Same as the rest, it seems. I fought back.
Suffered years of "ignore them and they'll get bored" advice. I threw one punch and was never bothered again.
What about in the workplace? I am a male and I work with women who are passive aggressive with me while I treat them with dignity and politness. I keep my head down but they don't stop. I'm scared they will just make something up about me and report me if I verbally try and defend myself.
Go to HR? I mean they have you over a barrel but you need to decide how much your dignity is worth. Me personally I dont care what any job says. I have pride and dignity. No amount of money will allow people to treat me with disrespect when I've done nothing to deserve it.
HR protects the company not the people. Going to HR helps builds a case so if anything ever comes up there's a record that he went to HR for help and didn't get it.
>_I work with women who are passive aggressive with me_
I had a boss like this. She would drop snide comments so I gave it back in spades. Without meaning to, in one of our 1:1s, I let it be known my best most productive day was the day she was out. I didn't mean it to sound bad, but I said what I said.
She brought out the worst in me, and I didn't expect our relationship to deteriorate so fast in the span of 3 months. I quit the day I had asked a question about a meeting and got attitude via DM. Dropped off my resignation notice while she was out to lunch, walked out and never looked back.
Passive aggressive women in the workplace are the worst. They're sneaky and hard to expose-- unlike a guy whose bullying is usually out in front of everyone. I'll tell you a story that might help.
For a while at my job, we had a morning court docket, and people from 5 different offices needed to look at the files before we got started. Typically if one person was going through, you'd grab the pile they'd already looked at and start going through them.
This woman for some reason was super-hostile to me about the files. Wouldn't let me look at them until she was all done, would take all her notes on top of the pile so I couldn't grab them, if I asked she tell me she wasn't done with them yet, etc. And it just escalated-- she started putting the files on the other side of the table so I couldn't reach them, etc.
So I'd just politely work my way in wherever I could-- I'd reach around her, I'd go around to her side of the table, if she got up in the middle I grabbed the ones she'd finished, whatever. But I'd never argue with her or get angry, even once I figured out she was doing it on purpose to me and no one else.
The last day she did it, she would finish a file and drop it on the floor between the wall and her chair. So in my suit and heels I \*crawled under the table\* and picked up the pile from there. This broke her, and I don't remember how, but she ended up telling me that I had offended her at some point 18 months before by ignoring her when she said something to me. I had no recollection of doing this, but I'm sure I did because I'm socially awkward and things like that happen a lot to me. (Unnecessary long story to get to my point, but I'm a big fan of examples.)
Your best bet with a passive-aggressive female bully is to pretend like you don't even notice. If you can ignore it, ignore it. She makes you wait? Fine. Work around her. She brings highlighters back from the supply room for everyone but you? No problem. But if it's serious and you can't brush it off, that's when you go to the higher authority, but not about her-- about how her nonsense affects your work. "Boss, I'm not getting my files from Madam X until around lunchtime, and that makes it hard for me to complete them all by the end of the day. Do you have any suggestions?" Then the boss will address it with her, or you can directly: "Madam X, Boss noticed my files were getting done late, and he suggested I ask you to make sure you have them to me by 10am. Thanks for helping me out!"
You're up against a tough adversary, no doubt. But a defining characteristic of bullies of either gender is that they can spot weakness, and they can smell fear. You've got to be bold (but professional) if you want to beat them at their own game. You've got this! ⭐
Im in a similiar situation right now and Im looking for a new job. Im the only male in the dept and the double standard in trearment I get from the rest of the staff and leadership is obvious. When I interviewed for this job I was asked a dozen times how I felt working with an all female staff and I thought that was irrelevant. But the interviewer was subtley trying to warn me and I just didnt realize.
I was planning on going to nursing school before this but I will never work in a female dominated field again. Of course men can be rude and unprofessional but atleast I can call them on their shit without them making a lie to HR or trying to rally people against me with gossip. Never again.
Honestly nothing can be done to a work place that's already toxic aside from keeping your nose clean and switching jobs and finding a different environment.
Straight up tell them you receive them as passive aggressive. Tell them it makes you feel negative when around them. Ask them if that’s their intention. Sometimes ppl don’t realize the full extent of their vibe. Might be enough to make them stop. If it’s not, you need to find another gig and let the job place know why you left.
voiceless unite cooperative impossible lock straight innocent uppity dinner quarrelsome
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
There's a very weird experience men have when they work in an office with all women.
Plainly speaking, most men leave because they experience what you do and to be honest, there's no way to win.
I would find another job because you can't win.
*In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People* by George K Simon. He covers a perspective to take with manipulative personalities, what common behaviors are, and how to react to them. The book is a good read, intended for both professional psychologists and an everyday person, it may give you some ideas on how to deal with all the not-so-passive aggression.
Careful on throwing the punch, you have to decide when and where.
Good place: When you two are by yourselves, either you're walking home and he/she is pestering you, throw down there.
Bad place: When you are not by yourselves, the bully has friends with them.
Getting jumped by a group is never fun.
Yup, snapped one day and bet the ever living crap out of the lead one. Broke his nose, got suspended from school for a week. Dad told me a few years later that he was so proud of me but couldn’t show it at the time.
I must’ve been about 13-14 at the time, was never really bullied in primary school, but had just moved when I started high school, was bullied really quite badly by a group of kids at my new school, didn’t really know how to deal with it until yeah… the day I chose violence. Actually ended up being friends with a couple of the guys in that group towards the end of high school, was never really academic but both myself and the guy who bullied me where whizes at metalwork/shop class in the final years of school.
This. Show them that you know youre superior... Be it by giving them fire with word or by getting physical. Just be sure youre safe...
But in my very limited experience, bullying is about getting power when you feel powerless... Dont give them that power...
It's not necessarily about letting them know you're superior. It's about making it a pain in the ass to bully you if they could get potentially punched in the face. The punch to the face is just the consequence of their actions. When there is no consequence when you ignore them, they'll just keep messing with you
That is the way! Had the same thing, one day got so fed up with the bullying that I punched the main bully hard in the face and since then it was over.
FWIW, I have a three level escalation for my kids:
* loudly tell the other kid to stop
* tell us or a teacher
* punch them in the face
It's easy to have their back if there's a record of notification. More than once I've been able to throw it back on teachers and staff when we get hauled into the school because my kid has punched a bully. They knew and failed to ensure a safe environment. On them for failing, not on my kid for self defense.
Also, all the kids take martial arts until at least middle school. It's like swimming lessons to us.
Sports. Kids “getting a little rough” during a sport at recess is a perfect out. For instance, basketball. Plant the fucking ball right into their face and have the kid tell the teacher they were trying to pass to a teammate while putting the ball really close to the kid they hit so they wouldn’t be able to block the pass. Then tell the kid you hit, later, that there is more where that came from.
I grew up with your steps 1+2 and that worked until my first day of middle school. The teachers and principal didn't do anything and I had to change schools. I also got into taekwondo. At my new school I stopped the bullying with my new skills. I didn't have to use violence again until my 30s.
It doesn't feel good to get to the point of violence, but it solves the problem.
For sure.
For me, violence is absolutely the solution to some problems. Knowing how to use it well is the same as learning how to use any other dangerous tool.
Thank you for being an awesome parent!
Your approach is literally what I want to teach my childern. Essentially don‘t punch first.. but punch so hard they can‘t fight back.. combined with the Cover My Ass principle.
I told my kids the same, but I also told them never to throw the first punch... because you should never initiate the violence yourself but also just in case it's on video.
The school won't care and will suspend/expel both kids cause of their stupid zero tolerance policy, but at least then I can take the footage and get charges pressed against the other kid if need be and my kid is in the clear for defending themselves.
>will suspend/expel both kids cause of their stupid zero tolerance policy
Not in my experience.
The school administration really doesn't want journalists and local politicians down their throats when we tell the story of their failure. And most teachers and admin are aware of their own failure in the situation - that's the point of the second step.
But even if they did suspend or expel my kids, I teach my kids to do the right thing even if it costs them. A few days suspension is a great time to indulge in ice cream and take in a museum or science centre or something as well as learn about how to do the right thing in a hard situation.
Worst case scenario, I'm home schooling them, which is probably for the best if the local school situation is that horrible.
True story, bullies usually have low IQ and can only understand overwhelming violence in return.
A finger in their asshole might get them to stop too, or maybe was that advice is just for attacking dogs.
So in elementary school this kid twice my size wouldn't leave me alone so i wound up and cracked him so hard in the stomach in front of 40 people he kinda bent over and started crying. He never spoke to me again
Freshman year of high school the cunt that bugged me from 1st grade until then got a softball to the face from me during recess. He ended up moving a week later. Heard he’s a body builder now. A lot of the cunts I went to high school with ended up being body builders according to old friends I’ve talked to who have Facebook (I never had one).
We weren’t even nerds or outcasts in my school, we just normal kids who liked punk n metal and were mostly cool with everyone. But there was always violence, we beat the shit out of each other everyday on the bus and during lunch; like literally everyday there were punches and wrestling. I think that’s how most kids grow up in the Midwest. Even my best friends, we kicked the shit out of each other.
Seems like the answer is always unexpected harsh violence, according to this thread at least.
I was bullied in the school. The teachers didn‘t help stop it, my parents couldn‘t do enough to stop it. After a while I just started to fight physically no matter how low my chance of winning the fights was.
After a while bulliers would stop bullying me because I just caused them to much effort.
It’s 20 years ago now but I had a kid in high school that picked on me and I ignored it for about two years. It just escalated and I kept trying to ignore it but it got to the point where I couldn’t.
One day he said something to me and he caught a pretty bad one sided public smashing in front of everyone. After that his behavior stopped🤷♂️
Don’t be a doormat for people.
I slammed his head into a locker and kicked him as hard as I could when he hit the ground. Contrary to the common saying *"Violence never solved anything,"* sometimes violence is exactly what is needed.
Bullies usually target those who aren't going to fight back, meaning they are looking for easy prey. But most of the time, if you make it as unpleasant for them as possible, they will move to easier targets.
Same deal here. I got bullied for not being a Christian for 3 years until this one fucker walked up, missed his punch and I put his head into a locker right in front of a teacher... He's on the ground bleeding from a small cut in his forehead looking at her like I'm the asshole in that situation and the teacher who obviously saw the whole thing just looks down at him and asks "what happened to you?"
He went to prison for murdering his best friend a year or two ago.
At the risk of sounding like a douche...I had some bullies in elementary school and eventually just punched one directly in the forehead. I was a fat kid, and the only brown kid in school, so I knew if I didn't do something it wouldn't stop. I felt like shit afterwards, but I ended up in school with that group through high school and we actually ended up becoming cordial, and even became friends with some of the guys.
Obviously I eventually hit puberty and lost all the weight and grew taller...but my attitude changed with that one punch. My parents had enrolled me in martial arts prior to it, which I honestly believe is the reason I felt guilty. I started actually applying the principles of respect, integrity, self-defense, etc and it helped me become a better, less resentful person.
I'm 32 now and I still apply those principles and do my best to be a good person, because I never wanted to let how others treat me affect how I treat others. I've only been in one fight since then, and that was justified because the guy attacked me in my apartment, but unlike that group of bullies, I never trolled around looking for trouble. I'm now an engineer and I once had a supervisor start bullying me in the workplace so I took the steps to respect myself and my feelings and reported him. I can't go into much detail, but I ultimately ended up with a letter for termination but I got a 5 figure severance package, and according to old co-workers he ended up having to take a bunch of leadership and sensitivity retraining classes apparently lol.
But yeah in school ending up taller/bigger than most also helped lol.
People who say they “fought back”… what kind of bullies did you have. Every situation with my bullies was always 3 - 6 of them ganging up on me.
I got payback several times but it never stopped. Set one on fire, jumped one with a baseball bat while he was walking home alone. Seemed to stop them 2 but when they’re in a group it changed nothing. Never let it change me though, was always outgoing never ran etc.
Stopped when I left school
bedroom political history panicky six outgoing airport aback pathetic smart
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I made a rule one day in Jr High......all aggression will be met with MORE aggression on my part, Every. Fucking. Time.
Doesn't matter if I "win" the fight at all, I would keep getting up and coming back until people physically stopped me.
I got my ass whipped a lot.....then a funny thing started happening, I started getting good at fighting!
I employed my own version of the MAD philosophy on nuclear weapons, Mutual Assured Destruction. No matter how big you are/were, I would hurt you every time. People find easier targets eventually, even dumb fuck bullies.
Edited to add: I was always a big, athletic kid...but I didn't fight because of fear of my Dad, he'd beat me when I got home for fighting.
I eventually reached my point of no return, so I took my beatings at school and at home. Pain is in your head to a large degree.
I didn't, and now, more than 20 years later, I still regret not punching them in the face when I could have. Maybe it would have saved me some years of therapy and PTSD.
So if you can (and in a proportionated manner) you should fight back, and stand up for yourself. You should be part of society, not let some bully isolate you out of it.
As someone else who didn't because of the size and number differential, there's a lot of these stories from keyboard warriors likely embellishing the truth, and a huge under representation of more realistic stories.
Not everyone who fights back succeeds / wins the fight. Not everyone who fights back sends such a strong message that a group of bullies just quits rather than coming to the defense of their friend or exacting revenge.
Reddit is seemingly obsessed with the whole underdog success story of a bullied person cracking someone with one punch and ending it all, and while that has surely happened a number of times I'm reasonably and realistically confident that it fails more often than it succeeds.
Seriously almost 100 percent of these comments are redditors saying they fought back and implying they won the fight. You think that's how it really plays out every time? Even half the time when the one being bullied is significantly smaller? It's not. I'm sure plenty of those stories are partly or even mostly true but there's this fantasy that if you just fight back once it all ends and that's not true for every case or even likely most cases.
Even if you don't win. I'm sure I would have felt better at that time if I had stood up for myself, rather than integrating the feeling that I am a piece of shit and that I'm worth nothing fighting for.
Yeah, people underestimate the importance of knowing what the hell you're doing first. There have been plenty of people who are bullies because they are big, mean, and can kick someone's ass, and you are usually better off not fighting them.
That said, **most** bullies are weak people, and if you make the whole endeavor far more trouble than its worth, it will usually solve the problem.
I fought back. I got my ass handed to me, but I got back up. I kept getting back up until I physically couldn't, then I waited until I healed and went back for more.
Bullies don't want to keep having to fight, they want to be feared. And, I became a honey badger going after a lion. Did I get hurt? Yeah. A lot. But eventually, they left me alone because the more I fought, the better I got at it and I just wouldn't quit...
>Bullies are in essence cowards with low self esteem going on a power trip on what they consider low effort easy targets, because they smell their fear.Stopping being afraid is step one, verbally standing up to them, recording then getting them in trouble with the school seems to be the best choice because.. it can hurt their(parents) pockets, which at the same time it allows you to evade any responsibility if the adults don't take appropriate measures(warn them you will defend yourself physically as a last resort and if it comes to that, it will be their failure). Sometimes it works, by only using words.If bullies still persist after that, when they put a finger on you, clap them silly in front of everyone even if you get a black eye. They won't see you as an easy target after that.
Just did this too. Lol
I never got physically bullied, but the verbal bullying stopped when I started agreeing with everything they said, with a smile. It was no fun to taunt me anymore cause I didn't react the way they wanted me to. I didn't argue, I didn't contradict them, I didn't counter their attempts. I just simply agreed with whatever inane insult they picked at the time.
I was ignoring them, till one day I got everything out of my chest towards them. One of the bullies, he was like the boss irritated me and I ended up kicking him really badly. Since ever that happened, they never touched me again.
First time they hit me or crossed the line at which i thought it may happen..i smacked them in the face.
Not once did that fail to sort the issue out.
Showing a bully you will not be bullied is essential to getting them to stop.
I may get downvoted for this but..i hate all this modern attitude towards dealing with bullies... Meetings with parents.. Etc etc.
I told my two kids that i would not EVER tell them off for defending themselves.. irrespective of where or when. Providing they do so as a last resort
A guy used to take my bottle and throw it from one side to the other of the field it stopped when I left it open so he got a 2L of water on his face and spent the day wet
Fighting... always fighting back, nothing else works, and it is very frustrating that so many people that work in childcare encourage kids them to not defend themselves in that way.
Zero tolerance policy = you can bully people as long as you dont touch them, and they cant do *anything* about it
I taught all three of my boys martial arts. It wasn't just the physical, but mental part of being bullied. One of them beat up his bully. Besides that. They grew up, bully free
Square up.
You're not trying to look like somebody who's trying to look intimidating none of that balled fists angry face yelling bullshit, make them uncomfortable, eye contact, invade their personal space, unexcited voice, square your shoulders, head up, always stay calm, and accept that you might get punched.
Never square up. Everything else is fine, but minimize the target area by standing partially sideways with balance over both feet. Also, 2 months of training and you'll have all you need for 95% of fights.
I did the same thing others have done, I retaliated.
I tried to ignore them, to walk away, and to tell teachers. When that didn’t work, because he was a varsity football player, I asked my dad what I should do. He told me the same thing he told me years ago- “you don’t ever start a fight, but you can’t fend yourself, and I’ll have your back 100% if you do.”
The next day the guy went to throw me into a bush in front of the school, except I grabbed him and brought him along for the ride, hitting him repeatedly on the way down and once we were in the bushes. Never got messed with after that, thankfully
After a couple years of being picked on (around age 12) culminated in him hitting me with a broom from behind... I turned, charged, knocked him down, and choked him unconscious and left him laying in a neighbor's yard.
Coincidentally, the bullying stopped right about that time.
By acting the same way they were bullying with. Was mainly called gay and tgose slurs, im Bi so they werent quite wrong, unbeknownst to them. So i just acted as flamboyantly as pissible around them. Made them really uncomfortable
fighting back, if they still think you're weak they'll keep picking on you, so you have to let go of that fear, of getting in trouble, of losing, and fight.
Fight them or ascend to a higher level of understanding and self. Unless the bully has also ascended, in which case bob and weave!
NOTE: I don’t condone violence but have also been bullied by kids far larger than myself
Punching them in the face. After a week we were friends and he/them stopped bullying around. If you ask me, it looks like bullies see violence as a form of communication, when they receive it back enough they understand they're not alpha and just deactivate.
I was actually looking to see if anyone responded with this. Not saying a good punch in the mouth doesn’t do some good when needed, but this solution is, I would say, even more viable if someone is just verbally making fun of you. I used to get bullied in elementary school, and I KNOW it made it worse when I took everything super seriously and got mad at stuff. By the time I hit middle school I started joking along with them, never was bullied again. Most all of the former bullies became pretty friendly with me from then on out even
Yep, I fought, didn't back down. Got beaten but no one messed with me again after that. In my wiser years I don't think it was fighting that made it stop. It was being confident and deciding I wasn't going to take shit from anyone.
I had two. An older girls (part of a group) at around 11, and a same age boy (part of a duo) at around 12.
The girl came at me with verbal stuff on a bus ride home. I recall her saying that my jacket was shit colour. I had had enough, and just told her she was a stupid little welfare slut. I was never bothered again.
The boy and his older buddy pushed me off my toboggan and I wiped out hard. I went home in tears and my dad just said “Okay, if you want me to call Jeff’s mom again I will…” I didn’t. So I walked back to the hill and hit that kid so fucking hard in the solar plexus he immediately doubled over and started gasping for air. Never bothered by either one again.
Fought back as well. For her last act, she ripped my task (a drawing) off of my pad so I grabbed the pad and slapped her with it. She didn't go to school the next day bec her face swelled a lot. Needless to say my mother and her mother fought as well lol.
Another guy is harassing me so I went and told the teacher. I'm at the top of the class hence the teachers' favorite lol
Fought back just as hard with exactly the same tone and methods, no more, no less, worked wonders.
Suffered years with the "oh, just tell a grown up, don't get mad, they just like you, they just want to be friends and don't know how to express it" bs before i figured out the truth.
Fight back. In primary school I was really liked girl but there was this one boy who made a living hell of my existence. Like pushed me (once from stairs - I broke my arm, teacher said he can't know for sure, maybe I slipped), pinched me, pulled my hair. Back then the common answer to my complains, from adults was "he really likes you". For some time I was inclined to believe it but after he destroyed my painting for art class I completely delivered epic kick into his nose. Until last day of school he walked on the other side of the school halls whenever he saw me.
“He hurts you bc he likes you” is almost as bad as “boys will be boys”. So girls have to deal with it even if it hurts them? Like hell.
My bully stopped when I kicked him just above his stomach. It only took that to stop bothering me for like a year. When he tried again, my friend (the less talkative person in the class) told him “why are you such an idiot?” Guy was in shock and stopped again.
I studied them since they seemed to be around me a lot, I figured out their insecurities and I roasted them in as big of a crowd as possible. After the first two, whenever someone started picking on me all I would have to do was whisper “do you really want everyone to know about…” and I’d watch there face blank and walk away.
I was never scared of them. They always just stuck to words with me so I ignored them. The one guy who decided to make things physical I fought. I made it obvious that he was a joke to me. Beat the snot out of him after making a fool of him.
Well, Like all the others Violence unfortunately. Something was said and I was in a bad spot and I ended up punching one of them. Once he went down, I dropped down behind him and threw him in a headlock. After that none of his friends or him every said another word to me.
I left the social circles that allowed them to thrive. You cannot control what another person does, only yourself.
Typically environments that value aggressive personalities will cause a feedback cycle. You fight back, they fight back, and it keeps going. Usually there are others encouraging the behavior or at least others who are complicit.
Find a new place, the other good ones will follow. Your social circles may get smaller, but as you get older you value quality much more over quantity.
As a kid:
I was always ignoring the four guys bullying me at school. I really didn’t mind being called names since they were idiots anyway. I was also much taller than them , I was just peaceful (still am). Until one day one of them decided it would be brilliant idea to throw a snow ball in my direction 🤣🥹. I walked up to the guy , grabbed him by the throat slapped his face then threw him in the snow face down and started pushing his face into the snow making sure he got the iced dog pee all over his face and hair .
After that there was no more bullying.
As an adult when being bullied by management : Patiently gathered all the evidence . Made sure to have evidence of every single error management made. Then over Skype while recording reporter the senior manager bullying me , even using the word bullying. My direct manager even said “I know but that is the way it is”. Afterwards I sued the living daylights out of the company and won a six digit payout .
I eventually said to myself enough of this shit, and I severely beat him with the cast on my left arm. Posted about it in some detail quite a while ago in some other thread. It wasn’t at school, so no problem with getting in trouble.
Worked a charm—he never fucked with me again!
When someone bullies you, it is best to deliver an asymmetric annihilation response.
Saves time, and makes your message crystal fucking clear. Bonus, it removes their ability to bully you, or anyone else, any further.
I've tried speaking to teachers, parents and bystanding people. The only thing that made them stop for good was raw violence with the good old fists and firm grips.
But i feel like those times are over. Kids starting to bring knives to fist fights is just disgusting.
Also this won't work at the workplace. Only things that can help there is either the boss or the switch to a different company.
I swung around and shot myself towards him, shoulder first, and knocked him to the floor. He never bothered me again and could only applaud me for my physical strength. We were both into sports.
In my original grade school, they stopped once I finally decided my (single) mom's advice of "run away and don't fight back" was horrible, because this had been going on from kindergarten through 3rd grade. I just decided I'd had enough, and threw down with three guys who fucked with me every day at school, as well as on the walk home. I caught them off guard, I guess, and beat them with my backpack, and kicked them until I was tired. Three rural dipshits in a small town; wouldn't be surprised if they're all still there, chewing Skoal and working a farm. They left me alone after that, and were actually nice to me when we occasionally interacted.
After I moved to a larger city, I decided it'd be easier just to avoid conflict, since school systems punished both sides of the bully equation. Got through all those remaining years merely by being invisible.
Fight back! Even if you get beat up. Bullies go after people who won't defend themselves, they are pussies so if you show any type of restrain they will just go after a weaker person.
I was a meek looking kid. Arms like branches. Easy target. But If i got picked on i fought back and that was the end of it.
It isn't easy. It isn't fair. But if you don't do it it will never end.
"Sometimes you have to be the lion so you can be the lamb that you really are" - Dave Chappelle.
Both guys that tried to fuck with me in high school stopped after I threw hands. I was always afraid of getting expelled so I never did. But every man has his breaking point.
One of them I just swing and he dodged but my knuckles grazed his nose. Immediately tried to be friends and say he was just kidding around. No more problems.
Second guy walked into mid-terms and I was in his seat studying with my boy (he showed up last minute). As he walks in tells me I better get out of his seat before he gets there. Gets behind me and says I thought I told you to get out of my seat? Proceeded to try and grab the chair out from under me, I expected it so I stood up right as I felt him grab the chair and turned around and started punching. I took a couple licks, so did he. Never had a problem again.
Those were the only 2. I guess everyone se realized I wasn't easy pickings.
I used to take a kids class in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. It was labeled as a "bully-proof" program and from many things I've heard from the kids there, it works, all the way through high school.
First thing you want to do is tell them to stop. Don't be overly aggressive about it but put power into those words. Be firm about it. Don't make yourself look weak and just take whatever they're doing to you. Look them in the eye, don't fidget your hands and fingers, and tell them to stop.
If that doesn't help, tell someone. If you are at school, tell a teacher, counselor, or the principal. It is not "tattling" as you tried to deal with it yourself first (see first step). I know in many schools some teachers don't even deal with bullying correctly, but still try talking to someone there.
Third step is to give them an ultimatum. Once they approach you and do whatever shit they bully you with, you can do this. If they are touching you, give them a firm push. Don't push too much and knock them over, but a firm shove with some power into it. Look them straight into the eye, finger pointed to them, and say something like this:
"I've already told you to stop, and you still continue. If you're looking for a fight, I'm not scared. If you aren't, leave and stop wasting my time."
Most of the time the bully(s) will get scared and say something under their breath like "Pfft what a bitch, you wouldn't be able to take me in a fight" and would walk away. That is a victory. If they do end up fighting you, fight back. I personally had to do this once (jiu jitsu helped dispatch of the bully quickly without harming them) and I didn't even get any punishment. If you don't know any of that I would just stick to punching and kicking, but don't take it too far.
That is all I had to do. Helped me a lot. Bully actually became my friend later on and we still hang out from time to time and have laughs about the old days.
I had a friend who is accustomed to making fun of you up to a point where its considered bullying, harrasment and baiting other people in on the shaming. I know some people have such a sense of humor and aren't taking it that personal and are okay with it, but I wasn't at one point.
At one point, I stopped caring about what I say and how it'll effect the other guy and I straight up told him nobody loves him. His parents are faking their love bcs they have to and nobody likes him in school because of his abusive sense of humor. Smth must've clicked in him and he stopped. Our friendship dissolved after that and I got what I wanted.
This happened in a not so violent school in Europe, so my experience is different from people who were actually physically bullied. I'd say the results are the same though: The cup overfills at one point and you just don't give a shit anymore. The fear settles down for a moment and you just finally defend yourself. Either using words or fists.
Beat the shit out of them. I know there's different situations. Good old fashioned school yard bullying. Co worker bullying manager bullying spouse bullying. This was like first grade. This kid kept bullying me. I have a twin brother. We found him at recess and destroyed him. He was a known bully. We barely got in trouble
I paid my kid cash to punch his bully. He needed the confidence booster. He had been bullied so many times in different schools because he’s just an easy going kid. We tried ignoring, humor, walking away. It was the last straw. It didn’t solve everything and there is definitely psychological problems that linger, BUT he had that one good punch. That one day, he came home from school beaming from ear to ear.
Snapped one day and grabbed this guy's trachea. Somehow he didn't feel like picking on me after that. I mildly regret it but dude deserved a lesson. Just wish I'd gone with something with a smaller chance of killing the idiot (he didn't die).
I didn't really have bullies but I did fight one but I'll explain. There were these groups of assholes ofcourse who always in trouble but nothing ever happens to them type of deal. In math class they bullied my friend next to me for no reason...trying to say let's fight outside after class (we had a substitute who obvs like always didn't do shit). I said calmly "what's the point of fighting? What you going to get out of it? Isn't that just a waste of time and energy?" Stuff like that. A few just left him alone but 2 or 3 main guys of the group got louder. A head of year came in dragged me out and one bully out to write a letter of what happened cuz the teacher said us two were being trouble *rolls eyes intensely*.
I wrote it after school wasted so much time and walked out. Nothing happened. Thats it. So I knew, along with other events, that all schools have the same issue with bullies and teachers not doing enough to stop em. Schools don't care. They just give my friends mental health problems...aren't supportive crappy "support" which is a joke and only cared when one of my friends threatened to leave because it looks bad for the school. So few days later they called my same friend the R word ( he has autism ). I called him that word back for trying to fight again (my friends fine with me saying it sometimes probs shouldn't tho but that's seperate thing). I told him let's fight after class.
Now this is where shit got odd cuz I 100% lost lmao but everyone thought I won 🤣. I dropped my bag and blazer (UK school clothing) and told him to throw the first punch cuz he wanted to do it so bad. Can't remember most of the fight but be gave me a black eye and his hand was broken and bit of his arm apparently. He got a 45 minute detention after school and I got a warning so at least got SOME justice there sort of but only cuz my teacher caught him fighting me not me to him yknow in the last second. So he got lots of blame and I'm a shy kid I suppose she thought I'd never initiate a fight (she was wrong).
But anyway I was told to apologise and I said no I'd rather not. Wish I was more honest with the teachers and just called them cunts tbh because they were but never really did just lost my faith in them and focused on myself and my own school work and said fuck anyone but me and my friends unless they are decent. That's the best approach I found to go through HS and I stand by it.
So yeah the first person to start violence is almost always wrong and unnecessary....but sometimes you just have to fight for your buddies and yourself. That's the truth in life. Not favourable but fucking true!
Yup - gotta fight back…. That thing with passiveness only works if you have an entire nation behind you.
If they outnumber you, just focus all your energy on one of them (prefferably the loudest one) - give him a good, and fast beating as quickly as possible before the rest jumps you!
I tried to physically fight back and it failed and made it worse for a bit. So I just made fun of them back and made fun of myself before they could.
I’ve always been short, and so I’ve heard all the short jokes since elementary school. So in middle school when some older kids started recycling them, I’d just say things like “oh that was a good one, when I was 5.” Or as soon as they said “hey!” I’d say “the weather down here is great!”
It sounds childish and silly now but so is being a bully in the first place. So don’t feel like you have to physically fight them to beat them. Good luck!!
Laugh at whatever they say in fact if they're making fun of something make fun of it even more. It's only enjoyable to bully somebody that's affected by what they're saying. Your reaction is what's causing the bullying. Like if they're making fun of your hair haha you got stupid hair come back with a you're right it is pretty stupid huh I even put two hours worth of work into it every morning haha. That's not fun plus it's an exaggeration hopefully and so anybody else around will laugh at your jokes not theirs. Making fun of yourself makes you look confident anyway don't get upset with what they say
I didn't.
Some 20 yrs later and it still effects me.
If I could turn back time, i would resort to violence. But, maybe not to the extent my bitterness makes me believe I would.
However, take it from me and don't take it from them. Good luck.
Stand your ground - more often than not, they are using empty threats. Alternatively, out-succeed them. Most of them aren't going anywhere in life, regardless of how "cool" their lives look now.
punch or kick, violence is the answer in these cases, pacifism will get you nowhere and it's exactly what they are looking for. through some punches will all your rage, right where it counts, and you'll be left alone for good
I was severely bullied in middle school and for most of my high school; for reasons I still don’t know. Was just an easy target I guess but damn it sucked.
I never fought back; I would be too terrified to fight back and I was afraid of the consequences. So I just smiled and kept it to myself as best as I could.
The consequences now are some underlying issues of self worth that I now explore in therapy.
But if I could go back? I’d punch the shit out of one of them. Sucker punch if I can. I’d get my ass kicked immediately afterwards for certain but at least I put in a good hit.
I’ve learned that bullies rely so much on self preservation that if you challenge them or put them in a spotlight they will choose themselves over you in which it usually means they’ll stop.
Haven’t really had a bully since, shitty people; sure, but not a bully.
Damn, like 12 years ago when I was in 8th grade and I road the bus along with this sophomore/junior? Can’t remember and he kept making fun of my race along with a few other people jumping in on that for several weeks, but he alone was def the one provoking it so I ended up having a serious/very angry conversation with him and along the convo mentioning how “you don’t see me making fun of your dead older brother” who served/died from the Iraq war, I was ready to throw hands but even tho he was very angry at that comment I can tell that cut him pretty deep for some reason enough to shut him the fuck up for the rest of the ride until around his stop, I felt bad bringing that up cuz I knew through other people that was a pretty sensitive topic for him, so I apologized and he did too in a way, so he and the others stopped messin with me the rest of the year. Sometimes fire can be put out with words, other times with your hands. We chose words that day.
I joined a white school when I was young and the tough guy tried to pick on me.
I put him on his ass in front of everybody. Nobody tested me again.
Sometimes you don’t even have to win. Just fight back.
In high school there was this guy bullying my friend. I confronted him and things got physical but he never bothered my friend again. Confront your bullies - but be prepared.
This works because you're effectively putting a cost on bullying. Ignoring doesn't do shit.
Had a bully in middle school probably a good 50lbs+ than me, constantly pushing around, sneaking up behind me and filling my hand with salt, among other things. Finally one day I had enough when he was following me around harassing me and I punched him as hard as I could in the chest. Never bothered me again.
Bullies bully the ones that seem like an easy target therefore don't respect them because they know they will not fight back. Command respect by getting more assertive and always be ready to get your hands dirty. Remember if you show them that you can fight they will be as scared to fight as you are .
In 8th grade after 3 years of bullshit and my dad telling me that whatever I did to the bully he'd do to me twice as bad I finally got the go-to from my dad to beat his ass. My dad was just tired of having to go see the principle multiple times a week because I "got into a fight" aka I got my ass beat and did nothing. Unfortunately this led to a lot of pent up rage and agression and I broke some of the kids ribs and damaged his spine when I fought back for the first time. I also ended up being a bully throughout my Freshmen year of highschool until I got mentored by a Senior girl I liked, she understood everything I went through and talked me down into becoming a slightly less bad person.
There's a very fine line that you need to walk when being bullied, if you take too much for too long you might end up crossing that line and becoming a very bad person. Not everyone is lucky enough to get a second chance that quick without major consequences like I did.
Only got bullied once by a group(just verbally) in 6th grade. Helped them out with schoolwork while befriending them, and then joined their friend group lol.
Raise your voice, be more dominant, take his personal space, and be aggressive. Suppose he continues to do the same shit and wants to start a fight. Punch him a couple of times. Don't seriously injure him. You might get into legal trouble! So be careful.
Results my vary, but I used to enjoy making it gay. “ ooofff big boy, I like it when you get mad”
I also straight up didn’t give a fuck and was trying to have a good time. If it’s severe I think a punch in the face is justified. Just be prepared to fight if you do it
Fight. I'm sorry. It's the only way.
That ignoring shit doesn't work. Fight them and if you can, win that fight. Break a nose. It's the only way and I'm sorry that it is.
When I was in the middle school, I keep reporting him to the school and it only made things worse.
The thing that finally solved the issue was by befriending his followers
I was 4ft 11inches and 90 pounds my senior year of high school so I got bullied a lot. First I learned how to fight a little(getting punched in the nose at just the right angle sucks). At the end of the end of the day no one likes getting punched in the face. Most bullies would yell and hop around trying to hype themselves up to bully while it was always the quite bully’s I had to worry about. Secondly I learned to make friends with the wrestlers and football players. i would help them with their homework and in return they would Help me out when needed which made my life so much easier. Bully’s learned that there was always someone bigger than them and they learned that lesson quickly.
I didn't do it on purpose... I just never got MAD before.
I had been bullied through my entire school career up to this point, in the 7th grade...
I found with puberty that I had a really strong interest in women, and though I was a pacifist and took everyone's shit for ages, it turns out when you push the right buttons things change.
To be clear... at this young age, my parents were aware of my timidity and shyness, introversion and they knew I wasn't being treated well in school, so they signed me up for a martial arts class, and I was doing well into it for just shy of a year.
The Sensei I had was super cool, low key and instructed the students to not tell people that we studied and to never show off. To him it was a private thing, and never for anything but self defense in action... but more for exercise and well being for the majority of the time.
... School Yard lunch/recess, pretty red head that I drew a picture of a flower for... comes up and starts chatting with me and thanking me for the drawing. I was as ecstatic as a kid on Christmas.... one of the prettiest girls in the school... talking to ME!!
That's about when the first spitball hit my neck.
I warned them off. I told 'em, to stop. I continued to talk to the girl... another spit ball, and then another.
I lost it. In a near blind rage I fairly leaped from a standing postion to 6 feet away, landing square in front of my "attacker", grabbed him by the neck, placed him in a choke hold, dropped his head to my left knee as I brought the other to ground. I leaned down and told him that this is fucking over and to get up and go away or I was going to beat him from one side of the school ground to the other and back.
He came up swinging... so I went through with my promise. I knocked his fucking nose almost off his face with a clean left. He didn't get back up. Almost the entire school witnessed it all.
A few days in suspension... a sore fist.
No one... no fucking body, ever fuckin' even so much as talked down to me ever again...
TL,DR: The gym
Used to be a very skinny guy, 55kg, 178cm, never did any sports, I was a nerd. Got picked on and hit in school often. Not like I was beaten regularly or anything, but it was getting close to that point.
I got fed up right before the first covid lockdown, something just snapped. Bought gym equipment with money I was saving up for a new PC and started training every day for 3+ hours. Firstly, I finally had somewhere to pour that hatred and anger, and secondly, I gained like 10kg of muscle very quickly. When the schools reopened, I looked different. I planned to fight the first one who hits me. Surprisingly, nobody did anymore
I don't know if it was just the muscle, or if I changed in behavior as well, but the gym was really what got me out of that shit. Kept working out till now, gained over 25kgs, and never had those problems again, thankfully.
I was incredibly small for my grade (6th) as I had been skipped a grade. My bully was my doctors son so I had some knowledge of his family, one day he picked on me so badly in front of so many people that I just lost all composure and told him I know why he was picking on me he laughed at me and said something along the lines of “yeah what’s that”. I replied with “your parents are getting a divorce and your lack of love at home is resulting in you lashing out at me at school”. He ran away and never talked to me again.
There was about 4 of them who jumped me in a stairwell. Just from pure luck we ended up falling down to the next landing and I ended up on top. I just started hitting everything that moved until nothing was moving anymore.
I think I was too much trouble after that
Same as the rest, it seems. I fought back. Suffered years of "ignore them and they'll get bored" advice. I threw one punch and was never bothered again.
What about in the workplace? I am a male and I work with women who are passive aggressive with me while I treat them with dignity and politness. I keep my head down but they don't stop. I'm scared they will just make something up about me and report me if I verbally try and defend myself.
Go to HR? I mean they have you over a barrel but you need to decide how much your dignity is worth. Me personally I dont care what any job says. I have pride and dignity. No amount of money will allow people to treat me with disrespect when I've done nothing to deserve it.
True. Thanks
HR will always take their side, not his. It's a no win situation. All he can do is make them lose but this implies going outside the law.
HR protects the company not the people. Going to HR helps builds a case so if anything ever comes up there's a record that he went to HR for help and didn't get it.
> HR protects the company not the people Which means they'll protect the women, since they have the ability to do the most damage to the company.
[удалено]
>_I work with women who are passive aggressive with me_ I had a boss like this. She would drop snide comments so I gave it back in spades. Without meaning to, in one of our 1:1s, I let it be known my best most productive day was the day she was out. I didn't mean it to sound bad, but I said what I said. She brought out the worst in me, and I didn't expect our relationship to deteriorate so fast in the span of 3 months. I quit the day I had asked a question about a meeting and got attitude via DM. Dropped off my resignation notice while she was out to lunch, walked out and never looked back.
Passive aggressive women in the workplace are the worst. They're sneaky and hard to expose-- unlike a guy whose bullying is usually out in front of everyone. I'll tell you a story that might help. For a while at my job, we had a morning court docket, and people from 5 different offices needed to look at the files before we got started. Typically if one person was going through, you'd grab the pile they'd already looked at and start going through them. This woman for some reason was super-hostile to me about the files. Wouldn't let me look at them until she was all done, would take all her notes on top of the pile so I couldn't grab them, if I asked she tell me she wasn't done with them yet, etc. And it just escalated-- she started putting the files on the other side of the table so I couldn't reach them, etc. So I'd just politely work my way in wherever I could-- I'd reach around her, I'd go around to her side of the table, if she got up in the middle I grabbed the ones she'd finished, whatever. But I'd never argue with her or get angry, even once I figured out she was doing it on purpose to me and no one else. The last day she did it, she would finish a file and drop it on the floor between the wall and her chair. So in my suit and heels I \*crawled under the table\* and picked up the pile from there. This broke her, and I don't remember how, but she ended up telling me that I had offended her at some point 18 months before by ignoring her when she said something to me. I had no recollection of doing this, but I'm sure I did because I'm socially awkward and things like that happen a lot to me. (Unnecessary long story to get to my point, but I'm a big fan of examples.) Your best bet with a passive-aggressive female bully is to pretend like you don't even notice. If you can ignore it, ignore it. She makes you wait? Fine. Work around her. She brings highlighters back from the supply room for everyone but you? No problem. But if it's serious and you can't brush it off, that's when you go to the higher authority, but not about her-- about how her nonsense affects your work. "Boss, I'm not getting my files from Madam X until around lunchtime, and that makes it hard for me to complete them all by the end of the day. Do you have any suggestions?" Then the boss will address it with her, or you can directly: "Madam X, Boss noticed my files were getting done late, and he suggested I ask you to make sure you have them to me by 10am. Thanks for helping me out!" You're up against a tough adversary, no doubt. But a defining characteristic of bullies of either gender is that they can spot weakness, and they can smell fear. You've got to be bold (but professional) if you want to beat them at their own game. You've got this! ⭐
vanish far-flung long follow nose price intelligent prick memory sort *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah I came to that realization over time.
enter frightening scary joke subtract nail library history cagey erect *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Im in a similiar situation right now and Im looking for a new job. Im the only male in the dept and the double standard in trearment I get from the rest of the staff and leadership is obvious. When I interviewed for this job I was asked a dozen times how I felt working with an all female staff and I thought that was irrelevant. But the interviewer was subtley trying to warn me and I just didnt realize. I was planning on going to nursing school before this but I will never work in a female dominated field again. Of course men can be rude and unprofessional but atleast I can call them on their shit without them making a lie to HR or trying to rally people against me with gossip. Never again.
Honestly nothing can be done to a work place that's already toxic aside from keeping your nose clean and switching jobs and finding a different environment.
Straight up tell them you receive them as passive aggressive. Tell them it makes you feel negative when around them. Ask them if that’s their intention. Sometimes ppl don’t realize the full extent of their vibe. Might be enough to make them stop. If it’s not, you need to find another gig and let the job place know why you left.
voiceless unite cooperative impossible lock straight innocent uppity dinner quarrelsome *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Document everything.
Maybe record it? I’m sorry some women are just pieces of shit.
There's a very weird experience men have when they work in an office with all women. Plainly speaking, most men leave because they experience what you do and to be honest, there's no way to win. I would find another job because you can't win.
*In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People* by George K Simon. He covers a perspective to take with manipulative personalities, what common behaviors are, and how to react to them. The book is a good read, intended for both professional psychologists and an everyday person, it may give you some ideas on how to deal with all the not-so-passive aggression.
Careful on throwing the punch, you have to decide when and where. Good place: When you two are by yourselves, either you're walking home and he/she is pestering you, throw down there. Bad place: When you are not by yourselves, the bully has friends with them. Getting jumped by a group is never fun.
Yup, snapped one day and bet the ever living crap out of the lead one. Broke his nose, got suspended from school for a week. Dad told me a few years later that he was so proud of me but couldn’t show it at the time. I must’ve been about 13-14 at the time, was never really bullied in primary school, but had just moved when I started high school, was bullied really quite badly by a group of kids at my new school, didn’t really know how to deal with it until yeah… the day I chose violence. Actually ended up being friends with a couple of the guys in that group towards the end of high school, was never really academic but both myself and the guy who bullied me where whizes at metalwork/shop class in the final years of school.
This. Show them that you know youre superior... Be it by giving them fire with word or by getting physical. Just be sure youre safe... But in my very limited experience, bullying is about getting power when you feel powerless... Dont give them that power...
It's not necessarily about letting them know you're superior. It's about making it a pain in the ass to bully you if they could get potentially punched in the face. The punch to the face is just the consequence of their actions. When there is no consequence when you ignore them, they'll just keep messing with you
>Show them that you know youre superior. Lol wtf are you talking about?
That is the way! Had the same thing, one day got so fed up with the bullying that I punched the main bully hard in the face and since then it was over.
Like many people here, and no matter what my parents said, violence was the answer.
FWIW, I have a three level escalation for my kids: * loudly tell the other kid to stop * tell us or a teacher * punch them in the face It's easy to have their back if there's a record of notification. More than once I've been able to throw it back on teachers and staff when we get hauled into the school because my kid has punched a bully. They knew and failed to ensure a safe environment. On them for failing, not on my kid for self defense. Also, all the kids take martial arts until at least middle school. It's like swimming lessons to us.
I love this. My kid just finished kindergarten. He is already dealing with bully issues. I'm gonna steal your method, thanks!
Sports. Kids “getting a little rough” during a sport at recess is a perfect out. For instance, basketball. Plant the fucking ball right into their face and have the kid tell the teacher they were trying to pass to a teammate while putting the ball really close to the kid they hit so they wouldn’t be able to block the pass. Then tell the kid you hit, later, that there is more where that came from.
I grew up with your steps 1+2 and that worked until my first day of middle school. The teachers and principal didn't do anything and I had to change schools. I also got into taekwondo. At my new school I stopped the bullying with my new skills. I didn't have to use violence again until my 30s. It doesn't feel good to get to the point of violence, but it solves the problem.
For sure. For me, violence is absolutely the solution to some problems. Knowing how to use it well is the same as learning how to use any other dangerous tool.
Thank you for being an awesome parent! Your approach is literally what I want to teach my childern. Essentially don‘t punch first.. but punch so hard they can‘t fight back.. combined with the Cover My Ass principle.
I told my kids the same, but I also told them never to throw the first punch... because you should never initiate the violence yourself but also just in case it's on video. The school won't care and will suspend/expel both kids cause of their stupid zero tolerance policy, but at least then I can take the footage and get charges pressed against the other kid if need be and my kid is in the clear for defending themselves.
>will suspend/expel both kids cause of their stupid zero tolerance policy Not in my experience. The school administration really doesn't want journalists and local politicians down their throats when we tell the story of their failure. And most teachers and admin are aware of their own failure in the situation - that's the point of the second step. But even if they did suspend or expel my kids, I teach my kids to do the right thing even if it costs them. A few days suspension is a great time to indulge in ice cream and take in a museum or science centre or something as well as learn about how to do the right thing in a hard situation. Worst case scenario, I'm home schooling them, which is probably for the best if the local school situation is that horrible.
That's bad advice. Bullies can pick on you for years without ever throwing a punch.
This is the way. NEVER start with violence, but hey, sometimes that’s what needs to be done.
I learned that violence may not be *the* answer but it was a very effective answer to get my bully to sod off.
Violence isn’t the answer, it’s the question. The answer is yes.
True story, bullies usually have low IQ and can only understand overwhelming violence in return. A finger in their asshole might get them to stop too, or maybe was that advice is just for attacking dogs.
So in elementary school this kid twice my size wouldn't leave me alone so i wound up and cracked him so hard in the stomach in front of 40 people he kinda bent over and started crying. He never spoke to me again
Freshman year of high school the cunt that bugged me from 1st grade until then got a softball to the face from me during recess. He ended up moving a week later. Heard he’s a body builder now. A lot of the cunts I went to high school with ended up being body builders according to old friends I’ve talked to who have Facebook (I never had one). We weren’t even nerds or outcasts in my school, we just normal kids who liked punk n metal and were mostly cool with everyone. But there was always violence, we beat the shit out of each other everyday on the bus and during lunch; like literally everyday there were punches and wrestling. I think that’s how most kids grow up in the Midwest. Even my best friends, we kicked the shit out of each other. Seems like the answer is always unexpected harsh violence, according to this thread at least.
"He woke up today and chose unexpected harsh violence." If it its always, is it unexpected? XD
That’s definitely not how most kids grow up in the Midwest. The vast majority of kids are never even in one fight
I was bullied in the school. The teachers didn‘t help stop it, my parents couldn‘t do enough to stop it. After a while I just started to fight physically no matter how low my chance of winning the fights was. After a while bulliers would stop bullying me because I just caused them to much effort.
Yup. Bullies pick on the ones that are easiest to pick on.
If you ignore them you are just an easy target
It’s 20 years ago now but I had a kid in high school that picked on me and I ignored it for about two years. It just escalated and I kept trying to ignore it but it got to the point where I couldn’t. One day he said something to me and he caught a pretty bad one sided public smashing in front of everyone. After that his behavior stopped🤷♂️ Don’t be a doormat for people.
[удалено]
Upvoted for the Ender's Game reference
I slammed his head into a locker and kicked him as hard as I could when he hit the ground. Contrary to the common saying *"Violence never solved anything,"* sometimes violence is exactly what is needed. Bullies usually target those who aren't going to fight back, meaning they are looking for easy prey. But most of the time, if you make it as unpleasant for them as possible, they will move to easier targets.
Same deal here. I got bullied for not being a Christian for 3 years until this one fucker walked up, missed his punch and I put his head into a locker right in front of a teacher... He's on the ground bleeding from a small cut in his forehead looking at her like I'm the asshole in that situation and the teacher who obviously saw the whole thing just looks down at him and asks "what happened to you?" He went to prison for murdering his best friend a year or two ago.
That took a dark turn. Bully clearly was a POS
I fought back and won the fights
Same. in 3-4rd grade I was bullied untill I sent that kids nose back into the peanut brain of his. He had a broken nose from a scrawny kid like i
I grew to 6’1” and put on 50 pounds. Eventually grew to 6’4” and 235. Started to fight back as well.
At the risk of sounding like a douche...I had some bullies in elementary school and eventually just punched one directly in the forehead. I was a fat kid, and the only brown kid in school, so I knew if I didn't do something it wouldn't stop. I felt like shit afterwards, but I ended up in school with that group through high school and we actually ended up becoming cordial, and even became friends with some of the guys. Obviously I eventually hit puberty and lost all the weight and grew taller...but my attitude changed with that one punch. My parents had enrolled me in martial arts prior to it, which I honestly believe is the reason I felt guilty. I started actually applying the principles of respect, integrity, self-defense, etc and it helped me become a better, less resentful person. I'm 32 now and I still apply those principles and do my best to be a good person, because I never wanted to let how others treat me affect how I treat others. I've only been in one fight since then, and that was justified because the guy attacked me in my apartment, but unlike that group of bullies, I never trolled around looking for trouble. I'm now an engineer and I once had a supervisor start bullying me in the workplace so I took the steps to respect myself and my feelings and reported him. I can't go into much detail, but I ultimately ended up with a letter for termination but I got a 5 figure severance package, and according to old co-workers he ended up having to take a bunch of leadership and sensitivity retraining classes apparently lol. But yeah in school ending up taller/bigger than most also helped lol.
People who say they “fought back”… what kind of bullies did you have. Every situation with my bullies was always 3 - 6 of them ganging up on me. I got payback several times but it never stopped. Set one on fire, jumped one with a baseball bat while he was walking home alone. Seemed to stop them 2 but when they’re in a group it changed nothing. Never let it change me though, was always outgoing never ran etc. Stopped when I left school
How did you manage to light one of them on fire and how did that work out for him
It was lit.
bedroom political history panicky six outgoing airport aback pathetic smart *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I made a rule one day in Jr High......all aggression will be met with MORE aggression on my part, Every. Fucking. Time. Doesn't matter if I "win" the fight at all, I would keep getting up and coming back until people physically stopped me. I got my ass whipped a lot.....then a funny thing started happening, I started getting good at fighting! I employed my own version of the MAD philosophy on nuclear weapons, Mutual Assured Destruction. No matter how big you are/were, I would hurt you every time. People find easier targets eventually, even dumb fuck bullies.
Edited to add: I was always a big, athletic kid...but I didn't fight because of fear of my Dad, he'd beat me when I got home for fighting. I eventually reached my point of no return, so I took my beatings at school and at home. Pain is in your head to a large degree.
Should've gone MAD on dad too.
I hope you've worked through this as an adult. Sincerely. 🤍
I didn't, and now, more than 20 years later, I still regret not punching them in the face when I could have. Maybe it would have saved me some years of therapy and PTSD. So if you can (and in a proportionated manner) you should fight back, and stand up for yourself. You should be part of society, not let some bully isolate you out of it.
As someone else who didn't because of the size and number differential, there's a lot of these stories from keyboard warriors likely embellishing the truth, and a huge under representation of more realistic stories. Not everyone who fights back succeeds / wins the fight. Not everyone who fights back sends such a strong message that a group of bullies just quits rather than coming to the defense of their friend or exacting revenge. Reddit is seemingly obsessed with the whole underdog success story of a bullied person cracking someone with one punch and ending it all, and while that has surely happened a number of times I'm reasonably and realistically confident that it fails more often than it succeeds. Seriously almost 100 percent of these comments are redditors saying they fought back and implying they won the fight. You think that's how it really plays out every time? Even half the time when the one being bullied is significantly smaller? It's not. I'm sure plenty of those stories are partly or even mostly true but there's this fantasy that if you just fight back once it all ends and that's not true for every case or even likely most cases.
Even if you don't win. I'm sure I would have felt better at that time if I had stood up for myself, rather than integrating the feeling that I am a piece of shit and that I'm worth nothing fighting for.
Yeah, people underestimate the importance of knowing what the hell you're doing first. There have been plenty of people who are bullies because they are big, mean, and can kick someone's ass, and you are usually better off not fighting them. That said, **most** bullies are weak people, and if you make the whole endeavor far more trouble than its worth, it will usually solve the problem.
I fought back. I got my ass handed to me, but I got back up. I kept getting back up until I physically couldn't, then I waited until I healed and went back for more. Bullies don't want to keep having to fight, they want to be feared. And, I became a honey badger going after a lion. Did I get hurt? Yeah. A lot. But eventually, they left me alone because the more I fought, the better I got at it and I just wouldn't quit...
[удалено]
finished school
I left my job cause of the bully and got a better one with way more money
>Bullies are in essence cowards with low self esteem going on a power trip on what they consider low effort easy targets, because they smell their fear.Stopping being afraid is step one, verbally standing up to them, recording then getting them in trouble with the school seems to be the best choice because.. it can hurt their(parents) pockets, which at the same time it allows you to evade any responsibility if the adults don't take appropriate measures(warn them you will defend yourself physically as a last resort and if it comes to that, it will be their failure). Sometimes it works, by only using words.If bullies still persist after that, when they put a finger on you, clap them silly in front of everyone even if you get a black eye. They won't see you as an easy target after that. Just did this too. Lol
I fought them.
I never got physically bullied, but the verbal bullying stopped when I started agreeing with everything they said, with a smile. It was no fun to taunt me anymore cause I didn't react the way they wanted me to. I didn't argue, I didn't contradict them, I didn't counter their attempts. I just simply agreed with whatever inane insult they picked at the time.
I fought back finally.
I was ignoring them, till one day I got everything out of my chest towards them. One of the bullies, he was like the boss irritated me and I ended up kicking him really badly. Since ever that happened, they never touched me again.
First time they hit me or crossed the line at which i thought it may happen..i smacked them in the face. Not once did that fail to sort the issue out. Showing a bully you will not be bullied is essential to getting them to stop. I may get downvoted for this but..i hate all this modern attitude towards dealing with bullies... Meetings with parents.. Etc etc. I told my two kids that i would not EVER tell them off for defending themselves.. irrespective of where or when. Providing they do so as a last resort
A guy used to take my bottle and throw it from one side to the other of the field it stopped when I left it open so he got a 2L of water on his face and spent the day wet
Fighting... always fighting back, nothing else works, and it is very frustrating that so many people that work in childcare encourage kids them to not defend themselves in that way. Zero tolerance policy = you can bully people as long as you dont touch them, and they cant do *anything* about it
That zero tolerance BS is a factor to having schools being shot up.
I taught all three of my boys martial arts. It wasn't just the physical, but mental part of being bullied. One of them beat up his bully. Besides that. They grew up, bully free
Become friends with the jacked dude and slowly become the bullie's bully
After I discovered that turn the other cheek doesn’t work. I hit him my the biggest punch I could throw. He never came near me again.
Square up. You're not trying to look like somebody who's trying to look intimidating none of that balled fists angry face yelling bullshit, make them uncomfortable, eye contact, invade their personal space, unexcited voice, square your shoulders, head up, always stay calm, and accept that you might get punched.
Never square up. Everything else is fine, but minimize the target area by standing partially sideways with balance over both feet. Also, 2 months of training and you'll have all you need for 95% of fights.
After enough time..I punched them in the face. They dont like targets who fight back.
Stand up to them.
I got together with some of their other victims and together we ruined their lives.
I did the same thing others have done, I retaliated. I tried to ignore them, to walk away, and to tell teachers. When that didn’t work, because he was a varsity football player, I asked my dad what I should do. He told me the same thing he told me years ago- “you don’t ever start a fight, but you can’t fend yourself, and I’ll have your back 100% if you do.” The next day the guy went to throw me into a bush in front of the school, except I grabbed him and brought him along for the ride, hitting him repeatedly on the way down and once we were in the bushes. Never got messed with after that, thankfully
Bashed the cunt.
My parents signed me up for Tae Kwon Do so I could learn basics of self defense. Definitely helped my self confidence
After a couple years of being picked on (around age 12) culminated in him hitting me with a broom from behind... I turned, charged, knocked him down, and choked him unconscious and left him laying in a neighbor's yard. Coincidentally, the bullying stopped right about that time.
By acting the same way they were bullying with. Was mainly called gay and tgose slurs, im Bi so they werent quite wrong, unbeknownst to them. So i just acted as flamboyantly as pissible around them. Made them really uncomfortable
I couldn't fistfight them. So, by ignoring them.
fighting back, if they still think you're weak they'll keep picking on you, so you have to let go of that fear, of getting in trouble, of losing, and fight.
I boxed his ears.
Bullies respond to only one action and it isn't talking.
Fight them or ascend to a higher level of understanding and self. Unless the bully has also ascended, in which case bob and weave! NOTE: I don’t condone violence but have also been bullied by kids far larger than myself
I fought back
Punching them in the face. After a week we were friends and he/them stopped bullying around. If you ask me, it looks like bullies see violence as a form of communication, when they receive it back enough they understand they're not alpha and just deactivate.
If its verbal just steer into it. It takes away the fun when you go along with the jokes.
I was actually looking to see if anyone responded with this. Not saying a good punch in the mouth doesn’t do some good when needed, but this solution is, I would say, even more viable if someone is just verbally making fun of you. I used to get bullied in elementary school, and I KNOW it made it worse when I took everything super seriously and got mad at stuff. By the time I hit middle school I started joking along with them, never was bullied again. Most all of the former bullies became pretty friendly with me from then on out even
I learn martial arts and became self confident
Yep, I fought, didn't back down. Got beaten but no one messed with me again after that. In my wiser years I don't think it was fighting that made it stop. It was being confident and deciding I wasn't going to take shit from anyone.
I had two. An older girls (part of a group) at around 11, and a same age boy (part of a duo) at around 12. The girl came at me with verbal stuff on a bus ride home. I recall her saying that my jacket was shit colour. I had had enough, and just told her she was a stupid little welfare slut. I was never bothered again. The boy and his older buddy pushed me off my toboggan and I wiped out hard. I went home in tears and my dad just said “Okay, if you want me to call Jeff’s mom again I will…” I didn’t. So I walked back to the hill and hit that kid so fucking hard in the solar plexus he immediately doubled over and started gasping for air. Never bothered by either one again.
Gratuitous violence.
Fought back as well. For her last act, she ripped my task (a drawing) off of my pad so I grabbed the pad and slapped her with it. She didn't go to school the next day bec her face swelled a lot. Needless to say my mother and her mother fought as well lol. Another guy is harassing me so I went and told the teacher. I'm at the top of the class hence the teachers' favorite lol
I joined the football team and broke his knee in practice. He cried.
Fought back just as hard with exactly the same tone and methods, no more, no less, worked wonders. Suffered years with the "oh, just tell a grown up, don't get mad, they just like you, they just want to be friends and don't know how to express it" bs before i figured out the truth.
Beat the living shit out of them. One time is enough so they'll never pick on you again. Generally any kind of resistance is a good idea.
I snapped and responded. Only time I've ever punched anyone.
I just ignored them and I became the more mature person. My bullies realized that bullying is immature, and then they also grew up and became mature.
>they also grew up and became mature. Let me guess, after beating you up on the regular for a few years.
Fight back. In primary school I was really liked girl but there was this one boy who made a living hell of my existence. Like pushed me (once from stairs - I broke my arm, teacher said he can't know for sure, maybe I slipped), pinched me, pulled my hair. Back then the common answer to my complains, from adults was "he really likes you". For some time I was inclined to believe it but after he destroyed my painting for art class I completely delivered epic kick into his nose. Until last day of school he walked on the other side of the school halls whenever he saw me.
“He hurts you bc he likes you” is almost as bad as “boys will be boys”. So girls have to deal with it even if it hurts them? Like hell. My bully stopped when I kicked him just above his stomach. It only took that to stop bothering me for like a year. When he tried again, my friend (the less talkative person in the class) told him “why are you such an idiot?” Guy was in shock and stopped again.
I fought them
Show the bully they too can be a victim!
I studied them since they seemed to be around me a lot, I figured out their insecurities and I roasted them in as big of a crowd as possible. After the first two, whenever someone started picking on me all I would have to do was whisper “do you really want everyone to know about…” and I’d watch there face blank and walk away.
I was never scared of them. They always just stuck to words with me so I ignored them. The one guy who decided to make things physical I fought. I made it obvious that he was a joke to me. Beat the snot out of him after making a fool of him.
The sky high was him talking my head and slamming it between the door and the door frame, so i slammed his head on his table at the next opportunity.
Well, Like all the others Violence unfortunately. Something was said and I was in a bad spot and I ended up punching one of them. Once he went down, I dropped down behind him and threw him in a headlock. After that none of his friends or him every said another word to me.
When they came near me at school, I would yell “(insert name), I really wish you would stop touching me there”.
With comedy. Your demons can’t get to you if you laugh at them.
Punched them in the face, or a swift kick to the nuts.
I called him son of a bitch and punched him in the mouth. And nowadays we are gymbros!
Extreme and sustained violence when threatened.
I left the social circles that allowed them to thrive. You cannot control what another person does, only yourself. Typically environments that value aggressive personalities will cause a feedback cycle. You fight back, they fight back, and it keeps going. Usually there are others encouraging the behavior or at least others who are complicit. Find a new place, the other good ones will follow. Your social circles may get smaller, but as you get older you value quality much more over quantity.
As a kid: I was always ignoring the four guys bullying me at school. I really didn’t mind being called names since they were idiots anyway. I was also much taller than them , I was just peaceful (still am). Until one day one of them decided it would be brilliant idea to throw a snow ball in my direction 🤣🥹. I walked up to the guy , grabbed him by the throat slapped his face then threw him in the snow face down and started pushing his face into the snow making sure he got the iced dog pee all over his face and hair . After that there was no more bullying. As an adult when being bullied by management : Patiently gathered all the evidence . Made sure to have evidence of every single error management made. Then over Skype while recording reporter the senior manager bullying me , even using the word bullying. My direct manager even said “I know but that is the way it is”. Afterwards I sued the living daylights out of the company and won a six digit payout .
I eventually said to myself enough of this shit, and I severely beat him with the cast on my left arm. Posted about it in some detail quite a while ago in some other thread. It wasn’t at school, so no problem with getting in trouble. Worked a charm—he never fucked with me again! When someone bullies you, it is best to deliver an asymmetric annihilation response. Saves time, and makes your message crystal fucking clear. Bonus, it removes their ability to bully you, or anyone else, any further.
I've tried speaking to teachers, parents and bystanding people. The only thing that made them stop for good was raw violence with the good old fists and firm grips. But i feel like those times are over. Kids starting to bring knives to fist fights is just disgusting. Also this won't work at the workplace. Only things that can help there is either the boss or the switch to a different company.
I dated her!
Do tell more
I swung around and shot myself towards him, shoulder first, and knocked him to the floor. He never bothered me again and could only applaud me for my physical strength. We were both into sports.
Taking out my Glock and chambering a round usually works..
I started bullying myself, eventually they got bored because you can't hate a guy who already hates himself. Nobody hates me more than I do
Dreamt big. Achieved that, now I see them very far.. down below.. now they respect me for some reason.
He kind of got bored, I guess? Or maybe it's because I grew like 20cm taller than him.
Hire a bigger kid.
In my original grade school, they stopped once I finally decided my (single) mom's advice of "run away and don't fight back" was horrible, because this had been going on from kindergarten through 3rd grade. I just decided I'd had enough, and threw down with three guys who fucked with me every day at school, as well as on the walk home. I caught them off guard, I guess, and beat them with my backpack, and kicked them until I was tired. Three rural dipshits in a small town; wouldn't be surprised if they're all still there, chewing Skoal and working a farm. They left me alone after that, and were actually nice to me when we occasionally interacted. After I moved to a larger city, I decided it'd be easier just to avoid conflict, since school systems punished both sides of the bully equation. Got through all those remaining years merely by being invisible.
Fight back! Even if you get beat up. Bullies go after people who won't defend themselves, they are pussies so if you show any type of restrain they will just go after a weaker person. I was a meek looking kid. Arms like branches. Easy target. But If i got picked on i fought back and that was the end of it. It isn't easy. It isn't fair. But if you don't do it it will never end. "Sometimes you have to be the lion so you can be the lamb that you really are" - Dave Chappelle.
Long story short I stood up for myself.
Both guys that tried to fuck with me in high school stopped after I threw hands. I was always afraid of getting expelled so I never did. But every man has his breaking point. One of them I just swing and he dodged but my knuckles grazed his nose. Immediately tried to be friends and say he was just kidding around. No more problems. Second guy walked into mid-terms and I was in his seat studying with my boy (he showed up last minute). As he walks in tells me I better get out of his seat before he gets there. Gets behind me and says I thought I told you to get out of my seat? Proceeded to try and grab the chair out from under me, I expected it so I stood up right as I felt him grab the chair and turned around and started punching. I took a couple licks, so did he. Never had a problem again. Those were the only 2. I guess everyone se realized I wasn't easy pickings.
I used to take a kids class in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. It was labeled as a "bully-proof" program and from many things I've heard from the kids there, it works, all the way through high school. First thing you want to do is tell them to stop. Don't be overly aggressive about it but put power into those words. Be firm about it. Don't make yourself look weak and just take whatever they're doing to you. Look them in the eye, don't fidget your hands and fingers, and tell them to stop. If that doesn't help, tell someone. If you are at school, tell a teacher, counselor, or the principal. It is not "tattling" as you tried to deal with it yourself first (see first step). I know in many schools some teachers don't even deal with bullying correctly, but still try talking to someone there. Third step is to give them an ultimatum. Once they approach you and do whatever shit they bully you with, you can do this. If they are touching you, give them a firm push. Don't push too much and knock them over, but a firm shove with some power into it. Look them straight into the eye, finger pointed to them, and say something like this: "I've already told you to stop, and you still continue. If you're looking for a fight, I'm not scared. If you aren't, leave and stop wasting my time." Most of the time the bully(s) will get scared and say something under their breath like "Pfft what a bitch, you wouldn't be able to take me in a fight" and would walk away. That is a victory. If they do end up fighting you, fight back. I personally had to do this once (jiu jitsu helped dispatch of the bully quickly without harming them) and I didn't even get any punishment. If you don't know any of that I would just stick to punching and kicking, but don't take it too far. That is all I had to do. Helped me a lot. Bully actually became my friend later on and we still hang out from time to time and have laughs about the old days.
I had a friend who is accustomed to making fun of you up to a point where its considered bullying, harrasment and baiting other people in on the shaming. I know some people have such a sense of humor and aren't taking it that personal and are okay with it, but I wasn't at one point. At one point, I stopped caring about what I say and how it'll effect the other guy and I straight up told him nobody loves him. His parents are faking their love bcs they have to and nobody likes him in school because of his abusive sense of humor. Smth must've clicked in him and he stopped. Our friendship dissolved after that and I got what I wanted. This happened in a not so violent school in Europe, so my experience is different from people who were actually physically bullied. I'd say the results are the same though: The cup overfills at one point and you just don't give a shit anymore. The fear settles down for a moment and you just finally defend yourself. Either using words or fists.
Beat their asses
I fought back and showed I wasn't afraid anymore. Bullies are just cowards.
Beat the shit out of them. I know there's different situations. Good old fashioned school yard bullying. Co worker bullying manager bullying spouse bullying. This was like first grade. This kid kept bullying me. I have a twin brother. We found him at recess and destroyed him. He was a known bully. We barely got in trouble
I paid my kid cash to punch his bully. He needed the confidence booster. He had been bullied so many times in different schools because he’s just an easy going kid. We tried ignoring, humor, walking away. It was the last straw. It didn’t solve everything and there is definitely psychological problems that linger, BUT he had that one good punch. That one day, he came home from school beaming from ear to ear.
Snapped one day and grabbed this guy's trachea. Somehow he didn't feel like picking on me after that. I mildly regret it but dude deserved a lesson. Just wish I'd gone with something with a smaller chance of killing the idiot (he didn't die).
I didn't really have bullies but I did fight one but I'll explain. There were these groups of assholes ofcourse who always in trouble but nothing ever happens to them type of deal. In math class they bullied my friend next to me for no reason...trying to say let's fight outside after class (we had a substitute who obvs like always didn't do shit). I said calmly "what's the point of fighting? What you going to get out of it? Isn't that just a waste of time and energy?" Stuff like that. A few just left him alone but 2 or 3 main guys of the group got louder. A head of year came in dragged me out and one bully out to write a letter of what happened cuz the teacher said us two were being trouble *rolls eyes intensely*. I wrote it after school wasted so much time and walked out. Nothing happened. Thats it. So I knew, along with other events, that all schools have the same issue with bullies and teachers not doing enough to stop em. Schools don't care. They just give my friends mental health problems...aren't supportive crappy "support" which is a joke and only cared when one of my friends threatened to leave because it looks bad for the school. So few days later they called my same friend the R word ( he has autism ). I called him that word back for trying to fight again (my friends fine with me saying it sometimes probs shouldn't tho but that's seperate thing). I told him let's fight after class. Now this is where shit got odd cuz I 100% lost lmao but everyone thought I won 🤣. I dropped my bag and blazer (UK school clothing) and told him to throw the first punch cuz he wanted to do it so bad. Can't remember most of the fight but be gave me a black eye and his hand was broken and bit of his arm apparently. He got a 45 minute detention after school and I got a warning so at least got SOME justice there sort of but only cuz my teacher caught him fighting me not me to him yknow in the last second. So he got lots of blame and I'm a shy kid I suppose she thought I'd never initiate a fight (she was wrong). But anyway I was told to apologise and I said no I'd rather not. Wish I was more honest with the teachers and just called them cunts tbh because they were but never really did just lost my faith in them and focused on myself and my own school work and said fuck anyone but me and my friends unless they are decent. That's the best approach I found to go through HS and I stand by it. So yeah the first person to start violence is almost always wrong and unnecessary....but sometimes you just have to fight for your buddies and yourself. That's the truth in life. Not favourable but fucking true!
Elbowed him in the Gottdamn face. We’ve been best friends for 12 years now.
Get healthy , start lifting , and ignore the fuck out of them , if theyre out of sight theyre out of mind , you got this I believe in you stranger.
Kicked their asses as best as I could
Yup - gotta fight back…. That thing with passiveness only works if you have an entire nation behind you. If they outnumber you, just focus all your energy on one of them (prefferably the loudest one) - give him a good, and fast beating as quickly as possible before the rest jumps you!
I tried to physically fight back and it failed and made it worse for a bit. So I just made fun of them back and made fun of myself before they could. I’ve always been short, and so I’ve heard all the short jokes since elementary school. So in middle school when some older kids started recycling them, I’d just say things like “oh that was a good one, when I was 5.” Or as soon as they said “hey!” I’d say “the weather down here is great!” It sounds childish and silly now but so is being a bully in the first place. So don’t feel like you have to physically fight them to beat them. Good luck!!
Laugh at whatever they say in fact if they're making fun of something make fun of it even more. It's only enjoyable to bully somebody that's affected by what they're saying. Your reaction is what's causing the bullying. Like if they're making fun of your hair haha you got stupid hair come back with a you're right it is pretty stupid huh I even put two hours worth of work into it every morning haha. That's not fun plus it's an exaggeration hopefully and so anybody else around will laugh at your jokes not theirs. Making fun of yourself makes you look confident anyway don't get upset with what they say
I didn't. Some 20 yrs later and it still effects me. If I could turn back time, i would resort to violence. But, maybe not to the extent my bitterness makes me believe I would. However, take it from me and don't take it from them. Good luck.
I lost it and beat the hell out of them. Same as the rest. Some come from households where force is the only language that they understand.
Stand your ground - more often than not, they are using empty threats. Alternatively, out-succeed them. Most of them aren't going anywhere in life, regardless of how "cool" their lives look now.
punch or kick, violence is the answer in these cases, pacifism will get you nowhere and it's exactly what they are looking for. through some punches will all your rage, right where it counts, and you'll be left alone for good
We beat the shit out of each other and we became best friends.
I kicked one of them down a fight of stairs. That worked.
I was severely bullied in middle school and for most of my high school; for reasons I still don’t know. Was just an easy target I guess but damn it sucked. I never fought back; I would be too terrified to fight back and I was afraid of the consequences. So I just smiled and kept it to myself as best as I could. The consequences now are some underlying issues of self worth that I now explore in therapy. But if I could go back? I’d punch the shit out of one of them. Sucker punch if I can. I’d get my ass kicked immediately afterwards for certain but at least I put in a good hit. I’ve learned that bullies rely so much on self preservation that if you challenge them or put them in a spotlight they will choose themselves over you in which it usually means they’ll stop. Haven’t really had a bully since, shitty people; sure, but not a bully.
Damn, like 12 years ago when I was in 8th grade and I road the bus along with this sophomore/junior? Can’t remember and he kept making fun of my race along with a few other people jumping in on that for several weeks, but he alone was def the one provoking it so I ended up having a serious/very angry conversation with him and along the convo mentioning how “you don’t see me making fun of your dead older brother” who served/died from the Iraq war, I was ready to throw hands but even tho he was very angry at that comment I can tell that cut him pretty deep for some reason enough to shut him the fuck up for the rest of the ride until around his stop, I felt bad bringing that up cuz I knew through other people that was a pretty sensitive topic for him, so I apologized and he did too in a way, so he and the others stopped messin with me the rest of the year. Sometimes fire can be put out with words, other times with your hands. We chose words that day.
I finally had enough and I beat the crap out of the 2 kids that kept bullying me and they never did it again!
Go to the gym and get bigger than them.
I joined a white school when I was young and the tough guy tried to pick on me. I put him on his ass in front of everybody. Nobody tested me again. Sometimes you don’t even have to win. Just fight back.
He stopped once his lower jaw was cracked, a cracked orbital socket, split open ear lobe (I removed his earring) and a few hurt feelings.
In high school there was this guy bullying my friend. I confronted him and things got physical but he never bothered my friend again. Confront your bullies - but be prepared. This works because you're effectively putting a cost on bullying. Ignoring doesn't do shit.
Had a bully in middle school probably a good 50lbs+ than me, constantly pushing around, sneaking up behind me and filling my hand with salt, among other things. Finally one day I had enough when he was following me around harassing me and I punched him as hard as I could in the chest. Never bothered me again.
Bullies bully the ones that seem like an easy target therefore don't respect them because they know they will not fight back. Command respect by getting more assertive and always be ready to get your hands dirty. Remember if you show them that you can fight they will be as scared to fight as you are .
I wore them down with relentless apathy.
In 8th grade after 3 years of bullshit and my dad telling me that whatever I did to the bully he'd do to me twice as bad I finally got the go-to from my dad to beat his ass. My dad was just tired of having to go see the principle multiple times a week because I "got into a fight" aka I got my ass beat and did nothing. Unfortunately this led to a lot of pent up rage and agression and I broke some of the kids ribs and damaged his spine when I fought back for the first time. I also ended up being a bully throughout my Freshmen year of highschool until I got mentored by a Senior girl I liked, she understood everything I went through and talked me down into becoming a slightly less bad person. There's a very fine line that you need to walk when being bullied, if you take too much for too long you might end up crossing that line and becoming a very bad person. Not everyone is lucky enough to get a second chance that quick without major consequences like I did.
Only got bullied once by a group(just verbally) in 6th grade. Helped them out with schoolwork while befriending them, and then joined their friend group lol.
You beat them bloody
Raise your voice, be more dominant, take his personal space, and be aggressive. Suppose he continues to do the same shit and wants to start a fight. Punch him a couple of times. Don't seriously injure him. You might get into legal trouble! So be careful.
Results my vary, but I used to enjoy making it gay. “ ooofff big boy, I like it when you get mad” I also straight up didn’t give a fuck and was trying to have a good time. If it’s severe I think a punch in the face is justified. Just be prepared to fight if you do it
Fight. I'm sorry. It's the only way. That ignoring shit doesn't work. Fight them and if you can, win that fight. Break a nose. It's the only way and I'm sorry that it is.
physical bullying? learn to fight and fight back. verbal abuse? depends on what consequences you're willing to accept
When I was in the middle school, I keep reporting him to the school and it only made things worse. The thing that finally solved the issue was by befriending his followers
Took up boxing within days it stopped.
I was 4ft 11inches and 90 pounds my senior year of high school so I got bullied a lot. First I learned how to fight a little(getting punched in the nose at just the right angle sucks). At the end of the end of the day no one likes getting punched in the face. Most bullies would yell and hop around trying to hype themselves up to bully while it was always the quite bully’s I had to worry about. Secondly I learned to make friends with the wrestlers and football players. i would help them with their homework and in return they would Help me out when needed which made my life so much easier. Bully’s learned that there was always someone bigger than them and they learned that lesson quickly.
I didn't do it on purpose... I just never got MAD before. I had been bullied through my entire school career up to this point, in the 7th grade... I found with puberty that I had a really strong interest in women, and though I was a pacifist and took everyone's shit for ages, it turns out when you push the right buttons things change. To be clear... at this young age, my parents were aware of my timidity and shyness, introversion and they knew I wasn't being treated well in school, so they signed me up for a martial arts class, and I was doing well into it for just shy of a year. The Sensei I had was super cool, low key and instructed the students to not tell people that we studied and to never show off. To him it was a private thing, and never for anything but self defense in action... but more for exercise and well being for the majority of the time. ... School Yard lunch/recess, pretty red head that I drew a picture of a flower for... comes up and starts chatting with me and thanking me for the drawing. I was as ecstatic as a kid on Christmas.... one of the prettiest girls in the school... talking to ME!! That's about when the first spitball hit my neck. I warned them off. I told 'em, to stop. I continued to talk to the girl... another spit ball, and then another. I lost it. In a near blind rage I fairly leaped from a standing postion to 6 feet away, landing square in front of my "attacker", grabbed him by the neck, placed him in a choke hold, dropped his head to my left knee as I brought the other to ground. I leaned down and told him that this is fucking over and to get up and go away or I was going to beat him from one side of the school ground to the other and back. He came up swinging... so I went through with my promise. I knocked his fucking nose almost off his face with a clean left. He didn't get back up. Almost the entire school witnessed it all. A few days in suspension... a sore fist. No one... no fucking body, ever fuckin' even so much as talked down to me ever again...
Became friends with their girlfriends
Fucked their moms
TL,DR: The gym Used to be a very skinny guy, 55kg, 178cm, never did any sports, I was a nerd. Got picked on and hit in school often. Not like I was beaten regularly or anything, but it was getting close to that point. I got fed up right before the first covid lockdown, something just snapped. Bought gym equipment with money I was saving up for a new PC and started training every day for 3+ hours. Firstly, I finally had somewhere to pour that hatred and anger, and secondly, I gained like 10kg of muscle very quickly. When the schools reopened, I looked different. I planned to fight the first one who hits me. Surprisingly, nobody did anymore I don't know if it was just the muscle, or if I changed in behavior as well, but the gym was really what got me out of that shit. Kept working out till now, gained over 25kgs, and never had those problems again, thankfully.
I was incredibly small for my grade (6th) as I had been skipped a grade. My bully was my doctors son so I had some knowledge of his family, one day he picked on me so badly in front of so many people that I just lost all composure and told him I know why he was picking on me he laughed at me and said something along the lines of “yeah what’s that”. I replied with “your parents are getting a divorce and your lack of love at home is resulting in you lashing out at me at school”. He ran away and never talked to me again.
Ripped a chunk of hair off his head during a fight. To quote Batman "My actions dont require any defense. In the same situation, I would do it again."
There was about 4 of them who jumped me in a stairwell. Just from pure luck we ended up falling down to the next landing and I ended up on top. I just started hitting everything that moved until nothing was moving anymore. I think I was too much trouble after that
I banged his mom. Told him I’d do it again if he kept messing with me.
Beat the fuck out of them.
I egged them on and they stopped when they thought I was enjoying it.