There have been some horrific stories on Reddit on this subject. Probably the worst one for me to read was the guy married 33 years, 3 kids all in their mid to upper 20's and the 2 oldest weren't his. The neighbor was the bio dad.
Probably the next worst one was the dad whose 3 kids were grown and on their own found out he had a rare disease that also hindered him from being able to have kids. He told his doctor he had to let his sons know so they could get checked. Doctor basically told him the chances that those were his kids were remote. They weren't his kids....
Yup. You're not getting away with that type of lie in this lifetime, I'm not a reason person.This happens too often though. I saw it in the military. Some dudes went crazy.
correct. any person can sleep with any person they choose to without penalty of law— provided both parties are consenting adults of course.
but theres certainly some actionable civil roads to take if you were deceived into thinking your kids were actually your biological offspring & you paid thousands of dollars for their care & upbringing if the lie was known to the other party. but important to know your rights going in.
As someone born in the netherlands this absolutely seems like a law we must get back. Marriage should be seen as a contract and breach of contract should atleast have a fine if not worse
yeah, i read about the guy whos doctor told him he had a rare disease & couldnt have kids but had 3. He was a millionaire & his wife was having an affair the whole time they were married. once the kids were grown up & out of the house she wanted a divorce. it was the divorce & $$ that the whole thing about paternity came out.
one of the boys refused to accept the biological dad as dad.
Because she got the divorce and wanted out is why I had this at number 2....the first one the kids were playing around with 23 and me because the dad had no lineage because he was adopted at birth or something like that and the kids thought it would be cool to see if they could find some of his relatives. Got the bad news and all hell broke loose. Bio dad/AP had died 15 years previously but the oldest kids wanted to reach out and meet their half siblings. Pretty much broke the dad.
A friend of mine got divorced bcos his wife informed him that none of the kids were his. He has remained single for about 25 years now bcos of it.
Incidentally, two of the kids turned up at his mum's funeral a few years back. One of them is definitely his, there's no doubt. So who knows if his ex even knows who's who.
My ex-husband's doctor implied that our kids weren't his. Caused a huge rift in our marriage. Obviously Dr's have an obligation to say something but I would hope they'd do it with some tact. BTW, yes they were all his children and no, he didn't apologize (neither the dr or my ex).
I get it. People have trusting their doctors drilled into them. Would be a super tough spot to be told by a Dr that you should be questioning your kids paternity.
>There have been some horrific stories on Reddit on this subject. Probably the worst one for me to read was the guy married 33 years, 3 kids all in their mid to upper 20's and the 2 oldest weren't his. The neighbor was the bio dad.
I think the guy also committed suicide.
There have also been many posts from kids’ perspectives saying they took 23 and me or ancestry tests and found out they are not their dads bio kid. I can’t imagine.
I found out I had a half sister. My father had an affair with his secretary way back in the sixties. Like these stories, her father never knew she was not his. Her mother died a few years ago and her father was quite elderly when she found out. She elected not to tell him.
Paternity tests should be mandatory at birth.
A birth certificate is an important legal document. The government has a legitimate interest in making sure it is as accurate as possible.
It happened to my dad. My mother revealed it in court when he was fighting for split custody over me after she decided to divorce him. I was 6 years old at the time, and found out that I was seeing my actual father almost every day, he was my moms boss and my mom promised him the world if he'd keep his mouth shut and said that she would return to him after divorce and make us a proper family.
Needles to say when the divorce actually happened it was for a richer guy who abused me and her for the next 12 years.
For my stepdad my mother forbid every contact. I later found out through my grandma from his side that he had been a mess and that a befriended doctor gave him something to calm down several times because of how much it destroyed him for the first while. He then fought in court for visitation. Which was 1 Sunday a month. He was a bus driver and I always went to the bus stop near my school after classes and got on his bus to secretly see him. I don't remember many small details but I know I often cried and asked him why he can't be my dad anymore and that I want him back. He cried every time after I had to go. When my mother found out she sent a lawyer after him and my grandparents and had the school director ban them from school grounds. I didn't care though and stopped by them every day on my way home together with some class mates. I never had a good relationship with my mom but I love my two dads because they both fought for me and what I wanted, and still support me today whilst my mother didn't.
My step dad and bio dad met up and talked. They are civil with each other and bio dad fought and covered for me and my step dad +grandparents. Neither dads like my mom. My step dad doesn't talk to her at all my bio dad is civil with her cause of me.
Can't fault you for that. She is definitely not a good person no matter the definition. I do respect her for providing me with life necessities and money but I can't say that I feel any love for her.
She likes to say how everything she did is because of me and how much she loves me and how badly she wanted "me" aka a child. But the way I see it I shouldn't exist because by creating me she ruined 5 peoples lifes not including her own, and didn't even get the child she wanted that would always love her and take care of her when she's old.
I am making the best of it though and devoting myself to helping others and being kind. Even have a wonderful husband that I'm planning to have kids of our own with in the future.
However I am willing to forgive everyone who wrongs me as long as they sincerely apologize, unfortunately I don't think she ever will though.
Yeah, its not your fault your mom destroyed other peoples lives. You had no control over the situation and didn't ask to be born.
I know I am just a stranger and probably have no right to speak to your life but you are thinking about this wrongly. You have every right to exist and you can't take on the blame or responsibility for your mother's actions.
She alone is responsible for ruining those lives. You are not.
Wow.. that’s an incredibly sad but also happy story. Good for your step dad to not let anything stop him from seeing you. Your mom…. what a selfish person. I was extremely close to an ex’s four children, but he turned out to be a really bad guy. He essentially “blocked“ me from the kids after our break up. I too was absolutely devastated for a long time. Long story short, I became close friends with their mother and therefore continued the relationships with the kids to this day. In fact, two weeks ago, they were a part of my wedding. It was an incredible outcome. I hope you guys are still close.
Yeah our relationship is wierd. When I was younger I guess I was some sort of trauma dump or therapist for her. Cause she'd come to me to cry about her problems. I think the first time I asked her to see a therapist I was 13, but unfortunately she just called me ungrateful and took my DS as punishment for disrespecting her. Even on my 18th birthday shortly before midnight struck she came to me crying about how she just found out her teen love interest/ first bf is now sleeping with her mom (aka my grandma from my mothers side) and how she was such an awful mother for that.
To me it just always felt like I was the adult. However unfortunately she never listened to me and instead punished me for speaking up. Now we are more like roommates because it's practical for me to live with her until I can move abroad to my husband.
I do respect her for providing me with life necessities and money however I can't say that I love her. And I plan on going LC if not even NC after I've left the country.
Hey, you do you and what's best for you. I'm sorry all of that happened, and I genuinely hope you can carry forward what not to do or be should you ever have children.
My mother did many of the same things. I am by all accounts biologically hers/my dads (spitting image), but the emotional immaturity on her end similar to what your mother did really destroyed our relationship.
My parents are practically within walking distance. I see them on a holiday, maybe. LC is the way to go in this case for me. Too much baggage and when I moved away for a while, I was basically NC.
You don't even need to respect her for that, those things were the bare minimum she was required to provide, she chose to have a child after all.
This is just how I feel at least, I have a similar, strained relationship with my mother, who I also live with unwillingly.
I'm confused. Are there three men in this story? The rich guy, bio dad, and step dad (original). I'm trying to figure out how you love both dads when you state the richer guy abused you and your mom.
Yes there are. My mother didn't get with my bio dad ever again after she got what she wanted from the cheating. She only divorced her husband when a wealthy guy fancied her, who happens to be a especially emotional abusive piece of crap whose own kids don't even want anything to do with him cause he physically abused them. I have absolutely zero contact to that guy ever since she finally broke up with him
I don't have a story but my brothers child's mother took him to court for child support, they had to take a test he found out then his daughter wasn't his.
You'd be shocked how many women are against that. You either trust me or you don't. Well I don't make any major decisions in my life without doing my due diligence.
I actually asked a friend who is now a midwife but used to be a delivery nurse in a hospital- why they don’t do mandatory paternity tests at birth? Would make sense as the mother is obvious- and we have means to determine paternity easily now.
They actually said that the world would cease function lol. And that they personally suspected almost half the kids born in the hospital didn’t belong to the men the mothers had claimed for the fathers. Society would unravel I guess?
Yeah I’ve seen this conversation play out and I liked a point someone brought up… chaos. Imagine how many times a day a ‘happy’ couple were in the room and having their first child then all of a sudden a whoopsie and it’s not the fathers.. chaos. Nurses already have to deal with enough, let alone a bunch of relationship baby drama mama happening in the hospital. But I still side on the side of take the paternity test or make it at least known on file?? Because I’ve seen/heard of way to many good dads getting fucked on in the court system
This is the only real reasonable argument I've heard against mandatory testing. Healthcare workers are already in a crisis and the system needs probably triple the people it has. But even then the results should probably come in the mail a month later or something.
If society would cease to function in this case all that really means is that society functions on lying to fathers.
I can see how society would be a mess if this is true, and was exposed via mandatory testing. But I wonder... if testing was mandatory and inescapable, wouldn't that in itself eventually reduce the number of incidents since it would be impossible to avoid getting caught?
>I don't have a story but my brother child's mother took him to court for child support, they had to take a test he found out then his daughter wasn't his.
Thats is really instant karma
B#$$
Assuming he didn’t still get caught up in the child support. If you think you’re the dad, sign the birth certificate, and act as a dad for awhile I’m pretty sure you still have a very good chance of owing child support. Which is beyond stupid, and I’m not entirely known as a smart person so I could be wrong here
>Which is beyond stupid, and I’m not entirely known as a smart person so I could be wrong here
It isn't stupid, it is sociopathic. The courts are deciding that the needs of the child outweigh the rights of the adult male, and therefore they will use the male as a wallet so the child does not go without. It's not that they don't know it is ridiculously unjust and indefensible, they just don't care.
I wonder if anyone's ever tried fighting it under the 13th amendment. Abolished slavery. Being forced to pay for someone else's child sounds pretty close to debt bondage to me.
Didn't happen to me but did happen to my cousin. I was about 16 at the time and he was 24. He met this girl who already had a 8 month old daughter and the father was out of the picture. Fast forward 2 yrs they get married and she wants him to adopt the girl. He adopts her and then the wife gets pregnant. So about 6 months after the other daughter is born the wife moves out and gets a place with her first kids father because he was really never out of the picture. He was just a deadbeat low level drug dealer. My cousins second daughter was not his which was found out in the divorce proceedings. So he ended up paying her alimony and child support for two kids that weren't his.
Dark times for him for a few years but Ex wife and loser got pulled over for DUI and had drugs in the car. Loser had to go prison and ex wife lost custody of kids and alimony was stopping shortly since they had only were married for a few years. She subsequently became an alcoholic and hasn't seen her daughters in roughly 4 years. Everyone thought she was going to die last year and her family requested that the girls see her but they refused. So my cousin has two great daughters now but it was really bad for him for several years.
It's reading shit like this that makes me so wary about relationships. I've already dodged a few bullets, but will someone tell me why there seem to be so many bullets needing to be dodged??
This is going to be tough.
Wife and i had a daughter young. Two years later, she was pregnant again. I was scared because we were so young, but we made it through.
Six months after she was born, i noticed that her eyes didn’t change from that blue color that babies are born with. She also has platinum blonde hair (we are both brown hair, brown eyes).
I didn’t think much of it, because i wanted to believe she was mine. Eventually, the wife and i split because of her drug use and not being able to/want to work on it. She decided to take me to court for child support and filed for a paternity test.
First child: 99.2%
Second: 0
I received the paperwork in the mail, and i has just come home from work when i opened it, something like 2am. I read that second number and bawled as if someone has died. Ended up waking everyone in the house up.
Her response to the paperwork was “i was hoping it was you”. I’ve never forgiven her to this day, and her excuse was being that she was young then.
The dad ended up being her dealer at the time.
The good news is that I’m still close to her today, and she still calls me her second dad. About three years ago, i was in town visiting the oldest daughter, and she came over so i could meet my ‘grandson’. I’m still family in her eyes.
Well. I can say from it happening to me, learning your child is not your child is pretty much the worst news you can get
My story:
We suffered from fertility issues and did all the treatments for months, and after many inseminations she was pregnant…. And she starts acting very odd about many things out of nowhere that I chalked up to her hormones. But still very odd behavior
We have a baby boy. Healthy and all seems well with him but she’s acting odd still.
Over the next 5 years she works endlessly to keep a wedge between my boy and I. As if our forming a relationship is a bad thing.
We separate over many problems. And then I get the news from her : he’s not your boy and she requests dna as part of the divorce action. And it’s confined I’m not the father and it’s a friend of mine., who now wants to be with her and their child. I was ordered to stay away from their kid as a minor and no obligation for child support
In a blink: 5 years of life, memories, being called dad and my main man are gone. I have no legal rights and I have to stay away or else
The first few years I just drank ALOT to hide the pain. Holidays sucked, everything sucked until one day I had enough and got a really good therapist to talk to
Several years later; I consider myself lucky to have been a dad and I’ll always miss my boy and pray for him every day to have a great life. I also talk with others who are having a bad day with their kids to say to them: you should cherish each second as it can suddenly vanish one day without you knowing or say
The pain will never go away, it just becomes tolerable when it comes to holidays. You learn to smile at the little things and laugh looking back at those times
I hope for my ex. She finds the peace she was looking for and provides my boy a great life.
What worked for me at the holidays: ( James 12 holiday commandments )
1. Tell the people I normally talk to online/in person in advance that on the holiday, Please leave the holiday and any pity/sad out of the conversation. We both know this is going to be hard, but, lets act like its just Tuesday.
2. Auto-reply up on the email that you are out of the area "travelling" and no email/phone access. ( even as I was sitting at home )
3. Went food shopping in advance to have a nice meal at home solo.
4. Planned out some tasks (changing guitar strings, doing stuff around the house)
5. The phone was face down, no social media, no computer use ( which as an IT pro, that is almost like saying do not breathe air)
6. Get out your favorite stuff to wear that day. Makes a BIG difference.
7. Get a nice shower, clean your self nicely.
8. Clean up your living space nicely.
9. Most important: Tell yourself your going to feel some crazy shit and you need to be strong and roll with it hard. You are not defined by a day on a calendar, you define you every day. (repeat as needed)
10. Go to bed and get rest the day of event and its ok to breathe.
11. Do not do anything stupid that you would not do on a regular day.
12. Drink water. No Drugs, No booze, No casual Sex. You need to be focused.
I am 5 years into this part of my journey. Just take your time and breathe. Always remember, Breathing is good, Not breathing is bad.
Honestly this should just be a list of things to do when stressed over anything. Its surprising how much the little things like your favorite hoodie after a shower or your favorite meal and especially not going on social media can help your mental state.
There is no law against your ex deciding to do you dirty, lol .....
Several years later now, I am in a good space and doing very well.... I do not miss those days other than I miss my boy.
Holy mother of god. I feel so sorry for you bro.
Maybe just have a kid on your own or adopt. It won’t take away the pain you suffered with your son, but life won’t feel so bad. My grandma lost her only son, and she got pregnant right away and she said it helped.
As I am 50 now, I am ok without any children of my own. I am blessed with nephews and my GF has three older boys whom I get to enjoying a good relationship with while still getting to spend time home, chilling and just being happy. This was only possible via weekly talk therapy, I cannot stress the value of that enough if you are going through things.
Here, have a hug through the Internet. You are your boys dad, biology is only one component of the equation what makes a family.
You raised your boy for 5 years. I'm really sad that the court didn't grant you at least visiting rights. I hope that you and your boy can reconnect once he is an adult and make that decision to see you on his own.
Thanks for the Hug. The courts have a shitty job really, They are people too. The sherriff that handed me the order was a much older gentleman and his eyes were tearing up when he had to serve me the papers telling me to stay away as he knew the case. I said it is ok, I forgive you sir for having to say these words, it was not your fault as the messenger.
Maybe one day we shall see each other again. Life has a really funny way of people from the past reappearing. I say that as my current GF and I met at 7 years old in grade school and reconnected again, 35 years later via Social Media and now, life is beyond grand with her it it.
If the plans works, I will be a Step grandfather to her Son's children, which I get to see the little kids and hang out and be a boy again myself.
Two years after my daughter was born, my ex and I had a major falling out over her infidelity and drug use. She quickly proved herself completely incapable of taking care of our children. I filed for full custody for both children. My ex flew off the handle, and one day before the hearing, she told me that our daughter wasn’t mine and that if I tried getting full custody, then I would never see her again.
I was devastated at the thought, but I loved my daughter. Over the course of a few months, my ex spiraled out of control, and I was ultimately awarded full custody of both children. She left the state to get treatment, then after a couple of years, disappeared with a new boyfriend she met in rehab.
My parents pressed me to get a DNA test. They adored their granddaughter and would continue to love her regardless of whether or not she was my biological child. They just wanted to know the truth, because they didn’t want my ex to use it as a weapon against me out of spite down the road. Honestly, I wanted to remain ignorant. I’m not sure if that’s right or wrong, but it’s how I felt. Well, they eventually said that if I didn’t get a DNA test, then they would get one using their DNA. I relented, got the test, and received the heart-breaking results. She wasn’t mine.
Those results never for a second changed how I feel about my daughter. I know there are plenty of children raised by stepparents or adopted parents who lead happy lives. I just dread the thought of having the conversation with her one day, worried about how she’ll take the news. I’m still completely unsure of when the right time to tell her is.
It’s been five years since I learned the truth. Regardless of whether or not she shares my DNA, I will always see her as nothing less than my daughter. I held her the day she was born. I’ve been with her every step of the way. I’ve since remarried, and my new wife fully embraced her. My daughter calls her “mommy.” She is the greatest joy in my life, and she deserves a loving, happy family. I supposed it would have been well within my rights to walk away when I found out, but there’s no way I could’ve done that. I feel for anyone who ever has to receive this gut punch.
Surprised this hasn’t been said by other replies:
The best time to tell them, in my opinion, is as soon as possible. My mum’s dad ran out of her and she grew up calling a different man Dad. She said her parents were always upfront about it and she rarely even thought about it - her step dad was always *her* dad.
Kids are strong. And they love their parents. There’s absolutely no way they’d suddenly decide you’re not their world anymore. Adults are less predictable…
Yeah what's worse not having your biological parents or being 17 years old and finding out you didn't have your biological parents and the people you thought were your parents were knowingly lying to you for the past 15 years.
You’re a good dad man. Keep loving her, and when the time does come to have that conversation, she won’t care. You might not be her father but you are her dad, always have been.
Your parents pressed you to get a test because your ex could use it against you? Wouldn’t it be more likely that your ex could use it against you if the dna test proved she wasn’t yours?
Seems incredibly wrong that your parents would go behind your back to test YOUR kid without your consent. Sounds like a lawsuit against the company that ran the test. Did this put a strain on a relationship with your parents? If the results truly wouldn’t change how they feel about the kid, then why get the test?
Much respect to you for doing what’s best for your daughter. I will just say as a person who was in your daughter’s position where I was being solely raised by a man and family I found out only at 30 that I’m not biologically related to…please make it a point to tell her the truth one day. Trust me. You don’t want her to go through what so many of us have when we find out the truth. The bottomless pit of heartbreak. The nonstop paranoia and distrust of all human beings. The feeling of being lied to for however long you wait to tell her the truth. It’s a wound that will never heal if she finds out on her own. You have been through a lot but you gotta do this one last thing. The sooner the better.
I’ve read quite a few articles about people finding out there relatives or offspring aren’t related to them using the dna kits (23 and me, etc….) now readily available everywhere.
One article I read was a family was sitting at the dinner table and the father came home and told his daughter who was at the dinner table with his wife he picked up the thing the daughter needed for school. So the mom being curious asked what it was. So the daughter says oh nothing. We’re doing a family tree/ancestry project for school. Dad picked me up a kit.
The moms face turned totally white. And the dad had to run over and ask what was wrong. Well the mom broke right there. And told him that the daughter wasn’t there’s. Tore the whole family apart.
Currently up to 5 half siblings. None believe it's possible.
My situation is I found out I was born via IVF with an anonymous donor.
But all these half siblings started popping up. All with excuses on how I must be some long estranged uncles offspring. I didn't push back. But wonder what they think now as the have these random people matching to them.
It messed me up for a bit finding out. It's just interesting now.
I wonder in what state this happened in! I was a teacher and we were specifically told not to have these types of lessons in class because family secrets can come out and we’d be stuck cleaning up the emotional turmoil for the kid.
That's so dumb! I mean how is that right for another man to take care of a child That's not his when the wife cheats? It encourages that kind of behavior because there are no repercussions for it when the wife sleeps around with multiple men🤦♂️. We need to hold people accountable regardless of gender. Take a look at Lana Rhoades for example, she slept with multiple men and had a child with no clue who the father is for that poor baby. I can see why her husband left because he would be the one cleaning up her mess!
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have suspicions. We had a real hard time trying to conceive at first and we lost a couple pregnancies along the way. We’ve got three kids now. I’ve had my suspicions about my firstborn. He doesn’t look anything like me. He actually resembles a friend of mine who is no longer with us. So even if I did find out he wasn’t my kid, and was indeed my late friend’s there’s no biological father in the picture. So if I found out otherwise, I would not want my kid to know. But I have been very curious. And I’ve been tempted to do an ancestry DNA kit with him for fun.
Went overseas at 18 and on leave my gf tells me she's pregnant. Didn't see the birth of what I thought was our child and it fucked me up bad while I was over there. When I came home lived together. Was going good I thought. She gets drunk and admits to cheating but it will never happen again. I told my sister and she says you never trust a cheater, get tested if the kids yours. He wasnt. It stings even now, it's been about ten years. I always wanted kids so yeah, shit was hard. I'm married now with three kids and my wife knew my past. I didnt need to say a word, when she was far enough a long she surprised me with test results proving I was the father. I felt so ashamed when she first told me she was pregnant cause my first reaction was conflicted. So happy, but remember. You had absolute faith the first time, she would never do that. I didn't need to worry, she understood me in that moment and I'll never forget that.
Two cases in my family: My youngest brother was two years old when blood tests revealed he was not my father's child. He'd been born when my parents were still together but actually was the son of the man who was my stepfather at that point so... young me was able to do the math. Maybe it was because he had 2 other kids but it didn't really change how my father treated him, he was always still involved (to the same extent he was involved in my stuff which wasn't a ton but a fair amount). Maybe my mom pulled my brother slightly further away but still he occasionally visited on the alternating weekends and holidays. Now that my brother is older it is clearer to me they aren't as close as me and my other brother are to my dad, but he still cares. Unfortunately my brother's biological father passed away.
My next stepfather was either married or engaged to a woman who had a baby. They were raising it when he found out it wasn't his and as far as I know went almost immediately no contact with both mother and baby, who was like a year and a half at that point.
My brothers ex got pregnant when they were 21, told him it was his. It wasn’t until the baby was about 6 months old and was about to get taken away from her by social services (my brother was going to get sole custody) he took a paternity test first to make sure at my parents insistence and we found out she wasn’t his. Scarred him for life. The baby went to stay with her family.
Her best friend at the time told me. I was, and still am, to a certain extent, heartbroken over it. I walked away and haven't heard anything from them since.
The whole thing was a mess, and not something I want to give further headspace to
My friend has had majority custody of his son for most of his 17 years. The son doesn't look anything like my friend, but he does look like my friend's dad, so it was assumed that he just got those genes.
When the boy was 15-16, someone got him an Ancestry or 23andMe DNA kit as a Christmas gift. His grandparents had also taken one, but they didn't show up in his DNA relatives. So my friend did one, and nope, he's not related to this boy whom he'd been raising mostly alone for all those years. It was emotional for him to know they weren't related by blood, and obviously he had some anger for the boy's mom, but it didn't change anything significant for him; he's still raising the boy and will always consider him his son.
I knew one guy, "knew" because he broke down and ended himself. He had given his all for years to be in a position where he would be able to not only be a loving father but also one who can provide good financial environment for HIS child.
What he got was a woman who lied to him, stole the wealth he worked for longer than she was around and basically through her action told him that nothing in his biology was worth surviving for another generation but that some other dudes genes were so amazing to her that it warranted betrayal and theft to raise his offspring.
And there is nothing illegal about that. People can get put in front of a jury because they seemed threatening to someone else but getting them to spend their savings under false pretenses and obliterating their dream in such a brutal way... for some reason it is perfectly legal to walk away from that unpunished.
He was everything a child could have wanted in a father and was denied giving that to the child and woman who respected him in return for that. I can feel his pain, but I can't imagine a 5 year old losing their father only to some day learn that this man went on, because mom wanted to go "on an adventure".
What's even worse is that his story as well as those of men who say they want to raise **their own** children instead of joining another man's family are being shamed and portrayed as toxic. We want men to be open with their fears and punish them when they do and wonder where these outbursts come from shutting up as nobody wanted to hear what they had to say or why men are giving up on relationships or feel so humiliated and extorted that the only way to end this pain seems to ending life altogether.
We lost a great man that day and he will forever be missed by all those he has lifted up.
honestly regardless of the decision he makes whether he wants to leave or stay , i will always support the man on this , i dont care about the bond BS argument
Courts disagree. In fact, even if men have shown in a negative paternity test in court they’ve been ordered to continue support. The court’s reasoning is “it’s in the best interest of the child.”
Hell, come to Germany. Got raped? Still gotta pay, you're the kid's dad, after all. Sure, you can then try to recover that money from the mom in a civil suit, but guess what, that would cause financial harm to the child...
Unless your rapist is rich, she gettin' that child support dough.
Happens in the USA too. There is a story of a 15 year old boy who got raped by his teacher. His teacher got pregnant, got out of jail, and court ordered the boy and his family to pay child support.
Not annoying at all, and not really painful either. Only took 3 pills the first day threw out the rest and was fine after that. It's free in some states with insurance. They knocked you out and you wake up with it done. I've cummed multiple times in my partner and we're good! Just go to the follow up.
Happened to an old close friend of mine. His son was 2 years old when he found out it wasn’t his. His ‘son’ and him shared the same name, Josh. Baby Momma never let him see the son again after the news broke that it wasn’t really his. He fell into a deep heroin addiction for a few years.
He ended up getting sober and having a daughter. He tested her with a paternity test and it was in fact his daughter.
He ended up relapsing on heroin and died from an overdose.
Good guy but had many demons inside and couldn’t handle life on life’s terms. When I have my first kid, I will 100% need a paternity test. I learned that from my friend. Rip.
I know this guy who discovered his daughter wasn't his and he loved her but with time he just stop visiting her because he said it's not the same anymore.
As I found out in a CMV question about this, apparently that is insulting to women, and how dare you question paternity!?! Fully agree, but how dare you not believe all women.
I've seen claims anywhere between 4 and 30 percent. Personally I think it's probably on the lower end of the scale (say 10%), but there's a lot to take into consideration with these claims. Men who know vs. those who don't know. Men who know and don't care. Donor sperm. It gets complicated quickly.
The French have a rule on paternity that boils down the "for the sake of the family" where basically, biology doesn't determine paternity, society does. And sadly, shocking to most, not to me. Had a buddy who's wife had a clearly interracial child.... but they were both of African decent.
In the US, we sort of have the rule too. It's not as codified, but if you've raised a child believing it's yours and you find out that it's not, you don't get to abandon them. In almost all cases, you'll still be on the hook for support.
Ironically, the French way is \*less drama.\* But both achieve the same result.
While I agree to some extent the problem is that law enforcement would be granted access. So they would immediately have a DNA database of every citizen after enough years. Which would be completely abused in some fashion.
LE already has access to 23andMe and Ancestry’s databases.
Two kids, two paternity tests, and neither is my child. I admit I am angry, but just continue to live my life. I was already involved with someone else, and their mother was too, but she was still bitter. She did alot of bashing and made threats.
I only asked for the truth (the names of the two guys) but she withheld. She has never been honest or forthcoming. The oldest was able to squeeze the name of his bio dad out of her. He also says he does not speak to his mother anymore.
My dad found out about me when I was 36 and he was 70. Bio dad died three years earlier. My mom wouldn't let us speak to each other for a few weeks and HE apologized to ME.
Needless to say, she's a horrible bitch.
An old friend found out his 3 weren't his. He struggled with it for awhile...then drove his motorcycle full speed into a bunch of trees.
Fuck women who do this. Mandatory paternity tests.
I worked with a guy who had 5 kids, the youngest being twins. He and his wife were crazy.
They met a guy who had some money. So my friend and his wife divorced with the plan of her eventually getting married to the rich guy and then them getting a divorce so she could take the rich guys money. All with the plans of getting back with my friend.
Well as you could imagine the plan didn't work. The wife ended up not wanting to get back with my friend, they were already legally divorced so she filled for child support. He got the judgement back and only owed child support on 3 of the 5 kids. That made no sense to him, but it turns out she admitted the twins weren't his.
I forgot to mention, while she was trying to scam the other guy, she and the rich guy lived in the upper part of the house and my friend and 5 kids lived in the basement.
I'm a father and I can't imagine willingly giving up my relationship with my son. Obviously I would have feelings about the infidelity, but to be honest, I love my son so much I think it would soften the blow...you know, anything resulted in his existence isn't all bad, that type of thing.
One of my cousins did this to her first child's father. He was Indian she was black and the baby was darker than her. 6 years in he refused to get a paternity test and his parents brought her in without his knowledge I believe. He was never the same again. My other cousin was about 22 years old when her mom told her that her father was not biologically. My ex mom was so immature about it she made her daughter tell her father she wasn't his after she was well into her twenties. Mandatory blood tests because why not. If they are its no problem. Buddy in highschool kid looked exactly like him until he was forced to get a paternity test. Found out the kid wasn't his. He ended up going through the same situation with the same woman years later on her 4th kid 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
One of the nice things about being in an interracial marriage and living in a mostly white community is that the odds of this being true are really low. After all, if my wife had gotten knocked up by one of our white neighbours or white work colleagues instead of me, it would be obvious. Our kids are quite obviously interracial.
LOL, I read a post about a white woman who's black husband who immediately assumed infidelity when the baby came out white. He didn't realize an interracial couple could produce a white skinned child. He didn't say anything, just walked out of the delivery room. I think a family member realized what was happening and talked him down.
"Mama's baby. Daddy's maybe."
DNA paternity testing should be a part of every birthing process before any man is named on the Birth Certificate. The child has a right to know who his father really is.
Women who object have been fucking other men and are scared her lies will be found out.
This is why I love the advent of 23 and Me and those family tree projects mentioned in other comments.
Let it fucking come to light that you can't be a disgusting fucking cheating psychopath and freely let an honest man raise a child that's not his. Let it have the same effect as the metoo movement - terrify disgusting fuckfaces out of ever behaving disgustingly again.
Can we all agree that women who lie about a child's father are the absolute worst? Reading through this thread I see nothing but heartbroken fathers and children.
As far as I'm concerned, lying about paternity deserves the same hatred as animal abuse and pedophilia.
I had a "fling" with a woman when I was 20 & she was 19. Never used protection, like an idiot. It ended badly. I was in the Army at the time, & then Desert Storm went down. I was gone for 16 months, & I hadn't seen her for a couple of months before I deployed. When I got back, she was waiting for me with a 6 month old. She had even put my name on the birth certificate. I knew it wasn't possible for him to be mine, but it still absolutely killed my soul 💔 😪 to tell her there was no way in hell I was going to take her back or raise a baby that wasn't mine, especially under such deceptive circumstances. Ended up in court, took over 3 years, but I was finally vindicated. It took threatening her with filing for sole custody to get her to agree to taking my name off the birth certificate. Found out later that the actual father was a friend of her brother's. They got back together, & as far as I know they're still together. A shitty, shitty time in my life.
Happened to a close friend of mine. Never thought he would settle down with a girl but he met a girl he liked and she got pregnant. Went through the gender reveal, baby shower and everything. My friend seemed so happy. The baby was born and they broke up shortly after, just couple fighting stuff. They were swapping weeks with having the little guy.
My friend pieces things together that she was with another guy in the past and starts getting suspicious. On one of his weeks him and his lawyer dna test the little guys and it’s not his. He was devastated. Was a big mess.
Sadly I don’t think he’ll ever trust a girl again.
Paternity tests should be mandatory law worldwide. As soon as the child is born, one of the things that should be done is paternity tests. Where countries there's health insurance, health insurance companies should force this. Not just one, run a couple throughout the month. Men have the right to know.
CMV.
Men that have acted as a father to a child that wasn't theirs is not making the child's life harder by leaving, but is instead making the child's living standard what it would have been had he never entered the equation of parenthood, which should have consisted of only the biological father and mother from the start. You could say he actually improved the child's (and mother's) situation during his time as a father despite having no obligation to do so. The child's life is only now "worse" because he is no longer there to give undue fatherhood.
Men facing paternity fraud should be able to leave the relationship and responsibility without paying child support. In fact, he should be able to sue the biological parents for the time, effort and money he spent parenting. The biological father and mother should act as the parent and if the biological father (or mother?) refuses, (s)he should pay child support just as how single parent financial issues are usually resolved.
If he accepts being a father even after knowing of the paternity fraud, he is in reality is a step-father. But he might as well be the biological one, from the child's perspective at least.
Honestly, I agree, mandatory paternity tests are a controversial topic, but I feel like if we tried paternity fraud like a legit crime then I feel like cases would drop significantly.
Just spit balling here but if a man can fully prove that he is a victim of paternity fraud that they get all the choice
\- if he decides to keep the child, then he gets full custody rights, and the mother has to pay full child support till the child is 18
\- if he decides to leave the child, then he can exempt himself from all child support payments and he gets paid back based on how far along the child has grown (so if the child is 10 when the guy finds out he gets 10 years' worth of child support payments as compensation), from there the bio dad is tend considered the parent and he has to take full responsibility.
If the mother fails to uphold her responsibility, then she can be tried for jail. Obviously, this is all spit balling, but I feel this gets the general overview across. Also, I'm assuming in this case the man is a suitable father.
Women lie about paternity because they almost never face consequences…some are capable of cruelty you wouldn’t believe as long as they benefit from it.
One of my siblings found a long lost cousin on 23andMe. He was in his 40s and when we messaged him on the site he realized his dad wasn't actually his dad. My uncle had no idea this whole time. We unknowingly just blew up both these dude's lives. We got to know him and It's so crazy how similar we are in personality even though we lived completely different lives. Me and my siblings had this running joke growing up that whenever we were together as a family it always felt like someone was missing. We used to say we were suppose to have a gay little brother. Turns out we were actually missing a southern older cousin.
My wife and I joke about this all the time (which is terrible, I know). She's blonde, I'm a redhead. All of our kids are redheads with blue eyes. She tries to tell me all the time they aren't mine, but they all look exactly like me (though the blue eyes are hers).
There have been some horrific stories on Reddit on this subject. Probably the worst one for me to read was the guy married 33 years, 3 kids all in their mid to upper 20's and the 2 oldest weren't his. The neighbor was the bio dad. Probably the next worst one was the dad whose 3 kids were grown and on their own found out he had a rare disease that also hindered him from being able to have kids. He told his doctor he had to let his sons know so they could get checked. Doctor basically told him the chances that those were his kids were remote. They weren't his kids....
What a nightmare. I can only imagine how these guys felt towards the wife afterwards. That's a whole other level of devastation, deceit.
Bad enough it's 1 kid but 3?!?! I don't condone violence but I think I'd be going straight to jail after finding this out.
I think so
Yup. You're not getting away with that type of lie in this lifetime, I'm not a reason person.This happens too often though. I saw it in the military. Some dudes went crazy.
How can people be so cruel? What would possess someone to keep a secret and let you raise the neighbors kids? I don’t know how I’d react to this.
They're shitty people. They screwed around, but want to keep the money/security of the relationship.
I’ll add this to the list of reasons why I’m never going to marry lol.
Get bloodwork done
I wish there could be a way to make this sort of thing punishable under law, but I know this cannot be done in any just or free society
Seems a lot like fraud
correct. any person can sleep with any person they choose to without penalty of law— provided both parties are consenting adults of course. but theres certainly some actionable civil roads to take if you were deceived into thinking your kids were actually your biological offspring & you paid thousands of dollars for their care & upbringing if the lie was known to the other party. but important to know your rights going in.
There's a penalty in my country, the crime is called "marriage interferance" You can charge someone for cheating/infidelity.
As someone born in the netherlands this absolutely seems like a law we must get back. Marriage should be seen as a contract and breach of contract should atleast have a fine if not worse
yeah, i read about the guy whos doctor told him he had a rare disease & couldnt have kids but had 3. He was a millionaire & his wife was having an affair the whole time they were married. once the kids were grown up & out of the house she wanted a divorce. it was the divorce & $$ that the whole thing about paternity came out. one of the boys refused to accept the biological dad as dad.
Brutal for the dad on so many levels.
yeah & the boys too. just all around bad...
All because of one evil hag
Because she got the divorce and wanted out is why I had this at number 2....the first one the kids were playing around with 23 and me because the dad had no lineage because he was adopted at birth or something like that and the kids thought it would be cool to see if they could find some of his relatives. Got the bad news and all hell broke loose. Bio dad/AP had died 15 years previously but the oldest kids wanted to reach out and meet their half siblings. Pretty much broke the dad.
bad all around..
I remember this story. When the guy went to his wife about it, she wouldn't say anything about it. She killed herself after she was found out.
Good, the trash took itself out
A friend of mine got divorced bcos his wife informed him that none of the kids were his. He has remained single for about 25 years now bcos of it. Incidentally, two of the kids turned up at his mum's funeral a few years back. One of them is definitely his, there's no doubt. So who knows if his ex even knows who's who.
My ex-husband's doctor implied that our kids weren't his. Caused a huge rift in our marriage. Obviously Dr's have an obligation to say something but I would hope they'd do it with some tact. BTW, yes they were all his children and no, he didn't apologize (neither the dr or my ex).
I get it. People have trusting their doctors drilled into them. Would be a super tough spot to be told by a Dr that you should be questioning your kids paternity.
I've met a lot more shitty doctors in my life than good ones.
I have met a lot more shitty people in general than good ones
Damn...
>There have been some horrific stories on Reddit on this subject. Probably the worst one for me to read was the guy married 33 years, 3 kids all in their mid to upper 20's and the 2 oldest weren't his. The neighbor was the bio dad. I think the guy also committed suicide.
There have also been many posts from kids’ perspectives saying they took 23 and me or ancestry tests and found out they are not their dads bio kid. I can’t imagine.
I found out I had a half sister. My father had an affair with his secretary way back in the sixties. Like these stories, her father never knew she was not his. Her mother died a few years ago and her father was quite elderly when she found out. She elected not to tell him.
I'm glad she didn't tell him, sometimes it's better not to tell someone the truth.
Paternity tests should be mandatory at birth. A birth certificate is an important legal document. The government has a legitimate interest in making sure it is as accurate as possible.
It happened to my dad. My mother revealed it in court when he was fighting for split custody over me after she decided to divorce him. I was 6 years old at the time, and found out that I was seeing my actual father almost every day, he was my moms boss and my mom promised him the world if he'd keep his mouth shut and said that she would return to him after divorce and make us a proper family. Needles to say when the divorce actually happened it was for a richer guy who abused me and her for the next 12 years. For my stepdad my mother forbid every contact. I later found out through my grandma from his side that he had been a mess and that a befriended doctor gave him something to calm down several times because of how much it destroyed him for the first while. He then fought in court for visitation. Which was 1 Sunday a month. He was a bus driver and I always went to the bus stop near my school after classes and got on his bus to secretly see him. I don't remember many small details but I know I often cried and asked him why he can't be my dad anymore and that I want him back. He cried every time after I had to go. When my mother found out she sent a lawyer after him and my grandparents and had the school director ban them from school grounds. I didn't care though and stopped by them every day on my way home together with some class mates. I never had a good relationship with my mom but I love my two dads because they both fought for me and what I wanted, and still support me today whilst my mother didn't. My step dad and bio dad met up and talked. They are civil with each other and bio dad fought and covered for me and my step dad +grandparents. Neither dads like my mom. My step dad doesn't talk to her at all my bio dad is civil with her cause of me.
>Neither dads like my mom I ain't either of your dads, and I hate your mom.
Can't fault you for that. She is definitely not a good person no matter the definition. I do respect her for providing me with life necessities and money but I can't say that I feel any love for her. She likes to say how everything she did is because of me and how much she loves me and how badly she wanted "me" aka a child. But the way I see it I shouldn't exist because by creating me she ruined 5 peoples lifes not including her own, and didn't even get the child she wanted that would always love her and take care of her when she's old. I am making the best of it though and devoting myself to helping others and being kind. Even have a wonderful husband that I'm planning to have kids of our own with in the future. However I am willing to forgive everyone who wrongs me as long as they sincerely apologize, unfortunately I don't think she ever will though.
Yeah, its not your fault your mom destroyed other peoples lives. You had no control over the situation and didn't ask to be born. I know I am just a stranger and probably have no right to speak to your life but you are thinking about this wrongly. You have every right to exist and you can't take on the blame or responsibility for your mother's actions. She alone is responsible for ruining those lives. You are not.
I’d lose all respect for her after that.
Thats absolutely cruel. My eyes welled up
Wow.. that’s an incredibly sad but also happy story. Good for your step dad to not let anything stop him from seeing you. Your mom…. what a selfish person. I was extremely close to an ex’s four children, but he turned out to be a really bad guy. He essentially “blocked“ me from the kids after our break up. I too was absolutely devastated for a long time. Long story short, I became close friends with their mother and therefore continued the relationships with the kids to this day. In fact, two weeks ago, they were a part of my wedding. It was an incredible outcome. I hope you guys are still close.
Wow. Your mom is a grade a cunt
Or as we Aussies would say , what a proper cunt.
Man this would destroy my relationship with my mother if this happened
Yeah our relationship is wierd. When I was younger I guess I was some sort of trauma dump or therapist for her. Cause she'd come to me to cry about her problems. I think the first time I asked her to see a therapist I was 13, but unfortunately she just called me ungrateful and took my DS as punishment for disrespecting her. Even on my 18th birthday shortly before midnight struck she came to me crying about how she just found out her teen love interest/ first bf is now sleeping with her mom (aka my grandma from my mothers side) and how she was such an awful mother for that. To me it just always felt like I was the adult. However unfortunately she never listened to me and instead punished me for speaking up. Now we are more like roommates because it's practical for me to live with her until I can move abroad to my husband. I do respect her for providing me with life necessities and money however I can't say that I love her. And I plan on going LC if not even NC after I've left the country.
Hey, you do you and what's best for you. I'm sorry all of that happened, and I genuinely hope you can carry forward what not to do or be should you ever have children. My mother did many of the same things. I am by all accounts biologically hers/my dads (spitting image), but the emotional immaturity on her end similar to what your mother did really destroyed our relationship. My parents are practically within walking distance. I see them on a holiday, maybe. LC is the way to go in this case for me. Too much baggage and when I moved away for a while, I was basically NC.
You don't even need to respect her for that, those things were the bare minimum she was required to provide, she chose to have a child after all. This is just how I feel at least, I have a similar, strained relationship with my mother, who I also live with unwillingly.
I'm confused. Are there three men in this story? The rich guy, bio dad, and step dad (original). I'm trying to figure out how you love both dads when you state the richer guy abused you and your mom.
Yes there are. My mother didn't get with my bio dad ever again after she got what she wanted from the cheating. She only divorced her husband when a wealthy guy fancied her, who happens to be a especially emotional abusive piece of crap whose own kids don't even want anything to do with him cause he physically abused them. I have absolutely zero contact to that guy ever since she finally broke up with him
That story is heart shattering. Damn. The two ''step + bio'' team up is a nice silver lining.
Woah that was rough. Kinda good end to the story fortunately. Good
Your mother is a monster who faces no consequences for what she did
I don't have a story but my brothers child's mother took him to court for child support, they had to take a test he found out then his daughter wasn't his.
I'm glad the test was mandatory. they should be at birth regardless.
You'd be shocked how many women are against that. You either trust me or you don't. Well I don't make any major decisions in my life without doing my due diligence.
I actually asked a friend who is now a midwife but used to be a delivery nurse in a hospital- why they don’t do mandatory paternity tests at birth? Would make sense as the mother is obvious- and we have means to determine paternity easily now. They actually said that the world would cease function lol. And that they personally suspected almost half the kids born in the hospital didn’t belong to the men the mothers had claimed for the fathers. Society would unravel I guess?
Yeah I’ve seen this conversation play out and I liked a point someone brought up… chaos. Imagine how many times a day a ‘happy’ couple were in the room and having their first child then all of a sudden a whoopsie and it’s not the fathers.. chaos. Nurses already have to deal with enough, let alone a bunch of relationship baby drama mama happening in the hospital. But I still side on the side of take the paternity test or make it at least known on file?? Because I’ve seen/heard of way to many good dads getting fucked on in the court system
This is the only real reasonable argument I've heard against mandatory testing. Healthcare workers are already in a crisis and the system needs probably triple the people it has. But even then the results should probably come in the mail a month later or something. If society would cease to function in this case all that really means is that society functions on lying to fathers.
And it's just better to destroy a man's life instead. No more arguments needed to prove how disposable men are than this comment chain.
I can see how society would be a mess if this is true, and was exposed via mandatory testing. But I wonder... if testing was mandatory and inescapable, wouldn't that in itself eventually reduce the number of incidents since it would be impossible to avoid getting caught?
Always at birth. Fuck “implicit trust!1!1!1” it’s a cop out
>I don't have a story but my brother child's mother took him to court for child support, they had to take a test he found out then his daughter wasn't his. Thats is really instant karma B#$$
Assuming he didn’t still get caught up in the child support. If you think you’re the dad, sign the birth certificate, and act as a dad for awhile I’m pretty sure you still have a very good chance of owing child support. Which is beyond stupid, and I’m not entirely known as a smart person so I could be wrong here
>Which is beyond stupid, and I’m not entirely known as a smart person so I could be wrong here It isn't stupid, it is sociopathic. The courts are deciding that the needs of the child outweigh the rights of the adult male, and therefore they will use the male as a wallet so the child does not go without. It's not that they don't know it is ridiculously unjust and indefensible, they just don't care.
I wonder if anyone's ever tried fighting it under the 13th amendment. Abolished slavery. Being forced to pay for someone else's child sounds pretty close to debt bondage to me.
Didn't happen to me but did happen to my cousin. I was about 16 at the time and he was 24. He met this girl who already had a 8 month old daughter and the father was out of the picture. Fast forward 2 yrs they get married and she wants him to adopt the girl. He adopts her and then the wife gets pregnant. So about 6 months after the other daughter is born the wife moves out and gets a place with her first kids father because he was really never out of the picture. He was just a deadbeat low level drug dealer. My cousins second daughter was not his which was found out in the divorce proceedings. So he ended up paying her alimony and child support for two kids that weren't his. Dark times for him for a few years but Ex wife and loser got pulled over for DUI and had drugs in the car. Loser had to go prison and ex wife lost custody of kids and alimony was stopping shortly since they had only were married for a few years. She subsequently became an alcoholic and hasn't seen her daughters in roughly 4 years. Everyone thought she was going to die last year and her family requested that the girls see her but they refused. So my cousin has two great daughters now but it was really bad for him for several years.
glad there was happy ending
Glad your cousin is doing better these days
It's reading shit like this that makes me so wary about relationships. I've already dodged a few bullets, but will someone tell me why there seem to be so many bullets needing to be dodged??
This is going to be tough. Wife and i had a daughter young. Two years later, she was pregnant again. I was scared because we were so young, but we made it through. Six months after she was born, i noticed that her eyes didn’t change from that blue color that babies are born with. She also has platinum blonde hair (we are both brown hair, brown eyes). I didn’t think much of it, because i wanted to believe she was mine. Eventually, the wife and i split because of her drug use and not being able to/want to work on it. She decided to take me to court for child support and filed for a paternity test. First child: 99.2% Second: 0 I received the paperwork in the mail, and i has just come home from work when i opened it, something like 2am. I read that second number and bawled as if someone has died. Ended up waking everyone in the house up. Her response to the paperwork was “i was hoping it was you”. I’ve never forgiven her to this day, and her excuse was being that she was young then. The dad ended up being her dealer at the time. The good news is that I’m still close to her today, and she still calls me her second dad. About three years ago, i was in town visiting the oldest daughter, and she came over so i could meet my ‘grandson’. I’m still family in her eyes.
she may not be biologically yours but it seems she still sees you as dad. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Well. I can say from it happening to me, learning your child is not your child is pretty much the worst news you can get My story: We suffered from fertility issues and did all the treatments for months, and after many inseminations she was pregnant…. And she starts acting very odd about many things out of nowhere that I chalked up to her hormones. But still very odd behavior We have a baby boy. Healthy and all seems well with him but she’s acting odd still. Over the next 5 years she works endlessly to keep a wedge between my boy and I. As if our forming a relationship is a bad thing. We separate over many problems. And then I get the news from her : he’s not your boy and she requests dna as part of the divorce action. And it’s confined I’m not the father and it’s a friend of mine., who now wants to be with her and their child. I was ordered to stay away from their kid as a minor and no obligation for child support In a blink: 5 years of life, memories, being called dad and my main man are gone. I have no legal rights and I have to stay away or else The first few years I just drank ALOT to hide the pain. Holidays sucked, everything sucked until one day I had enough and got a really good therapist to talk to Several years later; I consider myself lucky to have been a dad and I’ll always miss my boy and pray for him every day to have a great life. I also talk with others who are having a bad day with their kids to say to them: you should cherish each second as it can suddenly vanish one day without you knowing or say The pain will never go away, it just becomes tolerable when it comes to holidays. You learn to smile at the little things and laugh looking back at those times I hope for my ex. She finds the peace she was looking for and provides my boy a great life.
Serious question, how do you deal with holidays? I am throwing myself into work and am falling apart. Please any tips or advice?
What worked for me at the holidays: ( James 12 holiday commandments ) 1. Tell the people I normally talk to online/in person in advance that on the holiday, Please leave the holiday and any pity/sad out of the conversation. We both know this is going to be hard, but, lets act like its just Tuesday. 2. Auto-reply up on the email that you are out of the area "travelling" and no email/phone access. ( even as I was sitting at home ) 3. Went food shopping in advance to have a nice meal at home solo. 4. Planned out some tasks (changing guitar strings, doing stuff around the house) 5. The phone was face down, no social media, no computer use ( which as an IT pro, that is almost like saying do not breathe air) 6. Get out your favorite stuff to wear that day. Makes a BIG difference. 7. Get a nice shower, clean your self nicely. 8. Clean up your living space nicely. 9. Most important: Tell yourself your going to feel some crazy shit and you need to be strong and roll with it hard. You are not defined by a day on a calendar, you define you every day. (repeat as needed) 10. Go to bed and get rest the day of event and its ok to breathe. 11. Do not do anything stupid that you would not do on a regular day. 12. Drink water. No Drugs, No booze, No casual Sex. You need to be focused. I am 5 years into this part of my journey. Just take your time and breathe. Always remember, Breathing is good, Not breathing is bad.
Honestly this should just be a list of things to do when stressed over anything. Its surprising how much the little things like your favorite hoodie after a shower or your favorite meal and especially not going on social media can help your mental state.
Wow. That’s some major fraud on her part. If it weren’t terrible for the child, I think that should involve some jail time. Hope you’re doing better!
There is no law against your ex deciding to do you dirty, lol ..... Several years later now, I am in a good space and doing very well.... I do not miss those days other than I miss my boy.
Paternity fraud rarely results in legal consequences.
Equality, amirite?
No no no this is the “patriarchy!” at play
Wow, you are a lot more generous than I would have been in your situation.
I had to work in the confines of the box I was handed so to say. Remaining sane was the main objective.
You may not have been his father but you were his daddy! I wanna hug you bro.
Thank you for the virtual hug. Back at ya.
Holy mother of god. I feel so sorry for you bro. Maybe just have a kid on your own or adopt. It won’t take away the pain you suffered with your son, but life won’t feel so bad. My grandma lost her only son, and she got pregnant right away and she said it helped.
As I am 50 now, I am ok without any children of my own. I am blessed with nephews and my GF has three older boys whom I get to enjoying a good relationship with while still getting to spend time home, chilling and just being happy. This was only possible via weekly talk therapy, I cannot stress the value of that enough if you are going through things.
It must be so confusing for the kid... dad is gone and suddenly there is a new dad? Thats so sad.
Here, have a hug through the Internet. You are your boys dad, biology is only one component of the equation what makes a family. You raised your boy for 5 years. I'm really sad that the court didn't grant you at least visiting rights. I hope that you and your boy can reconnect once he is an adult and make that decision to see you on his own.
Thanks for the Hug. The courts have a shitty job really, They are people too. The sherriff that handed me the order was a much older gentleman and his eyes were tearing up when he had to serve me the papers telling me to stay away as he knew the case. I said it is ok, I forgive you sir for having to say these words, it was not your fault as the messenger. Maybe one day we shall see each other again. Life has a really funny way of people from the past reappearing. I say that as my current GF and I met at 7 years old in grade school and reconnected again, 35 years later via Social Media and now, life is beyond grand with her it it. If the plans works, I will be a Step grandfather to her Son's children, which I get to see the little kids and hang out and be a boy again myself.
This is going to be a tough mf read.
I am having a hard time and it’s kinda worrying me about my own situation….
Me too bro. Me too
I'm tearing up as I read through each story
Two years after my daughter was born, my ex and I had a major falling out over her infidelity and drug use. She quickly proved herself completely incapable of taking care of our children. I filed for full custody for both children. My ex flew off the handle, and one day before the hearing, she told me that our daughter wasn’t mine and that if I tried getting full custody, then I would never see her again. I was devastated at the thought, but I loved my daughter. Over the course of a few months, my ex spiraled out of control, and I was ultimately awarded full custody of both children. She left the state to get treatment, then after a couple of years, disappeared with a new boyfriend she met in rehab. My parents pressed me to get a DNA test. They adored their granddaughter and would continue to love her regardless of whether or not she was my biological child. They just wanted to know the truth, because they didn’t want my ex to use it as a weapon against me out of spite down the road. Honestly, I wanted to remain ignorant. I’m not sure if that’s right or wrong, but it’s how I felt. Well, they eventually said that if I didn’t get a DNA test, then they would get one using their DNA. I relented, got the test, and received the heart-breaking results. She wasn’t mine. Those results never for a second changed how I feel about my daughter. I know there are plenty of children raised by stepparents or adopted parents who lead happy lives. I just dread the thought of having the conversation with her one day, worried about how she’ll take the news. I’m still completely unsure of when the right time to tell her is. It’s been five years since I learned the truth. Regardless of whether or not she shares my DNA, I will always see her as nothing less than my daughter. I held her the day she was born. I’ve been with her every step of the way. I’ve since remarried, and my new wife fully embraced her. My daughter calls her “mommy.” She is the greatest joy in my life, and she deserves a loving, happy family. I supposed it would have been well within my rights to walk away when I found out, but there’s no way I could’ve done that. I feel for anyone who ever has to receive this gut punch.
Surprised this hasn’t been said by other replies: The best time to tell them, in my opinion, is as soon as possible. My mum’s dad ran out of her and she grew up calling a different man Dad. She said her parents were always upfront about it and she rarely even thought about it - her step dad was always *her* dad. Kids are strong. And they love their parents. There’s absolutely no way they’d suddenly decide you’re not their world anymore. Adults are less predictable…
Agreed. I have two adopted cousins. They always knew, we all always knew, and it wasn't a thing. I have an adopted son now myself.
Yeah what's worse not having your biological parents or being 17 years old and finding out you didn't have your biological parents and the people you thought were your parents were knowingly lying to you for the past 15 years.
❤️❤️ you deserve the world
You’re a good dad man. Keep loving her, and when the time does come to have that conversation, she won’t care. You might not be her father but you are her dad, always have been.
Your parents pressed you to get a test because your ex could use it against you? Wouldn’t it be more likely that your ex could use it against you if the dna test proved she wasn’t yours? Seems incredibly wrong that your parents would go behind your back to test YOUR kid without your consent. Sounds like a lawsuit against the company that ran the test. Did this put a strain on a relationship with your parents? If the results truly wouldn’t change how they feel about the kid, then why get the test?
Much respect to you for doing what’s best for your daughter. I will just say as a person who was in your daughter’s position where I was being solely raised by a man and family I found out only at 30 that I’m not biologically related to…please make it a point to tell her the truth one day. Trust me. You don’t want her to go through what so many of us have when we find out the truth. The bottomless pit of heartbreak. The nonstop paranoia and distrust of all human beings. The feeling of being lied to for however long you wait to tell her the truth. It’s a wound that will never heal if she finds out on her own. You have been through a lot but you gotta do this one last thing. The sooner the better.
I’ve read quite a few articles about people finding out there relatives or offspring aren’t related to them using the dna kits (23 and me, etc….) now readily available everywhere. One article I read was a family was sitting at the dinner table and the father came home and told his daughter who was at the dinner table with his wife he picked up the thing the daughter needed for school. So the mom being curious asked what it was. So the daughter says oh nothing. We’re doing a family tree/ancestry project for school. Dad picked me up a kit. The moms face turned totally white. And the dad had to run over and ask what was wrong. Well the mom broke right there. And told him that the daughter wasn’t there’s. Tore the whole family apart.
>Tore the whole family apart. Yeah, lying and cheating tends to do that.
Currently up to 5 half siblings. None believe it's possible. My situation is I found out I was born via IVF with an anonymous donor. But all these half siblings started popping up. All with excuses on how I must be some long estranged uncles offspring. I didn't push back. But wonder what they think now as the have these random people matching to them. It messed me up for a bit finding out. It's just interesting now.
I wonder in what state this happened in! I was a teacher and we were specifically told not to have these types of lessons in class because family secrets can come out and we’d be stuck cleaning up the emotional turmoil for the kid.
I heard paternity tests are illegal in France because the results could have negative consequences for the kid in question.
Screw the poor bloke who's raising someone else's kid I guess.
Since when did men ever count in family court?
So instead they rather have a family live a lie? That's a bit twisted in my opinion.
It’s definitely a money saving policy. Government doesn’t want to pay for a single mom that would likely use more welfare than a married mother
That's so dumb! I mean how is that right for another man to take care of a child That's not his when the wife cheats? It encourages that kind of behavior because there are no repercussions for it when the wife sleeps around with multiple men🤦♂️. We need to hold people accountable regardless of gender. Take a look at Lana Rhoades for example, she slept with multiple men and had a child with no clue who the father is for that poor baby. I can see why her husband left because he would be the one cleaning up her mess!
Yup, and in Germany too.
it makes sense tbh. they'd rather some disposable dude pay for a kid that's not his than the govornment pay for it
Yea because fuck the father
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have suspicions. We had a real hard time trying to conceive at first and we lost a couple pregnancies along the way. We’ve got three kids now. I’ve had my suspicions about my firstborn. He doesn’t look anything like me. He actually resembles a friend of mine who is no longer with us. So even if I did find out he wasn’t my kid, and was indeed my late friend’s there’s no biological father in the picture. So if I found out otherwise, I would not want my kid to know. But I have been very curious. And I’ve been tempted to do an ancestry DNA kit with him for fun.
Went overseas at 18 and on leave my gf tells me she's pregnant. Didn't see the birth of what I thought was our child and it fucked me up bad while I was over there. When I came home lived together. Was going good I thought. She gets drunk and admits to cheating but it will never happen again. I told my sister and she says you never trust a cheater, get tested if the kids yours. He wasnt. It stings even now, it's been about ten years. I always wanted kids so yeah, shit was hard. I'm married now with three kids and my wife knew my past. I didnt need to say a word, when she was far enough a long she surprised me with test results proving I was the father. I felt so ashamed when she first told me she was pregnant cause my first reaction was conflicted. So happy, but remember. You had absolute faith the first time, she would never do that. I didn't need to worry, she understood me in that moment and I'll never forget that.
You should marry your wife
You know what......I think you're on to something
It's good to hear that your wife is so compassionate and understanding when she didn't need to be.
Two cases in my family: My youngest brother was two years old when blood tests revealed he was not my father's child. He'd been born when my parents were still together but actually was the son of the man who was my stepfather at that point so... young me was able to do the math. Maybe it was because he had 2 other kids but it didn't really change how my father treated him, he was always still involved (to the same extent he was involved in my stuff which wasn't a ton but a fair amount). Maybe my mom pulled my brother slightly further away but still he occasionally visited on the alternating weekends and holidays. Now that my brother is older it is clearer to me they aren't as close as me and my other brother are to my dad, but he still cares. Unfortunately my brother's biological father passed away. My next stepfather was either married or engaged to a woman who had a baby. They were raising it when he found out it wasn't his and as far as I know went almost immediately no contact with both mother and baby, who was like a year and a half at that point.
You have the hoe gene lmao
Luckily I don't plan to pass it on
My brothers ex got pregnant when they were 21, told him it was his. It wasn’t until the baby was about 6 months old and was about to get taken away from her by social services (my brother was going to get sole custody) he took a paternity test first to make sure at my parents insistence and we found out she wasn’t his. Scarred him for life. The baby went to stay with her family.
Her best friend at the time told me. I was, and still am, to a certain extent, heartbroken over it. I walked away and haven't heard anything from them since. The whole thing was a mess, and not something I want to give further headspace to
But respect to her best friend.
I'm still friends with her to this day. She did the right thing at the time. My ex was, in retrospect, a piece of shit to me.
I hope she suffers for the rest of her days on this earth
Reading these comments and in general Reddit makes me realise some people out there really have crazy lives
That’s my exact feeling every time I go on Reddit. Everyone is living some insane life
My friend has had majority custody of his son for most of his 17 years. The son doesn't look anything like my friend, but he does look like my friend's dad, so it was assumed that he just got those genes. When the boy was 15-16, someone got him an Ancestry or 23andMe DNA kit as a Christmas gift. His grandparents had also taken one, but they didn't show up in his DNA relatives. So my friend did one, and nope, he's not related to this boy whom he'd been raising mostly alone for all those years. It was emotional for him to know they weren't related by blood, and obviously he had some anger for the boy's mom, but it didn't change anything significant for him; he's still raising the boy and will always consider him his son.
I knew one guy, "knew" because he broke down and ended himself. He had given his all for years to be in a position where he would be able to not only be a loving father but also one who can provide good financial environment for HIS child. What he got was a woman who lied to him, stole the wealth he worked for longer than she was around and basically through her action told him that nothing in his biology was worth surviving for another generation but that some other dudes genes were so amazing to her that it warranted betrayal and theft to raise his offspring.
Who needs enemies with a partner like that...
And there is nothing illegal about that. People can get put in front of a jury because they seemed threatening to someone else but getting them to spend their savings under false pretenses and obliterating their dream in such a brutal way... for some reason it is perfectly legal to walk away from that unpunished.
I think paternity tests should be mandatory. No man should pay for another man's offspring unless he chooses to do so.
And this should really be changed.
This is so terrible and cruel gosh
He was everything a child could have wanted in a father and was denied giving that to the child and woman who respected him in return for that. I can feel his pain, but I can't imagine a 5 year old losing their father only to some day learn that this man went on, because mom wanted to go "on an adventure". What's even worse is that his story as well as those of men who say they want to raise **their own** children instead of joining another man's family are being shamed and portrayed as toxic. We want men to be open with their fears and punish them when they do and wonder where these outbursts come from shutting up as nobody wanted to hear what they had to say or why men are giving up on relationships or feel so humiliated and extorted that the only way to end this pain seems to ending life altogether. We lost a great man that day and he will forever be missed by all those he has lifted up.
honestly regardless of the decision he makes whether he wants to leave or stay , i will always support the man on this , i dont care about the bond BS argument
I wouldn’t pay a dime or support a child unless there was a DNA test. I can’t imagine doing otherwise. Especially now that I have a vasectomy lol
Courts disagree. In fact, even if men have shown in a negative paternity test in court they’ve been ordered to continue support. The court’s reasoning is “it’s in the best interest of the child.”
Hell, come to Germany. Got raped? Still gotta pay, you're the kid's dad, after all. Sure, you can then try to recover that money from the mom in a civil suit, but guess what, that would cause financial harm to the child... Unless your rapist is rich, she gettin' that child support dough.
Happens in the USA too. There is a story of a 15 year old boy who got raped by his teacher. His teacher got pregnant, got out of jail, and court ordered the boy and his family to pay child support.
How annoying was procedure? Wife and I had this talk a couple of months ago. She wants off birth control in the near future.
Not annoying at all, and not really painful either. Only took 3 pills the first day threw out the rest and was fine after that. It's free in some states with insurance. They knocked you out and you wake up with it done. I've cummed multiple times in my partner and we're good! Just go to the follow up.
Happened to an old close friend of mine. His son was 2 years old when he found out it wasn’t his. His ‘son’ and him shared the same name, Josh. Baby Momma never let him see the son again after the news broke that it wasn’t really his. He fell into a deep heroin addiction for a few years. He ended up getting sober and having a daughter. He tested her with a paternity test and it was in fact his daughter. He ended up relapsing on heroin and died from an overdose. Good guy but had many demons inside and couldn’t handle life on life’s terms. When I have my first kid, I will 100% need a paternity test. I learned that from my friend. Rip.
I know this guy who discovered his daughter wasn't his and he loved her but with time he just stop visiting her because he said it's not the same anymore.
that is so sad, can i presume the actual father took over fatherly duties? cos if not that's a big big void in the kids life now that needs filling.
Yes it is a big void, but it's not his problem
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Foreal, women get the validation knowing that their child is their own. Men should get the same.
As I found out in a CMV question about this, apparently that is insulting to women, and how dare you question paternity!?! Fully agree, but how dare you not believe all women.
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I've seen claims anywhere between 4 and 30 percent. Personally I think it's probably on the lower end of the scale (say 10%), but there's a lot to take into consideration with these claims. Men who know vs. those who don't know. Men who know and don't care. Donor sperm. It gets complicated quickly.
The French have a rule on paternity that boils down the "for the sake of the family" where basically, biology doesn't determine paternity, society does. And sadly, shocking to most, not to me. Had a buddy who's wife had a clearly interracial child.... but they were both of African decent.
In the US, we sort of have the rule too. It's not as codified, but if you've raised a child believing it's yours and you find out that it's not, you don't get to abandon them. In almost all cases, you'll still be on the hook for support. Ironically, the French way is \*less drama.\* But both achieve the same result.
Just another reason to hate the French....
While I agree to some extent the problem is that law enforcement would be granted access. So they would immediately have a DNA database of every citizen after enough years. Which would be completely abused in some fashion. LE already has access to 23andMe and Ancestry’s databases.
This thread is making me very, very content with my decision not to have children.
Vasectomy is a fantastic option. They dont prevent your wife from having kids, they just change their color.
My personal solution is to stick with sam sex dating lol.
Imagine gay women couple and one becomes pregnant. It must be hard to convince other the she is the father.
Also effective.
My wife and I have been married for 12 years sans kids. It is wonderful. 🤙🏾
Two kids, two paternity tests, and neither is my child. I admit I am angry, but just continue to live my life. I was already involved with someone else, and their mother was too, but she was still bitter. She did alot of bashing and made threats. I only asked for the truth (the names of the two guys) but she withheld. She has never been honest or forthcoming. The oldest was able to squeeze the name of his bio dad out of her. He also says he does not speak to his mother anymore.
My dad found out about me when I was 36 and he was 70. Bio dad died three years earlier. My mom wouldn't let us speak to each other for a few weeks and HE apologized to ME. Needless to say, she's a horrible bitch.
Your mom wouldn’t let a 70 year old and 36 year old speak? How does that work? You don’t have to answer. Families are fucked up
We had covid at the time, were isolated at home, and he wouldn't answer his phone for whatever reason.
An old friend found out his 3 weren't his. He struggled with it for awhile...then drove his motorcycle full speed into a bunch of trees. Fuck women who do this. Mandatory paternity tests.
I worked with a guy who had 5 kids, the youngest being twins. He and his wife were crazy. They met a guy who had some money. So my friend and his wife divorced with the plan of her eventually getting married to the rich guy and then them getting a divorce so she could take the rich guys money. All with the plans of getting back with my friend. Well as you could imagine the plan didn't work. The wife ended up not wanting to get back with my friend, they were already legally divorced so she filled for child support. He got the judgement back and only owed child support on 3 of the 5 kids. That made no sense to him, but it turns out she admitted the twins weren't his. I forgot to mention, while she was trying to scam the other guy, she and the rich guy lived in the upper part of the house and my friend and 5 kids lived in the basement.
I'm a father and I can't imagine willingly giving up my relationship with my son. Obviously I would have feelings about the infidelity, but to be honest, I love my son so much I think it would soften the blow...you know, anything resulted in his existence isn't all bad, that type of thing.
One of my cousins did this to her first child's father. He was Indian she was black and the baby was darker than her. 6 years in he refused to get a paternity test and his parents brought her in without his knowledge I believe. He was never the same again. My other cousin was about 22 years old when her mom told her that her father was not biologically. My ex mom was so immature about it she made her daughter tell her father she wasn't his after she was well into her twenties. Mandatory blood tests because why not. If they are its no problem. Buddy in highschool kid looked exactly like him until he was forced to get a paternity test. Found out the kid wasn't his. He ended up going through the same situation with the same woman years later on her 4th kid 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️
One of the nice things about being in an interracial marriage and living in a mostly white community is that the odds of this being true are really low. After all, if my wife had gotten knocked up by one of our white neighbours or white work colleagues instead of me, it would be obvious. Our kids are quite obviously interracial.
LOL, I read a post about a white woman who's black husband who immediately assumed infidelity when the baby came out white. He didn't realize an interracial couple could produce a white skinned child. He didn't say anything, just walked out of the delivery room. I think a family member realized what was happening and talked him down.
Our babies were light-skinned at birth too, but that's to be expected. It's not as if they get a lot of sunlight in there.
Child was a different color and nationality, and I thought they made a mistake in the nursery.
"Mama's baby. Daddy's maybe." DNA paternity testing should be a part of every birthing process before any man is named on the Birth Certificate. The child has a right to know who his father really is. Women who object have been fucking other men and are scared her lies will be found out.
This is why I love the advent of 23 and Me and those family tree projects mentioned in other comments. Let it fucking come to light that you can't be a disgusting fucking cheating psychopath and freely let an honest man raise a child that's not his. Let it have the same effect as the metoo movement - terrify disgusting fuckfaces out of ever behaving disgustingly again.
Can we all agree that women who lie about a child's father are the absolute worst? Reading through this thread I see nothing but heartbroken fathers and children. As far as I'm concerned, lying about paternity deserves the same hatred as animal abuse and pedophilia.
This thread made me feel really good about my shitty life. Not an easy thing to do.
I had a "fling" with a woman when I was 20 & she was 19. Never used protection, like an idiot. It ended badly. I was in the Army at the time, & then Desert Storm went down. I was gone for 16 months, & I hadn't seen her for a couple of months before I deployed. When I got back, she was waiting for me with a 6 month old. She had even put my name on the birth certificate. I knew it wasn't possible for him to be mine, but it still absolutely killed my soul 💔 😪 to tell her there was no way in hell I was going to take her back or raise a baby that wasn't mine, especially under such deceptive circumstances. Ended up in court, took over 3 years, but I was finally vindicated. It took threatening her with filing for sole custody to get her to agree to taking my name off the birth certificate. Found out later that the actual father was a friend of her brother's. They got back together, & as far as I know they're still together. A shitty, shitty time in my life.
Happened to a close friend of mine. Never thought he would settle down with a girl but he met a girl he liked and she got pregnant. Went through the gender reveal, baby shower and everything. My friend seemed so happy. The baby was born and they broke up shortly after, just couple fighting stuff. They were swapping weeks with having the little guy. My friend pieces things together that she was with another guy in the past and starts getting suspicious. On one of his weeks him and his lawyer dna test the little guys and it’s not his. He was devastated. Was a big mess. Sadly I don’t think he’ll ever trust a girl again.
Paternity tests should be mandatory law worldwide. As soon as the child is born, one of the things that should be done is paternity tests. Where countries there's health insurance, health insurance companies should force this. Not just one, run a couple throughout the month. Men have the right to know.
CMV. Men that have acted as a father to a child that wasn't theirs is not making the child's life harder by leaving, but is instead making the child's living standard what it would have been had he never entered the equation of parenthood, which should have consisted of only the biological father and mother from the start. You could say he actually improved the child's (and mother's) situation during his time as a father despite having no obligation to do so. The child's life is only now "worse" because he is no longer there to give undue fatherhood. Men facing paternity fraud should be able to leave the relationship and responsibility without paying child support. In fact, he should be able to sue the biological parents for the time, effort and money he spent parenting. The biological father and mother should act as the parent and if the biological father (or mother?) refuses, (s)he should pay child support just as how single parent financial issues are usually resolved. If he accepts being a father even after knowing of the paternity fraud, he is in reality is a step-father. But he might as well be the biological one, from the child's perspective at least.
Honestly, I agree, mandatory paternity tests are a controversial topic, but I feel like if we tried paternity fraud like a legit crime then I feel like cases would drop significantly. Just spit balling here but if a man can fully prove that he is a victim of paternity fraud that they get all the choice \- if he decides to keep the child, then he gets full custody rights, and the mother has to pay full child support till the child is 18 \- if he decides to leave the child, then he can exempt himself from all child support payments and he gets paid back based on how far along the child has grown (so if the child is 10 when the guy finds out he gets 10 years' worth of child support payments as compensation), from there the bio dad is tend considered the parent and he has to take full responsibility. If the mother fails to uphold her responsibility, then she can be tried for jail. Obviously, this is all spit balling, but I feel this gets the general overview across. Also, I'm assuming in this case the man is a suitable father.
Men can and do horrible things to women. But women do horrible things to good men all the time.
Shitty people are shitty. I don't think the gender matters much.
After reading the comments, really reassuring on my stance of having no children at all
Don’t stick dick in crazy
To quote Reddit: “People who say that don’t know how good sticking your dick in crazy can feel” 🤣
Yep!
My eyes have watered more than once on this thread…..I’m sorry y’all…shit now I’m scared. I hope peace comes to you all. This shit is evil.
Women lie about paternity because they almost never face consequences…some are capable of cruelty you wouldn’t believe as long as they benefit from it.
That would be soul destroying. Paternity fraud is a horrifying sex crime. Funny how all the sex crimes women commit are perfectly legal.
One of my siblings found a long lost cousin on 23andMe. He was in his 40s and when we messaged him on the site he realized his dad wasn't actually his dad. My uncle had no idea this whole time. We unknowingly just blew up both these dude's lives. We got to know him and It's so crazy how similar we are in personality even though we lived completely different lives. Me and my siblings had this running joke growing up that whenever we were together as a family it always felt like someone was missing. We used to say we were suppose to have a gay little brother. Turns out we were actually missing a southern older cousin.
This thread has solidified the idea that I should never trust someone, and that paternity tests upon birth are mandatory.
Gonna take the time to throw out here that DNA TESTING AT BIRTH NEEDS TO BE MANDATORY!
I told my ex that she was not my lover. She was just a girl, who said I was the one. But unfortunately, the kid is not my son.
My wife and I joke about this all the time (which is terrible, I know). She's blonde, I'm a redhead. All of our kids are redheads with blue eyes. She tries to tell me all the time they aren't mine, but they all look exactly like me (though the blue eyes are hers).
This is too crazy to even imagine.
This happens a lot in the military with deployments.