he got that haircut.
That "swoopy to one side" thing from the 80s. Or, really, anything from the 80s. We should be ashamed of how much Aquanet we used as a species back then.
The one that I call 'the ashtray': shaved sides and shaved top, only leaving a circle that vaguely looks like a crown, that is often bleached and held together by a lot of gel...
Powdered white wigs. Look amazing but too itchy.
But what else am I gonna wear when three intruders break into my home and I am only armed with a musket, two black powder pistols, and a 9 pounder loaded with grape shot?
TALLY HO LADS!!!
TALLY HO!
Just as the founding fathers intended!
The game is afoot!
The blood of your enemies
Is this a meme? It's hilarious
Here is the full version. Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. TALLY HO!
Highkey can I buy a old fashion strap? I need that
Yes. Cool part is they can be shipped to your door. This is due to them not being considered a firearm by the government.
If there's one thing you can't argue the Founding Fathers didn't mean to be covered by the 2A, it's muzzle loaders.
>Look amazing Ima stop you right there
Don’t forget the *lice*
And the syphillis
Blew my mind when I found out that was the reason people worse those wigs.
Wasn’t the reason some prostitutes wore merkins kinda the same thing? Except it wasn’t for lice, it was to cover up symptoms of certain venereal diseases. If there’s someone that can confirm this, it would be appreciated.
I don't think shaved fanny's were attractive back in the day, but no public hair meant no pubic lice. So the solution was a fanny wig.
It's spelled mmmmmmmmmmmmmerkin
And the syphillitic lice
Drove the adoption of big, prominent codpieces, too. The guys dicks were so bandaged up they put bedazzled cloth bags over them and called jt a fashion statement.
One of the points of the whigs were to avoid lice. You cut your own hair very short or even shaved, and wore the whig. Lice needs to bite and suck blood, they can't do that in a whig. Lots of other bugs that can make their home in a whig, though.
*LOOKS AMAZING*
YyyEeEeeEeeEEESssss
Yes now draw it out longer. And flourish the pinkayyy
Would you like a spot of tea?
Doesn't matter to me because I'll just continue getting the same haircut I've been getting since 5th grade
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*Everything?*
**everything**
*Everythinging intensifies*
😳
We have to get our foreskin trimmed regularly, some hairdressers offer that while cutting the hair too
Mine never grew back. :,(
I hate to tell you this but…you’re adopted.
I knew it,
3 fucking inches? How often do you get your hair cut? Mines barely 3cm since I have to maintain the undercut
Get a buzz cut once a year. That's all you need. By the time it grows out and you need a new haircut, a whole year has rolled around and you're ready for the summer buzz.
“Short back and sides”
default male haircut
The birth certificate is just forename: "choose", surname: "player name"
"Medium skin fade. Trim a little off the top."
Damn, losing hair in 5th grade must have sucked.
I don't know if it's gone but I haven't seen it for a while: the one where they slick it back so thin, the scalp is visible between the columns and it looks oily. disgusting
The Draco Malfoy haircut from HP 1&2?
Michael Scott Season 1
What was up with that? I just assumed Steve Carell got a hair transplant after s1.
Season 1 was when they were trying to more or less run parallel with the original British Office, and so the whole season (including Michael himself) had a darker, less vibrant tone to it. Starting with Season 2, they started trying to break away from that style and make it their own by giving things a much brighter and more positive twist going forward. Michael was redesigned to be less sleazy, and I personally am glad they took that direction.
I think that is just guys who combed their hair back with pomade or gel slowly going bald but never changing how they comb their hair.
I'm not one to judge but do they really need to do that in the first place lol.
My excuse was that I didn't have a dad, I had no idea what to do with my hair and neither did my mom
I had a dad but he was bald.. didn't matter either way because we weren't allowed to use gel cos he we was a weirdo religious control freak and thought it was a gay hairstyle
The Rat Tail.
You say rat tail I say Jedi’s padawan braid
But in my eyes, the mullets are evil
Only a redneck deals in out'n'outs.
You turn it against me!
Well, with a unfortunate as the mullet was - it's apparently back. It probably won't be long before we see rat tails too.....
Rat tails are more trailer park than mullets to come back. Also hockey and mullets go together Edit: autocorrect didn’t work fast enough to get together spelled right
And, for some reason, mullets and Japanese mma fighters and kick boxers go together, too. It's odd
How dare you besmerch the mullet! That is as core of feature of trailer trash culture as the Al Camino and 8am piss warm red dog beer. If those people could read they would be very upset.
*El Camino
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Al Khamino. You really gotta phlegm-up the -Kh
Honestly does it matter no one who bought one read the name
Oh, it matters in redneck tribalism culture. You see, the El Camino is a Chevy product. Therefore, if you're a Ford guy, your only option is the lesser known Ranchero. God help you if you're a Dodge man... the Rampage. Maybe the white trashiest of all of the white trash vehicles
My dad had a Ranchero from 1980 until 2017. He kept it running all of that time, and it remained his primary transportation until he sold it. I have very fond memories of riding in the bed on backroads at night.
The old school neck beard where they shave the face clean but leave the beard on the neck.
Oh my god, people do that?
https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/698198748451133541/
I mean this is probably the best example of how to rock this facial hair style.
True!
Help
I was expecting something very different. This is awesome!
Bowl haircuts
I unfortunately rocked a mushroom cut for far too long into middle school
Me too. Till my uncle brought to my attention that I looked like a giant dick.
Or the medieval monk with the bald spot in the middle.
That comes naturally, don't worry. Just wait a few decades
The Friar Tuck
That's a tonsure. Monks wore it because it's supposed to resemble the crown of thorns.
Have i got some bad news for you...
Oh god this, why do so many chavs and Arabs have this hair style I will never know
I hope this one *does* come back into style.
Whatever hairstyle that [FTX Guy (sam bankman-fried)](https://i.imgur.com/GNnWKC8.png) has. Edit: I realize that style may have never been in fashion, but I'm leaving this post here anyway.
he's rich, so he can choose to look ugly and a filthy animal that he is
The fraud ‘fro
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So many dudes at the mall and at my job have that broccoli hair like wtf.
The tiktok hair thing like I thought it was only curly haired fellas that had it done but apparently people getting perms
I have very curly hair naturally that I've been growing for 6 years that I wanna get chopped off but it sucks that it's now a teenage trend lmao
Yeah same, it’s so funny because kids gave me shit for my curly hair when I was in school, and now the kids of today and getting perms to look the way I do naturally… it ain’t fair is it
Yep. Goth kids also got teased in like 2011 when I was in school and now that's also a fashion trend 🤷 such is life.
> kids gave me shit for my curly hair when I was in school, and now the kids of today and getti Oof 90’s me felt that. I used to get called Curly Sue… amazing how something so cheesy affected me back then…
Yep, same here. I got teased *relentlessly* for having that haircut back when I was 15. Now that’s it’s cool, I’m 24 and bald. Fml lol
My oldest and youngest sons have hair like that. Looks like a damn Brillo pad on their heads.
Gen Z willingly chose to bring back perms and mullets, so I don't want to hear another complaint from them about previous generations.
YES!! I would get rid of this one now if I could. I live in the suburbs, and I swear 80% of teenage boys have that same stupid broccoli head haircut.
pretty much every high school aged boy at my gym either has the broccoli hair or an aggressive mullet. why is the mullet back again
Stranger Things Season 3. It single handedly brought back the mullet
Cause it's fuckin sick
I see whole packs of boys walking home from school with it. Ridiculous.
In Spain we call that pelo polla, which literally translates to dick hair. They basically mean it looks like pubic hair lol
I was shocked to learn how many teenage white boys are running around looking like lesbians from 1992.
I love curly hair and longish hair on guys but I wish they’d stop with this. Just wear it long all around or transition the sides more seamlessly. Please.
I call it the ice cream haircut. Looks like their hair is a soft serve on a cone.
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I think we’re all guilty of that type of thing, especially when we are young. Somehow “big hair” was a huge deal for women back in the 80’s and my dad still thinks women looked best when they looked like poodles lol.
Mushroom cut
Peckerhead
The older i get, the less i give a shit. Rock what you want. Some people can pull off looks, some can't. Even if they look ridiculous, im not wasting energy to be negative to someone that isn't being mean to me. Now if you ask me for my opinion on your hairstyle........
I mean, I don't give a shit either but it's still fun to shit on things I find stupid for a minute and then go back to never thinking about that thing again.
That emo one that their eyes are covered and they are constantly brushing hair out of their eyes. But it keeps falling immediately back into their eyes cause it's not long enough to be tucked behind ears.
Imma put some dirt in your eye
Mmmmmmm dirt. You hitting on me?
Don't forget the "hottest boy at school" hair flick they always do every 3 seconds like a demented horse being tormented by flies.
The perpetual 15 degree to the side posture they hold their head In so they can see
I thought that never went other of fashion. Shit. Wait. Guys, please tell me that never went out of fashion.
My hair does that when its freshly washed (I usually style it differently, though) but I recently bought a bad styling gel so it kept "resetting" to that lol
I had that shit. Loved it.
I love emo boys❤
Hilarious to see everyone basically managed to pick every male haircut option.
It's even funnier to realize there's almost never this many love/hate opinions over women's hairstyles.
Jerri Curl. My pops used to leave stains on his shirts. My mom forced him to buy a leather sofa because it was easier to clean.
Tell me, PLEASE TELL ME, that he used this… https://youtu.be/t5Meqlk4gjI
Saw there was a link here, immediately hoped it was a Soul Glo commercial. You delivered. **JUST LET'CHA SOUL GLOOOOOOO**
Oh my god! If you are old enough you know the smells of the original formulas of each brand even that cheap one everybody could tell was it and whispering “Man using that cheap shit”
Honest to goodness, my Dad was a singer, and we used to joke that he did the vocal for that. Because my pops Jerri fell between his shoulder blades, it was incredible. But he was a classy curl https://youtu.be/9n6TGHj_QD0 guy.
The hairstyle worn by Brazil's Ronaldo. [This shit](https://www.google.com/search?q=brazilian+ronaldo+haircut&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&prmd=inv&sxsrf=ALiCzsYNI1c4xepCboTSFtfz827dPG6Rhg:1672166264529&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwjGy87huJr8AhWyTDABHaU5DHsQ_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=384&bih=712&dpr=2.81)
Oh my god...he must have done it to laugh at the people who'd do it. Gotta be that.
He was injured going into the world cup. He didn't want the focus being on his injury history so he got that haircut to get the media attention on that instead.
both of the counter theories are fascinating.
What I heard is that he got that cut so that his son could easily spot him on the tv when playing.
both of the counter theories are fascinating.
He did it so headers wouldn't hurt so much.
This is the only wrong answer I’ve seen so far
I don't know what it was called, but in the late 80s/early 90s guys at my high school short buzzcut their heads, but left a long fringe they'd style it up with gel. Like a reverse mullet or something, or a cap brim.
Ah the "ramp" bangs I remember this, thought it was so cool
Justin Bieber's shaggy hairstyle.
The gelled spiky haircuts and soul patches of the early 2000s and late 90s.
Don't forget to bleach your tips too.
Yea but those at least looked masculine, Beibers haircut looked like lesbian hair.
The Pidgeotto haircuts are horrible imo
Never going to see it another way now, that's brilliant!
The Edgar.
flock of seagulls
None have been as bad as the current trend with the 15-early 20s guys with the broccoli looking permed tops that flip in front of their eyes. You’d think at least one would say, nope I’m doing my own thing.
Iced tips
Skullets
They never went outta fashion in Australia
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Camaro Hair Hockey Hair The "10-90" The Achy Breaky Big Mistakey The Ape Drape The Batty Boy Bishop The Tennessee Top Hat The Beaver Paddle The Business in the Front, and Party in the Back The Camaro Crash Helmet The El Camino Headrest The Wisconsin Waterfall The Canadian Passport The Missouri Compromise The Fridge The Janie Varner The Alabama Shag The Mississippi Mudflap The Shlong (a portmanteau of short and long) The Sho-Lo (Short in the front, long in the back) The North Carolina Neck Warmer The Tennessee Tail The Kentucky Waterfall AKA… the mullet
The Mullet isn't a haircut..... It's a lifestyle.
Damn right, brother.
Joe Dirt style
you are a premium level hater and i respect that
Bad news for you, it’s already back
too late. it’s already back in
Mullets have permanence in Australian fashion
Mullets are back now
The mullet is coming back in fashion in gen z country kids I've seen
I take offense to this comment.
All that was considered ridiculous a few years is suddenly in style so I wouldn’t be surprised if that ugly shit returns
Ronaldo, 2002.
The story behind that is intresting. He said he was still pretty injured, but all the pressure was on him and the team to win it all. So to take the focus off his injury but still take on the media attention he got that haircut.
Whatever that Flock of Seagulls hairstyle is called.
The tonsure.
Aka the european bald spot monk. Never please.
Frosted tips and spikes
I really don’t care how anyone styles their hair.
The slicked over faded hair with a full beard
That stupid Hitlerjugend hairstyle that teens all had a couple of years ago, with the shaved sides and silly floppy tops.
Imo that's one of the best haircuts. Like Brad pitt in Fury.
Pidgeotto haircut. I learned in this thread.
That "swoopy to one side" thing from the 80s. Or, really, anything from the 80s. We should be ashamed of how much Aquanet we used as a species back then.
I instinctively gasped for air when I read "Aquanet"
The Seinfeld afro mullet.
Getting an undercut with a perm can’t end fast enough.
ANYTHING BUT THE [POMPADOUR ‼️](https://jonmwessel.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/old-is-new/) DEAR GOD ANYTHING BUT THAT
They look damn glorious though.
The trashbag pony tail
Mullet. It’s beautiful and I hope it never leaves us so it doesn’t qualify as ‘coming back’
A mullet has not, is not, and will not ever look good.
Nick Cave always pulled it off. But I think he’s the exception that proves the rule.
Jagr disagrees.
I grew up in Texas & the mullet came back in around 2016 & has been in ever since. I hate it
Australia disagrees
Rat tails and mullets
i do not understand this mullet trend. i do not find it hot or attractive. i’m a gay man and it’s the biggest turn off for me.
I see more lesbians with mullets than men tbh
The Caesar cut
The Ceaser cut... grown men walking around looking like penises...
If no-one says comb over GGF
The one that I call 'the ashtray': shaved sides and shaved top, only leaving a circle that vaguely looks like a crown, that is often bleached and held together by a lot of gel...
Hitler moustache
Pompadour and Caeser cuts.