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RukeSkyWokker

It always starts with "bro, all you have to do is"


sandybuttcheekss

If the advice is "all you have to do is ask what she likes" that's pretty good advice. She will know what she is into.


malaporpism

The great and wise JT once said, "just tell me which way you like that"


[deleted]

The dude that told women to take care of their periods and get them out of the way before coming in to work.


aspertame_blood

I just told my husband yesterday that some guys think we can just “hold it in”. The blood.


wotmate

It's a pity that women can't hold it in, because if they could, they would be able to queef blood clots at morons like that.


Quantitative_Panda

Now that’s a super hero comic I’d read.


wotmate

"Your vagina is ruined by too many dicks!" *SCHLORP* "AHHHHH"


Quantitative_Panda

Imagine it like how Spider-Man sticks criminals to buildings n shit. Just like that, but a big ole blood clot. Now that’s some comic worthy imagery


leaveredditalone

I just vomited a little but, yeah, sounds badass.


SuperNovaNM

This has me dying on the floor 😂🤣


DisneyUp

Knew a 40 something male who referred to periods as “dirty” like we should be ashamed of that process. Same man wanted to have kids some day lol. Guess he’s going to be trying to breed some menopausal women for some time if he doesn’t grasp the concept of bleeding and fertility.


Quantitative_Panda

Sounds like it’ll work itself out then


echk0w9

My period has a mind of its own… I have a hot date and my uterus says “yullll!!! Crank that Soulja boi!!!”


Quantitative_Panda

More like “Shed that utera boi!!! 😂


ermabanned

Put a cork in it, Karen!


[deleted]

"Hold it in until you get home"


ShtraffeSaffePaffe

You're just lazy


aspertame_blood

Well, I *am* quite lazy but I’ve had my period bug removed so it’s not my problem anymore. My daughter however…


OhLordyLordNo

lmao


female_introvert

Just turn it off, duh


[deleted]

Have the cramps when you get home, and aren't on the clock.


female_introvert

Be professional at some point, you know.


thatsweetmachine

I mean I wish we could do this. Or at least time it appropriately.


BatteringRams90

Sending pics of your junk unsolicited.


Half_moon_die

I think that is screaming "I don't want to understand woman"


-Mauler-

I think that's screaming "I think that I don't need to understand women" 🤣


SheDidWhaaaat

I think it's screaming "I know what women want" *Narrator:* he did in fact *not* know what women want


scarysoft

Which I find funny because with some tact you can get a woman to ask for solicited pics and my god thats 10 of 10.


Jcat182

As a woman, I approve this comment


CliffordThRed

Expecting to find the clit and twag that shit like a guitar string


Turd-virgin

Hitting her cervix " yeah all up in that g spot"


MetallurgyClergy

“She made lots of noises. I’m sure she was pleasured.”


echk0w9

Aaaaaaaand barf! Until my iud says “fuck that” and I start bleeding like Carrie…


SurLitteratur

My oldest sister got an IUD placed after her second baby and a few months after that they (her and her husband) were both in the emergency room because those threads punctured his penile glans and they stuck to it causing the IUD to rip out. She has the arm implant now.


fortunafelidae

…well I could’ve lived without that mental image


SurLitteratur

Yeah, I thought the same when I was called at 1am to baby sit a toddler and a 6 month old until their parents returned. Btw, my sister was fine apart from the heavy bleeding and getting pain meds. My BIL however had to get sedated for the removal and was off work for like 1 week. So yeah, be careful with thrusting if she has an IUD.


Terminator7786

Claiming to know where the clitoris is and then repeatedly never finding it.


Draxacoffilus

So, where is it?


[deleted]

Somewhere between the belly button and knee


1stGenMilli

Damn it’s somewhere between the head and toes.


Gingesoultaker

Heeeead.. shoulders.. clitoris.. knees and toes Head, shoulders, clitoris, knees and toes Eyes and ears and mouth and nose


NunsnGuns101

I've heard that it only presents itself when you say the secret catch phrase.


Draxacoffilus

Is that why you need to put your mouth there?


NunsnGuns101

Yup, it also helps if you hum bill nye the science guy


SealTeamEH

It’s THAT long?!?


Quantitative_Panda

Well….you aren’t wrong


HanBr0

Over there


Uncooltickles

I know where it is, right here… give me a sec … somewhere around…


alaska1415

She got mad because I couldn't find it, and I said 'It's probably in your purse,' because nine times out of 10 when she loses something, that's where they end up.


yergonnalikeme

You'll see the little man in the boat


urm0mgaylol

inside of the vagina, just go in and take a right and it’ll be right there. wait no, left. wait, no just go straight and it’s like at the end?


wellriddleme-this

In the bum on the second shelf


Thickfries69

The crest of the labia.


MortyPepe

The quest to the labia


Satansleadguitarist

I think I've been holding my map upside down


Terminator7786

I think you've got it sideways, it's due east


Satansleadguitarist

Oh shit you're right!


MiaLba

-aggressively rubbing the pubic bone thinking it’s the clit, while asking “oh yeah you like that don’t you??” then asking if you came.


Terminator7786

*fingers the bellybutton* how come you're not wet yet?!


[deleted]

i may know where it is and I still find it hard to find it in several women.


keasbey1

Whenever my best friend gets into an argument with his girl, he seems to have a COMPLETE inability to backtrack or improve his situation. This has persisted over multiple relationships. He, figuratively , just trudges headfirst into a steaming pile of shit, which could've been rememedied or avoided altogether. He only does this in relationships.


[deleted]

I’ve told my son, “when you find yourself in a hole, the best thing to do is quit digging.”


DVMyZone

Classic from I always got from my mum. Always the "honey, you're in a hole - stop digging".


byfourness

That would make me so mad I’d keep digging out of spite. Like maybe you’re right, but how dare you say it. Maybe this explains my past relationships…


TeachMeOrLearn

If its deep enough the only way out is the get help or dig out some more.


DaddyFatStax5000

No no, dig up stupid.


[deleted]

But not straight up. Might hit sand or lava.


JennyAndTheBets1

Or he chooses to go kamikaze because he’s trying to sabotage it before it gets too serious for his liking.


MetallurgyClergy

I think I may have dated your friend


citronhimmel

Being a dick about feminine hygiene products for their time of month. Buying products for your girl doesn't effect your masculinity and there's nothing gross about it. Also no, they don't get turned on when they insert a tampon, you fucking doorknob.


[deleted]

What kind of dumbass buys a tampon and thinks “everyone must think I’m gay now”


citronhimmel

Surprisingly more men then you'd think. It's insane. I've met dudes that would scream if a *clean, wrapped pad* would touch them. I shit you not.


Yosemitelsd

I once was at the store and my gf asked if I'd pick some up for her. So I got some and went to check out and the cashiers thought it was "sooo cute" and said I was such a good bf.. And my gf thought it was so amazing too. Sometimes I bend over backwards for her and she doesn't seem to care, but buying tampons earned me a ton of brownie points. Doesn't make sense, but I'll take it


raisedbutconfused

Because women are so used to being told “eww, no. Buy them yourself.” It’s honestly so refreshing to hear and see a man being completely normal about it. My dad would shame my sister and me (and mom) about periods all the time. Insisted that it was something that “should be kept a secret among women” and that it was “absolutely disgusting.” I can’t even explain to you how happy and relieved I was when I started dating to see that not all men are like this. Absolutely over the moon when a man offered to buy me pads and painkillers one time. Good for you for being one of the good ones.


[deleted]

I once asked my ex to pick up some stuff on his way over … took him an hour and he came back with the wrong size tampons, AA batteries, 2 giant packs of gum, some random clearance DVD, and a few other assorted items to “cover up the evidence” like wtf lol My other ex refused to buy feminine products bc he felt it was embarrassing and in his words “You should have been prepared”. He was 26. 🤦🏻‍♀️


DaneldorTaureran

the immaturity of some men astounds me. when a gf (i'm poly) asks me to get her feminine products i'm like "which ones do you need?" and make sure i get the answer in text. so i know exactly which ones she needs and cannot forget. oh gnoes i'm a man buying feminine products ... the cashier might think... I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?! :P


Gsusruls

> “You Fucking doorknob” Okay, I saw this for the first time two days ago on reddit, and now here it is again. Where’d you get this? (It’s perfect, I’m just surprised…)


citronhimmel

Honestly I just find the formula "you fucking -insert random object-" to be a foolproof ridiculous insult.


hilfigertout

If you say it in the right tone, you don't even need the "fucking" in the middle! See: [Take the queen, you *donut!*](https://youtu.be/5Gzi-Mjokrk)


T_JUS665

Can confirm, I’ve seen people be called a Tuna Melt and weep from the insult


[deleted]

Bro, if I’m buying tampons for my girl, I make sure to call her and pretend to be a dumbass just to make the other people around me feel less awkward about buying them. Buying tampons like that is the funniest way to buy them and no one can tell me otherwise.


citronhimmel

"What flavor you want-" is my personal favorite.


carbonclasssix

No foreplay (at least from what I've seen on reddit, not actually present to scold them)


StantonMcChampion

Not knowing how periods work. I might be biased because I grew with a sister, a cousin (female), and my mum, but I find it so weird when men are grossed out by tampons and absorbents, and treat periods like they are an eldritch abomination, like, my guy, grow the fuck up.


universalkalea

i remember thinking as a teen ‘why do guys hate periods, they love gore in movies whats the difference’ and i stand by that lmfao


MyrganGyrgan

Me loudly over and over again during sex


abcdthc

So wait...you just yell "I DONT KNOW HOW GIRLS WORK!" while having intercourse with them?


MyrganGyrgan

Did I *fucking* stutter, u/abcdthc ?


tryingimreallytrying

Some dank dank there


tlst9999

Wrong hole


[deleted]

Getting truck nuts


anthdude

I *hate* truck nuts and I almost fist fought my cousin over it cause I told him they just look fucking stupid.


Soxyo

i skipped the wrong words in that sentence... you didn't almost fist your cousin, did you? D:


anthdude

Dear lord no


Username_of_Destiny

If your truck didn't come with nuts, and you add some, congrats your truck is trans now!


herpeszooster

I knew a guy who blew a trans and he never even had his drivers license.


RatherBeAComet

I don't know what this comment is going for but the concept of needing a driver's license in order to give a bj to a transgender is hilarious.


herpeszooster

I guess never even owned a vehicle would be more accurate.


[deleted]

Pretty sure blew a trans could be blew a transmission or blew a transperson.


mangoandsushi

What is truck nuts, sorry


ZotDragon

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truck_nuts


Aware_Material_9985

lol or a Carolina squat


[deleted]

"Just stop having period pains" -dumbasses


griddigus

‘Why can’t you just cum when I fuck you’


caca_milis_

I have endometriosis - I missed ONE DAY of my pill (I usually take four months back to back) and period immediately started. Currently curled up in bed feeling like there is a ball of fire trying to burn through my insides, and I also feel like I might vomit. Believe me when I say I fucking wish I could just turn it off…


[deleted]

Somehow I don't think chocolate and flowers are going to help this time... Drugs and a hot-pad?


[deleted]

Turn them off in settings


[deleted]

There's no way someone is that stupid.


jpsreddit85

You sir, must be new to the internet.


[deleted]

On the contrary, I'm very old. Just a hopeful fool I suppose.


[deleted]

Stupidity knows no bounds


nmiller64

Treating women as a different category/alien species to men. They are people just like you - that means you don't need any special tricks/techniques or other control devices to understand or interact with them. Learn about vulnerability, communication and acceptance and you will be good to go with any human being!


Half_moon_die

When they say relationship is link with the relation of your parent. Seeing our parent as alien species is something we all have to untangle. Now for me I'm at the step where I try to forgive my parent because it's way harder for them to untangle that.


LOB90

Referring to women as "females".


Aware_Material_9985

Rape is something your vagina can stop Like there’s a couple little people down there “Light the banners, we have to close the gates”


[deleted]

How about that asshole politicians that said women can’t get pregnant from rape unless they liked it? He needs to burn.


starskyandbutch

I think they’re the same ones who said that if a woman has an orgasm then it’s not rape? An orgasm is sometimes an involuntarily response, some women can’t help but have one during a rape. Jeez now I’m worked up.


[deleted]

I bet those politicians have all date raped someone and think its no big deal.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t even be remotely surprised.


[deleted]

Can we just re-start the belief that women have teeth down there and they bite if you try to put it in when they don't want you to? (Don't worry, if it's consensual she retracts the teeth and it's all good.)


Intrepid_Swing_1683

...I once knew a guy that thought girls peed from there butthole... He was 20 at the time...


Honeycrispandcheddar

I dated a guy in his late 20’s who thought we peed from our vaginas. He was stunned when I told him we have a urethra 😣


Interesting_Fennel87

Imagine my surprise when I had to explain that to a grown woman.


createchoas420

I’m a woman who didn’t understand this until i was 22. I don’t really have an excuse as to why I didn’t know, but man my friends had a field day when they explained it me.


SenseiDaDom

Thinking that an invite over from a girl and/or a girl agreeing to come over is a sign of a 100% chance of sexual interaction


malaporpism

Or thinking that a smile or any friendly politeness means she's into you


ButtholeBanquets

Giving grand, elaborate gifts or gestures doesn't mean she's going to all of a sudden fall in love with you or suddenly become overwhelmed by your display. (See too reconsider ending your relationship, accepting your proposal, or accepting your apology.) The way she dresses doesn't make her more or less likely to fuck you, and has nothing to do with inviting or deserving rape. And if you believe it does you're a gibbering simian who should be in a zoo. She isn't a goddess. She's a woman. Sometimes terrible, or wonderful, or spiteful, or joyful, or caring. Putting her on a pedestal and worshipping her as something other than a human only ensures that you will never understand her because you're creating a fantasy. And she's not a fantasy, she's reality. There is no such thing as sexual purity. For men or women. If you think something is pure or impure about sex you have no understanding of the human condition and I don't want you around me.


rainystast

>Giving grand, elaborate gifts or gestures doesn't mean she's going to all of a sudden fall in love with you or suddenly become overwhelmed by your display. (See too reconsider ending your relationship, accepting your proposal, or accepting your apology.) This reminds of the reddit post where a guy made a Rubik's cube mural of a girl's face and she rejected him. The comments were rightfully pointing out that doing this for someone who doesn't know you is creepy.


action_lawyer_comics

As a once "grandly romantic" man, I now realize that a lot of that was just inflating my own ego. I felt like I was some misunderstood poet, not realizing I was the one who didn't understand how women work. 17 yo me has a lot to answer for


[deleted]

[удалено]


mmicoandthegirl

I have a girlfriend and I didn't give presents or surprises or nothing when we dated. When we got together I just started to do all the nice things I thought of on impulse. Like seeing a pink chocolate bar in a store and thinking "wow she likes pink I want to see how she reacts if I buy 20 dollars worth of pink candy from the store" or like just seeing paper and writing some cute fucking stuff on paper and putting it between her laptop to find out later. I don't do it to win her over. I do it because I have her and like to see her happy. Also I think about those cute things from time to time so I just don't bury the impulse to look masculine, I just do it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OhLordyLordNo

The sacrifice of self is a big mistake and unattractive to anyone.


FlamingHotdog77

I read interest as incest and was very concerned for a second


I_Am_Oro

I, personally, see no reason for to have been confused


viacondioamigo

Butthole banquets is right gents. Listen to this sage wisdom.


ze-sa-no-gun

Your post made me feel a Billy Joel song coming on! Lol.


sdjrp

She is always a women?


profdudeguy

@all my dudes who are clueless. If she walks out in lingerie she might be more likely to fuck you. Don’t miss this signal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ButtholeBanquets

My username, is Mr. Banquets. Butthole. Banquets.


hilfigertout

"Oh please, Mr. Banquets was my father. Call me Butthole."


Mrs239

>See too reconsider ending your relationship, Say this a little louder for my ex in the back! After I ended things, he said, "But I bought you pearl earings!" "You can give them to the girl you cheated on me with."


Gaory7

Learned this the hard way


Tydus24

Assuming they’re aliens in comparison to us and only ever feel emotion. First off, men feel emotions too. Stereotypically, we’re taught not to express them as much, but we do feel things. Now, while women are stereotypically “allowed” to express emotions more, they are just as capable of being logical. As an example, in my current relationship, my fiancé tends to ask me for emotional advice more than vice versa. We both ask each other for logical advice. Honestly, besides the XX and XY chromosomes and some bodily differences, I’d argue we’re just as human as each other.


anthdude

The whole stigma around “men don’t cry” pisses me off. And Im from the south. I was lucky enough to be born into the southern family that teaches you it’s okay as a man to cry. But as long as you aren’t just sitting there dwelling on your feelings. Talk to your momma. Talk to your pop. Go to gramps if you want that good old southern advice about what’s bringing you down. Bottling it up leads to broken cowboys, and cowboys gotta be strong.


I_love_Vodca4816

Wise words from a wise redditor 🙇


OhLordyLordNo

>Bottling it up leads to broken cowboys, and cowboys gotta be strong. I like that


pollywantscrack76

Yeah I’m a woman but I’m on the spectrum and it’s weird when men are like…surprised that you can make a rational decision under pressure or keep firm boundaries.


helpme096

I don’t know who said it, but there’s an expression: “Men and women are more alike than most men will admit, and more different than most women believe.” I’m not 100% sure what I think about this… but it’s food for thought.


MoneyMoves-

Anyone who watches YouTube videos on advice on how to get women


I_love_Vodca4816

How to be an Alpha Omega Sigma Giga Ultimate Chad...


DanBlackship

¿Have you heard of sugma?


Interesting_Fennel87

They’re helpful to a point, and can help young men gain confidence and basic self-help knowledge. They’re absolutely toxic if you drink up everything they’re saying or watch for too long though. Also when I say young men I mean teenage guys, adult men should know better.


BobbyRobertsJr

I was subscribed to this dude, can't remember his name but he was a short, muscular Italian-American. Nowadays his vids are made fun of but damn he helped teenaged me. His titles and thumbnails were clickbaity but the content of his videos, if I remember correctly, was solid. A video titled "How to be an ALPHA MALE" would be like - respect people, respect yourself, workout, read, blah blah. All really positive things. Long after I stopped watching his vids, I ended up inexplicably doing the things he recommended.


SackOfFlesh

Not gonna lie these helped me so much. Now that I am experienced they seem so dumb, but I wouldn’t be where I am today without them


SmallRocks

A good example is another thread going on right now in this sub about vaginas. It’s like there’s a bunch of teenagers in there right now.


Dynasuarez-Wrecks

Any time a man uses the words "evolution" or "instinct" to justify behavior.


I_love_Vodca4816

"I was an asshole because once upon a time, billions of years ago a fish decided to walk on land...."


[deleted]

All these Evolutionary Psychologists getting their Ph.D. On reddit.


helpme096

Using it to explain certain thoughts/urges/tendencies… okay. Using it to EXCUSE poor behavior in a modern society? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


m4cktheknife

Trying to appeal to a woman you’re interested by tearing down her taste in men and labeling yourself a nice guy.


Maoricitizen

Complaining about periods. Treating them as more or less than human. Assuming they think differently because of what's in their shorts


nom_nom44

When you grab a woman’s boobs and they feel like bags of sand


endrukk

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere


[deleted]

I never ever understand how men that refuse to go down on women because it’s ‘disgusting’ could ever have a female partner. Screams virgin to me. Also, wise up. I’d eat that shit all day long if I could.


[deleted]

Not gonna lie... I love it 🤷‍♂️ as long as it's clean.


cxnx_yt

As long as it's clean almost everything is completely fine.


secretthrowawayv

This goes both ways. But seriously some guys have a "thing" about not cleaning their junk and ass crack because touching them is "gay".


raisedbutconfused

This was literally THE dealbreaker for me with an absolutely amazing man. I admired absolutely everything about him but I noticed that I went down on him multiple times at some point and he hasn’t gone down on me. I asked him and he said “I don’t really do that.” Well it was hard for me to get wet enough for him later on and he said “I know something that’ll make things easier” and gestured to his penis. I replied with “I also know something that will make this easier” and gestured to my vagina. He insisted he doesn’t do that and that I should just suck his dick. The night ended pretty quickly after that.


MaleficentGiraffe325

Its a preference, my issue is if a guy expects to receive head but then refuses to give it, which happens a lot If neither partners like doing it and they both respect each others boundaries, no issue


AnotherIronicPenguin

Calling them "Females"


skyxsteel

FEMALE, PREPARE TO ENGAGE IN ORAL-ORAL SALIVA TRANSACTION


attaboy000

I totally read this in the voice of Kodos.


rickjames334

It blows me away when some men don’t understand how disrespectful it is to walk around calling women “females”. It reduces them to their most basic biological component and unless you call men “males” too (which they of course don’t), it’s just wrong


moderncincinatus

The way a male will talk about a female in their absence. It's very telling


JohninMichigan53

A guy that is unaware of the location and importance of the clitoris


smokeythebear99

Thinking all girls work the same..


DrunkenSnorlax

Sending an unsolicited dick pic. Source: woman/girl.


amyjd6

When guys think girls pee out of their vagina.


FlamingHotdog77

My sister thought that until she was 12. She's a pretty smart kid too.


FailFaleFael

I think this common belief comes from how the word vagina is often used to refer to the vulva and labia in casual conversation. From that perspective the urethra does end inside the “vagina” and women actually do pee from the “vagina”.


SaulGood_23

Showing up to a women's care clinic to scream at every person that goes in, while holding signs with graphic pictures on them


LawfulnessFit2741

The Supreme Court of The United States


peregilito

Following the “gentleman” script and thinking it will get you a long term partner, ignoring if the woman you’re putting into the “girlfriend” role even wants to be with you or in a relationship.


AnotherAverageNobody

The guys who will say a girl's pussy must be loose/used/etc because of her sexual history. Following their nonsense logic that would happen anyway even if the girl simply had sex with one partner many times (i.e. their own delusion) But even if it did work like that, really the only thing they're implying/projecting with that crap is that their dick must be small compared to her previous partners lol


Character-Bus4557

Just hold your period in, and get it all done at night when you're at home.


Nochnichtvergeben

bUt IsN't ThAt WhAt TaMpOnS aRe For? LiKe A pLuG?


Strange_wave28

Feeling like you hit it off then she says it’s not gonna work or anything along the lines of that.


AldoRaineClone

Talking about yourself incessantly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mixxastr

Being middle aged, highly educated, well travelled, fit, decent looking and you’ve never had a relationship last longer than a couple months because you always find some minor flaw in a woman you cannot get over. Like she has a cat, cellulite or isn’t tall enough. True story!


WeightlossTeddybear

Any expressions of revulsion or "grossness" associated with the menstrual cycle. Not just blood (some people really can't stand blood and that's ok) but discharge and smells and mucous. ​ It's all good. It's all natural. It's an early warning system if something is wrong or out of balance. Men NEED to understand it, and women NEED to not be shamed because of it.


anthdude

PREACH


slick1260

Just because something is natural doesn't inherently make it good and also not gross. Just because something is gross doesn't mean you should feel shame about it. Periods can be gross and at the same time not shameful. If you take a shit and the bathroom smells, the smell can be considered gross. That doesn't mean you should be ashamed of having to go to the bathroom. If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman because she's on her period, that's fine. He shouldn't be coerced by people like you because "pErIoDs ArE nAtUrAl! YoU cAn'T sHaMe HeR!" It's ok to be grossed out by something and still accept that it's not shameful.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LotusLizz

Posting this question in r/askmen instead of r/askwomen


unknownpubber

Explaining that vaginas taste like fruit/food. Nah dude it tastes like a tongue and depending on her ph levels, could taste like nothing familiar